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The Camp of Salvation

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Nigel grumbled, and entered the long, blue bus with "Jesus Camp" printed in large, white, block letters on the door. He walked to the back, and took a seat next to a small, cute curly-haired brunette boy. After a few more kids entered, the doors closed and the bus drove off. Nigel reached into his pocket, taking out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.


"Y-you can't do that," the brunette boy said. Nigel smiled, and lit the cigarette.

"Said who?"

"It's one of the rules," said the brunette, avoiding eye contact with Nigel.

"Wanna puff?" Said Nigel, putting the cigarette in his mouth.

"No! I don't, it's the against the rules and we'll get in trouble!" The smaller boy cried out.

"Not if we're quiet" Nigel whispered with a wry smile, and blew smoke into Adam's face.

"Put it out!"

"Fine, fine, I will." He said, and put the cigarette out on the chair in front of them. "What's your name, honey?"

"Adam?" The boy now named Adam replied, confused. Why would he call me "honey", a term of endearment? I don't know him!

"Why would you call me honey, if I may ask?"

Nigel laughed, "because, you probably taste sweet,"

"How could you possibly taste me?" Adam asked, even more confused. Is he Hannibal Lecter or something?

"Well, you can find out tonight, if you'd like," Nigel licked his lips and winked, then threw the cigarette onto the ground, kicking it underneath the chair in front of him.

"Why can't you just tell me now?!" Adam insisted.

Nigel snickered, "I have to show you, not tell you."

Then it dawned on Adam - he was talking about oral sex.

"Oh, you're talking about oral sex right? I don't really want to have oral sex with you, as I don't know you too well, but I'm flattered." Said Adam so loudly that everyone in a radius of ten feet could hear.

Nigel cringed, "can you be quieter? Thanks"

"Oh, yes, sorry" Adam replied, "And, by the way, this is your first time going to Camp of Salvation, right?"

"Yes," said Nigel, "and it's horrible already"

"It's not so bad, the food here is nice, I have to say, the worst part is when they lie to you about God and read you passages from the Bible. Are you religious, by any chance?"

"No, I'm here because i stole a pack of cigarettes from a pharmacy, and this is my parents way of punishing me." Nigel replied, "how many times have you been to the Camp of Salvation?"

"This is my 8th time, I've been going since I was 8."

"So we're the same age, then? I'm assuming you're 16, like me."

"Yes, I am. You look older than your age though."

Nigel snorted, "thanks, babe."

Adam was about to reply when a loud voice announced that they would arrive at the campus in 20 minutes.

******* AT THE CAMP *******

The campus was was quite large, and very green. There were many cabins, and a huge building in the centre of the area. Adam, Nigel and another boy were put in cabin 1984.

They entered the cabin, which was occupied by another boy with short, black hair. The boy turned around.

"Fucking hell Darko! What are you doing here?!" Nigel yelled.

"I got caught sucking dick at the back of a Chinese restaurant," Darko replied.

"You're kidding!" Nigel said,

"Obviously, fuckface, I stole a Michael Kors watch,"

"Good taste, my man, I stole cigarettes,"

"Fucking predictable,"

"Have you two met before?" Adam asked.

"And who's this little twink here?" Darko said with a smirk

"None of your fucking-"

"I'm Adam!"

"He likes attention then, huh?"

"No, I'm actually an introvert, and what's a twink?"

"A cute little bitch like you"

"I'm not a female dog"

"But you know who is?" Said Darko.

"Who?" Adam replied.

"Your mum!"

"Shut up!" Yelled Nigel, and threw the closest thing to him, which was a bible.

"My mother is dead." Said Adam.

"She still a bitch th-"

"Darko you cunt, I swear to fucking God, leave the kid alone!"

Then, a voice boomed over the loudspeakers. "Everyone please report to the education centre. Thank you."

"Let's go," Nigel grumbled.


"Now, let's go over the rules!" Said one of the camp counsellors in an overly-cheery voice.

"No cursing, no sexual activity, no fighting, no listening to loud music - unless it's gospel!"

Darko raised his hand, "so no Adam Lambert?"

The instructor's face turned red, he took a deep breath, and let out a huge, hate filled rant about how sinful Adam Lambert is.

"Damn, all he does is suck dick and make good music, chill." Darko muttered under his breath.

After the instructor made some more obnoxious comments, he allowed everyone to return to their cabins. Nigel, Adam, and Darko continued unpacking their items

"So.. how long have you two known each other?" Adam asks Nigel and Darko.

"Wow, a long time," Nigel says with a grin, "I think we first met back in Romania, when we were 8. We met at that coffee shop, right?"

"What we're you doing?"

Nigel and Darko exchanged a look and a wink, "nothing!" They said in unison.

"Oh, alright...."


Adam woke up, he showered, woke up Nigel and Darko and then pulled his clothes on.

Then, a voice boomed over on the loudspeaker. "Everyone, get to the assembly by 7:00! Thank you!"

After Nigel and Darko washed up and got dressed, they entered the assembly hall.

"Good morning everyone! What a beautiful day to worship Jesus and our father God! Now, before we get to our announcements, let's say a prayer to God to thank him for waking us up this lovely, sunny morning!"

After the prayer, which Nigel and Darko lip-synced, several announcements were made about rules, activities and other bullshit.

"Now, let's sing a song!" Said the counsellor - Steve - a bit too enthusiastically.

"Oh happy day! Oh happy daay..."

The song went on and on, it was like Sister Act, but shitty. Really, really shitty.

After the song ended, Nigel, Darko and Adam ate breakfast.

"I hate that song so much," Darko sighed into his cereal.

"They sing that every day, unfortunately,"

Nigel and Darko groaned in unison.

Then, the same voice bellowed over the loudspeakers. "Hello everyone! Make your way to the arts an craft station, thank you!"

"Jesus Christ, what will we seven be doing? Making macaroni friendship bracelets?" Darko muttered

"If we're lucky." Said Adam.

*arts and crafts area*

"Holy fuck." Nigel said, they were currently gluing and painting popsicle sticks and cheap wooden beads to make rosaries.

"Adam, what colour should I paint this cross? Green or blue?" Nigel asked.

"Red, for the colour of Jesus's blood." Adam said.

"Fair enough," said Darko, who was currently on his fifth rosary.

Afterwards, it was time for dinner - which was a disgusting casserole - then bed.

"Goodnight, Nigel and Darko." Said Adam.

"Goodnight Adam." Said Nigel and Darko in unison.