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Humans are odd. 

Materialistic, violent, selfish. 

(Honestly they have absolutely no business out at sea but here they are, on monstrously large wooden contraptions riding the waves like they owned it.)

Willing to gut each other for a few pieces of gold  or what ever is that awful smelling liquid in those barrels. Carmilla once watched from afar as a man down several mugs of it in a single go and he promptly fell over board, drowning himself. His crew mates cheered and laughed, realizing he wasn't moving far too late. It would have been an easy meal had his blood not tasted so bitter. 

However the most violent example took place upon two vessels in the middle of the ocean, blowing holes in each other and men scrambling over each other. Blood, gunpowder, swords and split wood, she assumed it was the greatest treasure this world had ever seen by the way these humans screamed and clawed their way through their fellow man. But all that was left at the end of the battle was a brave but broken sailor and beautiful woman, draped in white with ropes once binding her wrists now removed, untouched and smiling.

A human woman caused this. Without lifting so much as a finger and yet the way he looked at her... 

As if she were the greatest treasure in the world. 

Both ships eventually caught fire and sank to the bottom of the sea, one exploding on its way down as the two sailed away on a small boat, as if hundreds of lives were not just lost they stared into each others eyes and went about their way. 


Carmilla was baffled.

 She returned home to retell the story to her sister in search for answers. But Mattie just laughed.

"Humans are dangerous when it comes to pleasure" she grinned, her teeth stained red with flesh hanging between her lips from her most recent kill. She shrugged, tossing the half eaten leg aside. 

She then proceeded to compare them to dolphins. Blissfully unaware creatures who, for some strange reason, reproduce for fun. Many male dolphins could be seen replicating the process with whatever they could find.

" eel?"


"You saw a dolphin...put an eel around its-"

"It was rather horrifying for everyone"

Will, who was unfortunately eavesdropping at the time, uncomfortably curled inward at the thought.

"Men will gladly kill each other for the touch of another, it's how they experience pleasure....something we don't know and never will" her eyes rolled," I am personally thankful for it, it destroys a sense of self. They lose control of themselves in the strangest of ways, who else would think subjecting an eel to that was a good idea?"

Carmilla watched as Mattie drifted off into thought, pulling herself to the nearest rock and resting beside it. She followed her absent minded gaze, finding herself staring up at the surface, where the sun was just a faded blur of light. 

"However...humans are the most dangerous when in love" she said gently, a quick indication that this would be a story that Carmilla will never hear, "They will burn everything for love" 


"Is this alright?" 

Laura bit her lip, contemplating the feeling before flinching,"A-ah!" Carmilla's hand immediately withdrew, "...Take it easy, slower"

Slipping back to holding her close around the waist. She mumbled apologies into her bare shoulder in between gentle kisses. 

Flash forward to a few months later and her feelings had not changed. Humans are still odd and particularly the one in her arms at the moment.

One day she went to the surface to find a young woman shouting commands upon her vessel with fire in her eyes and a confident smile that made Carmilla question everything she thought she knew about humans, and herself. 

"Y-you're getting better at this..." she shuddered, her words trailing off into a sigh as soft lips trailed from her shoulder to the back of her neck, brushing aside wet hair as she went across hot skin. 

Carmilla grinned, stopping just behind her ear, "I should hope so, with all the practice we've had. Are you sure First Mate palm tree hasn't run off with your ship?" 

"That is a problem for later, now hurry up before I get pruny" Laura's command would have been taken more seriously if it didn't come out in a shaky groan as pointed teeth nipped at her ear.

"Yes Captain" she purred.  

Ship wrecked and in no hurry to return home Laura set up camp beside a beautiful lake where they spent their days eating various catches, watching the sun set behind the trees and listen to the sirens call at night. 

Now free to do as they wished, running from the law and destroying those who opposed, the most feared Pirate of the seven seas found herself trapped in the arms of an impatient shark who pulled her into the lake before she even had time to drop her pants. As they did so any time there was a moment to spare on their self proclaimed island headquarters, Laura left First Mate Danny in charge to spend alone time at the very place they met those months ago. 

Eyes trained on the sporadic rise and fall of her chest at every touch Carmilla buried her lips where her neck met her collarbone, a new spot she realized very quickly receives interesting responses. 

Her skin felt like the inner lining off a sea shell, untouched by the harsh sun and rough waves, beautiful, smooth, sand in color from which the high tides could not reach. She couldn't take her hands off of her. Carmilla's fingers were rough, calloused skin covered in scars; they couldn't be anymore different than they already were but the sensation of smooth flawless skin flush against her own was...pleasant? It would be the closest she could to feel whatever it is Laura was feeling or at least she assumed so. Unable to control herself or give a specific reason as to why just that she felt like she needed to. 

Laura tried to describe it once, like a fire underneath her skin starting in her stomach that sets her body ablaze, in a good way. It didn't make much sense but neither did any of this not that they didn't care. 

Rough hands moved to their own accord. Across her stomach mapping out small ripples of muscle or creating circles with the tips of her fingers around the inside of her thigh, her hips bucked slightly at the teasing digits. Carmilla found herself smiling at every reaction, a swell of pride in her chest for every twitch and moan she created.

It took them many trials. Patience, observation, and communication. 

Both hands reunited sliding upwards across the expanse of her torso until cupping both mounds of flesh in a gentle but firm grasp earning a slow drawled out sigh. Laura's head thumped backwards against her shoulder, falling limp in her arms against the motions.

Lips gently nipping at her exposed jawline, Carmilla pulled her closer until her back was flush against her front, she fit perfectly against her form as if she were always meant to be there. She mumbled a soft, "Are you ok?"

"Y-yes" she sighed, Carmilla caught sight of the corner of her lips, parted and curled upwards in a smile," Please don't stop" 

The first few times she blindly followed Lafs advice who had their heart in the right place but no one could have foreseen the future chaffing or remembered the inch long incisors. But on the bright side Laura had a new ear piercing.

Laura's hand emerged from beneath the water to reach up and cup the shark's cheek, encouraging her to continue and pulled her in. Reconnecting their lips as her hands gently massaged and stroked over both perk nipples. Which upon an earlier discovery, if pinched at the right amount of pressure like so...

"Hhnnn!" she gasped against her lips, her hands clinging to any hair she could reach. Holding onto anything she could as if she were on edge and yet remained limp and relaxed against her. It was no wonder how mermaids lured their prey, it would be so easy to just-

Laura's free hand gently grasped Carmilla's, her fingers intertwining perfectly in between her own as she dragged it downwards. 

"Is this ok now?"

"Please" she mewled, leaving sloppy kisses along her jawline," Carm please" She panted, begged, moaned, whining and saying the strangest things. Sometimes even calling out to the heavens. But her personal favorite was when she called her name.

She let her hand be guided south, past a mound of wet curls and towards her center where upon immediate contact sent the poor human into a frenzy.

As previously instructed to do so, she dragged her fingers from the bottom upward repeatedly, feeling a difference in texture in doing so. She was told human females had a natural lubricant for mating, or in this case replicating it. 

(If only other animals were so lucky)

Laura was a mess. Burying her face against the slits of gills in her neck, noises escaping her panting lips and hips slowly rolling against her hand. Carmilla almost wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it and she did the first few times until she realized something.

She was vulnerable.

Laura had completely surrendered herself and put her entire being into trusting her to not let go. Her chest swelled at this, this strange ritual and yet somehow felt connected. 

She stopped. 

"Turn around" 

Laura's breathing slowed, blinking back into reality as the motions had ceased and a realization that she was speaking to her. She glanced over her shoulder just as Carmilla grasped her hips, tugging her around to face her. Out of instinct Laura clung to her shoulders as Carmilla began to swim forward towards the edge of the lake instead of up to keep them afloat. 

"W...what?" her face was red, emitting heat and eyes in a haze. 

"I want to see you this time" 

Their first time was much like how they began today and almost every other time, Laura settled herself against her front and held her hands, guiding her the way she would do it to herself. But now with more experience, (and Laf's suggestion to try new things) Carmilla's hands slipped underneath her knees, pulling her flush against her stomach earning a sharp gasp at the contact from her now very sensitive center. 

"U-uh..." she gulped, her facing burning and heart rate accelerating that Carmilla could feel it beating in her blood.  

"Is that ok?" 

She bit her lip, not so subtly staring down past the blurs of clear water where they were connected. With a mischievous grin Carmilla pulled her closer while pushing forward, creating stronger friction and sending Laura's head back against the grass with a low groan, " God I think you might actually kill me this time" she whined, clinging to the rocks behind her.

"Well I haven't in the past three times today so I think you'll be fine" she grinned, grasping her hips tight as her legs wrapped around her waist. In no time at all Laura was once again lost to any coherency. She wrapped her arms around her neck and shoulder, nails digging into rough skin, hips bucking helplessly against her.

She began another string of curses and prayers to her god in between rough kisses and gentle tongues. 

How odd. 

"F-fuck...Carm..." she whimpered pathetically, shamelessly rubbing herself against the rough texture of skin. 

The entire situation was odd. Even more so that she didn't seem to mind it. Almost just as lost in the moment as Laura was, matching the rhythm of hips to meet in perfect time.

Pushing her back against the wall and one strong wave of her tail and they were lifted upwards, the water line caressing just below her breast. The warm air caused her to shudder, Laura's skin became riddled with bumps at the contact but she didn't seem to notice. She let out a surprised yelp, holding onto a fist full of grass that was now within reach. 


"You're so beautiful..." she mumbled, before taking an erect nipple in between her lips and suckling, lost in a haze of her own; of Laura's skin and breathy moans. Now sitting at the edge of the lake Laura's ankles hooked behind her back and clung to her shoulders. 

" more piercings please..." she gasped out as a teasing fang gently glided over the peak. Carmilla's lips split into a grin against her breast, letting out a low chuckle.  

"I'll be good" she purred, her hands slipping up the expanse of her back and wrapped around her waist. Stealing a glance up at the panting mess that is Laura she couldn't help but smile. The girl was gone, nails digging into the grass and her skin as if it would keep her from flying away. 

"C...Carm please" she whined, releasing her tight hold on the world and cupped her face, pulling her up to smash her lips against her own. It was messy and desperate, a quick indication that what ever this was is getting close to the end.  

Gravity took hold or perhaps it was Laura pulling her down. She couldn't tell, her lips were toxic, she could kiss her for hours if she could. She found herself on top and most of her body pulled out of the water. Now she was trapped, the small human's limbs wrapped securing around her body like an octopus holding onto its prey. She might not look at one the same way again now. She laughed at the thought.

"Are you alright?" she mumbled, gently nipping underneath her jawline. Relishing at every gasp and labored breath, she could feel it all now. Her heart was beating wildly against her skin, the blood rushing and every rise and fall of her chest. 

She begin to curse again, incoherent words failing to form as her hips rolled upwards at the new weight, shameless and begging for contact. She would later think back on this and be embarrassed, covering her face in shame for her behavior. 

Her motions became more sporadic, rough and lacking rhythm. She groaned, panting wildly,"I...I'!"

Carmilla stopped immediately, prying herself from her clutches,"Oh no you don't, not yet"

If the entire situation wasn't odd from the start, the newest discovery of the human anatomy came to light recently.  

Slipping back into the water, she hooked her arms around each leg and pulled her closer, just barely over the edge to be at the perfect level.

Laura nearly screamed. 

The strange natural lubricant of the human body, for some odd reason had a taste to it. A taste that was actually...good. Really good. 

A discovery made on accident when the slick substance was on her fingers while Laura lay on the ground in a heaving mess. It had a particular scent and curiosity got the better of her. The look on Laura's face was priceless. 

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod" she cried out, her back arched and ripped the grass straight from its roots as her tongue swirled and lapped at her center.

Carmilla let out a low moan in response, holding down her hips from bucking against her not that she minded. This particular reaction was her favorite. She cried out her name and clutched the hand keeping her steady tight. 

And that smile. 

Laura smiled, her eyes lost and rolled behind her lids as her clit was found and teased relentlessly. 

The grip on her hand tightened until her knuckles were white, her head thrashed and cries grew in volume until finally falling over edge. Her body went rigid to the point of shaking and released a sharp cry that any thing alive on the island most likely heard her. Carmilla remained still, keeping her lips and tongue at her center, riding out her climax with the slow roll of her hips.

"" she whimpered, struggling to find air in her lungs let alone words to follow through. Slowly her body fell limp, completely exhausted and spent her legs unraveled and arms fell to the side. But Carmilla was not done just yet, she hummed along, happily lapping up what ever was left until Laura's body caught up with her. 

"O-ok take it easy!" she yelped, gently shooing the hungry shark away. She complied, removing her grip from Laura's hips to push herself upwards, looming over the exhausted human. Wetness still covering her lips and chin, she grinned, locking eyes as her tongue slowly wiped the slick substance from her bottom lip, Laura's blush returned with a vengeance at the sight. 

"....oh my...God..." she groaned, now flat on her back her arm hooked over her eyes as she laughed,"I'm...pretty sure I'm dead now" 

Resting her elbows against the grass on both sides of her, Carmilla leaned against her fist above the girl. Her chest still heaved for air, trying to remember what it was like to breath normally, "I take it you don't want to go for a personal record then?" 

Laura lifted her arm to find an innocent smile, she shook her head, "Carm I'm going to have to go back eventually" 

"Not without my share Captain" 

She laughed, that beautiful laugh and smile as she pointed downwards, "What? All that wasn't enough?"

Carmilla found herself smiling as well, "Close but not quite" 

"Well then" she huffed, reaching out to her with both arms out stretched," Comere"

Without a moment's hesitation Carmilla pulled herself completely out of the lake and into Laura's awaiting embrace. Slipping into her arm's perfectly as if she were her missing piece making her whole again. From hearing her name from Laura's lips or her strange taste, the best part by far was this. Just this. 

"Oof...hey easy on the fish" she laughed as Carmilla tucked her head underneath her chin, slipping her arms between the grass and her shoulders to hold onto, ensuring every part of her was in contact with her skin. Laura's leg casually draped over her long tail that gently swayed in contentment.  

"Haven't you noticed? My diet has been exclusively you for the past month" Carmilla smiled as her eyes gently fluttered, enveloped in her presence and scent she felt herself relax. 

"In that case I don't mind" she mumbled, fingers running through her tangled black mane and tracing old scars on her back earning a short grunt of approval. 

Her heart returned to a steady beat and breathing fell into a rhythm that became as soothing as the waves, yet Laura slipped into unconsciousness before she did. Exhaustion of four complete rounds finally caught up to her, she was gone from this world with Carmilla close behind.

Humans are odd and dangerous when in love.


Then what did that make her?