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The Stargate Drabble Collection

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"Is it bad what she said made perfect sense to me?"

Mal 'Firefly'

(12/6)

“Is it bad that this no longer surprises me?”  Cam stated as he joined Sam in the hallway walking towards the room where Daniel - make that Vala - waited.

“Hazard of the job, I think,” she answered with a smile.  It was tinged with worry, which he could understand. Daniel and Vala hadn’t had those bracelets on for months and yet somehow retained enough of a link for Vala to take over Daniel to get a message across.

He supposes it's not that surprising either.  Vala always seemed to win against the odds, and they had an odd thing going on there. He was pretty sure Vala had a thing for Daniel, and while he would deny it Daniel didn’t seem completely unaffected by Vala either. Still, it was a worrisome thought since they weren't’ sure it was the bracelets.

They walked into the interrogation room to find Teal’c watching as Vala!Daniel ate pancakes like there was no tomorrow.

Cam raised an eyebrow and said nothing.  He just hoped Daniel wasn’t going to end up with a stomach ache because of Vala’s cravings. Brought sympathy pains to a new level.

 


 

 

“You have a big brain, a good heart, and an ego the size of Montana.”

Abbey ‘The West Wing
(12/20)

 

Elizabeth pondered on what to say on the Reports she would be sending in the databurst.  She was currently on Rodney’s and she was finding it hard to describe Rodney.  She knew what they thought of him back at the SGC.  She remembered reading his file before selecting him for the mission.  The man was brilliant, they said, but an asshole.  Well, in more business-like terms but she got the jist.

They weren’t wrong.  Rodney was brilliant.  She couldn’t count the ways he had managed to pull a last minute save out of that Brain of his.  John seemed to work as a catalyst for Rodney, the two of them working as a team brought out the good (and occasionally, she would admit, the bad) in each other.

He was a jerk.  She had to remind him sometimes to turn down the ego, especially after a particularly good save.  The man had an ego that could rival any she had met.

THe problem was the SGC didn’t see what she saw.  What John, Teyla and Aiden saw.  That behind the brain and ego was a heart that cared deeply and was easily bruised. She quite believed that the constant friendship of his teammates had helped tremendously in lowering his more dislikable qualities.  But She couldn’t figure out a way to say that without sounding like she found him deficient to begin with, which wasn’t the case.  She had always been fond of Rodney, although she frowned at some of his more sharp sarcastic rejoinders with his subordinates.

Rodney McKay was many things, and she only had so much room.

Chapter Text

Does he love you like I loved you, does he tell you every day
Does he make you feel like you’re invincible with every word he'll say
Can you promise me if this was right, don't throw it all away
Can you do all these things, will you do all these things
Like we used to
--”Like We Used To” by A Rocket To The Moon

(2/01)

When he opened his eyes he found himself sitting back in their tent, the sounds and scents around him reminding him he was on Abydos.  He knew this could only be a dream.  He hadn’t been back there in years, and it was no longer there.  He knew this, but he couldn’t help himself from wishing it were true.

He turned as the bed shifted beside him.  Sha’re sat next to him, smiling down at him warmly.”

“Hello, My Daniel.”  She reached out and touched his face and he had to force himself not to close his eyes, not wanting to let her out of his sight.  As if she sensed his thoughts her eyes filled with a look of sympathy.  “I’m sorry it's been so long.”

“I’ve missed you.”

“I know my love,” she said, running her hands through his hair.  “It is alright to move on.”

“I don’t want to.”

“You shouldn’t throw love away because of my memory.  I would not wish it.”  She paused for a moment.  “She is a good woman, your Vala.”  He blinked.

“You know about her?”

“Yes.  And I know how deeply she feels affection for you.” She smiled.  “I would not accept another woman who cared for you less.  You do not need to push her away for my memory.”

“I think you overestimate Vala’s interest in me,” he said.  He had been battling his attraction for Vala, and the desire to take their friendship further because he didn’t trust that she was serious.  And he couldn’t quite let go of Sha’re.

“I think you underestimate your appeal, Daniel.”  She smiled softly at him.  “I am at peace, my husband.  Don’t throw away love on my account.  Don’t cheat yourself of happiness."

 


 

 

I do this from time to time, where I can never wake from a bad dream
I do this from time to time, where I can never say the things I mean
I do this from time to time, where I like to watch you as you sleep
I do this from time to time, where I like to think of you with me
-- ”Sirens” by Angels and Airwaves

(2/7)

Sometimes she woke in the middle of the night, The painful memories fading as she gulped in air and grasped the comforter to her chest.   Ever since Athena had retrieved her memories, she had been slowly getting them all back.  Even the ones she really wish she could get rid of.  Years as Qetesh.  Years afterwards trying to recover and being treated as if she was still the goddess who caused so much suffering.

It's been years, but she still gets hit sideways sometimes by a memory coming back.  The only difference is now there is someone there beside her when she wakes up.  She turns to her side and finds him there, somehow the man is able to sleep through pretty much anything so he’s still asleep, one arm under his pillow while the other sits on the bed as if reaching for her.  

She settles down and watches him.  Reminds herself that she’s not alone now, that this is her life.  The man beside her who drives her crazy in so many ways, some good some bad.  The little boy who sleeps in the room down the hall and calls her mama.   She has a family now, has a home.  Qetesh can’t hurt her now.  Can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do.  Even if she was, she has this man beside her and her friends to fight beside her.

She is not alone anymore.  

As she listens to his even breathing she drifts back to sleep, the tension of the nightmare slipping away as she is comforted by his presence there.  

 


 

 

Maybe it’s all for the best
But I don’t see any good in this, no
Maybe we’ll find something better
But the lovers that leave us
Will always hold a place
-- ”Between You and I” by Every Avenue

(2/8)

 

“What’s this?”  Jennifer asked, holding up a clay pot for Rodney’s viewing.  The two of them had decided to move in together, and Rodney’s stuff was scattered across what used to be Jennifer’s apartment and was now theirs.  The whole day had been a happy one, with their friends coming to help them carry Rodney’s stuff to her room, ignoring his pointless reminders about being careful. Most of them were gone now, although she was pretty sure John and Ronon were still reassuming some things in the livingroom.

He looked up at from where he was sorting some of his books to put in the shelves she had emptied for him and his eyes got large.

“Ah..that was Elizabeth’s.”  Jennifer looked at the clay pot again, this time with new understanding.  She hadn’t been on Atlantis long before the accident that had caused Dr. Weir to leave, the radically change her future.  SHe barely knew the woman.  But she had heard rumors of a possible brewing romance between the Doctor and Rodney.  But even if that wasn’t true, she knew that they had a close friendship.  It was more surprising that she hadn’t expected any keepsakes of his relationship.

“Maybe we should put this in the living room then.”  she stated after a few minutes of contemplation.  “Next to the family pictures.”

“You...you’re okay with me keeping that?”

“Elizabeth was your friend.  She had an impact on your life.  It might not be a part I can fully appreciate or know, not knowing her, but I’m not afraid to let you recognize it.”  The smile he gave her reassured her she had done the right thing.  She felt no jealousy of the other woman, just an appreciation of the impact the woman had made on the man she loved.  A year or so ago, maybe she would have, but her confidence in herself, as well as her relationships with her friends and with Rodney was no longer as fragile as it once was.

Maybe one day Rodney would tell her about Elizabeth, and she could tell him about David.  

 

Chapter Text

And all the kids names I've ever liked
Are tied to tragedy
And I don't want my children growing up to be
Anything like me
-- ”Passing Through The Screen Door” by The Wonder Years
(2/19)

 

When she found out she was pregnant again, it seemed like everyone had an opinion on what she should call her second (hopefully less evil) child.  None of the names seemed to fit.  She had written down a list of names from her home planet, but every one she put down was tied to a friend who had died, or a person she had killed as Qetesh, and well she would rather her child not be burdened with that history.

The names others offered her ranged from off the wall ( Elvendork and Egglebert ) to some that weren’t so bad except when she figured out the history.  While she appreciated the sentiment of naming her child after a fallen officer, it felt wrong to do so when she herself never met the woman and therefore did not have the the same level of grief.  Daniel objected to Janet strongly as well, which surprised Vala, but since she didn’t quite want to name her kid after a stranger, she said nothing.

When she found out she was having a boy, she was relieved.  Somehow a girl seemed like too much a repeat of Adria.  She had named her first born after her detested stepmother almost in spite, angry at what had happened to her, angry at what they had done to a child she had just started to realise she might actually want.  So much anger.  But she never managed to hate her daughter.  

Boy names were easier, although some names obviously were out. Naming it after her ex-husband seemed like a bad idea, and it wasn’t a common earth name, and this child was going to be residing on earth primarily.  Although that show with all the people dying seemed to made it bit more popular.

Daniel came up with the first name, deciding to name the child after his estranged Grandfather.  She didn’t mind the name Nick, and Daniel gave her full power over the middle name since they had gone with his choice for the first name.

So she opened books.  Some names had too religious of a meaning to use. Other names were too close to those names of her friends.  She considered using Samuel, naming it after Samantha, but decided to save that for when (or if) they had a daughter.

Eventually she settled on Parker.  It wasn’t as popular a name,  and she couldn’t connect it to anything bad as far as memories or connections went.  Although she didn’t tell Daniel untill the day their son was born, delighting in coming up with horrible middle names that would drive him nuts.  Her favorite was telling him she would use names from ancient epics like Gilgamesh.

 


 

 

could have given up a thousand times, in the past that was so easy
When the thought came to my mind, there was no convincing me
Plant my feet to face it all, side-by-side or a phone call
Living in tension with you still feels better, better than I've ever known
-- ”Vicious Love” by New Found Glory

(2/20)

As she drinks the spiked punch, and starts telling this stranger her life story, edited to sound more earth-like, she realises she doesn’t want to share it all with him.  She tells him about her estranged Husband.  Despite the fact that she didn’t love him in the way you expect a wife to feel for her husband, she did care for him.  And she knows he loved her, protected her all he could.

The problem was she wasn’t supposed to be there.  She just didn’t have it in her to be the happy housewife (though she found she didn’t mind it as much as she thought she would.), or the happy mother.  Dreams like that had ended for her years ago.  Ever since she was taken by Qetesh, she knew that the normal life was not one she would be able to have.  Tomin gave her a momentary glimpse though.  having dinner with a man who cared for you, and your opinon.  Someone who eagerly bought little toys for the baby even though they had barely known.

She wished he could have all that.  With a woman who cared for him in the way he should be cared about.  Tomin might be misaligned and following the bad guys, but he was a good man.

The part she left out was Daniel.  Daniel who she had somehow fallen for, who drove her crazy and made her want to toss priceless artifacts at his face on a regular basis.  Even though she had long ago gotten the point that Daniel was never going to be over his wife,  she still liked those moments when they toed the line between platonic banter and flirting.  

Even though she knew nothing would come of it no matter how much she might wish it to, she still liked being around him.  Liked seeing his face when he deciphered a new text, or find a link that had previously been hidden.  As much as he would deny it, Daniel had a love for treasure like herself.  She just tended to be more pratical and focus on the monetary or power value while he just loved learning about the past.   And part of her loved him for that.

But she had no idea how to explain this to Cam’s friend, who probably was listening with the hopes of seeing her home that night.  She was under no illusions that the poor man had a crush on her.  That was part of the reason she started dumping her relationship woes on his head.  To get him to realise she wasn’t worth the catch.

And ignore the fact that she wished Daniel had asked her to come with him rather than having to tag along with Cam, lovely man who he is.

 


 

 

I like her 'cause she's smart, headstrong and independent
She puts me in my place, but I don't know where I stand
And if only I could find the words or muster up the nerve to tell her
I'll never forget her and she'll always have a part of me
-- ”A Part Of Me” by Neck Deep

(2/22)

She confused the hell out of him.  The first time they met it had been easy to compartmentalize things.  Yes, she was attractive.  But she had taken his ship, thus she was a bad guy.  Her stories had been twisted up in half truths and obvious lies  (but then he had made his own omissions too).  The kiss hadn’t been too bad either had it not been for the headache later and the fact that she had just stolen his ship.  It had not been the prelude to a romance.

The second time they met, she had been an annoying pain in his side that wouldn’t go away.  But by the time she disappeared he found he missed her.  Missed her irreverence.  Missed the fact that despite only being interested in the financial or power value in anything she had actually been the first person in a long time who didn’t work for him that was interested in what he did for a living.

It was the third time they ran into each other, when he saved her from the Ori ship, when he realised that he would rather risk his life to save hers then see her hurt that he started to see the danger of things.   While it had been years since his wife’s death he hadn’t been ready to move on.  She challenged him, made him all too aware of where things stood, and it just made him think of all the ways it could go wrong.

Especially when she treated any allusion that she might feel the same confusion as he did as a joke.  She liked to make jokes a lot, he noticed.  She joked about everything.  IT was her coping mechanism and he wasn’t sure he cared to be the butt of most of her jokes.  

He had gotten used to most of it though by the time she had gotten kidnapped.  And oddly enough everyone saved the dating jokes till after Vala was safe and sound and it was half hearted.  He got looks from Cam and Sam that made him realise that perhaps his infatuation with Vala had become strong enough to be notiable.  

So he started to retract.  Started to wall himself up again, protect himself because she didn’t mean it.  There were still moments when they were alone when he thought she might, but she would say something, or do something flippant to break the moment and he was back to being confused.

He spent half of his time being pissed at her, because she pushed him like no other.  She got under his skin, knew exactly what buttons to push to get a reaction.  But he was starting to realise that he liked that.  He liked being confronted.  The only other person who regularly made him reassess himself was Jack, and Vala took a decidedly different turn when she did it.  

He wondered at times if maybe he should tell her.  Tell her how much she had come to mean to him, how much he treasured their friendship.  But he never did, too unsure of what she really felt in return.

It wasn’t as if he was unused to falling in love from afar.

Chapter Text

What makes us so right, is it the sound of her laugh
That look in her eyes, when do you decide
She is the dream that you seek, that force in your life
When you apologise no matter who was wrong
When you'd get on your knees if that would bring her home
-- ”What Makes A Man” by Westlife

(3/13) - Extended Version

The atmosphere was joyous as the team settled into the booth for lunch.  How they had managed to find a booth large enough to fit their party of seven surprised him.  But as he sat at the end, looking over his friends he found he didn’t really care.  

Jack sat across from him, his arm slung around Sam’s shoulders that just a year or two ago he wouldn’t allow himself to do in public.  Since Sam had returned from Atlantis, things had gone better for them.  With Jack’s retirement (for real this time, other than consultations) they were firmly outside of the same chain of command, making them more able to act like a normal couple.

Beside them was Teal’c, who was grinning and telling Carolyn Lam a story about one of their earlier missions.  Jack was taking a good natured ribbing at some ridiculous thing he had done, and he and Sam just listened in amusement, which Cam seemed to share, encouraging Teal’c.  Beside Daniel was Cassie, who had been in town and met them at the restaurant, determined to spend time with her family.

He couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander to the member of the team who wasn’t there.  Vala had stayed back on the planet, trying to help another survivor of being a Goa'uld host.  He was proud of her.  She had changed so much in the last couple of years.  But he also wished she had come along.  She would have enjoy’d Teal’cs stories.  Probably had a few of her own to corrupt Cassie with.

“So where’s Vala?”  Cassie asked turning to him.  “Did she have other plans?”

“She’s helping Ba’al’s host.”

“Must bring back so many bad memories for her,” Cassie stated, the look in her eyes telling her she was remembering her own bad memories.

“I think that might have been part of the reason.  Maybe to exorcise her demons as well.”

“I think we all know how hard that can be,” she answered, including the whole group.  “Although, on a happier but still related subject, when are you going to ask her out?”   She smirked, and Daniel swore that if he didn’t know better  that smile could have been Janet’s.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“C’Mon, Jackson,”  Cam said, grinning as he interrupted their conversation. He then realised the group had been paying attention.  “We all know you aren’t as opposed to the idea as you like to say.  Ask the girl out.   You at least owe her a redo on that first date.”

“First date?” Cassie asked, her tone holding interest and amusement.  “I sense a story.”  He allowed the group to tell the story of Vala and his “not a date” date, smiling to himself.  They didn’t have to know that he had already asked her.  The two of them had a movie date in a few days when they both had the day off.  He was going to introduce her to Indiana Jones, if only to hear her commentary.

He didn’t need today to remind him not to waste anymore time, although it did so.

Chapter Text

And I thought you'd feel the same as me, it's time that I come clean
But, but for now can we just both pretend to sleep
Sometimes the one you want is not the one you need
What goes around don't come around and you should know me by now
-- ”By Now” by Marianas Trench

(3/21)

“You have a date?”  

“Yes, I have a date,” she responded, her tone annoyed.  “It turns out there are men out there who are willing to be seen with me in a non-work related setting.”

“I didn’t mean...”  She was still annoyed at his shock that she had a date.  Did he think she would wait forever for him to wake up and realise she loved him?  It had been four years of being rejected, she could take a hint.  So she was moving on with her life and having dinner with the nice man in logistics.

“What did you mean then?”

“Are you sure this is wise.”  She took a deep breath, trying to reign in her temper, but his second guessing her both angered her and hurt.  Hadn’t they at least gotten to the point in their friendship where he trusted her decisions?  Or was it always going to be this way.  Always him wondering what she’s gaming for now.

“He’s a nice man, who actually works here, so he understands my work schedule, and wants to take me out for coffee and a movie.  What is so suspicious about that.”  He didn’t seem to have a response to that so she picked up the binders she had come for and left, trying to let go of the anger, and lingering sadness.

She couldn’t help but still love him a little bit, but sometimes you don’t get what you want.  Sometimes you had to go find what you needed in what else was out there.

 


 

 

Hold out your hand
And lean on me
I’ll be the one to
Make you smile again
-- ”Heartburn” by Architects

 (3/24)

It had been so long since he had been in this position, he wasn’t quite sure what to do.  Not with the mechanics - that he knew.  Just the aftermath.   He had dated, but he had never loved someone, not like his wife, in all the years in between.  And he found himself loving the woman beside him, though she drove him crazy half the time, and had a sense of humor he wasn’t quite sure of.  She seemed to fit him, like she was the missing puzzle piece beside him.  

The thought made him roll his eyes at the cheesiness.  She had curled up and fallen asleep beside him, her one arm across his chest and her head slowly numbing his arm.  He didn’t mind that much.  He played with her hair, watching her as she slept.  

It had taken him awhile to see the real her, the woman who wasn’t just playing with him, who wasn’t putting on an act.  And how he wished he had seen that earlier.  She made him happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long time.  And he hoped that he made her equally happy.  Her peacefulness, when he knew she ordinarily was a light sleeper, always expecting something to happen told him he might have achieved that.

She rolled over in her sleep, freeing his one arm but dragging the other along with her so that their hands were tucked together against her stomach and he was wrapped around her.  It wasn’t the most comfortable of positions, he didn’t know where to put his now staticy arm, but he didn’t move.

Maybe they could help each other heal a little.  Even though all the broken pieces couldn’t be made whole again, maybe they could at least help each other hold them together a little better.  He knew she was already helping him, and he hoped that their friendship, even before anything more happened had started to help her realise she had a home, a place where people cared for her.

They’d talk in the morning, he hoped.  They were both pretty good at avoiding talking about the big issues.  She’d use some euphemism or joke to distract and he’d find something to focus on.  But maybe now that they were moving forward they would talk, really talk.

 

Chapter Text

“Are you threatened by his brilliance?”

Donna ‘The West Wing’

(9/3)

 

Tomin didn’t like feeling like this. And it wasn’t just that he had lost the bedrock he had built his life upon.  It was more then that, though that was a major reason he felt unsettled.  It was also being once again around his wife.

He had long ago accepted the fact that his wife had different beliefs.  It didn’t stop him from loving her, or hoping she would come back and recieve Origin.  But the fact remained that they had been estranged and he didn’t realise how much a stranger that made her till now.

Watching her among the Tau’ri, among her friends, was like watching a different woman.  There were of course some similarities, he would like to think it hadn’t all been an illusion.  But she as different.  More confident, more passionate about what she was doing.  Vala had never been dispassionate, but there was something different about how she went about it here.

But it was watching her with him that caused Tomin the most discomfort.  Daniel Jackson was a brilliant man, and Tomin felt that under other circumstances the two of them might have gotten along.  But Daniel would always be the man who stole his wife away.  He used to think that it was a metaphor, as he had kidnapped her away, taken her home.  But as he watched them, saw how they acted together, saw between the lines they kept he knew that Daniel had stolen his wife in many ways.

He thought he should feel threatened, should wonder if this man would end his marriage.  But was hard to feel threatened when you already knew you lost the battle and had lost before you even knew you could have fought.

 


 

 

“Then he introduced us and I couldn’t stop talking, and you hid in the ladies toilet hoping I would go. Because you knew as well, didn’t you?”

Samson ‘The Deep’

(9/4)

 

Vala soon learned to make up a story about her and Daniel met.  While it was a humorous story in a way, it was probably not the right story to tell those not knowing of the stargate program.  For one thing it made them seem like they were in an abusive relationship.  It was also not the nice romantic story that Mrs. Grayson, Daniel’s neighbor from 4C wanted to hear.

Daniel it seemed had become the apartment complex’s grandchild.  While the apartment complex was designed for multiple age groups and family sizes, the people in his section seemed to have the average age of 82.  And they had all taken to telling her how it was so nice that that ‘boy’ had found himself a nice girl.

She was nice enough not to correct them on that score.

But she couldn’t tell them they met when she hijacked his ship, beat the crap out of each other, nearly got each other killed in a heist gone bad and then she had escaped, only to return.  Too many Stargate program only information, and it wasn’t as special to other people as it was to her.

However, for all the effort she put into finding a good enough romantic meeting, it ended up being Daniel who came up with the story.  It wasn’t all that romantic in her mind, not like the sweeping tales she read in Earth literature, but it was almost the truth.

They met at work, and argued their way into being in love with each other.

 


 

 

“You think you can intimidate me like you do these other people?”

Witt Shettfield ‘Class’

(9/5)

 

Adria felt annoyed.  She could charm armies into going into battles, impress planets into worship.  She had powers most beings could barely conceive of, but somehow this meant nothing to her mother.  She couldn’t charm, bewitch, or intimate her.  Nothing seemed to matter.  

All except protecting the non-believers.  Her mother wanted to protect people in general, and Adria supposed that was a good goal, but that could be achieved by origin.  All people needed to do was believe and they would be protected by the Ori.

There were a few that Vala’s plees seemed to be more personal on.  Those who traveled with her.  She wondered about them, feeling slight envy that they had earned her mother’s love when all Adria could get was disappointment and occasional loathing.

Humans were so fragile, it would be so easy to rid the universe of this group her mother clutched so closely.  But Adria found she wanted to know more, wanted to know what it was these unbelievers had that made all the powers the Ori had bestowed in her worth nothing in the eyes of her mother.

Maybe that was the key to bringing her mother to the light.

 


 

Chapter Text

“OK. That sounded darker than I intended.”

Fiona ‘About A Boy’

(9/23)

 

Parker hadn’t realised how many family members he’d have to impress to date Vala Mal Doran.  There was Cameron and Carolyn, with whom they had a double date.  Cameron seemed easy going enough, but it was clear he hadn’t really impressed the Air Force Colonel or his fiancee.  Now there was Murray, a man Vala simply called Muscles and he could see why.

And it didn’t help that the way the man said everything, from asking for salt to be passed to discussing various topics from Star Wars sounded threatening.  Parker felt like any moment the man might snap and do them all in.

Vala seemed oddly unaware of this.  Of course she was used to Murray’s strange seriousness and tone of voice.  And she wasn’t the one trying to impress upon the man that he was a worthy suitor.

But why did “I hope we see each other again, Parker Graceson” sound like he might find himself in a field tied to a pole.  

“See, I told you he’d like you!”  He looked at her with skepticism.  Vala must have different ideas of what constituted like.  But it was her next words that filled him with dread.  “Now you just have to meet Samantha, Jack and Daniel at the military ball next weekend.”


How does one impress a Air Force General, his wife who was almost another general and your girlfriend’s ex while trying to dance?

 

 


 

(I thought there had been more this month.  So this is a short chapter. )

Chapter Text

“You’re a good man. You have your reasons and… when you can you’ll share them with me. I’m sorry.”

Brennan ‘Bones’

(10/4)

 

She helped Daniel back to his bed.  The act of transforming back had left him tired, and the run up to the bridge hadn’t done him any favors.  The others were preparing the ship to go back, so for once it was just him and her.

She helped into his bed and then sat at the bottom, as she had done before.  He didn’t seem to mind, and the two of them sat in silence for awhile.

“I’m sorry.”  She said.

“For what?”  He opened his eyes to look at her in confusion.

“For not trusting you completely.”

“I understand Vala.”  He smiled weakly.  “You were right when you told me earlier that it was too big. I think I understood it then, really.”

“Did Merlin?”  SHe asked, wondering about the other entity that had taken over her Daniel’s brain.  “I could never tell sometimes when he or you were in control.”

“He brought a little arrogance to it, but we wouldn’t have been able to do what we did without him.”

“Oh, I’m not criticising, Darling.  I’m just wondering what went into all this.”  She wanted to know what had happened to him.  What had Adria done to make him a Prior, and how he had resisted her.  She couldn’t bring the questions out.  She did believe he’d tell her eventually.  Maybe not everything, but most of it.  “You should get some sleep.”

“You too.”  When she looked at him with a raised eyebrow he looked pointedly back at her.  “Jack told me you’ve been working pretty hard the last couple weeks trying to find me.”

“Isn’t that what teammates do?”  She said with a smile of her own, although she knew it was a little bit of a lie.  She hadn’t done this because he was a teammate, although she would for the others.  He had always been more to her.  And for a second as they watched each other it seemed they were on the same page.  She’d work through the night trying to find where he was, and he’d read every book he could find to find her.  And they recognized why in each other for a split second before he looked away, and denial settled in.

“I suppose it is.”

 


 

 

“The fact that you know that means you’re more of a giant twit than I thought.”

Fiona ‘About A Boy’

(10/7)

 

Jack walked up slowly beside her, not at all surprised when she whirled around, hurt and anger swirling in her eyes.

“How could you!”  She started, and he didn’t interrupt her.  He didn’t mean for her to get hurt, but perhaps he underestimated her feelings for the Senator’s son.  “I would have thought the people I call friends would support me and not try and ruin my relationship.”

“Its because we are your friends,” he finally defended himself.  “Vala, he wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Don't I get to decide that,” she threw back,  walking over and dropping down on the granite bench.  The ball could still be heard in the distance, and he saw the others in the doorway watching them.

“Yes, but we didn’t mean to usurp that.  We didn’t realise he would...”

“Be offended?  Why on earth would someone be offended by being grilled as if he was a criminal when his only crime apparently was to date me?”

“A man worthy of you could have handled it.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes.”  Of this Jack was certain.  He had stood up to Sara’s brothers when they had gotten together,  would have done the same thing if Sam’s family hadn’t approved of him.  When you love someone enough, you handle the grilling the family gave.  “You are part of our family, Vala.  I want to see you happy, they all do.  And you wouldn’t have been happy with that little snot.”

“He was a good man.”

“Perhaps.”  Jack didn’t really agree, but he didn’t think it was time for that battle.

“I just...I want to be happy, Jack.  I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“I know.”  And he did.  He knew how lonely it could get not having that person you came home to, that one person you faced the world with.  Or being able to see that person and know you couldn’t do anything.  “We want that for you too.  We just...have a standard for the men who want to date you.  Its a family thing.”

 


 

 

“You keep running from the schoolyard bully, he’ll keep chasing, but the moment you stop and punch him really hard in a sensitive spot, he’ll think twice about coming back again.”

William Adama ‘Battlestar Galactica’

(10/9)

It was never easy explaining that the Goa'uld were not gods. The easiest of course were those planets where the population was already skeptical.  Already posed to come to that conclusion themselves.  Those in the middle who were just starting to were harder, but somewhat doable.

It was the planets where the population was still hard core believers that were the worst.  Trying to ask them to stand up to the Goa'uld was difficult, almost impossible at times.   Jack had lost count of the amount of times they had almost died because the Goa’uld were tipped off by their devout followers.

But they kept trying.  They had to stand up to the Goa’uld. And slowly, as more and more Goauld fell, and it became easier to prove their fallibility, more and more people started to believe them.  But that didn’t mean it was easy.  

It's never easy.

 


 

 

“I’m going to tell her that you slept with me!”

Frances ‘The Deep’

(10/11)

 

Having never really had close friends like she did now, she was a bit surprised when the morning after she and Daniel finally got on the same page and admitted they loved each other and showed it to each other in multiple ways she felt the need to tell her best friend.

Well, secondary best friend, since if she was being honest, Daniel was her Best Friend Prime so to speak.  Not that she would ever tell him she phrased it that way in her head.  Some things were better kept to oneself.  Either way, Sam was her best friend who she wasn’t also in love with and the morning after with the best friend she was in love with meant a phone call to Sam.  Or a video call as Sam was on Hammond at the moment.

“Damn.”

“What?”  Vala responded confused.  She was a little hurt too.  She thought Sam would have been the one person who would be happy for her.

“NO!”  Sam was quick to reassure.  “Not about you, Vala. It's about time you both got your happily ever afters,”  Sam said with a smile to prove her honesty of her thoughts on the matter.  “I was just realising I lost the pool.”

“There’s a pool?”

“Not officially of course, but some of the long term service people have put together some betting books.  No one is allowed to put a lot on any one bet, and its kept friendly. “

“And there is one of me and Daniel?”

“Yes.”  Sam’s smile turned into a smirk.  “Jack actually choose a year ago.  Figured Daniel wouldn’t have been able to hold out this long.”

“Thank him for his belief in my seduction skills.”  Vala responded, and both of them laughed.  “What date did you choose?”  Vala found herself oddly not offended that her love life was being betted on.  ANother thing probably best to keep from Daniel.  Daniel probably would be less then happy about it.

“I figured it would happen on some big anniversary. “  Sam shrugged.  

“Well....you weren’t entirely wrong.”

 

Chapter Text

“I had trouble finding the kitchen again. I think I need a map?”

Kem ‘ER’

(10/15)

 

Jack liked Maps.  Maps were good.  They showed you the lay of the land, strategic points of entry, or where the nearest Dennys was.  They could help you navigate almost anything.  Anything except this twisted up relationship he had with his XO.

Something had changed while she had been gone.  For the most part she seemed like the same Sam, but there something missing and he wished he could have a map, or some sort of way of figuring out what had happened.  

It wasn’t until she introduced them to Pete that he finally understood.  What had changed is that Sam had given up on the future of them.  For so long they had been through this tug of war between their hearts and their passion for their careers.  Sam had finally let one side win.

He could use a map to figure out how to get out of this mire himself.   He kept imagining it like a battle plan, but it didn’t seem to work.  There were still moments when he would look at her and realise that no matter how much he tried he couldn’t give her up.

He was hopelessly lost.

 


 

 

“But now we are at the beginning of the end and that faint light at the end of our long tunnel is finally shining upon us.”

Tom Mason ‘Falling Skies’

(10/17)

 

She wasn’t surprised to find Daniel still awake when she got home, despite the late hour.  They hadn’t been living with each other long, but she had known him for far too long to think he wouldn’t bring work home with him despite no active threat.

“What are you reading,”  She asked when she got out of the bathroom having gotten ready for bed. They hadn’t said a word to each other since she got home.  Things had been strained since she found out she was pregnant.  Daniel wanted her to stay on Earth for awhile, and she wanted to keep traveling through the gate.  She wondered if it was just a Tauri tendency to be overly cautious or just a habit after so long at war.  She couldn’t blame him, but that didn’t mean she would agree with him.

“An ancient tablet found in Croatia,” he said holding up the photocopies he had in his hand.  “It mentions the Furlings.”

“I suppose that's SG-1’s next great adventure.  Find the other great race.”

“Well, with the Asgard gone, the Ancients not really wanting to be involved and the Nox preferring their solitude, it would be nice to see the Furlings take on the universe.”

She smiled.  “Plus it means more exploring for you.”

“Vala...”

“I know, you think it's too dangerous. You don’t need to argue your point any further, though I do love arguing with you darling,” she gave him a wink which just made him roll his eyes.  However she could see a hint of a smile at her tease.  “I’ve come up with a compromise.  I had alot of time to think today while with Nareem*.  I’m still going to go out on missions,” she held up a hand when he went to argue with her.  “But not first contact.  That way you can be assured I’m not walking into a firefight that can harm me or the baby, and I don’t become stir crazy shut up in that base of yours.”

“Yours too, you know.”  He sighed.  “I suppose that will have to do.”  She got in bed and leaned against him, looking at the papers.  “Besides, I’d have to teach a new assistant, and no one knows my system like you do.”

“No one knows your system Daniel.  I just take a educated guess.”

 

 

*I've since learned that Ba'al's host had a different name, but I left it in there as it was written that way.

 

 


 

“I didn’t see the purpose of the pain of pushing myself. You know especially in light of my years growing up. I thought my whole life was about what you can get out of the world.”

Edward Monclair ‘When Calls the Heart’

(10/18)

 

After twenty some years as Qetesh, and before that the life of a daughter of a con-man, Vala had learned that looking out for anyone other than yourself was a waste of time, because the only person you could trust is yourself.  She tried her best to remain aloof, not letting her feelings for any one person get too deep that she couldn’t move away and be fine.  Sex was just a tool, an enjoyable one but it meant little in the grand scheme of things.

Then she stumbled upon the Tauri.  Daniel, and she wasn’t sure how this happened, had somehow found a way to get under her skin.  To make her curious and want to find out more.  Enough that when she found the ancient treasure that was supposedly located on the human homeworld, she was happy that that would mean seeing him again.

But it wasn’t just Daniel who taught her to trust again.  They all did.  She found herself a family in SG-1, slowly going from trying to antagonize them all to trusting them to have her back.  To risking her life for them because she couldn’t imagine letting them risk theirs.  She started to relearn how to love again.

In Sam she found a sister, in Cam and Teal’c two brothers, one older one younger despite the fact that they both considered her younger.  She didn’t have the heart to tell them that she was  a decade or so older then Cam.  In Hank Landry she found a man who could make her want to make proud.  She wouldn’t quite put him in the father role, but she supposed he acted more like one then did her own.  

But Daniel she found she had the most desire to see proud of her.  She loved him, and she figured that early on when she realised how much she missed him while in the Ori Galaxy.  She found herself wanting more, and not being able to just untie what connected her to this place.  She wanted to stay, and she wanted to trust in a  happily ever after.

And these people were the first ones to give her the hope that she could.

 


 

 

"No. I think you're gonna love it."

Kelso 'Scrubs'

10/ 19

 

“You are going to love it,”  Sam told him as she handed a box to him.  He looked at her suspiciously, wondering what had put her in such a good mood.  Not that he was unwilling to acknowledge that being in the same place as one another could add to their moods, but this seemed more then that.

He shook the box lightly, hearing something rattle inside.  So it wasn’t socks.   Sam’s smirk just grew as if his attempts to guess what was in it before unwrapping it were amusing.  He raised an eyebrow and started to rip the wrapping paper off.

It wasn’t his birthday, their anniversary, her birthday (although they weren’t hobbits so why would she get him something for her own birthday), or any other important date that he could remember.  The box under the wrapping paper was plain white, not giving him a clue as to what was inside.  He lifted the lid and looked confused at the box’s contents.

“Ah, Sam,”  He said, holding up the little fisher jacket.  “This isn’t going to fit me.”

“Wasn’t meant for you.”

“Yet you gave it to me.”  Her smile just grew.  He picked up the other item in the box, what must have rattled around. A  Fischer-Price Fishing pole.  Like one of those you gave kids who were too young to.. He looked at her suddenly and her grin got bigger.

“Is this what I think it is?”

“I figure you’ll finally get that fishing buddy you’ve always wanted.”  He rushed around the counter and grabbed her up, hugging her tight.  He had never imagined he would have a chance to be a father again,  and the fact that Sam was giving him that chance meant the world to him.

“When did you find out,” He asked as he let her go.  She had been on the Hammond for the last month making a trip to check out Atlantis’ new home in the Pegasus galaxy.

“A few weeks ago.  Trust me, it was hard keeping this a secret, but I felt this was better in person.  I take your happy.”

“Am I happy?”  He rolled his eyes.  “I don’t think there is a word for what I am feeling right now.”

“Me too,” She said, unable to stop smiling herself.  

Chapter Text

“To Victory. May it be swift. May it be complete and may it be forever.”

Col. Dan Weaver ‘Falling Skies’

(10/22)

 

It took awhile to set in.  That their two major foes in the last decade were at a point that they no longer had to worry about them.  The Goa'uld were down to a few of the minor system lords, but no one powerful enough to really be a threat.  Without the Jaffa, their power had diminished greatly.  The Ori were dead,  and the Orici occupied by Ganos Lal.

He could only pray that this time they would be able to rest.  Be able to explore the great galaxy around them.  HE was tired of wondering if his trip through the gate would be his last.  So he hoped that this victory was the final one.

But he wasn't sure what to do with himself now.  After all, the last decade of his life had been dedicated to fighting one group or another to protect his family, and the planet.  But here he was at the end of it all, and there was nothing to fight.

He could still research, still find new things to discover.  After all, the universe was large.  He wasn’t worried about job security.  But it did dawn on him that on a more personal level, he’d have more time.  There was no war, so things wouldn’t be as immediate a concern. He could go home at a normal time, could choose his projects if he wanted rather than being super focused on one thing or another.  Not that he wouldn’t still be super focused, but there wasn’t any outside force pushing him.

It also made him consider things he had pushed aside over the last decade.  Like moving on from his wife.  When he had come back after his ascension the first time, it was like loving and losing her all over again.  The grief had been fresh.  And while he still mourned his wife, he felt he could finally maybe consider finding someone to spend his life with.

If the image of a certain former-pirate popped up often enough when he thought about the idea, he wasn’t about to say.  

 


 

 

“I hate small talk. Let’s drink in silence.”

Rosa ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’

10/23

The trip back to the base had been silent. At first it had been comfortable.  Except after awhile he realised that he missed her talkativeness.  Usually when she was this quiet something was wrong.  He glanced over at her when he came to a red light and took her in.

She had her head resting against the headrest, eyes closed, but a soft smile on her face.  She didn’t look upset.  Maybe a little tired, but otherwise she looked content.  

“Daniel, the light’s green,”  she said, startling him out of his fixation.  He looked forward and started to drive, grateful that at this time of night the roads were less used.

When they arrived at the base, Daniel parked the car but didn’t get out of it right away.

“I suppose,” she started, interrupting their silence again, “that this would be the point I’d ask you in for a drink.”  There was amusement in her voice but something told him not to make light of her request.  It took him a second to realise she was talking about the cliche in romantic comedies of asking the date in for coffee as a code for other things.

“And I suppose,” he said after a while.  “I could do with some coffee”.  He smiled at her and waited as she figured out what he was saying.

“Really?”

“Really.”

For once he didn’t need that many words to know what she was saying.

 


 

 

“That’s how I am. I like to see the best in everyone and everything.”

Angela ‘Pobol y Cwm’

(10/26)

 

Jack had known Daniel for over a decade at this point, so he was used to Daniel seeing the good in everyone.  It used to bother him in the early years how often Daniel would walk right into dangerous situations expecting talking to overrule violence in almost every situation.  Sometimes he was right, but he was wrong often enough that Jack’s first option was still to tighten the grip on his weapon.

So it didn’t surprise him that Daniel had decided to trust the woman who had decided to beat him up and steal his ship and let her through the gate.  And it didn’t quite surprise him when that turned and bit Daniel in the ass.  It was actually amusing though, since it wasn’t completely life threatening this time.  Landry kept him updated, and his calls with Daniel usually included a rant or two about the woman who was now stuck staying within a 100 yard radius.

What had surprised him was Daniel’s reaction when the connection was broken and Vala was no longer in their lives.  Almost like he was disappointed and not just because words hadn’t solved the problem.  Like he missed her .  It had been so long since Daniel had seemed actively interested in someone, it was surprising to see.  But Jack had no doubt that Daniel didn’t recognize it.  Or if he did, that he was in denial.  After all, a sassy spice pirate with no filter didn’t seem to be the textbook match for a wordy death defying archeologist.  

Jack hoped she would make it back.  Considering he had seen people come back from the dead, he felt he could hope a little.  Because she made Daniel alive again.  For the last year or so,  Daniel had started to seem bored, like he had reached the end of his interest.  But Vala had brought that back, even if it was only an interest to separate them.

Plus it was oh so fun to watch her interact with the unsuspecting.

 


 

 

“What’s bizarre? I mean we’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.”

Andy  ‘The Breakfast Club’

(10/27)

 

Vala laughed out loud.

“It's not that funny,”  Daniel stated, unamused that his statement about wanting a normal life apparently was hilarious to her.

“Oh, Darling, it's not wanting it that is hilarious, is that you still think of yourself as normal.”

“And what is your baseline for comparison.”

“No one where is ‘normal’.”  She continued.  “In fact I’d say there is no such thing as normal, but for the sake of argument we shall pretend there is.  A normal person would have burried that gate long ago when he realised aliens were out to kill him through it.  Instead a group of people looked at it and said “Hmm...I wonder if it can do this.”  and experimented.  Sam isn’t normal, but that’s okay.  She sees outside the box that your normal person would have.”

“Teal’c isn’t a normal Jaffa.  He broke out of his training, broke out of the belief system put into him for so long and fought his way out.  The Jaffa needed someone to be abnormal so they could become free.  Cameron looks at everything as “ohhh shiney,” and then tries to get everyone else to see the shiney.  He’s optimistic when your so-called normal person wouldn’t be.”

“And me?”

“You looked at the pyramids and saw aliens, and then went to try to prove it.  If you really wanted a normal life, you wouldn’t have gone through that stargate in the first place.”

“And what about you?”

Vala smiled  “Well, that Darling is obvious.  I’m too awesome to be normal.”
  

Chapter Text

Forget the who, the what, the when, the question here is why

You set the bar so high and then you dropped it for this guy

You’re into insincerity, it’s scary that I wonder

Perhaps the bar was raised so high that he just walked right under

"Legs" by Jer Coons

(4/2)

 

Cameron watched the pair as they sat a few rows in front of him and Carolyn.  He wasn’t sure what to think about Vala’s new boyfriend. He knew he had no right to a say in her love life, but as someone who saw her as a little sister (or maybe it was older sister...how long was she a host anyway?) he felt the same need to reign judgement on the suitors.  And Parker Graceson did not make muster.

He was a senator’s son, who had met Vala when she and Jackson had been in DC for an informal briefing on a new technology that SG-8 had brought in a few months ago that the two had cracked and got operational.  Apparently he had been instantly smitten with her and made up a reason to travel to Colorado to see her.

Supposively they were on a double date, although it hadn’t been Cameron’s idea.  It had been Carolyn’s.  Apparently it was to make it less intimate and more comfortable for Vala.  He didn’t believe that one bit.  Carolyn was equally unsure about this man and wanted to see how he acted around her.

It was just odd though.  For years Vala had been pretty much single minded in her pursuit of Daniel Jackson.  Several offers had been made, as she was an attractive woman with a lot of charm that could win you over if you hadn’t met her trying to bind herself to your co-worker.  But she had ignored all of them and instead had spent most of her energy trying to get to Daniel.

And then six months ago that stopped.  And Cameron didn’t understand her choices in dates now.  It's like she had realised she couldn’t have Daniel, but either she dropped her high expectations or just allowed people to walk right under them in her pursuit of trying to find someone to be with.

Parker Graceson better treat her right.  Vala had several big brothers and sisters ready to take him out if he didn’t.

 


 

 

No I’m not bulletproof but

See I can take your cheap shots coz I’ve been through a whole lot more

And know a good thing

And I’m not letting you go, there’s so much that they don’t know

-"I Got You" by What's Eating Gilbert

(4/5)

 

There were times she didn’t even understand it.  When the man went from the asshole who didn’t think women were prepared for the Stargate to being a man she couldn’t imagine not loving.   Most of the time she barely noticed it, it was a background feeling almost a normal thing.  Then something would happen and her heart would clench with the realization of how much she did love him.  And how very very stupid that was.

Most of the time they were good.  They kept it to themselves.  Everyone on base just thought they were friends.  Which they were, and they were colleagues.  And most of the time they were only that.  But every once and awhile, after a particularly long day, or a near escape that left one or both of them in tatters they broke down.

Not even Daniel and Teal’c knew about the nights they would find themselves together, breaking the rules they had adhered to so much in the past.  The first time they broke the rules was after they came home having killed Hathor. Reeling from thinking each was dead, or that Jack was a host, they had found themselves back at her house. They knew it was a one time thing, that they couldn’t be together, but they didn’t care that night.  And waking up to find him wrapped around her had helped a long way in healing her.

It didn’t happen often.  In fact it had only happened once since then.  And she knew it wouldn’t happen tonight.  No after watching him kiss the other woman who was her.  To know in another reality she had him at all times, not as a reluctant secret.  They had been married, and open about how much they cared for each other.

She wondered if he thought of her when he kissed the other Samantha Carter, or if it mattered.  And her heart broke a little because while it shouldn’t matter, it did to her.  She turned away from the portal pretended she didn’t see.

She didn’t want to.


 

 

If you believe it’s in my soul

I’d say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I’m trying to let you know

That I’m better off on my own

"Pieces" by Sum 41

(4/6)

 

Sam knew as she walked out of Jonas’ apartment that this was the end.  Something had changed the man she loved, she no longer recognized him.  She had tried for so long to make things work, to keep going in this relationship.

But she had come to the conclusion that it wasn’t.  That it would be better for the both of them if she left, if she ended this.  It might be a little awkward at work for awhile, but she was sure that Jonas would be okay in the end.

What upset her was that she seemed almost more upset about losing that idea of a relationship, the idea of someone to come home to, to love more then the man himself. That convinced her she was doing the right thing.  The idea shouldn’t be more than the reality.

 


 

 

And as I’ve aged the only thing I think has changed

Is that the demons have moved from under my bed

Into the inner depths of my head

I can’t escape the ugly things my mind creates

I speculate that they’ll stay with me ‘til the grave

"Can't Save Myself" by As It is

 

 

(4/7)

 

After Athena, Vala couldn’t suppress the memories anymore.  They filtered through.  On one hand they gave the team some intel about Goa'uld inner structure that firmed up some things. She had knowledge of the lesser lords, the ones that didn’t tend to fight the Tauri, leaving that to the ever falling Major System lords.

But then, it also made her remember the nightmares.  Watching her own hands kill people she loved.  Qetesh may not have been as cruel as Apophis or Kronos, but she was not an angel either.  She tortured and abused right along with the others.  And Vala had years of memories.

She didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want those demons that still resided in her memory to inflict the pain on others.  She wanted to protect them from knowing what she had been made to do.  She knew, intellectually, she was not at fault, but it didn’t take away the guilt as the memories rushed over her.

She wished there was a way to take the memories away like they had the symbiote.  But she was stuck with them, stuck with living in the aftermath of them.  She could only hope that one day they’d fade away.

 

Chapter Text

If I could just get by just for one more night I would fight to set you free

And when you've lost all hope you may never know just how great your life could be

But I'm lost in the moment please tell me how I can't find the reason to say what I'll say

My life was complete when I found you

“When I Found You” by Amber Pacific

(4/9)

 

Daniel had never been neutral about Vala.  From the day they met his feelings about her had run the gamut but had never stayed in neutral. But as he sat next to her, bone tired and ready to go home, he realised that she had jumpstarted his life.

She annoyed him, drove him insane at times, but he never felt bored with her around.  She challenged him in a way people had stopped doing.  He had become a sort of Legendary figure in the SGC.  The Man who was on the Primary team that saved the world and who died and came back twice.  People were more in awe of him then ready to challenge his ideas.  Even his friends tended to just assume he was right.

And he often was, but it was nice to have someone who didn’t tune him out and then agree at the end.  Vala had brought out the teacher in him, she listened and seemed actually interested in what he had to say, even if it was mostly to hear him say it.

And he remembered that moment back in Adria’s chambers where they had looked at each other and known exactly what the other was saying.  There was a lot to be said for that.

She curled up into him on the bench they sat on, despite the presence of her ex-husband.  They were both exhausted, covered in dried blood and dirt, but the relief of knowing it was over, that they were standing, and still standing together seemed to be what he needed right then.

He wondered if there was a way to tell her how much she meant to him, that he had finally gotten to the point where he knew he could trust her not to break his heart.  Gotten to the point he could see himself moving on, and it was with her he wanted to do that.  He didn’t say anything, just wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer before laying his head on top of hers.

 


 

 

I got all I need when I got you and I

I look around me and see a sweet life

I’m stuck in the dark but you’re my flashlight

You’re getting me, getting me through the night

 

“Flashlight” by Jessie J

(4/10)

 

His head hurt. There were so many sensations and memories that it was trying to organize into coherency that it couldn’t really tell what was him and what was Merlin.  His friends morphed back and forth between the people he knew and the people Merlin did.  It was odd some of the similarities.  Cam really did look like percival, had his attitude too.  He saw the others within Merlin’s knights.  

But Vala stood out to him.  The one beacon that kept him centered.  He knew her and she was purely his. For that he was glad for not only did it give him something to center on, he didn’t want to share her.  He wasn’t sure when his feelings started to change, but Vala was slowly sneaking into his heart, wrapping him up in her.

He held his hand up to her face, making sure she was real, and not some illusion to keep sane.  She was and the look she gave him was full of worry and love and for a moment he thought there was a chance.  That he could survive this and they could move on together.  That they had a future.

But Merlin started taking over again, trying to urge him to complete the process. Still, he could feel the presence of her around him, making him feel safe amongst all the changes going on in his head.

She wouldn’t leave him.

 


 

 

There’s no way I’m gonna go down this road again

It cuts to the bone can I let it win

It’s our call to return from where we came

Because life could be so good if we open our hearts

“We Are The Gods” by Fort Hope

(04/16)

 

Daniel wasn’t completely oblivious.  He knew most of the base thought he and Vala were seeing each other.  Hell, even those he called his closest friends seemed to assume it was an inevitable event.  He knew he had feelings for her, feelings that had developed over the last three years he had known her.

But he couldn’t set his doubts aside.  Couldn’t put himself out there just to learn she was just playing around with him.  That the only reason she was so focused on him was because he had been the one who didn’t fall for her charm.  Or at least didn’t actively showcase the fact.  Because he had fallen for her.

But walking back to the Stargate, he wondered if he was being an idiot and not grabbing what he wanted.  Was it really that likely that she had been running a 2 and a half year con to just fling him aside.  He knew her more than anyone else, and she knew more about him then he actually felt comfortable with at times.

He turned back at the last minute watching as she continued to walk towards Ba’al’s last host,  and made a promise to himself.  When she got back he would be done with the stalling, with the denial.  He’d admit to her what he felt for her.

Maybe he’d get lucky for once and get that happy ending everyone was looking for.

 


 

I want to start by letting you know this

Because of you my life has a purpose

You helped me be who I am today

I see myself in every word you say

Sometimes it feels like nobody gets me

Trapped in a world where everyone hates me

There’s so much that I’m going through

I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you

This Song Saved My Life by Simple Plan

(4/17)

 

It was odd for Vala, knowing she had a family she could count on. One that would have her back, support her if she needed.  A family she would do the same for.  But SG-1 and those at the SGC had wormed their way into her heart, and their quiet acceptance had made it possible for her to relax, to become a person she wanted to be.

Cameron had become the brother she never knew she wanted. Sure, at first things had been strained between them, but even then there had been a level of consideration she hadn’t expected.  And once she had returned from the Ori Galaxy, their friendship had solidified into something she wouldn’t give up for the world.   She knew out of them all he’d be the one to tell her the hard truths, and he’d also be the one standing there helping her deal with said truths.

Teal’c was an ally, even before she had been transported away. She knew that parts of him had been quite annoyed with her.  After all she had put his good friend in danger but she also knew that parts of him were highly amused by her contribution to the team.  And he was also a mentor in developing an understanding of Tauri culture, and understanding the people around her.

Samantha had become her sister. Their relationship never had time to develop pre-Supergate, but afterwards they had quickly become friends.  They bonded over being the girls on the team as well as their experiences being blended with a symbiote (hers better than Vala’s, but they never focused on that), and their knowledge of Goa'uld technology.

She wasn’t sure where to put The three generals in her life in this family metaphor.  Hammond had only met her a few times, but he had always been a good person to go for advice.  Landry had been a father figure in some ways, perhaps compensating for his lack of a relationship with his own daughter.  Jack was Daniel’s closest thing to a brother, and shared her sense of humor, so he was always a face she liked to see.

And then there was Daniel.  The man who had started her on this path by making her too curious for her own good about the Tauri archaeologist who had gotten the best of her (not that she’d ever admit that).  The attraction had always been there, but the deep abiding love she now felt for him had developed over the years without her really knowing. Till she almost could convince herself that it had always been that way.  He was the one who believed in her, made it possible for her to stay, for her to grow comfortable and to call this strange new world home.

She was grateful for them all.

Chapter Text

Hold on if you feel like letting go

Hold on it gets better than you know

Don’t stop looking, you’re one step closer

Don’t stop searching, it’s not over, hold on

Hold On by Good Charlotte

(4/19)

 

He wanted to tell her it would be okay.  That they’d eventually wake up one morning and not be hit with the overwhelming grief they were faced with right now. But he didn’t know if that was true.  Right now it felt like there was nothing else but him, her and the grief that held them down.  All he could was hold her as she sobbed,  allowing himself to cry with her.

It was amazing, really, how quick something could go from one of the greatest events of your life to the worst thing. Knowing that there was nothing they could have done, that it had just happened, didn’t help the situation.  He wished it did.  

They had only known a few days.  They had been cheerfully waiting to tell the others, excited to see their faces when they told them.  Holding on to the memories of those happy few days was really the only thing that was getting him through this.  Allowing him to be there for her as she crashed in sorrow.

He doubted they would try again, but he still had hope that one day they would be able to talk about the idea without the stab of pain that came with remembering what they almost had.  

 

 

 


 

 

It’s down to me and you
In this cold and empty room
Forgotten what we’re dying for
Just tell me what to change
Just tell me what to say
‘Cause I can’t feel it anymore
“Dust & Gold” by Arrows to Athens

(4/20)

 

The room was lit around the bottom of the walls, almost accent lighting keeping it relatively dark.  There were no windows, though he could tell there was some sort of ventilation as the air hadn’t gone stale yet.  But there were no windows, no doors,just solid doors and somewhere a air circulation system Jack just couldn’t find.

He should have known better.  He had wanted one last mission through the gate before retirement - actual retirement.  When had gate travel ever been simple for him.  It rarely ended well, and this trip was no exception.

Sam sat on the floor, shivering.  The room was chilled, but she still shivered despite his jacket overtop of hers.  She had a fever, and a trail of blood from the crown of her head.

He quickly turned his thoughts back to finding a way out of there.  He didn’t want to think about the woman he loved being sick, possibly dying if they didn’t get out of there.  This was supposed to be a romantic moment for them.  He was retiring for godsake, he had bought a ring, was going to propose on another planet, one Daniel had assured him had been checked, double checked and triple checked that it had no one on it.  It was just a planet full of wild flower gardens, and the Gate was surrounded by natural beauty including a waterfall.

He had just been about to propose when Sam had leaned against a wall in the temple that Daniel had gone into to study and give them a minute alone.  Next he knew they were in this fridge  of a cell, with no way out.  Sam at least had a concussion, if nothing else, and somehow an infection, though he didn’t know where.

“Sir -”

“Sam.”  

“Sorry...Jack.”  He turned to look at her. “Should of have read before I leaned.”

“It's not your fault, Sam.”  It still almost seemed weird to be able to call her that. That they finally might be able to push aside the ranks and be together.  Be Jack and Sam.

Daniel and Mitchell better come soon and free them because if he died on this planet he was going to come back and haunt their asses.

 


 

 

Feeling worthless, self-destruction
Try to take control of this
Find a purpose, reconstruction
Write it somewhere it will stick
And the stars are hiding now
But There’s something out there still
“To Write Love” by Helio

(4/22)



There were times she felt particularly useless.  She wasn’t a physicist like Sam, finding new ways to save the planet through science and sheer determination.  She wasn’t a warrior like Teal’c, or a leader like Cameron, though she would never ever admit that to him.  She was just Vala, a former host to a so-called god, a part time thief and more recently Daniel Jackson’s baggage.

She tried her best to help.  She knew some of the languages, and thanks to her “upgrades” from being a host, she took to them much easier others.  Being Daniel’s assistant had fit her.  Treasure hunting wasn’t all the different from what Daniel did, though his treasure was knowledge and not pretty things.

Except now Daniel was gone, and there were no tablets to be translated that would bring him back.  In fact, not many people came to her to do the work Daniel used to do.  It was as if none of them realised she could do any of it at all.

Occasionally she helped Bill Lee, who was ever curious about how her naquadah enhanced blood interacted with Goa'uld tech.  But other then that she had a lot of time on her hands to focus on the fact that he wasn’t there.

When she had work, she could distract herself from the grief inside at leaving him behind.  At the realization that her little crush, which up to now had been fun to inflict on him, had blown up into a full love, without her conscious permission to do so.  Daniel had become a part of her and she hadn’t noticed till he got ripped out, possibly forever.

If only she had more to do to keep her busy, to keep her from wondering where he was, if he was okay, if Adria had hurt him.  He was out there in the universe, so far away and she had no clue how to get to him.  How to find him and tell him she loved him.  

 


 

She can't keep a secret for more than an hour
She runs on 100 proof attitude power
And the more she ignores me the more I adore her
What can I do, I'd do anything for her
“Just The Girl” by The Click Five

(4/24)

 

“Teal’c, I believe the man protests too much.”  Jack stated, leaning back in his chair with a grin.

“Indeed, O’Neill.  He protests more than necessary.”  Jack’s grin grew at Teal'c's reply, knowing that the Jaffa was finding his humorous.  

“What are you two on about?”  Daniel asked, clearly confused.

“Jackson, you have been ranting about Vala for the last hour.  And hour we should have been watching the game while the girls have their girly time down by the lake.”  Cameron interjected. “No man who gets that riled up by a woman is indifferent to her.”

“I think he loves her.”

“I do not.”  Daniel glared at Jack.  “And say that a bit louder, give her some ideas.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure she has all the ideas, Daniel.  You are just too busy ignoring your own ideas to see that.”  Jack stated, which earned him a muffled laugh from Cameron and an amused eyebrow raise from Teal’c.  “And don’t deny you have ideas.  A man would have to be blind not to know you have ideas.”

“Jackson gets the most testy when he’s closer to giving in, I think,”  Cameron said with a smirk of his own.  “And he hardly ever corrects people when they call her his girlfriend anymore.”

“I’m not giving in.  There is nothing to give into.”

“Protesting again, Daniel.”

“Yes, Protesting ignorance of the facts.”

“The fact that she’s perfect for you,”  Jack answered.

“The fact that she’s been gaga for you for years.”  Cameron added.

“Or perhaps the fact that the two of you argue like a married couple,”  Jack continued, counting on his fingers.”

“I do not believe it us in ignorance, DanielJackson, but yourself.”

“Grr.”  Was Daniel’s only reply, throwing his hands up in the air, too annoyed to argue any longer.

But the other three men just shared a look.  They all knew they were right.  And it was time to make Daniel see reason.

 

Chapter Text

Call it in the air heads or tails
Heads we go to London and try to save the Queen
Tails we go to Paris and try our hand in romance
I need a chance to show you that I'll take you anywhere
So call it in the air
“Heads/Tails” by Hotspur

(4/26)

 

Daniel didn’t tell anyone, but sometimes he fantasized about leaving the SGC.  Taking a long road trip, or going to an actual dig.  Just so he could pretend for a few weeks, maybe a few months that he was just an ordinary human being living an ordinary life.

He let the dream fester in some ways, giving it more detail.  The road trip seemed like a better idea.  A dig would only remind him of the ones he did on other planets.  A road trip would be nice.  Visit all the libraries he could, maybe some historical sites.

He started to imagine himself in a convertible, the top down, radio playing some rock music from his college days, Vala in the passenger seat.  Her hair up scarf like she was one of those ladies from old 50s movies.  Maybe wearing that outfit Cam send him a picture of when she was at his reunion and decided to play sexy Dorothy.  He really didn’t know if he should be mad or grateful to Cam for that image.

Maybe he’d let her choose some of the locations. But he found himself over time liking the idea of just having some alone time with as much as the idea of playing normal for a few weeks.

But he surprised even himself when one day he walked into the office and asked if she wanted to go.  The bright smile that came to her face proved it all worth the trouble it would take to get the time off, and get permission to take Vala out on an extended trip.  She was still a “probationary” citizen.  It was worth the effort to get that black convertible, and to design a trip that took them to at least one beach, and a few other places that were more her liking then his.

And telling her he loved her while they were driving under the stars and hearing her say it was better than the imagined trip.

 


 

 

Please keep your hands down and stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me the choice
It's a simple suggestion can't you give me some time
So just say yes or no why can't you shoulder the blame
'Cause both my shoulders are heavy from the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said, oh my god
-- ”How To Be Dead” by Snow Patrol

 

Vala glared at him through her tears.  His words had cut through her, hitting their target each and every time.  Her emotions swirled together, a lot of sadness, hurt but quite a bit of anger.  He had turned away from her, as if he couldn’t stand to look at her anymore.

“You don’t get to do that.”  She finally said, which made him turn around looking at her as if he hadn’t expected that comeback.  “You don’t get to dictate what I feel.”

“Vala..."

“No.  You said your piece, now it's time for you to listen.”  He seems surprised at the force of his words but he remained silent.  “Perhaps in the beginning, the whole flirting thing was a game.  It stopped being a game a long time ago.  Hell, it was barely there at all. And I thought you knew me well enough to know that, but I guess I was wrong.  I was wrong about a lot of things apparently.

“I love you Daniel.  Have for awhile now. But thank you for being so gentle in letting me down.  I’m sorry to inflict my feelings on you when they were unwanted.”  She grabbed her jacket.  “If you’ll excuse me, I believe Sam said something about some Goa'uld tech in her lab she wanted me to look at.”  She walked out of the room, not looking at him, not wanting to see him look at her in relief that she was leaving.  She paused in the doorway.

“Don’t worry, I won’t push my feelings on you again.  I got the message.”  She walked out of the room then, nodding to Jack when she passed him going towards Daniel’s office.

She waited till she made it to her own room to let the tears fall.

 


 

Chapter Text

I am vindicated, I am selfish, I am wrong

I am right, I swear I’m right, swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed but I am cleaning up so well

I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

"Vindicated" by Dashboard Confessional

(5/6)

 

Rodney stared out into the water that surrounded the City.  They had returned to the pegasus galaxy only a month ago, but it already felt more like home then San Francisco bay did, despite the fact that technically that was home.  But after six years, this had become home.  It was where he had finally found a place that fit.  

“Hello, Elizabeth,”  He said as he looked up at the sky.  Today was the anniversary of her “death”, so it seemed fitting to tell her how things were going.  She was out there somewhere, and he tried his best not to think of the replicated form she had taken laying in the cold of space.  He prefered to think she was still watching them from afar.

“We all miss you, but we are getting by.  Woolsey is growing on us.  He’s no you, couldn’t come close, but he’s better then we expected.”  He closed his eyes and he could almost see her standing there beside him, a smile gracing her lips.  He missed her.  She had been one of his best friends, perhaps the first person to accept him for who he was, bad social graces and all, and didn’t turn away.  And while he would only probably admit this to his phantom of her and maybe Jennifer if she asked, he had loved her far more then that for awhile.

“Torren is growing big.  John tells him about you.  You’d be proud of me, I actually managed to spend a few hours with the kid and didn’t leave him alone or accidently get distracted by an experiment.  I’m getting better.”  He knew he had changed over the years.  As he became more comfortable with those around him the sarcastic asshole that he tended to be had been diluted somewhat.  He was still a jerk at times, but Elizabeth would be proud at how few moments of that popped out.

“Which is good I guess, considering.”  He could almost see her raise an eyebrow as if saying Considering what?  “Jenn’s pregnant. We aren’t overjoyed, but at the same time it oddly feels right.”  And that was something he’d also never admit to anyone outside the two women he had loved.  Elizabeth would have known without him saying that he had trouble taking the information in and dealing with the changes to come.  Jennifer had demanded his honesty and he had been relieved when she hadn’t rejected it but shared her own doubts.

They were going to muddle through.  And Elizabeth was part of the reason he felt he could.  The man who had met her in Colorado wouldn’t have been able to handle these changes.  It was through her friendship, and the others that supported him these last six years and pushed back at him when he needed it that he could.

“We are thinking that if its a girl, we might name her Elizabeth.”

 


 

 

Why don’t you love me the way that I do?

Why don’t you need me the way I need you?

How many years have I wasted, hoping you’ll change when

You never will, you’re reeling me in and letting me go

Let Me Go - Startisan

(5/24)

 

She watched him from her perch on the lab table.  A forgotten paper lay in her lap, rolled up in her hand as she watched him.  It hit her with a stunning blow that she had been doing this for three years now.  Three years of working beside him, working with him, even starting her own lines of study, and she had done most of it in hopes that he’d turn around and start loving her back.  Start seeing her as worthy of his affection.

She didn’t believe he was indifferent.  Daniel was rarely indifferent.  He liked her, complimented her from to time, even flirted occasionally.  But the truth was he didn’t love her.  Not like she loved him.  He didn’t really see her, just some odd image in his head of who she was and he wasn’t that willing to change his mind on that.

So she stood up, placed the paper on the stack of materials she called her own, which she then gathered and left the office.  She needed to find her own space, starting making a name for herself with no connection to him.  She needed to start doing things for her own sense of worth, and not hope that he might suddenly get a clue and realise she was trying to impress him this whole time.

She needed to move on, no matter how much the idea broke her heart.  Because right now she still could.  Who knew if she would be able to if she let it go on much longer.

The saddest bit of the whole thing is that it took him a whole week to notice.

Chapter Text

You steal the life from me, shake all that I believe
But I can’t leave you no, I’ll always need you so
I love you more than words, it’s more than you deserve
You’re stringing me along, like grabbing onto fog
But all I catch is mist, what little of you sticks
Then you dry up and you’re gone, and I’m again alone
And on and on it goes, forever it unfolds
We’re fated I suppose to always play these roles
-- “Let Me Go” by Startisan

(6/11)

There were times where Sam watched Daniel and Vala and wanted to scream in frustration.  She loved them both.  Daniel had long become her second brother, and Vala had eventually wormed her way into being a sister.  But they were frustratingly stuck in some kind of limbo.

Daniel never talked about it.  But then they had long known to steer clear of talking about each other’s love life.  Especially since hers seemed to include Jack even if most of the time he was lingering in the shadows rather than the actual part of the love life.  Still, It was awkward to talk about it when they were mutual friends the three of them.

Vala on the other hand had, during a night where the wine had flowed freely, had expressed her sadness about the relationship.  And listening to her, Sam couldn’t help but feel sad herself.  She believed that Vala was truly interested in Daniel.  For all her play on words, and playful flirting with all those around her, Vala had always had a particular interest in Daniel.  She had even come up with a way to come and see him.  Sure, the artifact needed Daniel to translate but Vala had seemed almost more interested in Daniel then the treasure.  And Vala loved her treasure.

And it was very clear these days that whatever warm feelings the woman had towards her former adversary, they had bloomed into something more.  Vala loved Daniel, although she wouldn’t say so.  She would make it sound so simple, just wanting him, but Sam knew her better then Vala probably thought she did.  Vala was in love with Daniel.

Whether Daniel felt the same was yet to be seen, but both she and Cameron shared the opinion that it was more Daniel wasn’t allowing himself to feel anything more deeply for the woman then that he didn’t feel anything.  Sam supposed she understood.  He had lost his wife in an tragic and traumatizing way.  There was no easy way to move on from that.  But it had been seven years, and she couldn’t help but be frustrated by the fact that he was still keeping himself closed off.

She didn’t know what to do to help either one of them, except to be there for them.  To push Daniel a bit to release he could move on, to be Vala’s listener when she needed to yell her frustration at his ever changing behavior towards her.

They were stuck in a cycle and Sam could only hope that one day soon something would break it and she’d be there to help when it happened.

 


 

 

Now that it’s over, I just wanna hold her
I’d give up all the world to see
That little piece of heaven looking back at me
Now that it’s over, I just wanna hold her
I’ve gotta live with the choices I made
And I can’t live with myself today
-- “Lucy” by Skillet

(6/18)

 

He sat alone in the corner of the commissary, and he was quite fine with that situation.  He really wasn’t in the mood for company today.  Thankfully it wasn’t a day he had any urgent paperwork or meetings to go to, so he could sit by himself and just try and deal with what his decisions had brought.

 

Her words kept echoing in his mind.  Somehow, and he realised now how incredibly stupid it was to think this, but he thought she didn’t mean it.  That she wouldn’t move on.  Except she did.  And she hadn’t moved on in a way that showed that he meant nothing to her, no.  She had done it in a way that had given him all the choice in whether she stayed or not.  And he had chosen for her to stop attempting something with him and move on.

 

And she had.  His name was Parker, a senator’s son who had fallen for Vala and followed her back to Colorado Springs. She seemed happy with him, although everyone kept telling him how they didn’t like him with her, that he should have done something, should do something.  And part of him agreed, but another part of him was slowly realizing a few things.

 

One, that he had never been quite as indifferent to her attentions as he claimed to be.  Somehow over the last few years he had fallen for her, but kept himself steadily in denail till she moved on and he was forced to come to terms with it.

 

Two, she deserved better.  SHe was right when she decided to move on. She deserved someone who didn’t have as many hold-ups as he did, someone who could admit he loved her and appreciated her being around.

 

Three, realizing you are in love with someone only after your chances are all used up puts one in the awkward position of having to deal with seeing her with her boyfriend.  Seeing how happy she is, and knowing despite what your mutual friends say he’s a good guy who makes her happy.  He wouldn’t do anything to hurt that.


He just had to figure out how to live with the consequences of his decision to let her go.

 


 

 

This isn't goodbye, even as I watch you leave
This isn't goodbye, I swear I won't cry
Even as tears fill my eyes, I swear I won't cry
Any other girl I'd let you walk away
Any other girl I'm sure I'd be OK
-- ”What Makes A Man” by Westlife

(6/22)

“Jackson, you’re an idiot.”  Daniel blinked and looked up from his food to find that the table had emptied except for himself and Cameron.  “You ignore the woman, then proceed to mope when she moves on.  Just when are going to make a move?”

It didn’t take much to know what Cameron was referring to.  Vala.  He had thought he had been more subtle about his feelings about Vala but clearly he hadn’t been.  He understood that Cam had gotten the short stick when he noticed that Sam and Jack gave a look over in their direction from where they stood near one of the game stations.

His own eyes were brought towards where Vala and Teal’c stood, Teal’c teaching her how to play a game.  

“She’s happy.”

“Sure, but she’d be happier with you.  She’s in love with you.”

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“Seriously?”  Cam sounded annoyed.  “Look, Parker might be a good man, but we all know he and Princess aren’t going to make it.  He can’t keep up, and he’s the type of guy who is going to be bothered by that once the mystery disappears.  She’s also in love with you, and that doesn’t go away.  Just like you’re in love with her.  Has that gone away?”

“I never said I was in love with her.”

“Daniel.”  Daniel turned to look at him.  “You never needed to.  We were all there when she disappeared,  we were there when you disappeared.  We didn’t have the need to be in denial like you and her, and we saw it all.  We all love you both and want you two to be happy.  And that’s with each other.  So could you do us all a favor and stop holding yourself back and fight for her.  Let her know she has a choice.

 


 

 

So I'm gonna stand here by your fire,
'Cause it's a cold one tonight.
I'm taking care of soulfight,
And you're the reason why.
-- ”Soulfight” by The Revivalists

(6/25)

The night was quiet as the group settled down by the campfire.  All one could hear was the crackling of the wood and the sounds of the crickets and other insects and the occasional splash of the fish that finally managed to find their way to the pond.  He smiled at the scene in front of him.  His friends - his family- were all around, sitting comfortably in lawn chairs and whatever other misfit furniture they could find.  

On the opposite side of the fire, Teal’c and Mitchell were having a discussion on the proper way to prepare s’mores.  He had to smile at the look of beloved aspiration on the look of Cam’s girlfriend, Carolyn as she listened from her seat nearby. A few feet beyond them Ishta sat, her eyes closed but a slight smile on her face as she relaxed.  Both she and Teal’c had just come from a hard week of negotiations for revisions to the Jaffa government.  They deserved, and probably needed this respite from politics.

On an old wooden bench he had scavenged from an yard sale a few years ago was Daniel,  unsurprisingly found with a book in hand.  He wasn’t offended by his best friends lack of interest in the goings on around them.  After all, they had all come here to relax.  What was surprising was the comfortableness that was between him and Vala, who lay on the bench, her feet swinging on the end while her head rested in Daniel’s lap while Daniel absentmindedly played with some of the strands.  Something had changed there, the usual tension seemed to be gone, and left behind was a comfortable intimacy that he could always see behind it all but they couldn’t before.

But Jack’s favorite thing about the night was that sitting on the old deck bench he had dragged from the dock was Sam, comfortably dressed in a tank top and shorts, her feet bare.  It wasn’t often she got to relax like this, to be truly on downtime.  She usually, like Daniel, found more work to do.  But he had made them both promise no work.  Not for a week at least.  She had been surprisingly agreeable to that this time.

He also didn’t mind that she was snuggled up to his side in a way that a few years ago neither of them would have attempted.

It was an ordinary night, but it was one of those nights Jack figured he’d remember just because they were all there, laughing, loving and enjoying one another.

 


 

 

Grit your teeth, pull your hair
Paint the walls black and scream, "Fuck the world
'Cause it's my life, I'm gonna take it back"
And never for a second blame yourself
-- ”Missing You” by All Time Low

(6/26)

It was interesting, and a tad bit scary, how easily these Tauri worked their way into her walls.  Walls she had placed up high to protect herself after the Tok’ra had removed the parasite from her body.  When she first walked free again as Vala, and not Qetesh.  She worked up a persona, a way to keep people at a distance so they wouldn’t hurt her.

Yet, only a few months on this small planet and she already could feel the walls breaking down.  But it didn’t seem like a bad thing.  It seemed like it was making her stronger, having friends, having people who she knew without a doubt had her back.  It was hard to bring all the walls down, some were ingrained so hard over the last seven years she had been free she almost couldn’t tell they weren’t really her.  But these people helped.

They helped her become stronger while at the same time allowing her to be herself, to be vulnerable if she needed to be.  Because they would be her walls for her when she didn’t have the strength to keep her own up.  They would help her heal if something did get through.

At last she had find a home, a family.  A place she felt safe enough that the walls weren’t necessary. Where she could be free, and trust that wouldn’t change.

 

Chapter Text

You sure are cute and I can tell you probably mean well but oh…

You don’t have a clue you’re swimming in a love spell

If you want the truth I’ll tell you in a nutshell

You’ve still got a lot to learn about love

--”A Lot To Learn” by Copperlilly

(7/03)

“My daughter is quite fascinated with Major Carter,”  Telvas stated as he came to stand next to Colonel O’Neill.

“That is not an unusual occurrence,” Jack replied with a quick grin in Telvas direction before returning his attention to Sam and Lorena.

“She asked me to see if I could arrange a marriage.”

“A what?”  Telvas laughed and held up a hand to stop Jack’s next comment.

“Fear not, Colonel.  I am well aware my daughter’s fancy is temporary.  She is much too young to make such a request.”

“We don’t really arrange marriages,”  Jack continued.

“So Doctor Jackson has informed me.  Our courtship rituals are a bit more...formal I suppose, then your own, but we also value choice.  The arrangements must be approved by both parties.  And as I said, my daughter is far too young to have formed a lasting attachment to Major Carter.”