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Doctor Doom's Diary

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Spoilers: General for Dark Reign/Dark Avengers.
Disclaimer: Characters, settings and concepts belong to Stan Lee, Marvel and many others; borrowed for entertainment value, not profit.
Author's Note: Previously posted anonymously in answer to a prompt on the marvel_kink community.

Doom finds himself most dissatisfied.

Doom's mastery of the occult stands unchallenged now even the former Sorcerer Supreme has crawled away from the field of battle. Doom's country is back under his rule, and Doom's people are worshipfully glad to see him. Doom's work remains undisturbed by even the accursed Richards.

Doom's right wrist is beginning to develop a repetitive strain injury of somewhat embarrassing origin.

(This has nothing to do with the accursed Richards. At all. Whatever anyone says.)

Doom finds his needs have gone unmet for entirely too long. Doom is not foolish enough to attempt to resume his dalliance with the witch Morgana Le Fay, but other prospects seem thin on the ground. The people of Latveria would fight for the honour of being his consort, but to take such liberties is beneath him. Doom does not take minions and underlings to his bed. Doom requires someone... powerful. Defiant. Possibly stretchy.

(This is just a hypothetical example. Of no significance whatsoever.)

Doom finds the god Loki's female form pleasing, but Doom suspects the god of mischief would take joy in evading his clutches, and also, probably laugh at him. Doom will not stand for mockery.

Doom admires the mighty Namor and would take pleasure in breaking his spirit - but the mighty Namor's obsession with Susan Richards is deeply irritating. Doom does not know why anybody would spend so long pathetically fixated on a superhero who clearly does not want his advances. Most degrading.

Doom has occasionally entertained idle thoughts about the armoured Iron Man, especially after discovering he was indeed international playboy Tony Stark, as speculated by many writers of pornographic superhero fiction. (Not that Doom has ever read any of those websites. Except when accidentally stumbling over them in search of information on his enemies' activities. Thorough research is important.) However, Norman Osborn has ensured that Iron Man will not be available to star in such fantasizing for the foreseeable future.

(Doom is somewhat suspicious about Osborn's motives in this, and also wonders whether 'Lord of Latveria' was perhaps too transparent a pseudonym for his entirely innocent research activities. Doom finds Osborn's new predilection for dressing up in armour and attempting to convince Doom to let him interface their systems somewhat worrisome.)

It seems that Doom is fated to go without suitable companionship. Perhaps Doom should channel his energies elsewhere. Yes - Doom will go to his workshop and begin work on a new robot. A Richards-bot, one that exactly duplicates the appearance and stretching abilities of his accursed enemy.

It will surely come in useful for a nefarious plan.

Of some sort.