Work Header

Drowning in love (or in one's keeping score)

Work Text:

“...” Castiel stared as Balthazar who sat next to him in the bushes in the silence of the night, holding random power tools. Balthazar seemed extremely on edge and not very happy. “I-I...hate to doubt your plan, but...are you sure this is the way you want to go?”

Castiel tensed as Balthazar looked fuming as he held a power drill, glancing up at the sky before turning to look at Castiel who only laughed nervously.

“I just spent thirty minutes drilling seventeen holes into the bottom of a row boat. This is the plan we are doing!” Balthazar snapped. Castiel flinched, he never seen balthazar this pissed. Sure, he’s been annoyed, but never frustrated and pissed. Normally he didn’t give a care in the world. “It’s going to fill with water instantly before they get too far to not walk back and they will be soaked.”

“How do you know he is going to take Dean on the lake?” Castiel asked. “Maybe this was pointless.”

“Benny has exactly one weakness.” Balthazar stated. “His father. He tells him EVERYTHING. I just...called his father…”

“Whoa. It must be serious. You know his father.” Castiel spoke, as Balthazar sighed.

“With benny and I...We’re close okay? Always have been. Always will.” Balthazar spoke softly catching Castiel off guard.

“You...really care about benny, don’t you?” Castiel spoke as Benny turned away.

“No! I don’t!” Balthazar crossed his arms.

“...Do you want to talk about it in the therapy tree?” Castiel patted his shoulder comfortingly. “It’s an non judgemental therapy tree.”

“I’ll show you where you can SHOVE your therapy tree-” Balthazar hissed, but voices made them duck down into the bushes. Dean and Benny walking towards the pier, Castiel’s eyes slid over Dean so instantly. He was laughing about something Benny had said. His eyes lit up and he covered his mouth laughing so hard. Dean...was so beautiful when he laughed like that.

Castiel remembered the last time he saw Dean laugh that hard, it was about three months ago when they were jumping on a trampoline in the back of Dean's home. They had jumped on it as children and Dean had the brightest idea to try again at their age. Dean doing flips, though Castiel was so paranoid Dean was going to clip his head on something, with him being so tall. You could guess it, Dean flipped and hit his head on a tree branch, Dean was laughing so hard when he landed. Gushing blood and had a nasty bump, but he was laughing at how Castiel was right. Castiel remembered swearing up a storm at Dean, but Dean...just kept laughing.

Castiel’s eyes remained on Dean, before a shove from balthazar made him turn to look at him.

“I’m going to go ahead. Make sure they get on the left boat.” Balthazar stated, before darting out the bushes away from them. Castiel’s eyes focused on Dean, as he glanced out at the water.

“You know...I once asked Castiel on a boat date.” Dean spoke, before he tensed slightly. “S-Sorry, I know we weren’t suppose to talk about our ex’s-”

“It’s fine.” Benny whispered standing next to him. “Please tell me it was the cute little swan boats.”

“It was.” Dean laughed before his smile faded. “...He refused to come.” Castiel glanced down ashamed.

“Did...he tell you why?” Benny asked, but Dean shook his no.

“I remember, I cried so hard. It’s stupid...but it meant the world of me to go…” Dean looked away. “...he...had no idea how often I cried over his stupid ass...Just remembering the makes me so angry…” Dean let out a laugh as he ran his fingers through his hair. “’s not him...I’m so much angry at… It’s myself…”

“Yourself?” Benny asked.

“...I felt like I needed Castiel’s approval...I needed Castiel to tell me I’m handsome...that i’m worthy...How could I expect Castiel to love me when I couldn’t even love myself?” Dean spoke as Benny eyed him. “I’m starting to love myself...I look in the mirror and say one new thing I love about myself till maybe one day I’ll believe it…”

“....Can I kiss you, Dean?” Benny spoke, as Dean turned his attention to Benny, eyeing him before softly nodding. Benny brought a hand to cup Dean’s face softly, before leaning in and pressing his lips to Dean’s. Dean’s reaction was shy, and the kiss didn’t go farther then their lips softly moving against each other. Castiel... looked away, unable to keep watching. He was right...he didn’t deserve Dean...He really never did…

“Cas, what do you think?” Balthazar spoke at his side again, holding two containers. “Ants or spiders for their bunks? I was thinking spiders-ew...are they kissing?”

“...” Castiel looked at the ground.

“Don’t worry Castiel. He’s easy.” Balthazar scoffed about benny. “He’d kiss your stupid tree.”

“...maybe we shouldn’t do this.” Castiel sighed holding himself.

“What?! Are you on drugs?” Balthazar scoffed.

“I...just want Dean happy…” Castiel’s eyes slid up to Dean, who was being held by benny tenderly.

“I just want BENNY happy.” Balthazar scoffed. “and I know it’s NOT with ditz for brains.”

“Dean is NOT stupid.” Castiel snapped, as Balthazar blinked surprised. “I’m tired of you calling him cruel names! He is the sweetest and nicest person I have ever met! He doesn’t deserve your cruelty because you decided you didn’t want benny when you could have had him! Speak ill of Dean again, and I’ll make sure you won’t have a tongue to. Do you understand?!”

“D-Did you just become bad cas?” Balthazar spoke putting down the container, as Castiel glared.

“No. I didn’t.” Castiel hissed. “Now, I’m putting a stop to you ruining their date-” The sound of a boat hitting the water sounded gaining Castiel’s attention.

“Good.” Balthazar spoke, before tackling Castiel. Holding him down, as Castiel struggled. Being held down by balthazar’s body mass, he tried to shove balthazar by the face away. Castiel’s glasses becoming skewed as he was practically eating dirt.

“Get OFF balthazar!” Castiel struggled, as Balthazar peered his head over the bushes watching them. When he felt Balthazar’s grip loosen, he gasped for air sitting up.

“Uh oh.” Balthazar sighed. “They took the wrong boat. I knew I should have moved the other away.”

“Good you bastard!” Castiel shoved him hard, as he attempted to fix his glasses. “Serves you right!”

“Oh no.” Balthazar stated with a smirk. “I knew you would betray me.”

“Wh-what?” Castiel choked out.

“You are just...too nice…” Balthazar scoffed. “ case you betrayed me...I put holes in both.” Castiel’s eyes moved to the lake, where Benny was paddling into the middle of the lake. They were pretty deep, the boat was suppose to sink by now!

“W-Why haven’t they sunk yet?” Castiel breathed with panic.

“Oh, I only got like six holes in that one...It might take a second.” Balthazar spoke, but Castiel had already stood trying to wave them down.

“HEY! COME BACK!” Castiel screamed, trying to get their attention, but they were already too far out.

“So much for not ruining their date…” Balthazar stated coming out of hiding, standing next to the obviously panicked Castiel.

“DEAN! BENNY!” Castiel yelled before turning to Balthazar shoving him hard. “YOU PROMISED IT WOULD SINK CLOSE TO THE SHORE!”

“If they took the LEFT boat they would have.” Balthazar snapped. “What does it matter?! They will have to swim farther!”

“There was a REASON I refused to ever go on any date with Dean in deep water!” Castiel snapped, grabbing his head in panic. “I was always so scared. I c-couldn’t handle what would happen if something went wrong!”

“What are you talking about?” Balthazar laughed confused as Castiel turned to him,

“Dean CAN’T swim!” Castiel yelled, as Balthazar sucked in air in fear. Turning towards the boat, he started to scream and wave them down. It took a moment before Dean noticed their waving, but it was obviously too late. Dean’s eyes met Castiel’s in fear, the seconds felt like hours. The boat rocked heavily back and forth with Dean’s panic as water filled the boat, and it tipped. “DEAN!”

Castiel moved towards the pier, diving into the water, Castiel swam hard towards Dean. Dean. He needed Dean to be okay. The boat was already gone under the water, when Castiel had got to the area he was sure the boat was. The lake rocked roughly with strong current, even Castiel struggled to keep his head up. His eyes scanned the surface, before he dove under the water.

The water drowned all sound, and Castiel opened his eyes to the dark water. The water stung his eyes, as he tried to see in front of him in the cloudy water.

No sign of Dean.

No sign of Dean.

Castiel reached out his hands farther in hopes to somehow feel more of the area.

How long had Dean been under the water?

How long had he not been breathing?

He couldn’t lose Dean.

He couldn’t.

He loved him too much to give up.

Castiel’s chest started to burn, when he felt his fingers slid against something under the water. It felt odd under the water, but he swam closer. Grabbing at it roughly, Dean’s elbow came into view.


Castiel grabbed his arm, yanking Dean towards the surface, gasping for air. He coughed roughly, forcing Dean’s face up.

No good.

He wasn’t breathing.

He wasn’t conscious.

Castiel coughed roughly, pulling Dean towards the shore, he struggled but when he watched Balthazar swim over, helping grab Dean. Balthazar helped bring him to shore, where Benny coughed panting on the shore, helped grab Dean up.

“I-I’m sorry.” Benny coughed. “I-I didn’t know… O-Or I wouldn’t have-” Benny coughed obviously upset, he helped lay Dean down, as Castiel climbed out of the water and onto the pier.

“Shh.” Balthazar moved to Benny holding him close, he kissed benny’s face. “It’s okay, It’s not your fault. It’s okay, baby.”

Castiel glanced over Dean’s pale skin, how lifeless it looked even with Castiel’s glasses missing, as Castiel shoved Dean’s head up. Castiel started to press on Dean’s chest, pushing down on it in compressions. Stopping only to press his lips to Dean’s lips, blowing air into his chest. Castiel pushed harder, as he tried to get Dean to breath.


So lifeless.

Castiel pressed his lips one more time to Dean’s lips, before water was coughed into his mouth. Castiel yanked away as Dean turned his head coughing up water, gasping and panting weakly. Castiel cupped his face instantly, petting his face with worry as his other hand rubbed Dean’s back soothingly.

“Cough it out. It’s okay…” Castiel cooed.

“C-...Cas?” Dean whispered, the color returning to his face, looking so starstruck… “You saved me?”

“...Benny did.” Castiel lied, as he looked at Benny. Benny however, looked away, not feeding into the lie. Castiel hesitantly looked back at Dean who also wasn’t buying it. Coughing weakly, his eyes scanned Castiel’s.

“Are you an idiot…?” Dean breathed tears filling his eyes. “You could have drowned or worse...Where’s your glasses? Do-Don’t tell me you lost them diving after me.” Castiel gave a loving smile, tears filled Castiel’s eyes as he gave a light hearted laugh. Before leaning in pressing his forehead against Dean’s.

Dean...Always put him first.

Castiel tended to forget that.

No more…

He wasn’t going to let Dean be second anymore.

“I love you so fucking much.” Castiel breathed as tears spilled onto Dean’s face. Dean’s eyes widened as Dean blinked at the feel of the tears.

“W-What?” Dean choked out, as Castiel nuzzled against him.

“I love you. I can’t believe I never had the courage to tell you...I...fucking love you, my little omega.” Castiel sniffed.

“...B-Bad...Cas…?” Dean spoke, as Castiel pulled back to shake his head no. “B-But…”

Castiel slowly leaned down, pressing his lips to Dean’s ear as he whispered into his ear the words he was always too scared to say.

“I...lied...when I said I couldn’t remember…” Castiel spoke pulling back a bit. “I was always too scared, always too scared to be selfish...always scared one day you would realize I wasn’t worthy of I...always kept myself at a distance...When my alpha flared and did the things I was too scared to do...I’d lie...but I’m tired of being scared...I just want you happy…Dean...because you always deserved more than still do.”

Castiel breathed as tears spilled onto Dean’s face again, Dean felt tears filling his own, as he nodded to Castiel.

“Y-You are going to have to prove you’re worth giving a second chance to.” Dean spoke as Castiel nodded quickly.

“Whatever you want.” Castiel laughed lovingly. “You come first. Always. I’m never going to be the reason you cry again…”

“Tell me again. Tell me you love me.” Dean cried, tears sliding down his face.

“H-Hey I said you can’t cry because of me!” Castiel teased as Dean pouted. “...I love you.” Dean yanked him down by the shirt, pressing him into a hard and loving kiss, holding him close.






Balthazar’s POV


Balthazar watched Castiel and Dean kiss hard, Holding each other like they needed each other to breathe. Balthazar’s eyes slid over to Benny who watched them as well, there...was a hint of sadness in his face. Why? Because Dean was back with Cas?!

Balthazar angrily stood storming off, walking away, tears filling his own eyes. Almost to his cabin, when a hand grabbed his elbow yanking him back to face him.

“Why do you always run?!” Benny snapped, as balthazar blinked in surprise. Benny was...yelling at him? Balthazar turned to leave, but benny grabbed him again shoving him back against the wall.

“What the hell?!” Balthazar hissed.

ENOUGH .” Benny’s alpha’s voice stopped balthazar in his tracks. Benny used his alpha voice on him. The voice alpha’s could use to control their mate, though some took advantage. Benny never did. Benny stood looking annoyed, as Balthazar’s eyes scanned his. “No more running. No more pushing me away. No more. I love you. You are MY mate.”

Balthazar said nothing as Benny reached over pushing down Balthazar’s shirt to reveal the old bite mark on his shoulder blade. Balthazar let out a soft breath when benny slid his fingers over it.

“You can pretend all you want you don’t love me...but this mark…” Benny moved to his neck, pulling back his own shirt to reveal his own. “This proves you still do… and the fact any time you could have cheated and broken our never did.”

“...I’m not pretending…” Balthazar spoke, benny seemed taken back. “...I just...don’t know how it…I’m...not good on the emotional I’m distance and I tease.” Balthazar spoke looking away. “I don’t do these...stupid emotions talks…”

“I know.” Benny smiled affectionately. “Instead you try to drown my date.”

“He only drowned a little.” Balthazar mumbled, as Benny cupped his face kissing him multiple times. “S-Stop. You’re so weird.”

“We were so young when we mated...when you broke up with me...I was scared it was because you didn’t love me…” Benny whispered. “But I get it...You just...loved me too much.” Benny breathed burying his face into Balthazar’s neck holding him close. Balthazar struggled lightly as Benny held him tightly, but Balthazar hesitantly submitted. Not good with affection that, wasn’t...fucking. Fucking was easy...loving was hard. Balthazar took a deep breath before his arms tightened around benny and he held him close. Just enjoying the closeness of his mate.





Dean’s pov


Dean panted, gasping as Castiel pressed hot soft kisses against his neck, Castiel was being gentle and easy. The exact opposite Dean wanted right now, as he was laid down in the grass under some tree, Castiel’s special tree or something. Granted, sleeping with your on and off and on...again boyfriend wasn’t exactly smart. He wasn’t exactly smart right now. His boyfriend just finally confessed, his boyfriend just saved his life. Their hormones were off the charts, as Dean wasn’t exactly rational, and either was Castiel.

Dean pulled off his own shirt, tossing it to the side before pulling Castiel into a needy kiss again. Castiel’s tongue sliding easier than Dean wanted, but Dean was getting the show on the road. So far Castiel was the only one in his underwear, and the omega was getting so wet he was soaking his pants.

“O-Off.” Dean panted as he attempted to push off his pants, Castiel took the hint. Unbuckling Dean’s pants, he helped Dean slid out of his wet pants. Dean admitted he wasn’t sure which he liked more, wet clothes or naked skin for warmth. However, when Castiel’s warm skin pressed against his, it sent a chill up Dean’s spine.

“W-We shouldn’t do this.” Castiel panted as Dean kicked free his jeans, as Castiel pressed their lips together. Growling at the smell of Dean’s slick, which Dean shivered at the sexy and hot growl. “We aren’t prepared, and we are just acting emotional-”

“J-Just pull out.” Dean panted, pulling him close, Dean moaned against his tongue. Castiel’s fingers tugging Dean’s wet underwear away from his skin. Dean shivered, lifting his ass to let Castiel tug them down. Dean’s breath hitched when Castiel moved into the space of Dean’s open legs. “F-Fuck. I need you.”

“You need a lot of things.” Castiel’s breath tickled against his ear, as he slid a finger down Dean’s bare chest, Dean’s eyes watching him. Oh yeah, this was no longer just Cas. Dean’s breath hitched, as Castiel’s fingers slid down, teasing his cock on the way down to his hole. Dean squeezed his eyes shut, when he felt Castiel’s finger slid against his needy hole. “Oh...trying to suck me in?” Castiel hummed, well, bad Cas. Castiel’s fingers pressing against his hole, teasingly as Dean needingly tried to take him in.

Dean whimpered, when Castiel stopped the teasing to push in, Dean arched his back. Castiel smirking watching Dean’s reactions, taking them all in.

“You stretched yourself out good during your heats.” Bad Cas hummed, sliding his tongue over Dean’s cock. “How bad did you ride your toys thinking of me?” Too much, too often. Sometimes not even during heat...

Dean only whimpered, as Castiel took Dean into his mouth. Dean bit his lip, as he started to buck himself on Castiel’s fingers. Castiel was taking his time to tease Dean. The bastard. Slowly sliding his tongue over Dean’s cock, taking his time to prep him.

“Now…” Dean whined as Castiel tsked.

“You come first.” Bad Castiel teased, but Dean grabbed his chin.

“You better not.” Dean panted threateningly before his next command, their first sexual experience was not going to end because Dean came from Castiel’s tongue. “Now.” Dean tried to turn to present himself, his body in autopilot. But Castiel’s hand on his chest stopped him.

“I’m going to be a little selfish…” Bad Castiel breathed, as he pulled down his own underwear. “I want to watch you cum...I want to watch the faces you make when I enter you.” Castiel held his cock, moving it towards Dean’s hole. Dean opened his legs as wide as he could, sitting up to watch, Castiel placed his cock against his hole. Looking up to Dean’s face, as Dean watched him start sliding it. Dean shivered as he moaned at the feel of his alpha entering him teasingly slow.

Dean’s eyes moving to look up into Castiel’s eyes, as Castiel watched him enjoying the feeling of being in Dean as well. Dean eyed his face, before leaning in to kiss him, Castiel met with the same intensity. Dean let out a loud moan, as Castiel first started to move. Dean reaching up to support himself on the tree, as Dean broke the kiss to gasp and moan. Castiel grunting as he stared into Dean’s eyes taking him all in. Knowing now that this was them both. Castiel and Bad Castiel...made Dean appreciate every moment with Bad Cas just as much as with Castiel.

Castiel...was making love with him.

The grass was wet and cold under him, and Dean had to hold onto the tree harder to keep from sliding from Castiel’s starting to quicken movements. Castiel’s eyes focused on his face, as Dean tried to keep the gaze back, but one thrust in the right place and Dean was throwing his head back moaning loudly.


Yeah. It was fucking mind blowing.

Dean dug his nails into the tree, as he started to feel Castiel’s balls slap against his ass. God, he had, had sex toys before but nothing compared to the real deal. The grunts and moans from Castiel, The feeling of Castiel lightly tugging at his hair to keep his head up to stare at.

Dean’s whole body started to shake at the thrusting, how perfect it felt for the alpha to thrust into him. His alpha was being so kind to his body, Dean was feeling nothing but pleasure. Castiel only sped up on Dean’s command, only yanked Dean’s hair when he whined for it. Dean was letting out the most inhuman moans, and Dean could tell how turned on Castiel was. His face growing more and more tense as he thrusted into Dean. Trying to keep himself conscious. Trying not to auto pilot and mate Dean on accident. Dean really appreciated how much Castiel was holding back, though Dean was practically begging for it.

Stupid omega hormones.

Dean stared into Castiel’s eyes, as he started to grow close. Dean’s fingers massaging Castiel’s balls, as Castiel’s face grew more pained. He bit his own lip to stop himself from mating the omega as he leaned down.

“I-It’s okay, my little omega. Cum. I can control myself.” Bad Castiel breathed, Dean loved his alpha’s words. Loved the command. Dean arched his back, as his walls tightened around Castiel’s cock. Dean cried out loudly, as he road himself on Castiel’s cock till his orgasm was satisfied. Pushing Castiel to the limit, bad Castiel’s focus on Dean till he started to feel himself trying to knot.

Blue eyed Castiel pulled out just as the knot started to expand, it came out with a pop as cum spilled out in his messy exit. Dean panting from the high, as he felt Castiel’s cum spilling onto his ass and thighs. Dean shivered at the feeling, as Castiel’s fingers rubbed at his own swollen knot. Panting as he glanced at Dean’s messy body, and his knot. Dean sat up, panting as he looked at the mess, his body and mind starting to calm down.

“Y-You pulled out in time right?” Dean panted, blue eyed Castiel gave them a glance, still rubbing his hurtful knot.

“Y-Yeah. I think so.” Castiel panted, as Dean pressed his lips to Castiel’s. Castiel kissed back taking it easy as he waited for his knot to go down.

“I...I think…” Dean stated as Castiel kissed back every kiss. “We friends.” Castiel yanked back confused, looking at him with worry. Before castiel could get upset, dean shook his head. “Let me rephrase I think...we should start dating again. I mean….Start off as friends…”

“Ah, I must be this level of dating to continue?” Castiel teased, as their tongues slid against each others.

“Unfortunately you just got the a sneak peek at seven years of relationship level.” Dean stated, as Castiel hummed, his hand sliding up Dean’s arm affectionately.

He didn’t argue on Dean’s words.

Didn’t throw a fit.

He respected Dean’s decision.

Ugh, this was going to be hard, Dean could feel himself falling for the more mature Castiel, that came with his acceptance of loving Dean. But they both had growing up to do, and starting over. They could actually appreciate where they were and grow. Dean wanted to know Castiel...and in the same breath...He could tell he wanted to know Dean out of the different levels they have been on dating this last seven years.

“I can’t wait to unlock this level.” Castiel teased.

“I can’t wait for you to, too.” Dean breathed, as Castiel pulled back softly smiling before resting his forehead on Dean’s.

“...I love you…” Castiel spoke as Dean hummed.

“I know…” Dean laughed softly. “You may be on friendship level one, but I still want to hear that.” Castiel laughed as well.

“Whatever you want…” Castiel smiled as Dean kissed his nose.

“I’m sorry you lost your glasses.” Dean gave a half smile.

“I would have been more sorry losing you.” Castiel stated kissing his nose back, Dean shivered as Castiel glanced around. He forgot they were both soaked and it was cold as fuck. “Let’s sneak you back to your cabin.” Castiel stated, as he started to help Dean dress. Taking care of him, which Dean swooned over. Castiel helped him up when they were dressed and they walked to the cabin for the first time holding hands.






Dean’s POV



Dean panted after their exercising, on the cheerside of the lake, Dean’s eyes moving to the tree Dean and Castiel….well...okay he was lame enough to call it made love. Dean’s eyes lit up, when he saw Castiel running away with the football in a panic.

“H-Hi Cas!” Dean called as Castiel stopped instantly to smile at Dean. Castiel’s face suddenly went red, and he looked away.

“Man, is he still avoiding you?” Lisa asked panting. “He is so weird.”

“I see him as cute.” Dean hummed knowing why Castiel was having a hard time looking him in the eye, before Castiel was tackled hard by a good group of people.

“I see him as dead.” Lisa winced as Dean instantly ran over in worry, the men started to climb off of him as Dean glanced down with worry,

“Castiel are you okay?” Dean asked, as Castiel smiled seeing stars.

“You are very pretty, Can you tell my boyfriend to call the nurse for me?” Castiel smiled, as Dean blushed before his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he passed out. Maybe this summer wasn’t going to bad….