This was wrong.
Levi knew it. You knew it.
Yet neither of you seemed to be able to stop. To be able to care.
Were either of you feeling guilty? Most definitely yes. Both of you.
But the emotions you both felt as you held tightly onto each other were far stronger than any guilt enveloping your heart.
It was wrong. Yet it felt so right.
The smell of sweat and sex took over your nostrils, ears filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, the wet sounds coming from your lower regions, high and low pitched moans alternated by casual profanities and breathless gasps, names coming out sometimes in whispers sometimes in loud screams.
What were you even doing with your used to be best friend who was supposed to get married the next day? You never thought you’ll fall so low as to sleep with an engaged man. You always despised women who did this kind of thing. Women who ruined relationships. Like the whore that ruined your parents’ marriage. Ha! The joke! The irony! Weren’t you a hypocrite?
Any other day you would care about such things, but tonight your instincts seemed to win over your best judgement. Heck, your mind was even starting to accept this situation. After all, you weren’t alone in this, were you? Why should you even care? Because you knew the soon to be bride? So what? This kind of knowledge wouldn’t make your sin greater or smaller. Fucking an engaged man was already a great fault no matter whom you were betraying right now.
A rough kiss brought back your focus on the man before you. His tongue battled yours for dominance, a battle you weren’t going to let him win so easily. A guttural moan left his lips as you nipped and sucked on his tongue, a hand pulling on your hair while the other fondled your left breast. His teeth scraped yours as he pushed his tongue further inside your mouth, the need to feel every inch of it becoming transparent. You let him as you did the same, your hands tangling in his coal locks as you rocked your hips to his rhythm while sitting on his lap.
“Fuck-” Levi groaned as he pulled away from you. “I’m close.”
You smirked sliding your hands to cup his face. “Already? Aren’t you sensitive?” You moved your lips close to his left ear, since you knew his ears were his weak point. You wondered for a moment if his soon to be wife knew this, if she was able to turn him on and push him over the edge just by touching the right places. Those sweet spots you knew since your high school years, spots that he told you himself during a conversation about embarrassing stuff about each other.
“Or am I that good?” You whispered sensually in his ear as you trailed the tip of your tongue over his ear shell sending shivers down his spine.
Levi suppressed a moan as you accompanied your gesture with a harsh thrust down on his cock. Damn did he feel good right now. He initially wondered how you knew how to please him so well, but then he realized you knew everything about him as he knew everything about you.
“I’d go with the latter.” He breathed. “But two can play this game.” He added before biting on a sensitive spot between your neck and shoulder while spanking your right buttock making you tighten around him and moan loudly. He smirked proudly. He well remembered you telling him how you had a thing for spanking during sex if done correctly. Though the action backfired a bit, he was more proud of himself making you wear that ecstasy expression that was a major turn on.
“Damn you.” You said breathlessly.
His smirk grew wider as he grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist. You gasped, as he had to stand a bit to complete the action, making you lean backwards and hold tightly on his shoulders in order not to fall.
“What the- Levi, I can’t move like this.” You complained, frowning at him.
“I know.” He merely stared in your scolding eyes before standing up, supporting you up by your butt and beginning to move you up and down his length, meeting you halfway with a thrust.
Your incoming protests died on your lips as the new position was allowing him to hit new deeper places. Every move made you see white little sparkles as you held onto him for dear life. Knots were building fast one after another inside your stomach, your release charging you as your moans came out breathless and only half pronounced. The pleasure completely clouding your mind and turning your body into clay he was shaping to his pleasing with skilled and hot touches. Your grip on his back was coming undone and you dug your nail into his back for support making him hiss and ram inside you one last time before placing you on the bed, never breaking the physical link between the two of you.
He quickly circled his fingers around your ankles, held your legs up and spread, resuming his fast and steady rhythm inside you from his standing position.
You looked at him in question, but lost interest for any reply he had after he hit your sweet spot again and again making holding back impossible.
“Wouldn’t want to drop you in the middle of the orgasm.” He replied your unspoked words nonetheless, but you barely heard him. A moan echoed in his chest as he felt your walls spasm around him. You were close and he couldn’t hold back anymore either. “Hey, I’m already at my limit so…”
Too weak to say anything you just opened your shut eyes to look at him, giving him the answer he needed. He clenched his teeth as he released your ankles, leaning in to hold on your left hand while his other hand cupped your cheek as he passionately kissed your swollen parted lips. His tongue brushing yours for a second before he pulled back and locked his eyes with yours, drowning into each other gazes as you both hit your peak at the same time. Your back arched off the bed and against his chest, toes curling, muscles jolting with pleasure as he rode his orgasm off with few more thrusts, his hand gripping tightly onto yours as you both spoke each other’s names as if they were the last words you’d say.
Held breaths came out irregularly and short. Levi’s body slumping over yours as he tried to even his breathing and calm his heartbeat, which was as fast and loud as yours was.
“Levi… get off me. You’re heavy.”
“Shut up. I’m tired.”
“Old man.” You muttered glancing down at his head resting in the crook of your neck.
He rose his head and glared at you. “Do you have any idea how many times we did it?”
“No, I lost count of it a couple of hours ago.” You admitted.
“Well, me too.” He said honestly. “But I can guarantee you I never fucked so many times in one night so cut me some slack, you ungrateful bitch.”
You laughed shortly at his remark. “Are you complimenting me or insulting me?”
“It was obviously a compliment, moron.”
“Oh, Levi. I truly missed your smooth talk.” You said sardonically. “Have any shit jokes in store, too?”
“I didn’t miss your shitty sassy attitude one bit though.” He retorted.
He bit your collarbone in response.
“Hey, don’t bite me just because I’m right.” You pinched his cheek. “And seriously, get off me. You’re really heavy and it’s starting to feel uncomfortable down there. Pull out already.”
“I’m pretty comfy, so no.”
“Oh, come on! I have to pee and clean the stuff you let in there, again. Do you want me to pee on you?”
“You already kind of di-”
“Tch. Fine.” He slowly pulled out and you immediately felt his semen slip out of you and drip on your blue navy sheets. Levi rolled on his back as you frowned at the mess on the bed.
Aaah, who the fuck cares anyway? This was one awesome night. Fuck the sheets.
“I swear, with the amount you let out inside me tonight you could get me pregnant if I wasn’t taking birth control.”
“Why do you even take birth control? You don’t have a boyfriend, right?”
“To keep my shitty periods in check. No more hellish cramps. And it came in handy since you had no condoms with you.”
“Well, excuse me for not considering the possibility of screwing my best friend when I went out tonight. Besides, I would have gone buy some if they were really necessary.”
You scoffed. “Yeah, right. I saw how intended to stop you were when you tore my shirt and panties off me. Literally.” You pointed to the poor pieces of clothing on the floor. “That was expensive underwear, you know?”
“That thing was begging me to tear it apart.”
You frowned at him wanting some sort of revenge for your unfortunate undergarments. “Hey, do you remember my first periods?” You snickered at him.
“Stop.” He said firmly. “I don’t want to recall that… shit.” Too late. You bit your lower lip as you tried not to laugh at the memory. That was one hilarious episode. His expression was priceless when you asked him to go out buy you tampons and medicine one morning after you slept over at his place. His uncle being out on a business trip left the two of you alone in the house, free to play videogames all night and watch old horror movies. Neither of you expected your first periods in the morning. The horrified expression on his face when he saw the stains of blood on your gray sweatpants morphed into a mix of terror and embarrassment when you delivered the news to him. One secret sight you will always carry with you, to your grave as he made you promise not to tell about the episode to anyone as long as you lived.
You left him to his recalling of a dark past as you went to use the bathroom. Peeing, cleaning your lower regions and setting your modern bathtub for a hot bubble bath, letting the water run as you headed out, knowing the water will stop once it reached a certain level.
“Thought you would be already asleep.” You said as you watched Levi clean himself with a tissue. “You can use the shower if you want.”
“What about you?” He asked as he observed you searching for something in your purse.
“I’m taking a long bubble bath.” You replied, successfully finding the items you were looking for. “After a good smoke.” You sat at your desk and began to roll yourself a cigarette.
“Is that w-”
“Tobacco.” You interrupted him before he could voice his misunderstanding.
“Since when do you smoke?”
“Since I left.” You replied licking the thin brown paper and closing the cigarette. “I would offer you one, but I heard you quit, from your fiancé. You must really love her if you listened to her request. Never thought you’d change yourself for someone.”
“You really are a fucking bitch to say that after I fucked you for the past four hours.” He spat and walked over to you, snatching the cigarette from your lips as soon as it was within reach. “And I didn’t quit. I just don’t smoke as much as I used to.” He placed it between his lips.
You rose a brow at him. “She was so sure though. And enthusiastic.” You began to roll another one.
“I just smoke when I’m away for a couple of days and alone.”
“So you lied to her? You’re horrible.”
“Do you really have to do this?”
You stared at him for a second before finishing your cigarette and standing up from your chair while grabbing your silver lighter and walking towards the glass doors that lead to your balcony. You slid them open feeling the cool summer breeze hit your naked skin. You inhaled the fresh air and savored the moment before replying to Levi, who was carefully observing you. The way the moon rays caressed your naked body made you look breathtaking. He felt the urge to hold you in his arms and cover you in kisses tickle his entire being, but snapped back as you spoke, eyes focused on the bright full moon shinning lonely into the sky as the city’s artificial lights covered the light of the starts.
“Yes.” You said, your voice shaking a bit. “It makes me feel less guilty for screwing an engaged man. To think I despise the bitch that ruined my parents’ marriage. But look at me now.” You turned your head to look at him. “I’m a fucking hypocrite. I did the same as that bitch. And the worst part is that, no matter how guilty I feel, I don’t regret it one bit.”
Levi said nothing as you walked outside and sat on a chair at a small coffee table, lighting your cigarette and taking a long drag before you breathed out the grey smoke, tasting the bitter after taste it left in your mouth. You crossed your legs in the large chair and leaned against the red comfortable pillows placed behind your back, eyes staring into the black of the sky.
Levi followed you after about a minute and sat across you, taking the lighter from the coffee table and lighting his own cigarette, taking a drag and exhaling in contempt as he looked at you.
“Much better than packaged ones, right?” You smirked at him.
“At least you brought back one good thing from Europe.” He took another drag. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Your eyes widened in surprise at the question, but his gaze was unwavering. “You left without a word. You fucking abandoned me. For six fucking years, (First). Then you suddenly come back again and act as if you were never gone.” His voice grew angrier and bitterer with every word he uttered.
You looked down at your half-smoked cigarette, ashamed. He was right. You left him, but there wasn’t much you could do at the time. You were young and… scared of your own feelings. Six years later, it all looked so stupid. Everything seemed clearer, obvious even. Six years may not be long, but being on your own toughed you up.
However, now you weren’t sure what to reply. It was too late for the truth, despite the passion you shared minutes ago.
“I wasn’t actually planning to stay away for so long. The scholarship was only for two years, but… They offered me a job right after graduation. Once in a lifetime opportunity and I just couldn't turn them down.” Your voice was weak, clear sign you didn’t want to answer his question.
“You’re avoiding the question.” Levi wasn’t buying your crap and stared down at you.
“I wanted a change of air, ok? I had to get away and start from the beginning.” You said, more firmly, but the quiver in your tone was still noticeable to him.
“And you couldn’t spend two minutes to tell me you were going to fucking Europe? You used to tell me everything, as I did. You used to tell me about every little shitty thing you did. I knew you better than I knew myself, yet you failed to let me know you were going to study overseas?” At this point, he was almost yelling and the accusations he was throwing at you made you angry as well, despite how true and rightful they were.
“You knew shit about me, Levi. If you really knew me as well as you claim then you wouldn’t even have to ask why I left without a word. And if you insist so much on knowing, it was because I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave if I told you about it. And even if I left, it would be impossible to stay there for two damn years!” You yelled.
“What are you trying to say, (First)?” He put off the cigarette into the ashtray on the table and leaned towards you, caressing the back of your left hand as he stared into your eyes.
“Nothing.” You slapped away his hand and massaged your temples. “You know what? You should go home, or wherever you’re supposed to spent your bachelor night. Someone must be finding it suspicious how you disappeared all of sudden and it’s no good. You’re getting married in some hours for fucks sake. So let’s just forget about this. We’ll both take this to our graves and just carry on with our lives. You go home, marry your cute fiancé, go on your honeymoon, have some fun together, come back, have some kids and live happily ever after while I do my own shit. Simple.” You listed out before getting up and returning inside.
“Do you really want me to marry her?” Levi asked from his spot as you both had you back turned to each other.
“I doesn’t matter what I want.” You muttered. “This is your life. Your decisions.”
“That might be true. But you’re just running away, like you did before.” Standing up and walking over to you.
“Why are you so persistent?” You asked, turning around to glare at him, but he was unfazed.
“Because I need to know where you stand.”
His answer caught you off guard, but recomposed yourself quickly and walked back inside, heading towards the bathroom, but Levi got a hold of you before you could grab on the doorknob.
“Let me go.”
You bit down hard on your lower lip, the taste of iron invading your mouth, as you stubbornly remained quiet.
“(First), please. I need to know.” His voice was soft, loving and he rested his hands on your hips and his forehead on your shoulder. “Tell me.”
Your eyes started to stung, a knot forming into your throat. “I can’t.” Your voice came out in a sob, a tear sliding down your cheek. “I had my chance and I wasted it.”
“That’s not for you to decide.”
“She loves you, Levi. She adores you. Do you really want to break her heart like this? I know you love her, too. Don’t… don’t get confused now and do something you might regret.”
“You’re right, she loves me. I’m aware of it. But I don’t regret making love to you. I’m not getting confused here. I wanted this for a long time and for a long time I thought you wanted it too. But then you left. I thought you hated me. But I was wrong, wasn’t I?” He turned you around and looked at you, crying silent tears as his words echoed inside your head.
“I do like her and I know I’ll break her heart, but it would be worse to marry her with these half-assed feelings, while I’m still holding onto another woman.” He cupped your cheek and dried your tears with his thumb.
“Stop it.” You pleaded. “You’re talking as if you already decided not to marry her. Did you lost your mind? You can’t change your mind over the night like this.”
“I don’t care. I’m not getting married. No matter what your answer is. It was your fault to begin with, if you didn’t come back- No, it’s better you came back now. I would have probably done the same even if I was married.”
“I know. I’m scum. An asshole. She deserves better. You deserve better. But I don’t care. I’m not letting you walk away from my life again. I’ll do anything it takes to win you over. Whatever long it takes.” His forehead tapped yours as he held you close.
“You’re going to regret this, Levi. She’s much better than me. She ca-”
“Stop lying. I know you don’t really think this.” He opened his eyes and stared at you as if he was able to see in your soul.
Your gaze slid to the floor, looking at the side, trying to hide from him. “So what? I’m trying to save your marriage here.”
“Would you just stop thinking about me or the damn marriage and be honest with yourself? What do you want in all this? Where are you in this?”
Levi was never a patient man, you knew this well, but he was already showing you great patience. And you were abusing it. Unable to make up your mind. What were you even afraid of? The man before you was ready to throw everything away for you, yet you were hesitant.
“What if you realize what you lost after you lose it? What if you realize you love her mo-” Tears were threatening you once again just thinking about the possibility, but he didn’t let you finish.
“I already realized what I lost the day you left. I’m not making the same mistake twice.”
Tears fell again, but you were serene this time. Determined. “Fine. I’m not letting you go even if you regret it. You asked for it, so you’d better be prepared.” You sniffled as you wiped the tears from your face.
Levi looked at the mess your face was. Eyeliner and mascara smeared on your cheeks, bleeding swollen lips and puffy red eyes, yet you were the most beautiful woman in his eyes. “Finally, you moron. Took you long enough to make up your mind.” He said cupping your face and kissing your lips softly, pouring all his feelings into that one kiss.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss and tasting the tobacco in his mouth. It was like a drug. Something you tasted long ago once and craved for it for years.
“You taste like tobacco and blood.” Levi said as he pulled back and licked your lower lip.
“Sorry, I guess?”
“And smell like shit.” He added nuzzling into the crook of your neck.
“Pff- My God, aren’t you sweet?” You kissed his cheek. “That bath must be already cold.”
“It wouldn’t have happened if you decided what you wanted sooner.”
“Are you going to ever let me live this down?”
You rolled your eyes at him. “Just so you know, I’m one shitty girlfriend. I always got dumped. Not dedicated enough, they said.”
“I know. Because you’re a lazy-ass and were in love with me.” He said lifting you up bridal style and carrying you to the bathroom. “But don’t expect me to be any better. I used to get dumped a lot, too.”
“I know.” You laughed. “You used to complain about women not being able to make their minds up and being moody and shit. And you complained about how they complained about your attitude and personality. But I’m fine with you the way you are.” You kissed his temple. “So you’d better be fine with me the way I am.”
Levi placed you inside the bathtub and sat behind you wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you to his chest. “Thought it would be colder.” He muttered in the crook of your neck.
“You didn’t answer.”
“Of course I’m fine with the way you are, moron. I fell for you so long ago I can’t even remember it and wasn’t able to get over you even after you left.”
You almost snapped your neck when you turned to look at him. “What? How long? I had no idea.”
He thought about it for some moments. “I can’t really pinpoint the exact moment, but I realized it when I was twelve.” Your jaw dropped. That was much earlier than you. “After I stole your first kiss.” He smirked smugly at the confession.
“It was your tenth birthday and you spent the night at my place after the celebration Kenny organized. You fell asleep after he let you take a sip from his wine.” He chuckled at the memory of you falling asleep after just one small sip of red wine. “I kissed you before going to sleep. We were still sleeping together at the time. That was when I realized you were special.”
“Why did you not tell me sooner?”
“You considered me family. I couldn’t bring myself to break your trust like that. And then you got a boyfriend. I thought I had no chance. At least until you kissed me.”
Your eyes widened in horror. “Weren’t you dead drunk that time? You said you didn’t remembered shit the next morning.”
“I didn’t remembered it right away. It took me a week. And when I finally remembered you acted as if nothing happened and were all over that tall fuck-prick. I thought it was something you did because you were drunk too and regretted it. Though I was going to make my move when he broke up with you, but…”
“I left.” You sighed. “I wasn’t drunk and I did not regret it. It made me realize I wouldn’t be able to hide my feelings for you any longer, and I was afraid I would ruin our friendship thinking there was no way you’d reciprocate my feelings. So I ran away, hoping to be able to get over you. But it didn’t quite work.” You rested your head on his shoulder as he was slowly washing your shoulders, chest and arms.
“So basically, all this happened because we…”
“Are idiots.” You completed the sentence for him and he grumbled. “Fuck. Just how many years did we waste?”
“We have plenty of time to make up for it.” He spoke in your ear seductively.
You shivered when his hot breath tickled your ear shell. “Weren’t you tired?”
You felt something poking your back as he was already working magic on your nipples. You swallowed back a moan. “Wait. There are still things we need to discuss.” You said, but you didn’t feel like stopping him.
“What are you going to do about tomorrow, well today?”
“Show up to tell everybody I’m not marring, break up with my fiancé and get slapped.”
“I want to come with you. She will probably want to slap the bitch who stole her fiancé, too.”
“If you think I’ll let her slap you-”
“You will let her. She has the right to do so, though I won’t accept anything more than a slap and whatever insults she’ll throw at me.”
“Levi.” You called and he hummed. “You’re already hard rock.” You remarked, a small smirk on your lips.
“You can’t blame me. Seeing you smoke outside completely naked and then fight while still naked was damn hot. And how can I resist with you here finally being mine.” He nipped your earlobe.
“We’re probably gonna argue a lot. Since we’re both so stubborn.”
“As long as we do it naked, I’m fine with it.”
You laughed. “Dork.”
“Shut the fuck up and kiss me already.”