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Vegard and the Kidney Stone

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Vegard got up slowly from his desk to make his way to the bathroom. It was Thursday morning at the office. He had been having pains in his stomach since Wednesday night. He was taking paracetamol but it was not helping. He tried to act like nothing was wrong but the pain was increasing. A fine sheen of sweat covered his forehead. He knew he would feel better if he could make it to the bathroom and splash some water on his face. Unfortunately, as he rounds the corner, he sees Bård, Magnus and Calle talking. He tries to duck back behind the corner but Bård sees him and calls him over. Vegard does not want to be mean by avoiding them, but he just doesn't feel like standing up long enough to talk. Since he has already been spotted, he walks slowly over. The guys are talking about some sketch, but, to Vegard, they might as well be speaking French. Their voices seem far away and Vegard begins swaying on his feet.

“Uggghhh,” Vegard could hear himself crying out but his voice seemed so far away and like it didn't even belong to him.

“Vegard?” Magnus said.

“Oh shit...oh shit” cries Bård.

Vegard's eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted. Magnus catches him before he hits the floor and lowers him gently to the floor. Calle runs and gets a damp paper towel. Bård gently slaps Vegard's face. Vegard is breathing but he doesn't respond to him. He just moans softly. Calle comes back and wipes Vegard's face with the damp towel. Vegard moans and his eyelids flutter open.

“What happened?” Vegard croaked.

“You collapsed...we're going to get you to the lounge so you can rest on the sofa!” Bård stated. Magnus and Bård lift Vegard from the floor and carry him to the lounge. They put the dark haired man on the sofa. People in the office are gasping and staring but Vegard is too ill to care.

“What's wrong Vegard? Are you hurt anywhere?” asks Calle. Vegard nods. “My stomach is killing me. I have been taking paracetamol and it has not really helped. It hurts really badly!” His voice is barely above a whisper and Calle has to lean in closer to hear him. Vegard rolls over onto his side and moaned in pain. When it becomes clear that Vegard is not getting any better on his own, they know that Vegard needs to get to a hospital. Magnus suggests calling an ambulance but Vegard does not want the attention. Magnus and Bård practically carry Vegard to Calle's car and they set off for the hospital.

At the hospital, Vegard gets examined and gets some tests including an abdominal ultrasound. It becomes apparent that he has a large kidney stone. They give Vegard morphine but it does not take away the pain—it just takes the edge off. Because of the location and size of the stone, they cannot do laparoscopic surgery to remove the stone. They could do open surgery, but because of where the stone has traveled, they will have to make too many incisions into Vegard and that could cause damage to his organs. His best bet is lithotripsy to break the stone up and they schedule him for one Friday afternoon. So, the only thing to do now is to wait. Vegard is vomiting yellow bile and cannot even walk due to the pain. They don't want to release him if he cannot keep down any fluids or even walk. The nurse pats Vegard's soft curls sympathetically. “I have had three babies naturally and I have also had kidney stones,” the nurse says. “Even with pain meds, the kidney stone pain was worse than labor!”

At about 4pm on Friday, the nurses come and get Vegard for the lithotripsy. After being in pain for about 30 hours, Vegard is too weak to even walk. He almost collapsed when he tried to sit up in bed. The nurses are very concerned and they bring a large male nurse in who carries Vegard to the wheelchair in the hallway. Bård returns to the hospital when Vegard has gone for the lithotripsy. When he sees the empty room, he thinks the worse has happened until the nurse reminds him that Vegard has merely gone for lithotripsy.

About an hour later, they bring Vegard back to his room. Vegard's face is dead white and he looks very small in his hospital bed. His eyes are huge and dark in his face. Bard instinctively took Vegard's hand and it was as cold as ice. Vegard did not pull away and gave Bård's hand a small squeeze. The nurse explains that they sedated Vegard. He had a stent placed in his bladder and he would have some pain and bruising from the procedure. He would probably have blood in his urine until the stent was removed and all of the stone fragments were passed. The stent was placed in order to make it easier for the stones crushed by the procedure to exit the body. They usually release people home after a hour or two in the recovery room. But, Vegard had had some complications from the procedure. His pulse was very weak and his blood pressure was very low. He had also thrown up a few times after the procedure and had a fever and chills. There was no way that they were going to release him in that condition. So, he would have to stay in the hospital a few more days.
Bård looked over at Vegard and noticed that he was crying. “ will be fine! Are you still having a lot of pain?” he asked. “No,” Vegard said. “I am sore but nothing like before. I guess I am just embarrassed that I threw up on myself and couldn't even wash myself. I mess up everything!”.

The nurse smoothed Vegard's hair back from his hot forehead. “It's fine. I will help you bathe. You are very ill and couldn't help throwing up. It's fine!” she said. Bård rubbed Vegard's hand. In spite of his hot forehead, his hand was small and cold.

“It's okay Vegard. We'll help you wash up” he said. Vegard sniffed and nodded. The nurse turned up the heat a little in the room so Vegard wouldn't get chilled. The nurse and Bård helped Vegard get into the wheelchair by the bed and wheeled him over to the shower. They put him in the shower chair and helped him get his gown off and the nurse covered his IV port with plastic wrap and tape. She washed his hair with the shower attachment and she washed his body. “Can you get this part?” she asked Bård gesturing towards Vegard's lower regions. Bård nodded and quickly, but gently, washed his brother's legs and privates while the nurse combed conditioner through his curly hair and shaved his face. Bård was surprised at Vegard's body. Vegard's penis was longer than average and very thick. He had very big balls and had trimmed the area. Everything looked even bigger with no hair in the way. Vegard was not fat at all but a bit more solidly built than Bård. He had quite a big butt for a man and thicker thighs than Bård's. "They look better than my bird legs!" Bård thought with amusement. Bård noticed all of this in a matter-of-fact way...not in a sexual way at all. He had not seen Vegard nude since Vegard was 10. "Vegard has got quite a nice body..." he thought to himself, "when he is feeling better, we need to get him to do some of those public bathing clips with Calle. I bet they'll be popular with the fans." They rinsed him off, dried him and Bård wrapped him a towel while the nurse changed his linens. Vegard leaned against Bård while the nurse fixed the bed. Then, they put Vegard back in bed. Vegard was exhausted but seemed happier after his bath.

Vegard and Bård talk quietly for a while. Vegard's wife is out of town but is coming back into town with the children tomorrow morning. Vegard did not want Bård to call her and tell her what was going on. Bård knew Helene would be pissed that she was not told before, but they both knew that Vegard could be strange about certain things. “Bård?” Vegard said timidly.

“Yes?” Bård answered.

“Thanks so much for helping me bathe. I appreciate it. I know there's work to be done at the office and I am so sorry for leaving it on you...if you want to bring the paperwork here....” he trailed off.

“No,” Bård said firmly. “You are resting while you are in here and then you are going to take your time recovering when they release you. Pushing yourself too hard is probably why you got so sick. We can handle things. You just rest”. Vegard closed his eyes and nodded. Bård knew that he was still very ill since he did not argue. Bård pushed the guest bed beside Vegard's hospital bed and put the rails down. He sat beside Vegard on the guest bed and read a magazine. Vegard scooted over and put his head on Bård's lap. Bård was surprised but did not make him move.

Later Calle and Magnus came by to visit. Vegard came up with the idea of them filming a short video clip of him to fans for IKMY. Magnus taped it on his phone. They put Vegard's bed in a sitting position and Bård and Calle smoothed his hospital gown and his curls as best they could. They filmed Vegard waving at the camera and saying that he missed everybody. Vegard looked very small and weak in the clip and you could see in his eyes how drained he was. Magnus knew that Vegard looking so ill would keep TVNorge off of their backs and let other people know that Vegard was going to be out of commission for a while. When they left, Vegard was sleeping peacefully; his dark curls fanned out on his pillow like a cloud.