“Let me guess,” Blaine says, slumping down next to Kurt on Alec’s couch, “this week, we’re, uh, stealing the Crown Jewels to feed orphans in – um, some war-torn country somewhere?”
“No, sweetie,” Kurt says, pressing a quick kiss to the side of his head, “that was last month.”
This is not where Kurt Hummel saw his life going, back when he was trapped in Ohio and wishing for the stars. He’s not on stage and his face isn’t on billboards and he can’t tell his father what he does every day. He’s on his way to being world famous, though, if only in a very elite field.
“Kurt! Kids!” Alec calls from the war room. “We got a job.”
Ben trumps past Kurt, rolling his eyes in Kurt’s direction. “Boss-man summons,” he intones.
Kurt laughs, telling Blaine, “Gotta go, hun, work to do. Love you!”
“Love you, too,” Blaine says, and Kurt ends the call, following Ben .
Molly, Josie, and Trevor are already in their seats, having a three-way bicker-fest. Ben immediately takes Molly’s side and sits next to her, which just adds fuel to Trevor’s fire. Kurt really hopes they get their act together soon, because they’ll be less annoying then.
“Settle down,” Alec tries. They ignore him.
Kurt smiles, clasps his hands in front of him, and watches Alec with his most innocent expression.
Alec gives Kurt a dirty look, raising his voice to order, “Kids! Quiet, you hear me? We got some innocent folks to help and some real bad dudes to destroy.”
“Sir, yes, sir,” Trevor says sarcastically, giving Alec an equally sarcastic salute. Ben snickers, and Molly and Josie assume innocent expressions of their own, sitting up straight.
“That’s better,” Alec says, ignoring Trevor. “Now, our new client is Anna Reynolds, and man, did she get royally screwed over.”
Kurt listens avidly, taking notes in his head, and when Alec wraps his monologue up and asks if anyone has questions, laughs along with the rest when Ben says, “So, which plan are we gonna throw out this week?”
Blaine doesn’t really like what Kurt does; he had complained about it for a few months, back when Kurt first started learning from Evelyn, but Kurt had eventually told him, fresh from a con, that if he didn’t accept it, he knew where the door was.
Kurt met Evelyn two months after graduating from Tisch, at his third callback. She was the casting director’s friend and kept murmuring in his ear. Kurt watched her, the way she touched the casting director’s arm, the way she leaned in, how the director’s eyes followed her.
Clearly, Kurt had thought, tired after a full day of work, the way to get the part was to charm the beautiful woman who shouldn’t have even been there.
By the way the woman smirked at him as he left, she had caught on.
He got the part.
Only one of Kurt’s marks has ever caught him red-handed, and thankfully, the man had not expected Kurt to be capable of defending himself. The shock of being punched in the face slowed Timothy down enough that Kurt was able to get away clean.
Blaine had been pissed and demanded that if Kurt was going to continue being a thief and con-artist, he’d damn well better get back-up.
The fear in Blaine’s eyes was what had Kurt calling Evelyn for the first time in two years, and she introduced him to Alec Hardison, who was putting together a crew of his own.
Of course, the job goes wrong. It always goes wrong – that’s what makes it fun.
Ben beats the shit out of some goons; Molly kicks the shit out of some more. Josie walks out the building with the evidence needed and plants it in Alec’s fifth back-up location (Plan E), and Kurt charms their mark and his Council of Evil (Alec’s naming conventions have never been normal) into incriminating themselves in front of half of New York’s FBI White Collar Division.
Anna Reynolds gets both her vengeance and her justice, and Kurt kisses Blaine breathless.
Yes, it started out as a thrill, watching Evelyn get away with some amazing things, and Kurt wanted that exhilaration. It was even better than being on stage, receiving a standing ovation from a full house.
Kurt went from petty cons for the sheer excitement to Alec’s crew of Robin Hoods, helping out the people the system screwed over.
Blaine still doesn’t like it, of course, and Kurt still doesn’t tell his family. But he’s doing good, and it’s so much better than Broadway.