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A Unrest In Her Mind

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It had been a little over two weeks since both Kevin Burkhoff and Tess Doerner arrived at The 4400 center and more importantly. Tess had been cured of her schizophrenia by Shawn Farrell, who also gave them a place to stay and a place Kevin could work on his test for those who wanted to take the promicin shot.

In the first week that went by, Tess couldn't help but feels so sad and guilty over what happened at the diner, but more so over what she did to Kevin.

She'd hurt the one person who meant the world to her, the one she loved.

Yes, he was healed by his regeneration powers but he still felt the pain of his hand burning and Tess never forgot Kevin's screams. And when she would try to sleep, she had nightmares of the diner, mostly just of Kevin screaming, also meaning she rarely slept.

It was during the second week that Kevin started noticing a change in Tess; she'd become sullen, quiet and depressed. And he felt so guilty that he had been too busy to notice.

In the middle of the night, Kevin woke up to see that Tess wasn't beside him, cuddled up close to him and holding on to him for dear life as she had been the last few nights.

He heard a noise coming from the living room; he got up to see what the noise was and saw Tess sitting on the couch, quietly sobbing.

It broke Kevin's heart to see Tess this way. Quickly, he sat down beside her, taking her into his arms. But before he could say anything, Tess crawled onto his lap, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, sobbing even more.

Kevin was about to say something. "I'm so sorry." Tess sobbed into his neck.
Kevin held onto Tess, gently rocking back and forth, trying to calm her down. "Tess, what are you sorry for?" he asked.
Tess tried to stop her crying to whisper. "The diner."

Kevin sighed but knew there was more to it. "What about the diner?"

"I keep thinking about what I did to those poor people. I know I made them forget, but I won't. Especially…" she trailed off.


Tess lifted her head off his shoulder, looking at him while a fresh batch of tears started. "Especially with what I did to you, making you burn your hand." She reached for his right hand, continuing on. "It's your screams I hear; it's the pain on your face I see and hear in my dreams, not theirs."

She played her head back upon Kevin's shoulder, while more tears came down. "I hurt the one who is the most important person in the world to me." Her voice went to a small whisper and said. "The one I'm in love with."

Kevin couldn't believe what he heard, not just her confession about the diner, but of her being in love with him. He'd always thought she loved him only as a friend, given the age difference and he didn't dare dream that Tess could love him as anything more then a friend.

He continued to rock her until he'd realized she fell asleep, and carried her back to their room, placing her gently on the bed.

She moaned and reached out for him. Kevin laid down beside her as she moved towards him, not wanting to let him go, even wrapping on of her legs around his, trapping him in place.

Not that Kevin minded being trapped, he gave a small smile as Tess moved herself closer to him, laying her head on his chest.

He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and whispered. "I'm in love you with you Tess." Before falling back to sleep himself, still holding Tess tightly to him. Unbeknown to him, Tess heard his confession and smiled, snuggling more into Kevin's side.

Tess woke up to see that Kevin was still beside her sleeping and that they'd only been asleep a few hours. She sighed happily; it was only 5 hours of sleep, but it was the first time in the past two weeks that she got more then 2 hours of sleep.

She laid there, just watching Kevin sleep. He looked so peaceful, so innocent. She thought back to two moments at the diner, the only ones she could look back at fondly.

The first one was of them dancing and sharing that beautiful kiss and the second was after Shawn cured her; she reached up, grabbing Kevin and help onto him as tightly as she could, needing to be close to him.

While she was thinking about those moments, she didn't notice that Kevin was awake and watching her closely. Tess looked up to see Kevin watching her, she gave him a small smile and said. "Hi." cuddling closer to him.

He wrapped his arms around her. "Hi, how are you feeling?" he asked, concerned.
She placed her hand on his cheek. "I'm okay, relieved mostly after my mini breakdown, telling you why I felt all this guilt," she said, reaching for his hand, the one she made him burn, placing a kiss the palm. "I'm so sorry Kevin," she whispered, starting to cry again.

Kevin brought her closer to him, resting his chin on her head. "Tess, I forgave you awhile ago, basically the moment you brought out the butter," he said with a laugh, making Tess giggle as well.

Pulling back to see her face, Kevin wiped her tears away and caressed her face. Tess looked up into his beautiful eyes, looking bashful. "I heard you last night, when you said you are in love with me," she said.

His eyes went wild at this; he didn't think Tess would want to be with him that way, especially with the age difference and the fact that she was more healthier now than he was.

While Kevin was thinking this, Tess reached up to place a gentle kiss on his lips, almost mimicking the kiss they shared at the diner. Bringing their hands up to caress each other's cheeks, the both of them deepening the kiss, shocking both of them since they've never kissed each other like this before and neither of them wanted to stop.

Enjoying the feel of each others lips, they're kiss went even deeper, tongues battling of dominance until they ran out of breath, ending the kiss.

Their forehead touching both breathing heavily and smiling, they couldn't believe the make-out session they'd just had. Tess licked her lips, enjoying his taste. "Wow, is it always like that?" she asked. Kevin raised his eyebrows in question. Tess blushed and said, "Bobby wasn't that much of a kisser."

They both laughed at what she said, snuggling closer together.

"No, kissing isn't always like that; it depends on the person you're with and what are your feelings are towards the person too. Even though, I'm not that much of an expert on the subject or the other one for that matter," he said, blushing at this statement, when it fact it was true; his ex-wife was the only person Kevin had ever been with.

"Well neither am I, Kevin; we'll learn together." Biting her lip before continuing on. "But I'm not ready to do anything more than this," she said worriedly; she wasn't ready to make love with Kevin, even though a part of her wanted to. She was still a virgin and Kevin knew that.

Kevin smiled tenderly at Tess. "We'll wait as long as you want Tess. And another thing: next time you have those feelings about what happened at the diner, please tell me okay?" She nodded yes and smiled.

They laid in bed together the rest of the day, both needing a break from what was happening outside the walls of The 4400 center.

And Tess felt better then she had in the last few weeks. The worry and unrest in her heart and mind were gone. But the most important thing, she had Kevin, the man she loved with all her heart in her arms. And for the time being, she felt happy, safe and above all else…loved.