Work Header

Beware Of Hippos

Work Text:

Alone in his workshop, Tony puts the finishing touches on the cocktail-making robot he made for no actual reason. He can’t remember the last time he ate, which is probably a bad thing, but at least his stomach has stopped making annoying noises.

(He can’t remember the last time he slept, either, but that’s irrelevant; sleep is for the weak and the bored.)

He’s keeping his fluids up, though; he’s been steadily going through the contents of his bar. He read somewhere once that alcohol actually dehydrates you, but he hasn’t collapsed or died yet, so he figures the coffee’s been negating the effects.

Speaking of coffee, he should probably upgrade the machine in the main living room. It isn’t fair to everyone else to keep the best stuff for himself, and Loki would probably get a kick out of watching everyone try to operate it.

(It’s not his fault the interface changes with every upgrade.)


Tony used to think he was over the ‘daddy issues’ part of his life.

And then a test-tube soldier in spandex appeared and resurrected everything like some sort of well-intentioned necromancer. And it’s not like Tony can blame him for it or anything; hell, you can’t blame Steve for anything. The guy’s too innocent, like a puppy. A huge, muscly puppy in bright blue spandex.

There are only two ways you can go with those kinds of issues, and Tony went the other way. He distracts himself with science and Loki (not, in fact, mutually inclusive terms, surprisingly enough), pretends everything’s fine, and it seems to be working well enough.

(The conversations he has with Loki almost every night are definitely not a factor. Nor is the surprising willingness of Loki to actually listen to him.)


Tony is definitely not obsessed with Loki.

He’s obsessed with the guy’s mind. There’s a difference. Also possibly the fact that he’s got magic and could probably give him enough information about it to make everything on his suit that much more lethal because, hello, they’re now ‘on the map’ in terms of intergalactic warfare.

And he could probably modify some arrows, too, if Barton shut the hell up for a second. He’s not hot for Loki, that was one time okay, he’s probably not interested anyway, stop laughing you goddamn Robin Hood reject.