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Dear Darcy

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Dear Darcy;

Here’s another letter, one more that you’ll never read.

Today is January 21th, three years went by and I can’t forget the look on your face when you realized I had failed to keep the only promised I’ve ever made you, to keep you safe.

The others don’t talk about it anymore, I don’t know if they don’t care or just care too much. I see Jane crying in the corners, she misses you. Thor always tells me that she forgave me, but I know she never will, you were her best friend. I can see the way the looks at me, she knows it my fault.

Steve likes to pretend he doesn’t know. Like he doesn’t know it was me, like if I wasn’t for me, the girl he loved like a sister would still be here. He doesn’t leave the training room anymore, Wanda always leaves something for him to eat with a little note remembering him to sleep, just like you used to. He pretends they are from you, and once in a while, I even see him smiling.

Pepper left, she and Tony have been fighting a lot since you were gone, and it’s not your fault of course. I just think it was too much for them.

But you’re probably wondering why I’m writing another letter, one more telling everything you already knew, everything I’ve already told you. It’s because I need to tell you that I’m okay.

Steve and I went to the park today, we sat on your favorite bench and fed the ducks just like you used to, I could smells the roses, they smelled just like you. But this time I didn’t cry, I wasn’t angry or anxious, I smiled.
I smiled because I remember how happy you were here, on your own little world, like nothing in the world was important except us. You were so beautiful, like no one else will be.

And I hope you forgive, please forgive for not being there earlier, for not being able to keep my promise.

This is my last letter, I’ll move on, I’ll not blame myself, I’ll accept your forgiveness, just like I told I would in the back of the ambulance, while the doctors were trying to fix your wounds. I couldn’t keep my fist promise, and it will always breaks my heart, but those ones I’ll.

Goodbye, baby doll. I will always love you.
Your Bucky.