My owner's an asshole. And that's putting it nicely, I didn't know why the crazy lady left me here with him, he doesn't even like cats. I don't think he likes anything, to be honest. But he's not all that bad, I think he's just lonely, not many other people come by except for the crazy lady and the big blond man who knows how to pet. I think his name's Erwin, I like him. I used to want Erwin to take me with him, but I've kind of soften up to Levi, my owner.
Sure, he's an asshole and looks mean, but he 's not too bad. He buys me the food I like and sometimes buys me new toys and plays with me. He threatens me, but I know he'll never actually go through with any of the threats. He loves me, no matter how many times he says he's going to kick me out and let me freeze to death.
I figured out early on that as long as I followed the rules most of the time, we were going to be fine. But there are some things I can't control, like my shedding.
"Get the fuck off that pillow, Eren,"
I hissed at him but got off, he grabbed the pillow with one hand and started hitting it with the other. A bunch of my fur fell to the floor. I don't know why he complained, I had a nice coat, just shed a lot. I tried to lick it away as often as I could, but its a tedious task and I end up spitting hair balls everywhere, which is another thing that bothers Levi. There's no winning with him.
I think my fur is part of the reason he doesn't like to pick me up all that often, he pets me whenever he's sitting on the couch or sometimes when he gets home, but he doesn't really like to pick me up, and I like getting picked up. That's why I always jump onto the top shelves. Levi's short so he always has to use a ladder, but I think it's funny and he always takes me off the shelves, even though he says he's going to leave me here. I think he thinks I'm afraid of heights, I'm not, I'm just not as graceful as other cats, so when I jump off, I usually land wrong and hurt my paws.
That's exactly what happened once, I jumped from a ledge in the backyard and I fell on my paw. Not only that but I landed on a rock too so I ended up needing some stitches and I couldn't walk right for a few weeks. Needless to say Levi called me a dumbass every time I had to walk, well more like limp. The only good thing was that Levi picked me up more so I wouldn't have to limp around, I appreciated that, and I showed my appreciation by trying to give him my mouse toy. I left if by the doors where he could easily see it, but he always stepped on it and got mad at me, so I don't think he liked that gift. So instead, I started licking him more, but I don't think he liked that either. But he liked it a little more than my toy, so I do it frequently. I also do it to say thanks and show him that I love him, too. Even if he is an asshole.
One thing I don't like it how often he gives me baths, they're not that often, but often enough for me to know I hate them. I mean I do a good job of cleaning myself, I don't need him to give me a bath. The water doesn't feel nice, it feels like it makes me even more dirty, which is why I don't like to get close to Levi when he's wet. Maybe that's why he takes such frequent showers, because he's figured out I don't like him like that, it makes me sad to think that though. But he dries himself quickly. I try to wash him too sometimes, but he doesn't like me licking him too much. Sometimes when he's been super mean to me, he doesn't say anything, or when I've done something bad. That's how I apologize, I clean him to let him know I care.
He was barefoot right now as he was yelling at me, so I licked his toes and he kicked me away. I hissed at him, I'm doing you a favor, Levi. I know how much he likes to be clean, so he should be happy I'm cleaning his feet. I wouldn't just lick anyone, I have standards.
I was starting to get hungry so I walked over to my food bowl and meowed at Levi. I'd like some food now.
"Are you fucking with me? You just ate,"
Yeah, fucking three hours ago. I'm a growing cat, feed me!
Levi's sighed and put the pillow back on the couch and made his way over to me, I licked his hand as he picked up the bowl, thanking him.
I wanted to jump onto the table but I saw Levi pull out the bad food from the cupboard. Its not that it was all that bad, really, but it just didn't taste like real chicken, and once you've had the good kind, you can never appreciate the gimmicky ones.
I stretched as I watched Levi rinse my bowl and put the food in. He walked over to my usual eating spot and placed the bowl, "get any on the floor and you're hunting for your own food," right.
I ate and watched Levi walk to the refrigerator and started taking out things, probably going to eat something himself. I was taking my time eating, trying to focus on what Levi was doing so I wouldn't have to taste what I was eating. This fake chicken. Yuck.
A few minutes later he was sitting on the table as he ate, alone. Always so lonely Levi was. I used to think of ways to try to communicate to him that he should get another cat, but then he'd complain about the fur, and pay less attention to me. And I want to be the only cat he pays attention to, he's an asshole, but I still love him, and I don't want to share him. I want him to play with me, not with some other cat that doesn't know him like I do. And to be fair, Levi wasn't going to find a cat as handsome as me, so it would be a wasted effort.
I stalked my way over to him and walked around his feet, he must be cold. He flinched when I first touched his foot, but other than that let me lay down on his feet and warm them. They were cold, but nothing my warm coat couldn't fix. His toes were under my paw so I lifted it and started to lick his toes, but he moved his feet from under me and I ended up rolling a couple feet away under the table. I meowed angrily at him.
"Did you finish your food?" I walked back so I could meow at him to his face but his face was a lot meaner than anything I could muster so I just stayed looking at him, "go eat your food," he pointed to my bow.
Well move it closer over here so I can eat with you, you lonely, grumpy man. But he did no such thing, instead he stood and started washing the dishes he dirtied. It was so hard to communicate with Levi since he didn't speak cat. I went back to angrily eating my food, but this time I ate quickly so I didn't even register the taste. Thank the kitty god.
When Levi was done he went and laid on the couch, he looked more mad today than usual. His cellphone started ringing and he answered it.
"What do you want, Hange?" Hange? Oh, crazy lady, "Eren?" I meowed at the sound of my name, "being an annoying little shit as always," Hey! "he's fine Hange. I know how to take care of a damn cat," can't really argue there, I was pretty well taken care of, "Later today, i have to figure out a way to do it without him getting pissed" was he still talking about me? I doubt it, "I'm hanging up now,"
Levi put his phone down and laid on the couch with an arm thrown over his eyes, his other hand was thrown across his stomach. I leapt onto him, making sure not to completely pounce him or he's get mad. I nuzzled my head underneath his hand, pet me goddamn it. I was happy when he started scratched behind my ears, but I didn't start purring until he scratched under my chin. It felt like heaven. Once he went back to my ears I laid down on his stomach, waving my tails so that it rubbed against his side, keeping him warm. I swear if it weren't for me, Levi would have frozen to death by now.
I ended up falling asleep after a while of Levi's petting, he might seem cold and heartless but he had some magically petting skills, I always ended up dozing off if he petted me long enough. I felt myself be lifted and Levi held me close to his chest. I purred and rubbed my head against his chest, but kept my eyes closed. I was very comfortable. I assumed Levi was taking me to the cat bed I never used, I preferred the couch cushions, and I thought I was right until I heard a click and I opened my eyes. That bastard had put me in the carry on.
I never left the apartment, apart from sometimes going to the backyard of the apartment building for some fresh air. And when that bastard took me to the vet, which I knew is where we were going now since that's the only reason he used the carry on. Unless we were going on a trip somewhere, but I knew days in advance when it was a trip.
I sprang up and hissed at Levi as I made my most intimidating stance I could.
"Eren, stop that, it's for your own good," My own good, my ass. You bastard.
Levi picked me up and walked us out the door and into his car. He set me down at the foot of the passenger seat.
You're a real asshole, I hope you know that. I angrily meowed at him. If I were your owner I wouldn't take you to the vet. Do you know what they do there? Things, Levi! Things! Uncomfortable things! They open my mouth and touch me…in places. I cringed at the reminder from last time. I still had nightmares sometimes about the vet. Except in my dreams he was a horse who was trying to stomp on me. Evil vet.
I don't wanna go Levi, I really don't. I'll never lick you again, I'll eat the fake chicken for the rest of my nine lives. I knew it was pointless to try to compromise with Levi, he didn't understand me. But it made me feel better to know that I at least tried to get out of it.
When he stopped driving and picked up the carry on, I moved to the end of it and started shivering with fear.
"Stop being a scaredy cat, Eren. You'll be fine," I was too afraid to even say anything about his stupid cat comment.
Please don't make me go, Levi. I'm not going to be ashamed to admit that I was crying now. And I kept crying and whimpering the entire time we were there, especially during the examination. I was still crying by the time we got back in the car.
By the time we got back home I had calmed down but I refused to leave the carry on and face Levi. I was too mad at him. He had betrayed me. I provided him with warmth and love and he repaid me by taking me to be tortured.
I was in the carry on for an hour, Levi had left the latch open, but I had still refused to get out, even though I was hungry.
"Eren, can you come out now, this is getting ridiculous," Levi was sat on the floor in front of the carry on. He waved the mouse toy I had given him in front of him, near the door, but I knew better. I curled up and buried my head into my stomach, refusing to look at the toy and avoid temptation.
"Please," I felt his hand on my back and I tried to scratch him, but he jerked his hand away so I only managed to give him a tiny scratch on his thumb. I was proud at first, but then Levi started yelling and I started to feel bad.
"Goddamn it, Eren! Do you really think I'd do something to hurt you?!" no, "Do you want to die? I took you to make sure you were healthy and you're not going to randomly drop dead because you have some stupid cat disease I didn't know about," I took a step towards him, I could see he was still bleeding a little from where I had scratched him. I felt bad, I knew he cared about me, but I just really didn't like the vet. He held out the hand I had scratched towards me and I noticed he had real chicken in his hand, and not even the good canned chicken, but real chicken from an actual chicken from the human grocery store. I was tempted to go for the chicken, but instead I started licking the cut, apologizing.
"It doesn't hurt," I'm still sorry, "so you don't have to lick me. I'm fine," he pulled his hand away and pet me with the other hand, "now, do you want the chicken or not?" he held it out to me again. I licked his hand one last time before carefully taking a bite of the chicken, careful to not bite his hand, I didn't want to hurt him anymore. Levi continued to pet me with his hand until he eventually put that hand underneath me to take me out of the carry on, not that I struggled.
He walked me over to the island and let me finish the rest of the chicken, then he walked over to the counter and grabbed more chicken from a plate. He came back and set it down in front of me and kept petting me as I ate, Levi's wasn't a bad guy, just an asshole.
"Don't get mad at me ok?" I was a little surprised when he kissed the top of my head, but i was happy, "I'll forgive you for scratching me since I know you don't like the vet, but we're going again in six months so don't say I didn’t warn you," I kept eating as I listened to him, the chicken was so good and delicious, i decided to ignore the vet comment, for now. Levi picked up my water bowl and set it down next to where the chicken was so I could drink some. He was a good owner, he always knew when I was thirsty.
I knew Levi was being extremely nice today because he was letting me eat on the island, in was nice of him, I know how much he hates me eating somewhere other than that one spot. He was sitting on a stool as he watched me eat. When I was done, I drank some water and walked over to Levi, purring, I wanted him to know I was grateful. I mean, at least we know I don't have some stupid cat disease, and I'm full of chicken. I rubbed my head against his neck as I kept purring, he didn't seem to mind so I put my paws on his shoulder and rubbed the top of my head on his cheek, "alright, Eren, I get it, you're not mad anymore," I licked his face a couple times, before he pushed me away, "no need to act like a dog, If I wanted one, I'd leave you at the pound and go buy one,"
Hey! I'm waaaayyy better than any mangy mutt! I meowed at him, it wasn't angry, more like a playful one since I knew he was just teasing me. I knew a dog didn't fit Levi's personality, I sometimes dream that Levi's a cat, and Erwin's our owner and he pets us and we play together. That would be nice..
Levi picked me up and we went into his room, for a second I thought he was going to put me down on the bed, but I knew better, if Levi had one rule, it was: don't fucking get on my bed. It was the only rule I actually followed because I knew he would throw me out the window if I caught him in a particularly bad mood.
Instead, Levi picked up his blanket and dragged it with us to the living room, turning off the lights as we walked in. He laid down on the couch and placed me on his chest, then he used his blanket to cover his feet all the way up to where he was covering part of my body, I would keep the rest of him warm. He turned on the tv and started watching it as he pet me.
I was too engrossed in the feeling of him petting me that I wasn't paying attention to the television, but it must have been something funny because every now and then, Levi would chuckle. And every time he would chuckle, his chest would move.
He apologized to me the first time he did it (for someone who was constantly asking himself why he's always talking to a cat, he sure does talk to me a lot), but I purred to let him know it was okay. I liked to know he was laughing and I liked to keep him company as he did. I knew he wasn't all that much of a people person, so I had to make up for it and be the best kitty companion for him so he wouldn't be lonely.