CHAPTER 1: clover bullet
Ryan yawned, tears forming in his eyes, while he walked to his desk with Esposito on his heels. They were both holding their coffees, whith they had picked up from the break room. He walked to his desk and sat down with a sight. It was only 3 o'clock but he was already exhausted. Their case wasn't going smoothly and Ryan would have liked the suspect in the interrogation room being guilty. Sadly he alibied out, what brought them to square one. While going through the pictures of evidence taken on the crime scene, Esposito stared at him with a worried look. "Can I help you?" Ryan asked raising one eyebrow. Esposito hesitated before mumbling in a soft voice : "yo bro, you kinda acting off after seeing the corpse of the victim." Ryan gave him a puzzled look, what turned into a teasing smile and answered: "I know that we basically get paid because there are dead bodies out there, but it doesn't mean that I have to smile after every dead body I see." He chuckled weakly. While he looked at Esposito he knew that he didn't buy it, he still seemed worried, but he decided to shove it onto the backseat. Ryan knew that he was going to ask again but later. Esposito opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by his phone. He grabbed for it, while making a 'this is not over' look. Ryan had to admit that he really liked Espo. Ryan frowned while trying to figure out his own thoughts. Esposito is his partner, he didn't want anything to get awkward so he has to act normal. After he and Jenny broke up and she wished him good luck with Esposito he had been speechless. Jenny didn't mean it in a harmful way. Things weren't working anymore between him and Jenny, but she still wished him the best of luck. She was nice and their relationship turned into an trusting friendship. Jenny was positive that he was in love with Espo. Ryan denied it at first but at more thought he found himself guilty. Ryan stared at Esposito while he answered his phone "with Esposito." Esposito listened a few seconds to the caller and slipped his phone back into his pocket. He informed Ryan, Beckett and Castle that Lanie has got something for them. Ryan raised himself out of the comfortable desk chair and grabbed for his jacket, keys and wallet. When he was ready to go, he took one more round of coffee because he really needed the cafeine in his blood. While he walked towards his partner, Ryan knew he was going to get lectured by him because he had another cup. When he got closer, Esposito narrowed his eyes and stared at the coffee in his hands, looked up and stared Ryan right into the eyes. Great now Javi really knows that there's something bothering him. He looked back at Esposito and just simply raised his shoulders and blamed it on a bad day. When Beckett finally called them to follow her, Ryan ran to the elevators and was almost happy to leave the precinct.
When they arrived at the mortuary, Lanie greeted them with a single "hi" and continued looking at some reports. When she was finished Beckett asked what she got for them. "Our friend here died a slow death. He was tortured, and after that they probably gave him a change to run, but the poor guy was soon shot in the back of his head." Castle raised a finger and opened his mouth to say something, but before he could talk, Beckett said in a sharp tone: "don't say that he was part of the CIA and was tortured for information, castle." While giving him a stern look, he dropped his finger and looked very dissapointed. Lanie sighted and rolled her eyes. Esposito stared at the victim and saw that his whole body was covered in bruises and a variety of small and bigger cuts. Lanie continued: " I managed to recover the bullets, they are..... well let's just say that you guys have to look at it." She held a bag with a bullet up into the air. Esposito took it and looked at it. On the bullet there was a kind of family crest. There was a clover on it and a rainbow behind it. Esposito looked at his Irish partner and saw that he was very pale, his blue eyes had widen from the shock. Esposito gave the bullet to Beckett who studied it like her life depended on it. When she looked at it and became pale Esposito knew there was something wrong. He looked at Beckettt while raising his eyebrows, Castle who was also observing her looked worried. Only Ryan was lost in his thoughts to not notice it. Esposito thought that he kind of looked like a kicked puppy. Lanie probably felt the tension so she continued: "I have also some finger prints of the attacker, I found it on the body." With this news the 3 detectives and the writer were on their way to the precinct. In the car Esposito didn't ask questions and Ryan looked out of the window still lost in his thoughts. Esposito knew that he could better asks Beckett what was going on. He couldn't do anything about it right now, so he turned the radio a little bit harder and hummed along the lyrics of the song.
Back at the presinct Esposito walked directly to Beckett's desk and found Castle sitting in her chair. He was probably trying to figure out what happened because he had a puzzled look on his face. When Castle noticed Esposito approaching him he sais: Backett is looking for a folder she said that she had recognized the crest. So the two men were waiting for her. There was a silence until Castle asked: " I understand why Beckett was shocked. It was because she recognized the crest, but that doesn't explain Ryan's weird behaviour. Do you think it has something to do with his undercover operation?" Castle asks not very confined by his theory. "I doubt it, it was another kind of crest." Esposito answered clearly not happy about this confusing situation. He didn't like it that something was bothering Kevin. Esposito was janked out of his thoughts by Backett signing them to come to the dossier room. Esposito looked at his partner sitting at his desk doing some paper work and research. He stood up and walked to Beckett and said annoyed: "oke, explain!"
He waited with his arms crossed and a worried but irritated look on his face. Beckett explained that she had seen the crest before. She opened a file and showed them a photo of a young boy around the age of 12. He had blue eyes, his hair was positioned upwards and had sideburns. On the photo the boy had a cheeky smirk. On the right side of the foto was another foto. Only then the boy was covered in bruises and cuts. He was laying on his belly. Esposito's eyes widened when he saw the burn mark on the boys back in the form of the crest they had found on the bullet. The boy was a little bit older judging by his length, but he couldn't be older then 15. Castle was the one who spoke first: "what was this case about?" His voice sounded shocked. Beckett told them that there was an Irish gang what handled drugs and even children as slaves. This case was in their document room because this boy was found together with a dead body. It is a rather old case. "Did the boy survive?" Asked Esposito in a shaking voice. "Yes, but his whereabouts are unknown." With a concerned look she added: "There is no name stated in this file, he could be anywhere." And after a minute Esposito said what they all didn't dare to ask: "c-could it be t-that Ryan is this k-kid?" He knew damn well that his voice was shaking, but he didn't care. This boy was the perfect image of a younger Kevin. Beckett fronsed "it could be yes, the only way we would know is...." She swollowed. "If he has the crest on his back. Espo you two are so close, did you notice anything?" He always thought it was strange that Ryan always had a t-shirt or a shirt on. He hesitated and said no. "He always wears a shirt." Esposito's head was about to explode so he suggested that they would first locate the owner of the finger prints. They all thought this was a great idea, so they stepped out of the room and went to their own desks. Esposito walked to his partner who was finishing his paper work. He still looked off but he looked better then he did in the mortuary. When Esposito approached his desk, he looked up and gave a big smile. "Almost done Javi, I am planning to finish this so I could fo earlier. If you want, we could drink a beer at your house?" His smile brightened by the idea of having some fun after work. Javier felt very happy because he wanted to offer him a beer after work anyway, and if he was lucky Kevin would cook for him. Since he knows that Ryan is a damn good cook he wants to let him cook for him as much as he can afford. Esposito had a secret. He still kind of denied it because if he would tell it, their friendship will be over and Ryan would hate him. "RYAN, ESPOSITO! CASTLE AND I HAVE A MATCH ON THE FINGER PRINTS. WE ARE GOING TO PAY HIM A VISIT!" Esposito and Ryan chuckled they both thought the same thing: poor guy.
Ryan and Esposito where chatting with each other, they had almost finished their paper work. What was by the way a son of a bitch. When they heared Beckett yelling at a guy, who they had taken into custody. "Probably the man behind the fingerprint" whispered Ryan and Esposito grinned by his partner's remark. Ryan and Esposito turned their heads to the area where the commotion was coming from, they saw Beckett lecturing a rather tall man with blue eyes like Kevin's. Castle was standing behind her flinching evertime she raised her voice. Esposito stared at the suspect with an open mouth, the son of a bitch looked like a taller version of Ryan, although there hair style was different. They both sprung out of their chairs. They were now standing in the path between desks. Esposito tried to make eye contact with Ryan, but Ryan was stunned. Esposito called for Beckett, but then something surprised them all. When the suspect made eye contact with Ryan he smirked and turned to him while he stopped struggling. Ryan was clearly terrified. He slowly took a step backwards, shaking his head in disbelief. The larger man laughed outloud and screamed with an heavy Irish accent: "AY, IF IT AIN'T OUAH LITTL KEVVIE! WE WEHE SEAHCHIN FOAH YA." His laugh turned very dark and whispered loud enough for Kevin to hear him: "we found ya." Then he stormed towards Ryan, while the man was still in cuffs. Esposito's heart raced with terror. Why wasn't Ryan moving? He was just standing there. On the last moment Ryan came back to his senses and dived away dodging the guy by an inch. He rolled towards Esposito who stopped him from crashing into someone's desk. The man charged again but this time Esposito was ready, he stepped over Ryan while he drew his weapon. Beckett had joined him and both of them had their guns pointed towards the man, ready to shoot him. The son of a bitch decided that he didn't want to die so he stopped and got on his knees. What a pity, Esposito really wanted to shoot the dickhead who insulted his partner. Ryan was sitting against the desk, his hands trembling. He was trying to hide it what Esposito thought was kind of cute if it wasn't for this situation. The man had his gaze on Ryan and sung: "you ain't escapin us." Esposito couldn't hold it in anymore so he hit the bastard in the face while telling him to be silence. The man was taken to the hold cells. Luckily it was late so a lot of people had already gone home. Ryan whined softly: "oh, no." He was looking at something behind Esposito, so when he turned around and saw Gates walking into their direction he sighted. She was definately not happy.
CHAPTER 2: The past behind closed doors.
Gates was furious, but the two partners stood ground when they said that the suspect went out of control without a reason. Beckett confirmed it. Esposito got afterwards furious glares for making her lie to Gates. Ryan was pale and he had not said anything since the accident. Esposito, Beckett and Castle were going to talk about it after work. So when their shifts ended, they all headed to one of Castle's bar near the precinct. Esposito stared the whole time to Ryan who was staring at his shoes and biting his lip. When they almost reached Castle's bar they heared tires shrieking through the almost empty street. They turned around and saw 2 mini vans riding on the street on their left sides. It went a little bit too fast for Esposito. The vans stopped. Ryan screamed. Men took Beckett out first. Pushed her into the van. Castle was the second. Esposito tried to protect the hyperventilating Ryan. Too many. got hit. Heared Ryan screaming his name, "Javi!!!!" Another voice sickly singing. "KEVVIE, WE HAVE FOUND YA!!!!. Darkness.
Ryan eyes felt heavy. He tried to open them. Failed. Tried again. "Uugh my head hurts." Ryan was shocked by his own voice, it sounded husky. When he finally opened his eyes, everything was blurry. It meant nothing but trouble. Still not really aware of what was happening he tried to move. He tried to moved his hands. Something was holding them together above his head, something made out of metal. He tried to move his legs. He felt with surprise that his feet could barely touch the ground. He closed his eyes again. The moment he started to drift away he heard something... NO! Not something someone! It was terribly fimilair too.... "KEV! KEV! PLEASE DON'T SLEEP, STAY WITH ME!" Huh Esposito? Ryan managed to mumble: "Javi, ten more minutes!" An awfully fimilair laugh sounded across the room. "YOU ARE STILL CUTE, SONNIE" Ryan's eyes shot open. He knew that voice. He was totally awake now. When his vision wasn't blurry anymore he looked around searching for the source of the terrible sound. It was an empty room with a box on his left side near his feat. He first spotted Esposito, Beckett and Castle all bound to chairs facing his way on his right side. They all looked worried but glad he was alive. "Huh guys, why are you there and I am here?" Still confused Ryan totally forgot the voice. He heared Javi telling him that everything was going to be fine. Then a door slammed opened on Ryan's left side. Ryan felt his blood draining from his face. Goosebumps were forming on his arm. Oh shit he thought, they found him!
Ryan knew that he started hyperventilating when the man approached. He had a brown/orange hair,very short. He was a few inches taller then he was but he was.... bigger. He knew the guy awfully well. Ryan struggled trying to free himself, with no luck. "Fuck, William Dwyer. Never thought I would see you again!" Ryan mumbled, it didn't sound very strong but rather weak. Dwyer laughed, a hateful and low laugh. "Kevvie Ryan, you have grown up sonnie. You became quit the handsome fella have ya! Ya even got youself a bunch of friends! For a second he turned to Esposito and grinned. Ryan saw Esposito's face full of hate. "I swear don't you fucking touch them!" Ryan hissed at him. "Oh! Tha littl boy has gron up, have ya? Well shall littl old me tell you guys a nice story, about an naughty boy and a gang." He turned around to see Ryan's reaction. He was still trying to free himself while he bit on his lip. He tried so hard to avoid a panic attack. No he didn't want to think about the past, the past should have been erased. Dwyer laughed and turned to the others. Esposito was trying to glare a hole into the bastards back, Ryan noticed. Dwyer took the remaining chair and sat in front of the crowd. "Well where do we start this amazin story." He smirked when he saw that Ryan had stopped struggling and now closed his eyes. He had enough of this bullshit. He wanted to kick Dwyer into his face. He heared Castle trying to get some information about Dwyer. Beckett answered that he is a mob boss from Ireland, the one who traits drugs and children. Ryan suddenly heared Esposito screaming, he sounded amazingly angry but also kinda hot. "SON OF A BITCH, IS THIS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH RYAN? DID YOU SELL HIM FOR FUCKING MONEY!!! IS HE THE ONE WHO WAS FOUND TOGETHER WITH THE DEAD BODY. HE WAS, WASN'T HE?" Ryan hated his past and that's why he didn't want to hear any of it. But he almost lost it when Dwyer laughed and just simply said "yes." Castle and Javi were now yelling at him while Beckett probably glared at him. Ryan still refused to open his eyes, he didn't want to believe he was here. He heared a slap and heared Javi cursing in another language. Ryan couldn't take it anymore, he was furious he opened his eyes wich were full of hatred, eyes who belong to a killer. The eyes of his past.
The moment he opened his eyes Ryan knew that he had lost against Dwyer. Esposito and Castle suddenly turned quiet and Beckett stopped glaring. They were all looking at Ryan who was glaring at Dwyer, with his murderous eyes. Dwyer started talking against the 3 bound to a chair, while still looking at Ryan. "You laids see this kind of eyes I was talkin about. When this boy was little, my gang killed his biological Parents ight in front of his eyes. They had to pay but couldn't. So I killed m off. After wards I kidnapped him and his olda brothah. The one you feds arrested." Ryan could feel the anger growing in his eyes. Also some tears started to form in the corner of his eyes. He remember everthing too good. "SOOO I wanted to sell those littl scumbags, but the boy here ,who is just hangin around, proofed himself useful. The laid killed and stole on my command, foah only bein twelve he was a good one. To obey he got som lessons, ask his scahs. If you see his back u will believ me. While Dwyer walked towards him he started to struggle to keep him away. He tried to kick the fella away but Dwyer got one in into his stomach. Air was blown out of Ryan's lungs. He stopped struggling and lowered his head. Dwyer turned him around and lift his shirt. Esposito, Beckett and Castle gasped. The tears what had formed in the corner of his eyes started falling.
Esposito couldn't believe this, when the jerk lifted Ryan's shirt Esposito had stopped breathing. He was shocked. There were many scares, too many. When the dickbag started talking again Esposito had started shaking in anger. "You laids know what I am the most proud of..." Dwyer lifted the right side of the t shirt more and Esposito tried to break free and murder the son of a bitch. What he saw was a scar in the form of the crest what they found on the bullet. Castle cursed and Kate said that she would stalk him till he died by her own hands. This made the son of a bitch more happier so he likked the scar. Ryan struggled to get him away while trembling in fear. Esposito screamed in a loud and husky voice: "SON OF A BITCH, DON'T YOU DARE! DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HIM!" He heared some sobs and Ryan whispering: "s-son of a bitch,"
It broke Esposito's heart ,he could do nothing but watch! Dwyer turned Ryan around again, what didn't help. He was very pale, had his eyes closed and silently cried. Tears were slowly running down his jaw, Esposito could see that he was trying to stop them. Then he suddenly opened his eyes and kicked Dwyer against his head, what knocked him down to the ground. Esposito laughed and said: "Ryan is different now, is stronger and he has us, he has me!" Ryan responded with his favourite oneliner: "until the wheels fall off, bro." Esposito smiled. "Until the wheels fall off."
Ryan knew that he wasn't that scared little kid anymore. He has friends and had training! He was a cop, a homicide detective, and a good one too! He has Javi who will always like him for who he is! He kind of blushed by what he said, even in his head it sounds corny. So when he kicked Dwyer to the ground he smiled, knowing that Javi will be there made him stronger. Dwyer was certainly not happy ! When he stood up, he walked to the box and opened it. "Ryan, I have your favourite toy! You liked it in the past!" He smirked knowing that Ryan didn't like it at all! Ryan turned pale by the sight of the whip. Esposito cursed in another language again, Castle tried to say something but it got stuck in his throat. Kate stared Dwyer into his eyes and spoke in a clear voice: "Dwyer I am going to hunt you down. Nobody touches my squad. You know what no one touches my family, so don't you dare hurt my little brother." Ryan looked at Beckett with a Suprised look into his eyes. He felt so happy that they cared so much about him. He looked at them with a bright smile. Motivating thoughts filled his mind. He can endure this. He will not cave! Not by his hand. For the sake of his friends, no his family! He closed his eyes and tried to breath normal when the whip hit him on his back.
Gates was worried sick! Where could they have gone to? Their shifts had started 1 hour ago. Detective Beckett, Ryan and Esposito were never late without a call! She was aware of her nickname Iron Gates, she couldn't care less! Although the nickname, it doesn't mean that she doesn't care about her agents! She thought back, where could they gave gone to? It started with the suspect acting weird toward detective Ryan. She suddenly remembers hearing something about Castle's bar! She searched for the nearest bar owned by mister Castle. It was only 10 minutes from here. So she collected her stuff and walked to the bar. A few meter before she reached the bar she found, as she remembered correctly, Beckett's phone on the side of the sidewalk. Her fears were true after all! She stormed into the bar and showed her badge to the bar tender. When she told him that his boss was in trouble he voluntary worked alongside the police. They checked the security footage and saw the abduction. She noted down the type of van, and both the number plates. She went back to the 12th precinct and had someone check the security footage from the time of the abduction. This led her to an old stores house near the river in the older part of the city, not many miles away. She was lucky that the CIA wanted to help her with searching. Apparently Beckett and Castle had done things for the CIA and they owned them a favour. She went with a team to the old store house hoping she wasn't too late!
Ryan could feel his conciousness slipping away. He had lost count of how many hits he got. On his back, belly, legs, arms, everywhere! Dwyer janked him out if his thoughts with an iron bar, what was heated. It burned on his skin. His head was very light. It was difficult to keep breathing. Eyelids were so heavy! But he heared Esposito screaming againt, something about not giving up. He has to do this. He has to stay awake!
Esposito couldn't do anything his arms were tied behind his back against the chair he was sitting on. They were just sitting here watching Ryan suffer. He couldn't take it anymore, he was so furious! Dwyer has al different kinds of torture devices. From whips to siggares to knifes. Esposito didn't dare to look away! His eyes were locked in the almost empty, blue eyes. He knew that Ryan could faint any moment. So he yelled like a little boy: " IT'S ENOUGH YOU SON OF A BITCH! HE HAD ENOUGH! LET HIM GO! LET HIM GODAMMID GO!!!" He could see Ryan smiling weakly by his words. Dwyer raised an eye brow and laughed darkly. "Oh I see, Kevvie. You lucky bastard, got u self a nice boyfriend. Im thinkin' tha am ganna ruin it for ya!" Ryan shivered and mumbled weakly: "you nt gan touch hm. Fucn kl ya." Dwyer laughed again, louder this time. "If yu littl scum want youah boyfriend alive, ur ganna work foah me." Esposito shivered by the thought that he would lose Ryan forever. So he screamed:" TAKE MY GODAMMID LI....." Suddenly there were a few loud bangs and everyone turned their attention to the door. What they didn't expect was that Gates would be on the other side of it. "NYPD, DROP THE FUCKING GUN AND WHIP. PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND GET ON YOUR KNEES!" Dwyer was not stupid so he dropped his 'tools' and got on his knees. Gates secured him before turning her attention to the Ryan. "GET SOMEONE FROM MEDICAL CARE HERE! THERE IS ONE WOUNDED AGENT!" She first freed Beckett because she can still use her head. Beckett freed Castle and Gates freed Esposito who basically jumped from the chair and raced towards Ryan and the medical care. After he was sure he was still alive he walked to Dwyer. Castle and Beckett runned towards him, but not with the intention to stop him. Gates chuckled slightly by seeing them all coming up for each other. Beckett first knelt down and said: "you bastard can rot away in jail," and punched him in the face. Castle smirked and said winking at Beckett: "is it very bad that I am turned on right now." Of course she laughed and blushed a little. Then Esposito decided that it was his turn. He first bitchslapped him in the face and afterwards kicked him in his stomach. Dwyer 's face twisted in pain. When Javier saw the medical care leaving with Ryan, he decided that he wanted to go with him instead of staying here. Beckett, Castle and Gates followed him, Castle was begging Gates that he could use this in his new book. Gates clearly annoyed by this, walked straight to her car, to follow the ambulance. Beckett and Castle walked to Beckett's car. While Beckett and Castle entered the car to ride to the hospital, Castle asked in a deep and worried voice: "He is going to be fine right?" Kate looked at him with a small smile and said:" it's our Kevin where you are talking about." He laughed. Beckett leaned closer and said in a small,warm voice: "thank you, for being you." She surprised him with a kiss. When the kiss was over she said: "let's go to the hospital, Gates is probably wondering why we are taking so long."
Ryan wished the doctor and nurses Goodluck and left the hospital. He's finally fully healed. Luckily nothing was broken, so his stay in the hospital was very short. He was told by his friends that their view of him wouldn't change. He was so happy, he could jump a hole into the sealing. Tomorrow he would go to the precinct again. He kind of missed the place. While he was waiting for his drive to arrive he looked back at the hospital, hoping that he could leave fast. His thoughts were interrupted by 2 warm and strong arms embracing him into a sudden hug. He smiled when he looked up to see Esposito's face. "Javi, you are late!" Whined Ryan with a big grin on his face. "Sorry sorry, honey milk, traffic was a son of a bitch. Let's go celebrate at my house, ke bro?" Ryan smiled by the inventation and got into the car.
Ryan became more nervous every second they came closer to Esposito's apartment. Today was the day, he was not going to run away anymore. So when Javi opened the door of the apartment he was almost trembling because he was so nervous. Esposito noticed that Ryan was still standing in front of the closed front door, even after they had entered the apartment. He was biting on his lip and looking at his feet. "Hey uuhm Kev, you okey bro?" Ryan looked up, his cheeks becoming a little red. Esposito saw Ryan and couldn't tear his eyes of him. He was so cute and handsome at the same time. "Javi.... uuhm this may sound a bit corny but... You know.... Uuuhm. I have to tell you that... that." Ryan looked down to his feet again and closed his eyes and suddenly rattled very fast:"ILOVEYOU." Ryan was relieved that he finally said it but Javi kept quiet so Ryan was very scared he would refuse him or worse.... hate him.
Esposito saw Ryan opening one eye to look at him.
Ryan didn't believe what he saw. Esposito was laughing brightly with tears in the corner of his eyes. "Javi? You ok...." His words starved into the passion of the kiss. Ryan was first stunned but after he realised what happened he went with the flow. Javi didn't reject him! He accepted his feeling! When the kiss came to an end, Javi guilted them to the bedroom and whispered: "I love you too."