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The Slayer and the Burgler

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There was a human girl, pretty if Bilbo was any judge, standing in the gateway of a crumbled watchtower that sat on the edge of Ravens Hill. She had one hand touching the stone of the tower as she gazed north, as if sensing the approaching army.

"Who's that?" she asked, turning suddenly as Bilbo approached.

He had just enough time to duck behind a rock and remove the ring, before stepping out to face her.

"Hello, umm, I'm Bilbo, who are you?"


She didn't look dangerous, but Bilbo kept his distance. You never really knew with big folk. He decided that she must be one of the refugees from Lake Town.

"You had probably get back down to Dale. I know it looks bad down there, but there's another army approaching this way. It's going to get a lot worse up here soon."

"Are you going back down?"

"No, well, you see. My friends are up here. I need to warn them."

Her face did something strange when he mentioned friends. It lost the expression of slight suspicion softening into a small smile, but at the same time her shoulders straightened up as if in resolve.

"An army you say?"

"Yes, of orcs from Gundabad, so you see you should really..."

Buffy grinned and swung a large tube onto her shoulder. "It's a good job I brought a rocket launcher then."

Bilbo nodded as if this made total sense and hoped fervently that, if he went along with it long enough, everything would become clear. It often did. She turned north and started walking.

"How did you get up here?" he asked as he trotted along behind.

"Hell-mouth. Interdimensional portal. Demons. You know the kind of thing."

"No, no, I really don't."

"Never mind. Let's rescue your friends."