Her tiny cry filled the room they occupied, the nurse doing all she could to soothe the elven child. Solas blue eyes venturing up every so often,watching the nurse and his small child.
Not his alone, but they were alone together. Each missing a piece. Again her sharp cry filled the room. Agitation and frustration bubbling to the surface. “Can you handle her or not?!” he spat at the nurse.
Her expression embarrassed as she stammered for an answer as the infant wailed still in her arms. Solas lips pursed along his face, making a hard line. Taking a deep breath and releasing it just as quick he held up his hand at the woman.
“Apologies. It isn't your fault. Please leave us, I'll tend to her”
“Yes of course” she stammered placing the small warm bundle in his arms. Leaving quickly as she shut the door behind her. Leaving him with the small fussing infant.
He sighed looking down at her, she looked like her mother. Dark locks and lavender eyes, rare even among his people. Her crying slowly turned to small babble as she gnawed on his gloved finger.
“Hungry are we?” he asked the child. He knew he wouldn't get an answer but it was too quiet in the room. He had to fill the space. Sitting at the edge of the bed he nudged the tip of the Druffalo horned bottle into his daughters mouth. The slight sound of her steady suckling filling the air. He felt the warm trickle of contentment as he held her. Feeding her, watching her small hand grip his.
But still the ripple of sadness washed over him. Memories of Bi and their time together. Her smile, her soft words.
A tear escaping down his cheek, quickly he wiped it away breaking the child's hold on the bottle. Gentle placing her along his shoulder, burping her with a slight pat on her tiny back.
“So it will be just the two of us then. Hmm...Eleniel” he said using the name her mother had left her. It meant star in her mother's tongue.
“How fitting” he spoke placing her back along his chest. Gently his knee bounced, rocking her against him. Looking down at her small face. He could see his world change a little. Could see the anguish she brought him. But also the love that came with her, all that love that Bi had left him.
His heart constricting at the thought of her. He wished he had been with her in her final moments. To help her bring their child into the world. It all ate at his heart.
The room shifted slightly revealing a spirit it's form contorting and changing like moving liquid. Solas waited in silence as the spirit formed itself. A shimmering figure of light blue stood across from the father and daughter. It's head tilted to the side as it took in the intimate scene.
“What can I do for you friend?” he asked his voice holding the evidence of the emotion that clung to him.
The color of the spirit shifted as it moved resembling Silverite metal. Again it stopped colors shifting and reflecting the candlelight, it's light sparkling around the room. A light green hue settling over its form. A hand raised pointing to an object that sat on his desk.
Solas rose to his feet gently, careful to not wake Eleniel. A raised brow met the spirit's gaze but he only shifted his eyes to the items that laid across his desk. Maps, crystals, and many notes from his command. Among these things he knew what the spirit had meant. The small purple crystal that had accompanied his small daughter.
"This was also with her, thought it was most likely meant for you both" Bulls voice echoing in the back of his mind.
He hadn't had the courage to activate it yet. Too afraid what was held in the small gem.
It commanded. Solas eyes narrowed as he looked back to the spirit. How rare it was to find a motherly spirit. But that wasn't the point at this time.
She repeated her tone soft and pleading matching her flickering colors. He couldn't help but sigh as he reached out to the crystal. The tingle of magic responding to him. Guilt formed in the pit of his stomach. He should have listened to this sooner. He shouldn't have needed the spirits push. But he missed her, and he wasn't sure he could handle that.
“Thank you, I'll” he stopped looking down at the crystal. The feeling growing and rumbling like a wave pulling back, only to come crashing into him with more force.
“Try” he finished. A flicker of color splashed across the spirit. Just as quick as it had appeared it was gone.
His gaze back on the crystal in hand as he wandered back to his bed, Eleniel in tow. Her small even breaths soothing the anxiety that was leaking to the surface from within in him. Gritting his teeth together and swallowing the lump in his throat he let his magic trigger the crystal finally.
His heart constricted. He could hear her breathing deep labored breaths. But even as his heart sat bound by listening to her again, he could still hear the smile on her lips and it eased his aching heart. And then he heard it the sound that could break his heart and mend it all in the same moment.
He was speechless hearing his name on her lips. The lump formed in the back of his throat once again.
A light but exhausted chuckle resounded around him. Her laugh.
”Ah thank the creator this is working” She sighed, her voice clearly tired.
”I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Eleniel. Oh right I already named her. Sorry I know selfish to pick all by myself” again a small laugh. He couldn't help smiling himself. Even if a bit half hearted. His finger trailing down his daughter's cheek.
”I won't go into why or whatever. There is no point." her cheeriness was gone. He felt cold and sick without it now. The feeling in his gut rolled again making him feel sick.
”You should have Eleniel by now. I know Bull will do the right thing. So please Ma Vhenan."45c again he had trouble swallowing let alone breathing. To hear her call him that, too know that even separated she had remained his. It was almost too much.
”Keep her safe, love her. She is proof old and new can survive together.” her pleading request. Of course even with her last words she would try to save him.
"I love you Solas"
He could hear the smile on her lips, the slight stirring of his daughter. Another chuckle from his love.
”Ah she's hungry”
He couldn't hold back a smile at her eagerness to motherhood. Soon the crystal filled with her voice as she sang to thier daughter an old Dalish lullaby.
His daughter cooed gently in her sleep content in her father's arms, her mother's gentle voice around her. Slowly her singing slowed only leaving her labored breath sounding within the crystal.
”Goodnight my loves” her last goodbye all too soon all too short. The crystals gentle hue gone.
Solas grit his teeth, his emotions rolling through him like a thunderous storm. Only his daughter's tiny breathing kept the storm at bay. But letting the rainfall to water the ground. His tears straining his cheeks as he replayed her voice over and over.
He would not dishonor her again, he would keep their daughter safe.
He would create a New Beginning.