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the laws of physics

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Alphys’ tail was swinging back and forth behind her, like it always did when she was nervous. She drummed her yellow claws on the black top of the lab station as Undyne read the assignment aloud.

“Calculate the vertical acceleration of each ball at point B - fuck if I know how to do that - on each of the following planets given their gravitational constants: Mercury, Mars, Saturn-”

“Undyne, don’t you think we’re a little unprepared for this lab?”

She looked up from the paper. “Why would you think that?”

“Well, you know, we’ve missed a lot of class…doing…you know…”

Undyne bared her teeth in a terrifying grin. “Doing what?”

Alphys shifted uncomfortably.

Doing what?” Undyne repeated, leaning closer to Alphys until they bumped foreheads.

You know-”

“I seem to have forgotten-”

Making out in the handicapped bathroom, okay! We’re both behind in class because we’ve been skipping to go do…you know!”

Undyne smirked. “And whose idea was you know, Alphys?”


“And whose lab partner am I?”


“That’s right! So it’s on both of us now.” Undyne thumped Alphys on the back, sending the lizard into a fit of coughing and fumbling for her inhaler as she climbed onto one of the stools and hoisted the bowling ball high in the air. “Besides, how hard can it be? It’s an equivalent exchange of forces! Just like in Fullmetal Alchemist!”

Undyne get down off the lab station-”

“RRAAGGH!” Shouting her battle cry, Undyne let the bowling ball drop. It slammed into the floor inches from Alphys’ toes, and a muffled commotion of protest rose up from the classroom beneath theirs.

“UNDYNE!” roared their massive teacher.

Alphys’ frantic “Sorry, Mr. Dreemu-” was cut off by another crash as Undyne dropped the five-kilogram weight from a similar height.

At the next lab station over, Mettaton was holding Frisk up high in the air to drop the ball. He glanced over, and raised a metal eyebrow in concern. “Darling, whatever are you doing over there?”

“Our best,” Alphys groaned.

Sadly, it was the truth.