Sans was afraid. Very, very afraid but also extremely tired. They were dead. In just one day, in just a few minutes, he had lost them all. Parz and Saz who’d gone through hell and never fully recovered; Pyru, who fought so bravely and passionately even while he was turning to dust to stop the human. Little Suny and Papyrus who’d never done anything wrong, the two of them were harmless and wouldn't hurt a fly. And yet, all of them were now dead, turned to dust.
All of them by the hand of the human. Uncle Fellby was most likely dead too. If they were lucky, Grillby and Swabby were hidden away somewhere, surviving.
This would destroy them too.
He had fought this damn human for so long. He was so tired.
That damn human looked at him, eyes red with determination.
He would die.
Just... just one minute. Please.
The knife came down. Dodge. A second knife. Hit.
It didn't matter how much. One HP, One Def, no matter how much damage the human would have inflicted, he was done for.
“W...welp...”, he said, still grinning. There was no way he’d go down crying. He would die brave like his brothers. “I... I'm going to Grillbys... P...Pap...?” He could almost see him.. no, not just Papyrus. He swore he could see them all standing in front of him. “B...Brothers... do... you... want... anything?”
Parz and Saz with their fiery red eyes but subtle love, Pyru with his lazy smile and kind eyes, Suny with his bright smile and big, blue eyes full of wonder and in the middle of them, Papyrus, holding his arms open for him, waiting. There too was Fellby standing behind them, his hands resting upon Parz and Saz shoulders. His family.
“G...gu...ys...” He reached out to them though he couldn’t quite …
He collapsed. Everything was black. It didn't hurt anymore.
And then he woke up.
“AAAAAAhhhhh!”, Sans came up from sleep like a drowning man to the surface. His scream rang out, loud and clear. After a second, he noticed that he was not the only one screaming.
Everything hurt! What just happened, what was that? ohgodhewasdead, everybodywasdead, help!
Suddenly, there were arms around him. Warm magic he knew like his own hummed against his core. A soft voice, he was sure he wouldn’t ever hear again, spoke to him.
“Sans, its okay, shhh... calm down, calm down, I'm here...”
Whatever miracle gave him his brother back, he wouldn’t question it. He just hugged him, vowing to never let go. Papyrus held on just as strong. Sans just hoped that Papyrus wouldn't mind the tears that soaked his shirt.
It lasted quite a while before the world begun to expand to more than Papyrus' arms. He could hear soft whispering from the other end of the room. His siblings were here too.
Pyru had Suny in his arms, holding on to him and shaking so badly that Sans thought he would break down at any moment. He kept mumbling soft words and Suny, looking spooked but with great resolve, did his best to comfort him.
On his other side were Parz and Saz. Saz was sobbing. It wasn't a pretty sight. He was bawling his eyes out, holding onto Parz, shaking hard and looking at so much in despair broke Sans' heart. Parz looked completely weirded out. Sans couldn't hold it against him. Three of his sibling just woke from sleep crying and freaked out and Saz looked like he was breaking down FAST and HARD.
It just was hard to do something about it when he himself was feeling on verge of another breaking down. He just hoped that Parz would keep himself together... god, why did the other even freak out like this? Why was Sans himself so freaking out?
White noise was filling his head again as the pictures flashed in front of his eyes. Dust and Snow. Water and Lava. Watching as everyone died. It seemed so real. But... it couldn't be, they were all here!
“Shhh... Sans, it’s alright. I am here, we are all here...”
Voices filled in slowly. Sans blinked and his focus shifted again to his brother, who was still hugging him.
“Papyrus?” he questioned, voice hoarse. Had he screamed that much?
“Sans!” There was so much worry on Papyrus' face. Oh god, he felt bad all over. “Sans, shhh... calm down, okay? What happened? Was... was it a nightmare? You and Saz and Pyru just started screaming and we couldn’t get you to wake up… we didn't know what to do!”
“I...” begun Sans but he didn't know how to explain. He looked at his brothers again, Pyru looking calmer but still high strung with tear-tracks on his cheeks and Saz still very much in the process of breaking down. At least Parz was still with him.
“I... I think it... was a nightmare?” he mumbled. “But... it was so real...”
“A night terror, bro?”
Sans could hear Pyru mumbling something about being sorry that he couldn't protect his family, couldn't keep them safe and Saz was muttering incomprehensibly but a few words could be understood. Sans got the impression that Saz was apologising that he couldn't avenge them, that he was to weak and he was sorry… it broke something inside of Sans to see his brothers in this amount of distress.
It also broke him because it rang all too familiar. He had to talk to them as soon as he could, but he had the suspicion that they had the same horrible dream.
“Come on, Sans... let's make a pile...”
Sans blinked. The world moved around him as he was picked up. Somehow, Parz and Saz were suddenly at his side, Pyru and Suny at the other. And Papyrus still at his back. Sans felt himself relax a bit. They were all here, his siblings were all here and alive and he could feel their magic encircling him. They were there and not dust and everything was all right and... and...
He would not let anybody touch his sibling!!
The next day was... awkward. They were still in a pile, half of them shifted. Saz was still a mess, teary-eyed and whining; Suny was alternating between hugging him and Pyru before finally settling with wrapping an arm around each of them tightly. Parz still seemed weirded out, consistantly looking over to Papyrus and Suny for help. And Pyru was still uncharacteristically high-strung. He would jump at the smallest noises, shake all over and rattle his bones at any given moment and would become paranoid as soon as Suny left his vision.
So, of course, they talked about it. Saz was hesitating at first, but finally joined in halfway through their conversation. It seemed like their dreams matched. A human fell into the underground and started killing monsters left and right. The dream ended for any of them at the point they were killed, brutally so. It all came together as one big story.
But how could that be? Something like this… was impossible... right?
“Wait!” growled Parz, frowning harshly. “You mean to tell me in this... shared dream thing, I kicked to bucket after little Marshmallow-puppy here?”
“I don’t believe you! I am strong!” Parz huffs, puffing out his chest. “I wouldn't fall that easy!”
“Dude, that was a human.” said Sans, sighing. “And they killed all of us.”
“I would have killed them! You all dreamed me wrong!”
“I don't know if it was a dream...” mumbled Pyru, his shoulders trembling. “It seemed to... real. To detailed.” There was a beat of silence. “I... I really need a smoke soon.”
“Urgh, do that outside.” grumbles Papyrus.
“Okay.” Pyru sighed out softly, grinning lazily.
Parz was standing up too, looking a little to glad to escape the death grip that Saz had on him. “I'm coming too. I need a bit fresh air after all the crazy in here.”
Pyru just shrugged.
Pyru took out one of his cigarettes and lit it up, taking a deep drag. Being a skeleton had its ups. No lungs meant no danger of hurting them. And he could already feel how the herbs and magic calmed him down. He looked sideways at Parz, who seemed to be a mix between angry and confused.
“Hey? Want one?” he offered and Parz took him up for the offer. They smoked for a while in silent, both of them watching the smoke slowly rising between them.
“You know, you should talk to Saz” Pyru commented after a while. “I think he is really freaked out right now”
“Prissy little idiot could take some manning up.” Parz scoffs, squaring his shoulders as he glared at the rising smoke.
“Dude, I was freaked out! I’m still freaked out! This isn't something you just walk away from.” protests Pyru frowning. “Do you have any idea of what it feels like to watch your family go up in dust?” he begun shaking again. “I was the one who found Suny and you...”
“It shouldn't have been me, dammit!” Parz shouted. “I should have been able to kill one stupid human.”
“BUT I AM THE STRONG ONE!” Parz screamed. “WHY DO YOU AND SANS REMEMBER BUT NOT ME? WHY DOES MY BROTHER REMEMBER BUT NOT ME? I SHOULD BE ABLE TO KILL THIS FUCKER!”
Pyru was still starring at him. “Parz...”
“Shut up! Shut your stupid mouth, I don't wanna hear it! I am as strong as you and Sans, so why was I the second one to die? Why didn't I protect you?!?”
“I... I think you saw or found Suny.” said Pyru slowly. “You had his scarf...”
“It should have been me who remembered...”
“Dude, it is like it is.” Pyru sighed out as looked at Parz, his face becoming serious. “And you know that Saz is strong.”
“He got killed! He is weak! He will always be weak! He just has one HP and...”
“Did you ever consider, that he can't help his one HP?” questions Pyru. “We will never understand what you two went through, but Saz isn't weak. He’s pretty strong. He has magic like me and Sans.”
“WHY DON'T I?”
“WHY CAN'T I PROTECT HIM?”
“... dude, you... god, you have issues.”
“No, seriously. The two of you should talk. Like… yesterday. I'm telling you, Saz is pretty strong but he is spread out thin. He doesn't have as much control like me and Sans so he… holds back. He loves you and what happened in that dream… it really messed with him. Just do the good thing and be the brother you’re supposed to be!”
“Oh for stars sake, have you ever looked at Saz? He is exhausted all the time! His magic is putting a strain on him and he is an emotional mess. He loves you and I'm pretty sure you love him to, but you know what? He needs to hear that from time to time! Just hug him and tell him you are there for him, its not fucking rocket science! God, he’s worse off than Sans and you KNOW how he gets sometimes! Just... just go to him, give him a damn hug and be there for him!”
“Do not tell me how to live my life!”
“I'm not telling you how to live your life, I'm telling you how not to fuck up somebody you care about, you numbskull!”
Pyru was seething with anger and Parz had to confess, he was a bit afraid now. He had never seen his brother looking like this.
“Listen to me for once in your damn life!” Pyru hissed, dangerously close to shifting. “You are hurting Saz and not in a way that will ever heal if you don't get your shit together. I’ll tell you right now, this is dangerous. Saz could fall down from this shit! It has nothing to do with him being weak or you being weak, it has everything to do with being hurt a LOT of times and this could be the last straw! So get a bag and start collecting your shit; get it all together, pack it all up and you take your shit and go to your brother! Just… just sort your shit out. I want that you both have the best organized shit in the whole Underground by the end of the day. Understood?”
“Oh for god sakes! JUST STOP BEING A COWARD AND TALK TO HIM!”
Parz stared in the glowing orange eyes of Pyru, who looked completely different from his normal ‘chill’ self. He got up quickly and hurried inside. Damn, his brother could be scary when he wanted to!
He found Saz sitting in their room. Papyrus was with him, trying his hardest to cheer him up but he still looked pretty stressed. Parz swallowed heavily. Despite everything, yeah, he loved his siblings. Each of them. And Saz... Saz just understood, okay? He didn't need to say all that mushy stuff. They went through hell and back! They been through it all… together. But...
Was he somehow hurting Saz in a way that wouldn't heal? What was that suppose to mean?
Papyrus noticed him and waved him over. “Oh, Parz! Come here, we have just started to read a book together!”
He held up a book about some astro-science stuff and Parz opened his mouth to commend that he wouldn't do this nerd shit but stopped short when he saw Saz's expression. There was a small glimmer of... hope? Did he really like those sort of books? But... hadn't Saz always said that he hated science and all that stuff, that he wasn't a nerd like Sans and Suny? He always went along when Parz expressed his opinion of...
Oh goddamn shit! Did... did he take away the things his brother enjoyed?
You know, like the science..?
“P-2, what do you have there? Do you enjoy that? Well, we can't have that!”
“Uh... that’s nice.” he finally says and sits down beside Saz who looked so... afraid. Was he afraid he would disappear? Or was he afraid of Parz? Oh shit, since when? When did that happened? Was he really that bad?
Saz looked at him confused and a bit upset, surely asking himself why Parz was staring at him like that.
“Saz? “ Parz began, voice shaking a bit. “Tell me... am I… a bad... brother?”
Parz was glad that Papyrus opted to stay in the background.
Saz was starring at him. “What? No!” he cried out. “You... you are cool and strong and you were always there for me and you gave me my name and… and in... in the lab you were there and... and...”, he stuttered and Parz saw how shaken he really was. There were tears again and shit, shit, shit, he couldn't DEAL with this! Why had his brother become such a crybaby, but... but he had to.
“Get your shit together.”
“No, bro.” said Parz quietly. “... did... did I ever make you stop doing things you really enjoy?” Saz paused and that was all Parz needed to know. “Did I… hurt you?” Saz looked away. “Did... did I things like...”
Saz was hugging him, crying again. It was disgusting and so weak, but Parz could feel himself tearing up too. He wrapped his arms around his brother’s waist and held tightly. There was no way he’d let anybody see him like this! “Saz... I... I really care about you” he mumbled. “... you know that… right?”
“I'm sorry... I’m sorry… I'm so weak... I'm sorry... I’m sorry…” Saz cries out, beginning to repeat himself. “…sorry… sorry… I’m sorry…”
Oh shit, oh shit, had he broken his bro? Parz really was beginning to panic now. What was up with him, he was never like this, not even in the lab!
“It's... it's okay, bro. You're… not weak. You are my brother after all.” Parz said. “I don't have weak brothers. All my brothers are strong. You... you too, okay?”
He didn't get anything more out of him until Saz was asleep. Parz was still holding him, feeling completely out of his element. What should he do? Papyrus wasn't there anymore, surely having went to the others hours ago... god, this was so awkward!!
He really, REALLY hoped Uncle Fellby would be over today.
Surely, the fire elemental would have some sort of advice… He would know how to deal with this… right?