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Being sorry was not enough

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Listen to me you bloodsucking freak

Sam sat in his room quietly, holding the phone in his hands. He stared forward, letting the words wash over him. His finger still hovered above the play button he had pressed seconds ago, playing the already memorized voicemail again.

Dad always said I'd either have to save you or kill you

He tried to calm his breathing, listening closely to the angry, betrayed voice of his brother. He had failed Dean so many times; with Ruby, Lucifer... All the lies and secrets that were between them. Charlie.

Well I'm giving you a fair warning

Last time he had played this was years ago. He didn't need to, he knew every single word of it. They were stuck in his head, every day, all the time. But now that Charlie-

I'm done trying to save you

Charlie was dead and it was all his fault. He had been the one who pulled her into this mess.

You're a monster, Sam - A vampire

She would have been fine if it were not for him. And he could never forgive himself. Dean could never forgive him. She had been like a sister, she was family... And he had gotten her killed...

You're not you anymore. And there's no going back.

So no matter how much hearing this hurt him, he had to. He had to hear the disappointed voice of his brother. It should be you up there, not her. This was what he deserved, the only thing that anyone should ever do for him. He didn't deserve anything better.

In the end, he would only ruin everything good in his life.