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Two-night stand

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Castiel sighed and slowly opened his eyes, he lifted his head slightly and glanced at the unfamiliar, night stand, that held a basic lamp, a clock and an used condom wrapper. Castiel sighed again and rolled over in the bed so he was now looking at the back of the mans head whom he had had sex with the previous night. He groaned and shifted so he was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. The man snored and Castiel bit his lip. He inched his way off the bed, careful so he wouldn't wake the snoring man. He got dressed as quite and as quick as he could, before finding a pen and a piece of paper.
Castiel tacked his note that read, "Thanks for last night. Awesome apartment. Xo, Cas," to a small cork board near the mans door. He grabbed his scarf from the coat rack and opened the door.
"Shit, shit!" Castiel whispered. The alarm had gone off and beeping was filling the apartment. "Shit, fuck.. Fuck, fuck, fuck," Castiel shut the door again and ripped his note from the board. He crumpled it up and threw it in the trash can, hung his scarf back up and raced back towards the bed room. "Fuck, fuck..."
The beeping grew louder and Castiel jumped back into the bed, pulling the covers over his still fully clothed body.

Username: bestcastielever
Education: Pre-med. Not a hero. I'm just like you.
I want to meet: A renegade cop who plays by his own rules.
People tell me I look like: I've gotten "a pretty alien" before.
Special talents: I converse like a motherfucker.
Relationship status: Engaged. Newly single.
Occupation: Unemployed. Between jobs. Currently fielding offers.
I am open to: Conventional sex.
Reveal something personal: Seriously?
What I'm doing on a Friday night: LIVING THE DREAM!


Castiel lay on his sisters couch, wearing woolen socks with bees on them, creating a dating profile and listening to the weather man, Chuck Shurely, talk about how New York was going to get a "white Christmas" this year. Cas snapped his laptop shut, sat up grabbed the book that was on the table when he heard keys going in the lock. He shut off the TV as the door opened and his book to a random page.
"Oh, Castiel. Right where I left you. How adorable," Anna said, shutting the door to her apartment.
"You caught me red-handed," Cas looked up at his sister. "I'm just... I'm such a sucker for the classic American novel." He shut the book, stood up and put it back on the table. "Bad day?" He asked Anna, walking towards the kitchen.
"No, I'm just exhausted."
"Yeah, I know, me too, right?" Castiel stretched and opened the refrigerator.
"Maybe it's time to get a job," Anna suggested enthusiastically, walking over to Castiel who had grabbed a drink from the fridge.
"You're telling me..."
"Yes, I am."
"I look for fulfilling work all the time. I just happen to be taking a break whenever you're around. It's like studying when mom is watching," he shrugged.
"Did you talk to our parents about the lease? Cause Blaise is willing to take over if you..."
"Yeah, no," Castiel interrupted. "I haven't made a decision on that yet, per se..."
Anna sighed, "How did you not make a decision yet? I mean, what did you do today? What did you do this week?" She laughed.
Castiel blanched, "I did.. Christmas," he said holding up a Santa fridge magnet. "And I also started online dating."
"Seriously?" Anna smirked. "Ah!" She grinned and turned away, walking towards her bedroom.
"Yes, yeah, shut up."
"Meet anyone?" Anna yelled.
Castiel walked back to the couch, "I said, started. I'm not a machine. Oh, oh, and, um, I also really like that idea of going Dutch on principle except, you know, I don't have any money so it's kind of more intellectual exercise." He sat with his legs crossed. "Hey, woah, where are you going?" He asked is sister when she walked back into the room with a new outfit on and shoes in her hands. "You just got home."
"Blaise's friend is having this birthday thing at this bar," she said pulling on her shoes.
"So then you're not... cooking dinner?" Anna made a gun with her hand and stuck it in her brothers face. Castiel turned her hand on the side, creating the "gangster" position.
Anna sighed and dropped her hand, "Do you want to come?"
"Well, that kind of depends on the cake situation."
"Well, the birthday boy is single," Anna said putting on earrings. "He's not the brightest but he's pretty, so he's perfect for a one-night stand," she winked.
Castiels cheeks pinked, "I don't know. Do you think I'm ready?"
"Who cares? I'm ready for you to be ready. I mean seriously, how long has it been? Aren't you horny?"
"Now see, I knew you two little freaks be having these type of conversations when I'm not around," Blaise said as he walked through the door. "I knew it, especially you," he pointed at his girlfriend.
"Hi Blasie," Castiel said.
"I knew it," he kissed Anna. "I caught you."
"Well, yes, no, I'm horny, but I'm also... Somewhat lazy, sometimes. So, um, the two counteract, like dueling wizards..."
"Not anymore," Anna interrupted. "Tonight is the night."
"She's setting me up," Castiel told Blaise.
"I'm thing Gadreel," Anna said to Blaise.
"I like that, that's cool," Blaise nodded.
"Gadreel," Castiel did a little dance in his seat. "Whoop."
The bouncer at the door stuck his arm out to stop Castiel following Anna and Blaise into the club. "Hello," Cas said.
"What's up?"
"ID please."
Castiel laughed, "Oh, I'm a boy."
"Uh, no, I'm sorry, you look kinda young. Take it like a compliment all right?"
Castiel smiled tightly at the bouncer and pulled out his wallet. "Shit!"
"How did you lose your ID again?" Anna asked him. "You don't go anywhere."
"Okay, wait, look," Castiel lifted the beanie he was wearing and pointed to his forehead. "I am old enough, I swear. Do you see that?" He frowned. "Right there? It moves."
"Oh my God, Cas," Anna laughed.
"Hey, ID," the bouncer said to the people behind Castiel.
"Oh, shit," Blaise sighed.
"Awkward," Anna sing-songed.
"Hey," the man said to Cas. "I heard you're doing good."
"From who?"
"I don't know, I just... said that to be nice."
"Oh..." Cas glanced at Anna, who was sharing a look with Blasie. "Balthazar, I think this girl's trying to get by you."
"Oh, no," Balthazar laughed and swung his arm around her shoulders. "This is Meg. Meg, this is Anna, Blaise and Castiel. Castiel and I, we were together for a bit."
"Is that the abridge version," Cas frowned. "Just like that?"
"You two coming in or what?" The bouncer asked them.
Balthazar pushed Meg forwards and the two walked past Cas, Anna and Blaise into the club. "Nice meeting you," Blaise said to Meg.
Balthazar nodded at the bouncer, "Nice seeing you Castiel."
Castiel rubbed his hand over his face, "I don't even want to hear you guys say it," he said to Anna.
"Listen," she said. "If we knew that he was going to be here I would have warned you.
"This is a serious pattern, I am regressing. Last year I was in college and I was Balthazar's fiance and I drank wine in restaurants. And now I am at home all day in my underwear, and I'm nobody's nothing, and I can't even get into a bar. What is happening to me? I am going backwards! I am Benjamin button-ing!"
"He moved on, so what, so can you," Anna said. "I say take a cab home, get on that dating site, pick a cute guy. No drinks, no dinner, just a hook-up."
"You can't order it," Castiel spluttered. "It's not edible arrangements!"
"Uh, yeah, you can. You have a pretty face and the internet." The bouncer nodded in agreement. "Blasie, back me up."
"Internet, pretty face. Mm-hmm."
"Desperate times call for desperate measures. Go get them, tiger, you got this," Anna blew a kiss at him. "Mwah."
Castiel looked at the bouncer who was still nodding in agreement, "Right?"
Back at home, Castiel changed opened a bottle of wine and lounged back on the couch. He sat up, grabbed his laptop and clicked into the first message in his dating profiles inbox. "Ah..." He set the laptop back down and poured more wine into his glass when a picture of some guys abs filled his screen. He took a big gulp before picking the laptop back up again. Cas clicked on another guys chat box and typed in, "Hey there."
"Sup?" Was the reply. "Nope," Cas closed the chat box and took another gulp of wine.
He sighed and looked back at his computer. "Okay. Fuck it." Castiel opened the last two guys chat boxes and typed in, "Hey" in each. "He moved on, so can I."
"Hey there, how's it going?" Replied 67impala.
bestcastielever: "fantastic, how about yourself?"
"Keeping it lowercase. Keeping it casual," Castiel said to himself. "Really?!" He closed the other guys chat box when he replied with, "HEY SEXXXY BOY."
He focused his attention back onto 67impala's chat box. "Okay..." he mumbled when there wasn't a reply. "Come on. The bar is so low, it's so very low."
67impala: "same"
bestcastielever: "Cool, would you like to have sex with me?"
"I sound like a computer virus," he sighed and deleted what he had just typed in. "Awesome."
Castiel picked up his glass of wine again and took another drink. "Okay."
bestcastielever: "I'm about to get sexiled by my roommate. Do you want to hang out?"
67impala: "sure. are you thinking a bar?"
bestcastielever: "actually i was thinking your place"
67impala: "172 Classon Ave, Apartment 2. Brooklyn NY."
67impala: "sorry that was too quick. pretend I waited a second"
Castiel laughed.
bestcastielever: "Eesh, I'm coming from the east village. see you in a month."
67impala: "haha. i'll have cups of Gatorade waiting at each subway stop"
Castiel laughed again. "Wait! Oh, shit."
bestcastielever: "Wait!
bestcastielever: "can we video chat?"
67impala: "sure"
bestcastielever: "I wanna see your apartment."
bestcastielever: "the physco test"
bestcastielever: "newspaper clippings about unsolved muders on your wall = no dice.
"Saftey first," he said to himself.
67impala: "totally fair. just give me a minute to take off my mom's dress."
Cas laughed and ran his fingers through his hair before accepting the incoming call from 67impala.
"Hey there," the man said with a little wave.
"Oh man, I was.. I was just so sure that I was going to see a close-up of a vagina," Castiel joked.
"Um, yeah, me too." Cas laughed. "Wow, you're, uh, really pretty. Really pretty. Uh, anyway," the man picked up his computer. "So this is me. Soak it in, um," he swung the computer around the room. It was pretty small but seemed cozy in Castiel's opinion. The walls were a darker blue than Castiels eyes. Comfortable couches surrounding a television, ping-pong table basic kitchen, a bed and drawers. "This is my apartment. As you can see, it's a magical wonderland." He set the computer back down. "So do I past the test or..."
"Um, yes, I think so. I've actually... I've never done this before."
"Me either."
"No, no, no, like I know... I know that people say that but I really... I haven't, nothing."
"I know, me either."
"Oh, good, um... Okay, well, I guess then I will see you soon?"
"That is awesome," the man grinned. "I mean, that is cool, sweet. That will be very nice thing to happen, Cas. I will see you soon."
"Okay," Castiel put the laptop down on the couch and put his head in his hands.
"Okay, bye."
"I cannot believe I am schlepping to Brooklyn for a Booty call, That's fucking scandalous," Castiel said to himself.
"I don't think it shut off right," the man said.
Castiel jumped, "No, no, the TV," and slammed the laptop closed.

The beeping grew louder and Castiel jumped back into the bed, pulling the covers over his still fully clothed body. Sirens wailed and the man jumped out of bed in shock. Pretending to wake up, Castiel mumbled, "Is that a burglar alarm?"
The man grabbed a bat from under his bed and looked at Cas with puzzlement, "Did you sleep with your coat on?"
"Yeah, I get cold. Get the intruder!" Castiel urged him. The man shot off towards the front door and Cas lay in wait for him to come back.
"False alarm," he said as he slid back into his bed.
"Oh, that's so weird. It's a bummer that it woke us up though, but I should get going. Um.." he sat up. "I had a great time, thank you. It's um, perfect for what I needed so..." Cas paused. The man snored, obviously fallen back to sleep. "Awesome," Castiel sighed and flopped back down on the bed once again.

Cas rolled over and fiddled with the alarm clock. He opened the top drawer and his eyes widen at the packets upon packets of condoms. "Ambitious." He pulled out the book an started reading. He jumped when the alarm clock went off and threw the book down. The man shot up and rolled on top of Cas to shut of the 'Asia' coming from the clock. "That's some alarm you got there."
"Yeah, I don't even remember even setting it for 11:04. Weird," he laughed a little as he sunk back down onto his side of the bed. "Uh, morning, Cas."
"Good morning, Dane."
"It's Dean, actually."
"Yeah. What'd I say?"
"Oh. What was it again?"
"Oh, yeah, gotcha, sorry."
"It's okay," Dean laughed.
"Well, um... I had a blast so... Thank you for having me."
"You're welcome," Dean said propping himself up on his elbow. My only concern is how we're going to sugarcoat this when we tell our grand kids how we met."
They both laughed. "Yeah. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it"
"So do you want to grab breakfast?" Dean asked as he watch Cas sit on the edge of the bed. "Or do you normally take off?"
"Normally?" Castiel turned around and frowned at him.
"You said 'normally.' Just... like I do this so much that I'd have a normal and an abnormal version of it?"
Dean shook his head, "That's... yeah, that's not what I meant. i have no idea how often you do this."
Cas huffed as he pulled on his shoes, he had everything back off when he was waiting for the alarm clock to 'mysteriously' go off. "I told you last night that this is my first time doing anything, you know, remotely like this."
"Yeah, but come one. Come on. What?" Castiel shook his head at him. "Cas, do you honestly expect me to believe this was your first on-night stand ever?" Dean laughed.
"Yes! Yeah, no, I mean, the only reason that I am here is because my roommate, she peer-pressured the shit out of me," Cas huffed and stood up.
"Yeah, she sexiled you or whatever right?" Dean positioned himself so his back was leaning against the headboard on his bed.
"Exactly, and yet I'm sensing some distinctly judgey vibes coming from your side of the bed, which is odd considering the team work involved," Castiel pulled on his trench coat as fast as he could.
"There's no judgey vibes coming from this side of the bed," Dean insisted. "Honestly, I really admire what you did. I wish more boys were that forward."
"Forward? There we go with the slut thing again."
"I'm not calling you a slut! I'm calling you a boy who went over to a strangers house at midnight. If only there was a word for someone who does that," Dean chuckled.
"Wow, you know what, screw you."
"That was a joke, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"You invited me here, just remember that."
"That's not quite how it happened but it doesn't matter. Look, can we please just eat breakfast? I make oatmeal with a little smile face out of jelly, and it's not sluttly at all."
"You know what, save your oatmeal. I think I'm just going to take off. But, um, thanks for having me, it was awesome to get to know you. Have a nice life, Dane." Castiel made his way for door.
Dean got out of bed and followed him, "Okay, cool, well, I'm going to assume that time was on purpose, 'cause I told you my name was Dean like a dozen times."
"It wasn't on purpose but whatever."
"Okay, cool, well, bye," Dean gave Cas a wave. "It was nice having sex with you!"
"Aw, I wish I could say the same," Castiel smiled at him and put his hand on the door handle.
"Hmm, sounded like you had a pretty good time last night."
"You know what? Don't believe everything you hear."
"Okay, fuck you, Cas."
"Fuck you, back," he said and walked out the door.
"Ah, okay," Dean sighed as the door slammed and the alarm started to beep again.

Castiel stormed down the stairs, wishing to get as far away from Dean as possible. He reached the exit and pushed on the handle. "What?" He questioned as he pushed the door again and it didn't budge. He looked out the window and a wall of snow was blocking the door.
He kicked the door in frustration, "Ow, shit!" Castiel sighed and turned around as Dean came down the stairs, talking on the phone and carrying a basket of laundry.
"Imagine a sleeping little angel-faced angel... No, I'm the angel. And this angel is being woken up by a fucking junkyard dog in a hot-girl body! Okay, and that's my morning. Look, I cant..." Dean stopped in his tracks when he saw Castiel standing at the door. "Uh, mom. I'll call you back," Dean ended his call and put his phone in his pocket.
"Hi there, it's Dean right?"
"Hmm, what is it? A little snow outside? Yeah, hmm. Well, New Yorkers.. I don't want to say that you guys are pussies but seriously, you should see what a winter in Minnesota looks like," Dean set down his laundry basket. "I'll get you a cab." Castiel stepped out of the way as Dean tried to open the door. "Holy shit, that is a lot of snow!" He exclaimed when he couldn't get the door to budge either.
"Hmm," Cas hummed with a tight smile.
"Wow," Dean sighed.

"Hey, folks, I hope you aren't planning on going anywhere anytime soon 'cause let me tell you something, it ain't gonna happen okay?" The weather man, Chuck Shurely, said.
Dean and Castiel were sitting on opposite ends of Deans couch as Chuck announced that they were seeing record snowfalls. Apparently tens of thousands of people were stranded in New York city this holiday season.

"Anna, you have to do something, I cannot stay here," Castiel was whispering over the phone. "This is the worst."
"Sweetie, are you even watching the news? There's nothing we can do."
"But Blaise is an EMT, can he like... Helicopter me out of here or something?"
"Is that Blasie laughing at me?"
"No, no, no, no. Okay, just make the best of it and we'll rescue you as soon as we can, okay, I promise."
"No, no, no, no, I would not be here if you didn't slut me out!"
"Sorry, I can't hear you. I think the snow is messing with the satellite. Okay, bye."

Dean placed a blow of oatmeal in front of Castiel, smiley face included. Cas took a tentative bite while Dean had a big spoonful.
"This is what I deserve," Castiel sighed. "It's penance."
"Wow, that is officially the worst review my oatmeal has ever received."
"It's what I get for slutting it up."
"Um, so you really think God made this blizzard to punish you for being slutty?"
"No, I don't think God did it. That's ridiculous. I think my grandmother did, and I just on't know how."
"Riiight, that makes sense," Dean took a sip of his orange juice. "Well, I would prefer not to spend the next 24 hours in uncomfortable silence with you, so why don't we just pretend that we never had sex? It didn't happen. And then we can pretend that it's just the weather and not your passive-aggressive magical grandma."
"No, that's like trying to get the toothpaste back into the tube... you can't do it. It is out there. I have seen your penis. You've implied I'm a slut. Those are big things."
"Did you just call my penis big?" Dean smirked.
"Uh, no, no, I did not. I called the implication of your penis big."
Dean smiled, "Well, it's still nice to hear."
"You can't just... Erase the fact that two people had sex," Castiel shrugged.
"I think you underestimate us," Dean swiveled in his chair and fully face Cas. "Hi, I'm Dean," he stuck out his hand.
Cas stared at it for a moment before playing along. "I'm Castiel."
"Cas, it's very nice to meet you," Dean kissed his hand. "Um, what do you do for a living?"
"Oh, Jesus, that... that's what we're doing? Uh, no."
Dean sighed, "Seriously, already? We just started."
"Okay." They both went back to eating their oatmeal in awkward silence. Dean stared at the clock on the microwave. 1:32pm changed into 1:33pm. "Wow, how the time flies," he said sarcastically.
Cas rolled his eyes, stood up, took his bowl over to the sink and jumped up so he was now sitting on the clear space on the counter. "All right, we'll try again, but there are rules. No upsetting questions."
"I didn't realize it was one."
"Well, now you do."
"Okay, I am trying very hard to think of a question that could in no way be construed as upsetting," Dean thought for a minute. "Do you like dogs?"
"Perfectly non-upsetting question, good job... yes. I like dogs."
Dean smiled, "Me too."
Cas smiled back. "I have to use the restroom." He jumped off the counter.
"That's allowed," Dean said.

Cas picked up a magazine next to the toilet and flipped through it. He stopped on a page that read "The 5 types of girls (or boys) you'll meet online". "What?" Cas huffed. He read the next page. "Damaged?" He scoffed. "You don't know me." He ripped out the page and screwed it up, putting it in the toilet.

Cas sat on a chair, using Deans laptop, while Dean played one manned ping-pong. "Do you possibly have headphones?" Castiel asked him, sick of the constant noise of the ball being hit backwards and forwards. Dean hit the ball one more time before stopping. "Thank you."
"Um, Cas?"
"What happened?"
"Um, what happened, you happened. What is that?" Dean pointed with the ping-pong racket towards the water seeping out from under the bathroom door.
"God! Ahh!" Castiel jumped out of his seat and raced over to the door.
"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it."
"No, no, no, no, you just.." Cas pushed Dean away from the door. He reached down and started taking off his socks. "You step away, you are not cleaning that up. You will hold it over my head, go to your room! I can handle this." Dean backed away and held back a laugh as Cas opened the door and muttered "gross."

"It just keeps coming," Castiel yelled out as he peered into the over flowing toilet and tried to turn the water valve off.
"You gotta turn the knob!" Dean yelled back.
"No, I mean the punishments from the universe. It's a flood, it's practically biblical. Where the fuck is your plunger?"
"It should be right next to the, um... Ah, shit, I let my buddy borrow my plunger, dammit. That's why you never let your friends borrow plungers."
"There's like a thousand reasons."
"Look, just shut the door. I'll deal with it later."
Cas sighed and lay towels across the wet floor. He shut the door and put the final one out side of it and sat back down on the chair.
"Hey, I just thought of an idea that could fix everything. Do you wanna get high?" Dean smiled at him. Cas stared at him blankly. "Yeah," Dean came and sat on the couch. "Me either. That was just a test to see if you were a cop." Cas sighed and so did Dean. After a beat, Dean said, "Yep, I'm going to do it, I'm gonna get high. You don't care, do you?"
Cas shook his head, "Your apartment."
Dean went and rummaged in the cabinet next to Castiel, "I'm warning you though, you're about to think that I'm really cool. My buddy made it," Dean held up a light blue bong, covered in sea-shells, as he sat back down. "I don't know if you can tell, but he smokes a lot of pot. I try to encourage his creativity."
"No, I think it fits you," Cas smiled. He looked away as Dean lit it up and started to get high.
"Sorry, I'd open a window, but, you know..." Dean gestured to the snow covering them.
"It is a mystery why you don't have a girlfriend."
"Or boyfriend. I'm a catch," Dean shrugged.
Cas rolled his eyes. "I'll bet you 150 bucks you're gonna die alone."
"Well, my future smoking-hot widow will gladly accept your money," Dean lit up his bong again. "Hey, I'm just saying, you could afford to take the edge off a little bit. It could be good for you. You should embrace it," he held the bong out to Castiel.
"I've gotten high before."
"Not with me," Dean smiled.
"Fine," he took it from Dean's hand and caught the lighter he threw. "It better make you funnier."
"Yeah," Dean laughed as Cas took his own hit. "Smoke that shit."

Cas hit the ping-ping ball at Dean, who missed it in favor of eating another crisp. "So earlier you asked what I did for a living and I kinda got a little feisty."
Dean bent down to pick the ball back up, "You, feisty? Can't picture it." He hit the ball back at Cas.
He missed and fumbled around trying to pick it back up. "Well, the answer is... I am less-than-employed at the moment." Dean nodded along eating another crisp. "I don't do anything. See, last year I was able to say, "I'm a premed student," which sounds kind of impressive, right? But then I graduated and I'm not allowed to say it anymore."
Dean hit a rejected chip away with his bat before missing the ball Castiel hit at him again. "Um...
I think your profile said premed student."
"Yeah, no, I just haven't changed it yet."
"Didn't you make the profile like two days ago? That's weird," Dean bit the inside of his cheek to contain his smile.
"What is this, like an interrogation?"
"You got something to hide?" Dean hit the ball.
"No, I just..." Cas caught it with his hand. "I think I'm just in that limbo phase. It's not like your degree has instructions on it." He bounced the ball back at Dean who whacked it with his paddle an the ball went flying over Castiels head.
"Well... boom! Home run, twins win the world series!" Dean celebrated as Cas went in search of the ball. "Well, your degree did say premed, so you would think something follows that."
Cas found the ball under the table and put in the garbage disposal. He flicked on the switch.
"What was that?" Dean yelled.
"Hmm," Cas shrugged.

"So... Why did you major in premed if you didn't want to go into medicine?" Dean asked Cas. They were now sitting in a fort made out of pillows and sheets. Cutting designs out of paper.
"I always thought I'd change it, but then I graduated. Whoops."
"Wait, how does that happen?"
"Easier than you would think. What do you do for a living?" Cas asked.
"I work at a bank."
"Wow," Cas laughed. "Fancy. Banking."
"No, just bank. I'm an assistant manager."
"How does someone like you get into something that's so..."
"Widly exciting?" Dean offered.
"Yes. I don't know, I mean, you know, like, when you're 17 and... You just want to get out there and show the world everything that you have to offer, because you have all this stuff to say?
I don't know what that feels like," Dean shrugged. "I don't know. I never felt like I needed a job to define my life."
"Do you like your job?"
"Since when are you supposed to like your job? I think our generation catastrophically misunderstands that."
Castiel smiled, "Interesting."

"I forgot the food, I'm going back for it."
"Huh? No, no, no. Please, allow me," Dean pulled on an end of a blanket and dragged bowls of sweets into the fort.
"Now, I am impressed," Cas laughed.
"'Cause it's like a Butler that is also a rug."
"For the man who has everything except a rug."
Cas laughed again. "You know, I used to smoke back in college.But one summer, I walked in
on my parents smoking out of a vaporizer and watching Italian porn."
"Oh my God."
"Which is kind of the greatest anti drug of all time."
Dean threw his head back and laughed. "That is awesome! Kinda gross, but... It is funny.
"Growing up... All of my friends' parents were divorced, you know? But mine, they were
always... so happy. They were just so disgustingly happy. It's a lot to live up to. I think it kinda messed me up." Cas chuckled and Dean nodded in agreement.
"My parents are still married too."
"Yeah? Good for them." Cas held his hand up for a high-five which Dean happily gave him.
"Yeah, when I was a kid I used to wish that they'd get divorced 'cause I was jealous of
all my friends who got to have two Christmas's." Dean fiddled with the record player and started a song.
Castiel started to nod his head to the beat. "Hm, hm, hm."
"You should turn this off."
"You don't like this song?"
"Oh, no, I love this song, It's going to make me want to dance."
Dean smiled, "Yes. You should."
"Trust me."
"Oh, are you a bad dancer?"
"Oh, no. No, no, no. I am an epic dancer, but you see... See, if you see me dance you'll follow me around like a little puppy dog and it'll be embarrassing for us both. So you have to stay here.
For your own safety, trust me on that one." Castiel crawled out of the fort and Dean grinned and turned up the volume to one of his favorite songs in the universe. He watched Castiels silhouette through the sheets, jumping around and having a good time. Dean flicked off the lights in the forts so he could look at Castiel better.

"Okay, um... So I would just like to frame the next question in the context that my diet doesn't normally consist of junk food. And with that in mind hypothetically..."
"If one were to need to make use of a bathroom, how might one do that in these special circumstances? Stop smiling, Dean."
"Uh... That's actually a great question."
Cas nodded and Dean burst out laughing.

"Are these your creepy neighbors? Are you the creepy neighbor? You're totally the creepy neighbor," Cas said as Dean knocked on his neighbors door.
"Hey, Mrs. Harvelle, it's Dean." He knocked again. "I just really need to borrow your plunger. It's kind of an emergency."
Cas tapped on his shoulder, "That wouldn't happen to be their mailbox, would it?" He pointed to the end of the hall.
"Oh, yeah, you know what, they're probably away for the holidays," he laughed.
"You did not just laugh."
"It's kind of funny."
"Do you see this face?" Cas gestured at his face. "This is my panic face. Do we understand?"

"Okay, have no fear. The trusty coat hanger is here to save the day," Dean walked back into his bathroom and stuck it down the toilet.
"Aw, shucks, I bet you say that to all the boys." Dean shot him a look. "We're kind of on a clock here."
"I mean, there's a plan "b," but it might sound kind of out there."
"We are not getting high again."
"Yes, we are. No, I'm just kidding. The windows of this building, they don't really work right. So we can go out the window, climb up to the roof go to the other side and then get in through the Harvelles' fire escape."
Cas shrugged, "Okay."

Dean threw seemingly random items out of a closet. "Maybe just you should do this," Castiel said from where he was standing out of throwing range.
"I'm not breaking and entering alone! The whole reason we're doing this is for you."
Castiel snorted back a laugh when Dean climbed out of the closet wearing a bright pink onsie. "Why do you have that?"
"My grandmother left it to me. Yup, all style complaints go to her," Dean held out an equally pink and fluffy robe to Cas.
"I see, mm-hmm, sweet," he said taking it from him.

Dean and Castiel walked up to his window, dressed head to toe in thick clothing and snow goggles to help battle the snow. They oped the window together and snow started to fly into the room. They looked at each other and Dean said, "Lets do this."
Dean lead the way across the roof over towards the Harvelles' and down the ladder of their fire escape. "You couldn't just shit in the sink, huh?!" He yelled as he tried to open the window.
"What's wrong?" Cas yelled back.
"It's frozen shut! It won't budge! We gotta go back."
Cas picked up a potted plant," There is no turning back!" He threw it threw the window.
"Whoa! What the fuck?!"
"Go, go, go!" Cas climbed threw the now-empty window frame.
"Are you kidding me?" Dean climbed in the window after him. "Hey, are you fucking insane? I'm going to have to pay for that!" He yelled at him.
Cas pulled of his snow goggles, "I had to! They will totally understand!"
"Look, you are a ruiner," Dean said.
"I am not a ruiner!"
"Sorry, I gotta pee," Dean pushed past Castiel and went into the bathroom. "I had to. You understand, you understand."
Cas pounded on the door, "No, no, no, no. You are an asshole in so many languages!"
"You understand.." Dean muttered to himself. He took off his gloves slowly and picked up the plunger. "Oh yeah, this pee feels so good." Cas bit back a groan. Dean sighed and opened the door. "Whoops, sorry, false alarm." Cas punched him in the stomach and dove into the bathroom. "Oh, God..." Dean sighed again as he looked at the damage of the window.

He taped up the window as Castiel used the Harvelles' bathroom. When he stepped out, Dean didn't say a thing. Cas sat on a small chair and said, "Just so you know, I'm giving you the silent treatment too. I just didn't know if you could tell and I wanted you to know."

"Hey, I think we've solved the mystery of the clogged toilet," Dean yelled out to Cas.
"Wait, what? I told you I would do that!" Cas raced into the bathroom.
"What is this?" Dean pulled out a soggy something.
"No, it's nothing," Cas tried to grab it from Deans hands but he held it out of reach.
"What are you doing? That's gross."
"Give it back."
"Cas, this was in a toilet, that's gross, okay?" Cas deflated and stepped away. "If you had a problem with the reading material you could have just said something." Dean held out the water paper and read the title. "Ah."

"It's just some stupid article," he said to Cas, who was lying face down on the couch.
Cas lifted his head off the cushions, "It wasn't stupid, though. It was spot-on. How pathetic is that, it's so pathetic..."
"Did you like it?"
"What are you talking about? The article? Because no. Obviously."
"No, no, I meant the sex we had last night."
"What happened to like, 'hey, let's just pretend we never had sex?'"
"Yeah, I'm over that," Dean shrugged.
"Why are you even thinking about this again?"
"I haven't stopped thinking about it."
"Oh, all right," Cas pushed himself up into a sitting position, crossing his legs to make him self comfy. "Well, see, I just said those things to hurt your feelings because you hurt mine, you know?"
"Yeah, I don't really buy that because I think people are most honest actually when they're trying to hurt somebody's feelings."
"Fine. You're a really great kisser. If that helps. Yeah, you've got that down pat, it's just..."
"Practice on my hand a lot," Dean cut in.
Cas smiled a little, "It's just the other stuff. But I had a good time."
"Okay," Dean pulled himself up from his sitting position on the floor and sat on the couch. "Well, yeah, let's talk about this. So, what, uh... Yeah, what did I do wrong?"
"Okay," Cas ran his hand through his hair. "It's not about what you did wrong, it's just how people sync up. You know, how they fit together."
"Mm-hmm, and we didn't sync up well?"
"Do you think we did?"
"Well, you know, it's the first time, it's awkward. You don't know what to say, you don't know what you're touching. It's awkward."
Cas sighed softly, "It's not like that changes after the first time. Well, I mean eventually they learn what you like more, but... You can never talk about it openly 'cause guys are so sensitive."
"Hey," Dean said. "You're a guy."
"Yeah, so? Shut up and just listen okay? Suggesting just the tiniest thing and it freaks them out because then they think you've been thinking that every time, and then they get mad that you didn't say something earlier and you didn't say something early because it would have been too soon. So the only thing that there is to do is train them to recognize different levels of moans without them realizing you're doing it. In my experience."
"Wow," Dean breathed.
"It works. Or maybe it's just me," Castiel looked down at his hands in his lap.
"No, it's like camp,you know?" Dean started. "You go and you have to do this activity with a partner but you can't say anything so you're just kinda stumbling your way through it."
"Yeah, it's just like camp... What camp did you go to?" Cas asked puzzled.
"Holy shit. I just had a good idea," Dean huffed out a laugh. "Do you feel it, the two of us? It's a pretty good opportunity right now."
"What... What is?"
"This. Right here."
Cas shook his head, "I don't understand?"
"You don't get it? Okay, look, listen to me," Dean hopped up off the couch. "So we're trapped. We're like this incredible experiment right now, we're lab rats. We've had sex, but we don't have feelings for each other, right? And as soon as that snow clears, you're gone."
"Like Mexico-gone."
"We don't know any of the same people, so we're probably never going to see each other again."
"Yes," Cas smiled.
"So we can use this time to be honest with each other, and we can give each other advice and constructive criticism to make each other better lovers for the next person that comes along."
Castiel laughed, "Okay, firstly, you cannot pull off the word 'lovers.'"
"I think I can."
"Secondly, what you are proposing is potentially... it's a horrible... it sucks. It's a bad idea... don't... what?"
"Are you kidding me? This is the best idea I've ever had!"
"That's so sad."
"Look, Cas, listen, you can't just like drop a bomb on me like, "hey, maybe you've never had good sex with a guy in your entire fucking life," and then say you don't want to talk about it," Dean sat down on one of his chairs. "I wanna talk."
"Guys can't handle constructive criticism about that stuff. You'll get all pissy..."
"No. I promise you that I will not get pissy if you don't."
"What do you mean if I don't?" Cas frowned.
"Oh, did you think this was just like a one-way street, or something?"
"You think you have pointers for me?"
"Well... Yeah, a thing or two crossed my mind, but... I guess you'll never know, will you?" Dean shrugged.
"Jesus, fine, all right, I bite, go!"
"Okay, great, this is good," Dean licked his lips and stood back up so he could pace the room. "Now, this is not just you. I want to make that clear. Um, okay, the lights-off thing. What the fuck is that? If the lights are off, like you requested and I so gentlemanly obliged, I could be having sex with anything, literally. But I don't want to be having sex with anything. I wanna be having sex with you." He paused before adding. "Not you specifically, but like the universal you."
Castiel hesitated before answering. "Lights on? Wow. All guys feel that way?"
"I can only speak for me and my friends, but yeah."
"That's what you got?"
"All I'm saying is that we're young and we're hot-looking people, and we should embrace that shit while we have it."
"All right, fine!" Cas exclaimed. "Guys like to do it with the lights on. Noted, awesome, shocked. "What else you got?"
"Do you want more?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Okay, um..." Dean thought for a minute. "What else do you do that I don't like? Okay, yeah, you do this thing where you stand up from the bed and you kind of turn halfway around and then you get undressed as fast as you can all at once and it's like you're getting ready for a physical or something."
"I have never had any complaints about how rapidly I undress. Most guys like naked me."
"I love naked you!" Dean reassured quickly. "Naked you is awesome to look at and touch. What I mean is that you could make the getting-naked-there part a little like..." He did a little dance, mimicking talking off his clothes slowly. "You could even imaginary pole, just bring it, smack it," Dean smacked his ass and then bent over, so his ass was up in the air. "Bring it down..."
"Oh God!"
"Bright it up. Do the little ass thing with your underwear," Dean pretended to shimmy out of his underwear and flick them to the side.
"Actually that wasn't terrible," Cas said. "You should put on heels and try it."
Dean cleared his throat, "Yeah, you're right, this is weird."
"No, no, no, man-up finish. Just get ready for an onslaught."
"Okay, that definitely didn't sound like it was in the vein of constructive criticism but I will continue, nonetheless," Dean sat back down on the couch. "Look, all... I'm saying is that guys like undressing. And you could make it more of a... thing."
"Okay. Lastly, when I was inside of you, you started doing this thing... you started helping yourself a little bit and it kind of made me feel like I was being benched."
"I need friction."
"Yeah but-"
"No, it's okay. It's noted. Duly noted. My turn now?" Castiel got up off the couch and started pacing like Dean did.
"Good. Okay, I don't know who first taught guys to do the "alphabet with their tongue" thing, but it kind of makes me feel like I'm Helen Keller being rimmed by her teacher." Cas smiled tightly.
"And that's not a fantasy of yours?"
"There was a moment, one moment during foreplay in which I was maybe close to coming. And I believe I subtly pointed this out for you. Do you remember what it was that I said?"
Dean fidgeted in his seat, "I'm close to coming?"
"Yes, uh-huh. And then after I said that, you switched up what you were doing. Just what was your thought process there?"
"Um, I mean, honestly, I thought I was doing like a finishing move. Kind of like a "mortal combat" thing like, "finish him!" And like really hit it, but... I thought I was doing something like that."
Cas pulled a disgusted face. "Next time, just, you know, keep on doing what it was that you were doing because you got him to third and you can get him home."
"Okay," Dean rubbed his hands on his jeans.
"You waited for me to undress you, which is unnecessary and also a little weird because I'm not your mom tucking you into bed. You kept trying to give me hickeys, which nobody likes. Oh, and you went like way too fast, like you were drilling me for oil. You know, like my whole body was like, "zzhh-zzhh-zzhh..." Cas jumped on the spot for a second. "And then... oh, oh, you did find my g-spot." Dean grinned at him. "But kind of like a drive-by. Which was cool, but then you kept going." His grin fell off his face. "And I so wanted you to stop. Oh, okay, all right," Cas went and sat back on the couch, legs crossed under him again. "When someone is helping themselves, that's a good fucking thing. My ex was weird about that too, and it's... it's not like we're competing on some awesome erotic Japanese game show; we are having sex. You know, like, embrace the team spirit! Oh, and last night, when we were done, you retreated to the other side of the bed like you planted a bomb down there. So next time, just hold them, count to like ten. It'd go a long way, that one. You can thank me later. Other than those things, you were a perfectly adequate lover." Castiel fiddled with the sleeve of Deans shirt.
Dean nodded, "Adequate, wow, thank you. Adequate's not really..."
"See, I knew this would happen."
"...a compliment."
"I told you this was a bad idea," Castiel sighed.
"That's cool. It's a fine idea, I'm good. I'm like Teflon, baby, nothing sticks to me. We should totally check out the news though for some updates," Dean grabbed the remote off his coffee table and switched the TV on. The weather man was standing in the middle of what looked like no-where. Snow continued to fall steadily and heavily around him.
"Is it cool if I take a shower?" Castiel asked Dean.
"Yeah, the towels are... on the floor."
Cas smiled at him and got up off the couch again. He walked through Deans apartment and shut the door behind him when he reached the bathroom. He turned the shower on and stood in front of the mirror, waiting for the water to heat up. He looked himself up and down and slowly shrugged himself out of his trench coat. He did the slow dance that Dean showed him too and laughed at himself. He pulled it back on, shut the water off and exited the bathroom.
"That was quick," Dean commented when Cas came back into the room.
Cas bent over the back of the couch, grabbed the remote and switched the TV back off. "What if we try again?"
"I can't take anymore critiques."
"No, no, I mean, what if we... Tried again. Tested our theories for science.
Deans eyebrows raised in surprise. "For.... Science.."
Cas nodded, "Yeah, I think it would be really helpful for me. Because I'm more of a hands-on learner." He sat back down on the couch.
Dean smiled, "Yeah, we could...we could do that.
"Good," Castiel smiled back. "And the channel of communication stays open."
"We say whatever's on our mind, that's the deal."
"Okay, we should film it. hmm. No? Too far? Sorry. How should we start?"
"Okay, so normally, on date situations, there would be more of a build-up here, right, but since this is strictly a hookup scenario I think it'd be fine if you just..." Dean cut Cas off with a kiss.
Cas smiled against his lips and kissed back. He pulled away after a minute of kissing and stood up, this time pulling his trench coat off walking towards the bedroom.
"Whoa," Dean gulped and shot off to follow him. Cas pulled him in for another kiss as he rounded the corner. Just as Dean was about to push him on to the bed, he caught him and sighed.
"Yeah, see," Cas said. "The lack of sheets kind of makes it look a little crack den-y. Which is great for like a role-playing scenario but..."
"It was laundry day," Dean mumbled. He went and grabbed clean ones from the cupboard and him and Cas quickly made the bed. "Is it inside out? No, I don't care. It's fine, mmm, where were we?" He swept Cas up in another kiss.
Castiel pushed him onto the bed and Dean grinned. "Ah, a fan of the bed push. That's a classic." Dean went to take his shirt off. "Oh, no, no, no, shoes and socks first. There's never a good time
for it so, you know... Get them off." Cas hopped around awkwardly while Dean fumbled with his laces. When Castiel was free of his socks, he went over to the light switch, flicking them off and then turning them up half way on dim.
Dean smiled, "Good compromise. I like that."
"Thank you. I'm like the UN of doing it." Castiel watched Dean take off his shirt and then gave him a wink. He turned around so his back was facing him and slowly peeled off his layers. He glanced over his shoulder before he shimmed out of his jeans. He then pulled his singlet off and turned around to face Dean. He was staring, open-mouthed and flushed. Hard in his own pair of jeans. Cas smiled shyly at him before taking off his tented-boxers. "Is that what you had in mind?" He asked Dean as he kicked them away from around his ankles.
"That's pretty goof, you got the hang of that," Dean licked his lips, looking Cas up and down.
"Good," Cas smiled and leaped on the bed.

"Hey. Up and at 'em. Wake up," Cas poked Dean in the side of the face.
"We fell asleep."
"Yeah, is that a problem?
"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I don't see what the educational purposes of it are." Dean kissed Cas on the shoulder. "Plus, I'm hungry."
Dean yawned and nodded.

"Um," Dean stared into his empty fridge.
"We're going to starve."
"Not if you like mustard," Dean laughed.
Cas frowned, "Why don't you have any food?"
"Well, I had food, and then we ate it all when we were really high."
"Oh, yeah."
Dean pulled something out of his freezer, "Three-year-old banana? No? Okay." He threw it back in the freezer and shut the door. "Oh, here we go." He grabbed an unopened stick of gum off the top of the fridge and gave it to Castiel.
Cas gave him a small smile and unwrapped it. "This might have to last days. We'll ration it," Cas took a small bite out of a corner. He handed it back to Dean who took a bigger bite.
"We just have to get creative. Give me like.. ten minutes, and I'll figure something out."
Cas took the gum back from Dean, "Don't hog it," he teased.
"Go back to bed. Let me figure this out."

"Special delivery," Dean said and carried a tray with two blows on it into his bedroom. Dean set it down on the bed and handed a bowl to Cas.
"Where did you get these?" Cas asked him. The bowl was full of noodles.
"Hmm?" Dean grabbed his own bowl and lent against the head board next to Cas. "Don't worry about it."
"These are your neighbors' noodles!" Cas said as realization struck him. "These are contraband noodles. You threw such a hissy fit about the window and now look at you... you are a common thief."
Dean laughed, "I know. And, for the record, I actually thought it was pretty bad ass when you broke that window like that."
"Thank you, I did too." They chuckled and ate some noodles in comfortable silence. "You might not be the worst person in the world to be stuck with," Castiel confessed.
"Right back at you," Dean smiled at him, and Cas smiled back. "So were your parents doctors?"
"Oh, I thought maybe they were and that's why you rebelled and didn't want to do it anymore. So what happened?"
"It doesn't matter," Cas said quietly.
"Yeah, it does, come on, you can tell me."
"It wouldn't even make sense to you."
"Everything makes sense to me. It's the burden of being a genius. I can't help it."
Cas snorted a laugh, "It's not, um... It's not that I stopped wanting to be a doctor."
"So you do want to be a doctor," Dean set his blow aside.
Cas finished his mouthful and did the same. "No, I meant I didn't change my mind. I never wanted to be a doctor, ever... ugh."
"Then why would you go into premed?"
Castiel laughed quietly to himself, "So... I was engaged once." Dean nodded thoughtfully but didn't say anything, so Castiel continued. "Once. Sounds like I'm writing a memoir. Um, I was engaged recently. We dated through high school, followed him to NYU. When I had to pick a major, I, uh... I never actually planned on needing it. I just wanted to be a husband and maybe a dad one day." Cas looked up at Dean, who still hadn't said again. He shook his head, "See, people always look at you funny when you say something that 'cause they feel bad for you.."
Dean's eyes widen, "Cas, I'm not...I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to look at you funny."
"No, it's fine," Castiel assured him with a shake of his head and a small smile. "I don't know, I mean... It worked for my parents and I always thought that I'd do the same. And then the universe called my bluff."
"What happened?"
"He cheated," Castiel shrugged.
"Yeah, and sadly that wasn't even the deal-breaker. I wanted to work through it, but he... Wanted out," Cas' voiced cracked. "He said that he wanted to find someone with more of their own life. Dropped the word "ambition" a few times."
"Ooh, yeah, I've had that word thrown at me a few times too. Believe it or not."
"I believe it."
Dean huffed a laugh, "Ambition is such bullshit. Seriously, it's just chasing vapor, like... Whatever it is that you think that you need like that job or that gold star, blue ribbon, fancy desk, nice office, like it doesn't," Dean shrugged. "Like once you get that, you're gonna be confused because you're not gonna be as happy as you thought you were going to be. Then you're going to be sitting there being like, 'why aren't I happy? I have this... I got the desk.' Because, man, there's another desk. Like there's always going to be something more that your ambition is telling you that you need so it's the next thing, and then when you get that, there's another thing. It's an endless cycle. You're forced into retirement. You're kicking and screaming. The next thing you know, you're in a big house, you've got four-and-a-half bathrooms, you don't even have a ping-pong table and you're dead."
Castiel smiled, "Let's fucking go blow shit up!"
Dean ran his fingers through his hair and look at Cas. There was a beat of silence before they both burst out laughing. When they calmed down, Dean asked, "So what happened with that guy?"
Cas sighed, "Nothing. A semester later I graduated with a degree I had no intention of using.
And here I am."
"So you've really never had a one-night stand before?"
"I have told you this like 100 times."
"Well, you should know, they usually don't last this long."
Cas frowned slightly, "That's a bummer."
"Wow," Dean smiled. "That guy is so screwed."
"What do you mean?"
"You said that he met you in high school, right?"
"So, he thinks that you're a certain type of person, and he thinks that he will meet that same type of person later in his life when he's ready. But... when he's ready, that person's not going to be there. He has no idea how rare you are."
Cas smiled softly before saying, "What are those?"
Dean frowned and looked behind him, "What?"
"Those?" Cas gasped in realization, "You're giving me googly-eyes. You totally are, you're giving me googly-eyes!"
Dean rolled his eyes and laughed, "I'm just really thirsty right now, so those are my thirsty eyes. You look thirsty too. I'm going to get us some drinks," Dean slapped his hand down on Castiel's bare thigh and got himself out of bed.
Cas watched him shuffle away towards the kitchen and he smiled to himself. He shook his head and made to get out of the bed himself. "Can I pull a classic 'girl' move and confiscate your biggest, comfiest sweatshirt?" He yelled out. "I promise, I will not steal it."
"Yeah," Dean yelled back. "One sec."
Castiel hopped up to the closet and pulled open the door. His smile fell off his face as he saw that the closet was full of girls clothing. He frowned and fulled out a pink, frilly skirt. "Please be a cross-dresser," he mumbled and put the skirt back in the closet.
He walked over to a dresser and opened the top draw, Cas sighed sadly and pulled out a picture of Dean with a pretty brunette. Someone had sharpied, 'Dean and Lisa' on the photo frame and had drawn a little heart. Castiel backed up, photo still in-hand, and sat on the edge of the bed. He stared at the photo sadly, ignoring Dean calling out that he found some Peach Schnapps.
"The bottle was a little dusty but I think the liquor is still..." Dean came back into the bedroom but stopped short when he saw what was in Castiels hands. "..good."
"Where's Lisa?" Cas asked him.
Dean sighed, "San Francisco."
"You're with her?"
"That's a tough question to answer."
"No, it's not. See? You just did." Cas placed the photo on the bed and got up. He maneuvered past Dean, who had set the two cups of Schnapps down on the dresser Cas had found the photo in and began to pull his pants on.
"Cas, let's talk about this."
"You have the place to yourself, and, boy... Do you make the most of it. When does she get back?"
Dean sat on the bed where Cas had been sitting a moment ago. "She was supposed to get back this afternoon but her flight got canceled."
"I heard about that. Apparently there's this huge fucking blizzard," Cas snapped and did the button of his pants up. "You know," he fumbled around, picking up the rest of his discarded clothing. "I always wondered what it would be like to be the other guy. It feels better. Not great, but undeniably better." Cas turned his back to Dean was went over to look out a window.
"Hold on," Dean called.
Castiel wiped a stray tear off his face, "Thank God. The snow stopped." He sat on the couch, switched the TV on and finished getting dressed, watching Chuck Shurely talk about how the Transit was up and running again for the day.
"Can I show you something?" Dean suddenly appeared by him, holding a folded piece of paper in his hand.
"Please just leave me alone. I'm not mad. How can I be? I didn't ask and you didn't lie. I wanted meaningless sex," Cas wiped away another stray tear. "And I got it."
Dean sat down next to him on the couch and handed him the piece of paper. "Let me show you this. Please." Cas grabbed it from his hand. "Read it."
Cas sighed and unfolded it. He read the finely written, double-sided note as quick as he could. When he finished he shook his head in confusion and turned to face Dean. "So she dumped you but you still live with her? Does she know you like to have sex with men?"
"She didn't give it to me yet. And yes, she knows I like both sex's. Being bi isn't a crime."
"Yeah but cheating on your girlfriend is?" Castiel's voice was full of hurt. "I don't understand. And honestly, I don't care."
"Three weeks ago she asked me to look for her wallet and when I was looking for her wallet I accidentally found this. I didn't know what to do. So I gave her her wallet back at lunch and then the next day she left for tour."
Cas wiped his nose on his sleeve, "Tour? What is she, like..."
"She's a dj."
"Of course. Of course, she's like the coolest girl imaginable," Cas chuckled dryly.
"I made that profile because I wanted to have something to throw in her face whenever she
wanted to pull the trigger. And I know that's very immature," Dean sighed.
"You could have broken up with her," Castiel snapped.
Dean nodded, "Yeah, I thought about that. People talk about how great it is to be single and that's bullshit, joining the single party. It's not a party, it's a bunch of people sitting around in the dark, texting." Cas just stared straight ahead at the TV, Chuck Shurely was talking about snow plowing and how the subways and buses are starting to run again. "I did something stupid, and I'm sorry," Dean whispered.
Castiel pushed up off the couch, "Excuse me." He walked swiftly to the bathroom and shut the door just in time for the first sob to escape him. He stood with his back against the door and tried to control his breathing. When he heard the beeping of a machine outside, he wiped his face on his sleeves and opened the door once more. He grabbed his phone from the coffee table and ignored Dean's protests.
"Cas, I didn't.. what was I supposed to do? I didn't even know that you existed, I don't..." Dean moved into Castiels path and blocked him walking towards the door. "Look, I don't want her, I want you. I want you."
"And what makes you think that I want you? You're just some funny guy that works at a bank. I think you severely overestimate your ability to break hearts." Castiel pushed past Dean, holding in another wave of tears. He grabbed his scarf, opened the door and slammed it behind himself.
"Cas!" Dean called but Castiel didn't look back.

Cas pushed the snow-blocked door as hard as he could. It opened just enough so he could squeeze through with minor difficulty. He stumbled out into the thick snow, his shoes and socks instantly becoming wet and cold. He sighed, breath blowing out in a white fog and began his journey home.

Cas unlocked the door to his sisters apartment and was greeted with Anna's squeal of surprise. "Oh my God, Cas!"
"Hey." Anna was lying on the couch, face flushed, covered by a big blue blanket.
"Is that my duvet?" He questioned.
"Hi," Blaise said, popping out the other side
Castiels face scrunched up in disgust and he pulled his duvet off them. "Oh God. You guys are monsters." He stormed off towards his room.
"How was your date?" Anna called.
Cas just shook his head at her before he slammed his door.

After having a shower, Castiel grabbed his laptop and deleted his dating profile.

The next morning, Dean rolled out of bed and grabbed his laptop. He sat in the middle of his bed and clicked into Cas' profile. Profile not found popped up and he sighed.
"You looked so tired I wanted to let you sleep," Lisa said from the entrance way to the bedroom.
Dean jumped and closed his laptop with a snap. "Hey, what are you...," Dean looked up at her, she had her arms folded and she looked cross. He sighed, "Lisa we should talk."
"Yeah, I know. I found the note in the trash."
Dean looked at her puzzled, "I have the note right here." He grabbed it off his night stand and he swapped it with the one Lisa handed to him. He opened it and read, Thanks for last night. Awesome apartment. Xo, Cas. He smiled down at it.
"When did you find this?" Lisa asked him, snapping him out of his thoughts.
"Um, when I was looking for your wallet. By accident."
"I see what's going on here," Lisa came and sat at the end of the bed. "You read this, and then you wanted me to come home and find this slutty little lipstick haiku so that you could be the one that ended us."
"It was a guy, so, no lipstick. Besides, It's not a haiku, there's not enough syllables."
"You are a child."
"Yeah. Look, Lisa, we both know that we weren't right for each other. And I think we both knew that for a long time, but it's fine," Dean smiled. "We were just scared that the perfect person wasn't out there for us," he shrugged.
"And what if they're not?"
"I think they are."
Lisa sighed heavily. "Okay, so what now?"
"I can move my stuff over to Kevin's place. He owes me for a plunger."
"Okay. Let me know when you're out," Lisa got up off the bed and grabbed her jacket. They smiled at each other before she walked out the door.

Cas sat in his bed, breakfast sitting on his lap and his sister and Blasie at the end.
"Tell him, talk to him," Blaise whispered to Anna. Anna shook her head. "Cas, Anna has something she wants to tell you." Anna shot him a death glare before focusing her attention on a confused Castiel. "Okay. Listen, normally I'd wait to bring this up until after you'd recovered a bit, but Blaise and I sort of enjoyed having the place to ourselves the past couple nights."
"We did," Blaise cut in.
"And I wasn't sure that we would, 'cause I am so used to you always being here, you know? Like... nonstop, all the time. Um, but... baby, help me out, please," Anna looked at Blaise for support.
"Yeah, basically we were just thinking, what if you moved out, you know, like what would that be like?" Blaise said. "And you have to understand, you can stay here as long as you need,
until you get on your feet. A couple of days, three days... However long you want," he and Anna smiled at Cas. "Four days."
"No, I think... I think it's a really good idea," Cas said.
Blaise pumped his fists, "Yes!"
"You do?" Anna questioned.
"He says he does!"
"Look, I only moved to New York because of Balthazar. And I thought that if I went home it would just be admitting that. So I stayed and made sure that the Internet wasn't lonely. I needed a kick in the ass." Cas shifted his breakfast off is lap.
"Cool," Blaise grinned. "So do you know what you're going to do?"
"No. No, I have no fucking clue," Cas laughed. "No idea, unh-uh."
Anna and Blaise looked at each other awkwardly. "Do you know what this means?" She smiled at her brother softly. "That this is our last new year's Eve as roommates."
Cas smiled back at her tightly, "Awesome."

Dean sat on his stripped bed. He was surrounded by boxes full of his possessions and was talking on the phone. "Yeah, hey, so I realize this is probably word-for-word something that a crazy person would say, but I met a guy on your website a few nights ago and..."
"I think I can save us both some time here," the voice on the phone said.
"Yeah, no, no, no, I don't need his address or anything, I just need to know his last name."
"I'm sure it was magical, but we cant give our customers' personal information to anyone other than the police. So, provided you're not a cop, is there anything else I can help you with today?"
"Nope." Dean snapped his phone shut. He picked the Harvelles' plunger out of a box and stared at it thoughtfully.

Chatter and music consumed Anna's apartment. Cas sat on the couch alone, drinking cheap wine out of a plastic cup. He watched Chuck Shurely dance with himself on the TV screen.
"Castiel," a voice in the crowd called. Cas took another gulp of wine and prepared himself for another human interaction he did not want to have. The man sat down on the couch, too close for Castiels liking. "It's Gadreel. From bio class."
"How are you here?" Cas asked surprised. "Do you know Anna?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Gadreel smiled. "I'm good buddies with Blaise."
Anna s head popped into Castiels vision. "We're going to get more booze! Have fun you two," she winked at him and Gadreel and she tugged Blasie out the door.
"You!" Cas laughed. "You are the dumb, pretty guy!"
"Uh, thank you?"
"I was supposed to bang you. This is the universe correcting itself..." Cas drained the rest of his wine. "Oops."
"So where'd you decide on med school?" Gadreel prompted. "Just a surprise, I got into both my top choices but now I'm simply just trying to decide. It's a big decision and... and obviously my dad has opinions..."
"Castiel, Castiel?" Another drunk voice called to him in the crowd. "Police!" He found him and said, "Castiel, right?"
"Any noise complaints go to Anna or to Blaise, because this is their apartment now."
"Actually they're asking for you specifically," the drunk guy stated.
Two police officers walked through the door, "Castiel Milton?" One asked. Cas nodded. "You wanna step in the hall with us?"
He stood up carefully and frowned, "Why?"

At the station, the officer placed an evidence bag containing Castiels note on the table. "Officers found this in the Harvelles' bathroom."
Cas placed his hand on the note, "You don't understand. This guy is a psychopath. He's setting me up! He is setting this whole thing up! Which I realize is exactly what a crazy person would say but that explains my situation. He is so crazy that he is forcing me to sound crazy. Do you see what he's doing?"
The officer sighed, "Sir, did you, or did you not, break in through the window of Mrs Harvelles' apartment?"
Cas frowned sadly and lent back in his chair.

Several men stared at him in the holding cell. Cas just fiddle with the cuff on his trench coat and kept his eyes glued to the floor. "Which one of you is Castiel Milton?" Another office asked and opened the cell door. The man sitting next to Cas held up his hand. "You made bail."
"But that's impossible," the real Cas said. "I haven't even made my phone call!"

Dean stood at the front desk of the police station with a bouquet of flowers and a helium balloon. "He can do that? He can refuse my bail? Are you serious? Okay, look, I just... I need to talk to him."
The police officer manning the desk rolled his eyes, "You can only visit during visiting hours, and if, and only if, the person wants to see you. Which I'm gonna guess he doesn't, being that he would rather remain locked in jail than see your face."
"Wow... rude. Uh, okay, well, what if I told you that I helped he break into that apartment?
Then would you lock me up with him?" Dean asked hopefully.
"Yeah, that's how police stations work."
Dean's smile faltered. "Are you being sarcastic?"
"Are you serious?"
"I need to talk to him!"
"Oh, okay then." The officer looked back down at his paper work.
Dean sighed and ran his hand over his face. Outside he could hear people yelling out, "Happy New Year!"

The officer grabbed Cas from his cell, "How about these two? Are they special enough
to post your bail?"
"Oh my God, what happened?" Anna asked him, sweeping him up in a hug.
"Just take me home," Cas mumbled into her shoulder.
"Hey," Dean said, stepping into Castiel's path.
"Who's that?" Anna asked.
"I'm sorry. But I didn't know your last name. What was I supposed to do?"
"Literally anything but this!" Castiel snapped at Dean.
"Okay, you're upset, but, Cas, you felt something," Dean gestured to Cas and then to himself with the flowers. "And I felt something."
"What I felt was Stockholm syndrome," Castiel mumbled and made to move past Dean.
Dean stepped into his path again, "Hey, hey, I can't let you walk out another door without listening to me."
"Why are you doing this? You have a girlfriend." Castiel pushed past him with force.
Dean stopped him after a few steps, "That's over now. Look, Cas, let me explain. I should have told you about her, and there were times last night I wanted to tell you about her
and I should have, but there was other times last night that I forgot that other people even existed. And I know that sounds stupid, 'cause your friends are staring at me like my fucking dick is hanging out."
Blaise laughed and Anna hit him. "I'm sorry, it was funny."
"Sir?" The cop said.
"Okay, let's wrap this up. The cop's not happy, let's keep the cop happy. Cas?" Blaise prompted.
"You put me in jail, Dean!"
"I'm sorry."
"For criminals!"
"He's got about five seconds before he finds out firsthand," the cop warned.
"Okay, fine, fuck, shit," Dean bounced were he was standing. "Look, I messed up. I messed up, but I am really, really sorry. But you can't stop us before we even realize what we could be. And we should figure that out, maybe... Maybe we hang out and we realize we don't like each other. Maybe you're very intimidated by my dancing, or maybe I find out you're like.. Really racist."
Cas frowned and pointed at Blaise, who waved at Dean.
"Okay, that was a hypothetical. Look, all I'm saying is that there's a lot of stuff that I don't know about you and there's a lot that we need to talk about. I spent two nights with you, and that's not enough time. Give me more time, please.
"It was a little shaky in the middle but he finished strong. I'm touched," Blaise commented. "Castiel, what do we think?"
Cas looked Dean up and down. "I think you put me in jail."
Dean sighed, "We're still on that?" Cas pushed past him. "Look, hey, hey, come on," Dean jumped in front of him, making him stop in his tracks again. "Some day you're gonna laugh about this. I promise that you're gonna find this all very funny some day."
"Okay, let's make a deal. You give me your number, and leave. And the minute I laugh about it, I'll let you know." Cas fished his cell phone out of his pocket and handed it to Dean. Dean handed over the flowers and the balloon before typing in his number, giving Cas his phone back and walking out the door.

"Stay as long as you want," the police officer offered and lead Cas, Anna and Blaise to a semi-private waiting area. "That guy was nuts."
"Can I hang out with him?" Blaise asked as they sat down.
"Blaise," Anna said in warning.
"I'm just saying, I don't meet a lot of funny people. Okay, funny people don't drive ambulances."
Castiel fiddled with the balloon, he read, "I'm sorry," on one side and chocked out a laugh when he read the other. "I'm an asshole." "Shit," he laughed.
The three of them exited the police station, Cas digging out his phone and dialing his new contacts number.
"Hello?" Said Dean's voice.
"You are kind of an idiot, do you realize that about yourself?"
"You good?" Anna asked Castiel. He nodded and Anna smiled at him. She grabbed Blaise and they walked away.
"Yeah, I've heard that."
"Do you think in the spirit of constructive criticism, the next time you wanna win a guy back after doing something stupid, like practice your speech, or something for the next person, because I'm gonna be honest," Cas spotted Dean walking towards him down the side walk. "Yours just fucking sucked!" He hung up his phone and put it back in his pocket. "Shit, it was... I was embarrassed for you.." Dean swept him up in a kiss. Cas deepened the kiss by wrapping his arms around Deans shoulders. "That was was too soon," Castiel gasped when they broke apart. "Way too soon."
"That's fair. That's totally fair," Dean smiled. Cas smiled and began walking down the street, Dean grinned and followed him. "Okay, I'm sorry that I put you in jail, but have you thought
about what that's going to do for your street cred?"
"Yeah, of course, I have, that was like the first thing I thought of. Gonna get that shit tattooed."
Dean laughed, "And you don't have to worry about the Harvelle's pressing charges 'cause I took care of 'em."
"Did you murder the Harvelles'?"
"It had to be done."
"You did it without me?"
"Ahh... I think I'm ready for that kiss now," Cas stopped walking and turned to face Dean.
Dean smiled, "Yeah?"
Dean pulled Castiel close to his body and pressed his lips against Cas' again. "You taste like prison," he whispered.
Cas laughed. He watched some snow flakes fall into Dean's hair, "Is is really snowing again?"
"Yeah.. Look at 'em, a million tiny, little matchmakers. Thank you, snowflakes."
Cas pulled out of Deans embrace and took one of his hands. "So.. Your place or mine?"
"I don't have a place anymore."
"Me neither."
"You are a catch."
"So are you."