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Just When Everything Right Seems Wrong Again

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I returned from M5V-801 bruised physically and maybe a little emotionally. Jennifer Keller had informed me that Katie Brown put herself on the list to return to earth after Carson and I moved in together and our relationship became common knowledge. I know Katie is a big girl, and she can make her own choices. Nevertheless, I can’t help but feel a little at fault for that.

I can be a little behaviorally clueless when it comes to the matters of romantic attraction. I get certain social cues mixed up. Also, I have no idea how to flirt, let alone recognize when someone is legitimately flirting with me. In school, I was unfortunately guilty of stalking my lab partner Sheri Albert because I thought she liked me. She was the only girl who would talk to me. I didn’t take into account that she really just had to talk to me in the interest of getting a decent grade. It got awkward after that misunderstanding.

When it came to boys I was attracted to, that had been easy. My approach was: Stay away! Girls will yell at you, snub you, and call the authorities on you. Boys will beat you until you’re bloody. Having been accused once of paying more attention than I should have to a boy in advanced science camp when I was thirteen had been frighteningly educational. The boy had been sixteen and nowhere near my level of genius, but he was rather handsome and maybe I had looked a little longer than I should have when he came out of the shower room in only a towel. Nevertheless, he and his friends made sure I knew later that same evening that my attention was very unwelcome. It was practically dawn when a camp counselor finally found me in the engineering park, duck taped to a full-scale wooden trebuchet one of the junior engineering teams had been building.

After that, I kept my attraction for certain men well hidden. Then Cadman came along and scratched open that old wound. I have to admit, I found Carson more than a little attractive from the first day I met him, but I had become an expert at burying those urges by that time.

But back to Katie. I guess I really hadn’t noticed that Katie was still interested. It had been five months since we actually saw each other socially. I guess she hadn’t seen the hint even when Carson and I returned her trees and bromeliads to her that particular Monday morning. It wasn’t like we were overt in our togetherness, however. Neither one of us are into public displays. I guess, according to Carson, that had been one of his turn-offs about Cadman. She liked parading Carson around smugly in front of her friends, coworkers, the rest of Atlantis, and me. I think she had particularly like attaching herself to him in front of me. I think she had liked the nauseated look I would get on my face.

However, Carson hadn’t really like it at all. He had felt uncomfortable being Cadman’s fashion accessory. I can’t say that I disagree with him. I’m Glad Katie hadn’t been like that… or if she had, I hadn’t noticed. She was always so nice and I know she tried her best to understand me. It had been hard to hear that she was leaving. It had been especially hard to hear it from Jennifer Keller, who was possibly one of the few people who knew the whole reason why. Needless to say, I returned from M5V-801 with more on my mind than just a few bad rope burns.

Carson had been on another mission with Major Lorne’s team to a planet that was a trade partner with Atlantis. Apparently a strange new and possibly microbial respiratory infection was afflicting the people there and killing the very old and the very young. Carson and his team returned through the gate perhaps hours before I did with the rest of my team. Beat-up and exhausted, we went to the infirmary for our post mission check-out. I was told that Carson was already in his lab.

Then a nurse whose name I couldn’t remember informed both me and Dr. Keller that she thought Carson looked a little more anxious than usual. He seemed like a man on a mission and barely spoke to anyone unless it was to order test to be run on cultures he had collected. He had put his lab on a special quarantine lockdown and restricted movement in and out of the lab to shower-in/shower-out full biohazard suit bases.

Jennifer had looked especially distressed at that. I felt a little queasy at the thought.

Carson returned to our rooms that evening very late. He was scrubbed clean and smelled of antibacterial soap and shampoo, not the sexiest smelling soaps out there on the market. He smelled a little like betadine and baby shampoo mixed. It reminded me of the smell of an OR.

I didn’t know if he wanted to talk about it. Usually he would tell me right away if he wanted to discuss something that was bothering him or something he found unusual or disturbing. That night he was quiet and introspective. I tried to tell him about my adventure with Sam and Jennifer in the hopes of getting a reaction out of him. I even spun my best hyperbole on it while brandishing my rope-burnt, bandaged hands. He was so distracted that all I got was a slight grunt in acknowledgement and maybe a small eye roll. I couldn’t be sure. It could have been a suppressed yawn.

I thought maybe he just needed to sleep. I asked him if he was ready for bed. He told me no.

“How about I give you one of those massages I owe you,” he said.

Who am I to turn down a massage? I shut up immediately, stripped naked and laid down on our bed. Carson came over to me holding the special oil he uses on me for massages. It’s a sandalwood oil that he had brought back from his last trip to earth, and it smells very soothing. He told me that that was the point. It was an aroma therapy thing. However, I think I will never be able to smell the scent of sandalwood again without getting a boner or falling into a complete languid stupor.

He started with my shoulders this time. His hands were strong and sure on my skin and his fingers dug in with just the right pressure. He teased the knots out of the muscles of my shoulders and neck with just enough force to hurt in a good way. It felt fantastic and his fingers slipped over my skin, lubricated by the fragrant oil. He has a way of getting under my shoulder blades, and I couldn’t reliably tell you how he does it. He somehow uses the heel of his hand to lift the shoulder blade while the other hand digs in, fingers manipulating the muscles under there. That part of the massage made me sigh like I just had a mini orgasm.

When he hit the large muscles of my lower back, I knew I had to pay extra close attention. This was where I could get droopy and sleepy, and if I wasn’t careful, I would be out like a light. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to be awake to enjoy the whole massage. It was nice to be so relaxed, but what use was all this fantastic pleasure if you weren’t awake to enjoy it?

He hit my buttocks and spent some time there, but not as much time as I would have liked. Then it was on to my legs. I turned my head to watch him a while as he worked over my thighs and calves. He was careful when he saw bruises. Did I mention my last mission had been more physical than I cared for? I fell in a hole in the ground, and it only got worse before it got better. Carson was very gentle with the bruises, edging them carefully. He then went to my feet.

Once again, I had to pay close attention. The foot rub was unadulterated heaven. I could have him rub my feet forever. Normally, I don’t like when other people handle my feet. Having always been extremely ticklish, I’ve never been able to take it when someone other than myself touches my feet. One time when I was a small kid, I kicked a shoe salesman in the face when he tried to measure my foot size. I think my mother gave the man a tip after the bloody nose I gave him.

However, Carson was exceptional as always with my feet, rubbing each toe individually and kneading the arch in perfectly precise circles that hit the nerve there just right. Then he headed back up my legs. The touch had changed now and I noticed it immediately. His fingers were gentle and not as persistent. Where they pressed and drove before, they now stroked and caressed.

Oh yes, we were heading into the sensual part of the massage and I was glad I had stayed awake. He went up my legs again with long slow strokes. Once he reached my inner thighs, he got down to business. He went back to my buttocks, kneading them slowly. His fingers moved down my crack carefully, pulling my butt cheeks apart. I felt the cool air on my sensitive skin there. Then one of his fingers traced up from my perineum to my anus in a slow, gentle stroke. Once at my anus it made a tickling little circle around the ring of muscle. I couldn’t stop the grunt and the shudder that that move made me produced.

I lifted my hips a little, pressing into his touch.

“Hush, baby,” he whispered. His voice was like silk against my frayed nerves. All the concerns of the day slipped away to nothing on the sound of his voice.

His other hand was on the small of my back as he continued to stroke up and down my perineum. His fingers lightly touched my ball sack. My breathing became deeper. I was practically breathless in arousal. His hands left me for a moment and he touched my shoulder gently.

“Turn over, Love,” he said.

I obeyed, flipping myself to my back and exposing my half hard cock to him. I looked up into his bright blue eyes as he looked down on me. He began to stroke my chest in slow long strokes, moving over my pectorals and down to the edge of my ribs. He then stroked back up, moving lightly over my collar bone and across my shoulders.

“You’re so very lovely,” he whispered, and I looked at him amazed, as I always was, that he thinks so much of me. I mean, who am I but a somewhat egotistical genius in his late thirties with a receding hair line and slightly thickening waistline?

He sat down next to me on the bed now, and his hands rubbed up and down my chest. Each stroke was slow and gentle. One hand glided over my belly, reaching lower as the other came up to my pectorals. He began to gently stroke my left nipple with his fore finger as the other hand slipped down, reaching past my ball sack. He massaged my balls with a firm yet gentle hand.

My head lolled back and I groaned as my thighs fell open before him. I couldn’t resist him. I could only surrender to him. My cock was throbbing in time to my rapid heartbeat and thickening as it filled to a firm erection. I watched him apply more oil to his hand. The next time he stroked past my balls to my anus again. His finger sunk in with a deliciously smooth slide and I gasped, my back arching and my hips lifting into his touch.

“Oh God, Carson,” I gasped. “Want you…”

My nipples were hard beneath his touch and I was so hungry for him that my mouth was watering. He lowered his head to my chest and sampled my left nipple, sucking it gently at first. Then he let his tongue lap over it a few times before he took it again between his pressed lips and pulled on it. His left hand continued to play with my other nipple, rolling it gentle between thumb and forefinger and flicking it softly with only his thumb.

All the while his right hand continued to stroke up my balls and back down to my anus. His middle finger would sink into my hole as far as he could reach. It moved in and out in smooth strokes with a little twist at each deep inward thrust. He was driving me wild with passion. My thighs were open wide now and my knees lifted. My hands grabbed under my knees to hold them spread. Every muscle was tensed and tightened as I strained to open myself to the pleasure he was giving me. My toes were curling so hard that the strain in my calf muscles was almost too much.

“Oh for fuck sakes, Carson! Fuck me!” I whispered harshly.

Suddenly it all stopped. My eyes, which I had not realized that I had shut, flew open to look to him. He was hurriedly removing clothes. His shirt was thrown to the ground almost violently. His pants were undone in a rush and stripped at once, carrying boxers down with them. He was hard and ready for me.

He climbed onto the bed between my spread legs. He was looking me over with this look of longing and hunger I’d only rarely seen in his eyes before. He stroked one of my thighs, gently running his hand down to stroke over my balls and perineum and anus.

“I love you so much,” he whispered on the end of a heavy breath. His other hand was smoothing more oil over his perfect erection. He stroked it slowly, pressing into each stroke with his hips a little. My mouth watered again as I watched. I loved his cock. I loved to feel it and touch it and taste it. I wanted it now. I wanted him inside of me, and I wanted him in my mouth as well.

“Please, Carson,” I begged him.

My thighs were spread wide, my knees bent and my feet dangling in the air. My hips canted up, I was presenting to him. With my hands, I reached down to pull my butt cheeks open for him. My skin was still slippery with the massage oil. I couldn’t keep a good grip, but I tried. He took hold of one of my thighs while his other hand applied more oil to my hole. Two fingers slipped in easily and I relaxed the muscles there as much as I could. Then we were ready. He guided his cock into me, moving slowly. He entered me in one long, smooth thrust that took my breath away for a moment. He was in me. He leaned over me, placing his hands against the bed above my shoulders. Carson kissed me. He kissed me deeply, passionately and slowly. His tongue going deep, he pressed to me with all of himself and with his kiss. I knew I was going to wind up in the morning with rug burn from his beard’s stubble. However, at the moment, I really didn’t care.

As he continued to kiss me, he began to move in me. His strokes were strong but slow. He was enjoying the slow glide of his cock as it filled me. I have to admit, I was enjoying it too. He ended the kiss with a small nip at my lower lip, and he picked up the rhythm of his thrust. I looked up into his clear blues eyes as he looked down on me, and our bodies collided in a steady beat.

“You’re so beautiful, love,” he whispered. “Your eyes are so bright and lovely… such a beautiful blue!”

Coincidently, I was thinking the same thing about his eyes. Except maybe I was thinking how intense and pure the blue of his eyes were. The color of his eyes were like if someone made a cloudless blue sky into a pure, clean liquid. At the moment, I was so very mesmerized by those eyes as I looked up at him that I couldn’t speak. All I could do was watch him. His dark hair was still moist from his recent shower, but sweat was breaking out across his brow as he loved me. His nostrils flared as he took in a breath and his lips trembled as if he was on the edge of kissing me or biting me fiercely.

I was still holding my thighs open for him as he pounded into me. He was starting to lose control. I gasped, hissing in pain, and arched my back once when he went a little too hard. He slowed then, his hand came up to stroke my hair soothingly. The look in his eyes was a look of guilt and concern.

“Oh love,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry…” He lowered himself to me for a soft kiss. He trailed the kisses across my jaw and to my neck. He tenderly sucked on my collar bone for a moment before moving down to my nipples.

His thrust were smooth and easy again. He angled himself against me to make his strokes count. Soon my back was arching not from discomfort but because he was hitting my prostate perfectly. I began to whimper on each breath. He moved inside of me ever so adeptly as he worshiped my nipples with his lips and tongue.

My head turned and I caught sight of our refection in the dark westward facing window. He looked incredible against me, like a sex god, his back arched and his hips moving in a solid, effortless pace. The smooth rhythmic flex of his hip, buttock and thigh muscles was beautiful beyond belief. He was pushing into me with so much power and potency that I was completely lost in him. He was fucking me with a surging, rhythmic weaving motion of his body that was hypnotic to watch.

“Carson…. So good…so good…,” was all I could get out between pants and cries of pleasure. He was sucking on my nipples and fucking me out of my senses. I knew that tonight would be one of those nights. He was going to literally fuck the cum out of me.

He came back up to kiss me again, grabbing my attention away from our reflection. His hips were moving faster now, driving deep inside of me while he pressed close against me, pressing my hard cock between our bodies and trapping it within the rhythm of our love. He was looking at me so lovingly and whispering my name.

“Oh Rodney, my love… my beautiful love. I want you. I want you forever. I want to be inside of you forever. Rodney, I love you…”

“Forever…,” I echoed. I could feel the orgasm building in the base of my balls. I couldn’t hold back. “So… Damn… Good!”

My eyes squeezed shut as a strangled cry was wrung from my chest. My back arched as I came hard. My climax slammed into me causing my senses to enter a delicious mini fugue of pleasure. I convulsed and shivered all over as my cock pulsed cum between us. My head fell back hard against the pillows of the bed and my legs wrapped tight around Carson as I flew home on the sweet storm of a mind-blowing orgasm.

My eyes opened just in time to watch Carson roar over me like a lion deep in the throes of passion. He trembled and his body was tensed, held tight in the agony of inescapable, pure bliss. Then with a slight convulsion, he pitched forward on me, laying against my chest, both of us panting and breathless.

My thighs were trembling from effort now, and I let my legs relax and fall open from him. Carson lifted himself slowly out of me and rolled to lay by my side. We laid panting next to each other, staring at the ceiling for a long moment.

Then I said, “That was massage number three. I still have three more coming to me, right?”

I looked at him, and he looked at me.


A week and a few days later, I was walking through the corridors on my way to the Control Room when I happened upon Jennifer Keller. She was heading for a conference room on the central control floor.

“Hi, Rodney,” she said. She was holding her tablet computer to herself and she looked more than a little troubled, and that, of course, made me feel more than a little worried.

“Hey,” I replied, slowing to allow her to catch up with me.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” she said giving me that tight lipped look of concern that I knew couldn’t mean anything good.

“Yeah,” I said.

“Has…has Carson seemed a little… I don’t know… upset maybe, to you?”

“Upset?” I could honestly say that he did seemed a little out of sorts, but I wasn’t sure if I would have called it ‘upset.’

“I don’t know what else to call it,” Jennifer explained as she looked at me. “He’s just not… He seems so….”

“Depressed?” There, I said it. It was true. Something was different. Something was making Carson unhappy and I really didn’t know what it was. I really didn’t try hard to find out either. It wasn’t like I didn’t care. I just wanted him to have his space.

Keller frowned. “I thought maybe you would know… I mean, has he talked to you about what he’s been working on?”

“Actually, no.” Now I was frowning because it occurred to me that Carson hasn’t even shared a peep about what his whole quarantine lab was all about.

“Well, he’s called a meeting of both the pathology and genetics departments,” she said. “I’m heading there now. He had me pull some old data up about a viral agent he help create on a planet called Hoff? Do you know what it means?”

I felt a little sick at the mention of Hoff, and I could only speculate at what it all meant. I didn’t like it at all. “You weren’t here for that little fiasco,” I said.

“No,” she replied. “I arrived about eighteen months after that, apparently.”

“It’s was a drug meant to give immunity to Wraith feeding. The only problem was that the serum had a nasty side effect of acute death in fifty percent of the patients treated.”

“Holy shit!” she said softly. She then looked down briefly at the tablet computer she was carrying. Then she looked back up at me.

“I hope that doesn’t mean what I think it means,” I said on a slight groan.

“I hope it doesn’t too,” she said. Her eyes were round in dread. “I better go,” she then said and hurried off to her meeting.

I continued on to the Control Room. Teyla was ‘gating’ out to earth for her two day meeting with representatives of the IOA. Things were tense enough around here without the resurfacing of failed ventures and the rehashing of old transgressions. I only prayed that Carson knew what he was doing.