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English
Series:
Part 1 of Hold Me Fast
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Published:
2012-11-10
Updated:
2014-02-17
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35,791
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12/?
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Tumble Homeward

Summary:

Post Season 8 fic. Dean and Castiel had a kid named Jace James Samuel Winchester, except Sam and Cas don’t know and haven’t seen Dean in 10 years. When Dean gets captured by demons, his son needs help getting him back. Who does he turn to?

Notes:

Spoilers up to 8.7 (I think). Destiel love child fic. Mpreg is mentioned, but there aren't any graphic details, nor will there ever be any graphic details. For all we know, the baby teleported out of a non-existent uterus. Also, slightly graphic descriptions of torture. I hope I covered all the warnings! Let me know if I didn't. Titles taken from Mumford &Sons’ newest album, Babel. I was listening to this album when I wrote this. Enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Love the One You Hold

Chapter Text

It was just like the start of any true horror show. A young man, barely into his teens, walks up to his house and pauses at the slightly opened door. Unlike any normal boy, he pulls his backpack around and digs deep until he can feel the cold metal in his palm. He draws the weapon out as he pushes the door open. “Dad?” He calls tentatively, his heart beating hard and fast against his ribs. He gasps, his eyes widen, and his jaw drops at the sight of his living room.

The trail of wreckage starts at the front entrance and makes its way into the living room, knocked over tables, torn couch and chairs, smashed glass and TV. The thing that interests the young man most is the blood on the far wall, making it the first thing someone sees when they enter, spelling out, “Trade your angelic ass for your father’s, and he might live. All my love, Crowley.”

The teenager is frozen for a few moments before taking a breath and closing his mouth. He tucks the gun in the back of his jeans as he moves a little bit further into the house. Sadly, he knows exactly what to do. They had planned for it and packed bags and have a safe house. But before he leaves and starts on the plan, he defies a direct order from his father: don’t take any personal belongings.

He picked his way into the house where he knew of the lock box that contained all the baby pictures and family photos that his father kept safe. He also picked up a duffel bag, packing tomes, clothes and a variety of weapons, from Rosary beads and holy water to the demon-killing knife and his father’s favorite pistol. Armed to the teeth and supported by a plan, Jace James Samuel Winchester made his way out of his childhood home.

~

Dean Winchester collapsed into the squeaky motel room chair with a huge sigh and a beer at his lips. His brother, Sam, sat down a few feet away on one of the double beds, elbows to knees, hands clasped, back tense and eyes searching. He opened his mouth to speak, but in thinking better of it, shut it once more. He huffed a sigh.

Dean rolled his eyes and tipped his head to the side to steal a glance at Sam. “Dude, just say it.” He took another drink.

Sam gulped and shifted on the bed once more. “I was thinking”

“Uh-oh…” Dean interrupted smarmily.

"Dean," Sam scolded. Dean sighed and waved his hand, dropping the beer he had onto the table. "I was thinking that now that we got our holy grail and the gates of hell are closed, I would go back to Amelia." He looked up at Dean, who was staring at the beer in his hand.

Dean sat thinking about life without Sam. He thought about how Sam was his last person on earth. Castiel was in heavenly jail, by his own choice, and any friends he'd had before were dead. And now... now with the changes that are going to happen very soon... He gulped, sitting up and rubbing his hands on his pants. He sighed, not wanting to think about any of that in front of his brother. "I'm going out for a bit," he announced as he stood up.

Sam's shoulders slumped. "Sammy, don't be like that. I have to go think. Drive." Sam looked up again with that lost puppy look on his face, only a slight difference between his puppy looks.

He left and got into his baby and started driving. For the past two weeks he's vomited 24 times. Nausea welcomed him every morning it seemed. It had only been maybe two months since Cas left them for heaven. It was still too early to tell, right? It's not like this had ever happened before and it's not like his body is meant for it at all. But with the mood swings, the vomiting, and the slight bleeding, there was only one thing his mind could attribute all of those things with. Add in the fact that he had angel dick up his ass almost two months ago, and there was his answer.

That damn feathery bastard never mentioned anything like this. He would need to do research to see if this ever happened to men when angels went around sleeping with humans on a regular basis. Research, he hated research. It was one of the good things about having a partner, a brother. But he couldn't even comprehend telling Sammy that he might be a little bi, let alone pregnant.

Pregnant. Meaning a baby. Not just a baby, half angel, half human. Oh god.

Dean pulled over to the side of the road, now just outside of town and jumped out of his precious baby. He ran as far as he could, which was just off the shoulder of the road, before he threw up.

After he was done getting rid of his dinner and any beer he might have drank, he wiped his mouth and went to lean against the Impala. His mind was blank until it flashed with one word: Nephilim. What the hell would his child look like? It’s half celestial wave of intent and half flesh and bone and soul. His mind couldn't get around it. He guessed that was something else he'd have to research.

And there it was. There was his answer. He was so lost with this kind of thing. His body would be going through changes that he had no clue about and then he'd have to figure out a way to get the baby out once it was done growing inside him because no way was it getting out the same way it went in. He most definitely will need help. But not Sammy's help. No, he wanted to go be with the love of his life. He really did need to stop sneering every time he thought, heard, or spoke those words. The only love he had truly believed in was his love for Sam. Sam's love for him has obviously been overridden. And Dean has never loved anything more than Sam. Not even Castiel.

God, the kid would only have him. No woman, no other man, no angel to help or support or teach. Only shitty, old him. He did okay raising Sammy, but that was a long time ago. He's changed. He's been to all the dimensions now, heaven, hell, purgatory, and earth. Jesus Christ, he didn't even know how old he was now. In his mid-thirties? His body keeps disappearing or dying and coming back, that he has no idea how aging will work for him. His soul was a different matter. His soul was easily 80 years old. How was he supposed to raise an infant? By himself?

Dean scrubbed a hand over his face. He started to feel light headed. God, he needed to back up. What did he need to do now, what needed deciding right now? Sam, stay or go? Go, he won't be happy here and Dean didn't particularly think he'd want him around for the pregnancy thing and the birth thing. He'd probably love to be an uncle though. Okay, so Sam goes.

Where do I go?

~

Stealing a car was easy. Driving when you look 15 but have only actually been on this planet for 9 years? Not so easy.

JJ drove the car he stole with a thick book under his ass. This way he looked tall enough that any cop would think he was at least 16 or older. He was in no way done growing and if what his father had told him about how tall his uncle was true, he might be taller than his dad someday.

He smiled slightly remembering the times when his father told him of his uncle. It was usually right at bedtime when he did. It was frequently about the monsters they hunted or stories that involved an angel or two.

The angel thing was something he had to sort out for himself his dad had said. His dad didn't want to put anything in his head to hate his other parent. Instead he kept everything that he told him about Castiel good and worthy of a true hero. When he was at that age where he loved love stories, his dad would tell him all of the more romantic stories of him and his angel. How Castiel had given up heaven for him and how the angel had saved his father from monsters and demons and hell itself.

When he was old enough to be curious to ask where his father was, his father had said that Castiel was back in heaven, his home, and that's where he chose to be. But JJ also knew that Castiel had no clue he existed. His father had made it very clear that if Cas had known he had a son, he would have stayed and helped and loved JJ just like he did. And now JJ might be able to pray for Castiel to come help, but his father had made it very clear that if anything were to happen, he should go to Sam first. Cas was a last resort, the atomic bomb. So JJ was going to Kermit, Texas.

~

He woke to the smell of leather and blood. He could immediately tell that he was bound similarly to how he was during the first thirty years he was in hell. He groaned as he woke. His head was throbbing and the lights were way too bright, especially for a demon's torture chamber.

"Wakey, wakey, Deany boy," crooned a voice that was way too familiar and yet he hadn't heard it in many, many years. He was supposed to never hear that voice again. Why was it right here?

He opened his eyes and Crowley’s infamous meat suit was staring down at him. He groaned loudly. He would have cursed as colorfully as he was in his mind right now if his mouth didn't have a strap of leather in it.

"Nice to know you didn't forget little old me. When we were finally freed from hell, which was way too over crowded with all us demons back by the way, we were so surprised to hear about your little angelic offspring."

His heart was beating a mile a minute. JJ was all on his own for now. He'd have to try to escape before JJ came to make a trade or bring Sam or, please god no or Castiel. That would be utter disaster. He needed to make sure JJ was safe. He needed-

Pain bloomed brilliantly on his cheek as his ears processed the noise of the smack. "Dean you aren't listening to me."

Oh the many snarky things he could have said at that point.

"I really like having you gagged. It makes everything so much easier and so much less annoying. Of course I can't wait to show you all of the new things I learned in the pit." Crowley crouched down low next to his ear and whispered, "It'll be a scream." Dean closed his eyes as Crowley laughed.

"I get to do with you what I want while we wait for little Nephilim to show his face for the trade. And Dean, there are so many things I want to do to you."

Dean felt a sheet being pulled back and cold air hitting all his skin that wasn't strapped down with heavy pieces of leather.

"Let's get started!"

~

Missouri Moseley had to be one of the most wonderful people ever. Dean felt very sure of this when she came into his bedroom after he'd been sitting with his newborn son for two hours already. He could have sworn there was a halo around her head when she offered her arms to take the little boy so that Dean could get some sleep.

"Thank you," Dean almost moaned as the weight was lifted from his arms.

"Go back to bed now. I’ll stay in here until he quiets down and then I’ll put him back with you.”

Dean groaned as he hauled himself out of the arm chair. “Okay, jus’ don’ take ‘im outta the room. Stay here,” he mumbled as he took the two steps to collapse onto his bed.

“We’ll stay in here,” Missouri assured him and settled into the chair.

 

Dean only woke again when he felt himself being rearranged and a tiny warm body placed on his chest. He hummed and wrapped his arms around his son, a great warmth spilling out of his heart and spreading out to the edges of his body. He had never felt this way about anyone before. He’d thought the only person he’d ever love the most was Sammy. Romantically, he’d only ever thought he loved Cassie, and then nothing until Cas. But Cas was a new and absent thing and the feelings he felt for him were never static. Then his son came into being and he had felt nothing like this, ever. He fell asleep easily once he knew his son was safe and in his arms.

~

“Come on, come on!” JJ huffed under his breath. He’d been trailing his Uncle Sam in his car for three hours now. He had to have caught on. “Just realize someone’s following you and do a maneuver to confront me. Come on!”

The thing he’d been waiting all afternoon for didn't occur until 40 minutes later when he’d followed his uncle’s car into the warehouse district and it was all too obvious that he was making his move. The car’s tires screeched as it spun to a halt, blocking the only exit for JJ. He stopped a few yards from Sam’s car. Sam, his Uncle Sam, the veritable brick wall, jumped out of the car with a pistol trained on him. JJ sighed, his stomach full of butterflies.

He stepped out of the car, empty hands raised and out of the door first. “I’m not armed!” JJ shouted to Sam. The man got a confused puppy look on his face, one that he had described to him many times over his childhood. JJ smirked as he stepped in front of the open car door. “Well, actually that’s a lie. Hunters are always armed. Isn't that right Sam Winchester?” He dropped his arms at his sides, relaxed.

Sam lowered his gun slightly, moving forward carefully. “You’re a kid. What are you doing, following people?”

They were a few feet apart now; Sam’s hands still clenched on the gun, but no longer pointed directly at JJ. “ Didn't you hear me just now? I’m a hunter,” JJ said slower. He sighed and got straight to the greeting that was taught to him by his father as standard operation for whenever you meet another hunter.

Fast as can be, he kicked the gun out of Sam’s hands, took the water gun from the front of his pants and sprayed Sam’s face with holy water, then dropped the gun when his flesh wasn't steaming. He grabbed Sam’s wrist and took out his silver knife from inside his jacket and cut along his arm. No stinging. A smaller container filled with Borax came out next, again from inside his jacket and was sprinkled on Sam’s hand. Nothing. Sam was clean.

JJ looked up at Sam. He almost laughed due to the expression of indignation. “You’re clean. Now me.”

He raised his arm and filled the knife around so that Sam could take it and cut him. Sam got out his own knife and cut into his arm, just enough to draw blood. JJ winced. He wasn't all that used to being on the received end of this greeting. Being half angel, he wasn't susceptible to the common forms of possession, so his father never bothered to check him. JJ was never out of his father’s sight long enough for anything to happen anyway.

“You’re clean,” Sam told him, once he’d finished. He stood back and stared at JJ. “You say you’re a hunter. What do you want?”

JJ gulped, wrapping his arm in a piece of cloth. “My father is a hunter too. He said you were the best, years ago. He claims to be the best now, but I need help and he’s been taken.”

Sam leaned against the car, “How do you know he didn't just walk out?”

JJ shook his head. “There was a message left on the wall, in his blood.”

“Was it signed?” Sam asked, sounding rather petulant.

JJ’s lips tightened into a thin line and he tipped his head, “Look, I can tell you all you want to know, but only if you promise you can help me. If not, I need to go looking elsewhere and this would have been a terrific waste of time. So here’s what you need to know: My father, a hunter, has been taken by something supernatural and I need your help to get him back. What is it going to be?” JJ’s chest was heaving by the end.

There was an awful pause full of eye contact and JJ’s heart going a mile a minute, so scared he’d be turned down. Finally, Sam spoke.

“I haven’t hunted in 10 years. What if I’m rusty?” Sam asked arms crossed in front of his massive chest.

“Oh you are most definitely rusty. You didn't do anything about the guy following you for almost 4 hours. But I know you used to be the best and this is what my father told me to do in case this happened. Come to you for help. Come to the best for help.”

Oh, that’s what he meant by bitch face, JJ thought.

“Fine. I’m in for now. I’m willing to hear what you know and help you plan. But I can’t promise you I’ll help in any physical way. I stopped hunting a long time ago and it was for a very good reason and I can’t turn my back on that reason. Got it?”

JJ’s shoulders slumped in relief. “Yes. I understand.”

Sam lowered his arms to his sides and then stuck one out, “First things first. What’s your name?”

JJ looked at the hand and took a moment to recognize how surreal this was. Then he took his uncle’s hand and looked back into his eyes. “JJ.”