The Force has awakened. Kylo Ren has felt it. Supreme Leader Snoke has felt it. Luke Skywalker has presumably felt it, wherever he is these days. The Knights of Ren have felt it. Even the girl, Rey, has felt it. Not that you care about her. Most importantly, though, you have felt it.
For no reason at all, you are standing outside of the interrogation room on Starkiller Base and have sliced into the surveillance system, listening to Kylo Ren doing his work. It has been the first time you have ever seen the man without his helmet on, and this has not been for a lack of trying on your part. Ren wears that helmet everywhere.
Upon carrying out this act and seeing Ren's face for the first time, you totally did not kiss the view screen and squeal like a besotted teenage girl. When Kylo Ren had gone on and said things such as, 'I feel it too,' and, 'I can take anything I want,' you also did not respond with an, 'Oh, yes!' and, 'Take me!' Because that would totally not be professional and you are the consummate professional.
Anyway, the point is, this experience has only reiterated that you have excellent taste in men. This is not you being a stalker or having an obsession or anything like that. Not at all.
You, like Rey, come from a backwater planet. You, like Rey, have a mysterious past. However, you, unlike Rey, have not had the pleasure of being interrogated by Kylo Ren. Yet. Keep telling yourself that. Yet. It will happen, you think. It has to. You know things you won't tell people, just like Rey. You're special too. You have to be special. Or something.
Anyway, the thought occurs to you that they should make resisting interrogation techniques an officer's training workshop. You quickly send a holomessage to General Hux with this idea, since you're still at the terminal in the corridor. This training thing absolutely needs to happen, and you have expressly mentioned that Kylo Ren needs to be the faux interrogator. Because reasons. You're pretty certain General Hux may even do it as long as it inconveniences everyone. Which it will. You're brilliant. You resist the urge to pat yourself on the back.
When Kylo Ren comes out of the room, you nonchalantly walk down the hall in front of him. You briefly glance over your shoulder at him. You hope he's staring at your derriere. Not that you can tell because he's wearing his helmet again. He turns down another hallway. He was totally staring, you think in a very self-satisfied way.
You, unlike Rey, walk through the corridors of Starkiller Base confidently. Rey is on the lam now, having had the audacity to run from Kylo Ren. You just saw it after slicing into the next terminal in your path. You don't understand her reaction, but you want her as far from Ren as possible. You'll let someone else sound the alarm. However, when it comes to walking around, you own this like a boss, you think smugly to yourself. You straighten your spine. You swing your hips. You give a sultry smile even though there is no one around to see it. You turn a corner and almost walk into Captain Phasma.
She briefly stops and looks at you. It's a questioning look. How you can tell even though she's wearing her shiny helmet is beyond you. It must be the Force, you reckon.
Phasma sounds confused. "Lieutenant."
You deign to acknowledge her and nod your head briefly. "Captain."
Okay, so she caught you giving a sultry smile and swinging your hips for no reason. You will not be embarrassed about it- even though you know she's going to spread yet another rumor about you in the Officer's Lounge. She'll get hers.
Then you continue on your way to the bridge. You are almost late, but not quite. You go and sit at your station. You look good doing it. Your black uniform hugs your body in all the right places. Your hair is immaculately coifed. You are forced to endure countless hours in the gym with your colleagues, so you are totally rocking the fit look too. There is so much to be smug about here.
From the corner of your eye you can see General Hux eyeing you from the corner of his eye. He always does this. At first, you even thought he may have had a thing for you, but it has since become apparent that he loathes you. He loathes everyone. No, this is about your Kylo Ren fixation. It always is. How he figured it out is beyond you, but he's always more than willing to use it to his advantage.
He turns and faces you fully. "Lieutenant, have you seen Lord Ren anywhere?"
You look up at him with an innocent expression that you know makes men go weak at the knees. "No, sir."
The general is not impressed. He narrows his eyes at you. "He's not answering his comlink."
He's saying it as if it is your fault. You know better than to answer, so you settle on looking at General Hux expectantly and awkwardly. There is a lot that is awkward about this.
You eventually turn back to your station and work on making sure the sun is being sucked up effectively. It is. It doesn't require anything except you just watching it. If things were to go wrong, what could you do anyway?
Get the hell out, you think. That's what you could do. However, you chastise yourself for such disloyal thoughts. You accidentally skipped General Hux's last propaganda speech to sneak into the locker room the Knights of Ren use just to see if you could snag one of Kylo Ren's extra cloaks. You tell yourself you'll double down and be extra pro-First Order to make up for it.
Suddenly, it dawns on you that perhaps General Hux is aware that you weren't there at the rally. Horror washes over you at this thought. That could be a career-killing move. Sure, you have one of Ren's cloaks to sleep with now, but what good will it do if you're demoted and sent to a remote outpost somewhere far from the man himself? You panic. Your way forward is clear. It's like the Force itself is blaring it to you. You must kiss ass.
Speaking of the Force, and who has felt it, you wonder if General Hux has felt the Force awakening?
You turn to General Hux and clear your throat loudly.
He momentarily ignores you. He is looking out the viewport and drinking caf. His shoulders are even too stiff doing that. It's unnatural, even for a military man. He sneers into his cup of caf for no discernable reason. No, you decide. General Hux has not felt any awakening in the Force at all.
You clear your throat again.
This time, General Hux turns to look at you, all cool disdain. "Yes, Lieutenant?"
You straighten up smartly in your seat. You give a winning smile that you know will be lost on the man before you. "Sir. I just wanted you to know that I thought your speech earlier was brilliant."
His look turns calculating. "Which part did you like best, Lieutenant?"
Your heart leaps into your throat. You haven't really thought this through, have you? Your smile turns brittle. You look at General Hux coyly through your lashes. "Why, sir, I couldn't pick just one part."
Was that laying it on too thick, you wonder?
General Hux gives you a positively evil smirk.
Yes. Yes, you did lay it on too thick. That smirk is unnatural and you know that whatever happens next, you've brought it all on yourself.
"Lieutenant? The last I heard, Lord Ren was in a mood. I still need to speak with him though. Do go fetch him for me, would you?"
While you may be attracted to a mysterious and powerful man in a mask, even you don't have a death wish. Describing Kylo Ren's fits of temper as being in a mood, could definitely qualify as an understatement. You have spent more than enough time filling out requisition forms for maintenance on every piece of equipment that man has ever destroyed, after all.
You stand warily and straighten up properly. You clear your throat feebly. "Yes, sir."
It came out as a croak, practically. This has only served to put General Hux in an excellent mood, which means he only seems more insufferable than usual. You scowl at him as he turns back to the viewport.
You slice into another computer terminal, wondering why others don't seem to do this. This is the best way to find anyone. Once you do, you watch, horrified, as Kylo Ren runs a man through with a lightsaber. Considering the man doesn't belong on Starkiller Base, you assume he's part of the Resistance. On closer inspection, it dawns on you that it is Han Solo, Ren's estranged father. You know all about Ren, after all. You could be his therapist if you had to.
Despite yourself, you're truly horrified. Who kills their father? Tragedies were made of things like this. However, one look at Rey and that traitor FN-2187 makes it clear that you can't go their route. You will be there for Kylo Ren and you will help him feel better about killing his father because his father was Resistance anyway, and that's not on.
You see that Ren's attention is turned towards the girl and FN-2187 as he follows them outside, after being shot viciously by a Wookie. You'd take on a Wookie for Kylo Ren if you were inclined to do so. Which you're not, really. However, it's the thought that counts, you think to yourself self-righteously. The things you will not do for love!
After briskly speed walking down the corridor- you so weren't running- you make it outside into the cold snowy plain. You follow Kylo Ren and company into the forest. You're far enough behind that you only get there for the part where Ren is essentially begging the girl to be his student.
You fist your hands together to the point your fingernails have drawn blood. If you had a lightsaber, there would be no more girl. You can tell he was just toying around with her up to that point. You almost cheer her on when she uses the Force and attacks him like a pro.
While you're briefly glad she's rejected him- he's yours after all- deep down you know this will only serve to make him more obsessed with her. You could scream.
You actually do scream when the planet starts to disintegrate. However, you're clever and all about survival, so you heft Kylo Ren's arm over your shoulder and make it to his Command Shuttle with little time to spare.
A pursed lipped General Hux meets you on the docking ramp. He helps you pull Ren in the rest of the way, where you both drop him on the floor unceremoniously.
The shuttle takes off and you all barely escape the giant ball of incandescent gas. That was close.
You fall on your knees next to Kylo Ren. His face will likely scar. However, you think it will only serve to make him more ruggedly handsome.
The other bridge officer apparently agrees with you, as she is staring at Ren adoringly, even as she hands you the med kit.
You sneer at her.
She sneers back, but steps to the side, as she should. You outrank her, after all.
General Hux sneers at everyone.
You ignore General Hux and focus on Kylo Ren. He opens his eyes and looks at you. You can practically feel the Force at work here. You're good looking. You're intelligent. You're Force sensitive. You need a teacher too. You'll go Dark Sided for this man, be a Knight of Ren, whatever he asks. You'll even play coy like that girl, if you have to. Whatever it takes. You give him a soft smile.
"So," General Hux's snide voice interjects into your moment. "You're still alive."
Kylo Ren looks past you at General Hux and gives a half-hearted sneer of his own. "Yes. But you saved me."
No, you saved Kylo Ren. General Hux did nothing more than stand around and act insufferable, as per usual. However, you quickly rally. All superior officers take the credit for the work of their subordinates in the First Order. You're used to it.
"Only because Supreme Leader Snoke told me to," the red head reassures him.
"You could have lied," Ren says in a raspy voice.
General Hux flicks imaginary lent off of his uniform. "I thought about it. But then, who would I have to constantly feel superior to?"
Now you're getting a terrible feeling. As if an idea has just dawned on you, you look from Kylo Ren to General Hux and back again. You stifle a gasp. In your distress you turn and look at the other woman on the bridge.
She looks back to you with that same look of devastation you're likely sporting at the moment. She nods at you grimly.
You grind your teeth in despair. Ren's plea to that girl was truly just trying to sway her to the Dark Side, wasn't it? It makes you feel good for a moment, because you know you're irresistible and have everything on that girl, but this is worse, really. You can't win in this if Kylo Ren is a homosexual. Your hopes are dashed. Your life is meaningless, et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseum. This is terrible.
Then, despite yourself, you entertain an idea. You shouldn't, you know this. You've been trained to squash all ideas via listening to boring speeches. However, the traitorous thought has been entertained and there is no going back. You had sliced into another one of Kylo Ren's interrogations earlier, hadn't you? That Resistance pilot. Poe Dameron. That incredibly good-looking pilot. The one you had secretly hoped Kylo Ren actually looked like before he took off his mask that one time.
You sneak a glance back to the other woman. Wait a minute! You recognize her. She had been looking over your shoulder at some point as you had sliced into that system. The two of you have often chatted about your love of Kylo Ren over caf, in fact.
She looks back at you like she knows what you're thinking and her eyes alight with new purpose.
To be sure, you mouth the word, 'Resistance?' to her.
She nods back.
Forget the Knights of Ren. Perhaps you'll go help that girl find Luke Skywalker and you'll become a Jedi Knight. You snort before you can stop yourself. Yeah, right.
Kylo Ren looks at you strangely. General Hux is looking at you smugly, because that man has known all along and said nothing.
No, seriously though. Now that you're thinking about it, the best pilot in the Resistance needs a competent groupie. The Resistance trash obviously hasn't been up to the task as that man is still single, or last you heard anyway. Not that you have kept up by slicing into the Resistance network or anything. Not at all. That would be ridiculous. It's just that good defectors are always in demand and you've got all the right qualifications. It might as well be you. You're the one for the job. Viva la New Republic and all that.
"Lieutenant," General Hux's voice suddenly sounds from behind you. "I've thought over that interrogation training you suggested. I think it might be an excellent idea."
You look back down at Kylo Ren and he is looking at you in a disturbing way. This doesn't bode well.
Plus, General Hux sounded way too amused there. He can be a real bastard like that, can't he? Things just don't seem to be going your way at all today. Look on the bright side; you are going to get exactly what you asked for earlier. Not all commanding officers listen to their subordinates like General Hux does. But, hey, you're special, remember? You'll make it through just fine. Just. Fine. Anyway, may the Force be with you, Lieutenant. It's certainly looking like you'll need it.