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I Fear of Lovers Lost

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Jungkook jolts up from his dream, arms flinging out hysterically as frenzied hands clutch onto thin air in search of security.  His body shivering in fright as cold sweat streams down his spine and temple. His dark luminous locks disheveled and to some extent, even the tips of his hair was considerably drenched with sweat. The sheets that were covering him were tossed aside from his constant thrashing while trapped in a deep, foreboding nightmare. A nightmare where he would rather die than to have as a reality. Tears were threatening to fall from the corner of his eyes as he continuously blinked himself awake. Jungkook wanted to clear his mind of the dream, but scenarios kept replaying before him every chance it got. Little gasps of air desperately panted through quivering lips, little words of comfort skimming by. Jungkook was overwhelmed with waves of emotions, he couldn’t handle this...this..feeling of spine-chilling horror.


“It was just a dream. It was just a dream.” Jungkook repeats to himself. Attempting to unravel his shriveling nerves. He couldn’t handle the tightness remorselessly strangling him from the inside out. The feeling of desperation, despair, agony struck him in massive waves, leaving him in a state of anguish. Jungkook wanted to grip onto his heart and scream at it to calm down -- to stop clenching out of cold blood -- to stop the everlasting loom of heartache.


No matter what he said to himself, tears continued to gather in his eyes, and his breathing became rigorous. His left hand grabs his heart as the other steadied himself. His chest rising and falling, unable to calm the boundless wires of calamity that strangled his heart, his body violently shook in massive waves. Releasing what used to be threatening tears were now salty streams, intermixing with his fear ridden sweat.


Quickly ripping whatever was left of the blanket on him, off to the sideline of his bed -- his legs raggedly swinging off one after the other, feet making contact with the chilled wooden floors. Jungkook silently continues to sob as he removes himself from his bed, leaving the sweat damped mattress. Walking out of his shared room, he absent-mindedly shifts one foot after the other down a familiar hallway, only to stop in front of a shut door. His hand hesitantly grabs onto the doorknob, twisting it to allow Jungkook access to enter the dark room. He walks to the side of a far too familiar bed of a far too familiar figure.


In haste, he grabs one corner of the sheets, lifting it slightly as he forces himself into the bed that belonged to a sleeping figure. The sleeping figure who affected him without any knowledge of how influential he was --  the sleeping figure who haunted his dreams with his caring stares and constant affection of loving decree. Jungkook curls an arm around Jimins waist, pulling him in as he snuggles his face into the smaller male's neck. Drying tears smudging against the warmed skin.


The smaller male whimpering awake from the intrusion, especially at such an ungodly hours. Jimin’s eyes were half way opened as he eyed the younger with annoyance before he took noticed of Jungkook’s heavily rugged breathing huffing on his neck, that was what he had assumed was smothered by the youngers tears.


“Jungkookie?” Jimin questions hoarsely, voice rough from slumber. Jimin’s eyes soften into unease as the younger clung onto him, his body slightly humid.


“What’s wrong?” he questions as he becomes more worried of the Maknae.


Jungkook only whimpers and squirms in response. Digging his face deeper into Jimin’s neck, nose caressing the lower region of his neck and tightening his clutch on the older as if he were terrified of losing Jimin. Without any second thoughts, instead of interrogating the younger, Jimin wraps his arms around wherever he could as he cradles his lover.


“Ssshhh….ssshhhh, it’s okay Kookie. I’m right here. I’m right here.” He says in a low voice -- placing a chapped kiss on his head.


“I’m right here,” he whispered, tightening his embrace.


They stay in one each other’s arms -- Jungkook listening to Jimin’s calm breathing that unwinding his aching heart and mind, while his lovers small hands stroked his hair in soft soothing motions.


After calming down for a bit, Jungkook hoists himself up to the point where he didn’t have to look up at his petite beloved.


Reddened eyes making contact with worried jewels, the couple shares an inexplicable moment. Jungkook tried, and honestly it was hard, to display how much he loved the older, how much he meant to him. Because without him, he didn’t know what would happen. He didn’t know how he would function without Jimin by his side. His heart ached with despair as he thought of his nightmare -- of losing Jimin forever, never to see him by his side ever again. He wouldn’t know how to love again. Jimin was his world, his love, his life, his everything. Jimin, a smiling, bumbling fool, with full, rounded cheeks that caused his eyes to shine bright as they shaped into crescent moon shaped smiles. He loved this man. He doesn’t know when...he doesn’t know how...but he knew that his love for this man, his lover...Jimin...Park Jimin, was far beyond what he had thought it’d be before entering this relationship. That dream that forced him into acknowledging and realising how much more he had felt.

In a hoarse, broken voice, “Please don’t ever leave me,” he says, thumb caressing Jimin’s face, “I love you so much,” his voice beginning to waver and crack; eyes watering up again, “Please...don’t ever...don’t ever leave me.” His other hand goes down to hold and fondly massages Jimin’s small hands in his ample hands.


Jimin looks at Jungkook longingly, fearful that he might break his already broken down boyfriend, distressed by the sight of how defeated Jungkook appeared, and without speaking a single word, he raises himself up to Jungkooks level to lay a gentle kiss on his tear stained lips, then to his cheeks, peppering his face with little pecks. From his eyes, nose, lips; from his forehead, cheeks, chin, jawline and neck.


“I don’t know what happened,” he says as he leaves a lingering kiss on his lips, “but I want you to know,” he places another enduring kiss -- dark eyes making contact with Jungkook’s, “that no matter what, I’ll always, always stay by your side.” Leaving a lasting kiss, engulfed with passion and sincerity.


“I love you Jeon JungKook.”

“I love you Park Jimin.”