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The Basics

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“Iruka Umino, what are you doing?” An ANBU with purple hair asked as the man in question pulled out a paint brush and ink from a bag and started to paint seals on a door.

“I’m pranking Hatake.” Iruka responded without stopping what he was doing. The ANBU paused at that.


“I’m pranking Kakashi Hatake.” Iruka repeated. “More specifically, I’m going to paint-bomb his apartment.”

“….why?” The ANBU was clearly having trouble figuring out why she was dealing with Iruka’s temporary, he swore!, return to his hellion days than an assassination attempt.

“Because he pissed me off.” The long answer was that Kakashi had turned in one too many shoddy reports, had provoked him into arguments, and had generally been an insufferable ass for the last month.

“I see.” It really didn’t sound like she did. “You’ll never get into his apartment.”

“I doubt that. How much do you know about sealing?” Iruka carefully placed several symbols above the door handle.


“And I’m going to guess you’re familiar with Hatake’s ridiculous loathing for the hospital.”

She made an affirmative noise. It wasn’t a secret. Anyone who had consistently dealt with Kakashi or knew the medic-nins were aware of it. Unless he was dying, Hatake would rather recover in his apartment then spend an extra second in the hospital.

“I’ve heard a lot of stories about him fleeing there with broken bones, chakra exhausted, dangerously low levels of blood.” Iruka made flapping motion with his hand. “There are also a couple of him nearly dying because he went back to his home when he shouldn’t have. Somebody had to drag him to Tsunade on a couple occasions so that he would make it.”

The ANBU nodded. This was also common knowledge.

“Which tells me everything I need to know about his security system.”

She cocked her head to the side. “How so?”

“Well, if Hatake is use to coming back to his home in bad shape then he has to have a system of traps that he can easily disable. Something that doesn’t require working arms, vision, a lot of chakra, or him being able to move quickly. That means he has a chakra-lock system. A set of seals that can disarm his traps via a little chakra placed into the right spot on the front door.”

“Why not the window?” She asked. It was Kakashi’s preferred method of entry after all.

“We’re five stories up. I may not know what missions Hatake takes but I know he can’t assume that he will be in good enough shape to walk up past all the traps that the other shinobi in the building have placed on their windows.”

“I still do not see how this will allow you get access his home.”

“Because Hatake placed a bypass on his security seals.”

“How can you be so sure?” Her knowledge of seals was, admittedly, limited but this theory seemed to be a stretch.

“There are two ways for multiple people to use a chakra lock. The first is to set up an incredibly complex series of seals that have to have everyone placed their chakra into the lock while it is being created. Hatake doesn’t have the space for it. Even if he chucked out all of his furniture and painted in every single corner, he’d still be a good twenty feet short.” Iruka bent down and re-dipped his brush in ink.

“And the second way?”

“After a single-person seal has been created you can add a bypass into it so that someone else can open it. It’s tricky, but doesn’t take up as much space as the other option. Most people don’t do this because seals have a tendency of, well,” he scratched the side of his face. “exploding when you try to adjust them.”

The ANBU got the impression that Iruka knew this from experience.

“Anyway, Hatake is smart and trained in seals so he doesn’t have to worry about destroying his apartment. There we are!” The seals that Iruka had been painting activated and showed the seals that had been hidden on the other side of the door. The ANBU recognized Iruka's seal as the one that administration used to check messages for traps. She had been taught it during her brief stint as an Intel goffer.

Iruka's face broke out into a big grin. He tapped a tri-part symbol in the center of the door. She could see that only two out of the three circles on it were filled. “This is perfect. He already has a slot for someone else. I just have to key my chakra to it.”

“And where are you going to get Kakashi’s chakra to allow you to do that?” The question was asked mildly, but there was steel hidden behind her tone. Personal chakra did not exist outside the body for long. There were few ways you could get it that didn’t require a knife.

“And that is where things tricky.” Iruka didn’t seemed bothered by his predicament. In fact, he looked happy at being able to show her exactly how he was going to out smart Kakashi Hatake. He reached into his bag and pulled out a set of exploding tags then a set of chakra paper. “Have you ever made exploding tags before?”


“Okay,” The ANBU wondered if Iruka was even aware he was teaching her or if he was always this eager to explain things. “Besides the ink and paper you need to to place your chakra into it. That is how it ignites. Your chakra interacts with the chakra that the seal master imbued in it, it traces the ink, and then ignites when both chakras mix enough. Hatake made these tags. We had a mission together two months ago.”

“Yes, the disaster involving the Daimyo’s third son.”

Iruka blushed at that. The whole mission was supposed to give Kakashi a breather while giving Iruka a chance to get out of the village since the Academy was on break. It had gone down hill before they had even manage to make it past Konoha's gates.

“Well, um, these have Hatake’s chakra in them.” Iruka barreled on. “And the the chakra paper is going to draw it out.”

She watched him return to the seal layered on the door. He traced the points out from the tri-seal. She watched his finger move across the lines for over an hour before he seemed to figure out what he was looking for. The exploding tags were then sandwich in-between the chakra paper and then quickly placed at various sections of door. The ANBU saw him push the tiniest amount of his chakra into first piece of paper, which did something to the tags and set off the second piece of paper and the seal on the door. Iruka quickly pushed his chakra into the empty slot.

The whole seal glowed blue before settling back to black.

Iruka gathered the pieces of paper off of the door, snatched his bag off of the ground, and turned to the ANBU. He was flushed, this time with success.

“Would you like to come in?”

She nodded, thankful her mask hid her surprise. Iruka turned the door handle and paused before actually entering the room. His hesitation when he took the first few steps told the ANBU that he wasn’t as sure that his plan was going to work as he pretend it would.

Once the rooms had been surveyed, Iruka placed a few of Kakashi’s personal items into his food cupboards. He then went on to rigging a series of packets filled with paint around the apartment.

“How do you know sealing?” The ANBU asked as she closed the door. The training was not something most ninja knew. It took too much effort to memorize all that you needed to even make a simple exploding tag and the prep necessary made it pointless to try and implement it in battle. Unless your sensei specialized in it, it wasn’t something that you picked up.

“I was taught some when I was given my first class. I liked it so I tried to expand my skills in my free time.”

“Ah.” His first class would have been the one with the jinchuriki. Of course, the Hokage would make sure that his teacher was prepared to subdue him if the child got out of control. “Why stay at the Academy? I’m sure the infiltration division would appreciate your skills.”

“I like teaching.” He countered. “Training the next generation of Konoha shinobi is my calling. Besides, this took,” He glanced at a clock and grimaced. “Six hours to do. I need too much time to make this useful in the field. You caught before I was even a third of the way through.”

“You weren’t really trying to hide.” She pointed out.

“You don’t hide from ANBU for pranks. You get them on board.”

She was about to protest that she wasn’t onboard with this except she realized she had no intention of stopping him or undoing his work once he was gone. She also wanted to see if Kakash-taicho would fall for this prank. Either way he had a point.

“I’m all done.” He said after double checking everything was in the correct place. He shuffled both of them out of the apartment and redid the warding. There was a grin on his face and a bounce in his step. Iruka couldn't wait to see Kakashi when he came back from his latest mission. “Have a good night ANBU-san.”

She watched him walk off and started to tail him. He didn’t do anything suspicious. He went home, showered and drank coffee after realizing sleep was pointless considering it was dawn, and then went off to the Academy to teach. She watched through his first class before going to Ibiki to report what had happened.

His only comment was that he wasn’t surprised.

“Should I tell Kakashi-taicho?” She asked him.

“No, a mystery will keep him from running off on the next A-Rank he can get.” She repressed the urge to fidget. Her former captain wasn’t exactly taking the break up of his Genin team well. “And Iruka-sensei deserves to have his fun. Go home, Yugao.”

The dismissal was a relief especially since Ibiki didn’t want her to write a report on how a school teacher manage to get past the security of one of Konoha’s most feared ninja with ink, a brush, a set of exploding tags, and some chakra paper.

There was some paper work that you just never wanted to file.