Giggling, Daesung flopped down on the bed and then let out a great groan as Seungri flopped down on top of him.
"Aish, get off get off," he complained, louder than usual because of the adrenaline still coursing through his veins. "You've been working out too much Seungri-ah, your muscles are making you heavy."
"No thanks," sighed Seungri, "I'm comfy hyung, I'm not moving."
"Brat." Daesung said darkly, and reached one hand out to tickle the foot placed conveniently within reach. This sped the process up considerably and sure enough, within seconds, the weight on his back lifted as Seungri rolled off him to lay face to face. Their eyes met across the covers and they smiled lazily together in silence for a few minutes. Outside their hotel, the sea filled the night air with white noise and a tinny radio played somewhere. Daesung was lulled into a doze as he half-listened to the unfamiliar melody over the ringing still left in his ears from the club, the mattress beneath him soft and a breeze drifting from the window.
"Wake up hyung," came Seungri's voice, pulling him to consciousness once more. "Come on, you gotta get changed and take your pills before you can sleep."
Stubbornly, Daesung kept his eyes closed for a moment more before reacting. When he did, he decidedly ignored the pill and water Seungri had so kindly prepared for him and went for a shower to rid himself of the sweat now cooling on his skin and to clean his teeth. However, when he got back after spending as much time as he could justify on his skincare ritual, the pill still sat unobtrusively on the bedside table. Seungri, having used the bathroom before him, was curled up on his side of the bed with his eyes half shut, but he sat up as Daesung walked slowly over.
"Just take your medicine hyung, then I'll turn the lights out and we can sleep," He offered. "Last one of the day. You need to be up in five hours to go to the airport anyway" As Daesung sat heavily on his side of the bed, he felt the mattress shift and Seungri settled against his side, holding the glass of water for him. Numbly, he tried not to think about what he was doing as he flicked the pill into his mouth and gulped down a mouthful of water. Soon, the drugs in his system would inhibit the re-uptake of neurotransmitters in his brain and he would be fi-
Seungri pressed a kiss on his cheek. "I'll get the light, lie down hyung."
By the time he had pulled off his towel and got under the sheets, Seungri was back and lying down facing him once more. As his eyes adjusted to the ambient light from the moon outside, Seungri's white blonde hair and usually golden skin came into sharp focus, desaturated by the grey moonlight. Makeup-less and still damp from the shower, he looked normal and young and beautiful.
"Have you spoken to Seunghyun-hyung today?" Seungri asked, and Daesung hummed an affirmative by way of reply. "How is he? Have you got plans to see him when you get back?"
"Yeah, Sunday we're going for dinner. It's gunna be nice." Daesung's words slurred together as he spoke, more from sleepy laziness than anything else. "Sad I'm not gunna be here with you any longer though, its lovely here."
"So soppy, I love you too hyung!"
"Why do I even try?" He asked with fake exasperation and was rewarded with a snigger. "But really, thank you for inviting me. It means a lot."
Seungri's smile softened and he scooted closer. By habit, Daesung opened his arms and Seungri settled his head on his shoulder the way they used to when they were young. "It's really my pleasure hyung, I'd been wanting to go on holiday with you all year." Wordlessly Daesung stroked his shoulder with one thumb for a few minutes. Outside, someone switched off the radio.
"I think our gracious leader was expecting an invite when he gave you these tickets though." He mused, and he didn't need to look at Seungri's face to know he was smiling brighter at the mention of Jiyong.
"Nah, he knew I would bring you. He knows me too well for that, if he wanted to come he would have just bought himself the tickets and dragged me along."
"True," and had he been talking to anyone else he wouldn't have had the guts to ask any more. But this was Seungri. "You two have something pretty special, huh?"
Seungri surprised him by speaking in the smallest voice Daesung had ever heard him use. "I just don't know."
His heart ached with empathy and he had the urge to pull him closer and protect him from the sadness evident in his voice. As it was, he put a hand on the Seungri's nape as he spoke. "Don't be sad, Seungri-ah. Jiyong-hyung will work it out soon. I think this has all just taken him by surprise, so soon after Kiko, but he'll write you a song soon and you'll know where you stand," He didn't really know if what he was saying was true, but he wanted Seungri to feel better and hearing this might help. "But you know whatever he says that he will say he loves you right? Because he does. As friends, lovers, something in between, you know he does. Lack of love has never been Jiyong-ssi's problem."
A noise halfway between a laugh and a sob escaped Seungri and the arm slung across Daesung's chest contracted for a second before Seungri's hands came to rest on the side of his face.
"Neither has it been yours, hyung," he said, expression intense. "So you need to talk to Seunghyun. You know he carries a torch for you, its a few miles tall at this point."
"Yeesh, Seungri, I thought you weren't drinking? It's just fanservice, we're just friends really. You know how it is"
"Oh yeah, just fanservice. Because Seunghyun has always been so brilliant at the separation of his characters from his own personality." Seungri's voice was knowing and just a little bit amused. "He's never pretended anything Daesung, you know he's a method actor."
Weeks of watching Myunghoon and Seunghyun converge into one, and then months of watching Seunghyun try to pull them apart again with alcohol and solitude flashed through Daesung's mind. The arrogant Seunghyun that emerged during GD&TOP promotions presented himself, then the bingu personality developed for the Japanese stage, then the depressed recluse that resulted from months of singing that he was a loser.
"Please let's not talk about it now," he whispered, screwing his eyes shut. "I'll sort it out when I get home, I promise, its just... You know, it's just complicated. And it's Seunghyun-hyung, this is different. I'm not... It's... I don't know."
His eyes flicked open in surprise as he felt a press of lips against his own, and the image he saw was Seungri looking back at him with such fond sympathy. From anyone else, sympathy felt patronising, but when it was Seungri, Daesung just felt understood. He let out all the air he had been holding in a second ago, and let his limbs relax, one arm still around Seungri's shoulders and the other still on his nape. Slowly, Seungri lent forwards once again and kissed him, lingering this time. His lips were gentle and the hands on Daesung's face moved so Seungri could prop himself up on one elbow, changing their angle but not deepening the kiss much.
Kissing Seungri felt a lot like talking to him; not the on-camera him who was always a bit cleverer and a lot funnier than whoever he spoke to, but the private him who was kind and supportive, and had no sharp edges. When that Seungri spoke, Daesung always knew he was accepted and supported, even when he wasn't understood. It was so different to kissing Seunghyun, which had been overwhelming and desperate and promising so many things that they never followed up on.
Seungri let out a breathy sigh as Daesung quietly coaxed his mouth open, revelling in the softness of his lips and the lazy pace. They exchanged a few open mouthed kisses before Daesung sat up slightly, leaning back against the headboard and pulling Seungri onto his lap where their lips reconnected and he felt Seungri run the tip of his tongue along his lips; he reciprocated, their techniques both becoming more sloppy and playful as their tongues become more involved. Seungri's mouth tasted of his toothpaste and bit by bit, Daesung forgot the taste of norpramin.
They kissed quietly for a few minutes before Seungri stifled a yawn. Daesung giggled before catching it himself, and Seungri fell backwards into the pillows on his own side of the bed with a tired grin. Daesung stretched and shifted down so he was back to lying on his side and holding Seungri's gaze.
"I love you Daesung." Seungri said simply. The warmth that had blossomed in his chest a few minutes ago felt like it had expanded to double the size. He reached out and took Seungri's hand.
"I love you too, our Seungri." He replied genuinely, letting sleep start to take its hold on him. "And don't think I didn't notice you were changing the subject. I don't want you to let Jiyong make you unhappy."
Seungri let out a halfhearted laugh. "Don't tell me it wasn't a damn good distraction though." Daesung wasn't sure if he stayed awake long enough to voice his agreement, but for the first time in a long while he knew his last thought before sleep was one of grateful joy.