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Put a ring on it (I'll try)

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This is all Logan’s fault. Him and his stupid chick flick hero ways.

There were actual rose petals involved. ROSE PETALS. AT THE HOCKEY RINK.


So his girl went to visit her mom for a month that summer, after his first year with me in the Bruins. And he basically turned pre-verbal. It was all grunting, brooding and strenght conditioning 24/7. Lukov and I had to drag him out into the sunshine and out for beers and stuff. And, hey, I get it, Wellsy and I spend a lot of time apart. But Logan was just ridiculous.

And then, the minute she came back, he orchestrated a freaking romantic flashmob during training. He talked to the guys, and to Coach, and to the janitors and techs, and also blackmailed the rookies into dancing to their song and everything. And then he got Hannah to talk Grace into checking out our morning practice.

According to Wellsy, was the hardest job, because Grace had both jet-lag and zero interest in hockey. But Wellsy just had to get Grace to sit there until we started, and not do a whole Disney on Ice routine. Which we did.

There were rose petals, flashing lights, rookies shuffling around in the lamest choreography of all history, you get the drill. And then he went down on one knee and proposed to her.

That’s Logan for you. There used to be a running joke in the locker room about how pussy-whipped he is, but it all lost steam pretty fast, because he is 0% bothered by it. At this point, they call him Dr Love. Some of the guys have asked him for help when they've been in the doghouse and all.

Not me. I'm a excellent boyfriend, and Wellsy isn't one for romantic stuff.

Or so I thought.

As Grace ran down the rafts towards Logan, squealing and cackling like a woman possessed, I looked up at Hannah, ready to share a smirk with her. Like, can you believe these two?

Except Wellsy was beaming, all lit up and gorgeous and so fucking irresistible. And she looked at me and quirked her eyebrows like, well? Are we next?

And let’s be honest: I can’t resist a challenge from that girl.

Besides, I live to make her happy.





Halloween is important for us, okay? We’re not a lovey-dovey kind of couple, but we do some stuff. Like we don’t have a song, we have a TV show about a meth dealer. And we celebrate our anniversary on Halloween.

I figured, well, we have been together for our senior year and my two seasons in the Bruins. Three years is a good time to propose. And chicks find anniversaries romantic, right?

So I got the ring, and freaked out a bit.

I freaked out a lot.

But then I realized I wanted to be with Hannah for the rest of my life. We were already living together. And she would say yes when I asked. She was probably wondering when I would get with the program and pop the question.

So it was a pretty short-lived freak-out. Operation Engaged was on.

I was going to propose on Halloween.

Problem was, we had an away game on the 31st, and we weren’t flying back home til the morning after. So I decided to ask Logan for help. What, I’m not stupid. The guy can woo.

Unfortunately, he can’t check the weather.

And so, in the midst of driving from Montréal to Boston for a surprise proposal and excellent proposal sex, I ran into a snowstorm.

I kid you not. I had to stop at a roadside motel, the rattiest place I've ever slept in (while not drunk off my ass).

At least Wellsy wasn’t expecting me. She texted me same as usual, and I decided not to mention I was stuck near the Canada border instead of in my hotel room with a snoring roommate.

Congrats on those 2 goals! too bad you didn’t manage an anniversary hat trick :(

yeah yeah woman, I score twice and it’s not enough?

nope. will u be back tomorrow morning, or will the flight be delayd?

I got up from the weird-smelling bed and went towards the window. I  it was white as far as the eye could see.

looks like a delay.

oh nooo won’t see you til wednesday then!?

Shit, that was right. Wellsy was going to New York to see her agent and meet up with a music label. She had been steadily gaining experience and recognition in the couple years since we'd graduated, and even sold a couple of songs to up-and-coming indie bands. That summer she had even been on tour with Dex's group for a couple of months, and to a couple festivals. This, finally, seemed like her big break.

wednesday it is, wellsy.

OK, I can adapt. Time for sexting!

I snorted. My roommate's preternaturally early bedtime meant I typically called Hannah from fire escapes and staff stairs all over the east coast, so phone sex was out of the equation. We had tried sexting once or twice, but sitting in my shared bathroom and typing one-handed while jacking off, with no Wellsy, it's pretty hard. Pun intended. Sexting had turned into both a way for Wellsy to tease me and a contest to make the other laugh.

My phone buzzed again. It said:

I need your man monster in my lady cavern. NOW.

I  thought of the ring in my bag.

Yeah, I wanted to marry this girl.





“Why on Earth would you invite her?” Hannah said, in a furious whisper, and I huddled closer to her and the half-raw turkey she had just taken out of the oven.

Yeah, this dinner wass not going as expected, and I had totally forgotten to give her a heads-up about Cindy, my father's ex-girlfriend, being a last-minute addition.

“Well, I bumped into her and she said she had invested all her money into her new business and had no spare to fly home for Christmas. I thought you'd want me to invite her. And also, I was with Allie, you know how she is.”

Mistake. I was totally counting on her to understand the strength of Allie’s Disney eyes, but instead she rounded on me, even more pissed off.

“When the fuck were you with Allie?”

“Allie and Dean”, I amend. Lies. “Christmas shopping.” More lies.


To recap: Logan had mocked me endlessly about my blotched attempt at a romantic suprise-slash-Halloween proposal. I feel everyone would agree it was entirely his fault for not checking the weather, but okay. Somehow, Logan mocking me turned into all of our friends knowing and also mocking me, except for the girls and Tucker, who were like finally, dude and oh my gosh, can I see the ring?

That last one was Allie, not Tucker. So I showed her. And she said it was the worst ring ever and that Hannah would hate it.

I don't even know. I thought if it was a diamond ring and it was expensive and pretty it had to be right.

But apparently Hannah never wears rings, and she would hate having to wear a rock the size of a chicken nugget on her finger, what the hell, Garrett.

So, on top of a killer month playing hockey and training and flying from rink to rink, I had been hunting for the perfect ring with Allie, and the perfect restaurant with Tucker, and the perfect outfit with Dean, and the perfect speech with Logan... you get the drill.

So. Much. Work. 

The worst part, though, was that Hannah was getting more and more prickly as the month went on. She said that I was distracted, and not spending as much time with her, and she was right. I could only hope that it would be all worth it when I swept her off her feet with the best proposal EVER.

I had set my heart on Black Friday, because the Bruins play the matinee at home and I could do something romantic (by our standards) like actually score a hat trick in her honor, take her to dinner and propose, and then go back to out flat to set a new personal best at sex. That was the plan.

But at this point I would have proposed right there by the half-frozen turkey if it had meant Hannah would stop looking so troubled.

I couldn't, though. Logan had insisted that the one thing I shouldn't do was propose in public without knowing for sure that she would say yes. 

Also, there was the turkey.


"Christmas shopping. What."

Right, no-one said I can do subterfuge. Time to get her back on track: the disastrous Thanksgiving we were hosting.

“Come on, Wellsy, you like Cindy”, I wheedled, rubbing the back of her neck. “It’s not so bad. Everyone here is our friend. They are having fun. They won’t care if everything’s not perfect.”

Hannah’s eyes were sparkling angrily, but not in a good way. More like ‘I’m ten seconds from total meltdown’.

“Garrett. There’s ten people in my living room and I have no dinner to feed them, even after peeling potatoes for hours. I haven’t been able to shower or change yet, and I’ve barely seen you in the last week, but it turns out you’ve been, what, present-shopping with our friends?” By then she was hunched on herself and pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes.

I gathered her in, hooking my chin on the crown of her head.

“I miss you too, babe. I'm just a bit stressed, but you know I love you."

She sighed. “Was it my present, at least?”

I pressed closer, caging her against the counter. We picked it together. And we were hosting our first Thanksgiving in our home. It was a pretty great feeling. “Don’t you know it.”

She batted her hands at me, but she was looking better already.

"Okay, whatever, I love you too, please let me do something about dinner," she snarked.

“Tell you what”, I said. “I’ll get your mom and Tucker here. They can salvage this mess. I mean, even if there’s no turkey, there are gratin potatoes to feed two hockey teams.”

She turned her woeful green eyes towards the three oven-sized deep dishes. There was potatoes and cheese in therre, and they were all cooked, so I counted them as a triumph. A triumph that could feed the whole eastern conference.

I kissed Hannah to distract her, and because the sad eyes are super effective.

“And meanwhile, you can go and change, how does that sound?”

She sighed and I patted her (gorgeous) ass to get her going. She went, though she stopped at the door to glower at me.

“We’ll talk about the Allie thing later,” she said. "And about something else. It's... important."

I got Tuck and Hannah’s mom to the kitchen, and they saved the turkey by carving and stir-frying the whole thing. Everyone loved the potatoes, Allie's pies were a hit and we even run out of green beans. And Cindy and Grace's father flirted all night, it was super embarrassing.

It wasn't Hannah’s dreamed Thanksgiving, but it wasn't bad at all.

Until after they all finally went home, and Hannah told me the music label had decided against signing her, and promptly started to cry.

That was Not Good.

I would have to wait until Christmas. 



ATTEMPT 3: CHRISTMAS (right now and this very moment)




This has to work out. Everything is under control. It isn't exactly Christmas day, but it's close as we can get with my schedule and family time. We are both completely free for the day. We have woken up together, had sex, showered together, had sex, had breakfast in bed, napped together, and had sex.

So, technically, I've scored a hat trick. I have a good feeling about this.

Right. My hands are sweating, my heart might beat out of my chest, and I'm kinda queasy, but... I can do it. I doesn't get much better than this: the fireplace is roaring, I made hot chocolate without burning anything down, and Hannah is wearing a santa hat and little else. Her hair fans against the rug and she is looking at me like the cat who got the cream.

I'm keeping it simple this time: we’re going to open our presents, and one of those boxes underneath the tree? Yup, it’s an engagement ring. THE engagement ring.

I feel like could dance, I could giggle, I could even throw up.

I give Hannah her chocolate and sit beside her, drawing her in. Should I get her to open her presents first? Should the ring be the first or the last parcel? Is she looking at me like that because I'm being too weird?

But no. Nope. She opens her mouth, and what comes out is:

“Hey, so... I think we should marry”.

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

I'm caught so unawares that I go:

"The fuck?"

I know.

That's the worst answer I could give. I'll be drawn and quartered. I'll be sleeping in the guest room for months. I'll--wait.

Wellsy's eyes are crinkling, and then she snorts, and then she's laughing her head off.

"Oh my god, your face!" More laughter. "I just... what on Earth were you waiting for?"

I can't even be bothered to get angry. Did she guess? Did she find the ring at some point? Did Allie tell her?

Who cares. It’s all Logan’s fault. And Allie's fault. I could have said "We should marry" months ago and saved us all the drama.

But you know what, I’m marrying Wellsy, and I couldn’t care less.