“Loki Odinson of Asgard, for your acts of treason against the crown and against the nine realms, I banish you from Asgard and strip you of your title as prince and God of Mischief.”
It felt like all the air had left my lungs as the fear finally washed over me. On the outside I made sure to keep my composure, not willing to show those lesser than me my own vulnerability, but on the inside I was screaming and shaking with fear.
Thor looked outraged as he looked up at his father. “You cannot be serious, Father!”
Odin looked down upon his eldest son, his strong bright boy, “I am very serious, Thor.”
Thor looked to me but I only gave him a look of indifference before he looked back to his father, “Throw him in the dungeon! Lock him in his room! Forbid him from ever stepping foot into the library! But do not banish him!”
Frigga looked between me to her husband and rested a hand on his arm, “Please reconsider, love. There are other ways-“
“Silence!” Odin shouted as he stood up and looked between myself, Thor and his wife. “The decision has been made. You have one night, Loki Odinson, to gather your things and then you will be escorted to the Bifrost where you will be sent to your new home.”
“And wherever will that be,” I sneered at my adopted father, “Sir?”
Odin looked old as he tried to think of the best place to send me, his disappointment of a son.
Thor took a step forward, “Please, Father, if you are to truly banish Loki, let me choose his new home. He’s many enemies, I know where he can go where he will be protected but also receive penance for his crimes.”
“Yes, husband, let Thor send him some place. Please, we must protect our son-“
“He should have thought about that before he committed treason!” Odin shouted again, his frustration with all that was transpiring showing through his one blue eye.
“Father, please, I beg of you show mercy.”
Odin sighed and shook his head, “I shall think on it. For now, I am retreating to my office to think on the matter.”
Thor nodded and Frigga rose and watched as her husband quickly left the room without another word. She took the few steps down to where Thor and I stood looking at her. Ignoring Thor’s warnings, Frigga undid my bindings and pulled my into a warm embrace.
“Oh, my precious baby boy, I am so sorry.”
I stood there for a moment, momentarily shocked by the embrace and the words, before slowly wrapping my arms around my mother’s slim waist. Forgetting, or more like not caring, that others were around, I buried my face in the crook of Frigga’s neck and finally let the tears fall. “No, Mother, I am the one who is sorry.”
Frigga ran her fingers gently through my black hair, “Hush, my son, everything will be all right. Thor and I will do everything in our power to make sure you are safe and protected.”
Thor rested a gentle hand on my back reassuringly as he spoke, “Should Father allow me to choose where you are to be banished to, I know a place where you will be accepted.”
I groaned as I looked up at my oaf of a brother, “I don’t know which would be worse. Odin sending me most likely to Nifilheim. Or you sending me to Midgard.”
Thor gave a sad smile, not taking the bait. “The midgardians will watch over you well, Brother.”
I pulled away from my mother and gave her a small smile before turning to look at my brother, “I doubt that.”
Thor sighed and looked at Frigga, “I must go seek counsel with my fellow Avengers; I will be back before the morn.”
Frigga smiled and kissed her oldest son on the cheek, “Safe trip, my golden boy. Loki and I will wait in his bed chambers for your return.”
Thor nodded before striding out of the room, heading to the Bifrost.
Frigga looked at me and caressed my cheek in a way only a mother could that would show how much love she had for me, her adopted son. “Come, let us go to your chambers and get packed.”
I nodded and took my mother’s warm hand in my cold one.
Together, we walked out of the throne room and walked down the golden halls of the castle.
“So,” Frigga smiled and tried to hold a light conversation hoping to distract me from my thoughts, “wherever it is you settle, would you mind if your mother stopped by to visit once in awhile?”
I shrugged as I walked down the long wide corridors to my chambers. “Do as you wish, Mother, I cannot stop you either way.”
“Oh, come now, Loki, don’t be like that.”
“Be like what? After tonight I will have no home, no family, not even a title. Tell me, what shall I be, Mother.”
Frigga looked at me, tears coming to her eyes, “No matter if you live on Asgard, Midgard, or Nifilheim, I will always be your mother, Loki.”
I nodded but didn’t say another word. I was tired and just wanted to go lay down and never wake up.
The rest of the walk to my bed chambers was done in silence as we both took small relief in each other’s presence that was ultimately going to be the last time.
Once at the tall doors that would lead to my room, I stopped and looked at Frigga, “I wish to be alone.”
Frigga looked at me and recognized the expression on my face. “What are you thinking of doing, Loki?”
I shrugged, knowing my mother knew very well what was on my mind. “I’m thinking of going into my room and packing for my departure.” Only a half lie.
My mother sighed, “I know what you are thinking, Loki, and please, just wait until Thor comes back. If your father allows Thor to decide what shall be done with you everything will be alright. If he chooses not to let Thor decide, I will support you in any way you need me to.”
“You would go against your husband’s words for a monster such as myself?” I looked at the woman who raised me with shock written on my face.
She smiled and cupped my cheeks in her gentle, motherly hands, “You are not a monster, Loki. You were never a monster. You are my son. My sweet, dark, intelligent boy. Ever since the first time I held you in my arms, I knew you would amount to great things. Odin never should have tried to do anything else but love you.”
“Odin never loved me,” I looked away from Frigga, anger building up inside of me at the memories of Thor always be favored over myself.
Frigga smiled, “He does love you, Loki, and that scares him. He meant for you to be a way to unite two kingdoms, but like I, he fell in love with you. It’s because he loves you that he is banishing you. I begged him not to let you be locked away in the dungeons for the rest of eternity.”
“So instead you would rather have me cast aside like a weak infant yet again?” I felt the anger growing inside my black heart. Felt the hatred build and encompass the remaining pieces of my heart that it had yet to touch. After all the torture I went through after I-
No! I must not think of it! I could not! I was not going to let my mind torture me further with thoughts of the past. I was not a weakling!
“I am not abandoning you, Loki, I am merely finding another way to protect you.”
I scowled at the woman I had called my mother my whole life. “I do not need your protection! I am no longer the infant child you had brought in out of pity all those years ago. I can protect myself!”
I pushed open my chamber doors a stalked inside, not caring if Frigga followed or not. I had a time limit, and time was running out.