He watches as that smile, the one rarely unveiled in his presence, gradually unfolds. It’s an insidious little thing- beguiling and absolutely stomach-turning in his eyes at this precise moment because there’s nothing embedded within it but heated connotations and dark promises.
It’s loaded with sly manipulation and libidinous intent, directed at some tool who’s probably too obtuse to see right through it.
His knuckles bleed white as the nerves in his hand run rampant, his grip around the railing edging a little too close to painful. Sharp eyes trail over each movement- every brush of those lithe fingers against exposed biceps, raven orbs raking almost appreciatively over the male before him.
Jeongguk can hear the pulsating of his veins within his ears. His eyes burn with how intently he’s staring, narrowing with every coy smile and fluctuation in proximity. He watches obsessively as the other leans in, eyes glancing up through dark lashes in a coquettish manner.
He watches as the other, Shin Ho Seok, responds eagerly to his demeanor, lips quirking up indulgently at the corners.
It’s been five and a half minutes too long that the other’s lingered, wasting both of their time and partaking in a game he has no real grasp or understanding of.
Far too long that Jeongguk’s been standing from a distance, onyx orbs tracking every movement and emotion flitting across those alluring features. Observing an interaction far too flirtatious (intimate) for his liking.
Ire roils heavily from his core, setting his blood aflame.
It’s a dangerous game he’s playing indeed, he concludes almost senselessly as he watches Ho Seok finally retreat with one last promising glance and subtle nod from the other. Jeongguk’s just about lost all sensation in his palms, fists tightening inexorably as his vision sears the male now standing alone.
As though able to sense the heated gaze directed at him, the other male finally glances up, eyes immediately latching onto Jeongguk’s. An almost vindictive smirk makes it’s way faintly across his lips, obsidian orbs glinting with something malign, before he severs the contact and turns around, heading back towards the university corridors.
The fire in his veins continues to simmer, consuming him entirely from the inside-out.
Perhaps it’s time for Jeongguk to ante up.
The thing with them, Jeongguk thinks, is that they’re a disarrayed pair of time bombs, set to detonate at some point and blast the other into wasted matter.
And yet, there's nothing more enticing than tempting fate by hovering nearby, risking that chance and testing how long they can gravitate towards one another before they ignite and inevitably end up destroying one other.
It's a tragic but beautiful fate to succumb to.
3, 2, 1
Time's ticking away.
And it's merely a matter of time before they self-destruct and obliterate everything in sight.
It isn't hard locating Taehyung.
He'd never admit it, but Jeongguk knows the order of his classes like the back of his hand.
He has to.
There's no other way for Jeongguk to pinpoint exactly where he is when they’re both a little on edge and in need of a quick fix- a tryst in the back of the janitor’s closet or muffled groans between bathroom stalls.
Regardless of how vehemently the other opposes it, Jeongguk will always be aware of where Taehyung is situated. It’s ingrained into his consciousness, branded like hot iron against the strings of his awareness.
And right now, the older should just be finishing up with his Bioethics course, if the hustle and bustle of students beginning to exit in masses is any indication. But Jeongguk disregards the dissonance as it fades into white noise, mind focused solely on one individual in particular. His eyes soon hone in on chestnut hair and a defined jawline, and even from this distance, he can't help but to admit that Taehyung is painstakingly gorgeous.
It also isn’t too difficult maneuvering around the cluster of bodies, sidling right up to his desired target before enclosing his hand around that wrist firmly and tugging him away from the crowd. Taehyung looks up, surprise and weariness present within his features, but Jeongguk’s countenance is a careful construction of stoicism.
Taehyung deftly attempts to untangle his hand from the other’s hold, but that grip is relentless and he’s really not fond of making a scene so his acquiescence comes reluctantly.
He’s not sure what Jeongguk is up to (he may have an inkling), but Taehyung hopes for the other's sake that it’s worth his goddamn time because his patience with him- with this taxing, chaotic association- is running thin.
Jeongguk is anything but gracious when he ushers him into an empty classroom, locking the door from behind and turning on him, expression severe and dark eyes calculative.
Taehyung bites back a caustic remark.
How fucking cliché.
But his wrist is a little sore and he really doesn’t fucking appreciate being dragged around like that. He feels his temper flare but does his best to quell the unpleasant sensation.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” He grits out, rubbing his hand absentmindedly. “Are you stuck in the fucking ancient times where you think it’s acceptable to haul people around like a barbarian?”
Jeongguk remains unfazed, continuing to regard the other with icy indifference.
It rubs Taehyung the wrong way (and not in a manner that promises mutually satisfying results).
“You know what,” He sighs in exasperation, running a hand tiredly through his hair before side stepping the other. “I really don’t have time for your bullshit, Jeongguk. So you be an apathetic little bitch here on your own, I have other things to do.” He doesn’t tread further than a few feet before Jeongguk’s hand comes out to block his path, shoving him none too gracefully against the closest desk. He leans in imposingly then, caging Taehyung in between strong arms, features assuming a more threatening mien.
Taehyung will never admit that it causes a slight shiver to travel through his frame.
“What were you doing with that sack of shit, Taehyung?” He mutters sensually (menacingly) against his ear, and it has Taehyung feeling more than a little bothered, slender frame arching instinctively against that ripped one molded against his own. He loathes the way his body unwittingly reacts, so accustomed to those warm hands firmly encasing his hips and running meticulously (reverently) over his body. He hates how much he wants, despite every fibre of his being warning him against it.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He states flatly, unamused with the other's antics but hoping more than anything else that the tremor in his voice doesn’t give him away.
“Don’t fucking play with me like that, Tae.” He seethes, grabbing his arm roughly as he glares heatedly at him. “You know exactly what I’m fucking talking about.”
Taehyung hates that it rattles him a little on the inside- despite his adamant denial of it- because he’s never been able to fully separate desire from emotion, even going into this knowing that there was nothing that could have possibly manifested from… whatever this was.
Because they were a disaster. A cataclysmic collision waiting to happen. And they would eventually tear each other apart, until they were nothing but mere shadows of themselves, shambles left from the ruins of war.
Or, at least Taehyung would be shattered. Trying to cement pieces of himself that he had no hopes of reconciling again.
“You have no right to ask questions, let alone speak to me like that.” He mutters dangerously (resentfully). “We’re nothing to each other.”
And to be quite honest, Taehyung is terrified of waking up one day and discovering that the person he recognizes is no longer fully intact- that there is perhaps a part of him he left behind somewhere (maybe in between sullied sheets and guttural promises, or in the callous hands of someone who will likely never understand the value of what’s been entrusted to him).
Taehyung can’t risk that.
Because he suspects he’ll be the only one left standing in the ruins, grappling uselessly at a lifeline that's no longer available to him.
Jeongguk’s jaw ticks, his grip tightening briefly before he forces himself to relax, receding slightly and relinquishing his hold on the other’s arm. His eyes are glazed over with impassivity, and Taehyung vaguely wonders how easy it must be, to switch off his emotions so abruptly like that- to completely sheathe what he’s capable (or incapable) of feeling.
And perhaps that’s where they differ the most.
“Fine.” Jeongguk mutters tersely, deadly calm but with a tone that leaves no room for evasiveness. “What exactly are you playing at, then?”
Taehyung almost shakes his head in disbelief, astounded that the other is really so clueless that he can’t seem to pick up on why he’s doing what he is (why he feels the way he does).
He sometimes wishes he could disengage himself from his emotions the way Jeongguk seemingly does. Because maybe then it wouldn’t hurt quite like this.
But it’s not like Jeongguk is entirely to blame here. No, if he’s being honest, Taehyung is the real culprit. Too afraid to ever speak his mind, to let the other know what it is that he wants- he’s a coward, and there’s really no way around that.
It doesn’t make the thought easier to digest (doesn’t make the discomfort in his chest lessen).
But Taehyung’s always been rather adept at pretending (he’s not a theatre minor for nothing).
And it’s a lot easier to be angry than it is to be sad.
“Enough.” He snaps, feeling more than compelled to put an end to this little standoff. He’s irritated, but he’s also tired (so tired) and the only thing he wants is to forge distance between them- build a wall- so that he doesn’t have to think about what he may or may not be feeling. “I’m done having this conversation with you, and I need you to get out of the way so I can leave.”
Taehyung feels like he’s being stretched to his limit. His anger is starting to get the best of him, and he resents that, he truly does. Because he reverts to this embittered, spiteful person wherever Jeongguk is concerned and it's despicable- because he doesn’t want to believe that’s the kind of person he really is. It’s not.
But maybe they really do bring out the worst in each other.
Another reason why Taehyung feels justified in pulling away from this, whatever it may be.
“Not until you tell me exactly what you were doing with Shin Ho Seok. What you plan on doing with him.” He finishes rather venomously, irises flaring momentarily but Taehyung chooses to turn a blind eye.
Because they don’t know how to interact without tearing each other down, launching scathing remarks and cutting words and it’s the most horrible and unhealthy relationship to uphold. Not that he can really classify what they have as a relationship- not even close. More like their spontaneous rendezvous with no strings attached, leaving Taehyung, more often than not, with an acrid aftertaste on his tongue.
Yet Taehyung finds himself drawn in, time and time again. Because as much as he claims to resent the other and everything he stands for-
Jeongguk understands (can read) Taehyung’s body better than anyone else. Knows exactly where to press, prod, touch in order to have him writhing helplessly against the sheets, abandoned in the throes of passion.
But there’s a limit to how much he can take- how much energy he can allot to this hopeless agreement and Taehyung’s just about expended it. It’s time for him to grow up.
“It’s cute how you think that’s actually any of your business.” Taehyung retaliates, eyes guarded and feeling the walls re-establishing themselves as he does his best to evade that inflamed stare.
He’s smarter than this. He can separate himself from the poison in his life, and as much as it kills him to admit it, Jeon Jeongguk falls somewhere in that category and Taehyung can’t-
He can’t allow himself to fall into that.
Because he knows the only thing that will be left of him if he continues to delve deeper into this is a bruised heart and debilitating lacerations to his morale.
At least now, he still has somewhat of a grasp on who he is and what he stands for.
And that person is better off without Jeon Jeongguk than with him.
(So then why does it feel like his heart is threatening to tear apart at the seams, spilling over into a puddle of his own blood and affliction?)
“Taehyung,” Jeongguk growls threateningly, inching closer and completely disregarding any concept of personal space. But Taehyung’s a lot stronger than that, and he’ll be damned if he caves first. He glares back defiantly, unwilling to allow Jeongguk a glimpse of what he’s really feeling on the inside (how hard he’s trying to remain unaffected when it feels like he’s ready to crumble instead).
Because the weight of the situation is finally starting to sink in, and it leaves a heavy feeling in his chest.
The truth of the matter is, Jeon Jeongguk is never going change for Kim Taehyung. He’s never going to give up his philandering lifestyle, never going to acknowledge what they have (what they could have had). He’s never going to let Taehyung in, because he’s so preoccupied with the idea of maintaining walls around himself that it’s impossible to understand who he is on the inside.
And that’s the thing.
Taehyung has no idea who Jeongguk is. He may know his body- may be intimately familiar with the feeling of the other around, over, in him. But he doesn’t know the person behind that, at all. How could he, when Jeongguk’s never given him the chance?
Jeongguk is a master at keeping people at a distance, and it seems that he's most skilled at keeping Taehyung away, shutting him out whenever he edges a little too close for comfort. It feels useless, like he's chucking pebbles which only ricochet off his 9-inch steel armor. He doesn't know how to get in, how to reach out to Jeongguk- and he's starting to believe that the other will never bestow that opportunity upon him.
He may worship Taehyung’s body like a temple, like the sacred ground for deities to walk upon, but when that’s all up and done with, he’s back to his usual impersonal state.
And it’s getting harder for Taehyung to be okay with that.
Maybe he's the selfish one for wanting (needing) more, for no longer being content with what they have.
(To be quite honest, he's not sure he ever really was).
But Taehyung deserves to be loved- respected- he knows he does. He just doesn't think Jeongguk is the one that can give that to him anymore.
"Look," He sighs, feeling the aggravation slowly seep through his body. "Can we not do this right now?" He's exhausted. "I really need to get going, so please just leave me alone Jeongguk."
He should have known that Jeongguk was nothing if not persistent, however.
"No," he repeats gruffly, and Taehyung can't help but to think that the other really is a metaphorical thorn in his side. "Not until you tell me what you were doing with that asshole."
Taehyung feels the last thread of his patience snap.
"Fine." He sneers, sensing the irritation lurking somewhere beneath the surface of his conscious mind. "I have plans with Wonho tonight, and we're going to get dinner and have a goddamn fantastic time. And after that, we'll go back to his place where he'll proceed to fuck my brains out." Lies. "Is that what you wanted to hear?" He bites out, and it's almost gratifying how easily deceit coats his tongue, spilling out into hateful verses and bitter cadences.
He does indeed have plans with Ho Seok tonight, however he has no intentions whatsoever of putting out. But there's a small, vengeful part of him that wants to rile the other up- to have his words grate on his nerves, and he knows this piece of information will because Jeongguk merely views Taehyung as someone he can claim ownership over (but never as someone to share a part of himself with).
Taehyung's tired of always having the gun pointed directly at him, cocked and ready to hit where it hurts. Perhaps it's time that Jeongguk gets a taste of his own medicine.
Jeongguk crowds him into the desk menacingly, the ridge of it digging uncomfortably into the base of Taehyung's spine. He leans in, exhales fanning hotly over the crown of his mouth.
"Say that again." He whispers challengingly, eyes flickering with something baleful as he regards Taehyung with a heated expression. "Fucking say that to me again, Taehyung."
Taehyung's palms feel clammy, and he's weak- so weak.
Jeongguk swoops in, crushing his lips forcefully (brutally) against his own and Taehyung succumbs far too easily, fingers coming up to wrap, pull, tug harshly at raven strands.
It's pathetic. He's pathetic.
Jeongguk groans desirously into his mouth, tongue probing and so delectably skilled, swiping sensuously over the planes of his lips and Taehyung's knees tremble.
And this, he thinks, is how they fall into each other time and time again.
It's a ruthless cycle- ineluctable yet so detrimental, and Taehyung swears it's the last time, it is.
Jeongguk's hands slip stealthily beneath Taehyung's shirt, fingers splayed over his back and the press of cool fingertips against fervid skin making him shiver. He pushes harder into the kiss, running his tongue demurely along the roof of Jeongguk's mouth before biting down on his lower lip.
"Fuck," Jeongguk gnarls huskily against supple flesh, breaking their lip lock, much to Taehyung's chagrin. He barely refrains from emitting a whine. "Tell me this is okay, Tae," he urges desperately, resting his forehead far too intimately against the other's, lips brushing ever so slightly. "Fuck, baby, please tell me this is okay."
Taehyung's breath hitches.
No. Tell him no, this is your out. You don't have to do th-
"Yesyesyes" he whispers mindlessly against Jeongguk's mouth instead, body automatically inclined towards his, fingers coiling around the nape of his neck before pulling him down to reconnect their lips.
Taehyung forgets how hard it is to remain strong when Jeongguk is involved.
Jeongguk kisses like a man parched, mapping out every crevice of his mouth and it makes Taehyung’s mind hazy with pleasure. He responds fervently, however, allowing the other to press him harder against the desk as those eager hands settle firmly over his hips. He pulls Taehyung’s body flush against his own and the older groans hotly in response, feeling the fire in the pit of his belly stir.
Taehyung reaches down to curl a finger around the other's belt loop, ensuring that their lower bodies are molded closely together and the other growls at the sensation. He hides his smirk against the crest of Jeongguk’s lips, slipping his tongue inside and entangling it with the other’s.
“Fuck, Tae.” He manages through ragged pants, guiding his lips downwards to trace over the elder’s pulse point, laving heated skin devotedly with his tongue. Taehyung lets out a breathless whimper, eyes falling shut and head lolling to the side to grant the other further access. His pulse skyrockets. “I want to be inside you.”
The older gasps as he feels a nip at the space below his ear. He can feel himself hardening, member straining against the confines of denim and he knows the other is hard too, if the pressure against his thigh is any indication.
“Please, Jeongguk.” He pleads frenziedly, desperate (so desperate) to feel the other’s cock in him, reaching so deeply inside that he sees stars.
“Baby,” Jeongguk groans torturously, fingers tightening callously around slim hips. “Fuck.”
Taehyung hates himself in this moment. Hates that he wants this so much.
(Hates that he wants him so much).
But Jeongguk makes it so hard to let go, most especially since Taehyung knows exactly how good he can fuck him.
Still, Taehyung told himself this would be the last time. And he knows it will be, he’ll make sure of it. Because Jeongguk may love his body- may love unraveling him piece by piece and watching him slowly fall apart before his very eyes- but he doesn’t love Taehyung.
And Taehyung can’t keep lying to himself, clinging onto that last shred of hope that Jeongguk may one day cast down his shields and enable himself to feel something for him in return. Because when reality finally comes back to hit him in the face, it’ll be more than he can stomach. That, he knows.
So he’ll allow himself to savor this- the feeling of Jeongguk wrapped so closely around him- one last time. He’ll open himself up to the other in this final occasion, and sear this memory into the hind of his consciousness because come tomorrow-
It will all be a distant memory. The recollections of what they had (and what they never would) like particles of dust flowing past him seamlessly.
And it would hurt like hell. He’s sure of that, because Taehyung is only human and he doesn’t know how to prevent himself from feeling- from despairing over what they would never have the chance to cultivate (what he secretly wished-prayed- they could have had all along). But it’s like a bandaid, he tells himself, and the quicker he can tear himself away from this nocuous association, the less it’ll hurt in the long run.
At least, that’s what he tells himself.
He finds strength, from where he’s not entirely sure, to shove Jeongguk away from him and into the seat of the nearest chair. The other is momentarily taken aback by the force of his actions, eyeing him with mild disgruntlement at being separated from his desired target but Taehyung makes quick work of their distance, unbuttoning his jeans skillfully before approaching the younger and swinging a leg over, straddling those strong thighs intimately.
He immediately presses himself closer and Jeongguk wastes no time twining his fingers in soft, brown tresses before hauling him forward into a bruising kiss. Taehyung moans softly at the force with which the younger grips his hair, tugging fiercely to bring his mouth as close as possible, ravishing his lips and leaving him punch-drunk from the high.
He feels the outline of Jeongguk’s member against his and nearly keens from the sensation. He trails his fingers licentiously down the planes of a clothed chest, pausing at the ridges of solid muscle he feels beneath his fingertips. He slips his fingers underneath and traces them teasingly over that hard abdomen, reveling in the way it draws a guttural sound from that unyielding mouth. Taehyung tries not to preen.
He’s feeling impatient however, so it doesn’t take long before his fingers continue their trek along the other's body, stopping just above his belt. Taehyung brings a hand up, spitting into the concave of his palm and coating it generously with saliva before slipping it effortlessly into tight denim and wrapping his fingers deliberately around that hardness. Jeongguk jolts, groaning loudly against his mouth and Taehyung swallows the noises complaisantly.
“Fuck,” he curses, digging his fingers harshly into the contours of Tae’s hips. "You have no idea what you do to me, Tae."
Taehyung grins against Jeongguk's mouth, tracing his tongue lightly over his upper lip before he begins to move his hand steadily up the length of his member, twisting his palm with careful precision. Jeongguk responds positively, grunting into the kiss and subconsciously tightening his grip on the other, tugging at cafe strands desperately with his other hand.
Taehyung's fingers are heaven-sent, Jeongguk thinks, losing himself to the sensation of those dexterous hands pumping him unhurriedly, sending him to his own realm of utopia.
"Shit." He swears as he feels Taehyung pick up his pace, flicking that wrist more fervently and swiping his thumb over the slit of his dick repeatedly. His hips lurch forward, chasing the feel of those fingertips running sensually over him. Jeongguk is so hard and he knows if the other keeps it up he's going to end up blowing his load, and he has no intentions of doing that until he's balls deep inside him. He pushes gently at the other's chest, indicating for him to stop and Taehyung complies albeit somewhat reluctantly, a small frown making its presence on his face. He slips his hand from Jeongguk's pants, trying not to appear too dismayed.
He was just getting started.
"Fuck, baby," he rasps breathlessly, hardening at the sight of the elder looking so disheveled and discomfited above him. "Come here."
Taehyung is pulled down into a searing kiss, the other ravaging his mouth like he knows nothing else and fuck, is it going to be difficult letting go of this.
Jeongguk kisses like he aims to conquer, seizing control of his rationale and invading every last remnant of his sanity, and Taehyung honestly doesn't know where else he's going to find someone who wrecks him as thoroughly as Jeongguk does.
He has a feeling he'll spend the rest of his life searching for someone who wants (craves) him as much as Jeongguk once did, attempting to fill that gap the other created and secretly knowing he probably never will.
Taehyung tries to ignore the slight burn forming in the edges of his corneas, returning the kiss zealously instead, desperate to take his mind off the impending loss and focusing on this- on them- right now.
It's the only thing still keeping him together.
"Jeongguk," He whimpers lustfully against the other's ear, distracting himself from the culminating ache in his chest. "I need you, please." His voice nearly cracks at the end, but he catches himself just in time.
No, he won't do this. He can't.
Because once he allows himself to cave into the depths of his own despair, there will be no coming back and he refuses to let the other see him like that.
Not when Jeongguk will undoubtedly have a pretty, new thing hanging off his arm by the end of the week. It's the norm now, why would it be any different when he's gone?
Because this is what they do.
They aim where the other is most vulnerable, targeting each other's insecurities and seeking to undermine until there's nothing but a catastrophe remaining from their own belligerence.
Because Taehyung is the only one who can draw out the worst qualities from the other, and Jeongguk always knows where to hit below the belt.
They're toxic. Yet, they find their way back to each other again and again.
It has to stop.
"God," Jeongguk growls, spreading his palms possessively over the curves of the other's ass. "Yes, fuck yes. Anything you want, baby."
Taehyung's fingers instantly find their way to the front of Jeongguk's jeans, popping open the button expertly and pulling his zipper down. He whines softly when the other merely stares up at him, a wicked curl to his lips as he witnesses Taehyung's mounting distress. He soon takes pity upon the other, however, fueled by his own eagerness as he lifts his hips and yanks at his jeans impatiently, pulling his undergarments down with it.
Jeongguk exhales in relief when his cock finally springs free from the constraints of his pants, and Taehyung’s mouth nearly waters at the sight.
He wants Jeongguk’s cock in his mouth so bad, wants the taste of him all over his tongue. He wants to wrap his lips around him and swallow him down until he feels the other at the rear of his throat, wrecked and completely at his mercy, but he’s also far too impatient for that right now and quite frankly, the desire to feel Jeongguk seated deeply inside him currently outweighs his desire to suck him off.
So Taehyung begins peeling off his own jeans instead as he elevates his lower body ever so slightly, hips swaying rather enticingly as he shimmies out of snug clothing. Jeongguk watches the scene unfold with rapt attention, eyes glued to Taehyung’s every move and heart thudding voraciously against his ribcage.
He finds he can never take his eyes off the other, most especially when he’s like this. Actions plagued with an unadulterated form of carnality, yet with something so inherently shy lurking beneath.
Somehow, Kim Taehyung never ceases to amaze him.
The other is left in his tee and briefs, and he glances at Jeongguk almost bashfully through thick eyelashes, and God, if that doesn’t drive him absolutely insane with need.
What he wouldn’t give to feel Taehyung around him right now.
Taehyung gnaws gently at his lower lip before finally hooking a finger around each sides of his underwear and sliding it slowly (sensuously) down the slope of his thighs. He feels strangely hesitant despite the amount of times they’ve done this prior. For some reason, Jeongguk manages to make him feel like it’s the first time all over again.
Jeongguk just about swallows his own tongue at the sight of those thick, golden thighs and everything else bared before him. He’ll never get tired of the view. He has a thing for Tae’s supple, glorious thighs- most especially when they’re trembling and clenched around either sides of his head.
Taehyung inches towards the other cautiously, finding that intense gaze slightly imposing (invasive in the most delectable way), before he seats himself in that firm lap, the press of those muscled thighs making his breath stutter. Jeongguk inhales sharply at the sensation of Taehyung’s ass perched right above his cock, and it sends his mind into overdrive. His blood feels like it’s on fire, scorching turbulently beneath his veins.
“Fuck,” Jeongguk swears as his face twists into a scowl, agitation bleeding into his features. “I don’t have any lube on me.”
Taehyung almost snorts at the other’s tribulations as he reaches down towards the discarded pile of clothing, fingers searching the back pockets of his jeans before settling on and retrieving a foil wrapper. He tosses it carelessly into the other’s lap, feeling unprecedentedly smug that he’s the one who’s prepared for once.
Jeongguk feels a rush of relief when he notices the lubricated label, praising the deities for the other's preparedness before something suddenly dawns upon him and the illusion jars and shatters like glass. There’s a distasteful lump gathering in the base of his throat and he thinks he feels his pulse throb unforgivingly around his temples.
“Taehyung,” He starts quietly, composed but with an ominous undertone. “What the fuck are you doing with a condom in your pocket?”
Because Taehyung rarely carries protection around with him. Jeongguk is always the one with the materials in hand when they make plans to fuck. And Jeongguk knows for a fact that they certainly made no such plans today.
The older is briefly taken aback at the hostility in the other's voice, brows furrowing in displeasure because they were both eager and ready a moment ago but now the atmosphere feels stilted and awkward, charged with tension and waves of acerbity coming from Jeongguk. He snaps out of it quickly, however, because he doesn't appreciate the tone. He feels a prickle of irritation from being interrogated like that, and he lashes out before he can stop himself.
"Well, I did tell you I had plans with Wonho tonight, didn't I?"
He immediately berates himself afterwards, because he loathes pettiness and yet he currently exemplifies the characteristic to a fault. And this is what consistently happens when they're around each other, he assumes the worst version of himself.
How can he ever tell himself that they'd be good together like this?
It's almost humorous how rapidly Jeongguk's expression morphs into something ugly- venomous and contorted with fury as his eyes narrow into slits.
"You're not going anywhere near that fucker, tonight or any other night." He seethes, fingers tightening almost painfully around his hips.
"I'll do whatever I goddamn please, you asshole." His own jet black eyes narrow dangerously in response. "And if I want to see Wonho tonight and sit on his fucking cock, then I'll do that, with or without your permission." He spits furiously, appalled that Jeongguk even has the gall to assume he has the right to tell him what to do.
That condom is definitely not for Wonho's use later. To be honest, he's never told Jeongguk that he carries a few spares in his bag at all times just in the case of mishaps or if the other forgets (which he never has).
But it's not like he's going to tell Jeongguk this.
Because he's angry- offended, that Jeongguk thinks he has any say in his autonomy. And if the younger wants to believe that it's for Taehyung and another person's use later on, then he certainly isn't going to correct him. Especially if it provokes him the process.
Perhaps Taehyung really is petty like that.
To be even more honest, Taehyung had purposely slipped it into his back pocket after speaking to Wonho. He knew Jeongguk was watching, of he course he did (he always does).
And he also knew Jeongguk would react brashly if he felt his position was being threatened, so perhaps he had predicted that there would be some kind of volatile confrontation sooner or later. And if that were the case, Taehyung would make sure he'd have as much of an upper hand as possible.
So he'd taken one and tucked it into his jeans, knowing that if worse came to worst, he could always shove it in the other's face and use it against him later.
(He didn't think they might actually find use for it later on).
Because he knew how much it would bother Jeongguk to have these ideas planted inside his head. Images of Taehyung bare and laid out prettily against the sheets with someone else in between his legs, making him cry, beg-
God, would it drive Jeongguk crazy.
That's exactly why Taehyung did it.
And this, Taehyung thinks sadly, is why they will never be good for each other. Because they know of nothing else but to afflict, driving in a knife where it hurts the most and digging just a little deeper.
He wishes the admittance weren't accompanied with such a sharp stab of grief.
"Tae," His eyes are alight with rage, looking as though he's barely holding himself back from forcing him against the wall and breaking him apart. Taehyung's heart absolutely does not quiver at this. "I said you're not fucking seeing Ho Seok tonight." He snarls against his ear and Tae's thighs tremble at the dip of his inflection, but the words also make his blood boil.
"It's funny how you think you actually have a say in this," he returns lividly, tone laced with venom. “You don't get to tell me what I can or can't do, Jeongguk. My body is mine to do as I please with and if you think otherwise, then you can go fuck yourself." He bites, feeling the ire churn unpalatably in his stomach, suddenly overcome with the urge to separate himself from the other. Because it's always like this, starting with something trivial before their tempers clash and it escalates into something uncontainable and cataclysmic.
“You know what,” he mutters in a clipped tone, anger overriding his rationale as he suddenly finds the idea of being around Jeongguk abhorrent. “I don’t have time for this bullshit, Jeongguk. If you’re going to be like this then there’s no reason for me to be here.” He extricates himself from the other's lap, face indurated as he bends down to retrieve his pants jerkily. He's just about to slip a leg through his briefs before there's a strong hand around his arm, yanking him back down so that he's seated once again in Jeongguk's lap.
"Fuck." Jeongguk swears loudly, running a hand through his hair in agitation. Dark orbs blaze with frustration, but there's a greater collectedness to his demeanor. He inhales deeply, attempting to ease the raucous breaths as well as the tightness in his chest.
"Kim Taehyung," He utters, irritation still ensconced somewhere within his tone but possessing more self-control this time around. "Are you trying to piss me off?"
Taehyung scoffs, still feeling aggravated but temper abating somewhat at the brush of a gentle thumb against his hipbone.
It's not fair, he thinks. Jeongguk knows that's his weakness.
It's what he always does when Taehyung is incensed (when he's made him that way).
He wishes the other didn't understand him that well.
"I think you're doing a respectable job of that on your own." His expression remains guarded, but he feels some of the antagonism ebb away with every stroke across his skin. He suppresses a shiver.
Definitely not playing fair.
Jeongguk huffs, the scowl on his face mitigating as his features melt into something more lax. He leans his head gently against the other's, foreheads touching lightly.
"God," he breathes against smooth lips, miffed but unrelenting in his ministrations, enjoying the sensation of warm skin beneath his fingertips. "You make me so fucking angry sometimes, Tae."
Taehyung wants to laugh at the irony because if that ain't the truth.
"Well you're still a fucking dick." He replies vexedly (almost petulantly), gradually succumbing to the tranquil caresses against his hips. He subconsciously arches into the other's touch.
Jeongguk lets out a chuckle at this, unfeigned and free from the restraints of his animosity.
And it's a beautiful sound, Taehyung thinks wistfully, rare but probably one of his favorite things in this world.
He wishes he could have bared witness- could have been the cause of it more often, but Jeongguk doesn't laugh like that much around him.
But that's okay. Because if he had, Taehyung isn't sure that he would be able to let go quite this easily.
"So," He clears his throat, unwilling to let himself fall back into that state, to those thoughts. "Are you going to let me ride your dick, or what?" He's not sure that he could handle it with the same indifference that Jeongguk can. It'll be easier if he keeps his emotions out of this, if the other thinks that it means nothing more to him than the fulfillment of carnal desires.
If only it really were that simple.
Because he doesn't think that lust is supposed to ache like this.
Jeongguk's laughter dies in his throat. "Shit, Tae," he chokes, the desire thickening in his tone as his fingers instinctively flex around the circumference of his hips. "You can't just fucking say things like that."
Taehyung allows the edges of his lips to quirk upwards into a devious grin.
"But baby," he whispers erotically against velvety lips, words drawled in a sensual timbre. "Your dick is so good, especially when it's inside me."
"Fuck," the expletive soars from his mouth, Tae's words going straight to his cock and nourishing the lust in his veins. He curls a hand around the back of the elder's neck, pulling him forward into a fierce kiss. He parts the other's lips fervently before slipping his tongue inside that warm cavern and tracing the ridges of his orifice unremittingly.
Taehyung moans wantonly into his mouth, fingers clutching the front of Jeongguk's tee desperately, eager to feel that ripped body as closely as possible. He wants him so, so bad and his patience is dissipating by the second.
So he nudges Jeongguk aside, ignoring the growl of protest and the trail of saliva between their lips. The younger is staring up at him hungrily, looking so much like he wants to devour- possess every last inch of his body, and it sends his nerves on overdrive. He releases his grasp around Jeongguk's shirt, languidly bringing three fingers up and tracing them over his lips coyly before slipping them inside his mouth. He swirls his tongue over his digits lewdly, coating them generously with his spit and never once breaking eye contact with the other.
Jeongguk's breath stutters, member stiffening agonizingly and throat absolutely parched as he stares, riveted by the sight before him.
God, he wonders if Taehyung knows how sexy he is.
He wants to wreck him in every possible way.
Taehyung swipes his tongue over his fingers one more time before pulling them out, lips slick with spit and looking so fucking pretty (delectable) to Jeongguk.
If he thought the other was gorgeous earlier with those fingers in his mouth, then the sight of him reaching behind and pressing a finger inside himself just about shatters him in the worst kind of way.
Jeongguk bites down on a groan, heart speeding up erratically as he witnesses the other's eyes fall shut, a wanton moan leaving those shiny, pink lips. He hears him gasp breathily as he slips another finger inside, head lolling to the side and Jeongguk wants nothing more than to sink his teeth into that beautiful expanse of skin, to mar that flawless surface with patches of magenta and maroon.
Jeongguk's fingers are bruising against Taehyung's hips, yet it's the most delightful sensation coupled with the feel of his own fingers pressed inside himself, the slight burn making him incomprehensible with need.
He wants to feel Jeongguk inside him so bad.
He pumps his fingers in and out, reveling in the ripples of pleasure it sets off, thighs trembling from the exertion and soft mewls escaping his lips. He slips a third finger inside, meeting more resistance this time around and he nearly keens at the pleasurepain it incites, rhythm faltering as he exhales shakily. There's a mild sting but his mind is still swimming with gratification. His mouth parts into an 'o,' tongue peeking out to skim across dry lips as he drives his fingers even further within. He curls his digits after one particularly hard thrust and nearly caves into the other's arms.
"Jeongguk," he whines needily, thighs shaking from the shock of pleasure that rattles him, leaving his body on fire and desperate for the other's touch.
"Fuck," Jeongguk swears hotly, vaguely wondering if it's possible to be this envious of someone else's fingers. "You're so beautiful, baby. God, I want to fucking worship you and tear you apart at the same time." He murmurs mindlessly- devoutly.
Taehyung moans shamelessly, pressing down on a lump before his entire frame seizes and he emits a choked cry, body falling forward against Jeongguk's chest. There are black spots surrounding his vision and the corners of his eyes burn with unshed tears.
"Jeongguk, please." He pleads pitifully, clutching at a strong bicep with his free hand, knowing that his voice is borderline frantic (piteous) but he doesn't care. "I need your cock inside me, pleasepleaseplease." He almost cries, distress coating every syllable.
"Jesus Christ," he curses underneath his breath, cock throbbing with the need to be inside the other. "You'll be the fucking death of me."
He pushes Taehyung forward before reaching for the ends of his shirt, dragging it over the expanse of his torso and above his head before discarding it efficiently to the side.
Taehyung ogles that tan, defined torso with longing. He wants to rake his fingers caustically over that broad chest.
Jeongguk leans over to the side, picking the foil wrapper from the floor. He quickly tears the side open with his teeth, spitting the excess out and retrieving the slick piece of latex before tossing the wrapper. He pinches the tip lightly before positioning it impatiently over his dick, ready to roll it down his shaft until he feels slim fingers grip his wrist, halting his movements.
Taehyung is looking at him with glazed eyes and a parted mouth, something carnal and intense varnishing those dark orbs and Jeongguk nearly groans aloud at the sight.
"Let me do it." He whispers intently against his lips, slipping his fingers out of his ass with a breathy exhale and eyes glimmering with something playful- delusively demure. He stares at him kittenishly through hooded lids.
Fuck. He's really trying to kill him.
"Shit, Tae. Yes, god yes."
Taehyung worries his lip invitingly, attempting to shield the growing smirk as he extracts the condom from Jeongguk's hands. He situates it above the other's erection before slowly- much too slowly- sliding it fully down the length of his stiff cock.
Jeongguk growls at the torturous pace, squeezing those slim hips warningly and the other flashes him a shit eating grin in return. Tae's lithe fingers ghost over his member teasingly, evoking a husky groan as the other continues stroking him from the base, twisting his wrist as he moves up.
Taehyung enjoys the influence he has over the other, relishing in the strangled groans drawn and watching carefully for the subtle shifts in expression as he slowly reaches a state of euphoria from his ministrations.
But he's never been terribly proficient with self-restraint nor patience, so he strokes the other a few more times before leaning in and running his tongue obscenely over the outline of his ear, lust spiking at the small shiver which courses through Jeongguk's system as a result.
"I want your cock so bad, Gukkie." He breathes lustily, biting down gently on his lobe and causing Jeongguk to jerk in place. He knows how much it sets his blood aflame whenever he uses that name.
"Fuck." Profanities come instantaneously. "Lift your hips for me, baby."
Taehyung complies readily, elevating himself and allowing Jeongguk to guide his hips, fingers clenched and bruising against his skin. The younger raises his body until Taehyung feels the tip of his cock brush against his entrance, stoking the burgeoning lust in his loins. He gnaws at his lip to keep himself from whimpering.
Jeongguk presses his forehead against Taehyung's, supporting his frame as he gazes into those captivating eyes with sheer lust and yearning, hot breaths caressing his lips.
"Is this okay?" He prods, fueled by a sense of longing but adamant about gaining the other's assent first.
He hopes to god it is, otherwise he'll probably have the worst case of blue balls to date.
Taehyung's fingers slither into jet black strands, tugging faintly before he lowers his hips so that he feels Jeongguk's cock breach his entrance, eliciting a moan from them both. He gasps softly against the other's mouth.
"Get inside me right now or I'll fucking castrate you."
Even when Taehyung's on the brink of pleasure, he's still a feisty little shit. But who is Jeongguk to deny him?
His grip around those hips is unforgiving as he slowly lowers the other onto his member, studying his face for any visible signs of discomfort. He feels the tip of his cock slip past that tight ring of muscle, and he groans in delight. He lets up in his ministrations, handing the reigns over to Taehyung as the other arches his back in bliss. The older's hands tighten painfully in his hair as he continues to descend onto his member at a languid pace, expelling a strangled moan as he slides in inch by inch.
Taehyung forgets how much it burns every time, and the stretch from the other's girth causes him to tense up even more. He forces down a choked whine, attempting to focus on any hint of pleasure instead of the pain. He feels the other trace soothing patterns along his skin, lips brushing ever so slightly against his pulse point and tracing butterfly kisses along the columns of his throat.
Every inch he descends brings greater affliction, but he also knows how fucking incredible it can feel so he continues to ease himself down unhurriedly, hissing in pain as he forces Jeongguk's cock further past his walls. He can feel how tense the younger male is below him, aware that it's probably taking a substantial amount of self control to remain still as he gradually slips further inside.
When Taehyung finally bottoms out, it's with a shaky exhale and a soft whine.
"Fuck," he mutters restlessly, fingers clenching reflexively around dark tresses as he tries his best to ignore the potent sting. His thighs quiver from the toil, muscles tense from his discomfort.
He hears an onslaught of expletives slip out of Jeongguk's mouth as well before a strong hand grasps his own hair, pulling him down to crush their lips together. Jeongguk swallows Taehyung's groans and pained whimpers effortlessly.
It doesn't completely detract from the pain, but it offers some form of distraction and so he reallocates his concentration and energy to the taste of Jeongguk's mouth instead.
After all, that mouth does wonders.
Jeongguk breaks their kiss to glance up at Taehyung wondrously, the feeling of the other's hot, snug walls around him rendering him stupid. He feels so fucking good, and it's taking every last ounce of his willpower not to thrust up into that luscious heat.
But Taehyung's brows are scrunched in what he assumes is pain, features screwed up unpleasantly, and Jeongguk may be an asshole, but even he knows where to draw the line.
"Are you okay?" He murmurs quietly, staring up at the other with something akin to concern reflecting off his orbs. His tone is soft- gentle- and Taehyung wishes he wouldn't do that.
Act like he cares, that is.
Because Taehyung is no fool, and he knows the mind can trick itself into believing what it wants to believe- will pick and choose the things it wishes to see. And he knows for a fact that Jeongguk couldn't give two shits about him, so he'd really like for him to drop the charade.
Because his mind knows better, but his heart is much more easily deceived and he makes it hard- so unbelievably, fucking hard- for Taehyung to remain detached and unaffected when he pretends to care.
It makes it so much harder for Taehyung not to fall into these illusions and hopes for a future, and that's just pointless and a pernicious way of thinking.
He can't afford to fall, he can't.
Because he'll be only a fraction of himself when the storm passes and he realizes that he's standing alone in the aftermath. That he was standing by himself all along.
So he needs Jeongguk to uphold this image of a stolid, uncaring stranger because that way Taehyung won't have to worry as much about tripping up along the way.
His heart won't feel like it's in jeopardy then.
And then he can sever all ties that much more easily.
"Move, Jeongguk." He utters perhaps a bit too desperately, even despite the persistent ache from below. He buries his face against the other's neck, because he doesn't trust himself not to crumple with one knowing glance from the other.
Perhaps he needs the physical sting more than the mental (emotional) one right now.
Jeongguk frowns, sensing something off with the other's words and his inflection. "Taehyung-"
"Jeongguk, I need you to fuck me right now okay?" He pleads, on the verge of desperation because he can't- he really can't- and he feels himself slowly beginning to unravel at the seams and he hates it. God, he hates it so much, and he doesn't understand why he's reacting like this but he needs to distract himself from the thoughts threatening to plague his mind because they carry the potential to destroy him and he just can't allow that. "I'm fine, okay? I can take it, and I just really need you to move, Jeongguk. Please, just-" His voice breaks off suddenly, clogged with emotion he didn't even realize had culminated, and his eyes are starting to prickle and he feels horrible, God, does he feel horrible and he wishes he could make it stop (make this thing, this feeling inside him, stop).
"Hey, hey," Jeongguk interrupts, slightly alarmed at the burgeoning distress he detects in the other's voice, palpable and causing something foreign to stir within him. Something rather disquieting but that he's unable to pinpoint. "Taehyung, look at me." He orders, drawing the other's face towards his own, palm traveling downwards to cup his face gently.
Taehyung's features are etched with something that resembles misery, and Jeongguk is confounded because he has no idea what's going on- why the other looks this way. But there's such a vivid imploration encapsulated within and Jeongguk feels something grip him from the inside.
"Tae," he whispers almost tenderly, gazing at him with seriousness in his eyes. "Talk to me. What's going on?" Because he's never seen the other like this before, looking so upset and as though he's seconds away from crumbling- so used to him putting up a strong front and maintaining a distant demeanor, and he honestly doesn't know what to do.
This only magnifies Taehyung's desolation, his heart clenching intolerably in his chest as he feels himself slowly fall apart, which is the last thing he absolutely wanted.
"Please just fuck me, Jeongguk." He begs, staring at the other with wide, sorrowful eyes. "I just need you to do this for me, okay? I know I've never given you a reason to grant me favors but I'm begging you, please just do this-"
"Hey," he echoes, grabbing the sides of his face with both hands now, murmuring placatingly against his lips as his forehead gently meets the other's. "Okay," he answers quietly, expression solemn but tinged with concern. "Okay," he repeats. "Whatever you want, Tae. But we go slow, okay?" He offers, voice comforting but stern. "And if at any point you want to stop, then you tell me and we'll stop, okay?" His tone leaves no room for argument, and this is exactly what he didn't want- he doesn't want any fucking concern, doesn't need gentleness or consideration.
No, what he wants (needs) is for Jeongguk to fuck him hard and unconcernedly, needs callousness and to momentarily forget but at least the other seems to be dropping the subject.
So he nods faintly in response, relieved that the other is giving him a way out. Because he's not sure what he'd do if he had to try and tread any longer in these open waters, attempting to salvage himself and explain why he's slowly sinking into a deep abyss.
He's not sure what he would- what he could say.
Jeongguk is still wearing a troubled look on his face, regarding the other severely, but he has a feeling the other is eager to sweep the issue under the rug and that it'll push him farther away the more he pries. Maybe he needs this just as much as Taehyung does.
So he relents, examining Taehyung's face vigilantly as he settles his hands back against the other's sides, keeping him in place as he begins to move. He hears the other's breath hitch.
This serves to encourage him as he slowly rocks into the other with controlled movements, maintaining a leisurely pace as he simultaneously brings those hips down, ensuring his cock penetrates deeply each time.
The sensation incites a brume of pleasure, leaving him restless and eager to feel the other more closely. He thrusts his hips with slightly more vigor the next time around, eyes still glued to the other's face, and he feels a sudden tightening around him in response.
"Fuck, Tae." He moans quietly, digging his fingers into supple flesh. "You feel so good around me, baby."
"Jeongguk," Tae breathes raggedly, eyes falling shut in gratification as he winds his arms around the other's shoulders, drawing their bodies closer together. "Shit. Faster, please."
Jeongguk complies readily, losing himself to the feeling of that constricting heat around his length. He snaps his hips up, slow but burying himself inside the other and it educes a sharp whine from those abused, plush lips. Jeongguk represses a groan as he marvels at the sight of the other looking ethereal above him- looking so fucking pretty sitting on his cock with his neck bared.
Jeongguk surrenders to temptation and brings his mouth over the span of that throat, closing his teeth around warm skin. He bites down roughly, eliciting a sharp gasp from Taehyung as those soft hands grasp his hair in his surprise. He hears the other moan softly as his mouth works fastidiously against golden skin, sucking harshly and breaking tissue.
Tae is possibly the most exquisite sight when he's abandoned in his own pleasure, unrepressed for Jeongguk's indulgence and body more open and honest in that moment than in any other instance.
As much as Taehyung may despise it, his body doesn't lie and Jeongguk revels in drawing unspoken truths and uninhibited forms of expression when the other is overcome with ecstasy.
It's one of the few times he can see the other exposed- vulnerable, for him. And Jeongguk finds those instances strangely addictive, craves that control and subsequent high he achieves from making Taehyung so ridden with his own desire that he has no choice but to fall back on the only person who can catch him in that moment: Jeongguk himself.
He knows there's no one who understands Taehyung's form, who can rile up and shatter him as thoroughly as he can and he relishes the power he holds over the other.
"Shit, Tae," he murmurs like a mantra, thrusting his hips languidly but in a steady motion, feeling every inch of that tight cavern gripping him as he moves. The surrounding heat is euphoric, setting his blood on fire and causing titillating waves to travel through his flesh. "You're so fucking tight, I want to keep you on my dick forever." He breathes salaciously against his ear.
Taehyung groans throatily at the filth spewed. Jeongguk knows exactly how weak his words make him and the fucker uses it to his full advantage.
It pisses him off.
He grimaces at the lingering ache in his ass, but the sting is slowly leveling out into something delectable, making his skin crawl in the most magnificent way. His mouth runs dry.
He's not terribly fond of remaining passive, however, so he swallows down his discomfort and raises his hips suddenly, catching Jeongguk by surprise before abruptly dropping himself back down on that hard cock. The resulting noises pulled from them both make his blood sing.
The burn is almost pleasant this time around.
"God," Jeongguk suppresses a growl as Taehyung begins gyrating his hips sensuously, lithe fingers pressed solidly against his chest and breathy moans expelled from that luscious mouth. He caves and chases those lips with his own, until they clash and tangle in a tussle for dominion. Jeongguk seeks to devour and Tae combats his fervor just as passionately.
He wants so badly.
Jeongguk's given up all pretenses, lost in his own carnality as he aims his cock with precision, grinding his hips thoroughly. He searches enthusiastically for the spot within Tae that'll make him see black holes and supernovas behind sealed eyelids, rocking forward relentlessly as he pins the other's hips down against his own so he has no way of escaping. The periodic whines and profanities spilling from the older drive his lust, prompting him to speed up his thrusts, his thighs burning from the motions.
His head swirls with bliss, unaware of the magnitude of the expletives edging out of his mouth, but he's too far gone to care. All he can focus on is the delicious restriction of those walls, suffocating and making his cock throb as he continues to push past resistance.
"Shit, baby, you feel so good." He swears, eyes snapping shut as his tongue comes out to swipe against dry lips. He's certain there will be evidence of his fingertips against the other's skin come tomorrow, purple and blossoming over the expanse of his hips.
The thought feeds into Jeongguk's hunger, evoking a potent flare of want (possession) and it propels him to drive his hips forward with one particularly merciless thrust and at that, Taehyung's frame seizes, a loud cry wrenched from his throat.
"Fuck, right there Jeongguk," he nearly shouts, bursts of white exploding behind his vision. "Don't stop, don't you dare fucking stop." His fingers are unforgiving against his locks, intertwined firmly and yanking hard with every brush against his prostate.
He won't ever allow anyone else to touch (to glimpse at) what's his.
Jeongguk quickly adjusts their positions, drawing Taehyung closer as he pistons his hips upwards into that constraining heat. All sense of rationale has been discarded, tossed out the window as his mind is consumed with thoughts of Taehyung and how fucking sinful the other feels around him.
"Shit," Taehyung keens, tears pricking the corners of his eyes as he feels his blood incinerate with every passing moment. "Oh my god, so good Guk," he babbles incoherently against the other's mouth. "Please don't fucking stop."
Jeongguk response comes in the form of an all-consuming kiss and rough hands guiding his hips back and forth, the shift in direction hitting all kinds of nerves inside and it causes him to stiffen, body and mind overcome with ecstasy.
"Holy shit," he moans, voice absolutely destroyed as he tips his head back uncontrollably, severing their kiss much to the younger's displeasure. He feels himself tense from the overwhelming pleasure, every part of him feeling like it's on the verge of combusting into flames. He can sense the tell-tale tightening in his loins and he knows he's going to come soon if Jeongguk keeps fucking him like this.
Jeongguk growls at the feel of Tae's walls closing in around him almost brutally and he knows that usually means he's approaching his orgasm.
"Do you want to come, Tae?" He whispers almost tauntingly, fingers enclosing around the base of his shaft as he pistons his hips harder (faster) against the other's ass, the sound of skin slapping against skin resounding clearly throughout the empty classroom.
Taehyung whimpers at the sensation, the touch against his cock setting him on edge and making him feel so sensitive.
"Jeongguk, please," he chokes, voice hoarse with strain. "Please let me come."
Jeongguk hums, something devious swimming in his orbs as he continues to stare at the other intently, deriving pleasure from the way those features alternate between gratification and tension, mouth parted and tongue coming out to run over his lips in his frenzy.
Jeongguk slams his hips up the same time he pulls Taehyung's ass flush against his cock and the other lets out a sob.
"Jeongguk, please," he cries in his distress, rambling senselessly and body shivering from delectation. The pleasure burns so hotly in the pit of his stomach, his member agonizingly hard and he wants- needs- to come so bad. His fingernails pierce sweat slicked skin as he feels the other graze his prostate intimately. "Oh my god, I'm gonna come, baby please," he begs, clutching those firm biceps viciously as he grinds his hips harshly, feeling every ridge of that hard cock inside him.
It drives him into a state of delirium, strangled moans pulled from his lips as his head falls back uninhibitedly, tremors wracking his frame. His body is on fire and his toes curl in pleasure at the sensation of Jeongguk's cock rubbing so unbelievably deep inside him.
He's so close.
"Jeongguk!" He pleads, tears brimming his corners and it's almost too much. He can't, he feels like he's going to shatter into a thousand shards and never be able to piece himself back together again. The grip around his cock briefly tightens before releasing, stealing Taehyung's remaining sanity with it.
"Come for me, baby." He whispers hotly (lecherously) against his ear before delivering a ruthless thrust, ensuring the length of his cock is seated fully inside the other, that ass pressed flush against his lap and he feels the ensuing constriction around him.
"Holy fuck." Taehyung gasps, vision coruscating into patterns of black and white, frame stiffening before a tidal wave of euphoria crashes into him and renders him mindless. His fingers find and become entangled in soft, raven tresses, body shuddering violently as his orgasm assaults him in waves. "Oh my god, baby. Fuck." He breathes shakily, white ropes of cum painting Jeongguk's abdomen messily.
"Jesus Christ, Tae," Jeongguk groans gutturally, the feeling of those muscles contracting around him tortuous. He feels his own climax approaching, sensations heightened with every brush against that tight cavern and he increases his pace, rotating his hips sensually as he eliminates all space between them. "You're so good for me baby," he sings praises reverently, latching his mouth wetly against tanned, sweaty skin. He traces his tongue over the other's neck obscenely, lapping up the surrounding saltiness against his skin. "You feel so good, Tae. I want to stay inside you for days."
Taehyung's legs quiver at the words, mind still racked with ecstasy and body trembling from the aftershocks, feeling more sensitive with every movement from the other. He mewls, attempting to lift his hips- to escape the persistent sensation, but Jeongguk holds his hips firmly in place, continuing to rock into him torturously.
"Jeongguk," he whines, shaking in the other's arms and groaning at the perseverating pleasure that the younger supplies.
"Fuck, Tae." He growls, chasing his orgasm as he thrusts up unceasingly, bringing the other's head down to capture his lips in hopes that it'll distract him from his impending release. The way Tae's walls periodically clench around him from the aftermath of his climax is making him dizzy, setting every nerve on edge as he tiptoes closer to the brink of euphoria. He bites down hard on soft lips, pushing his tongue inside and mapping the valleys of that slick mouth. "Shit, baby I'm close." He moans breathlessly, propelling his hips with force. "Fuck."
Taehyung's tongue brushes softly against his, eliciting a shaky moan and Jeongguk just about loses it, reaching the pinnacle of gratification.
"I'm coming." He groans, snapping his hips forward unyieldingly. "Fuck baby, I'm coming." His voice tapers off into a rough growl, head thrown back in bliss.
His climax hits him like a freight train, approaching from a distance and then pummeling into him with a force unheard of. Constellations implode behind his irises as the pleasure grips him entirely, setting his nerves on overdrive and tackling him from the insides. His fingers find purchase on Tae's hips, anchoring him as the sensation crests, muscles tense and frame quivering as he rides the waves of his high.
"Fuck." He expels a shuddery breath, body pliant and pulsing with the aftershocks of his climax. He hears the other moan quietly above him, shifting his hips slightly and causing him to jerk his hips upwards instinctively, sending a shiver down both of their frames.
Taehyung's arms cave and he collapses against the other's chest, ragged breaths fanning across those rigid, sweat-coated muscles. "Shit," he breathes exhaustedly, still panting harshly, attempting to ease his rapid heartbeat.
He feels a deep rumble beneath him, a tired chuckle slipping from the other's mouth. "Christ, Tae." Warm hands find their way across the span of his back, tracing gentle circles against sweat-slicked skin.
Said male lets out a breathy laugh in response before lifting himself up tiredly, the movement causing his knees to tremble from the sensitivity. He groans when he feels a deep ache from below.
Fuck. This'll be a pain in the ass to deal with tomorrow. Literally.
Jeongguk shifts as he feels the other struggle above him, carding his fingers gently through chestnut brown locks. He brings the other's face close as he surges forward, seeking paradise in the gates of Taehyung's orifice. He kisses him slowly, like he plans on dedicating the entire day to exploring the caverns of his mouth.
Taehyung falls the way he always does, opening himself up and allowing the other to caress the planes of his lips.
This is perhaps one of the reasons why Taehyung has always had a difficult time resisting the other, despite his best efforts to do so.
Because it's the only time Jeongguk isn't buried- sheathed in layers of steel as he blocks off all possible pathways to the person that lies on the inside. It's the only time he isn't completely guarded. His body is strangely open (honest) when they fuck, and Taehyung has always been weak-
Terribly weak for affection and intimacy, and with Jeongguk, he was willing to take what he could get.
(Because the prospect of not having him at all was a lot more unbearable than having just a sliver of him).
Jeongguk pauses in his ministrations, nudging his nose gently against the other's, ebony eyes staring deeply into his.
"Are you okay?" He presses, thumbing the corners of Taehyung's lips gently (much too gently) and Taehyung doesn't understand why, but for some reason the gesture causes a part of him chip away on the inside.
And suddenly, the fallacy unravels before his very eyes and it becomes clear to him again.
Suddenly, the other's touch is searing against his flesh, causing him to flinch away as he evades the other's questioning glance. He attempts to erect a wall around himself (his heart) again but for some reason, it feels like he's working with faulty bricks and they're not fulfilling their purpose.
Jeongguk's kindness hurts more than a thousand needles pricking his skin.
(Because at least needles don't lead you to false conclusions. You anticipate, upfront, that they'll impose harm).
He can't do this again. He told himself he wouldn't.
Because Taehyung is powerless when it comes to these scant instances of tenderness. It fills him with a false sense of hope, and he convinces himself that there could potentially be something there, that there's something viable and worth clinging onto-
But then the veil around his eyes falls and he realizes that there was nothing there to begin with.
Taehyung may be weak when it comes to the slightest dash of affection, but even he knows that at some point, you have to let go.
And that time is now.
(Even if a small part of him ruptures on the inside. He'll never admit that it does).
Taehyung doesn't care, he doesn't.
They're better off apart, and he knows Jeongguk will be okay. More than okay. Come next week, he'll find someone better, someone much more worthy of fulfilling that place beside him and Taehyung will be nothing more than a passing memory, another face to skim over in the halls.
(So why does his heart feel like it's breaking then?)
Taehyung can't deal with this. Can't handle being so close anymore. He feels dirty, but only by his own hands.
Because as much as he hates the other sometimes, everything he chooses to do (chooses not to do), he could never hate the way he makes him feel when they're together. Could never hate the way Jeongguk builds him up only to tear him down all over again.
And maybe that's what he hates the most.
That, no matter how fulfilled he feels in the process, in the end he'll still be a defective, broken mess.
(But a small part of him is thankful that this last time was as amazing as it was, because it'll be the last memory he carries of them).
Taehyung pushes against that hard chest, separating himself from the younger despite vehement protests and letting out a sharp gasp when he feels his cock slip out of him. He turns away immediately, eager to gather his clothes and maximize the distance between them. A firm grip around his wrist stops him however.
"Where are you going?"
Taehyung wants to eradicate any capacity for concern from Jeongguk, at least, when it's directed at him. But it's not concern. Because that would mean that the other cares about his well-being (cares about him) on some level and that-
That just couldn't be farther from the truth.
He won't allow himself to think otherwise.
(Because that will only foster more hope, and that's the last thing Taehyung needs right now when he's already intent on leaving).
"I have to go." He answers succinctly, looking away because he fears doing anything else would threaten his resolve.
"Where?" Jeongguk interrogates, eyes narrowing in displeasure and Taehyung is once again reminded of why he needs to sunder himself from the other. For good.
Because he acts like Taehyung belongs to him (which he doesn't- never will), and that's not fair because he knows Jeongguk will never grant him the same privilege- will never allow himself to belong to Taehyung, in return.
He doesn't get to do this- push him away, only to draw him in close (asphyxiating him) when he deems it convenient. He doesn't get to choose when he wants Taehyung.
Taehyung deserves better than that. They both do.
"Home, okay Jeongguk?" He whispers tiredly, snatching his hand away, because he doesn't know what else to say. He's running out of excuses, he thinks, and it's exhausting being so angry (hateful) all the time. "So thanks for the fuck, it was great," the last part comes out bitterly, because it's the most honest and he wishes it weren't. "But now I have to go. I came, you came, mutual orgasms were ensured and now we're done. So you can run along again." He slips his underwear and jeans back on quickly, adjusting the wrinkles on his shirt and checking for any traces of their misdeed before running his fingers through his hair carefully, attempting to make himself look presentable once again and not like he was just fucked eight ways to Sunday.
Jeongguk rises at that, slipping the soiled condom off before tossing it carelessly into a nearby trash can (God, does he feel sorry for whoever might find that tomorrow). He pulls both his briefs and denim back on before quickly buttoning himself. He runs a hand through his damp fringe in frustration, turning to Taehyung with a penetrative stare and a tight scowl.
"And what exactly do you plan on doing then?" His voice assumes its usual coldness, the one that implies that there's nothing more between them than hot fucks within hidden corners of campus grounds.
This is what Taehyung is accustomed to. What he's most comfortable with because it destroys all remnants of what if's and maybe's.
It makes goodbye easier.
"Like I said earlier, it's really none of your business, now is it?" Taunts don't feel quite as satisfying this time around.
"Taehyung-" he starts, tone taking on a dangerous edge as his sable orbs flare with indignation once more.
"Have you ever played poker before, Jeongguk?" He cuts the other off before he has the opportunity to go off on him again.
Jeongguk's face contorts in confusion, the anger still prevalent within his mien but mixed with befuddlement at the sudden question.
"What? No," he breathes impatiently, glaring at Taehyung intensely. "What the hell does that have to do with anything? What does it have to do with you-"
"It's a game of chance and deception, really." Taehyung interrupts once again, tone even (impartial) as he elaborates. "It all comes down to what you're willing to wager."
The younger stares at him, confounded.
"See," he grabs his backpack from the floor, dusting it off mechanically before slinging it over his shoulder. "It's exhilarating when you start off, when you have greater room to err and more resources to wager away." He glances up, meeting the other's eyes, hoping his own appear as apathetic as he'd like them to. "The game doesn't seem quite as daunting then."
Jeongguk studies him critically, trying to pick apart and understand where this is going.
"Some players call, others check, and that all comes down to how you view the cards in your hand. On what you think can be done- what you think you can do and how you evaluate at your options. You have to determine what's worth risking and what's worth passing over."
Jeongguk feels something discomfiting settle in the pit of his stomach.
"And sometimes, when you feel like you're not getting the reaction you want, or if the other players aren't contributing to the game, you raise them. You elevate the stakes and force them to analyze their own hand, to see if what they have is worth keeping or if it should be discarded."
Taehyung returns his gaze meaningfully, and he knows for a fact that some of the emotion must be seeping through the fissures of his disposition.
He's never been very good at this game.
"To be honest, it's usually the individuals with the finest poker faces that come out as victors, because they know how to leave everything off to the side and divorce their emotions from the game. They know how to work the other players to ensure the best results, while the rest are left wondering what exactly to make of their hand."
Jeongguk feels something unpleasant weigh down his chest. He thinks he knows where this is going.
"So while it started out exciting and promising, with every consecutive loss- with every hand tossed away and every chip sacrificed- you slowly become more and more reserved in your bids. You take greater care and consideration before deciding on what to wager, because it's no longer a game of endless possibilities or rewards waiting to be reaped, but rather this waltz between players and a task to secure what you have left. Whatever remains of your once bountiful pile."
This time, when Taehyung looks up at him, Jeongguk feels something inside him wrench uncomfortably. Because he's never seen the older look this sad before, expression downcast and eyes glimmering with something forlorn.
"Some of the braver ones, the people who see the potential gains over the losses, may decide to go all-in, hoping that decision brings forth the results they so desire." He pauses, throat feeling clogged all of sudden and an unwanted pressure accumulating within his eyes. He swallows past what feels like a boulder residing in his windpipe. "But it's the careful ones, those who realize and accept that the odds are likely against them, who make the decision to fold and back out, taking with them whatever remains from this game of duplicity. They're the ones who come to understand that there are just some things no longer worth risking."
His voice wavers, and he hates himself for it because the only thing he had left was his ability to remain strong in front of the other. And now, he doesn't even have that.
"Tae," Jeongguk starts, feeling more bothered than he's felt in a long time. He's at a loss for words.
Taehyung shakes his head, directing his gaze towards the floor.
"I've always hated poker, Jeongguk." He murmurs quietly, a sad smile plaguing his features.
"Because the truth is, no one really comes out a winner. All players have something at stake, something to lose sooner or later."
Jeongguk's palms are clammy and a part of him has this urge to reach out, but he's not sure how, and when Taehyung glances up at him again, his eyes are still tinted with melancholy but shielded- intent on keeping Jeongguk out.
The moment passes by him like the evening breeze against a lone willow.
"Take care of yourself, Jeongguk."
And it's a wistful revelation, he thinks, that the most genuine words he's ever spoken to the other are also his very last.
Jeongguk thinks this feels strangely like goodbye.
He stands rooted to the spot, watching almost helplessly as the other flashes him a doleful smile, beautiful but poignant, before turning around and walking away- from the classroom, from him.
The distance stretches between them until nothing lingers but receding footsteps and the soft click of a door lock settling in place. Jeongguk continues to stand in place, fists clenched and expression barren.
A breeze settles in from the other side, belated yet biting all the same.