1. Baby blue
He never paid attention before. Why would he? A baby blue jeep that roams in Beacon Hills' streets was the least of his problems. Derek doesn't paid attention to the ordinary. He's always on his guards, looking for a heavy perfume, the cling of munitions, a too steady heartbeat. Something - anything - who could mean his imminent death.
Derek has always been paranoid. When he was little and was swallowing stupid monsters stories from Peter when really, he is the monster. Then growing up and becoming self-conscious about his face, his teeth, his ears - convinced that people were laughing at him behind his back. Then, there was the fire. These moments where Derek couldn't breathe, terrified to even make a step without being jumped at. Laura helped during these moments. A reassuring presence, a warmth in his body he always welcomed with guilt. But now she's dead. And it's like everything is starting again. Being frightened, lost but feeling the need to be tough, hard - the monster that people believe he is. The reason why we haunt him.
Why Laura is now cut in half.
So honestly, a teenage boy with a terrible buzzcut, so much energy that Derek can feel a headache coming just being near the kid and a constant smell of arousal. Well, it's the last of his troubles.
In reality, Derek can't help but notice. That afwul piece of junk who Stiles calls his baby - he heard it just the day before, when Scott made a disrespectful comment about it. It's like it's everywhere, running on Derek's nerves.
It's here the morning when Derek watches out for his new complication - Scott, newly bitten werewolf who could help him find her sister's murderer but doesn't give a damn about it (or really, maybe it's because he's still persuaded that Derek did it).
It's there when he goes out the night to buy some groceries like the kid can't do shopping on normal hours like everybody else.
It's near his propriety which tends to drive Derek's mad. Since he left Beacon Hills, he has never had this feeling of belonging somewhere. He doesn't believe he belongs to Beacon Hills either but his wolf - it's a different story. There are memories and old smells and anger and it's upset him badly to see such a constant invasion of his territory - specially if it's this spasmodic kid who let his sent everywhere without realizing it.
It's even there when Derek expects the least and that's the worst.
He keeps thinking that the reason Stiles is so unbearable is because he's everything Derek hates. Loud, mouthy, too smart for his own good, too alive for Derek who doesn't see himself as a human being anymore.
Stiles keeps getting in his path in everyway possible and Derek just want to rip the car piece by piece until it disasppears of his life for good.
It's why he's so surprised that day when he gets in the jeep - he's not calling it Roscoe even though in the few weeks he has known the kid, he had done it dozens of times - to smell his scent everywhere.
It's so unsettling - unexpecting - that Derek feels his claws grow up for one second before he regains control. He takes a sharp breath and suddenly, he can feel the kid's attention all over him.
'You okay dude?' There is always a hint of fear when Stiles speaks to him. But his heartbeat is steady - well as steady as Stiles can be - and Derek doesn't know what to think about it.
Doesn't know what to do with all his scent mixed with Stiles'. He can smell blood and woods and death and fear and sweat and arousal (Stiles') and a lot of things that, suddenly, Derek realizes the kid has become a permanent figure in his life.
He doesn't like the idea at all. So he says:
'Shut up and drive.'
Later, he smashes Stiles' face against his steering wheel - and it's only half because of the 'Miguel' thing.
But when he becomes the alpha and everything becomes power-sweet and a little terrifying, Derek looks for the first time for some normality. He looks for a baby blue jeep.
It's might be teal. As well as purple. With a little of red. Derek doesn't know. It mostly looks blue. Teal. Who cares really?
He does. And well, the reality of that statement feels like another roller-coaster for Derek that night.
On some way, he knows he cares for Scott. Right now, if you ask him, he might want to rip his throat out after that 'master plan' and all of this debacle with Gerard. He hates that Scott doesn't trust him - that Scott's fighting him so hard when Derek is just... trying. Fine, he's not the alpha of the year. But for the last few months, he saved Scott's butt numerous times. Doesn't that count for something?
Deep down, he knows it hurts because he wishes Scott would want him as his alpha. As someone he can rely on.
But he has Stiles for that. He doesn't annoy Derek as much as it did when they met. Where Scott goes, Stiles follows and Derek had no choice but to get along with the idea. It doesn't care for Stiles - he's not going to let him die either but care? No. Stiles is... too much, all the time.
Or though he believed.
But seeing that awful teal/red/purple bruise on his face - and the warehouse where they are is pretty dim, it must look way worse on the daylight - upsets Derek so fast he feels dizzy with it.
Lydia and Jackson are still hugging and kissing and whispering sweet nothings to each other. For the first time, Jackson doesn't look like the douchebag he is but like a vulnerable kid who seems ready to crumple if the girl in his arm doesn't stay close. Derek can't help but feel a little compassion for them. It's hard to stay tough when being surrounded by cheesy teenage romance.
Scott, Isaac (without surprise) and the Argents are gone, searching for Gerard but Derek doubts he can hurt anyone anymore. He doesn't care anymore.
It lets him and Stiles alone and Derek can't help but feel sorry for the kid who's eyeing his jeep skeptically.
Derek is used to be left alone at the end. But Stiles is nothing but loyal. And now he's without the girl, without his best friend. Without anything except anger and sorrow. The smell burns Derek's nose.
Its instinct who acts. In two big steps, he's near him, his eyes fixed on the bruise.
'Who was it?' He asks harshly, with his alpha voice. He regrets it a second later when he sees the kid flinch away. He can smell the fear pouring out of him and it upsets Derek even more. Stiles stopped smelling afraid near him for a while now.
'Uh. Not me. I'm not the one who pushed Scott to betray your genius plan with his genius plan. Sarcasm on the both. Just... Don't go all alpha on me. I had nothing to do with it.'
Stiles' voice is sour - there is a smell of rotten (different from Gerard's) and Derek's not sure a barely sixteen years old kid should feel like that.
He hesitates one second. Maybe he should just drop it. Stiles doesn't like him. Doesn't want comfort from him.
Again, roller-coaster because Derek's the first surprise at wanting to give it to him.
'No. The bruise. Who did this?' He asks - almost shy this time.
Stiles looks up and holds his eyes for a few seconds before starting to open the door of his jeep without doing more damages to the paint.
'Why do you care?' He asks and Derek can literally hear the lack of self-confidence in the words. 'Why not?' He answers back because Derek can't think of anything better to say.
There's another silence.
'Gerard. It was Gerard.' Derek hears the tremor but doesn't call Stiles on it. There this look on his face like being beat up by a human like Gerard... It's like it broke something in him. Derek knows the feeling.
And just for that, he cares. Because Stiles doesn't act weak or complains. He stands and Derek was never able to do such a thing.
'Let's get your jeep out of here and home before your dad launches another searching party.'
'Dude no... Isaac and Erica and Boyd and Sc...'
'Scott has everything under control, doesn't he?'
There is something vicious in Derek's tone that is reflected back on Stiles' face. For the first time, they are on the same side and Derek can feel them... Bounding for a lack of better word.
'Yes he does.'
'Hey... Hey... Save him.'
His eyes catch Stiles' and with the life flowing out of his body, all he can do is hold the stare for as long as he can until Stiles nods and disappears into the night.
But even when he can no longer see him, when all Derek can see his darkness - midnight blue floating around him - the image of Stiles' lithe body still burns into his retina.
Derek feels Braeden moving close to him and saying sweet nothing, swearing he's gonna be fine. Derek knows it's a lie. He doesn't heal anymore. Whatever Kate did to him in Mexico, it hurt the wolf and now Derek is... human.
And he feels weak. So weak. But that may be because his blood is pouring out of the wound, taking all his energy with it. He feels dizzy. Nothing make sense anymore but that blue - that blue so beautiful. Night has always been a comfort for him. Wolf or not.
He doesn't feel cold like he knows he should. Braeden is warm beside him. It's because she's that strong, beautiful, loving, human being and Derek loves her. He thinks it's love because with her, everything... Or rather, nothing hurts with her. Derek should have told her that.
He should have told Stiles, he thinks.
He opens his eyes when he hears gun fire but doesn't see anything. Everything went blue for him. And Stiles is there. Warm against his side like in the car. Sassy, anxious, comforting, strong, beautifully human in a way Derek will never be.
He should have told Stiles. After all they've been through, he should have told him that he cares. That he has become so much more than that annoying kid and Scott's sidekick and the helpful hand he asked for time to time and the darkness within him.
Because Stiles helped him see there's ugliness in him but not only. Derek can be good and okay again. It's not all because of him but Stiles... Stiles anchors him in a way that no one ever could before.
Not love. Not anger. Just Stiles.
Suddenly, he hears roars and Derek forces himself to open his eyes again. He didn't even realize he had closed them. There are gunshots everywhere and he can see shadows moving all around him. His shirt is soaked with blood but there is still that warmth inside of him.
Stiles' smell in his nose like it was only two seconds ago that he left and not a lot more time.
Stiles' heartbeat in his head like...
Wait, Derek realizes. He does hear werewolves fighting but they are all in the church even though he can definitively smell Kate...
Suddenly, he hears Stiles cry out even though he shouldn't but it's like electricity running through his veins.
His wolf comes to the surface so quickly that Derek doesn't have time to react. His human side is embraced by the animal and he howls into the night.
His body stretches and he can feel fur growing out everywhere. His paws land nicely on the ground and he charges. All he can think about his blue and Stiles.
When he transforms back and he's Derek again, he has taste of blood in his mouth and Kate lays on the ground, half alive. Braeden is near him and Derek wants to grab hold of her and kiss her. Because he cares for her. Loves her, yes. Even his wolf does. But Stiles is on his mind. Like he was a few months ago when Kate shot him and before that when Chris Argent was pulling a gun at him and Derek was terrified to discover a world without Stiles' sarcasm and loyalty. And way before that when Stiles was begging him to listen to him over Jennifer.
Stiles has become his anchor like it's the easiest thing in the world and Derek doesn't know what to think. What to do with that.
The weight on his chest finally disappears when Stiles comes out of the church. He doesn't seem hurt but there is this haunted look again in his eyes. He doesn't know what happened exactly but he can smell Peter's blood. Kira and Liam are supporting Scott - weak but alive though Derek swears he heard him roar ten minutes ago. Malia is behind, looking upset.
When Stiles sees him, for one second, the haunted look disappears.
'You're alive.' He says with awe in his voice. 'How?' And he knows there are a lot of questions bubbling up the surface. Stiles can never shut up.
'I evolved.' He simply answers because it's still confused on his head. 'You evolved? Since when are you some kind of lizard? Does that mean you have tail now?' Teases Stiles like the usual little shit he is.
Derek feels the corners of his mouth twitch. 'I'm just glad it's not over.' He finally confesses - he can share that secret with Stiles.
They look at each other - honey meets forest green. 'Me too.' And something shifts inside Derek.
One year later or so, Derek is watching How to get away with murder on Netflix because some girl in his class was horrified he had never watched it before. She has blond hair and a lot of freckles. She barely reaches five feet and never smells like lust near him. Derek likes her a lot and even indulges texting her while watching because it's what friends do. Nice things. And Derek has friends. A life where he's happy again and not looking over his shoulder every minute or two.
He's not surprised when we knock at his door. He lives in a nice building near Columbia where his sensitive ears are at ease from the neighbors and the streets. Where his nose is not assaulted by sex and other unpleasant smells. But there is M. Davidson just above him who opens the gate of the building every time they ring him because he's convinced it's his dog. The same dog who died years ago.
But Derek doesn't care. The man is nice if it's not a little crazy but he manages. He deals with salesmen and his friends popping around without warning.
What he doesn't expect is to open the door and find Stiles. He's shuddering on his doorstep, lips as blue as his light blue shirt. No steel. Almost more white like iron than blue.
'Stiles.' He breathes out, senses overwhelmed. The smell and the heartbeat and the distress he can feel deep down in his bones. 'Hi b-buddy. It's-s ni-ice to se-ee ya.' There is no sarcasm, no joke in his voice even if he knows Stiles intended to.
Derek stays shocked on his front door for almost a minute until Stiles shudders so violently it looks painful. 'God Stiles, you're freezing.'
He ushers him inside, wrapping an arm around his shoulders without thinking. Stiles follows without protest, actually leaning into him. 'Pointi-ing th-the obvi-vious bi-ig guy.' But again, that void in Stiles' sentence that makes him panic the most.
Now that Derek focuses, he can hear the rain falling outside, hard and abundant. How long Stiles did stay under it to look so cold, his lips so blue? Why didn't he call instead of standing alone in the dark? And mostly, what is he doing in New York?
'Sit down, I'm going to fetch towels and dry clothes.' He hurries in his bedroom and takes blankets, a sweatshirt and a pair of jogging before running back to Stiles.
The kid is pliant against him. Letting Derek take off his clothes clinically and dry him before dressing him up again and putting blankets all around him.
His lips still look like steel.
'Stiles... What... Why... How long did you stay under the rain?' He finally asks. It seems like the most pragmatic question and Derek likes to be pragmatic when crisis come. It does look like a crisis.
'I don't know. Maybe an hour or so?' He stops stuttering at least. 'Why didn't you just call?' Derek says with astonishment. He knows he left but he never - ever - closed his door. If Scott had needed anything, he would have helped. Him or Stiles or Lydia or anyone in the pack. But since he left, he got nothing. It hurt a little at first but Derek was never the texting - if not the talking - guy and he can't blame them for not trying.
'I... I didn't know if...' Derek thinks one second Stiles is going to stay if you'd pick up but he's not surprised when he finishes his sentence with: 'If I could do it.'
And he understands. He really does. Stiles looks as broken as he once was. The emptiness in his eyes, the way he seems ready to run at the first threat, the anxiety pouring out of him. Derek never asked help when he was like that. He remembered going to Stiles' room and demanding an hand but never was he putting himself in a weaker position.
'I get it. It's okay.' He says in a soft voice - almost a whisper like that night he almost died. Stiles looks at him and breaks right in front of him. Babbling and sobbing.
'We were at Scott's after the graduation and everyone was laughing like everything was okay and I couldn't. Scott bumped into me like we... he... Like he's not responsible if my dad was slashed by a freaking chimera and Lydia sent to Eichen house and tortured and Malia was not even here but he says it's okay, she needs time. But I'm not okay. We are not okay. He and I. I can't... He says he understands I can't forgive him now but he tries too hard. Maybe I don't wanna be pack. I don't wanna be his sidekick anymore.' He almost screams the last words and Derek is here, wrapping in a hug.
It's what Laura would have done. What he's right, he knows. He let Stiles cry again him for a long time that night. He listens when he wants to talk and doesn't push when Stiles doesn't tell him everything that that Theo has done.
He is just here because it's what Stiles needs. And Derek discovers long ago he would do anything for the boy. For his anchor.
5. Blue moon
The Thursdays nights, Derek always waits for Stiles before going back to their apartment. He finishes his day at seven but Stiles has this class until nine because there isn't another spot available for the teacher.
It's about something Derek can't even begin to explain and so do most of the students as Stiles told him a lot quit. But not him. Stiles is passionate by weird subjects and Derek loves that about him. Likes. Loves. Whatever. Derek doesn't think about that kind of things. Tries really hard not to.
So every Thursday, Derek spent almost two hours in the library working on his degree before packing and waiting for Stiles. It's an arrangement they established two weeks after the new semester began when Derek received a call from the nearest police station telling him Stiles had been arrested.
A petty thief tried to maul him and Stiles almost beat him to death. That night had been very long between stopping Stiles from having a panic attack multiple times and calling the Sheriff because Derek had to. He had promised him after all - to take care of his son and always tell him when something went wrong.
Stiles' darker part he still a sensitive subject even after two years of living in New York. Everyone is hoping it will go away eventually like Derek's demons but he knows better. No matter how Scott and Stiles are closer now, how strong the Sheriff's health is or how many times Lydia visits, void Stiles will always be a reality for him.
Derek knows. He is the one holding Stiles the nights when he has terrible nightmares that he has to cry himself to sleep. He's the one who knows better than to force Stiles to talk when he's in one of his moods. Or when to open his werewolf senses a bit and assure him that there is no danger around when Stiles fidgets.
Stiles is no longer that cute, innocent kid he once was. He went dark and darkness doesn't go away that easily. Derek is more than happy to help though. He's after all desperately in love with Stiles. But the young man is not his to have right now - maybe never - and Derek manages. When you love someone, you don't expect anything in return.
The first thing he caught when the class is dismissed is Stiles' smell. It's more bitter than usual and Derek knows something is wrong.
'Gregory broke up with me.' He says as soon is near Derek because Stiles knows that Derek knows something is off. 'And I'm hungry. I want ice cream.' He states petulantly but Derek can never say no.
They go get ice cream. The shop is empty when they arrive. Mostly because it's starting to freeze in New York but Derek doesn't care. He likes ice cream and he's a werewolf - cold is never a problem for him.
He picks vanilla and chocolate with sparkles because he's boring though Stiles doesn't say it anymore after their big fight last summer. Derek doesn't hold grudge. Stiles and he needed to find their boundaries. And not mocking every choice Derek makes was one of them. He knows deep down Stiles thinks it but he doesn't say it because even if it's a joke for him, he hurts Derek. And Stiles doesn't want to hurt him which makes him warm inside.
'I want blue moon please.' That is unlikely. They got sit to a table and Derek looks at Stiles' choice. 'What?' He says, raising an eyebrow. 'You don't like blue moon.' He answers. 'Well, I'm the guy with a broken heart. If I want blue moon, I'll eat blue moon.' He launches back easily, almost teasingly.
Derek knows there's more to it but doesn't push. They eat in silence for the first minutes until Stiles opens up in a nonchalant way.
'It's nice. Living the cliché for once.' Derek eats two more spoonful before asking: 'What cliché ?' Stiles shrugs.
'You know. The after break-up. Being genuinely upset about Gregory and eating a weird ice cream because I'm emotionally vulnerable and have the right to do weird things.' Derek doesn't comment about the fact Stiles does weird things. Everyday. 'Doing normal college student stuff.'
Derek smirks. 'Sorry. I thought you drunk dialing me after a fraternity party was the normal college experience.' 'Shut up.' Says Stiles, smiling though. Another minute of silence passes.
'I wasn't in love but he was normal like relationship. Mild-dramas and cheesy nights in. I'm not gonna miss him but I'll miss the easiness. So I guess he was right to break up with me but it was just... nice.'
Derek nods. He understands. He'd got that with Braeden. And a few girls and guys after because college is all about experimenting and you're often kissing a guy before even realizing you're doing it and liking it.
'I get why you enjoy it. I hope you didn't tell the guy you'll like dating him as much as living the breaking part though. I would understand why he broke up.'
Stiles laughs but it's shy and short live. He drops his head and eats distractedly more ice cream.
'No. Actually, it was because of you.' Derek almost chokes on the vanilla. 'Me?' He says trying to sound normal. He fails miserably.
'Yeah. Turns out it's hard to make your boyfriend believe you don't have a thing for you incredibly hot roommate when he has to be him who comes to get you after class for no serious reason.' Stiles shrugs like it's nothing but Derek knows they just put their feet in their mouths.
'We could have figured something.' Derek says without conviction. 'Yeah maybe but how do you explain why we sometimes sleep in each other beds? Or why I don't blink when I see you naked. Or how is it my dad loves you so much? That we can finish each other sentences? I can keep going on and on. Feel free to stop me anytime.'
Derek doesn't say anything. He knows what people think of them. Most of the time, Stiles and he act like a couple. Helping Stiles with his healing process took down all the walls between them. There are no shame or boundaries anymore. They understand each other perfectly because they both lived traumas that are alike.
But at one moment, it stopped being genuine for Derek. He fell hard for Stiles - maybe had already feelings for him. He's always wondered if Stiles feels the same thing or managed to stay in the friendship zone.
Right now, the way Stiles holds his eyes is burning him up alive. There is hunger in his expression and Derek wants to kiss him so badly. His gaze drops to his lips. 'You have blue moon there.' He notices, pointing a finger at his own mouth. Stiles darts his tongue but doesn't lick the ice cream.
'Why don't you take care of it? You always take such a good care of me Derek.' Says Stiles, seductively, never dropping his eyes.
Derek launches forward, grabs his face gently and finally kisses him like he dreamt to for months. Maybe years. It's sweet and passionate and a little clumsy maybe but it's all Derek ever wanted and right now, all he can see is blue. And Stiles.
+ 1. Electric blue
Derek is standing in front of a mirror, fixing the sleeves of his suit when the door opens and Stiles' head pops in. Derek's eyes zero on him and he takes him all in. The blush on his cheeks, the light in his eyes, the terrible way he did his hair.
'You're not supposed to see the groom before the ceremony.' He says dryly - with a nonchalance he doesn't feel because he's getting married. He forces himself to breath and returns his attention to his jacket. Looking at Stiles right now might give him the want to elope.
'Are you saying you're the bride?' He asks teasingly before jumping into the room over the little step. He closes the door and Derek notices he pushes the lock on.
'No. And no, I'm not having pre-wedding sex with you.' He adds, glaring. Stiles has that mischievous look on his face Derek's learnt to be wary of. 'Killjoy.' Pouts the younger man. But there is a genuine smile on his face and Derek also smells nerves on him.
He turns around and offers him a shy grin before noticing the way Stiles holds his hands. 'What are you hiding behind your back?' He asks with curiosity and Stiles shows him before Derek can try to sniff it.
It's flowers. Blue pansies. Two of them, laying carefully between his fingers. 'I was getting ready with Scott when I realize we didn't have something blue to finish the tradition thing-y.' He says, looking from the flowers to Derek with reverence. 'Is it why your hair look like hell?'
Stiles smiles sheepishly. 'Yeah. I wanted pansies. Blue pansies. And I forced Scott to take me to all the florists we could find as fast as possible.' Derek smirks. 'So what you're telling me is you almost missed our wedding for blue flowers and tradition?'
'Tradition it's important Derek. And like you said. Almost.' Derek feels his heart blow up in his chest. God, he loves his man so much. Derek crowds in Stiles' space, stroking his cheekbones with his thumbs. 'Is that so? I didn't even know we were doing it. I don't have anything old.' He whispers against his ear.
'Are you trying to turn me on? I thought you said no sex. Not cool man. And I'm the one who has the old thing. We're doing together duh. 'Cause it's a bride thing so we're brides together.'
Derek chuckles at Stiles' logic - it actually makes sense to him, it's how far is gone for him. He takes a step back but he keeps his hands on Stiles. 'Okay. Tell me.'
The younger man looks at him almost embarrassed. 'Well... I'm wearing my dad's suit when he married my mom. This is the old thing. You bought yours just for the occasion.' 'For our wedding.' Cuts Derek because he's never getting tired of telling it. Stiles smiles cheekily. 'Yes, for our wedding. So this is the new thing. Then, this morning, while you were taking a shower, I switched our underwear so we both have something borrowed.'
Derek stares at him blankly. 'You?' 'Didn't notice big guy?' Stiles mocks him. For his defense, Stiles and he almost wear the same underwear except for the batman fantasy ones Stiles loves so much. If there were not a sock situation, they would probably share a same drawer for their briefs and Stiles wouldn't be able to tell the difference either. But right now, mostly, Derek tries not to be too turned on.
'And now we have blue. Pansies. I like it. And it's not just the tradition. Blue is our color.' Stiles says with a gentle voice. He slides his hands in Derek's pocket, grapping his ass and making him gasp. 'It's when you first noticed me and the color of our first kiss and our first time and all the time after because you love leaving hickeys and bruises all over me.' 'I do.' Says Derek, pecking Stiles on the lips. He hums against his mouth and soon Derek opens his mouth and let Stiles kiss him thoroughly.
When they break apart, they're breathless but both smiling like idiots. Until a shadow appears on Stiles' face. 'What's wrong?' Derek ask, worry in his eyes. 'I just wanted something... Something for us. The wedding is great but Lydia might have been a little... Well, a little excited and now, it sounds like this big thing and... I just want you and our little bubble when you're all what's matter for me you know.'
There it is, Derek thinks. That darkness who never goes away and that Stiles only shows to him. 'Hey. It's okay. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I just want you. The rest doesn't matter. It's just the day and then, it's us forever. I love the flower. It's perfect.' Derek kisses him again, just a chaste touch of lips before taking one of the pansies and putting it on his suit. He does the same with Stiles, chases some wrinkles on his shoulders before taking his hand.
'Come on, we're going to be late at our own wedding.'
They walk the alley together. It was not the plan but Stiles and Derek are odd together and people stopped trying to understand them. The Sheriff looks at them proudly.
But all Derek sees is Stiles. The man he learnt to love and will never stop loving. He thinks about their history, all of the moments that push them here. When he says 'I do', his eyes are bright blue.