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And the Body Had a Mind of Its Own

Chapter Text

Ugh. That was the only thing Alex could think. Ugh.

It had been two whole months since her last period and that spelled o-l-d to her. At first she just thought it was ‘one of those things’ and then it happened again. She ignored it with determination. She and Matt were just settled, living together and happy at last now the press firestorm had blown over - this was not the time for him to be smacked in the face with the near 20 year age gap.

Twice though, she couldn’t ignore that.

Sighing at the prospect of telling him, she pictured a life of shrivelled-old-ladyness from here on out. About to go pick up the phone to make an appointment with her doctor she heard a clatter behind her and was shaken from her thoughts.

“Shit- ah,” Matt hopped backwards from the pile of scripts now on his foot, his head shot up as he ran his hand through his hair and looked at her, “I’ll pick it all up! Promise!”

Alex chuckled, murmuring a comment about giraffes and uncoordinated limbs. Sniffling a little and adding cold remedies to her mental list of things to sort.

“Hey! I hear that. Just because you mutter doesn’t mean I don’t hear it Kingston!” Matt’s pointing his finger at her waggling his eyebrows, “I won’t be having it - offending me and your beautiful self. You should know better.”

She smiles at his adorable little way of berating her, feigning innocence, “What did I do now?”

“‘Shrivelled-old-lady?!” His brow raised, looking at her pointedly.

Shit. She’d said that out loud. “Oh that was out loud was it? Anyway, you still look like a giraffe-“

Trying to distract Matt with another insult doesn’t work however, “You don’t think that do you?” He sounds hurt and seriously concerned as he moves towards her and takes her hands, “I know you doubt yourself and.. our age gap, sometimes. But I can tell you now- everytime I look at you I just see a radiant, beautiful woman whose every whim I wish to fulfill.”

Alex smiles at that, knowing that he’s starting to prat about again, “Don’t worry darling, you’ll never be out of work; I have plenty of whims.”

He grins back at her, “I know.” And with that Matt puts his arm around her waist, twirling her towards the kitchen, “Let’s get you some hot soup, sniffles.”


Pacing up and down at the end of the bed in their bedroom she was thinking who she could call. It was nothing really, she supposed, an eventuality all women face. Matt was out with some mates and although she knew he didn’t mind the age gap - she was still sure that something like this, when they’d only just cooled off from the press and moving and stress… well it would send him running wouldn’t it?

Pulling out her phone, mind set on who to call, she dials.


“Hi Karen,” it was insane really. But after everything with her and Matt’s relationship, the younger woman had become a close friend. Karen had found out about them a while ago and kept their secret.

In fact she’d been more than supportive - even covering for them a couple of times when people skirted close to discovering them. She was still young but Alex wanted an opinion from that perspective. As well as a girl to talk to. God knows her and Karen had shared more than a few intimate details of their lives over wine before, this wouldn’t be entirely out of the ordinary she guessed.

“Hey Alex,” she could feel Karen beaming down the line, chirpy as ever.

“How’re you doing? Just thought I’d call for a chat seeing as you haven’t been in the country lately for drinks!”

“I’m good, yeah. I’m sorry about that, I do miss you all. New York is sort of amazing though.” Karen always had loved the bright lights and busy streets, “You sound a little stuffy - is he not taking care of you?”

“Just a bit of a cold is all. I know you love it there, Matt’s moped in jealousy over it-” she hears a faint giggle on the other end, “But as soon as we’ve both got some time free we’re going to try and take Salome away somewhere so.. looking forward to it!”

“God yeah, that’d be so cool. You three are always so cute together,” Karen coos.

“Thanks,” Alex finds herself smiling at memories of Matt and Salome trampolining together the previous week, “It’s sometimes like having two kids - which I try not to think about too much.”

“Haha! Don’t be silly. Badger-boy’s gonna be a child when he’s eighty. Sometimes I think you focus farrr,” she rolls the arrr with a deep Scottish brogue, “Too much on the whole age thing. Honestly. No daughter of mine should concern herself with such trivial things - especially not when she looks like you!” Before Alex can say another word, Karen quickly adds, “You get that from me by the way, not Darvill. Ugh.”

Alex imagines the way Karen is no doubt screwing her face up right now at the mention of his name. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you- you know - properly. Do you have the time?”

“I always have the time for my baby!”

“Karen are you drunk?”

“No. God, just ‘cause I’m Scottish..”

Alex is chuckling again, she does love Karens’ madness, “Alright, sorry. You’re just laying the daughter thing on a bit thick today.”

“That’s because I haven’t seen you in years.”

“A month.”

“Long enough!”

“Depends on your point of view,” Alex emphasises the next word sweetly, “Mummy.”

“Oi. Enough cheek you.” There’s some background noise that Alex can’t quite distinguish before she speaks again, “So, I’m all alone in my nice swanky hotel room. Spill!”

“What?” Alex mumbles.

“You wanted to talk properly. Sounds like something’s burdening you, so tell me. I’m all ears!”

Deep breath. It was Alex’s choice to call her on this matter - she hoped it wouldn’t be too awkward but she was about to admit something deeply personal and aging to Karen. Here goes nothing.

“The thing is.. Well, you’re young-“

“So are you.”

“Right,” Alex rolls her eyes, “See, I have this friend-“


“And she’s going through… you know… the change,” she nearly whispers the last two words, “But she doesn’t want her… lover to see her as an old woman.”

“Riiight- so you should just tell him.”

Alex is blushing bright red. She knew it was transparent but she’d still appreciate if Karen at least pretended to go along with the ruse.

“Matt won’t care. He loves you, Alex. Won’t he have figured it out anyways? Y’know the hot flushes, the moodiness the err… uninterrupted sex life.” Karen clearly doesn’t wish to imagine Matt in such a situation. “Have you been to the doctors? I mean are you sure? ‘Cause my mum was pretty horrendous to be around at that time and you’re still lovely..”

“Cheers Karen. I just.. we’re just sorted, after the last upheaval and I’m not ready to give him that wake up call. I thought you might be able to.. give me some insight. Or something. I’m not quite sure actually. I just needed to talk.” Alex has her hand on her head like it will protect her from the embarrassment she feels, even if her conversational partner is a few thousand miles away.

“Yeah, I get that. Like that time I called you up to tell you about Serge the man-“

“From the hotel who gave you full room service. Can’t forget that tale in a hurry dear.”

“Anyways, are you really sure? I mean - how’d you know?”

Waiting for the ground to swallow her up clearly isn’t going to work, and now she’s shared it with Karen, Karen isn’t going to spare details. In for a penny in for a pound, “I’m late. By two months. Think that says it all really.”

There’s a contemplative hum from Karen, “Well - yeah, forget me, see your doctor. I mean, whether you go or not, something’s still going to happen, so not seeing him won’t de-”

Something? Like it could be something actually wrong? I’d never even thought of that, Karen.” Alex tangles her hand in her hair, worrying it between her fingers as a form of stress relief.

With a flustered voice full of guilt, “No! God, noo! Sorry, didn’t mean to worry you. No, I’m just saying whether you go see a doctor or not, things aren’t gonna stop, so - honestly, quit worrying, Matt’s totally ready for this. It’s nothing.”

Getting the feeling that she’s banging her head against a brick wall and that Karen may be less than sober (and a liar), Alex persists, “I just don’t want to scare him this quick. We’re settled- for the first time.”

“Stop bloody panicking. Seerious-ly Alexandra. He’s... oh god I’m dead-”

“Karen? What is it?” Alex asks, getting a little worried.

“I never told you this okay, in fact, never mention it because he’ll know where you got it from-”

“What did he say Karen?” Chewing on her thumbnail now.

“I was worried... about you. That he wasn’t thinking it all through. About a year ago, I sorta confronted him-”


“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, before I had chance to ask too many questions he pretty much silenced me and went on a rant. He said a lot of things and I can’t remember it all, but I do remember, clearly, that he said he had thought it through. That he wanted to be there when you were ill and stuff and for Salome too and he was sort of exasperated, and blew up at me; which was totally justified, not that I’ll admit it.”

“That’s lovely but, it’s not quite-”

“He said that he had thought about the age gap and he still didn’t care, even if you were flipping out at him and menopausal, he’d still wanna come home to you, and I quote, ‘I’d fetch her bloody hormones if she wanted me to’. Not entirely sure what that meant but the sentiment’s kinda there right?” The words tumble out in a chain and Alex is stunned.

“You’re making it up-”

“Honest to god, Alex, he said that. Even I was surprised he’d thought that far.”

“I-” she swallows, sitting on the edge of the bed, before rolling onto her stomach to clutch at a pillow, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Well, I say see a doctor.” Karen apparently thinks again, “And don’t worry about talking to stupid face, he’ll be fine.”

“Yes, I - I suppose. Thanks Karen.”

“No problemo. Now, now that you’re over your little hiccup-” Alex rolls her eyes, little hiccup indeed, “Do you want to hear about these shoes I just bought, because they hurt like bloody hell but they are so beautiful.”

“Go ahead then, dear.”

So Alex spends the next twenty minutes listening to Karen’s gossip on shoes and then debating which types of shoes are best and how much is too much to spend on them, before sharing a few jokes and their goodbyes and hanging up.  Now laid on the bed she rolls over, oddly uncomfortable, to lie on her back - hand resting on her stomach -  Alex stares at the ceiling and sighs. What was she going to do?

Her hand strokes mindlessly at her stomach and she is spurred into action by the soft roundness of her abdomen, she contemplates the extra time she’ll have to put in at the gym to keep herself how she likes. How Matt had started to like her, when they began their relationship. Reaching over for the phone, she refuses to get up in her moody state and makes a call to her doctor for an appointment. One way or another, she will sort things.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Alex wakes to Matt pressed tight to her back, spooning her and nuzzling her hair in his sleep. With his arms clinging tight around her waist, she feels safe and smiles at the situation, happy that they’d made it here. She could also feel a distinct hardness pressed against her bum and it makes her shiver.

That is the moment that she notices a distinct wetness between her thighs and she remembers... oh. He’d just had her at his mercy in her dream. Somewhere she quite liked being, considering his mercy meant spread out in front of the fire, while he held her legs open to mercilessly taste every inch of her intimacy with his tongue. Yes, it had been a beautifully vivid dream. Strangely so. Maybe it was the hormones. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if she was just desperately wanton all the time.

Arching backwards into the hardness, she heard a gasp by her ear and Matt’s gentle snoring stop with a quiet hum of arousal. She knew that noise well.

“Good morning,” Matt grinds his hips into her to emphasise his greeting.

It sends thrills straight down her spine and she automatically grinds harder into him, groaning in frustration as her hand reaches behind her to grab onto his head and bring him close to her neck. Matt, apparently, is enjoying the unexpectedly horny Alex first thing in the morning, and strokes a hand down her side, lightly dragging his nails over the curves of her waist and hip, making her shiver and moan. His lips gently kiss the juncture where shoulder meets neck, before grazing it with his teeth and Alex writhes in his embrace.

“God, honey, please-”

“My, someone’s had dirty dreams,” Matt gently teases by her ear in a low voice, nearing a growl. Propping himself up behind her on his hand, he observes her reactions. Her hands gripping the pillow and whatever she can grasp of him as he gently scratches at her, before taking his hand up to graze the side of her breast and she twists at the waist to fill his hand with a soft and full breast. “Christ, Lex, what was I doing in your dream?”

He leans forwards and presses a gentle kiss to the peak, Alex merely whinges slightly dis-satisfactorily and presses her flesh into his hand. Matt raises his brows and smirks before licking roughly at her nipple. It causes a delightful tremor down her body and so he suckles it lightly before dragging his teeth over it. Alex she suddenly stiffens, “Ow!”

“Mm? Are you alright?” Matt immediately moves away and his hands tenderly go to her waist, enquiring about the sudden change in reactions.

“Yeah, sorry.” She blushes and makes eye contact with him for the first time that morning.

“Was I a bit too harsh?” His face is so openly apologetic, it breaks her heart a little.

Alex reaches up and strokes the side of his face, squirming to roll over and face him, “Hmm, guess I’m just feeling a little sensitive.”

He strokes down her bare spine with one hand and pulls her into him in a hug, “Alright, love. Time of the month, eh?”

It’s the perfect opportunity. Alex blushes hard and Matt misinterprets it as she buries her face in his chest, “It’s okay. Alex, I really don’t care.”


“Don’t be all shy, Kingston. Of all things for you to blush at around me, this cannot be one of them.” He laughs to ease the tension and caresses the small of her back, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Alex chuckles humourlessly and presses kisses across his chest in an attempt to change the mood and move on - now was not the moment to kill with her ‘news’. The mood she felt so strongly is quickly dissipating and Matt can sense her almost forcing them to progress. Shoving her gently to the side, he plants soft, tender kisses to her lips, each becoming more welcoming and passionate. Alex responds well to this and is soon tracing his lower lip with her tongue, gaining permission to continue. Matt’s tongue moves smoothly alongside hers with practiced ease, licking at the roof of her mouth and Alex whimpers below him, hands threading into his hair.

Taking a chance on her mood having swung in his favour, Matt walks his fingers down her soft stomach- not an easy task considering she squirms under him as he goes from sternum to pubic bone. One finger travels through a small tuft of hair and reaches her clit, giving a gentle tap.

Alex’s jaw drops and she bucks, giving a, “Uhh.” Followed by breathy moans. This must be a good sign and his fingers slip further down, through her wetness to tease at her lips. Alex doesn’t really recover from the initial bucking and moaning, Matt’s ministrations ensure that it’s kept up if anything.

His fingers are only just skating over her entrance, her slick folds hot and wet under his touch, when her back arches. With her head pressing deep into the pillow, he watches her stomach quiver, legs shaking, “Mah-tt.” and she falls limp in his hands. His fingers are drenched in wetness and Alex pants heavily, with her eyes screwed shut.

“Did you just...” Matt starts unsurely, surprised that Alex had apparently reached climax, so, well - easily.

“Mmm.” She hums luxuriously, breathing still ragged and face utterly relaxed. Coming to her senses a little, she too starts to appear a little shocked, “Wow.”

Matt grins broadly down at her, “Pretty intense dreaming, huh?”

Her face flushes pink and he knows he’s right. He has seen her - no - heard her have a sex dream before; it’s just never had such explosive results.
“Very realistic, but not nearly as satisfying.”

“Evidently,” Matt kisses her cheek, pulling a smug face, “Damn, I’m good.”

Observing her get her breath back and start moving her limbs of her own accord, Matt develops a goofy grin; masculine pride evident in his features.

“Oh, darling,” Alex pulls a sympathetic face at him, as she sits up, hands on his shoulders to maneuver him back into the mattress, “I simply have to wipe that smug smile off now, don’t I?”

With that, she’s straddling his thighs, his hands going to her hips and fingers stroking at the crease of her thigh. Alex gave him a look, meaning she had something up her sleeve and Matt knew better than to interrupt. His hands loosen a little on her and she slithers out of his grasp, on all fours, the duvet travelling with her, hooked over her deliciously curvy bum.

She sees him watching the sway of her breasts through glazed eyes and keeps staring at him as she lowers herself a little, letting them brush over the bulge in his boxers. Matt’s breathing becomes a little more ragged and his hands clench into fists, resisting the urge to try directing her. Alex lets her nails drag over his hipbones (a particularly sensitive spot) and pulls his boxers down, smirking as his erection bobs out of its constraints, and looks up at Matt again.

Once she’s sure that he’s looking at her, she leans forward to lick a stripe up the underside of his cock, from base to tip, and her hands fly to his hips as they buck - nearly pushing himself into her mouth.

“God, Alexxx-” her name is a hiss from between clenched jaws.

She merely hums before taking him between her lips and laving at that sweet spot, just beneath the head, producing yet more hissing from Matt -whose hands now clench the sheets beneath him. Alex lets him enter her mouth, until he’s just about to hit her throat and then she trails her teeth back up over him, exposing him to the cool air. He pops from her lips and she blows cool air over him, having to be a little more forceful with how she’s holding him down now.

“Please -’Lex, more,” he trails off while trying to regulate his breathing.

“Patience.” Alex purrs as she kisses at the crease of his thigh, trailing her tongue down the inside of it and back up.

She spends the next few moments kissing and nipping on the insides of his thighs, before heading closer towards the apex, until her tongue meets his balls. Gently, she kisses the sack, occasionally (and delicately) applying teeth strategically. One of her hands moves from his hip to grasp him, while Matt makes ever more desperate noises and pleas.

Suckling on him quickly, she moves up to have mercy and takes him into her mouth once more. This time, she means business. With one hand wrapped around the base, she envelopes his head between her lips and sucks - harshly.

“Jesus, fuck- Al- ahh...” is all that he says before trailing back into incoherency.

Starting up a rhythm she twists her wrist just so, applying pressure, while taking him repeatedly into her mouth, letting her hand take the rest of him. Now and again she’ll suck a little harder, or lap at the underside of his cock. His hips begin to buck uncontrollably as he feels a burning fire in his stomach, coiling up and ready to release.

Giving up attempts to hold him down, the hand leaves Matt’s hip and teases his testicles, while she relentlessly continued with her pattern of bobbing with his thrusts, squeezing, licking and twisting. Matt was sure it was some kind of otherworldly skill, the way she kept on top of so many things at once. One of his hands threads into her hair and tugs on her hair a little, the pressure causing a beautiful pleasure/pain for Alex and sending shivers down her spine - making her hum around him.

That was enough to send him reeling and he fought to get a warning out in time, “I’m -ah fuck- gonna-”

A sharp suck with a few quick pumps of the wrist and Alex was swallowing his climax as he saw stars.

She watches with rapt attention as his breathing stutters, hands loosening, allowing her to move back up him. When he opens his eyes, she’s above him, beautiful full breasts straight in his eyeline, still straddling his recovering body. Alex smiles coquettishly at him, before a laugh bubbles out of her and sets him off too.

“Good morning,” he pants.

“Definitely,” she agrees.


Matt had gone to get some breakfast, offering to cook her something too, so Alex took herself to the bathroom to have a quick shower. Waiting for the water to warm up, the robe she put on to keep warm (under Matt’s insistence) falls to the floor. As she tests the water with a hand, her eye catches the mirror in the corner and she has to double take.

Her free hand goes to her stomach and smoothes down to her hip. While she knew she wouldn’t keep a flat stomach forever, she wasn’t quite prepared to face it now. Twisting towards the mirror and shaking the water off her hand and oh god.

And look! Staring in horror at the way her thighs were moving as she did. Most definitely not right.

It is nothing really, but she has always been able to see some subtle definition there when she moves, just a hint of muscle - she had liked it. Now she was looking... soft? With the dreadful feeling that her age has finally crept up on her, she climbs into the shower and washes the thoughts away with the dirt.

When she climbs out fifteen minutes later, she can hear Matt’s singing coming from the kitchen and laughs. Towelling the majority of the moisture out of her hair, she wraps a towel around herself and traipses down the stairs into the kitchen. Matt looks up at her and swallows, like he’s never seen her before, a look she actually sees on him quite frequently, come to think of it.

“Scrambled egg? On toast?” he offers a little lamely, barely recovering from his blatant gawping.

Chuckling lightly, “Sounds lovely, dear.”

She settles herself into a chair next to the table, watching him hovering over the stove with his ruffled hair and stubble wearing a pair of wonderfully tight boxer shorts. It sends tingles down her spine all over again.

Matt catches her eye, looking down himself and humming in approval, before he winks and plates up the eggs as the toast pops up. Alex gets up to butter the toast while he turns off the stove and takes the pans to the sink, within moments, they sit, digging in to a much needed breakfast; considering their wake up calls that morning.

Between mouthfuls, Matt manages to get a word in, “Up to anything today?”

She swallows and licks her lips, considering her answer before deciding to tell him, “Doctor’s appointment, then I have a skype date with Salome later.”

Matt bounces in his seat a little, perking up, “Could I impose a little?”

“Not at all, darling. You’re welcome to join - she misses you.” Alex continues to eat her breakfast.

“Goody. And I’m glad you’re going to the doctors, you’ve been a sniffy lump for ages,” he looks at her pointedly before going back to his own breakfast.

Alex nearly chokes on her food, of course he thought she was going for the cold and headaches she’d been putting up with for nearly two months.

“‘M’not a sniffy lump, Matthew.”

He snorts a little before they continue eating in companionable silence, but inside her head Alex is having a full blown debate about what he thinks is going on and what’s actually going on, whether she should tell him. Lying is bad isn’t it? It’s not really lying though. More omitting the truth. Until she knows for sure. Which she pretty much does anyway. But she’s willing to hang it on a little longer before telling him.

Matt finishes up his breakfast and is taking his plate away when she passes him hers and he raises an eyebrow, “Are you on a diet or something?”

“Wouldn’t hurt would it?” Before he has time to protest she quickly adds, “Don’t feel like eating much anyway, darling.”

He shakes his head but takes it anyway. Soon after that he’s heading out to a meeting - she waves him off from the doorway like the domestic girlfriend she can be, and goes to get ready for her own trip out. What fun.


Alex sighs as she switches off her engine in the carpark and goes inside, she really wasn’t looking forward to this. Infact, she was beginning to wonder if she’d lost it - did she really have to have someone tell her? She knew she just had to face the ugly truth. She sits patiently in the waiting room until her name is called just a few moments later and walks through to her doctor, here goes nothing.

Chapter Text

When Matt returns home that evening he see’s Alex’s shoes by the door and handbag on the floor, but other than that, there’s no signs of life. She normally has the TV on or music playing, occasionally he catches her singing, but not tonight. Heading to the kitchen to grab a drink, he shouts, “Honey, I’m-”

The words die in his mouth as he enters the kitchen and his eyes fall on Alex.

She sits cross legged on a chair pulled up to the table, bar of chocolate and an empty mug before her, face streaked with greyed trails of tears. Seeing him, she wipes at her face and smiles. “H-Hello, love.”

Her voice is warm but she can still hear it shaking and knows he must be worried. Truth be told, so is she. She reaches her hand out and Matt hurries over to sit beside her, pulling her into his chest and smoothing her hair. Tightly gripping his hand, she realises that she can’t say it. Alex physically cannot speak.

He is so young and has so much yet to do, a whole life of experiences that she’s already lived. She’d do them all again with him in a heartbeat, but she has her ties and he does not - she is his only one. Can she really do this to him?

She’s being rocked and he’s murmuring into her hair, god knows what he must think but she knows she can’t say it now. Not this moment.

“What’s up, sweetheart? Ay? Come on, talk to me, love.” Matt lets out a constant stream of reassurances, trying to get her to calm and talk to him. Alex can’t really see herself calming down an awful lot, she needs some room to get her head together. This is so far from ‘the plan’ she doesn’t know where to begin.

“I’m o-kay,” she chokes out and it doesn’t even convince her so it definitely won’t be doing so to him.

Alex hears him chuckle humourlessly and he continues to rock her for a few more minutes, which she’s glad of - even if she can’t tell him and feels awful about it, she can find solace in his embrace. Settling down a little, she sniffles against him and composes herself, pushing her thoughts aside and wiping up her tears. When she pulls away and looks up, Matt’s eyes are full of concern with his hand still stroking at her arm, squeezing affectionately.

Opening his mouth her speak, Alex quickly cuts him off, pretending not to realise, “I should go get my laptop; Salome will be calling soon.” She gives him a reassuring smile, before getting up - only to be pulled down into his lap, arms wrapped around her waist. Wriggling pathetically, she slapped at his hands, “Let me go, Matthew, I’ll be late!”

“What’s wrong? What happened?” He murmurs in her ear, giving it a gentle kiss, still full of concern.

“Nothing, just upset is all. You know it’s not a first,” she’s desperately trying to think of a reason to give him, but there isn’t one forthcoming.

He sighs, placing a kiss in her hair, “Yes, but when you’re upset it’s not normally this bad unless there’s a reason- wait, was everything okay this morning?” Suddenly sounding serious, arms tightening around her.


“The doctors, what happened?”

Oh. “Nothing, just.. um, a bit of a cold is all.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m the picture of health.” Alex continues wiggling against him, pulling at his hands playfully so as not to upset him further, “I’m going to be late and little miss will blame you-”

“You’re still crying.”

“No, just runny eyes - cold remember?” She smiles weakly and her eyes blur up again, “Let me go, Matt.”

He looks into her eyes, searching for answers, “Tell me what’s wrong, whatever it is, it’s okay. I promise.”

“There’s nothing, let me go.”

“Alex, you’re crying and I found you in pieces in the kitchen, it took ten minutes for you to stop crying, what is it?”


“You’re lying,” his tone is more factual than accusing, but he sounds irritated and she can’t blame him. She’s being deceptive and there’s no good reason that she can give him, well, not that she’s ready to just yet.

Glancing at the clock, she sees Salome will have already started calling and pulls on his hands, standing, but Matt’s still pulling on her and she shoves him off forcefully, “She’ll be calling me.”

“Alex, speak..” His hands go for her again, more frustrated this time.

“Matthew, stop it!” She slaps his hand on her hip as she moves away, she really feels sorry for what she’s done to him, he must feel awful, but her heart is pulling on her to get to Salome. Matt  is lost, feeling as though she doesn’t trust him entirely doesn’t know why. It’s frustrating because he spent a good part of their first year together convincing her they were equals and age, among other factors, was inconsequential.

His eyes darken and he drops his elbows to the table, looking ahead and lacing his fingers, twitching. Voice barely a whisper, he sounds like a dejected child, “Okay.”

Her heart drops, but she misses her daughter greatly and her problems with Matthew cannot be solved now, she needs time. Besides, she thought that he’d understood how much the calls meant to her, he’s normally the one fetching the laptop and beaming down the camera waving enthusiastically. Obviously, he didn’t understand that much if he was willing to be awkward with her when she was upset and late for a call.

With a slight sense of remorse, she trails into the lounge and gets out her laptop, switching it on quickly so Salome doesn’t worry or think she’s forgotten about her. She could never do that. Safely locking the days happenings in the back of her mind, she sits cross legged on a cushion on the floor, laptop on the coffee table before her and plasters on her best mummy smile, greeting her little girl. A few minutes into conversation, she hears Matt leave the kitchen and go upstairs, steps a little heavier than usual.


Salome had temporarily taken her mind away from her troubles and she felt a little lighter hearted, hearing about her little girls day and what she had planned for the week. She closed the call with a smile, rubbing her hand over her face and sighing - Matt would have cooled off by now, hopefully and she could try and forget for a bit longer, until he went to work tomorrow and she could be by herself in her thoughts again. Stretching, she gets up to make cup of tea and watch some TV, something less demanding than the dilemma going on in her head.

Boiling the water and adding a teabag to a cup, she can hear movement upstairs. He was probably digging through scripts. Pouring out the water and stirring, she puts the teabag in the bin, stirs in milk and sets off down the hall back to the front room, Matt’s noises were coming from the upstairs hall, heading towards the back bedroom - he’d been playing on his guitar then she guesses. Alex grabs a blanket and curls up on the end of the sofa, legs beneath her, leaning on the arm rest, blanket pulled tightly around her.

Blowing cool air across her tea she channel hops before settling on some sort of documentary about how monkey helpers are trained. Seeing the little animals so attentive and learning is amusing and her mind is soon focussed on the television instead of her own internal struggles. Watching as a monkey turns pages in a book for a quadriplegic woman to read, it makes her smile.

Just then, Matt opens the door and mooches in, flopping down beside her, arms stretching across the back of the sofa. Damn. He’s still on edge. Crossing a leg, he slips a sideways glance at her, “What is this... monkeys?”

He’s trying to move on then, that’s good at least, “Helper monkeys. It’s quite sweet.”

Alex keeps her eyes on the screen but sees him give a little smile, apprehensively.

“How’s Salome?” There’s serious concern in his voice there.

“Good. Non-stop as ever. She left me a message for you.”

“Oh?” A definite note of excitement.

“Stop being mardy and come talk to her next time, she misses you.”

Matt’s arms drop from the sofa and he stares at her, “Mardy? Wait, did you tell her I was mardy? Christ, Alex, I miss her too. Like she’s, y’know,” A faint blush tints his cheeks, averting his gaze, “Like she’s mine.”

She knows. Of course she knows.They wouldn’t be here unless he did. But nonetheless her eyes are tearing up, blinking furiously to prevent them falling, bloody stupid hormones. Matt’s hand strokes her arm before he tries pulling her into him, if she lets him though, she’ll sob her heart out and she can’t do that again. With a sniffle, she shrugs him off and wipes at her eyes. His hand flies back, as if burned, “What is this about? You’re keeping something from me, Alex. I feel like I’ve done something or-”

“It takes two.” She bites out before she can stop herself, and for a second she panics, but of course, he doesn’t know.

His expression is shocked before his eyes set, quick to temper, “Do I get to find out what it is I’ve done then?”


“Funny thing is, I don’t believe you.”

“Believe what you like.” Alex feels anger surge through her, the first time she’s ever gotten so mad at him. All she wants is space to wallow in her feelings and wrap her head around this - if there was just a way she could without annoying him in the process.

His eyes narrow and he huffs, “I don’t know what it is, I don’t know why you won’t talk.” His hands rub at his thighs in irritation, trying to occupy his hands, unleash some adrenaline. Slapping at his leg, he jerks up off the sofa, looking a little remorseful he speaks quietly, “I need some air.”

Alex doesn’t want him to go and she does. It feels wrong, it’s not them but they both clearly need the space and maybe she can wrap her head around it all. She watches as he goes into the hall, hearing him pick up a coat and shoes. Heart sinking into her stomach, she blinks to stop tears falling and stares at the TV blankly, barely registering when he pops his head in and says a quick, “Bye.”

Even arguing they can’t be that harsh.

Chapter Text

Matt scuffs his boots along the pavement, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and walks aimlessly. They’ve never really riled each other that much, on the whole it’s probably not even a  blip - but the way they always get on, never anger at each other, it feels bigger. After about 10 minutes of wandering, he finds his feet dragging him in the direction of Karen’s flat, wondering if she’s back from New York. She knew the pair of them well enough to let him go dump some of his troubles on her, if he was lucky, maybe she knew what was up too...

At the end of Karen’s road, he takes a breath, refreshing himself before he goes to whine on Karen - not that she’ll mind, it’s the sort of thing they did to each other. He rings the bell and waits, rocking on his heels at the buildings door, without a word he’s buzzed up. Making it up the stairs to her door, he finds it open and calls out her name as he lets himself in, toeing off his shoes (he’d learned that the hard way).

“To what do I owe the disturbance?” Karen speaks from the doorway to the lounge, she’s barefoot and dressed in a tight fitting black skirt with an oversized shirt on. Looking at her, Matt sees no makeup and her hair’s just tied back, so he can’t be disturbing much, she’s nothing if not a stickler for her looks. Matt ruffles the mess of hair atop her head, sticking his tongue out at her and walking past to flop on her sofa.

“What, no offer of a beer? Cup of tea at least, Kaz? Your hosting skills are shit.” His teasing is all there verbally, but it lacks heart, his voice falling flat.

Looking him over, she sees he looks worn - something she’s familiar with after three years together in each others faces. “Smithington?”


She cringes, darting out to door to return with an opened bottle of beer. Holding it out to him, she flops onto the sofa, hugging her legs and resting her chin on her knees she regards him. “What is it? I can see you brooding.” Matt sips at the beer and raises an inquisitive brow, naivety is not his strong suit however, “What’s on your mind?”

“How was New York?”



She huffs at him, blowing her fringe out of her eyes and playing his game, “New York was spectacular as ever. You, however, look like you just got kicked in the arse.”

“Just Alex, it’s nothing, just... a...” the words fail him as he realises that he has no idea what has occurred between them, just that she’s keeping something from him. “I’m not sure.”

Karen’s face is a picture of horror, “Tell me you didn’t walk out.”

“What? No, not really...”

“Oh my god, Matthew!” She whacks him on the arm.

Utterly confused about why he’s getting hit, his reply is a few octaves higher and a little more agitated than he wants, “Why’d you presume it’s me?!”

Karen’s face goes from disbelief and annoyance to confusion and softens with understanding, “What’s gone on with you two then?”

“What do you think?” He watches her carefully, she chews on her lip, like she’s holding back and he wonders if maybe the world just isn’t letting him in on something, lowly, “You know, don’t you?”

Her eyes fly across the room before settling on him, an attempt to be inconspicuous that is entirely incriminating, “Well, y’know, she called me to ask for some help.” Karen’s fidgeting, feeling terrible for keeping something from Matt and no doubt for talking about a personal issue of Alex’s.

“Help with what?”

Her eyes widen, looking over him properly, dawning realisation painting her face, “Telling you!” Her Scottish brogue coming out in full force as she delivers another whack to his arm, “I told her you’d be alright, and I really thought you would. I cannot believe you’ve walked out. You don’t deserve her do you know that?”

Matt is completely lost, now knowing that there is something that he doesn’t know and wondering why he hasn’t been told. He turns and looks her full in the eye, putting the beer on the coffee table tone deadly serious, “I know I don’t deserve her. But Kaz, seriously, please - she won’t tell me anything, she’s upset and I don’t know why. What is it?”

She just sits and fidgets with the pillow in her lap, chewing over the moral dilemma on her hands.

“Please, Kaz. I’m worried now, what’s going on?” His tone is a little upset and desperate and if he lays it on a bit thicker to blackmail her into telling him... well given the circumstances, he thinks he’s entirely justified.

Evidently, his emotional blackmail works as she murmurs defeatedly, “She’s going through the change.”

He’s even more puzzled now, “What?”

She sighs and his lack of knowledge bolsters her confidence, “The change, Matthew.-”

Oh.” Matt looks slaw jawed and dumbfounded. Why hadn’t she just said? He wasn’t able to quite take it in, it didn’t seem to fit. She’d been so upset and irrational - maybe it was hormonal? Now, he had answers but he wasn’t sure that they made the picture any clearer. Either way, he felt terrible for walking out, she obviously had the wrong idea about how he’d take it and how he was currently acting would just reinforce it.

Karen rubs at her cheek nervously, not entirely comfortable with this type of conversation with her best male friend. It was his relationship and Alex’s personal problem, hopefully Alex wouldn’t be too mad that Karen had told him.


“I’m an idiot-”

“I’ve been saying for years.”

“Cheers Kaz.” He pauses thoughtfully, “So, do you know exactly... why she’s so upset?”

Flinching in preparation for another smack for being an oblivious moron, he relaxes when she just starts talking with a shrug of her shoulders. “She doesn’t want to remind you how old she is.”

“Stupid, bloody, daft woman. I don’t care - didn’t I make it clear?”

“To me, yes. But for some reason, she really loves you, so what you think about her matters.”

Matt scrubs a hand over his face, deciding that he should get home soon, maybe with some flowers or chocolate and an apology. He sips his beer pensively and Karen prods his thigh with a bare toe. Smirking at her, he decides he may as well make the most of his visit before he leaves, “How was New York then?”

They spent another hour chatting about her filming and how much he missed her on set, before they hit a lull in conversation and he made to leave, Karen’s words sharp in his ear about making it up to Alex. Sometimes he wonders if she takes her role too seriously, mothering Alex. Matt’s glad though, because she needs people to look out for her sometimes - when he’s the one who’s not taking note.


When he leaves, she makes it to the end of the documentary before sliding from the sofa to grab her laptop. This is going to require some serious research, she just hopes that when she does tell him it’s not going to cause too much upset. He can’t leave - at least she hopes not - but if he did, it wouldn’t be the first time she’d been walked out on would it? Right now, she needs him more than ever, to love her and support her. But what if he stays out of pity? Oh god.

Stop it, Alex. Research.


Chapter Text

Hearing a key in the lock, Alex glances at the clock in the corner of her laptop screen - two and a half hours, that’s all he’d been. She quickly exits all the windows she has open, after about twenty minutes of moping she’d decided to do some research of her own online. Add to the facts so she didn’t feel so lost, while it had sunk in a little more she couldn’t help feeling that bit more terrified. It was not the time to be telling him.

She opens an online jewellers she’d been looking at the other night in hope of a birthday gift for Matt. When the footsteps she heard stop, she looks up wondering where he could be. There he is, in the doorway, looking like a remorseful puppy that’s chewed her best shoes. Feeling her heart melt in her chest, she smiles, glad he’s back and not still angry. Matt walks towards her, pulling a small box from behind him and holding it out to her, sliding onto the floor next to her leant against the sofa.

“Chocolates?” She raises her brow, snuggling into him a little.

“I like to treat my lady well.” His voice sorrowful when he adds, “Especially when I’ve been an idiot.”

Alex’s brow creases, why had he been an idiot? They had a bit of a battle of wills and he’d just gone for a walk...

Matt sees her confusion and puts his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him properly, “You can tell me anything, y’know, and I’ll never judge,” murmuring his words into her hair with a kiss. His eyes catch sight on the laptop screen and his breath catches, “Obviously you weren’t too mad at me though...”

It’s not entirely his judging that she’s worrying about, but she stays snuggled in his chest, happy for the moment. If they can just stay on the right path while she figures it out, she might hold it together. Looking up at the coffee table, she too registers her laptop screen - the jewellers website - in her haste, she’d clicked a link though, and now they were both sat cuddling, observing a page full of engagement rings. Her heart lurches into her throat, it was not the message she wanted to send.

“I wasn’t - the mouse must’ve moved, I jumped when you came in, it must have clicked-”

He’s laughing beneath her cheek, replying sarcastically, “Sure, sure.”

Whining in the back of her throat, she doesn’t know what to say because they’d sort of discussed the whole marriage thing and were happier to just commit to each other in their own way. Lightly, she thumps his chest with her hand. At least he’s joking anyway. Picking up her small box of chocolates she ponders aloud, “What are these in order for, hmm?”

Matt’s arms encircle her, he’d already decided not to give up the game and let her deal with it in her own time. “Because I walked out and I should never do that. You deserve better.”

She supposes it’s all her fault really, for not telling him and for getting into such a state in front of him. Planting a kiss to his jaw, she takes a chocolate and pushes it against his lips, feeding him, “I’ve got more than I deserve right here.” Laughing as his tongue laps at her finger when he takes the chocolate. He cuddles her tight to him and Alex lets out a sigh of relief, if he’d let go of his edge then she could think more clearly when she had some time now.

It’s been quite the day, a rollercoaster of emotions for Alex and as night started drawing in, her breathing got deeper - they were still sprawled on the floor, leant against the sofa, head on Matt’s chest. He was commandeering the laptop to check his emails and check football scores, happy to reach around her to press buttons. A feeling of contentment washed over her, it is handleable for the moment, not the bigger picture but she can handle this bit.

Dozing when Matt gently shakes her shoulder, whispering above her, “Love? You want to go to bed?” It takes a moment for the words to register, she’s feeling very sleepy and worn out, she pushes aside a thought of why and hums, stretching against him sleepily.

“‘M tired.” She feels a chuckle rumble in his chest, under her ear.

“I mean to sleep.” But all he gets in response is another hum. She feels his arms move around her, sighing into her ear and pressing a kiss there, suddenly she had another arm looped under her legs and he was lifting her up.

“Matt...” Scared for him dropping her, but too drowsy to fully wake up and protest. It isn’t the first time that he’s picked her up, but it still worries her, sometimes he can barely manage on his own feet without her extra weight.

He jiggles her a little in his arms and sets off for the stairs, “Will you ever trust me with this, my darling girlfriend?” Face cringing as he speaks.

Alex snuggles into his chest a bit more, wrapping an arm around his neck, “I know your coordination issues, darling.”

“Ah, the faith is reassuring,” he begins sarcastically, concentrating on getting up the stairs, at the top he takes them near a light switch and nudges her to flick it on - which she does. “Here you are, my dear.” Voice heavy with sarcasm, as he bows to drop her onto the bed, she laughs a little, rolling in the covers.

“While you gather your limbs, I’m using the bathroom, ‘kay?” With that he’s out the door.

Sighing and straightening on the bed Alex attempts to remove her clothes without getting up. Laid on her back she lifts her hips to try and shove her skirt off, looking down herself her breath catches - her stomach curves. It’s the tiniest thing, but when she hears Matt coming back down the hall to the room she throws the skirt from her, off the bed and rolls on her side. As he enters the room he pauses to pull the duvet over her, just in her underwear and t-shirt.

Alex gives in, losing the will with her own broken dignity on her body's betrayal, allows the tiredness to take over and shuts her eyes. The bed dips behind her as Matt climbs in the other side, she hears the ruffle of pages and gathers that he’s reading. Tucking the pillow under her head more comfortably, Alex settles in for the night.


With Matt on the press trail, Alex finds herself with a few hours each day to console herself and answer some of her own questions. She’s going to have to tell him and soon, but these days are helping her. At night when he comes home, he’s always considerate. Matt is never questioning when her vision clouds with tears because she can’t find the car keys or burns the toast. He never even says a word when she snaps at him because he didn’t answer the phone fast enough - it had rung three times and the noise made her brain jangle. Just a simple peck on the cheek when she turned down his advances.

Alex feels terrible about it really - he must be trying to keep the peace and apologise for walking out, though she feels like it should have been her doing the apologising.


Five days after the crying incident, five days of walking on eggshells, he thinks she may never tell him what’s going on with her. Every time she gets moody or upset he just smoothes over it being a little delicate but carrying on as normal. She wants to know how he feels - he’ll show her; nothing has changed. But it’s nagging at him, in the corner of his mind, something feels off. Matt just can’t imagine that Karen has told him the whole story... then again, maybe Karen doesn’t know it... or is covering for Alex. He really has to stop thinking.

Friday night and he’s done with work for a while, happy to go home and enjoy some time with Alex. Maybe with a few days to themselves he can pamper her and get her to open up. Parking up in the drive he walks in, shouting to alert her to his presence before carrying on to the kitchen to make a cuppa. He hears Alex wander in behind him, “How are you, dear?”

“Alright. Glad to be home, now though.” After flicking the kettle on he turns to give her a kiss and sees her rubbing at her stomach, the second their eyes catch her hand drops as though scolded. Features creasing a little in confusion, he takes a step towards her and plants a kiss on her cheek, hugging her to him and speaking into her curly mane, “You alright, love?”


His hands stroke over her spine, while she returns a soft kiss to his lips. Separating, Alex goes to sit in a chair stretching back a little while Matt collects two mugs to make tea with. Out of the corner of his eye he catches her fidget uncomfortably, a hand stroking at her back and some expression crossing her face that he can’t figure out. “Tea for m’lady?”

“That’d be lovely, darling.”

Smiling as he makes up the drinks, “Maybe it’ll ease your back - if not, I could always give you a massage.” A playful smirk graces his lips.

Alex merely raises her brows in question, “I’m fine.” She accepts his mug of tea and blows cool air across it.

Matt sighs as he sits down, running a hand through his hair and stretching his feet out, he looks up to see Alex pouting sympathetically at him. “Ready for the break were you?”

“Press rounds are tiring. Not that you’d know, bloody Queen Kingston - no one’s made you do one in years. Like you’re above it.” He sticks his tongue out childishly and scruffs up his hair some more. She chuckles at that, before huffing a small breath, stilling a little. Twisting to look at him, she starts getting up and Matt feels on edge. He’s been watching her much more closely lately -she’s good at hiding how she feels, never wanting to burden anyone, so until she comes clean he wants to try and be there - silently.

“Just going to the loo.” She disappears down the hall and up the stairs. Normally, he wouldn’t think twice but why she felt the need to actively hide her aches and pains was bugging him. There was something he was missing - that or he needs to do some research on how to approach ones menopausal girlfriend, he’s fairly sure its the former.

Sipping at his tea, Matt drums his fingers on the table top humming to himself when Alex appears down the hall, having returned from the bathroom. Now he’s sure he is missing something as he takes her in.

Alex looks a little sick, a frown of concern across her features she holds one hand over her stomach - seemingly oblivious - her eyes meet his and she looks lost. Never has he seen her so uneasy with herself, immediately darting from his chair to hold her when he sees tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

“Sweetheart, what is it? Are you alright?” Hushing and murmuring at her while his hands stroke her back, keeping his eyes on her. She steadies her breaths, struggling with something as the first few times her mouth moves she makes no sound and tries again.

“I need- can you, Matt,” practically falling into him, she hugs him, “I feel dizzy.”

His heart lurches into his throat, obviously she was ill, he just wasn’t sure what to do. Contemplating a call to get medical advice, he steadies her, “Alright, let’s- let’s get you sat down.”

Her hands grip him a bit tighter and her breath catches, “No. Take me-” she takes a deep breath, as though bracing herself, her voice steadies and he sees a little more of his Alex in there, “I need to go to the hospital.”

Alex never complains, she never moans and never whines. If she says she needs to go to the hospital, Matt is all but certain she’s dying. “Okay, but you’re going to have to tell me what’s up, come on Lex.” His hands soothe over her back, not sure how he can ease her discomfort, whatever she may be feeling. He guides her to the hallway and sits her down on the stairs, disappearing around the corner to get them shoes, tapping her on the nose as he goes, “Just getting us shoes, alright?”

Humming in confirmation, she hunches forwards hugging her knees, “I’m sorry.”

It’s no more than a whisper but he hears it. “Nothing to be sorry for,” ducking his head back around to give her a reassuring smile, he can at least pretend to be handling things, “Now, tell me what’s up? Why are we going to the hospital?”

Chapter Text

“I’ve made a mistake.”

He waits, tugging on his shoes.

“I was going to tell you-” he hears her take another deep breath, “I’m- it’s, god. Too good to be true. Too late.”

She’s trailing off and talking to herself, Matt appears in front of her and sits on the floor with a pair of her flats, putting them on her feet. “Come on, you need to tell me, Alex. It’s gonna be okay.”

Taking her hands he pulls her up and she loses balance, sitting back down again. She whispers something and all he catches is ‘-ding.’ This time, his arm is around her waist to pull her up, almost on auto-pilot because something really is wrong, she’s lost balance and upset. It’s her dizziness that concerns him most; she’s eaten and drank well, done nothing strenuous and generally had some time off, so why she is eludes him.

As he gets her stood up against him, she feels limp and unbalanced, looking at the floor with her eyes closing, she whispers, “I’m bleeding.”

Blood? That doesn’t sound good, it can’t be good if she’s this weak and dizzy. Fuck. “What? Alex, love, come on, I’m here. Where are you bleeding?” He can’t see any blood but the way she’s slumping against him, relying on him for balance (god help them) he needs to find out.

Tears roll down her cheeks and her breathing stutters, it’s difficult for him to know whether that’s part of whatever’s wrong or is her own emotional reaction. Giving up trying to get information, he decides to listen to her and take her to A and E, there’s clearly something very not right and he can try and find out more in the car. Making the choice to sit her down before he tries unlocking the door incase she lost her balance again, he places her back on the step, grabbing a hoody of his that is on the end of the stairs and putting it around her shoulders. In moments he’s got the door unlocked and turns to collect her only to find her laid back on the stairs, jaw slack and eyes shut. “Alex?!”

Leaning over her, Matt grabs her jaw and moves her to look at him - what were you meant to do if someone passed out? She did pass out. He refuses to consider any alternative explanation. As he brushes some hair out of her eyes, sees them flutter open and she seems surprised about her situation. Looking around her Alex breathes deeply, locking her eyes on him, “That was weird.”

Matt could almost laugh, there he is so concerned over what’s going on, she blacks out and come to calling it ‘weird’. “You’re telling me.” Hooking his arms under hers, he starts to pull her up intending to get them moving for someone to at least explain what’s going on and sort Alex out. While he pulls her up he sees her hands stroking over her lower stomach, something inside him tells him that maybe Karen was wrong - this is some sort of clue. Getting her out the front door and sitting her in the car he quickly goes back and locks the house up.

Climbing into the drivers seat he watches how she tries to fasten her seatbelt with a lack of coordination, arms appearing weak. “Karen told me.” Matt’s busy looking around the car as he backs them out, pulling onto the road, he hears another stop in her breath.

“No. It’s-”

Matt stops on the road side to click her belt for her and places a hand beneath her chin, tilting it  up to place a kiss on her cheek - she might not want much intimate affection if she doesn’t feel well. “It’s okay. You should just say, love.”

She seems frustrated but words aren’t coming easily to her, when she speaks her voice sounds frail. Licking his lips and piecing some things together, when they pull out onto the main road Matt ventures, “Is this to do with that?”

“Heh? W-what?” Alex’s voice quivers and he’s quickly learning that any questions will have to be well explained and to the point. Matt doesn’t want to waste her effort in speaking when she sounds like that; he knows how it feels when you’re ill and don’t want to talk, the determination it takes.

Risking a glance over at her, Alex looks white as a sheet with her body defeated against the seat and hands on her stomach again - it either hurts or she feels sick... or both. Okay, Matt tries mentally sifting through the evidence, Karen said she was menopausal-this isn’t right- her stomach does hurt though. Bleeding? Maybe she is then, what if it’s wrong? How can it be-it’s not unusual-then again what do I know about it.

“Are you bleeding, like- is it your period?” Focussing on getting them where they need to be, he can just hear her sniff.

“Maybe.” It’s no more than a whimper, but he thinks it might be more to do with how she’s tying herself up in knots emotionally, “Matt- I- you shouldn’t be driving.”


With her breathing slow and even as she speaks, “I n- need to tell you something.”

He swallows, they’re on the road to the hospital now and they’ll be there in moments, “You aren’t... you’re not going through the change are you?” Almost certain in his question now.

“No.” Pulling into a parking space, he’s about to get out and collect her, but he really needs to know what’s up - what if she blacks out again? He needs to be able to tell them what’s wrong. Alex looks like she’s given up whatever fight with herself she had.

“So tell me.” Matt speaks simply, “Then we’ll get you inside and I’ll hold your hand until everything’s better again.”

It’s an idealistic image but he means it, he’s expecting some kind of pause from Alex, but words seem to trip out of her mouth without effort, almost separate to her, betraying her. “I’m pregnant.”

“No...” he breathes out. She can’t be, she physically cannot and even if she could the odds were against them. With a squeak, “How?”

Alex smiles, honest to god smiles and he realises what an idiot he is to ask that. “When did you find out? Really? I can’t believe-” Matt’s absolutely stunned and his insides feel like they’re shaking with excitement and fright simultaneously, then it hits him, “Shit, bleeding.” With that he jumps out of the car, racing around to  her and helping her out, she still feels weak in his arms coordination still not great but at least it’s no longer deteriorating.

“I’m sorry.”  Her eyes are glassy when they meet his, but he shuts the door and locks the car quickly behind them. With an arm around her waist, he feels her drop her head against his shoulder and the more he thinks the more sick he feels. The hand around her waist smoothes it’s fingers in circles on her side.

She was pregnant. That’s some kind of miracle. They’d never even considered it - outside of conversations on her past and what they were going to do about contraception. Which they didn’t really use. He’s not really sure how to digest it all, but she’s not well and she’s bleeding and maybe he won’t have to digest it because it might be slipping away from him already.

They go through the double doors inside and he takes her straight over to the desk, not really sure what he’s about to say because two minutes ago he had an ill Alex in his hands, now it’s... well it’s her and a baby. His baby. Matt thinks he might black out now too.

Registering the woman at the desk he manages to stutter something out about what’s going on and they soon have Alex into a wheelchair and moving along the corridors. He follows them, trying to keep up but Alex doesn’t seem to be very aware of her surroundings anyway - her eyes seem glazed, hands on her stomach still and it’s falling into place for him.


Sitting in a private room next to a bed, his eyes never leave her. The staff are all being lovely but rather too unhurried for his liking. Alex has barely said a word, now staring at the ceiling, lost in her own thoughts - a hand still on her stomach, whether it was in pain or to comfort he didn’t know. Leaning forward he speaks quietly, she’s so fragile before him that he thinks loud noises might shatter her, “Does it hurt?” Gesturing at her stomach.

Not looking at him just hums sadly, “Mmm.”

With a look of confused wonder, his hand reaches out to touch hers before slipping under it, staring at her stomach - trying to note some change. Resting his hand tentatively on her stomach and it feels... softer. How far along was she?

A nurse comes in and informs them that she just needs a blood sample, Alex sits quietly and lets her take it before laying down again, her shirt riding up a little and he sees it. On her back, he could normally see her hipbones, her smooth flat stomach between them, but there was a small mound. “It’s there,” he points out dumbly.

Alex’s eyes meet him for the first time in the twenty minutes they’ve been there. It seems as though she’d detached from reality as her eyes seems to properly open and really see him. “I didn’t know how to say.”

“You could have told me.”

“I didn’t- just wanted some time. It’s hard.”

“I know. I’m absolutely speechless so you can’t be taking this with a pinch of salt,” his eyes are soft, fingers stroking on her stomach, “When were you going to tell me?”

She lets out a shuddering breath, “Soon. Today. I just needed you home and rested first.”

“You have to start putting yourself first now anyway.” Eyes latched on her stomach still, as though he will note something to tell him what’s wrong, “When did you find o- the doctors appointment last week?”

Alex looks guilty.

“You went for a cold.”

“I went because Karen thought I should, before I told you- I didn’t even think of this.” A small incredulous laugh escapes her.

“Fucking Kaz, I had the exact opposite idea in my head.”

They sit in silence, waiting on someone to arrive and direct them some more. It all passes in a blur for Matt, who’s incapable of processing many details, still mulling over the idea of Alex being pregnant before his head reminds him that she might not be anymore and then he’s back at square one wondering again.

Chapter Text

Three hours and four minutes since they came to the room. He knows because he’s been counting. Numerous tests and checks later all Matt remembers is hearing a persistent thrumming when someone held some sort of device against her, it was the most wonderful sound of life he’d ever heard.

A doctor enters the room with a clipboard and serious expression - his heart drops to his feet. “Miss Kingston, you need to schedule a new appointment with us, as soon as possible. We’re going to have to keep a close eye on you.”

A close eye? That implied that there’ll be a baby involved then...

Alex cuts into his fast track thought process, “What’s happened? How’s the baby?” Matt’s heart grows, her maternal instincts were always rather wonderful to witness in action. He could never put his finger on it but it was so affirming to see it.

“We think we’ve seen a clot but,” he emphasises as the air rushes out the room, feeling his and Alex’s joined panic, “It poses no threat to the baby. Perfectly healthy.”

“Oh God.” Matt didn’t intend to open his mouth, but a perfectly healthy baby meant... he was having a baby. It’s just starting to hit him.

Fingers tighten on his hand and he hadn’t even noticed that he had Alex’s in his.

“We’re going to need to see you weekly to make sure it disappears but there’s nothing of too much concern to us right now.” He offers them a very clinical reassuring smile, “If you’re alright, we’re happy to discharge you and set up some appointments. You’ll just need to inform us if anything changes otherwise.”

“Thank you,” Alex’s face has lit up. When the doctor leaves the room Matt can’t help himself, he has no idea why but his body has it’s own ideas and leaps up to get nearer her. His lips are on hers in a second, a hand resting on her cheek as his tongue seeks entrance. Alex takes a moment to catch up but returns his kiss with equal excitement and when she whimpers in the back of her throat, Matt remembers where they are and breaks the kiss. He’s absolutely beaming.

“Are you alright?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He’s still concerned as she sits up and strokes at her stomach, a frown on his face.

“I’m.. okay. Scared.”

“Scared,” he nods, that hand is still at her stomach however, “Does it still hurt?”

“Just some cramp, but it’s okay. Medically certified as fine.”

Matt keeps her close to his side once she’s out of the bed, a hand twined with his as they leave to sign discharge papers, arranging an appointment for the next week - he insists that it has to be on one of his free days. There was a small disagreement when she tells him it’s fine but he puts his foot down on being there for her and she really can’t argue.


The journey home was mostly quiet, both thinking a little. Alex felt incredibly sorry for Matt. She knew he’d been trying to accommodate her oddness then she appears before him, ill and asking to go to hospital. She passes out, manages to tell him she’s pregnant and bleeding in the same instance and then has to rely on him until everything’s cleared up. She owes him.

Stopping in their drive, she gets out and isn’t long before Matt’s by her side again, arm going around her, guiding her to the door. “Are you still feeling dizzy?” Concern tinges his voice, so timid and caring.

“Just a bit pathetic I think.”

He lets them into the house, pressing the button to lock the car behind him, she can feel his hands hovering behind her. “You’re allowed to be anything you want. Bloody hell, Lex. You scared me.”

“I’m sorry,” slipping her shoes off, sickness pooling in her stomach, it was all a bit of a mess and she wants to soothe him.

“No, it’s out of your control, it’s okay. I just... wish I knew. You needed time though. That’s okay. You must be feeling a bit confused, ay?” Her absolute darling Matt, thinking through how she feels. She’s not entirely sure that he’s really taken it all in yet. Sensing that he might have his own white sheet moment later, she gathers that she’s just Alex and pregnant to him, not Alex and carrying his child.

“I don’t know.” She huffs a little, still feeling weak, wiping a hand over her forehead she informs him, “I think I just want to lie down.”

Matt’s by her again, hand warm on her lower back, “Of course, go lay down, I’ll bring you a drink- are you hungry? I could make something- or fetch something, if you’re worried about me burning down the kitchen that is. What drink do you want? Hot, cold... umm...”

His rambling and thought is bringing a smile to her face, “Sweetie, calm down. You can make me a cup of tea.”

“Right,” a hands scratches at his hair nervously.

“Take your time to figure it out, I’m just gonna be in bed.”

“I know how to make tea.”

“Questionable.” She eyes him, before seriously muttering, “Go get your head around it. I’m not much use to help with that right now.” Planting a quick kiss on his jaw before wandering back down the hall to the stairs. He doesn’t move until she’s upstairs and Alex can’t help wondering if it’s shock or his protectiveness. Reaching the bedroom, she sinks  gratefully into the mattress. Instead of letting her thoughts get away from her she focuses on breathing in and out until things become more even.


Matt watches her head upstairs bothering that she’ll lose her balance but it seems to be manageable as she grips the banister taking it slowly. Heading to the kitchen he switches on the kettle and pulls out two mugs, putting tea bags in. While waiting for the kettle to boil he spots her laptop on the worktop and decides to do some quick googling, feeling at a significant disadvantage when it came to knowledge about these things.

He opens it to find everything he needs right there; history open down the side full of pages about pregnancy, risks, development. The page she left it on is titled ‘Pregnant and over 40’, something clenches inside him - in the short time he’s had to think about this whole thing, her age had never occurred. Alex was bubbly and fit and healthy, her age was never an issue, but when it came to these matters he realises there’s a world of difference.

Opening a new tab he searches, ‘pregnant dizzy clot’ and finds a multitude of message boards and advice sites - going to pour water into their cups he makes up the drinks and comes back to have a look at some of the pages before he takes hers up; she had told him to get his head around it after all. Everything he found just said see your doctor to check it was alright, apparently it wasn’t unusual at all, which gives him relief.

He knew he wanted kids, but then he fell for Alex and weighing up his priorities, he’d swiftly chosen her - Salome was as good as his anyway. Thoughts on being a parent were shoved to the back of his mind, given no attention. Shock was still coursing through him over the fact that she was pregnant, it was never even considered a possibility, entirely unsure as to how he felt. Then when he was aware of potentially losing it - he’d froze. Now he knows it’s okay, well... he realises that really, he does want this - terribly much - so the rest of his feelings are about Alex’s welfare and his own abilities. That’s another relief to him.

Closing the laptop and taking the mugs upstairs, he stays quiet, entering the bedroom to see her laid back, hair splayed on the pillow with the protective hand still across her abdomen. Quietly placing the mugs down he hovers over her, not sure what to do but just feeling excitement. A small whimper escapes her lips and her hand soothes over her stomach - Matt’s on edge, but it was okay wasn’t it? As long as she feels nothing changes for the worst. His weight shifts from foot to foot before he kneels beside the bed, watching her middle intently.

He knows that he won’t be able to physically see if anything’s wrong but it feels like he should be watching. Alex’s breathing causes a slight rise and fall motion, but he can identify a very small roundedness to her stomach which he knew was not there before - he probably would have passed it off as a little weight if he even paid attention to it.

A baby. A baby with Alex. What she always wanted. Something he wants too. That raises a smile. Skimming down some of her internet history has told him that this will be a little more dangerous than expected, but really if she can do it then he will be there every step of the way. He’s going to be a dad, with a baby in a pram who he feeds and relies upon him. Fuck.

“Can you see it too? I thought I was getting old.” Matt jumps a little at her sleepy voice, realising he was staring at her stomach while sitting cross-legged beside the bed. He catches her staring down at herself and her not-really-flat stomach.

“Yeah, it’s sort of... softer,” he speaks with a fond affliction to his voice, “But you? Old? Naaah.” He rubbishes her thought firmly, with a small tone of disgust to his voice.

Alex pushes herself up and now he’s level with her knees, “This mine?” She asks gesturing to a cup and he just nods, picking himself up off the floor to sit on the edge of the bed and face her.

“How do you feel?”

“Bit disorientated but a lot better.” She’s fiddling with the edge of her cup, mulling something over - he knows that face, “How about you?”

“I’m fine.” Matt sees her raised brow and knows what she means, the least he can do is reassure her, “Still thinking it over. I’m happy, shocked and happy. Worried about you and- shit... our baby.” His eyes go round and his voice is no more than a whisper - something they made together, he’s reeling again.

“Ours.” Alex breathes.

“Alex.” He needs to promise her something and to get a promise from her, they’d both suffered today, “I need you to promise something.”

She’s looking at him reverently, already promising him things, “Promise me that you’ll never keep anything from me, that you’ll tell me things that are bothering you or growing inside you.”

“I’m sorry,” tears are welling in her eyes and he’s  ready to wipe them away, his thumb tenderly stroking at her cheek.

“Don’t be sorry. This is fucking incredible. I mean wow.” There’s almost a smug smirk on his face, voice demonstrating his surprise, “I will never ever judge you or walk out - I’m sorry for doing that, I just needed to think things over, nothing was adding up but I get it now. I just wish you hadn’t subjected yourself to solitary confinement in your head.”

“You’re taking this all rather well, darling.” A tear spills down her cheek, betraying her happier tone.

He explains, “Shock. I’m gonna wake up at 3am and it’ll hit me. Be ready.” Laughing to lighten the mood and because right now, that’s how he feels.

They drink their tea smiling at each other, Alex apparently unable to stop her tear ducts. Occasionally, Matt will reach over and touch his fingertips to her stomach for no apparent reason other than an urge he feels. When she yawns, Matt insists that she take a nap, “I’ll be okay-”

“Go on, you’re working overtime on yourself.” She can’t really disagree with that, “I might take a walk, clear my head - is that okay? Do you need me here?”

Alex suppresses a yawn and blearily says, “Yes, go. Don’t be long. And take your phone.”

Giving her a salute, Matt tucks the duvet around her noting how her hands are quite cool and gives her a quick peck before going downstairs to put on his shoes and leave.

Closing the door behind him, Matt takes and deep breath of fresh air and hums to himself as he sets off down the drive into the dusky evening.

Chapter Text

They decide to keep the news to themselves and spend the week of Matt’s break together at home, venturing out only for shopping and a hospital appointment. Matt seems to have handled things well which has impressed Alex, occasionally he’ll have a moment of quiet shock and stare at or touch her stomach with saucer like eyes and a smile. It took Alex two days before she felt well enough to leave the house, Matt by her side constantly.

Now at twelve weeks gone, Alex feels certain that people will start noticing things - especially friends and family, after a late night discussion with Matt they agreed that she could tell Salome (and grudgingly, Florian) in a skype call the next day. They’re going to take a trip to each other their parents to tell them however.

The house is quiet without Matt around and she pulls out her laptop to wait for Salome to wake up so they can talk, when she sees her appear online Alex wastes no time in clicking the call button. Beaming at each other and exchanging their usual greetings, Alex decides to get to it before Salome bemoans her day - hoping she’ll be excited.

“Darling, I need to tell you something. Something serious.”

“What?” Her head cocking to the side, playing with a curl, wrapping it around her finger.

“You can’t tell Dad, I’m going to talk to him after you, okay?”

“Riiight...” She’s treading carefully and Alex decides it’s best to just get it out before she starts imagining all kinds of worst case scenarios.

“You’re - you’re going to be a big sister.” Tears well in her eyes, she never thought she’d be saying that to her daughter and she’d longed to.

Salome’s jaw drops on screen, head a blur as she shakes it, “Whaat?”

“Me and-”

“Matt and you?”


“You’re pregnant?!”

“Yes.” She’s beaming at Salome’s over excitement, so glad that she’s doing this via webcam rather than phone because she can appreciate all the passing smiles and jaw dropping waves of shock.

“Like... a baby, growing inside you?”

“Darling, we’ve discussed this, that is what pregnant means.”

“Mo-om.” Her jaw drops again and she bounces on her seat, “How come?”

“I thought we discussed that too-”

“Eww! No! Why?”

Her mouth goes dry - they never thought of this - she can’t really tell her daughter that it was because her and her boyfriend were a little lax in the contraceptive department. Gathering her wits quickly, she goes straight into mummy mode, “Because we love each other and, hmm, well, you turned out sort of nice so we thought we’d see what we could do.”

Fluffing her hair Salome preens, “I know I’m good. So - but- ohmygodwow. A baby?! Is it a girl or a boy?”

Alex’s heart is swelling and stomach dancing with butterflies, Salome was genuinely happy and even hyper, she supposes, if she were younger she might not understand this well. Her little baby’s growing up but her even littler one is just beginning.

“We don’t know yet, darling. I’m only three months pregnant.”

Watching as Salome’s forehead creases and her fingers twiddle, “So it’ll be here in six months?”

“Yes.” Alex could not physically love her daughter anymore than she does right now, “Your little brother or sister.”

“Can I come over?”

Of course. Her mood drops dramatically, a child in England and a child in America. How stupid could she get, of course this wasn’t going to be wine and roses. “We’ll work something out, I promise you sweetie. I’ll need to tell your father and talk to him first.”

Nodding solemnly at Alex, Salome lights up again, “Does this mean Matt’s actually part of the family now?”

Trust her girl, things might not be so bad. With a heavily dramatic sigh, “I suppose.”

A squeal of excitement comes down the line, making the speakers crackle, “Oi! Lady! Shhh. You’ll hurt my ears if you do that.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Not sounding sorry in the slightest, a gasp escapes and Alex waits on her with a smile, “So do you have a baby belly?”

Chuckling at her, “Maybe a bit-”

“Can I see?”

This could possibly be the best morning of her life, she’s having a baby and her little girl is so excited about it all. She just wishes she could have given her it sooner. Standing up infront of the camera, she lifts her top, “Can you see? It’s not really noticable.”

There’s a hum and Salome gets closer to the camera, “It looks like you ate too much.”

“Thank you, darling daughter.”

“Well it’s not obvious it’s a baby,” she huffs at her mother.

Sitting back down and stroking her hands over her stomach, she feels like she can float on air. “Are you happy, sweetie?”

“Do I get to dress it up?”

“We could, if you like.” The thought of the pair of them spending time together, dressing a new addition to their little family is rather appealing.

“Yeah. I’m gonna be a big sister. Woooow. Do grandma and grandad know? Can I tell them?”

Oh god, Alex definitely needs to get there first. “No, no. We’re going to go see them this afternoon when Matt gets home.” Salome drops in her seat a little, “You’re the first to know.”

With a grin that could light up a universe, Salome sends her a kissy face down the camera.

“Love you too, sweetheart.” Her cheeks feel damp with tears of happiness and she wants nothing more than to gather her daughter in her arms and give her a kiss. On screen, Salome turns away before coming back.

“Dad says tea’s ready-” Sadness is evident in her voice, at having to leave her mum right now.

“Then go, darling. Just ask your dad to come here would you? Don’t tell him!” May as well get it over and done with, she can’t expect Salome to keep it to herself and Florian does need to know.

“Okay, byeeee. I love you and ohmygod my brother-sister. Tell Matt he has to be nice to you or I’ll get him.”

“He doesn’t doubt that, honey. I love you too - now go get your dinner.”

“Yes, mom. Bye!” And with that she’s slipping off the chair and heading out the room, Alex hears some chatter before someone darts into view. Her heart clenches, he never got to have this and now she does; she feels a bit like she’s going to break his heart. When all is said and done she still cares for the man, he’s the father of her child and they shared so much together, but that’s all she does anymore - care.

“Hi.” His expression a little puzzled and she takes a deep breath.

“Hi, how’s everything over there?”

With a shrug of his shoulders, “Same as ever, she’s still running me into the ground.”

“Wouldn’t want to hear any different.” She answers with a smile.

He rolls his eyes and tuts at her, “What is it, then? The privilege of face-to-face interaction is normally reserved for the mini Tornado.”

Biting her lip, she has to do this now, it’s not like he can do anything not really, he can’t be mad. She supposes it was always going to be awkward telling your ex-husband you’re pregnant by another man after you’d tried for so long with him. “Salome’s going to be a big sister.”

“What?” A frown crosses his forehead, “Are you two adopting? Are you sure that’s a good idea - what if it doesn’t work out?”

His sympathy for her is touching and reminds her of when it didn’t work out, but this, she’s feeling will. It’s no more than a mumble when she speaks, “Not adopting.”

“What?” He sighs, “Should I get it on record so I don’t have to repeat? What is going on?”

“I’m having a baby.”

“Alright,” slight stun in his tone, “How?”

She cannot resist snarking a little, because the mood takes her and he’s being almost intentionally naive, “I thought about waiting for some passing storks to drop one but then I figured growing it myself would likely be more efficient.”

“Alex... are you? No...” His breath goes short. She beams and bites her lip.

“I am.”

“How?” His jaw is slack, fingers laced near his chin.

“Do you want that one on repeat too?”

“Alex... I didn’t know you - at your age-”

“My age is nothing to do with it thank you.” She snaps. It terrifies her, her age and what it could do to her child. She doesn’t need him reminding her. “It’s my miracle I guess.”

“You weren’t trying?”

She blushes, not wanting to step on his ego but really it has nothing to do with that, “Like I said, miracle.”

She watches as he looks straight through the screen at her and smiles, an honest to god smile, “Congratulations. I hope you take care of yourself.”

Alex is completely lost for words, he’s being so nice and genuine, “Ke-keep me updated will you? And I can bring Salome over a bit more - we’ll work something out?”

“Y-yes, that’d be- lovely.”

“Okay.” He claps his hands together with a broad smile, “I need to go make sure she isn’t destroying the kitchen in her lust for food.” Alex chuckles because she knows all too well how that can happen, he speaks one last time as he reaches to turn the camera off, “Good luck - let me know what happens.”

“I will, bye.” And with that he’s gone and she’s left sat there stunned. He was happy for her, he was going to bring Salome over more... bring her over. He was going to come over. She supposes she might be thankful for that when she has a baby to look after, they’ll cross that bridge when they get there.

She shuts the laptop and heads to the kitchen to make a sandwich, in dire need of some tomato sauce on sandwiches. It brings a smirk to her lips as she wonders if it’s a craving, a sign of the life growing inside her.


That night Alex takes herself straight to bed, her parents having being as amazed and frightened at the news as she was, congratulating Matt and telling him to look after her. After many tears and hugs and laughs they were home and bed seemed the best place. She was worn out.

It’s about ten o’clock when Matt sneaks in, trying to be quiet incase she’s asleep but finding her propped up on cushions reading, glasses perching on her nose. “Thought you were tired.”

“Can’t sleep, just needed a rest.”

He rolls his eyes at her and goes to the other side of the room to shuck off his trousers, pulling his tshirt over his head he hears a small gasp from Alex, almost imperceptible if it weren’t so quiet. His eyes dart to her, to check if she’s okay and finds her looking at him, glasses now in her hand, putting them aside and starting to kneel up, leaning forwards.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” Going into panic mode again.

“Mmm,” she speaks airily. The way she leans forwards, he can see the way her cleavage has filled out. He’s been trying not to initiate anything sexual, settling for cuddles and kisses - feeling that she was under enough strain without him trying anything on - but how he hasn’t noticed the fuller cleavage is beyond him.

“What’s up? Is it worse?” Climbing onto the bed in his boxers beside her, eyes scanning her form and pushing any naughty thoughts aside, if there’s something wrong he needs to help out. His hand reaches towards her stomach, he can’t resist, and he sees her biting her lip - did it hurt or was there something else?

As his fingertips brush her stomach she whispers, so seductively he can’t mistake her tone, “Lower.”

Chapter Text

Oh. Oh! His hand trails to her lower stomach, eyes searching hers, “Are you alright, Alex?”

“I might be if you lost the boxers.” He squeaks. Well done, Matt. Manly.

“Oh?” He presses a chaste kiss to her lips, tender with his touch and his hand moves to her waist, “Is... that safe?”

Alex leans closer, knelt beside him, as her lips brush his she murmurs, “Yes.”

He has a response on the tip of his tongue, but Alex occupies it before he can form the words, stroking her tongue against his lips as her hands trail up his shoulders to wrap around his neck and tangle one in his hair. Matt moves his hands to her waist, holding her securely while he responds by opening his mouth and brushing her tongue with his own, a small lick to the roof of her mouth and he’s sure he just felt her shiver.

Parting for air, his lip gently bites on hers before releasing it and she moans, rich and throaty - it makes him shiver. Stroking a curl back from her face, “Are you sure? I mean you haven’t seemed... up to it, in a little while.”

Instead of answering, Alex’s lips are trailing wet kisses down his neck and collar bones, nibbling lightly - it sends a thrill right through him, she pauses to sit up and meet his eye again, “Sure that I want you inside me right now? Yes.”

She’s trying to kill him. At least it feels that way, she’s all soft curves and curls and purring tones and wet lips. “I don’t want to, um, cause any problems-”

“Then lose the pants.” She just needs him. Right now. She’s been holding off until she had chance to ask her doctor, but now she knows there’s no need to hold back and there’s a lot of unresolved sexual frustration. He’s not seeming to get the message so her hands slide down his torso, nails scratching gently, until she can dip fingers under the edge of his purple boxers. Matt’s hands catch hers and she looks up - he seems guilty. What if he doesn’t want her that way now?

“The baby, Lex.” Eyes so deep and concerning, of course he doesn’t want anything to happen again. Neither of them do, but she was good to go, more than.

“Is safe.” A hand dipping inside his boxers to find him half hard, wrapping a hand around him and stroking she feels him getting harder. Matt moans and his hands grab her by the waist again. “I checked with the doctor.”

Opening his eyes, she sees him regard her before a smile flits across his face, replacing itself with a cocky grin, “Really now?”

“Now, I do believe, that it’s your job to satisfy my cravings,” and god did she have some for him.

His eyes widen and go dark, his bedroom eyes taking over his features - how she did love that face. A hand slips up her rib cage to cup one of her breasts, thumb stroking over her nipple through the cami top she has on. It sends electric shocks straight to her clit and she thrusts her chest into his palm, arching her back a little, sitting on her heels. “Beautiful.”

“Please, Matt.”

She knows it must be a little soon to be begging but everything feels on fire, the heat between her thighs pooling, nipples hardening. Hormones can be wonderful things. Matt gently pushes her backwards, placing an arm around her waist to lower her to the bed, he lays beside her, his torso over her, propped on his elbows. His face is nearest her chest and when her hands fist in his hair wanting to haul him up and kiss him he resists.

Struggling for a second, she sees him lick his lips and lower his mouth to press a kiss to the swell of each breast visible above her flimsy top. If that was his plan then she was happy to forgo a kiss. Hands smooth his hair down as he meets her eyes and a hand teases at the edge of her top, lips parted he looks deliciously filthy. Dragging the top down to expose a breast she can feel his eyes burn at her skin, everything feels like too much and too little all at once. She’s never felt such a need to just come.

Matt’s lips kiss her dusky peak before suckling at it and her hips buck from the bed, it feels incredible. Holding her top between his lips he’s licking at her and she needs him everywhere at once, so she takes his hand and places it on the other breast. Thankful that he’s good at multitasking, Alex holds his head to her and fists a hand into the pillow, his fingers pinching at her other nipple delicately, twisting it and pulling lightly while his mouth keeps up the work on its twin.

Matt,” her voice is breathy and low, legs falling open of their own accord but Matt is quick on the uptake, shuffling himself between her thighs his hand abandons her nipple to hold himself up. As he releases her nipple from his teeth she hisses, “Ow.”

His head flips up fast as a shot, “Sorry!” Eyes going wide as saucers before her, he looks back down at her exposed chest and stares, “Ohhh.”

“Matt? What? Just do something.” She has been holding off him for nearly two weeks and lately the tiniest things were setting her off, making her want to jump on him, so now is not the time for him to be going slowly.

Still staring, eyes switching from between her face to her chest, she’s starting to feel self concious - has something changed that noticably? “Alex... you’re all...” He swallows a breath, reverence in his voice, “Sensitive and, and you’re going to- swell and- sorry, sorry.”

“What? Tell me, please.” Her breath’s short but she has know and he has to do something with some part of his body.

“You’re going to produce milk,” Matt’s expression is one of wonder, a distant smirk crossing his lips, “That’s amazing.”

“Oh...” He was interested by that then? Or just revelling in what she could do, she supposes. Thinking about it, it is amazing, she’s going to change so much and hopefully he’ll be this excited over it all. He’s going to need to be if her libido keeps climbing.

Shaking her from her thoughts is the delightful sensation of Matt’s fingers tugging on her knickers. To help him remove them and show how urgent she is, Alex raises her hips. As soon as he throws them across the room her hands pull on his shoulders, trying to get close to him again and attack what she can with her hands and mouth. Her attempts are thwarted as he he holds himself above her and all she can do is try pulling him closer. “Here,” she whines.

“Don’t wanna crush you.” He murmurs lowly as he licks at her hardened nipples, her hands winding into his hair and hips bucking up into his middle. “Someone’s eager.”

“Cravings don’t end at food, darling-ah.” Sighing out as her clit makes contact with his body.

Fuck. Let’s see to that then, hmm?” His lips are full from her earlier assault when he licks his lips devilishly, it damn near forces a whimper from her. Squirming against the sheets, she twists a hand in bedcovers another cradling his head while his lips do devious things to her sensitised nipples, kissing wetly under the swell of her breast too. There’s a slick, gentle stroke against her entrance and her hips try seeking out the source. His forehead drops to her chest, “You are so wet, Lex.”

A hum emanates from deep within and when he pushes two fingers inside her she spasms, “Yes-there, Matt!” Head thrusting backwards deep into a pillow. He crooks them just so and her muscles clench around him, legs turning to jelly, before she’s aware what’s happening a wave of pleasure crashes over her and she’s coming around his hand, legs tight around him.

Alex pants harshly, legs feeling utterly useless and dropping further open either side of his body. “Matthew, you just- fu-uck.” Breath taken and still swimming in the post-orgasmic rush.

“Well that’s interesting,” looking down to where his chin rests between her breasts she sees the dark intent glittering in his eyes, he’s going to play with this hyper-sensitivity while she has it, and she knows it.

Matt is still resisting her stomach, it’s kind of adorable to her, even if he could get away with leaning on her a little right now, his protectiveness is all kinds of attractive. Catching her breath she registers his fingertips brushing up her sides, it sends shivers down her spine, normally he’d be naked and pressing against her by now; she can’t say she’s entirely unhappy with the time to recover though. Hands regaining some use, she hauls him back up to crush their lips together - tender nibbles and gentle licks at each other - but he’s still holding himself awkwardly above her.

That is simply no good.

Shoving at his shoulders he sits up a bit and Alex take the advantage to overbalance him, luckily he complies willingly as her jelly legs land either side of his hips. It’s so irresistible, the way his hardness sheathed in his tight boxers presses persistently against her wet heat. So irresistible that she cannot prevent herself grinding on it, feeling the roughness of the cotton against her and wishing he were very much naked by now. Through gritted teeth, Matt growls, “If you keep that up this’ll be over before you’re started.”

“Then for the third time, Matt,” pleading with him, breathless and wanton, “Please, lose the damned boxers.”

He chuckles dirtily, lifting his hips as she shuffles down him with her hands on his pants, pulling them off his feet she discards them quickly. In a second she’s back, hips resting above his, slick heat stroking slickly along his cock, trapping him between her and his stomach. “God, I’ve been so desperate for this.” Head lolling back and curls tumbling behind her, thrusting her chest out.

“Desperate? Interesting.” Matt smirks at her, hands gripping her hips where hers join them, twining together. As she gathers her wits and looks down at him she takes a guess at how much he’s going to enjoy her new developments - he always did like boobs. Untangling their hands, she removes her arms from the flimsy top and lets it rest around her middle but Matt starts pulling it upwards, so she helps him and lifts her arms.

Now fully naked astride Matt, the length of him pressing tightly against her she shivers and kneels up, her hands go between them to take hold of his hard cock, “Mmm.” Giving him a quick stroke before teasing herself with the head of his cock, sliding it down her slick folds, it’s such delicious torture and her eyes slip shut. Lining him up, her hands go to his chest to give herself leverage and she slowly sinks down, taking him within her and feeling the pleasurable stretch as she accommodates his girth.

Opening her eyes again she looks down at  Matt and sees him with his lips parted and eyes burning into her skin, a slight flush to his cheeks. Alex licks her dry lips and experimentally grinds her hips, clit grazing his skin and his cock rubbing inside her beautifully, her head drops hanging between her shoulders as she takes it all in. Matt however doesn’t give her the chance, she’s still panting when he takes her breath away with a quick flick of the thumb against her nipples. “Mah-tt.”

“Gorgeous, you are just gorgeous.” His voice is deep and breathy and just adds to the sensations, giving her the will she needs to start a rhythmic grinding against him. He presses within her in all the right ways, giving her a deep sense of satisfaction as her clit rubs against him and his hands, oh his hands, they work wonderfully at her hardened buds.

Matt’s head falls back against the pillows, “Fuck, more.”

Needing no more encouragement than that, Alex starts a rapid rise and fall above him, taking him quick and fast because she just needs right now. It’s not long before her muscles start clenching around him, pleasure building to a peak, their breaths ragged and whimpers escaping - neither knows who they belong to, but it’s not important. “Alexxx,” he hisses below her, hands tightening on her hips, “I’m, ah, gonna-”

“Me too,” she breathes out, seeking just that little bit more so that she can let go. Matt’s hand slips between them, thumb pressing harder on her clit and that’s it. Her muscles ripple around him, thighs shuddering as her breath seeps away and vision blurs. From somewhere in her haze she hears Matt whimper her name and knows that he’s following her over the edge.

Her movements are stuttering and slowing, until she drops against him, utterly breathless and completely boneless. With an ear to his chest she hears his heartbeat rapid in his chest, matching the adrenaline and pleasure thundering through her veins. “I love you.”

It’s no more than a murmur but she hears it as he presses a kiss into her crown. “I love you, too.” She smiles against his chest and is overcome with a wave of exhaustion, eyes fluttering shut.

Matt holds her for a few moments, both of them catching their breaths - presuming that Alex’s legs have probably given out after the pace she just kept up. Stroking a hand down her spine she doesn’t stir and he gently speaks her name - nothing. Pulling the hair from her face, he looks down at her and sees her eyes are closed, breathing deep and even. She’s fallen asleep on him, cock softening and still within her it brings a smile to his mouth.

“Come on, darling.” He whispers, rolling her over and following her a little, gently slipping from within her as she sleepily snuggles back into him, legs around his own. Matt thinks he can live with this - some of the sites he read had told him she could be a hormonal nightmare - so far her hormones were rather working in his favour. Sure, there was the occasional tear in her eye or quick temper but really, he doesn’t mind. With her tucked into his side, sleepy breaths on his chest and his hand over her stomach he happily drifts into the world of slumber.

Chapter Text

The next morning Matt wakes when he becomes aware of Alex’s irregular breathing and half murmured whimpers and groans. Rolling over to look at her, he sees her eyes keep screwing shut and half formed words are tumbling from her lips, but he can’t grasp the meaning. Once he’s sure that she’s dreaming, he props himself up on one hand to watch her - rest is important and Alex is crabby if disturbed from sleep (he learnt that fairly early on in their relationship).

It is only when he hears his own name being whispered huskily, between ragged pants that he becomes aware of exactly the type of dream that she’s having. Oh how he does love her being pregnant.


A baby.


Ma-att.” Her spine curves up and eyelids flutter, his thoughts are pushed to the side quickly as he witnesses her body spasm a little, muscles taut and oh... he knows that look, those movements, that sound. She’s cumming. In her sleep. Damn, even in her dreams he’s that good.

Suppressing a smug smirk, he decides to see if he can’t enhance her enjoyment a little more. While she’s still jittering a little, he slyly reaches a hand beneath the sheets, eyes on her all the time, watching carefully, as two fingers slip through a small patch of hair to find her already swollen clit. A light touch and she gasps, eyes flickering open, “Ahh.”

It’s like a sigh of relief and contentment. Alex’s eyes are jet black with arousal, deep dark pools of lust clouding them and Matt smiles down at her, fingers teasingly dancing around her clit. “Hello there.” He mutters dirtily before leaning down to brush their lips together.

Alex reciprocates willingly and Matt feels as she deepens the kiss, her hips press down onto his hand harder - she wants more and boy is he willing to give it. Her hands are roaming his chest and back, a squeeze to his arse now and again, he can feel himself getting hard as his cock brushes against her stomach and makes him jump - pleasure shooting through him and pooling in his stomach. She hooks a leg over his hip and rolls them, suddenly pinning him to the mattress and hands already seeking his erection.

He twitches as her fingertips brush him but he can tell he just needs a moment or two, evidently she’s not keen to be kept waiting as she writhes above him. Matt’s hands occupy themselves on her arse but she’s grinding and insistent and in just seconds he’s fully hard and ready to go - whatever she wants.

Licking her lips, Alex flashes him a look of sleepy devilment and grasps him firmly before swiftly stroking him against her hot sex, opening herself up and teasing her entrance with just the head of his cock. Matt’s breath goes ragged - watching her mesmerised, unable to look away from how she’s almost playing with herself... with him. She’s so hot and slick on him, it’s hard resisting the urge to just buck up and sheath himself but this is about her now. He decided almost the second he found out she was pregnant that he’d do anything she wanted, whenever she wanted and in the bedroom is no exception.

Matt’s hands grip her arse, fingers digging into the fleshy cheeks and she wriggles against him, “Oh!” He feels her muscles clench around the little of him that she’s taken.

Smiling up at her, he encourages her, “Gorgeous. Go on, beautiful.” His words soft and rumbling. Their eyes meet once more and he watches twinkling emerald roll beneath her half lidded eyes as she lowers herself on trembling thighs. His own pleasure is nearly secondary from what he’s witnessing, sat above him naked, Alex Kingston has his cock within her spasming pussy, lips parted with heavy breathing and full breasts jutting out above her gently swollen stomach. Matt doesn’t think he’s ever seen a more pure sight in his life, she looks radiant, with her curls wild and loose down her back, skin glowing and so utterly at one with her needs.

His hand caresses the supple flesh beneath his palm as the other traces up her side, trailing fingertips to her breasts and flicking a nipple. She shudders, steadying her hands on his chest before she falls and it shifts the angle of him within her, she feels so tight around him, the near incoherent whimper she releases tells him to be patient.

With one hand tenderly cupping her breast, he takes hold of her hip and rolls his own a little. Alex shudders once more. “Fuck- Lex.

Nodding, she bites her lip seemingly gone to the world and doesn’t open her eyes, “Yes please.”

Matt begins to gently buck his hips up - it feels delicious and he wants to roll her over and fuck her into the mattress but he’s aware how insane this drives her and that’s better than any hard and fast shag. Gathering her wits a little, Alex takes a deep breath and starts responding to him, rolling her hips on him, they grind together in such an intimate way.

When he starts to feel her wetness drip down his testicles, Matt nearly loses it. The quiet, deep moans and whimpers were ceased, “More.”

Complying without hinderance Alex starts to rapidly lift herself above him, repeatedly taking him within her, it’ so much faster than he expected and Matt’s head hits the pillow with a grunt. Hands on her hips he takes some of the strain, trying to aid her desperate movements while her nails start digging into his chest. “Ahhh, yes, there yes, there.” Her eyes go wide, “Matt, yes.”

It’s just a whisper as she tightens impossibly around him and her rhythm falls apart, Matt follows her into ecstasy - letting the waves of arousal wash over him and feels a deep sense of satisfaction as he comes to.

Alex is breathing heavily and deeply, with the odd moan emanating from the mass of curls on his chest. He can feel how tightly her sweat slick hands grip his shoulders - muscles still clenching around his softening cock. Pressing a kiss into her hair, his hands stroke down her back soothing them both in their post-coital moments.

While her breathing calms, Matt notices that her muscles continue to seek friction, still clenching rhythmically around his cock... she wants more.

“Lex?” He pants.

No reply.

“You alright?”

She hears it as her head stops pounding and a stirring inside her makes her intimate muscles clench. Already, she can feel he’s going soft but she needs more from him.

“Mmm. Maybe try again to make sure?” She looks up at him from beneath some curls, only half joking. Matt’s eyes bulge and she groans in frustration, lowering her voice, still breathy from her orgasm, “Come on, darling.” Her fingers trail patterns on his chest and down his side, muscles trying to reach some kind of satisfaction. Wetly pressing kisses wherever she can reach, teeth scraping on a nipple, “Fuck me.”

Alex witnesses a guilt ridden expression pass his features and is confused, he’s not responding as enthusiastically as she’d thought (and hoped) he would. “Christ, your hormones are really something to behold-”

“What are you on about?” Her voice comes out a little sharply and she flinches a little, but feels entirely justified in her needs for more - it’s not like it’s unusual, it’s normally Matt who’s up for it again.

“I just mean, you’re all..” his arms flap beside her and settle for stroking her hips, she pushes herself up, holding herself against the bed, still with him inside her. Matt looks a little like a rabbit in the headlights, “Sensual. More often.”

There’s an awkward silence as her brow furrows and she straightens a little, she thought he enjoyed this; their intimacy. She knew all too well how much Matt loves sex. So why is he hesitating?

“Do you not-” a huff and she can feel tears welling up, fucking emotions, “Am I still attractive?”

Matt hurriedly puts his arms around her but she shucks him off, resenting her body for the way it shudders as she lifts herself off him to move away, barely suppressing a moan at the sensation.

“Lex, wait, c’mere,” he grabs at her waist trying to pull her back, but she’s determined that he won’t see that she’s crying. It’s pathetic. Crying over what? It’s all nothing really. But her eyes won’t stop.

She feels the bed move as he sits up and shuffles over to where she’s sat curled up hurriedly trying to get rid of tears. A warm hand strokes down her back and it just makes the tears fall faster. This just will not do, this has to stop. Stop crying. It’s nothing. But god what if? We never planned for this. Maybe I’m just unattractive now. Maybe he’s scared of me now. Bloody hell, stop crying.

A quiet voice is whispering at her ear, while he strokes her back still and keeps a precarious distance, “Of course I think you’re attractive. Don’t be silly.” Cringing a little for calling her silly he sits and waits on her.

Alex wipes her face with determination and blinks rapidly as she speaks. “Sorry. I don’t seem to be able to stop crying-” he chuckles softly, stroking firm circles into that spot in her back that makes her sigh.

“You’re fine, sweetheart. It’s half my fault anyway- actually no, probably a lot my fault.” Looking up at him she watches as he scratches at his neck nervously, “I’m tired is all.”

“We’ve just woken up.” Her brow creases and she sees him give a sheepish look.

Sighing, his cheeks flush a little pink that has nothing to do with his recent exertion, “Last night and this morning- I just, I don’t think I can y’know... go again. Right now.”

She’s worn him out? There’s a turn up for the books. She can’t help feeling he’d usually be more up for persevering though. “Oh-” The dejection and suspicion she feels must be showing as he interrupts.

“I’m nervous too.”

“Matt you can’t hurt the baby-”

“I know that. I mean, about telling my parents.” He fidgets and huffs pulling her into him, she lets herself fall this time, snuggling into his chest as her skin cools rapidly in the room - the pair of them still nude.

“Is it because of me?” It’s always a nag in the back of her head that, no matter how lovely Lynne and David were to her and to them, they’ll eventually expect him to meet someone more his own age.

Matt pulls away a little to look at her and she shivers at the chill of the air on her skin, “Why on earth? They love you.” A thoughtful pause, “I just don’t want them worrying, because I’m doing enough of it for everyone.”

“Everything should be alright, darling. I’m not putting myself at any more unnecessary risk.”

“But I worry. You should be worried if I don’t worry.” Another scratch of his chin and he pulls her back to him, using her as his own comfort blanket while confessing his insecurities, “It’s their first grandchild and it’s huge and so unexpected. I know they’re going to be happy but it’s just weighing on my shoulders a lot.”


“It’s not that I think you’re any less than the most beautiful and sexy creature I’ve laid eyes on, because you are and I will try and cater to every single one of your needs. Just a little anxious today.”

She walks her fingers up his bare thigh, thinking fast, “Anxiety that’ll probably be alleviated by spreading the joy?”

“Yeah.” Relief in his voice is reassuring. Especially if it means that he’ll be more willing to attend to her rampant libido.

“Let’s get up and going then.”

He gives her a firm squeeze, before they start getting dressed. Throwing his clothes across the room at him, she picks out something nice for him to wear. Lynne always appreciates it when he looks nice and always thanks Alex for making him put on something other than ridiculous jumpers occasionally.

Once they’re dressed they make their way to the kitchen to pick out some food. However, everything that Matt suggests seems to make her stomach turn and she’s on the verge of bypassing breakfast altogether, until he has a eureka moment, she sees the light bulb flicker on.



“From the corner shop, with the cheese and ham.”

Petting her stomach she smiles, “Yes, that I can do.”

So they set off arm in arm to the corner shop to pick up their breakfast. Out and about Alex keeps her coat drawn tightly around her, making sure it covers her stomach. It’s probably not noticeable to anyone passing by, but she feels like she has a neon sign screaming ‘pregnant’ over her head.

Matt makes their order and they wander back to the house, five minutes down the road. He carries his in a paper bag but Alex snatches hers from him, delving into the bag and sinking her teeth into the soft dough. “Mmm.”

He chuckles at her as she rolls her eyes in pleasure, a protective arm to her waist, “Just what the Doctor ordered.” Winking at her and she rolls her eyes exasperatedly at the terrible pun.

“Awful, darling. But god is this perfection.” She licks cream cheese from her lips and feels satisfied in her food choice, it’s hit the spot perfectly.

By the time they arrive at the front door, Alex is chewing on the last bite while Matt fumbles with the keys in the lock, chuckling at the way she effectively stuffed her face.

“Stoppit! Open the door.” But it’s mumbled around a mouthful of her breakfast. Matt merely bops her nose with a finger before gesturing for her to enter before him.

She disappears into the hallway to finish getting ready for their trip while Matt goes to eat his bagel in the kitchen. Giving a sharp warning to not get food on his nice clothes, she trots upstairs to properly sort her hair out instead of the quick bun she’d piled it into to get food.

Chapter Text

Both fed and watered, sonogram pictures collected, they climbed into Matt’s car and set off for his parents. After about an hour Matt notices an eery silence set over them, in the corner of his eye Alex seems tense. It gives him a bad flashback and he has to enquire as he shifts gear and glances at her, “Everything alright?”

She sucks in a breath and nods, “Yes. Little car sick.”

“If you want to stop, just say-”

“We’re over halfway, it’s fine.” Her voice is ragged with her breathing and he really doesn’t like the memories it’s bringing to the forefront of his mind.

Focussing on the road ahead - a journey he knows better than the back of his hand - he tries to keep the fear from creeping in. It’s just car sickness. Just another little indicator of the life inside her. He can’t help but worry though, this pregnancy’s going to destroy his nerves.

Sinking back into the silence, he attempts to keep his glances at a minimum (crashing would be decidedly awful), but about twenty minutes away from his parents house he catches her lolling against the seat and his heart nearly stops - she sighs heftily and jiffles a bit. Matt breathes again - she’s just fallen asleep.

As he pulls up the road to the house, he gently wakes her by softly calling her name and she comes to. “Where are we?” As she rubs at her eyes.

“Outside, look.”

“You could have woken me a little sooner, I’m all sleepy.” She yawns.

Parking up, he smiles at her, “Gorgeous.”



Giggling sleepily, she slinks from the car as he locks up. There’s a nervous fluttering in the pit of her stomach as she turns to look at the front door. She hugs herself and makes sure her top is baggy enough in the front before she takes Matt’s hand and heads up the driveway.

They’re seconds from the front door when Lynne walks out smiling at them, welcoming them both in with a hug.

“Oh, love, I’ve missed you! And Alex, what are you doing? You look younger than last time I saw you!” She takes Alex’s coat and hangs it up, walking off to the lounge and leaving Matt to dispose of his own.

“I do love coming here.” Beams Alex, a bounce in her step as she ventures towards the sofa and sits down. “How’re you doing?”

“We’re good, dear. Keeping busy. Not as busy as you obviously,” nodding her head towards the hallway where Matt still is, “I know he’s a full time job to live with.”

Chuckling, Alex replies, “I’m still trying to house train, but it’s touch and go.”

“More like he touches it and it goes off the nearest surface.”

“Thank you, mother.” Comes a deadpan voice from the doorway, they both turn to see him in his socks, jeans and shirt with folded arms glaring indignantly.

“Good boy,” she looks back to Lynne, “Basic manners could do with a little touch up though?”

“Oh yes, dear.”

The women giggle and Matt joins Alex on the sofa muttering about it being unfair and outnumbered.

“Where’s dad?”

“On his way, he’s in the shed. I just shouted for him as I saw you pull up though.” She turns towards the doorway and glances back, “Drinks?”

“Coffee please.” Matt says, reverting a little back to being a boy.

“Just water would be lovely, thank you.”

Nodding, Lynne heads to the kitchen and Matt’s hand takes Alex’s. He’s looking a little pained, she can’t say she feels easy about why they’re visiting now. He’d been there for her when they told her parents so now was her turn... if she could figure out how. Circling her thumb on the back of his hand she’s about to speak when he does instead.

Murmuring quietly, “How’s the sickness?” His own thumb mirroring her patterns.

“Just a bit uneasy. It’s going though, probably just nerves.”

He nods and seems to be holding in his nerves, probably on the verge of breaking with it as Lynne re-enters the room carrying their drinks, David following her with two more, presumably for themselves.

“Alright, dad?” Matt greets him as he gratefully accepts his drink.

“Drowning in junk out there-” nudging his head towards the abandoned shed outside, “What about the darling Alex?” His eyes fall warmly onto her.

Sipping on the glass of water she’s just been handed, she nods, “I’m good, thank you.” And pregnant with your grandchild.

Everyone’s settled and seated, a quiet comes over them all as they drink and Lynne jumps in, “So, to what do I owe the pleasure? It normally has to be a special occasion to get you both at once.”

It’s the perfect time, because it is a special occasion, but she’d been expecting them to get the conversation going first before they drop the bombshell. Thinking about it, if they get going, they can’t really drop it in later can they. Oh god, they hadn’t discussed how this was actually going to go and now she’s regretting it.

Her internal panic is cut through as Matt seems to speak without concern, “Actually, it is a special occasion.”

She sips on her drink as distraction, she just can’t bring herself to say it to them - she feels as though she’ll be letting them down. His hand takes hers and she feels his clammy palm, he needs to do this his way and she’ll take on whatever role he needs. They need to find out after all.

Lynne’s eyebrows shoot up and a smile breaks across her face, “You’re not? Oh, I’ve been waiting for this - let me see it!”

What on earth is going on? She can’t possibly know. Even I didn’t expect this so she can’t have a clue- her hand is being picked up and held and the older woman gawps between her hand and the pair of them, who are both equally stunned.

“Have you not picked out a ring yet?”

Oh. Bollocks. The excitement bodes well though... at least she seems happy to see me attached to him...

David picks up on their shock and nudges his wife, “I don’t think that’s it, love.”

Settling back, Lynne takes them in and Alex balls up her hand. Matt has twined his fingers with her other one and she gives him a look, not sure how to play this - she’d never thought about it before but what if they would prefer them to be married now?

His lips are parted and he licks at them nervously, before nodding at her and looking at his parents, arm going around her waist, “The thing is, well, you’re gonna, um, we’re-” he sighs, looking down at her where she’s nestled into his side, Alex stares intently at their joined hands, in the end the words come of with a sense of reverence, “Alex is pregnant.”

Her vision blurs up with tears as she feels a kiss pressed into her temple, his grip on her tightening. Looking up with a small sniffle, she sees tears in Lynne’s eyes too and David sat back smiling, both seem to be shocked. She just prays it’s good news to them.

“I- I didn’t know you’d... I presume, you, well,” Lynne leans forwards, struggling to string together words, whispers a little to Alex, “Matt said you couldn’t...”

Surprised a little that he’d told them, then again, she supposes it would have come up and of course they’d know, it was barely a secret.

“It was a-” Bloody hell, she can’t believe what she’s about to infer to his parents, “A surprise.”

“Oh.” Sitting back, Lynne looks at the pair of them, hand over her mouth before letting out an incredulous laugh.

Matt’s hand is stroking ferocious little circles into her waist, keeping his arms around her middle, “She’s about three months. We’ve seen it and heard it and everything. There’s... there’s a scan for you to look at if you want..” he trails off now, nervous to the extreme.

“Give us a look then,” his dad speaks up, smile playing on his lips and a shine to his eyes. Matt loosens his grip on her and nods at him, going into the hall to fetch back Alex’s handbag, picking the pictures out of it and handing them a copy. Lynne shuffles to the edge of the sofa to look, and David takes the copy. They study it for a second before Matt crouches to point out the tiny head and body on the small half formed being.

He studies them as he sits back next to her and smiles, arm back around her, sneaking a stroke of her stomach with his other hand he quickly withdraws it to her knee. They sit watching the pair study the image, Lynne seems to be tracing something, smile on her lips and she laughs, “I’m too young to be a grandma.”

Matt chuckles, “Says the woman who’s been asking for grandchildren since I turned eighteen.”

“Who knows?” David cuts in.

Alex realises how many people will have to find out, “Just family for now. My parents, Salome and my ex-husband- had to really-”

“Leave us ‘til last, eh, son?” Matt scratches at the back of his head and looks sheepishly at his dad.

“Well we only found out recently and decided to tell people these last two days. Needed a bit of time to take it all in really.” He smiles down at her and she grins back.

“I can see why, good lord. Ha! That’s brilliant, ohh we have to tell Laura. What about Doctor Who? I thought you were going back Alex?” She seems to be letting out a stream of consciousness as she digests the information and Alex is more than willing to let her. They’re taking it well, they’re just happy expectant grandparents and that’s more than she could have hoped for.

“Well- I’ll have to talk to them. It’s not really the first thing to mind right now, there’s a lot to consider.”

“Well of course, if you need anything, love, you can just ask y’know.” A reassuring smile graces her face and Alex takes note that Lynne would like to be involved somehow. “So, you’re looking after her then, Matthew?”

His brows raise and he replies with a certainty, “Absolutely. Think it’s gonna destroy my nerves-”

“Then stop hankering-”

“I am not. I worry.”

They’re little moment is interrupted by David guffawing, he pats his thigh and informs Matt, “You’re doing fine then. You’ll never be right.” Which earns him a joking slap on the arm from Lynne.

“How’re you coping, dear? I know it can’t be easy...” His mother delicately enquires, trying to get answers from Alex without being too obvious as to exactly what she means.

Wiping at her eyes, Alex smiles, happy to oblige, “Great actually. I just have to be slightly more careful, keep my eye on things more than with Salome because of, you know,” a slight shrug and she speaks a little quieter, “My age.”

Lynne merely nods, “Well I can’t imagine a better woman. It’s odd to think that your age might cause problems, you’re so young, lovely.”

“Well I don’t know about that, thank you!” The arm around her squeezes a little and Matt interjects.

“I did tell you.” Proud smirk gracing his lips, making her giggle.

The drink she’s been offered and amount she’s chuckling trigger another symptom she’s just starting to deal with too, “Excuse me a moment, just need to pop to the loo.”

The conversation continues cheerily behind her as she walks to their downstairs toilet, fully familiar with the house. Alex is so relieved that they’re taking it so well, they always have been rather welcoming to her and Matt as a couple - after the initial shock. Once they saw how close they were they quickly welcomed her to the family. When she was filming in the area they opened their house to her and even if she didn’t stay with them she always made a point to visit.

If she really thinks, it was obvious that they’d be happy for them. The only reason she thought they’d want him to have someone younger was to give him everything he wanted - now, she guesses, she can do that, she is doing that. Completely giving him everything someone younger can offer... it takes her a moment to wrap her head around.


Matt suppresses a laugh as Alex leaves for the toilet - he found it slightly amusing how often she needed to go, which earned him a look that could kill at home. Downing the last of his tea, he brushes his hair back with a hand and looks at his parents. He never thought he’d be mature enough for this moment to occur, he supposes he still isn’t but he’s making the effort now.

“Are you happy?” He sees the wrinkle in his mother’s brow as she asks.

His copies her, “Of course. It’s... I know what I said,” a quick glance over his shoulder in the direction of the hallway Alex disappeared into, “But I do want this. I mean, I could barely believe it when she told me - I am so happy though.”

Aware that all of them are reliving a moment about eight months previous, when he’d mentioned that he was thinking of asking her to move in with him. Without wishing to put him off, they’d made sure he was doing the right thing and had thought everything through. This included pointing out how he’d probably never have a family, like he’d wanted. It’s a difficult topic to discuss with ones parents and he said he was happy with it, there was Salome, but he was happy enough to be with her and didn’t want the complications of a baby.

Of course, a large portion of that had been to put their minds at rest. As happy as he was to be with her and Salome, he always wondered if he could just mention adoption, he knew how much it could hurt them, her especially. Now he’ll never need to because she’s carrying his child and he’s not sure how he’ll ever thank her enough.

“You’re very lucky, sweetheart.” Lynne’s eyes glaze over, unshed emotion filling them up.

“I know. I don’t know what I’ve done, but I’ll never stop being thankful.” Everything feels lighter now. They know and they’re taking it well and it’s... real. He’s going to be a dad and the more people they tell the more he feels like he’s fitting into the role. With some uncertainty, he dares ask them a question, “Are you happy, both of you? You’re going to be grandparents.”

Tears slip down his mother’s cheek as she grins, “I’m gonna be a grandma! Of course I’m happy you silly lad.”

Both he and his father chuckle at her, his father placing an arm around her shoulders and grinning at Matt, “Don’t be daft, we’ve been waiting for today since you were born.” A thoughtful pause before his eyes shine a little with tears he won’t shed, “You’ll see.”

Oh god, he will won’t he? He’s going to find out all that stuff they said and he never understood. He hears Alex sniffle in the doorway as she enters, it’s endearing how she has all these little things that he notices, that are new. Beaming at her, he pats the sofa near him and relaxes next to her when she sits, arm across the sofa behind her. He feels much more at home now they’re not hiding anything.

“Alex, are you showing already?” His mum sounds incredulous, voice raising a few decibels.

He sees her self conscious fidget as she moves the loose jumper she’s taken off away from her stomach and expose the form fitting vest she has beneath it. Sucking in a breath at the way the shirt stretches to accommodate a slight podge, usually they rest neatly across a flat stomach.

“Well, I think so a little bit, but it looks a little more like I ate too much really.”

He notes how his dad doesn’t linger on her and looks elsewhere, a little uncomfortable with staring at his son’s girlfriends body. Lynne however has no such problems, “Oh no, I saw it when you came in. You’re always so trim and tiny that I couldn’t help it. Sorry.”

“No, no. It’s fine, I quite like it.” She pets her stomach affectionately before straightening and sitting up. A knock at the front door cut through the moment and David coughs, getting up to answer it.

Lynne looks at her conspiratorially, watching as he leaves the room, “I noticed that your chest is filling out quite well too.” She giggles at her and Alex joins in. Matt feels a little hot under the collar, not sure how to react at his mother mentioning these things before him. He doesn’t want to let on that he’s noticed such things to her because it’s just not right in his head.

“Calm down darling, I did wait until your father left the room.” Damn, she must have noticed his expression. Now lost for words he strokes his hair back and flusters at the little sly grin Alex shoots at him.

He feels exhausted already, today has taken quite a toll on him and he’s sure Alex will want to have a rest too. Just then, his father walks through the door announcing Laura’s arrival.

Today, it seems, has only just begun.

Chapter Text

Another two hours, much squealing and hugs later; Laura was informed on her impending status of Auntie. They’d left them all copies of the scan and Matt found the perfect get out when Alex looked at him with tired eyes and a meaningful look. They waved to everyone as they drove off and by the time they hit the motorway Alex was asleep again.

“Sleep-y he-ad.” Matt trills as he parks up in the driveway. She snuffles and blinks her eyes open, it’s the most adorable sight, leaning over to press the button on her seat belt. Stroking her cheek affectionately, “Let’s get you in and fed, ay?”

“Mmm, food.” She smiles as she rubs at her eyes and lets herself out the car.

In the house, she goes and  lies down on the lounge floor on her back, stretching her arms up above her, legs bent at the knee, feet flat on the floor. What on earth was she doing? Asking is probably best.

“What are you doing?”

Sighing, she jiffles, rolling on her side a little, “Stretching. You shouldn’t let me sleep in the car.”

“Have you hurt your back?” That would not be good, he has to see to that.

“Just a bit of a crick.”

Right then, only one thing to do. “Roll over, let me rub it better.”

To his utter surprise she objects, shaking her head, “I can’t, darling.”

“No funny business, just a back rub.”

Devious smirk gracing her features, “Actually, I was rather hoping for some funny business. It’s just uncomfortable to lay on my stomach now.”

Ah, yes. Baby. It must feel strange to have your insides change in a way no one else can detect. She’s still looking for some funny business though and he’s pretty sure than he can help her out with that, getting onto the floor behind her he rolls her further onto her side and lays behind her, head propped up on his hand. With his free hand he firmly strokes down her spine, watching her arch into his touch planting kisses on her neck and enjoying the way she nuzzles her face back into him.

“Mmm, can you do that thing with my shoulders?” As he watches her eyes flicker shut and a satisfied smile appears.

He lies on his side, using both hands to firmly rub circles into her shoulders with his thumbs feeling the way she rolls them into him. Shoulder and back massage was a sure-fire way to get her purring and mewling, shortly before she pounced at him. Luckily, he’s always been quite good at massage and how receptive she was made for very good feedback. His fingers dip into her neck muscles, pressing flatly with the pads of his fingers and pulsing down on her.

He continued to work at her neck and shoulders until her breath went ragged and her arse met his groin, grinding into him and a happy purr as she found his arousal evident against her. Hissing at the contact, his hands began to roam forwards, getting to grips with her full and heaving chest enjoying her resulting shiver.

Within half an hour he has her cumming twice and ready at last for a proper rest.


Soon enough, Matt has to go back to work and they’re starting to feel somewhat ready to share with Steven at least. Fairly sure that they can trust him with the news until they sort something more public out, he kept their relationship quiet for a while too so they’re in safe hands. He gives Alex a good kiss, making her stay in bed to sleep, before he leaves promising to be back in a few days for their appointment.

As she hears the door slam, a sense of loneliness creeps over her. Shortly before the need for another of those bagels he’d fetched before. Deciding that trying to sleep is useless, she gets out of bed, checking down herself; a new habit, to see the progress of her belly and hell-o boobs. She palms them, noting their weight and suppleness, discovering their sensitivity.

Wandering into the bathroom, she turns on the showerhead and waits for the water to warm up while assessing herself in the mirror. It’s much easier when Matt’s not around, he tends to try and distract her, probably worrying that she’s being overly critical - honestly, she doesn’t really mind because she’s doing something amazing. Catching her reflection she notes how her nipples look slightly different, a little darker maybe a little larger - that’s probably what he was looking at so intently last night while she was above him.

A thumb strokes over one and she realises how much Matt must be adapting to her, his fascination with them has only grown and he’s rarely done something to trigger their tenderness, but the way a simple brush of them feels, she’s certain it’s all too easy to cause pain (not willing to find out however, not after an incident involving his teeth). Bless him, he must be really paying attention.

She climbs into the shower and relishes the feel of the hot water over her skin, it feels so sensual against her that she just stands and takes it in for a moment, nothing to do for the day except potter about the house. As the heat crashes over her, she begins to think about last night, and the night before that, and the one before that... actually... there’d been quite a lot of times recently. Matt really was rather obliging to her needs.

Without much thought her hand is slipping between her legs while a thumb brushes a nipple, fingers flicking over her clit and her legs go weak. Leaning back against the shower wall she moans as the water cascades in rivulets over her sensitive flesh, urging her fingers further down, between her folds and into the wet heat. Not wanting to spend time indulging herself, rather just seeking instant gratification, they curl within her quickly, stroking that rough patch over and over, hips joining the motion.

The hand on her breast skims down her body to flick and pinch at her clit, continuing to drive herself higher with the fingers inside herself. Heat is coursing through her, an undeniable dam of arousal about to burst free from within. Remembering the way Matt looked up at her from between her thighs, lips suckling at her clit, such a devious and dirty look while he performed unspeakably filthy moves on her intimacy- she comes undone, breathlessly panting, sure that Matt’s name slips out among the haze.

Holding herself against the wall for a moment while she feels the adrenaline and pleasure thrum through her, she smirks, feeling much more capable of washing herself before going about her day.


Back at work Matt feels different, it’s been such a short time that he was away but his whole world has been shifted.  He feels like a different man and now he wants to shout from the rooftop that he’s going to be a father, that he got Alex pregnant. His masculine pride is absolutely on form, so, remembering their agreement that he could tell Steven if a time came and he felt up to it, he seeks out the Moff.

Waving to a few of the crew as he passes he finds Steven in a room by himself and knocks quietly, clearing his throat and wandering in as Steven raises his brow. This was probably going to go well, probably. Of course there’s the small problem that it means one of his cast is about to become unable to work.

“Smith! What can I do you for?” Scottish brogue thick, smirk on his cheeks.

Scratching his neck, Matt thinks maybe approaching as a friend is the better option, “I, err, needed to talk actually.”


“Yeah, got some news and- can we chat, just between you and me?” He looks intent, trying to show that he really would appreciate confidentiality.

Brow raised in question, Steven goes to shut the door and take a seat beside a table, gesturing to another for Matt. “What is it then?”

“Well, it’s about me and Alex...” A myriad of emotion crosses Steven’s face but he nods and waits for Matt to go on, “There’s never a way to say this. Thought I’d have it figured by now. Hum, well,” He meets the older mans eyes, “She’s pregnant.”

Steven appears to stop breathing. “She’s what?”

“We’re having a baby.” Still feeling surreal to say it aloud, Steven evidently isn’t catching on.

“Alex is actually with child.”

“If you wanna be Victorian about it, yeah.” Laughing a little at the preposterous situation they are in.

“Congratulations! I’m supposing this is some kind of shock then?” He eyes Matt carefully and the younger man nods vigorously, “Wow, there’s a boost for your manhood.”

“Ha! I suppose.” Beaming, before remembering something, “I don’t suppose you could keep this quiet until we’re more public...”

“Of course! Say no more.” Steven is more than excited, rubbing his hands together he winks, “I guess there’s room on the TARDIS for a nursery.”

“Hmm?” Matt’s attention catches a brow raises, “Really? River?” Steven’s chuckling to himself, and Matt just rolls his eyes, “As if my life wasn’t complicated enough.”


They’ve been parted just three days when her appointment rolls around and she looks forward to seeing Matt for a few hours. With his insane schedule he’s only able to drop by to attend the appointment, make sure she’s okay and head back to Cardiff. As ever, he insists on picking her up and driving there, even though he’s driven a good few hours to be there.

“You alright, sweetheart?” He flicks her a cute smile as she climbs in and he starts up the car.

“Yep. Just want everything to be okay really-”

“It’ll be fine, Lex.” His hand covers hers reassuringly, giving a squeeze before going back to the gear stick and getting them on the way.

It’s a short journey, but it feels like forever to Alex. The wait to be seen is nearly unbearable, she permanently fidgets - not helped by the amount she had to drink and retain for one of the scans. Matt does his best to help her temper, but when he anxiously taps his fingers on the chair arm she hisses with such venom, “For god’s sake, Matthew.”

Just then her obgyn calls her in and Matt trails behind, tentative hand to the small of her back, knowing how she usually likes the comfort. Inside they’re talked through various tests she can have for things that are an increased risk due to her age. It’s rather scary but her doctor reassures them that it’s just to cover all bases and they don’t have to have anything.

Alex is nearly used to having Matt beside her, eyes intent on the moving image of their little blob while someone uncomfortably presses the probe around her stomach. He is not however, used to the noises of complaint she will make as the sonographer presses too hard or against her bladder. Every time she makes a noise he’s full of concern and doting, it’s adorable but she just rolls her eyes at him.

It’s taking awhile and she gives up teasing Matt, waiting with baited breath on any information. Not long before the sonographer sympathetically informs her, “Sorry, but I can’t quite get the right view- if you’re willing to try an internal scan I’m likely to be able to get the detail I need.”

Great. “I suppose.”

Matt’s brow is furrowed and she squeezes her hand as she gets up, heading to a side room to get ready while the sonographer disappears too. All they want is to know that everything will be okay.


An uncomfortable experience later, for both Alex physically and Matt emotionally, they are informed that there appears to be no raised risk of birth defects. They let out a sigh they were unaware they were holding in and thanks to the extra time getting said results had taken, Matt has enough time to drop Alex at home, giving her a kiss before heading back to Cardiff.

It wasn’t quite how she wanted to spend the little time he had free but there were bigger things to worry about, so she waves him off with a happy, protective hand over her barely there stomach.

Chapter Text

Due to a few loose ends in a recent project, Alex has to wait another eight days before she can see Matt, travelling up to Cardiff to see him and spend some time with friends. That night, she has a theatre date with Arthur; he’s bought them tickets for a play he thought she’d enjoy. Taking the opportunity, Matt invites Karen up too and takes her out to their favourite restaurant for a catch up. This time, there’s an ulterior motive, they’re going to break the news to their friends and hopefully they’ll be able to contain their excitement.


Matt’s back at the flat when she pulls in, he greets her with a kiss, hand slyly brushing her stomach as he whispers a ‘hello’ in her ear that she knows is not for her. Pressing a kiss to his cheek she grins, “Fetch the bags in then, darling.”


He bows, heading to the boot to pick up her small haul of luggage for the couple of nights she’s staying, while Alex goes straight in - thoroughly ready for a cup of tea and a rest... and maybe a trip to the nearest loo.


When Matt catches up inside she’s emerging from the bathroom and he smirks, “I forgot about your little habits.”


Cocking her head, “It’s not a habit, Matthew. It’s your bloody progeny weighing on my internal organs.”


He chuckles as he places her bags through the bedroom doorway, turning back to her, “It’s just a tiny little thing. Poor... it. Blamed by it’s mother before it’s even born.” He scrunches his face, “You’re gonna be a mum.”


“I already am.”


“But to my baby...” He looks surprised.


“Do you need a seat, dear?” Laughing at him a little. She did enjoy when these moments crept up on him and he became shocked all over again. Frowning at her, he sticks his tongue out.


“I’m fine thanks.” Stretching up, he links his arm through hers and leads the way to the kitchen, “So, my dear, what have you been up to in my absence?”


“Work was relatively easy, to be honest, I think they could have managed without me- redubbed some scenes.” A shrug and a smirk, she elbows him a little, “Longer showers.”


Matt looks utterly perplexed, as she goes to raid the fridge, “I never stopped you before...” He scratching his head as she nibbles on a bit of cheese she broke off.


Leaning back against the worktop she smirks again and gives him a look, obviously he’s had a long day, he’s not following her at all. “I had needs to tend to seeing as you were working.”


Oh.” His eyes darken a touch and he smiles goofily, coming over to rest his hands on her hips and place a tender kiss on her cheek, “So sorry about that, love.”


“Wondering if you want to catch up on what you’ve missed...” she trails off leaving wet kiss across his jaw and although he tilts his head for her, there’s little other reaction. His hands draw up to her waist, fingers circling on her back.


“Thought we were taking the kids out tonight. Spread the joy.” He points out as he brushes their noses.


“Well I have two hours ‘til I meet Arthur and I know what will take you approximately five minutes of it-”




“I wasn’t thinking of you love.” She smirks, biting her lip mischievously.


“Never say that to me in bed. Ever.” A kiss is pressed to her lips and there’s a knock at the door, he draws back quickly. “Fuck- that’ll be Kaz. Told her another hour though, christ.”


With their moment well and truly ruined, Alex readies herself for Karen’s greeting and tries to be inconspicuous about her physical state. After many hugs and exclamations, Matt disappears with Karen, whispering a good luck in her ear as he pecks her cheek and ducks out the house. Now all she has to do is look forward to a nice evening with Arthur... and figure the appropriate time to drop in that she’s pregnant. Easy.




Their busy nights had ended quite well and they had a contented nights sleep. Matt rolls out of bed at 6am, trying his best not to wake Alex but failing miserably. She blinks and smiles at him sleepily, not moving from where she’s nestled in the duvet - it’s tangled around her in ways he can’t fathom but she says she can’t get comfy at night so he doesn’t argue.


“Sorry, I’ll leave quietly.” He mumbles lowly as he drops his boxers on the way to the shower, “Want me to bring you up a cuppa in a mo’?”


“Mmm,” she stretches out luxuriously, “Go on then.”


He winks before ducking into the bathroom for a quick shower and Alex twists in the bed. She feels strange laying down and no amount of maneuvering quite fixes it, so she gets up to head to the kitchen in a pair of knickers and one of Matt’s t-shirts. As soon as she gets to the stairs she regrets not putting on a bra - as much as she loves her new cleavage, its becoming a problem. Each step leaves her feeling slightly bruised as she lacks the coordination at this time in a morning to tread more lightly. Folding her arms around herself to curb the bounce, she shuffles into the kitchen and puts the kettle on.


Poor Matt has to go to work anyway, she can go back to bed so she wants to look after him a little. Preparing mugs, she spoons out coffee for him and gags a little at the smell (a newly acquired distaste), putting a tea bag in her own while waiting on the kettle to boil. She’s just got the tea and coffee made as Matt drifts in naked, drying his hair, her brows raise as she gains distance from his coffee.


He looks shocked to see her up, and drops the towel to his neck, quickly holding up a warning finger to her, “This is not a proposition - I don’t have time!”


Giggling, Alex points over at his cup, practically purring, “Made you coffee... are you sure?”


“I’m leaving in fifteen and I still haven’t eaten-”


“I know a way to kill two birds with one stone-”


An exasperated sigh escapes him, covering his manhood with one hand lamely, feeling rather exposed now, “Lex, you are bloody insatiable. I’m very sorry but you’re left to your own devices this morning.”


Alex pouts at him, “But I didn’t pack any of my devices.”


Matt nearly chokes on his coffee before rolling his eyes and one handedly dropping bread into the toaster, still drinking. It gives Alex a rather delicious view of his arse and she has to drag her eyes away or she’ll simply have to do something.


“Do you always get ready for work naked?” Cocking her head at him, she lets her eyes roam again - well he did turn around didn’t he... Matt clearly catches her line of sight as his hand quickly covers himself once more, giving her a stern look.


“Yes. I do. It’s convenient. Now, m’lady, can you sort yourself out so you don’t molest me with your eyes- or hands- when you drop by this afternoon?”


“Yes, sir.” Nodding at him obediently.


“Good girl, sure you’ll be alright?”


Sighing once more, “I’m fine. It’s just Steven that knows right?” Matt nods as he finishes his coffee and puts it on the sideboard. “Then I’ll be fine. Jenna can just think I weigh this much normally- for a bit anyway.”


Matt ‘tsks’ and turns to butter his toast speedily, not bothering to plate it up. He has however, learnt better than to disagree with her over her appearance - there are lines she cannot cross when making negative comments about herself, but he knows them and he has to give her leeway to rant. Alex drifts past him, cheekily pinching his bum as she grabs a few biscuits from the tin. “Oi!”


“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” She bats her lashes at him, nibbling on a jammy dodger and heading back up to bed. Matt will be up in a moment to get changed anyway and she wouldn’t want to miss that.


Laying back down in bed, she nestles in comfortably and finds herself a patch, thinking she can drift back to sleep, she hears his steps on the stairs and whinges a little at the sight of his grand entrance to the room, head about the right height on the bed to catch all his good angles. Hearing his answering snigger, she groans as she pulls the duvet over head. To be honest sometimes her desires even make her fed up - the near immediate tingling she feels between her legs at the simplest sexual suggestions, mind you, there doesn’t even need to be sexual connotations for her to find it arousing. Somehow, the notion of a man thinking with his penis makes much more sense to her now.


Feeling a little like her reproductive organs are hijacking her life, she shivers and peeks up out the duvet to see Matt; fully dressed and quickly brushing his hair back, eyes trained on her emerging form.


“Hey there.”


“Hi. What time are you leaving tonight?” She enquires.


Dropping the brush on the dressing table, he goes over to her and brushes wild curls from her forehead, “About fivish, early one tonight. What time are coming over to see people?”


She hums, “About four then- you are taking the car this morning aren’t you?”


“Yes dear.” He deadpans and receives a duvet covered punch on the arm, “You can pick me up tonight, thanks everso.” Giving her the most heartwarming smile, he places a kiss on her nose and a chaste one to her lips, the sound of his drivers horn rings out and he gets up.


“See you later, darling.”


“Have a good rest yeah?” Always concerned, grabbing his jacket about to head out.


Sighing, “I’ll get plenty more sleep, stop fretting. Now get gone.” With a wink and an air kiss he’s out the bedroom door and she hears the flat door shut moments later.


Alex closes her eyes and drift back into sleep easily.




Waking up, Alex feels well rested and checks her phone to see the time, 1 o’clock... no wonder I feel rested. Picking herself up out the bed, she drags her waking limbs to the bathroom to see to herself and start getting ready to drop by the set. Within an hour she’s washed, dressed, made up and fed, heading out to the car. As she locks the door behind her she looks down and checks that her jumpers plenty baggy, plucking at it a little - it’s probably all in her head but the rounding of her stomach is becoming more obvious and she’s not sure if she wants them to think that she’s just gained weight.


She climbs into the car and pulls out her phone, firing off a quick text to Matt:


On my way over, too boring at the flat to stay away from you for another three hours. ;) See you soon xx


Taking a quick drink of water, she turns the keys in the engine and sets the radio when she hears her phone go and decides to check it before leaving - it wouldn’t be a first if he’s left something at home.


More like you can’t bear being in bed alone touching yourself!! Drive safely sweethearts x   


Cheeky bastard. But her heart melts at at the endearment and she chuckles, “Daddy’s waiting- oh god.” Talking to it when it’s barely even visible, she kinda likes it though. But for now it’s between her and herself.

Careful now, darling. We will xx

Chapter Text

She drops her phone back into her bag on the passenger seat and pulls her belt around herself, revving the engine and setting off. There’s a sense of coming home every time she drives to the studio, she’s spent so much of the last few years there and made such important relationships among that close knit family that it’s always a joy to head back. The whole journey there she’s more than happy to wait at red lights, humming along to the radio.


On arrival, she easily finds space in the carpark, choosing somewhere near the trailers and entrance to the studio. Slipping out the car she shivers a little at the chill of the air and straightens herself, plucking once more at her jumper, mentally scolding herself for the paranoia she feels.


“Alex!” Her name’s being shouted from across the lot and she presses the button to lock her car, placing the keys within her bag and turning to see from whom the greeting emanates.


It’s a member of the crew and she greets them with a hug, exchanging pleasantries as they walk in towards the studio. He tells her about Matt’s mistakes of the day and asks about when she’s coming back, to which she gives her usual reply, ‘Spoilers.’ On the way she sees several other people that she waves at, or has a chat with, a hug and it feels far too long since she were last here. Best of all, no one even seems to note anything different about her - it’s definitely in her head.


Mid-conversation with one of the lovely props girls she starts to notice a slight twinge in her lower stomach, not being in a situation where she can go sit by herself and just wait it out she starts to panic - not wanting anyone to notice. It’s a vicious cycle and she could throttle herself for it. Carrying on she hears a break being called while some lights are set up and keeps her eyes on the periphery to spot Matt. Engaging in conversation, more people join them and with a group it’s easier to keep it flowing; starting to introvert on herself as she feels more cramp in the right hand side of her lower abdomen. It’s nothing. These things happen. It used to happen all the time with Salome, stop thinking, just join in and have a laugh.


She can’t do it however and withdraws, smiling half heartedly as she leaves them with the intention of finding Matt and getting the key to his trailer. Instead, she bumps into Steven. Damn. He beams broadly at her and pulls her into a bear hug, “Miss Kingston!” She smiles and hugs him back, about to let go but he holds her a second longer, whispering by her ear, “Congratulations. Don’t worry about work.” It’s so heartfelt and his words so warming that she’s silenced. Then he pulls away and she doesn’t know what to say, he merely winks at her.


“Thank you-” is all she can come up with, before her body kindly reminds her of the uncomfortable ache in her lower stomach. Without thinking her hand goes straight to it and soothes at it mindlessly, some part of her subconscious telling her it’s okay around Steven.


“Been looking after yourself then?” He’s smiling and nods towards where her hand is placed. Alex seems a little distracted and winces, “Are you alright?” Looking up she sees his face crinkled with concern.


“Yes, just need to sit down or- have you seen Matt?” She asks hopefully. If she can just get laid down in his trailer and relax, it’ll go away.


Nodding he points, “He went straight to his trailer, you sure you’re okay?”


“Yes, it’s nothing. Tired I suspect.” She smiles as she feeds him a line and thanks him before wandering off for Matt’s trailer, hand decidedly not on her stomach. Mostly.


Until she gets to his door and finds it locked. Thumping on it, while her hand strokes at her stomach, “You get your arse to this door right now, Matthew-”


“Yes m’lady-” He answers with a beam, grandly sweeping to let her in and stops, the uncomfortable look on her face and her stroking hand making him pause, “Are you alright? Get in, love.”


He ushers her in and his arms go around her, guiding her to the bedroom - it’s where they spent most of their time in his trailer, even if they were just relaxing, it was cosier and comfier to do so in. “What’s up? Is it the baby?”


“Just an ache, nothing to worry about. If I lay down it goes.” She informs him quickly to stop his mithering, dropping her handbag inside the doorway and flopping down onto the bed, taking a few moments with his pillows to make herself comfy. “And there we go.”


Matt, bless him, is stood in full Doctor kit, frowning at her, “Shouldn’t you get checked out, just in case?”


“It happens now and again. It’s normal.”


“Is it that ligament thingy?” He enquires as he takes a space next to her on the bed, cross legged.


Impressed with his knowledge and evident research, they hadn’t yet had time to do it together, Alex smiles, “Yes, I suppose. My, who’s a clever boy.”


He preens and straightens his bow tie. Quieting some, he looks down at the suvet a little before meeting her eyes sincerely, “I do want to understand things. You have to live through it, so I should at least be aware.”


Heart fluttering in her chest, Alex smiles as she jiffles, stretching herself and curling in on her side around a pillow. For some reason she felt her eyes welling up and rolled her eyes, which caused her to shed the tears. Wiping at her eyes, she moans, “Ugh. I’m either crying, horny, peeing or sleeping.”


Matt chuckles  and strokes her side, “And it’s only gonna get better from here.”


“Don’t remind me.” She laughs back at him as her vision clears, “Stop being so bloody cute. There are only two outcomes; crying or sex.”


“Don’t I know it.” He sounds fed up but he’s smirking at her. “Wanna sleep?”


“No, just wait for this to settle... maybe eat?” She’s sounding hopeful, hopeful that he’ll take a hint and fetch something. With a thoroughly worn out look he gets from the bed and disappears to the kitchenette, she can hear the kettle and some clattering about. Now and then he’ll sing something loudly to annoy her and she’ll holler for him to shut up, but within 10 minutes he’s back with supplies.


Bagels with cheese and ham and steaming cups of tea. Her eyes light up as she sits herself up to take the plate, “It’s times like this I remember why I don’t mind your child destroying me mentally and physically.” Keenly taking a bite she tries to smile, reassuring him that she doesn’t really mind so much. He’s been taking a lot of it to heart and she doesn’t really bemoan a single second of it.


“I think it’s beautiful. All of it. You’re like wonder woman- you’re eating a sandwich and knitting a human.” He stares at her, smiling a little at his metaphor.


Giggling, she bites into her bagel once more and they settle into a quiet lull as they fill their stomachs and sip on their drinks. Finishing up laid against the headboard with her tea in her hands as she drains it, Alex feels her eyelids starting to droop and the need for a little peaceful nap overcomes her. With Matt laid out by her side, propped on his elbow reading through a few pages of script for the last few scenes, she twiddles with his hair enjoying the sensation of the silky strands between her fingers and shuts her eyes for a second.




When her eyes open once more the room is dim and she feels very alone, blinking and untangling her arms from the sheet that’s been pulled over her, she notices a sticky note on the bedside. Picking it up she instantly recognises Matt’s smooth, swirly scrawl:


Didn’t want to wake you, should be done by 4. Would like you to meet Jenna but if it’s too late there’s always another day.

I’d rather sleep too M xx


With a smile she stretches out, an obligatory pet to her stomach and rolls out of bed, orienting herself for a moment sitting on the edge of it. Spotting her bag she pulls it over to check the time on her phone and sees that it’s ten to four, he should be done soon, so if she heads down to set there’ll be enough time to do some final greets before they take off.


As she gets up from the bed about to head to the tiny ‘bathroom’ she hears a knock at the door - her mind starts whirring as to who it could be this close to the end of the day with Matt still on set, nonetheless she heads towards the living area and opens it, trying to straighten some creases out of her top with her hand. She’s met with the sight of the puppet master himself, Steven.


“Hello there.” Her voice a little croaky from sleep still.


“Hi, just thought I’d wander by...” His face is cheerful but there’s concern evident, “Matt said you’d gone to lie down, I just wondered...?” Letting the question trail off.


Batting her hand, she passes it off, “Oh it’s nothing. Just tired y’know. Umm.. are you all nearly done for the day?”


“Yeah, just finishing up the last shot now, if you want to go take a look.”


“I should probably go meet Jenna.” And Steven nods in agreement, suddenly she realises that she’s stood leaning in the doorway while he stands in the chilly Cardiff air, “Come in. I was just getting my things together- fell asleep.” She cringes a little.


Striding into the living area, he chuckles, “Don’t tell me I’ve lost my bad girl.”


“Oh dear, I fear you might have.” Throaty tones returning as she picks up some of Matt’s socks from the middle of the floor with a frown.


“I was serious earlier by the way,” he starts, watching her potter around, chucking Matt’s things somewhere more appropriate and picking up her handbag, “Don’t worry about work, you’ve got to look after yourself and do what’s best for you. When we start the longer shooting block I’ll do what I can to make sure Matt’s available when you need him.”


There they are again. The tears that blur her vision so frequently, nearly every time someone’s remotely nice. “Thank you, so much.” Wiping hastily at her eyes, Steven shifts from foot to foot seeming a little awkward just observing her. She slips on her shoes and picks up bag, sniffing and raising her head, “Right. To the set.”


He smirks at her and they head off together, Alex locking the trailer behind her with the keys she found helpfully hung on the bedroom door handle. Steven tells her bits about the new girl and how he thinks they’ll get on, apparently she’s already causing Matt grief, which Alex had heard a bit about at home - she’s sure they’ll all get along famously.


When they make it to set Alex is feeling twinges in her abdomen again, each step causing a little one, something of a relief as she can put it down to her movements. She doesn’t have to wait around long for Matt as they appear to have finished the shot by the time Steven and herself arrive, chatting with a few people he bounds up to them and hugs her from behind. Alex restrains herself from gasping when his hands brush over her stomach almost imperceptibly, but it’s a natural  movement for someone hugging someone else from behind isn’t it? Of course it is. So she lets it go and enjoys being held.


A few of them pull cutesy faces at them, awwing, someone points out that it was about time he stopped moping about because she’s not on set. Alex tells them all to hush and Matt sticks his tongue out, planting a noisy kiss in her hair. “Matthew!” Always wary of how affectionate they should be around set, but evidently no one cares now that they’re done for the day and Alex is only visiting.


Conversation quickly picks up again and Matt takes the chance to murmur in her ear, “Feeling better now?”


She nods at him, joining into the general conversation before people start splitting off and the chat dies out. Matt takes her hand as they head back to his trailer, no one batting an eyelid - she’ll never get used to this, for so long they were so overly cautious about how they were perceived, now they can freely be together she still feels a little anxious about it.


When they get back into the trailer, Alex settles on the sofa, stretching out and feeling the ache in her stomach dissipate thankfully. Definitely nothing serious then.


“Jenna left then?” She enquires, watching Matt unbutton his shirt, having loosened his bowtie.


Looking away from what he’s doing for a moment he answers, “Shit, sorry. She went the other way to see someone.”


“It’s fine darling, there’s always another day.”


He gives her a lopsided smile that melts her heart and reignites her libido, “You’ll love her, she’s great.”


Alex nods at him and watches as he puts the tweed, shirt and bowtie onto labelled hangers hung on a hook on the wall. When he turns back to head off to the bedroom she licks her lips, enjoying the way his muscles dance under his skin while he wanders about topless and pulls off his boots. Matt looks up from a boot through floppy fringe, “See something you like?”


“Definitely.” Eyes shamelessly staring.


“If you stop bloody fucking me with your eyes we might be able to make it home, hmm?” Smirking at her.


With a dramatic roll of the eyes and huff she leans back on the sofa, studying the ceiling in a bored manner while he gets undressed. She hears his footsteps to the bedroom and waits for his return, it’s only a few minutes before he’s in his own clothes with a bag on his shoulder.


“Shall we get gone then?”

“Thought you’d never ask.” A wink and she’s out the door, Matt trailing behind her.

Chapter Text

“Matt?” It’s just a quiet whisper in the darkened room but he hears it. Rolling over in bed, his hand seeks her out while his eyes adjust.


Hand finding her hip he realises that she’s laying on her side facing from him, scooting across the bed he whispers into her bare shoulder as he kisses it, “Alexxx.” He’d had a small workload today and had been able to come back to the flat and spend time with her, relax a little and not learn lines for once. Of course her cravings took effect and they’d wound up slowly and thoroughly making love on the sofa, before he instigated a second round in the bathroom while they tried to get washed. All in all he was feeling satisfied and happily sleepy, thoroughly relaxed and tactile.


She murmurs sleepily, her usual sexy voice a little groggy with tiredness, “Could you rub my back please, darling?”


His hand automatically moves from her hip to stroke up and down her spine, seeking out any sources of discomfort. Alex arches into him a little and hums with content, as his eyes adjust he sees her snuggle into her pillow. “Put your back out did I?”


“There are definitely better places to shag than against the shower taps-”


“Shit, sorry, you never said...” He feels terrible now, repeatedly pushing her into the metal knob, but she’d been responding so well.


“Didn’t really hurt, barely caught me.”


“So the back rub’s for...” Sounding utterly put upon.


“Because I have back ache, alright?” Ah. Yes. It had been a while since the crabbiness had reared its head.


“Then I shall soothe it. Where is it?” A tender kiss to the neck, that always seems to have positive effects.


“My back.”


Or not.


“Alright then.” As much as her moods can wind him up, he’s seen how they cascade on her and how it frustrates her when tears fall and she wants them to stop or her needs exceed what she can achieve. Patience is something he’s going to have to have for her sake, so he lets it go and keeps stroking at her bared back beneath the sheets. Paying close attention he looks out for signs that one area hurts more than another or feels better to be touched than another - after a few minutes he realises that it’s her lower back... well she had been arching it rather a lot that evening.


Sitting himself up, she huffs a bit at the cool air it directs under the duvet, he puts his hands to use on her lower back, kneading his knuckles carefully either side of her spine. After a few moments he feels her begin to relax, if he can keep this up without making a wrong move for a little longer she might lose the edge too. The fraught tension in her frame is slipping away second by second and he decides that he can get away with being less clinical - hands going to her full and curvy hips while his thumbs circle in those beautiful little dimples.


Matt’s barely held her for a millisecond when she huffs out a small breath, a very not edgy breath. He can feel her starting to wriggle a little and struggles to maintain his hold when suddenly he finds himself with two handfuls of her firm and full backside. He swallows, what was she after now, he’s made this mistake before.


However, he doesn’t have to wonder long before her hand slips back to take his, without a word, and squeezes over his, making him pinch her bum, before sliding them across and down... oh. His fingers are now met with very soft and smooth flesh, gliding over it, path eased with wetness. Well, she never could resist a back massage.


Alex’s breath stutters, Matt taking initiative now he was in familiar territory. She was horny (again) and he knew very well how to handle that. Not sure whether it’s the pregnancy or her increased desire but he’s sure that she just gets wetter every time. This is no fast and desperate search for pleasure, this is about him pleasing her, relaxing her - she’s getting snowed under in all these feelings and he will help her wash them away.


Middle finger slipping over her entrance, stroking her slick folds until he tenderly pets at her clit, he spreads her wetness across her skin. Alex’s top leg moves forward, creating more space while he hears her heavy and deep breaths. Gathering wetness he trails a single finger over the plump, smooth skin around her intimacy, knowing how it will make her feel. Taking his time, Matt spends a while skating his fingers around her entrance, barely touching the velvet smooth skin except when they skate across it occasionally to trail wetness and ease their path.


By now Alex’s hips are rotating a little, breath stuttering and tiny whimpers escaping her parted lips with her breath. These are his favourite moments, when she allows him to take his time, focus on her and enjoy her feel, the sensations of her body. She feels so luxurious under his finger tips and the little moans and muscle twitches that he’s causing send his blood flowing south, cock pulsing with need. It’s not important right now though, because watching, feeling and hearing her is a wonderful privilege. She exudes sex, every movement is pure delightful sin.


Mmmah-tt,” it’s just a breath, a whimper and the things is does to him are unreal. Pleasure pooling in his stomach, cock twitching in response to her. Surging forwards, his lips brush her shoulder, nose nuzzling the juncture there to take in her smell and... well, maybe he’s feeling a little cuddly.


Now is not the time to make presumptions, so rather than demonstrating his interest more crudely, he whispers by her ear, because now is also not the time to be loud, “What do you want, sweetheart?” Fingers delicately moving between her lips, slowly, so slowly slipping within her fluid silken walls.


Alex’s hand reaches for him once more, this time over her shoulder, pulling him close so she can kiss his lips. It’s a bit messy due to their angles but it’s passionate and full of desire. “You.”


That’s all it takes for him to scoot that bit closer and his hardness to rest between her thighs. The heat on him is exquisite and he resists the urge to just push inside and fuck her. They’ve already done that today. Twice. It’s the middle of the night and they’re both a little weary, her mood clearly indicates that she won’t stand for that - he’s not foolish.


Massaging the sweet spot inside her with care he delights in the way she purrs and her muscles clench around his fingers, when she pushes back into him Matt takes his cue. Removing his hand he takes hold of himself and teases his head across her entrance, nudging at her clit making her jump a little before he slides back down the length of her and pushes. It’s so painstakingly slow as his hips push forward, inch by inch she takes him in and he closes his eyes and breathes deeply to savour the moment. His Lex is so exquisite.


Surging forwards, he loses himself in her and she pours her lust into their kiss. Words aren’t needed because their bodies and actions are slowly taking them all away. Their movements speak a thousands words and convey even more emotion.


For the rest of the night, neither says another word, save for the others name as the sensation tides over them and they reach their release. Together.




Now at four months and progressing well, Alex was beginning to revel in the little discomforts of pregnancy - they caused no harm and just symbolised what was happening; the seemingly impossible. She was now more than happy to wake in the middle of the night to comfort her body, it did feel rather odd the changes that occurred with another human inside you.


Right now she was feeling odd. She could make out Matt’s sleeping form in the darkness and how one of his pillows temptingly stuck out at her, his head barely on it. Sighing, she shifts in the bed trying not to wake him while arranging the duvet so it rests between her knees, somehow it felt right and she relaxes again. Until a deep, rumbly voice makes her jump, “Lex?”


“Yes dear?”


“Why aren’t you asleep?” Matt’s voice is croaky but still appeals to her in the same ways it ever has.


Smiling to herself at the way he sounds like a confused child, “Because I’m awake?” The silence indicates that he doesn’t find her amusing. She sighs, “Trying to get comfy.”


“That’d be why you have half the duvet then.” Feeling the bed dip as his silhouette raises its head, he speaks, “What on- here.”


Matt’s hand goes for the prized pillow she was eyeing and pulls it out from beneath the one he was resting on, “No, you need it to sleep. You were comfy. It was quite cute.” She jiffles to free up the duvet a bit but it’s tangled.


“As adorable as that is, Alex, I think I’d prefer a duvet to the pillow I’m barely using.” Resting on one elbow he tugs at the duvet a bit to free it from between her legs and pulls back the duvet to hand her the pillow. She resists, it’s a bit mean really, taking his pillow, but Matt seems entirely unaffected and would rather return to sleep. So she stops pushing it back at him and lets him put it by her legs before she arranges herself again and he tucks them both in.


Much more settled now, she relaxes somewhat and feels the gentle warmth of the duvet seep through her, lulling her. Just before she slips from consciousness she feels the palm of Matt’s hand stroke over hers before laying in it. They both doze gently, palm to palm and side by side until sleep takes them.




Fortunately, Matt’s birthday fell within his four days off which meant that they could celebrate it on the day and he wouldn’t be working. He’d planned to throw a huge party, splash out on an open bar and enforce a ridiculous dress code, after all it was his thirtieth - his apparent welcome to actual maturity. With work and the baby on his mind he’d soon forgotten about it all however, until a week beforehand. Forgetting your own birthday was surely not a good sign, but how’s a man meant to remember such things when their partner is carrying their child?


Pushing riotous partying off the agenda, Matt suddenly had no desire for these things which is handy considering that it was not at all appropriate for Alex. And he definitely wants to spend his birthday with Alex. Thinking about it, he rather wants to go somewhere fancy, where they can dress up ridiculously posh and share something more like a date. It’s been a while since they dated, but it’s his birthday so legitimately it’s his right to choose. Unless she objects.


Matt decided to convey these feelings during a phone call to her that night to a rather enthusiastic reception. He gets the feeling that her body image is slipping, as excited as she appears about their impending arrival, hopefully dressing up and a night out will change that. His birthday it may be but he enjoys her being happy, so it’s win-win.




After realising that she was required to make an effort for Matt’s birthday - approximately six hours before their dinner (and just four and a half before he arrives home) - Alex was overcome by the sudden urge to preen herself to within an inch of her life and present herself perfectly for his birthday. It was their first ‘grown up’ birthday together, they’d always had a few drinks or a loud party, but they’d never done anything this adult as go out for dinner and shun a raucous celebration.


She has the flat to herself, Matt having to finish wrapping up a couple of scenes before starting his little break from work. It is the perfect opportunity to indulge the infrequent, but currently very pressing, girly pampering needs she has. For all she knows her body may never look this good again, so for today, herself and Matt she is going to treat it to the full works. Mind set, Alex climbs into the shower armed with her tools for beautification.


Under the spray she goes through the steps that she knows make her feel more pretty but often neglects. Exfoliating, washing, shaving... she even abates her impatience at having nothing to do, to allow her conditioner to actually make something of her mane. When she steps out she feels thoroughly refreshed and she’s beginning to feel a little sexier about her extra weight.


Slinking to the bedroom and deciding that maybe the extra wobble she carries is kinda nice, Alex hums to herself and drops the towel in the sunlight of their bedroom. Digging in one of the dresser draws for that really nice and perhaps slightly-way-too-expensive body cream she hums to herself, waving her hips around before grasping the item she searched for. By the bed she takes a deep breath and blinks into the sunlight, a smile graces her lips and now she’s feeling much more happy about tonight.