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MINE

 

I'm going to be honest. There are a lot of qualities that attract me to him. (Not the least of which are his physical attributes, but I'd like to keep this on higher plane for the time being.)  For instance, if you look at him right now, he's sitting quietly, poring over capital growth fund brochures, convinced the key to our financial success lies within them. He's eager--no, he's overeager--to learn all he can about all sorts of funds. And simply because I suggested we should take a more hands-on approach to our finances.

There. That's one thing I love about him.  His absolute enthusiasm for each and every opportunity that presents itself to him. He turns nothing down. He loves every new idea that's presented to him. He'll try anything with an ardor and excitement that is as intoxicating as it is dangerous.

I don't do that so very well. Every action has to have a purpose, and that purpose has to be important. Otherwise why bother expending the energy? But to him, there's enough reason to do something simply because he can do it. I get such joy from watching him. And it doesn't hurt that he sucks me into his whirlwind escapades, which makes anything that happens from that point on entirely not my fault!

Delight. That's a word I like to apply to him. Delight simply shines from his eyes. That sparkle of surprise and joy when he makes a discovery. And always accompanied by a smile. There's one that's a barely perceptible lifting of the corner of the left side of his mouth. All the energy shines from his eyes. Then there's the one that involves both lips and a flash of those beautiful, even teeth. This one gives a little lift to his cheeks. There's a shine to his whole face.  And then there's his "grinning idiot" explosion, which I defy anyone to resist and not respond to.  (Except for me, of course. I have deadpan down to a science. Drives him crazy. Sends him into a fit of frustration. And we all know what he does to alleviate frustration.)

Now anger. He says I'm better at that. Says I've got the scariest angry look he's ever seen on anyone. Including his father. But I say he's the scary one. And if I can make a psychological judgement, I'd say it has something to do with the aforementioned enthusiasm which we were earlier discussing. There are no gradations with him. It's all or nothing. Even when he's containing, there are pressure waves emanating from his core. He's excitement and danger all rolled into one. How could you not want a piece of that?

So what else do I like about him?  How about his commitment. His dedication. His ability to totally immerse himself in a case or a project or a person. I find that very attractive. Undivided attention. Who wouldn't want that from their partner? I wish I found that kind of attention and enthusiasm easier to give myself. But I just can't let go of the feeling that somebody's going to laugh at me for my choices. For as long as I can remember, people have been commenting on my physical appearance, my athletic ability, my eating habits, my friends...I mean, how can you not think about every move you make when everyone else is?

I like his moves. Graceful, if you consider his hips have absolutely no connection to the rest of his body.  That man has more independently-moving body parts than a marionette.  I've seen him move in anger, I've seen him move in fear, I've seen him move in joy, and I've seen him move in love. And his hips have never repeated the same movement twice.  Mind of their own.  Have you ever seen him dance?  Ridiculous!  His hips sort of jerk around, never in the same direction as his torso or butt, and his hands poke the air as though he were an Egyptian hieroglyph.  Unless he's using his hands to caress his body in some semi-obscene, terribly suggestive manner.  (Again, totally ridiculous--but when he moves those hands to my body...)

He has, without a doubt, the most incredible head of hair I have ever known.  Soft, deep brown curls that twine around my fingers and tickle my palm.  I prefer them a little longer, so there's more silky coolness to play with.  Soft skin, too.  (Not as soft as mine, but then he has a Slavic-Jewish genetic background to my Nordic DNA.)  If you're into hands at all, then he's got 'em!  Agile, flexible, sensitive, inquisitive fingers.  Long, narrow palms that cup and hold with just the right amount of pressure. Oh, but I forgot his eyes!  Translucent, sapphire blue that are far too open and trusting.  Lips that are far too open and trusting as well.  That man will do anything if it feels good.  At least he doesn't do it with anybody, anymore...