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He Gets Me High

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It was three weeks in to his freshman year of college and Stiles had finally been invited to a party. 

Or that’s what Allison and Lydia’s facebook invite had said. Party. When he arrived he realized that party actually meant fifty hipster kids squeezed into their one bedroom apartment. Stiles knew Allison, kind of; their moms had been friends in high school and because of this Allison had been forced into being Stiles’ tour guide when he had first arrived at UCLA from Beacon Hills. 

Allison was a couple of years older, and out of his league cool, but she was also about the sweetest person in the world so when Stiles was given a cursory invite to her party he was more than a little excited. 

Of course the excitement wore off as soon as he had stepped into the crowded party.  Stiles had never felt so out of place. He was already a gaping small town fish out of water in LA, but this party filled with kids who were in bands, who worked at vintage clothing stores, collected vinyl and DJ’d at Cinespace made him feel like an idiot.

He had been standing next to the keg, pretending to look through Lydia’s record collection so it wasn’t so obvious that he was at the party alone when a guy in a denim Misfits vest smiled at him and said. “Let me guess, UCLA?” Stiles looked down at his UCLA sweater and cringed, thinking this guy was making fun of him, but then the guy put out his hand, “I’m Scott.”

Stiles smiled, he’d been at the party for over an hour and the closest anyone had gotten to talking to him was to snicker under their breath, “Nice hoodie doofus.”

“Stiles. I’m a dork. This is embarrassing. I should just take off the sweater.” 

Scott laughed and put his hand on Stiles’ arm, “Nah man, leave it, you’re like a renegade.”

“I’m from Northern California where people still think it’s cool to wear school sweaters.”

Scott clinked his red plastic cup against Stiles’, “I’m from San Diego where people think it’s cool to wear board shorts and puka shell necklaces. We’re both misfits bro.”

“So who do you know here?” Stiles asks as he scans the room full of frighteningly hip people. 

Scott shook his head, “Not a single person. I met Allison at a cafe the other day, she wouldn’t give me her number but she did finally give in to my charms and invited me here.”

Stiles laughed, “Allison’s mom is an old friend of my mom’s so she invited me totally out of pity. I don’t know anyone either, you’re like the first person to talk to me all night. So you and Allison?”

Scott smiled in a dreamy way, “She looked surprised to see me, and hasn’t exactly spoken to me since I’ve been here. But I’m on her radar now man. You got a girl?”

“Erica,” Stiles nodded and pulled out his phone to show Scott a picture of her, “she’s still back in Beacon Hills.”

“Nice. So you must be serious if you’re doing the long distance thing?” Scott said, eyes never really leaving where Allison stood on the other side of the room talking to her friends.

Stiles had to think hard for a moment, were they serious? “I guess. I mean we’ll probably get married one day." 

“You guess?” Scott laughed, “That’s good for me then, when we hang out together at least I won’t have to compete with those cheekbones for the love of Allison Argent.” 

Stiles’ eyebrows furrowed, “Cheekbones?” 

Scott tilted his head to the side, “Rules state that you must bestow a compliment back to me before you are allowed to fish for more.”

“I wasn’t…” He started but Scott just laughed. 

About an hour later Stiles was rudely knocked into by a group of three moody looking guys that were probably models or actors. They were too good looking to be students Stiles figured. Scott tried to say hi to them as they filled up their cups at the keg.  All three tilted their heads up and gave a quick nod, but didn’t bother with actual words. They didn’t look at Stiles, his school hoodie had made him invisible, but that didn’t stop him from looking at them. 

All three were ridiculously good looking, and he kinda hated them for it. He hated the way they were dressed like they had a best friend who worked at that huge vintage store Wasteland, putting away all the best clothes for them before they even got a chance to hit the racks. He hated the way they looked down their noses at all the people at the party that Stiles had been too intimidated to talk to all evening. He didn’t usually just hate people at first sight, but he thinks he hates the one in the leather jacket the most. He just seemed mean.

Scott’s eyes bugged out of his head when Allison walked over to where they all stood and greeted the guys, “Hey fellas.”

“Hi Allison,” Scott gushed. She looked a little uncomfortable, her greeting was clearly intended for the guys standing next to them. The leather jacket guy looked at Scott like he was a total loser, and Stiles felt completely justified in hating this guy.

“Oh hi Scott, I see you’ve met Stiles,” she forced a smile, “Stiles have you met Derek, Boyd and Isaac?”

Stiles shook his head, his voice getting stuck in his throat, it was embarrassing that these guys could intimidate him to the point of being too afraid to speak. The three guys barely responded to the introduction, which wow, could you be any ruder?

The guy in the leather jacket, who Stiles now knew as Derek, leaned forward and whispered something in Allison’s ear. She just nodded and smiled at him, then said, “Well, great seeing you guys!” 

They finished their drinks as they walked out the door. “Wow. Those guys are like—“

“So amazing,” Allison finished with a blinding grin.

Scott and Stiles shared a look of disagreement with her statement. “What is that Derek guys deal anyway?” Stiles asked.

“He was in my screenwriting class last year and I basically fell in love with him because he is the perfect guy.”

“You guys dated?” Scott sounded a little like a kicked puppy.

Allison laughed loudly, “No. Derek Hale is gay. You have no idea how many girls wish he was bisexual." 

“So he never dates girls?” Stiles asked, but he didn’t know why he was so interested.

Allison pouted, “Nope. Only like closeted movie stars and model types. Such a huge source of sexual frustration for the girls of UCLA.”

Scott smiled, “So I don’t have to compete with Derek Hale for your affection?”

She laughed, “Not with Derek. Isaac and Boyd on the other hand…” She smirked and Scott’s face fell. 

“Couldn’t you at least give him your number?” Stiles said to Allison. “Give him some hope?” 

Scott grinned, nodding his head like a dog. Allison looked between Scott and Stiles then rolled her eyes and put her hand out in front of her. “Fine. Give me your phone Scott. You can have my number, but it doesn’t mean anything.”

He handed his phone over and grinned goofily at Stiles and mouthed ‘I love you.’ 

 

***

 

Scott and Stiles became pretty inseparable over the next few weeks. Allison still hadn’t agreed to go on a date with Scott but he was persistent. Scott was cool, he had a neighbor that sold them pot so they’d hang out and get stoned whenever Stiles wasn’t in class.

Stiles had become a little hipper by this point as well, he didn’t wear his UCLA sweatshirt anywhere but to the gym now and he had even started buying clothes from shops that weren’t called The Gap and Old Navy. 

It turned out that Boyd actually did work at that vintage clothing store Wasteland and Stiles finally got up the confidence to introduce himself one day when Boyd was behind the counter one day.

“I’m Stiles. I met you at Allison and Lydia’s about a month ago?” he said nervously.

Boyd did the unexpected, he grinned widely and reached out to clasp his had, “Yeah! That night was a disastro but I remember you, you’re friends with Scott right?”

Stiles smiled proudly and nodded, “I can’t actually believe you remember. You guys kinda seemed like you hated us.”

He looked a little confused before he laughed and shook his head, “Bad timing is all. My friend Derek has a really bad habit of breaking guys hearts and then being completely confused by the aftermath. His most recent ex was across the room staring him down.”

“Oh?” Stiles said, he still thought Derek seemed like a jerk, but he didn’t hate him anymore. Just intensely disliked him. “Heartbreaker huh?”

“I love the guy like a brother but any time a guy asks me if Derek is single I’m like, nah uh stay away! Derek will fuck you and sweet talk you. But he ain’t ever gonna fall in love with you,” he shook his head, “I told Danny all of this but he still went after Derek hoping he’d make it past the four month mark. Can’t feel sorry for these guys when they get a fair warning.”

“I suppose not.” 

“So consider yourself forewarned.” 

Stiles’ mouth fell open, “No! I’m not interested. I’m like the opposite of interested in Derek. Dude is scary.” Boyd smiled, unconvinced. “I’ve got a girlfriend!”

Boyd flashed his pearly white teeth, “Good for you man. I don’t think I can lose any more friends to the Derek Hale ex-trail.” 

Stiles figures a few weeks later that they had finally become real friends when Boyd started putting cool clothes in Stiles’s size behind the counter for him. 

One day Stiles is hanging with Scott, and Boyd called asking if he could hook him up with some pot. It was the first time Boyd had ever phoned him and Stiles wanted to sound like someone who had connections so he said yes even though he really didn’t. Fortunately Scott’s Fred Durst look-a-like neighbor was home and finally agreed to sell to someone he didn’t know. When Boyd pulled up outside Scott’s apartment block half an hour later in his car, Derek was in the passenger seat, Boyd smiled gratefully for the pot then asked if Stiles wanted to go to the beach with them. 

Derek actually looked at Stiles and said hi this time. But that’s all he said. Stiles still thought Derek was a total asshole but he really liked Boyd and wasn’t going to let one bitchy little dude stop him from having friends so he hopped in to the car.

 

***

 

He didn’t even know how it had happened exactly, but one day Stiles realized he had become friends with Derek. He couldn’t remember how they had gotten to the point of being friends but he could remember the moment he realized that not only did he not dislike Derek anymore, he was actually kind of awesome.

Erica had been visiting from Beacon Hills, her first time visiting for the weekend in fact. Stiles had taken her to Universal Studios and to Hollywood Boulevard and every other touristy place she requested. But he wanted her to actually meet his friends, so the night before she left he took her over to Derek, Isaac and Boyd’s place. 

“Okay, okay, best Buffy episode?” Boyd said.

“I only have eyes for you,” Stiles and Derek said at the same time. 

“You guys are such girls,” Erica, yawned in to her hand.

Ever watch Supernatural?” Derek asked.

Stiles grinned, “Dude, it’s like crack to me.” 

“My sister thinks the Winchesters are fucking.” Derek smirked.

Stiles laughed a little too loudly, “That’s crazy.” And really fucking hot, he thought.

“Yeah,” he said and held Stiles’ gaze longer than necessary. 

Erica rolled her eyes at them, groaning, “That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.”

Isaac grinned, “I know right? Clearly Castiel and Dean are the ones that are fucking.” 

She shot him a dirty look, but Stiles and Derek continue to look at each other with amused smiles. Isaac leaned in to Erica and tilted his head towards Derek, “Better watch your boy.”

Derek looked away from Stiles,  and threw a handful of cheetos at Isaac’s head. Pretty soon there was cheetos dust all over their clothes and floor from the cheetos war between Derek and Isaac. Boyd and Stiles laughed, but Erica was not impressed.

“Can we go now, please?” Erica whispered to Stiles. 

“Already? It’s so early.”

“It’s past one, we’ve been here for, like six hours,” Erica said, not trying to hide her irritation this time.

“Please, babe. Just a little longer?” Stiles pleaded.

“I’m leaving,” she snapped, “You gonna make me walk back to yours alone?”

Stiles shook his head, and turned reluctantly to the still hysterical guys in the cheetos war trenches. “Hey guys, Erica needs to get her flight in the morning so we’re going to take off.” 

Stiles didn’t miss Derek’s look of disappointment, genuine disappointment and he was surprised about how much he shared the sentiment. 

They shared an overly long look. A look that Stiles will explain away later with the tequila they’d been drinking when he thinks about what it meant. But in that moment he knew exactly what the look meant, the look was heated and wanting. Stiles didn’t think that anyone else noticed the silent conversation happening between the two of them, and even if they did, they wouldn’t have understood it. They wouldn’t be able to understand that Stiles was saying, I don’t want to leave and Derek responding with, I wish you could stay. I want to kiss you. Stiles knew exactly what Derek was saying, and he nodded his head because he wanted that too. Erica rushed him out the door, and Stiles’s world slowly began to unravel.

 

***

 

Just like how Stiles couldn’t remember how he'd become friends with Derek, he also couldn’t recall when they'd stopped being just friends and become best friends either. He just knew that after that night they hadn’t been a day without seeing each other, hell they barely went more than a few hours without some form of contact. 

They don’t ever talk about or revisit the eye fucking from that night, but the tear-your-hair-out need they had for each other seemed to grow stronger by the day. Derek would joke that Stiles was his boyfriend because they spent so much time together and Stiles would always laugh, and then feel pathetic about how much he wished it were true. It’s not like wanting a guy freaked Stiles out, he had always known he had that need inside of him, wanting Derek in particular though, completely fucked with his head. 

He felt an unbearable guilt every time Derek looked at him a certain way because he had a girlfriend who loved and trusted him and instead of dreaming about her when he went to bed at night he would think about how all he wants to do is crawl inside of Derek’s skin. Luckily for his relationship and his friendship, his infatuation was one sided.

“Where’s Derek?” Lydia smiled as she walked up behind Stiles as he looked for a clean cup in the kitchen of the party they were at. Stiles shrugged a bit sadly because he was quite drunk and he had lost Derek. “I barely even recognized you without him standing next to you.”

“That’s so funny, he’s my best friend but I’ve only known him for 2 weeks,” Stiles said way too loudly.

Derek came up behind him laughing, wrapping his arm around Stiles’s shoulder and whispered into his neck. “You say that every time we go out. You do know that we’ve been best friends for at least 3 months right?”

“No way!” Stiles said, genuinely surprised, but he wasn’t surprised. He had serious problems with linear time when he drank. “Still my best friend though.”

Derek ruffled Stiles’s hair and pulled him in closer to kiss his cheek, “Fucking A.”

Lydia cooed and pulled out her camera, “You guys are just too adorabs. Derek kiss him again so I can take a polaroid.”

Derek doesn’t hesitate and grabs Stiles by the face and plants a big… dry chaste kiss on Stiles’s lips. Lydia showed them the photo as it developed in her hand and if Stiles hadn’t been part of the kiss he would have thought, from looking at the photo, that they were actually making out. Derek smiled broadly, “This is amazing. Can I keep this?”

Lydia tilted her head to the side and grinned at him like he was a giant bunny rabbit as she handed him the photo. Stiles watched as Derek tucked it carefully in his front shirt pocket. 

An hour or so later they were lying in the back garden, away from the others, drinking their beers, and staring at the stars. Derek’s head was resting on Stiles’s stomach, giving Stiles free reign to run his hands indulgently through Derek’s hair.

“I’m so glad you’re straight,” Derek said, breaking their comfortable silence.

“Huh?” 

“What we have, I know in the grand scheme of our lives we haven’t known each other long, but what we have is like the most real connection I’ve ever had with someone and I just don’t think we would have been able to get this close if you were gay.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Stiles was confused.

“No it does, it’s like, you’re better than sex,” he sighed genuinely, which only cracked Stiles up.

“I’m better than sex,” Stiles laughed, “uhh, thanks?”

“You know what I mean. If you were gay, we would have fucked, probably a lot and then that would have been it. We would never have really gotten to know each other.”

“Derek. I-“ Stiles started, and he really meant to tell Derek that small detail about how he really does like boys, much more than girls even.

But then Derek said, “Relationships break up, but friendships like ours, it’s for life dude,” and Stiles thought, well I can’t really tell him now can I? 

“I’m totally dateable, you would have dated me,” Stiles joked trying to get his mind off of thinking about all the fucking he and Derek could have had if he’d been one of those guys that Derek dated for a few months. 

“Like I date.”

“You do too date. What about Danny?”

“Yeah, and look how badly I fucked him over. Still can’t even be in the same room with him without feeling guilty. I’m just. I’m just so glad that I never have to worry about hurting you like that. We should get married.”

“Think Erica would mind?” 

“Erica doesn’t exist in my mind, so nope.”

 

***

 

This was the same night that Stiles felt, for the first time irrationally intense pangs of jealousy when he saw Derek making out with, then disappearing into a bedroom with some guy. Stiles knew that he shouldn’t feel jealous of some douche bag whom he knew was cheating on his girlfriend by blowing Derek. But that didn’t stop him from drinking himself into an angry stupor over it. 

Derek found him throwing up in the back garden a few hours later and walked him home. Stiles doesn’t remember telling him that he didn’t want Derek to fall in love with anyone so he also doesn’t remember that Derek told him he had nothing to worry about. He doesn’t remember, but it was still true and for a long time things didn’t change. It stays Stiles and Derek versus the world, for more than a year perhaps. Stiles sees Erica every few months, and Derek tends to disappear for those weekends and come back covered in hickeys and bruises. There are other guys over the year as well, but Stiles ignores the jealousy because it’s never serious.

And then one day things did get serious. Derek met a guy he liked, and suddenly things changed. Derek was usually so confident and together but his crush on this guy had brought out a different side of his personality that Stiles hadn’t seen before. It was the softer side of Derek, but Stiles didn’t really like it that much. Derek had been pointing out some guy on campus, calling him ‘Mohawk Guy’, for awhile but Derek did that with a lot of guys, there was skater guy, young-Idris-Elba guy. It didn’t mean anything. But then one night they were at the Smell, this divey show venue in Downtown Los Angeles and there was Mohawk guy playing guitar with the band up front.

That night Stiles hung around the parking lot waiting for Derek and pretended this was like any other night that Derek hooked up, but he knew it wasn’t. When they kissed goodbye Mohawk Guy caught him trying to burn holes into his stupid Mohawk with his eyes. He looked amused and just winked at Stiles, like I don’t know who you are, but I won. 

Stiles didn’t think he could hate Mohawk Guy anymore until the day that Derek tells him they are officially a couple. Stiles takes a small amount of satisfaction when he shaves his Mohawk because Stiles could tell that Derek liked the guy better with his Mohawk. Stiles liked that Mohawk Guy didn’t seem to understand this fact. Mohawk Guy told him one night after he had snorted an impressive amount of cocaine that if he didn’t start calling him Jackson he was going to punch him.

 Stiles smirked at that and called him Mohawk Guy one last time before quickly running from the room. Derek had laughed because he had thought Jackson was joking about punching Stiles, but Stiles knew better. Stiles knew that Jackson knew how much Stiles hated him, because Jackson hated him back with an equal passion. They both loved Derek too much to ever tell him this though.

 Jackson wasn’t a bad guy. Stiles probably would have hated Ryan Gosling if he had stolen Derek from him. But Jackson wasn’t really cool either, in fact he was kind of boring not to mention his friends were next level pretentious. They spent all their free time playing backgammon on street side tables of cafes, where everyone could see how smart they were to have mastered such a complicated game. Barf. The only thing Stiles hated more than Jackson was his stupid friends. 

He was complaining about this very thing to Erica on the phone one night, when she yelled down the phone in frustration, “Jesus! Stiles! Just stop okay? I’ve been listening to you complain about this Jackson guy for three months now. If I didn’t know better I’d think you were in love with Derek the way you obsess over his boyfriend.”

“I—“ Stiles started but couldn’t really finish the sentence. 

“Oh. My. God,” she said, and there was silence on both ends of the phone for a few minutes. She didn’t hang up though, Stiles could hear her breathing. Finally she took a deep breath, “I should have seen this earlier huh? I mean of course you’re gay.”

“I’m not gay,” Stiles said but she just laughed.

“Stiles you’re forgetting that I’ve had sex with you,” she made a sound of relief, “I thought it was me, that I just wasn’t sexy enough because you never really seemed that in to it.”

“You’re beautiful Erica,” he didn’t really know how else to respond to her accusation. 

“You know that I am breaking up with you right? Like now.” 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and when he got off the phone with her a few minutes later he didn’t even know how he felt about his break up. He wasn’t relieved, but he wasn’t sad either.  Derek sent him a text a few minutes later, Sorry I won’t be able to make breakfast tomorrow. Jackson is taking me to San Diego for the night! Stiles remembered the word he was looking for, empty.

 

***

 

Stiles never told Derek why Erica broke up with him. It’s just not a conversation they could have without it being weird, so as far as everyone knew it had just been a mutual decision based on the fact that they had been living in different cities for two years. 

At the end of Stiles’s sophomore year he decided not to go home for the summer and stay in work in LA over break. He was planning on finding an apartment for Junior year anyway and he and Derek had talked about moving in together so many times that he had assumed it was just going to happen. As it got closer to summer vacation Stiles suggested to Derek they start looking for a place. Derek looked up at him with a guilty expression and told him that Jackson has asked him to move in with him. Stiles hid his disappointment well because all he did was storm out of the room when he really just wanted to kick the table over and start crying. 

Stiles got a place with Scott instead, but because Scott was basically always busy making out with Allison Stiles still spent most of his summer hanging out at Derek and Jackson’s. Jackson would get annoyed when Stiles, Isaac and Boyd would hang out at his place too much, which usually just made Stiles want to spend even more time over there. He said that Derek acted too immature around them, so Stiles and Isaac always made a point of wrestling Derek when ever Jackson was around. 

Derek started reading Ayn Rand because Jackson thought he needed to expand his mind but Stiles just wanted to snatch the book out of his hands and tell him to snap out of it.

When school got back in September Stiles met Danny, he was one of Scott’s friends. They’d been hanging out for a few weeks before Stiles realized that his new friend Danny was the same Danny that Derek had dated a few years earlier. It wasn’t weird though, it kind of made him feel closer to Danny because of it. Stiles knew exactly how it felt to have your heart broken by Derek.

Stiles decided he liked Danny a lot. He didn’t really talk too much, but everyone loved Danny. He was like, this awkward quiet guy, who somehow got sat at the cool table but he didn’t know how he got there. This was something Stiles could relate to. 

One night they were at a party at Allison and Lydia’s. Derek wasn’t there but he never really showed up at parties anymore. It was probably a good thing though because by about two AM everyone still left at the party was sitting in a giant circle in the living room playing spin the bottle. Stiles knew he would never have been able to kiss Derek and come out of it alive. What he didn’t know was that kissing Danny during the game was going to have a similarly destructive effect.

Stiles had kissed five girls and three other guys as part of the game, but Danny’s kiss was the only one that burnt him, the only kiss that he really felt. Danny walked him home that night and because Scott was still at Allison’s Stiles had asked him to come in.

Stiles kissed Danny again and at that moment, things made sense. Stiles had thought about almost nothing but being with another guy since he’d broken up with Erica, imagined kissing, wanted to touch, taste, but he’d been way too scared to do anything about it. It didn’t help that he was convinced that he was so in love with Derek that he wouldn’t even be able to even make good on any opportunity with another guy. But as the opportunity was unbuttoning his shirt in his bedroom his dick felt pretty certain he could make more than good.

This was an important moment for Stiles because this was when Stiles knew for sure, not just in theory but in practice that this was who he was. He kissed Danny until his head was dizzy, until all the blood in his head had moved to his cock, completely ditching his brain. He let Danny undress him, watching with heavy lidded eyes as Danny then took off his own shirt and then his pants. Danny was built like he must have spent almost as much time in the gym every day as Derek. Stiles shook away all thoughts or comparisons of Danny’s body to Derek’s.

Danny’s skin was soft but his body felt hard, and Stiles wanted it, he wanted the mouth that is moving down his neck to keep going right down until it reached his cock. He was drunk and impatient, so finally he pushed Danny’s head down towards his crotch. 

“Easy tiger,” Danny chuckled before he pushed him back against the bed and kneeled between Stiles’ legs. He pulled down Stiles’ boxer briefs, and caught his cock in his mouth before it had a chance to spring back toward his abdomen. 

“Holy fuck,” Stiles yelped. He was beyond turned on and even with all the Seagrams 7 running through his veins he was still perilously close to blowing his load before the minute was up.

Danny dove down on his cock, taking him all the way down in to his throat, bobbing up and down on it like he was born to do it. Stiles grabbed Danny’s head, ran his hands roughly through his short dark hair, and refused to let the sight remind him of Derek. As Stiles guided Danny’s head up and down on his cock he had the sudden thought in the back of his mind that Danny's mouth was on Derek’s cock once, and was almost too much. Danny took his dick all the way down his throat again, and looked up in to Stiles’ eyes. Stiles was hit with fuck, wow, fuck, Danny is blowing me right now, and almost out of surprise he pulled his cock from Danny’s mouth and shot white strings of come all over Danny’s chest. 

Stiles was immediately embarrassed about the white sticky mess matted up in the small patch of hair on Danny’s chest, and tried to wipe it with his balled up t-shirt but Danny swiped his hand away and moved up the bed to kiss him.

“It’s okay, I like it,” he whispered into Stiles’ mouth, then licked inside of it. 

Stiles could feel Danny’s erection poking in to his leg, he moved his hand down to pull it free from his boxers and like it was a totally normal thing for him to do he started tugging on it. He jerked him off while Danny kissed him, moaning into his mouth. It didn’t take long before Stiles felt the splash of wet on his hand and wrist as Danny bit down on his lip while Stiles continued stroking him through his orgasm. 

Lying with Danny in a post-sex haze Stiles was surprised that it didn’t feel weird; it was weirdly normal if anything so when Danny sat up to get dressed Stiles pulled him back down.

“Just stay, Scott won’t be back all weekend,” Stiles said sleepily. 

Danny shrugged then lay back in bed, tugging the covers over the both of them. They were asleep in moments.

 

 

***

 

The next morning Stiles was once again surprised to realize how not-freaked out he was when he woke up still sticky and naked, wrapped around Danny. He was, however, struck with the desperate urge to pee so he unwrapped his body from Danny’s and slipped out of the bed trying not to wake him. After emptying his bladder and washing the dead creatures out of his mouth he tiptoed back into the bedroom trying to be quiet. But, because he is a giant spaz, he tripped over his shoes that were still lying in the middle of the room, and locked eyes with a very awake Danny.

Danny laughed. “So, uhh, that happened,” he said, gesturing between them.

Again, Stiles was not freaked out. He grinned, and nodded through his slight hangover. “We cool?”

Danny sat up, body still covered by the sheets, and ran his hand through his hair. “You tell me, I thought you were straight?”

“Huh,” Stiles shrugged then looked down at his still-naked body, “guess not?" 

Danny laughed again and threw his pillow at him. “Coffee?”

 

***

 

An hour later Stiles and Danny were sitting across from one another at Starbucks. 

“So, uhh, last night… have you done that before?” Danny asked, sounding all nervous and blustering.

Stiles blushed and shook his head. “Was is that obvious?”

“No!” He gasped. “I didn’t mean- I just had no idea that you were-- If I’d known-“ 

Stiles couldn’t help but giggle at Danny’s nervous stuttering. “You would’ve tapped this ass sooner?”

Danny’s jaw dropped, but then relaxed and closed. He looked at Stiles and said quietly, “I’d never have gotten near that ass if your interest in cock was public knowledge,” Stiles choked on his coffee at the work cock, which clearly gave Danny the confidence to lean in closer and say, “But if you wanna get technical, I haven’t quite tapped that ass, yet.”

“Are you flirting with me Danny?” Stiles has regained his composure and smirked as he took another sip of his coffee.

Danny looked up at Stiles, trying to read his eyes. “You letting me?”

Stiles nodded and stretched back in his seat exposing a sliver of skin between his jeans and t-shirt in the process and watched as Danny’s gaze was drawn to it. Then, possessed by someone with much more confidence than himself he tilted his head towards his ass and said, “This ass… totally tapable.”

It was Danny’s turn to choke on his coffee. Then Danny smiled at him. Stiles was a little caught in the moment and smiled back when he got a text from Derek: Dude. Jackson just bought us tickets to go to Hawaii for my birthday! Leaving on Monday!

Stiles felt suddenly guilty because for the first time all morning he had remembered his best friend was Danny’s ex. Danny didn't need to ask Stiles who the text was from, with Stiles it was always a given that if someone sent him a message, it was Derek.

“You know it was never serious- He never really liked me enough—but I’d understand if-“ Danny stuttered out, a habit Stiles was beginning to find very cute. 

Stiles reached out tentatively and touched his fingers over Danny’s. “I want to. It’s okay. He was just letting me know that he… here.“ Stiles passed his phone to Danny to read the message.

Danny just laughed and shook his head. “Just another day in the life of Derek Hale.”

“When we’re out together people just stare at him, like they don’t think he’s real.” 

“He’s fucking stunning,” Danny agreed, “so are you though. The two of you walking around together probably just blows minds.”

“Dude, I’m gonna put out, you don’t need to-“ Danny was looking at Stiles in a funny way that he couldn’t interpret.

“Oh my god. You’re not kidding are you? There is no way you don’t know how hot you are!”

“Being cute and in Derek’s league are two totally different things,” Stiles rolled his eyes. Derek was a god and he was, well just Stiles.

“You are a fucking babe and you are definitely in Derek’s league. Hotter even. Deal with it.” 

Stiles shook his head and laughed at Danny. “No one is hotter than Derek.”

“I’m going to pretend that you didn’t say that. I like you ok? Come to the movies with me tonight? We’ll grab dinner first,” Danny asked nervously.

“Sure,” Stiles beamed. 

 

***

 

Stiles walked over to Derek’s place a few blocks over after he said goodbye to Danny. Derek was sitting on the front step smoking, so Stiles just sat down next to him. 

“I have no idea what to pack. Is it weird that we’re going to Hawaii?” Derek blurted out without a hello. 

“I don’t think Jackson will care if you don’t pack a thing. And, it’s not weird. Going to Hawaii with him.” 

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever and now I’m going to be away…” Derek rested his head on Stiles’s shoulder. Stiles put his arm around him, like he always did.

“It’s okay. We’ll celebrate when you get back,” Stiles could feel the tension leaving Derek’s body as he held him. They sat in a comfortable silence as Derek smoked his cigarette before Stiles finally said, “Umm.. So.. I hung out with Danny last night.”

“That’s weird. Hope he’s not trying to steal you from me,” Derek stubbed out his cigarette a little more aggressively than necessary. 

“It’s not that weird though, right? I mean, you guys broke up before I even met either of you.”

“He didn’t take it well.”

“He’s cool. He doesn’t hate you.”

“No, he just wants to steal my best friend,” Derek huffed out.

“No one will ever steal me away from you. You and me, we’re like… Just… It’s different. We’ll always have each other… No one will ever get in the way of that.” 

Derek nuzzled in to Stiles’s neck and sighed. “You’re mine. Okay?”

Stiles let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, yours, forever.”

“Don’t you forget that,” Derek said and took Stiles’ hand.

Jackson walked up the path with a bag of groceries and gave Stiles a dirty look. Stiles let go of Derek's hand and stood to leave, he was too hungover to deal with Jackson's crap.

“Hey, let’s go do something,” Derek grabbed Stiles’ arm and pulled himself up. “Jackson’s kicking me out so he can have a nerd meeting.”

“We’re discussing Camus, you are both welcome to stick around and join in,” Jackson said to them. 

Stiles and Derek, shared a knowing look and laughed. “I’ll pass,” Stiles said to Jackson. 

Stiles stood to the side, intently studying the shrubbery outside the building as Derek and Jackson kissed goodbye. No matter what, watching Derek and Jackson together would probably always make his skin crawl. 

 

***

When he was in Derek’s passenger seat, watching him as he smoked another cigarette, windows rolled down and radio blasting, Stiles could pretend that Jackson didn’t exist, that it was still just the two of them.

“Where we going?” Stiles asked distractedly. 

“Look in the glove box, thought we could go to the beach.” 

Stiles opened the glove box and found the Hello Kitty box that Derek stored his pot in. “Sweet. Won’t you get in trouble? With. Jackson,” he teased.

“Just because Jackson is a recovering coke head doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be allowed to smoke some pot with my best friend. I would never do it in front of him.”

“Derek. Do you guys have anything in common?”

“Course,” Derek grinned back at him.

“Other than hot gay sex?” Stiles rolled his eyes.

“Well… there is a lot of hot gay sex.” Derek smirked. “But he’s really smart, and he thinks I’m smart too, and it’s… I like it.”

“I think you’re smart,” Stiles said.

“Which is why I’m gonna marry you, Jackson will just provide me with all the sex that I need since you’re never going to put out.”

Stiles blushed. He couldn't help it sometimes around Derek. He turned his head to look out the window and willed away the urge to say something stupid.

“Love you too,” he tried to sound casual. “You fucking suck though, leaving me here while you go drink cocktails and lie in the sun in Hawaii.”

Derek pulled in to the parking lot that looked over the surf beach and turned off his engine. He lit up the small pipe from the box, before passing it to Stiles. Hours went by, but they never noticed things like time when they were together. They were always too engrossed in each other and their conversation. It’s wasn’t until Derek’s stomach rumbled that it occurred to them to leave.

“I need Astro burger. Like, now,” Derek said, already with the key in the ignition.

“Oh my god. Yes. Please,” Stiles groaned, then his phone beeped, it was a message from Danny. Pick you up in hour? “Fuck. I can’t.”

“Hot date?” Derek joked.

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know. Maybe?” 

“Thanks for telling me you were seeing someone. Who is she?” Derek said suddenly very annoyed.

“It’s not a-“ Stiles said then shut his mouth. He still hadn’t had the I-like-guys conversation with him yet and he was still a little afraid. Afraid that Derek would think he’d lied about their whole friendship because he was in love with him. He also didn’t know how Derek would react to him and Danny on top of it all. It seemed like a line he wasn’t supposed to be crossing, dating his best friend's ex.

“Jesus, give me a heart attack why don't you? Just give me warning when you are ready to start dating again, I need to mentally prepare myself.”

Stiles laughed, but Derek’s face was stone-like. “Wait, seriously?”

Derek shot a possessive look at Stiles. “I don’t like having to share you. Erica didn’t count, she was too far away.”

“Okay alpha wolf.” Stiles rolled his eyes, but couldn’t ignore the swell of his heart and the sharp jolt that he could feel in his stomach. “I don’t like to share you either, but I deal with it.”

Derek grabbed Stiles' hand and held it down on top of his leg as he drove with the other. “You will always come first.”

Stiles swallowed a loud gulp. “And you wonder why Jackson hates me?”

“He just doesn’t understand us, he thinks we’re co-dependent.” 

“Nah, we’re not co-dependent, we just need to do everything together and like each other more than every other person in the world.”

Derek squeezed his hand. “He’s just jealous because he knows that I like you more than I do him.”

They drove in silence for the next five minutes, Derek didn’t loosen his grip on his hand, and Stiles didn’t try to take it back off of him. He started to feel really guilty about lying to Derek about Danny. “I am going on a date tonight. I’m not dating, this is new, first date. You know I would tell you if I was dating,” Stiles blurted out, nervous for no easily explainable reason.

Derek didn’t hide his angry pout. “You are going to sit there and watch me eat Astro burger as punishment.”

“Hey, until you finally ask me to elope with you, you’re just gonna have to deal with me dating.”

“Can we get married by an Elvis impersonator?” Derek tilted his head towards Stiles and smiled broadly.

“Of course. But only if we get to honeymoon at Disneyland.” 

“I could take you to Disneyland tomorrow,” Derek laughed, “shouldn’t we step it up for the honeymoon?”

“Well, I would have said Hawaii, but you’ve ruined it now.”

“Who are you going on a date with?” Derek asked, suddenly serious.

“Does it matter?” Stiles pulse started racing, he wasn’t ready to have this conversation. “It’s nothing.”

“But you’ll fuck her?” Derek spat out, and then winced. “Fuck. Sorry, I’m being a jealous psycho right now. You deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks,” Stiles laughed, “psycho.”

“Shut up. You love it.”

“Yeah. I do,” Stiles said, squeezing Derek’s hand one last time, before taking his hand back. I’m fucked, he thought.

 

 ***

 

Stiles and Danny’s date goes well. It was easy and casual and pretty much like every other time they’d hung out before but with ninety percent more making out. There was some hand holding during the movie, and Stiles had to admit it felt pretty good to be allowed to stroke the wrist of the guy whose hand you were holding as opposed to the constant sexual frustration of Derek’s affectionate touches. As they walked out of the movies Stiles switched his phone back on and was bombarded with text messages from Derek:

6:07pm Good luck. 

7:00pm Hot date huh? 

8:17pm Use protection. I’m not ready to raise kids.

8:24pm Actually, we’d be the cutest family. Would you be the mom or the dad?

9:10pm Jackson’s friends are still here. Ditch your date. Come save me.

10:00pm Running away from home. If they find me in a ditch it’s your fault :P

 

“Is everything okay?” Danny sounded worried. 

Stiles realized he had stopped talking a few minutes ago and looked up at Danny, embarrassed. “Sorry, Derek was bored I guess,” he slipped the phone back in his pocket, “You wanna go grab a drink somewhere?”

Danny nodded and pulled Stiles in to a kiss, and it wasn’t long before Stiles had Danny pinned to the door of his car. Kissing Danny was almost everything he had been missing. Almost. 

Danny pulled back from Stiles, “Uhh, let’s grab that drink kay?”

 

***

 

They stood in the parking lot at the Mercury Lounge, the local wine bar where everyone they knew hung out, but Danny was clearly hesitant to go in. 

“Don’t look so nervous, how many times have we come here together before? Chill dude,” Stiles said trying to reassure him that it wasn't going to ruin his life to be seen with Danny on a date.

“I wasn’t sure. I mean. We’ll see people and, are you sure? You’ve been gay for what, a day?” 

Stiles laughed and pulled Danny into a headlock, “You’re cute when you spaz out.”

They walked in and took a seat at the bar where Isaac was working. Stiles ordered them both a beer, his nonchalance settling Danny’s nerves only slightly.

“You motherfucker,” came Derek’s voice from behind him before he pulled Stiles into a hug and slid in to the seat on the other side of him, completely ignoring Danny. “I thought you were on a date.”

Danny gripped his beer bottle too tightly and it slipped out of his hand; beer spilling on the counter, momentarily distracting both Stiles and Derek. Isaac just laughed at him and wiped it up. “Hey, Derek,” Danny stuttered out.

Derek nodded, “Danny.” Then turned his attention back to Stiles who had remained silent. “I had to get out of the house, they were actually debating whether brie or camembert was the superior cheese. Didn’t you get my messages?”

Stiles laughed, “Yeah, you sent me, like, eighty.”

“You ignored them,” Derek sounded like a child as he stared hard at the counter.

“No, I just got them. Date. Remember?” 

Derek looked up and raised his eyebrows, like he didn’t believe Stiles. “Come outside with me while I smoke?” 

Stiles shook his head, “I can’t…”

Danny leaned in and whispered to him, “It’s okay, I’m gonna go say hi to Allison, see you in a min, alright?” 

Stiles furrowed his brow, asking silently if Danny was sure. Danny just smiled back and nodded. Derek was watching the interaction between them with curiosity, and as soon as Danny stood up to leave he grabbed Stiles’ arm pulling him toward the back door of the bar. 

There were too many people in the outside courtyard area for Derek’s taste so he ushered Stiles toward the back parking lot where it was empty, and quiet.

“What’s going on Stiles? Did I do something? Are you mad at me for going to Hawaii?” Derek spat out.

“What?” Stiles was shocked at the suggestion. “Of course not. I didn’t ignore your texts Derek. I swear I just got them.”

Derek lit a cigarette and leaned against the back wall of the bar. “Why are you with Danny?” His sad tone gave away his comprehension.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you. I didn’t know if it was okay, god, I suck don’t I? I guess if I really believed you didn’t care about him I would have just told you,” Stiles blurted out.

“I don’t understand,” Derek had never sounded more lost.

“Please don’t hate me. I like Danny but I will end it now if you aren’t okay with it.”

Derek pulled Stiles in to a hug, and spoke in to the back of his neck because he wouldn’t let go. “I don’t. I couldn’t… You never told me you liked guys.”

Stiles moved back from the hug and took a puff from Derek’s cigarette, which just made him cough. “I figured you would be okay with it, being a big homo and all,” he lied.

Derek laughed, “You asshole. Kind of a glaring oversight not telling your gay best friend…” he took his cigarette back and elbowed Stiles lightly in the ribs. “Jesus, so what, you’re bi?”

Stiles leaned his head back against the brick wall, shoulders touching Derek’s, eyes at his feet. “I don’t know. I never really had the opportunity before to test it out.”

Derek choked on his laugh. “Stiles, your mere existence is opportunity.” 

“I don’t know. I always figured I was bisexual, but I’d never been with a guy, just Erica.”

“And now?” Derek said, not hiding his irritation. 

“I don’t know. I guess I’m gay.”

“Gay,” Derek stubbed his cigarette out with his boot. “Mother. Fucker.” Each word was dotted with anger, “You and Danny? You’ve slept with him?”

“No. Kinda. Last night. There was drinking and spin the bottle and then some naked boy stuff, but we didn’t like, have sex,” Stiles said defensively. Stiles watched as Derek slammed his head back against the wall. “I’m sorry Derek. It was shitty of me to hook up with your ex.”

“I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at him. I’m just-” Derek kicked his heel against the wall and ground his jaw. “I’ve got to get out of here. Later.”

Before Stiles could stop him Derek was in his car and driving away. Stiles slumped down against the wall, feeling sick to his stomach. Danny found him still sitting there, ten minutes later.

“Stiles,” Danny asked tentatively. “Everything okay? Where’s Derek?”

Stiles looked up at Danny, before pulling himself up to stand. “Yeah. Sorry. I’m like the worst date ever, huh?”

Danny twisted his mouth, “I wouldn’t say that. But, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, no, I don’t know. Derek is mad. I’m an asshole. I was selfish. I knew this would hurt him but I wanted you so I didn’t care,” Stiles said, staring at Danny’s feet.

“That’s a lot of past tense there. Is this… but Derek didn’t even like me?”

“I’m sorry Danny. I like you. I really like you, but it’s Derek, and I have to fix this.”

“Yeah. Course. Uhh, so I guess this is it then? We’re putting a pin in it?” 

“I hope not. He’ll come around,” Stiles says but Danny scoffs loudly. “You don’t have to like, wait for me, but maybe we could revisit this in the future?”

“Did Derek even know you liked guys before he saw you with me tonight Stiles?” Danny said skeptically.

Stiles shook his head, “It’s a lot for him to take in, but that’s why I’m sure he’ll come around.”

Danny let out a solemn laugh. “I don’t think that’s ever going to happen. But I hope we’ll stay friends?”

Stiles thought Danny was being a little bit dramatic. “Dude, of course.”

“Alright, well on that note, I think I’m going to call it a night. Need a ride?”

“Thanks, uhh, Derek’s is on the next block, I think I’ll walk over and try talk to him.”

Stiles waved goodbye before he took off sprinting towards Derek’s place. He could feel the guilt seeping out of every pore of his skin. What the fuck were you thinking dude?  

He ran all the way to Derek’s door, the NOFX blasting on the stereo drowned the sound of his knocking so he let himself in. Jackson’s friends had clearly given up on the cheese and intellectual discussion and were dancing around the living room, but Jackson and Derek weren’t anywhere to be seen. Their bedroom was empty, so Stiles decided to sit and wait. 

While he was studying Jackson’s stupid pez collection he heard noises coming from the room next door. A moment later the bathroom door opened and Jackson and a girl came spilling out, giggling and sniffing.  Guess Jackson didn’t stop doing coke after all.

Jackson stopped walking suddenly when he noticed the movement in the bedroom.

“Jesus. I thought you were Derek,” he said, startled, and clearly relieved.

“I’m looking for him.”

“Course you are,” Jackson replied rudely.

“You’re the guy in the kissing polaroid!” The blonde girl said to Stiles. “Are you really straight?” 

Stiles looked between Jackson and the girl, not really sure where the conversation was headed. Jackson looked like he was waiting on his answer, as well.  

“I- look, is Derek here?” Stiles wasn’t really in the mood to deal with a drunk and high Jackson.

“Haven’t seen him. Figured he was with you,” Jackson said.

“Let’s fucking dance!” The girl said as she pulled Jackson’s arm, and then they were gone.  

Stiles tried calling Derek again but his phone was still switched off. He tried to wait for him, but when Jackson stood in the doorway and glares at him a few minutes later he decided to he walk the three blocks back to his apartment. 

 

***

 

A morose looking Derek was at his doorstep waiting for him when he got home. Stiles opened his door and Derek followed him in silently. 

“Vodka shots?” Stiles said, pathetically, as he turned on the lights and walked toward the kitchen.

Derek nodded before walking into the bathroom. Stiles could hear him running the taps. So he poured a shot each for them and waited.

“I’m sorry. That was a total dick move, taking off earlier,” Derek said emerging from the bathroom, face wet from splashing water on it, but he still refused eye contact with Stiles.

“No,” Stiles shook his head as he walked toward Derek. “This is all my fault.”

“Where’s Danny?”

“Home? I don’t know. I came after you but you weren’t at home. Jackson was kinda fucked up dude.”

Derek let out a cynical laugh. “Yeah, what’s new?” 

“I thought he was clean.”

Derek shrugged, then picked up his shot glass to toast before he drank, “To boyfriends.”

Stiles gave him a pained look but drank anyway. “Danny isn’t my boyfriend, I told him tonight that I couldn’t… that it probably wouldn’t work.”

Derek bit his lip, “But you like him?”

“I like you more. It’s not worth it.”

“You don’t like me enough though,” Derek sounded broken.

“Hey,” Stiles pushed Derek’s head up so their eyes met for the first time since they had walked into the apartment, “I would do anything for you, you know that.”

“Except be honest with me,” Derek spat out, and yeah Stiles deserved the anger directed at him. 

“I just—  You said it was lucky I wasn’t gay, that we wouldn’t be such good friends. I just didn’t want to ruin it, to make you think I was only your friend because I wanted to sleep with you or something..”

“You didn’t tell me you were gay because of the thing I said to you when I was drunk and trying to convince myself that it was a good thing my soul mate was straight?”

Stiles furrowed his brows, “Soul mate?”

Derek sneered and spat back, “Fuck you, you know we’re fucking soul mates.”

Stiles held Derek’s gaze then nodded his head, conceding with a sigh, “Yeah."

“Then why can’t I have you?” Derek whispered sadly, breaking their eye contact, to look down at his hands resting on the kitchen counter.

Stiles touched Derek’s face lightly and tilted it up to look into his eyes, “You want me?” He asked tentatively.

“Of course I want you,” Derek said it like it was the most obvious statement in the world.

“What about Jackson?” Stiles asked slowly.

Derek looked puzzled, like he was momentarily unable to match the name with a face, “Jackson.”

“Are you in love with him?” 

“No. I’m in love with you,” Derek replied matter-of-factly.

 “Jesus Derek, I—“ Stiles started as he cornered Derek against the counter, but the closer her got to him the faster he lost his ability to think reasonably. He slammed his body against Derek’s, took his face with both hands and captured his mouth with his own.

Derek kissed him back without hesitation, he kissed Stiles with everything he had. It was unsurprisingly the best kiss Stiles had ever had, of course Derek kisses like he should win an MTV award for it, he thought as he explored Derek’s mouth with his tongue. Derek grabbed Stiles around his waist and pulled him closer so he could feel the hard length of Derek’s cock through his jeans against his leg.

He pulled away for a moment, groaning as Derek’s hips ground against his own. “What are we doing?” He breathed against Derek’s lips.

“Please,” Derek moaned, leaning in for another kiss, and Stiles couldn't help but kiss him back. He almost let himself forget who they were. He pulled away again and stroked his hand through Derek’s hair. 

“Dude. I just. I love you,” Stiles says slowly, causing Derek to grin at the admission, “I’m so fucking in love with you, but, dude, I can’t have an affair with you.”

Derek trailed his fingers along the hard muscles of Stiles’ arms, “I don’t want to have an affair with you. I’ll move out of Jackson’s tonight, I don’t want anyone else.”

Derek slipped down to his knees and unzipped Stiles’ jeans before he had time to comprehend what was going on. “Don’t. I can’t,” Stiles moaned, as Derek engulfed his cock with the wetness of his mouth.

Derek sucked on the head of his cock like it was all he ever wanted and Stiles couldn’t find any more words of protest. Derek licked along the length of his cock before he started bobbing up and down on it. Stiles was unable to resist grabbing Derek’s head and holding it as he fucked into Derek’s mouth.

He was so close to coming when he heard, “Open up you motherfucker,” Jackson’s voice boomed through Stiles’ front door. 

Stiles let go of Derek’s head, but Derek continued to suck Stiles’ cock like a pro, taking it in deep and sucking like a fucking vacuum. 

“Derek. Maybe we should?” Stiles panted out with all the focus he could muster.

Derek just shook his head as he ran his tongue around the head of his cock before he dove back in. 

“I can see the lights you fucking asshole, open up. Derek!!” Jackson shouted again, but Derek only sucked more enthusiastically on Stiles’ cock.

He was torn but Derek’s mouth on his dick won over dealing with Derek's coke head boyfriend. He put a hand back on Derek’s head unable to think about anything other than Derek’s amazing mouth sucking on his cock; before Jackson could shout again he was shooting come down Derek’s throat. Derek didn’t take his mouth away from his cock until he’d swallowed every last drop. Stiles collapsed in a heap next to Derek and Derek tumbled in to him, and kissed him in to the floor.

“Don’t you think we should answer the door?” Stiles asked between kisses.

“So Jackson can take his coke rage out on you?” 

“You make a good point… but how would he even…?”

“Called him. When I was waiting for you to come home, told him it was over.”

“You did? Wow. But, that… still… why would he?”

“Stiles, the only photo I have framed is the polaroid of us kissing, everyone knows that I’m psychotically in love with your goofy ass.”

“Open up Stilinski,” Jackson boomed through the door.

“Don’t worry,” Derek stood up and reached out to take Stiles’ hand, “He’ll go away. I promise I'll talk to him tomorrow when he isn’t drunk and high and can process information without wanting to kill someone.”

Stiles let himself be pulled up but felt weird about all of it, “I want to rip off all of your clothes and do everything dirty thing I’ve been thinking about for the past two years, but you need to properly end things with Jackson. A phone call to a wasted guy doesn’t really count.” 

Derek started walking to the bedroom and dragged Stiles along behind him. He wasn’t sure what he had expected Derek to do when they got into his bedroom but it wasn't for Derek to sit on his bed while he took his shoes off and say, “Tonight we can just cuddle. I want you to feel like we’re starting this right. Can I borrow some pajama bottoms? I’m going to need two layers of clothing at least if I'm gonna keep my filthy paws off your silky drawers.”

“You really want to just cuddle?” Stiles searched through his top drawer and pulled out two pairs of pajama pants. 

Derek looked up at him like he was stupid, “Of course I don’t want to just cuddle,” he stood and dropped his jeans to the floor. Stiles couldn’t take his gaze away from Derek’s sizable cock straining in his tight boxer briefs. Stiles handed the pajama pants over without looking away from Derek's dick. Derek stepped into the pants and pulled them up, taking Stiles’ view of the outline of his cock with them. “I want to fuck you. I want to be inside of you. I want to mark you with my teeth and make you mine forever. I want to kiss you while I fuck you and look into your eyes as I come and then I want to do it again. I want to keep fucking you until you can’t remember your name., until the only thing you know for sure anymore is that I love you and you’re mine.” 

“Oh my god,” Stiles said, his brain had short circuited. He wasn’t even in control anymore when he surged forward and kissed Derek. He pulled away for a moment, whispering against Derek's lips, “This is not a good way for us to start.”

Derek manhandled Stiles down on to the bed and leaned over him, “You’re right, we could have started this two years ago. Jesus. I didn’t think I could ever have you,” He kissed along his neck, making Stiles shiver as he trailed his hand down his side. “Stiles, does it really matter how we start if we know we’re never going to end?”

Derek’s wet mouth was back on his and Stiles’ was done with trying to be the better person. They nipped and kissed at each others lips, taking their time, ignoring the urgency they both felt to come. “I want to see you naked,” Stiles said as Derek’s mouth made it’s way back down along his neck.

Derek looked up and rubbed his hand along Stiles’ jean clad erection, “Have you thought about me naked?”

Stiles groaned at the thought, “It’s hard not to when you refuse to wear a shirt around me eighty percent of the time.”

Derek sat back on his heels and cockily raised an eyebrow, “Hard huh?” He pulled off his t-shirt giving Stiles an eyeful of Derek’s tanned chiseled chest.

Stiles didn’t even try to tease him back, just nodded wide eyed, “You are so fucking beautiful I can’t stand to be around you most of the time.”

“I know the feeling,” he said and leaned down to kiss Stiles again. Stiles took the opportunity to run his hands down Derek’s perfectly sculpted body. He’d seen Derek shirtless more times than he could count, but he’d never been able to touch before; there was just so much to touch. He sat up, urging Derek to lie down, Stiles was desperate to trace the lines of muscle of Derek's body with his tongue.

“You know what makes me crazy though?” Stiles stroked his hand along Derek’s chest hair. “When I think about your chest hair it always makes me come.”

Derek groaned and flipped Stiles so he was now underneath him on the bed, “You’ve thought about me when you jack off?”

“Almost exclusively, I thought we established that with the thinking about you naked thi—“ he lost his train of thought as Derek unbuttoned Stiles jeans and slid his hand inside his pants. He stroked up and down the length of Stiles cock as he leaned in to kiss him again. Stiles shook his head and pulled back. “I thought you were going to get naked.” 

Derek raised both eyebrows then shrugged, stepped off the bed; then with a grace that Stiles could never achieve dropped his pants to his feet. He smirked at Stiles’ glazed expression before he hooked his fingers into his boxer briefs pulling them down, setting his cock free. He didn’t make it back to the bed because Stiles had moved down on to his knees in front of Derek. He grabbed his cock then licked up the length of it. Derek moaned and ran his fingers through Stiles hair but didn’t grab his head, just rested his hand there softly. 

Stiles was bobbing his head up and down on Derek’s dick. Derek looked down sadly when Stiles pulled his mouth off of his cock, but he smiled when he saw Stiles reach into the desk drawer and pull out lube and a box of condoms. Derek raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were going to fuck me?” Stiles said as he took off the last of his clothes.

Derek made a hungry noise and guided him to the end of the bed, pulling one leg up on to the mattress, leaving the other hanging over the edge. He leaned over Stiles without putting his body weight on him, “I have to get you ready,” Stiles heard the familiar sound of the lube bottle being squeezed. Derek lubed up his fingers and circled around Stiles’ ass before he carefully slipped in a finger. Stiles just nodded, trusting Derek. Derek leaned in closer and kissed him as he gently added more fingers into his ass and fucking Stiles with them until he finally whispered to Stiles, “Are you ready?”

Stiles grabbed Derek’s cock and pulled on it, “Gonna make me forget my name aren’t you?”

Derek ripped open the condom and Stiles saw his hands shake a little as he put it on. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Stiles’ lips as he lined his dick up to his ass. “I’ve never done this with someone I was in love with before."

He didn’t give Stiles time to process before he slid his cock slowly inside of him. He kissed him again as he slowly built up a rhythm. With each thrust he went a little harder, a little faster until he was gripping Stiles’ knee and pounding in to him, hitting Stiles’ prostate with almost every thrust. Stiles suddenly understood what Erica meant about him not really being into sex, because he was more turned on than he’d ever been in his life. Every thrust just brought him closer to coming, he started jerking himself off as Derek fucked him.

Derek looked down at Stiles hand jerking himself off, and groaned, “Oh fuck. That’s so fucking. Jesus. Stiles,” He crawled up the bed and wrapped Stiles’ legs around his hips so he could kiss him. 

Stiles was close, and when Derek whispered on his lips, “Look at me,” He opened his eyes and started coming. Derek bit down on his Stiles’ lip and didn’t take his eyes away from Stiles'. He groaned and Stiles felt Derek's body stiffen as he came inside of him, kissing Stiles lazily as he rode out the waves of his orgasm before collapsing on top of Stiles in a sweaty heap.

They lay in each others arms a little brain dead from the sex before they both started laughing. Stiles leaned up and kissed Derek, “That was probably the best thing that I have ever done.”

Derek rolled off of Stiles to lie alongside him and smiled, “That was definitely the best thing I’ve ever done.” 

Stiles studied Derek’s happy face, “You really love me don’t you? I mean, you really are in love with me aren’t you?" 

“Duh,” Derek poked him in the chest and bit down a grin, “But since you love me too, I think we’re gonna have to call off the whole elvis impersonator in vegas." 

“Oh? I'm not marriage material now you know that I put out?”

“Oh no. I’m marrying you. We’re just not going to elope. We’re going to do it properly,” Stiles looked at him dubiously, but Derek just laughed, “Don’t worry. I’ll ask you again when we’re not naked." 

Stiles leaned forward and pulled Derek on top of him for another kiss, “Hey, nothing wrong with being naked,” he pulled back and whispered in Derek’s ear, “I still remember my name, you gonna do something about that?”