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Nothing says 'You're Fucked!' like a Pissed Off Captain America

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Peter is seventeen and Wade's on a mission right now.

They're together?

Well, they you know, kiss and make out. Wade likes to bring Peter Mexican when he feels like it, making Peter sit and either play video games or watch movies with him.

It's nice.

Peter likes it. He's actually excited when he sees Wade or hears from the Avengers that "Deadpool's in town. Watch yourself."

Peter is contemplating when Wade is going to jump his bones like he says he will everytime he sees him when of course all hell breaks loose in the city.

Alien invasion.

Peter rolls his eyes. God, this is so stupid. What is this, the third alien invasion in the last six months?

Peter sighs, jumping from his perch and swinging towards the action. The Avengers are already there.

Peter moves mechanically, not really paying attention like he should. All he's doing in webbing aliens together or cocooning them. He'll kick a couple when they get too close to one of the Avengers (got to watch their back if he ever wants to be one), but it's the usual. He gets more of a challenge from Rhino, like come one!

Of course he gets too cocky and it all bites him in the ass. Apparently, he's been fighting the foot soldiers, the real big guys are swarming now.

They are huge.

Okay, so maybe Rhino is more of a challenge, but not as bad as multiple Rhinos. More like multiple Hulks.

In the chaos he manages to come toward Captain America, both fighting back to back.

"Captain, I think they're trying to herd us sir!" Spider-man shouts over the fighting, knocking a Hulk 2.0 into an abandoned bus.

"I think you're right Spider-man!" The Captain blocks a spear with his shield, stopping it from impaling Peter in the back.

"Thanks!" He knocks another alien away from the Captain in return.

The fighting must go on for a while, Peter is so exhausted. He can barely remain on his feet. He knows he got sliced on his back, but it's not till the fighting is done and he's standing (swaying) next to Captain America when he looks down and sees that in the last few minutes of where he's standing, there's a pool of blood.

He can sort of hear what the Captain is saying, "Thank you for your help Spider-man, we really appreciate it."

"Yeah. Yeah, no problem," his vision is spotting as the dizziness finally gets to him. "Uh Captain. I think I'm going to pass out."

The last thing he hears is Captain America calling his superhero name.


Okay, so nothing really says "You're fucked!" like a pissed off Captain America at the end of your bed.

Well, Peter is in a hospital bed or some sort of medical room anyway, and he's not Spider-man. Oh no! He's is currently maskless with a glowering Captain America at his feet, arms crossed and looking like he might go on a killing spree, one that would rival the Hulk horror stories.

Oh shit.

"Uh. C-Captain."

"How old are you son?" Are his first words.

"I'm nineteen." Peter says.

The glare only intensifies.

Damn, why don't they just have criminals in a room with a pissed Captain America? They would all sing like canaries!

Peter looks down at the IV in his arm so he doesn’t have to look the Captain in the face. He mumbles, "Seventeen and half."

The Captain rubs his temples before pinching the bridge of his nose. "You have been Spider-man," he emphasizes on the 'man', "since you were fifteen?"

Peter laces his hands together behind his head, squeezing his eyes closed, "Yeah...I got bit by a radioactive spider to make a long story short."

The Captain looks like he wants to strangle Peter, but before he can Tony Stark comes stumbling through the door like he was leaning against it while he opened it. "A radioactive spider you say?!?"

He looks like a kid in a candy shop.

The Captain glares at Mr.Stark, "Tony, no. We are-"

"Oh hush Spangles, it's fine. The kid's alive. Now, how extensive are your powers?"

Hawkeye falls from the ceiling next to Peter's bed, causing Peter to launch toward it, sticking to it.

Everyone looks in shock up at the kid in SHIELD clothes, stinking bare feet and hands to the ceiling.

Peter looks down at them with wide eyes.

Bruce Banner walks in, looking at Peter with interest but doesn't say anything.

The Black Widow follows him in with Thor.

“Man of Spiders! Why are you on the ceiling?”

Hawkeye speaks, looking at Peter with a raised eyebrow, "You going to give us a name kid?"

"You don't already know it?"

Widow gives a deadly smile, "It seems only polite."

Peter nods falling back toward the bed he was in, his healing making his back more sore than excruciating pain, "I'm Peter Parker."

Tony raises an eyebrow, "The kid who takes pictures of Spider-man?"

Hawkeye loses it, "Y-you take selfies and sell them!?!" He asks through hysterical laughter.

Peter can't help but grin and shrug.

It could have gone worse, at least they seem pretty cool with him.

"Peter," the Captain says sternly, "we still have to talk-"

"Oh shut up Capsicle, leave the kid alone, we can always talk about it later." Tony rolls his eyes, winking at Peter.

“Peter,” Bruce asks, “you were bitten by a radioactive spider?”

Cap rolls his eyes looking exasperated. “Were all of you listening through the door?”

Hawkeye raises a hand, “I was in the air vents.”

Thor smiles down at Peter, “Peter Parker, I am Thor Odinson. It is nice to finally meet you beyond being the Man of Spiders.”

Peter shakes Thor’s hand, and flinches when Thor clasps a hand on his shoulder. “Nice to meet you too Thor.”

Black Widow comes over and gives Peter a softer smile than from before, “I am Natasha Romanov. If you call me anything other than Natasha, Tasha, Nat, or my code name, I will stab you.” Her smiles doesn’t change throughout that statement.

“Okay Natasha.” He feels a bit awkward with her looking at him until Hawkeye just steals the show.

“I’m Clint! Clint Barton! I prefer to be called Clint the Awesome.”

Natasha shoots him down, “No you don’t.”

Clint looks at her like she’s wounded him.

While those two are arguing, Bruce get’s Peter’s attention.

“Peter, I am Bruce Banner.”

Peter smiles at him, “I know who you are doctor banner. Your research helped a bit with the whole spider thing.”

Before Tony, Bruce, and Peter can get involved in a science discussion, Cap get’s Peter’s attention.

“Peter,” he holds out his hand. “I’m Steve Rogers. And I’m not introducing you into the Avengers, not yet at least.”

Peter’s eyes light up.

“You are definitely too young, but we will watch your back. From now on and even when you do become an Avenger. All of us are here for you.”