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Everyone Has a Tequila Story

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“No, no, no- wait- Jason, you seriou-you seriously want me to suck your dick?”

“You don’t wanna?”

“No, I don’t think it’s a matter of whether or not I wanna, it’s more- is this really happening? And why I am I not grossed out by this?”

This time, it was Nico’s hand that lingered on his body.

“Because you’ve secretly always been curious about it?”

Percy turned to Nico, grinning without any real reason, and having to close an eye to bring his friend’s face into focus.

“Or it could be like… tastelessness ,” he mused. “You know how once you’ve drunkeded a bunch of nasty bourbon and then you drink more, you don’t taste it anymore? Does taste even exist when you’re drunk? Do dicks even really count as dicks?

Nico kissed him, slow and lazy and pushy, with a lot of tongue. It was hot. Not hot as in sexy , but hot as in their breaths were steaming and Percy felt dizzy .

He pulled away and opened his eyes. The world stopped spinning.

Nico laughed.

Jason laughed.

He was kissing again. It was Jason this time, except Jason hadn’t initiated it.

Percy could feel Jason’s surprise in the way his shoulders were pulled back, the way his hands didn’t settle onto Percy’s body. Then Jason pushed his head forward, his lips seemingly asking a hesitant question.

Percy pulled away, his hands buried in Jason’s hair, his back arched to push his ass out. He felt sexy .

“How do you want me?”

His voice came out darker, sultrier, than he’d even hoped for. Jason gulped and his hand finally found Percy’s thigh, setting just the very fingertips down like he wasn’t sure whether he had permission to land.

“Wh-whatever works.”

Percy tried to slither down Jason’s body, his own going all sultry serpentine as his hips swayed, but his knee missed its mark and landed hard on the floor. Nico and Jason both lurched after him to ask if he was ok.

It didn’t even hurt. It pulsed in a way that told Percy he’d have a pretty bad limp tomorrow, but he slid the rest of the way down just fine, settling in between Jason’s thighs and trying to get at the zipper. It was harder to take someone else’s pants off than it was your own, but he managed to slow his enthusiastic fingers enough to get it done.

Jason’s cock bounced across onto his belly as it was freed.

It was pinker than his own, and very different looking from this angle. Sure. Percy had seen the underside of his own dick but this was up close and personal. This was foreign territory.

He reached out for it and slurped at the side, curious about the texture of the skin under his tongue. Above him, Jason gasped, high and shocked. Nico groaned and slid off the couch.

Whoa there, Nico.

He tried to slur out a joke about Nico obviously having had too much but gave up after he failed enunciating the very first word . He just licked at Jason instead.

Nico had crawled around to kneel directly behind him, draping himself over Percy and watching him very sloppily kiss Jason’s dick. Because this was definitely not a blow job. He was pretty sure that if someone were to grade him on his blow job skills, he’d fail astronomically. Percy wasn’t interested in setting himself up for failure by actually trying , so he settled for low key mouthing all over his friend’s junk.

Percy’s jeans were pushed off his ass, the belt buckle clinking on the floor.

Feeling particularly dirty and naughty, Percy licked Jason’s balls. If the whole mouth-on-someone’s-dick thing didn’t make him feel whorish, this certainly did.

Percy imagined that Jason was a dirty trucker and he himself was some twinky prostitute that was being paid to lick Jason’s balls in a rest stop bathroom. Percy moaned at the image, glad that he was drunk and only partially responsible for having such weird fantasies all of a sudden.

He glanced up and the image shattered.

Jason was way too hot to ever be an ugly truck driver, even if he gained 100 pounds and picked up chain smoking. Suddenly overcome with the need to please his ridiculously hot friend, Percy decided that taking the plunge was worth it.

He went all-in for the blow job.

Jason’s hands quickly appeared in Percy’s hair, petting and pulling, showing their appreciation for Percy’s newfound talent for suction. Fingers rubbed over his asshole and he hummed his appreciation for Jason’s fingers.


Nico’s fingers.

And they were wet.

Percy pulled off Jason’s dick, now thoroughly confused. He turned his head and the world spun the wrong way.

“What are you doin’?”

Nico kissed his shoulder. Or his t-shirt, technically.

“Opening you up.”


“I’m going to fuck you, Percy, remember?”

Percy’s head swam. Ummmm… not really. But ok.

“I bet you’ll take cock so good, Percy.”

That was Jason.

Percy started turning toward him, but his chest was already swelling with pride before he ever saw the sincerity or arousal in Jason’s eyes. He hesitated, confused for a moment.

Jason’s dick twitched where it was resting on his abdomen. A slick finger pushed inside Percy and he shivered, spreading his knees.

“Jason’s right. You were made to be a bottom. I wish you could see it. So easily eating my finger.”

At the moment, Percy didn’t really have much control over what his body was doing, but he wasn’t about to argue. He decided that Nico wasn’t doing anything Percy didn’t want him to and refocused on Jason’s cock. He reached for it and picked it up once more, enjoying the feel of its mass in his hands.

Percy tongued the slit, ducking down to kiss the frenulum. He moaned as he pulled his hands up and down the length, completely enamored with the damn thing. This wasn’t just alcohol-induced “tastelessness” that was allowing him sexual ambiguity- he was genuinely enjoying touching this dick and kissing it and feeling it. Come to think of it, despite all the alcohol burning through his veins, he could taste it. He even liked the flavor.

He resumed suckling along the length, Jason groaning and pulling his hair at the teasing. Inside him, the thrusting felt wider and Percy had to shift his hips at the awkward stretch. He pushed his mouth entirely over the head of Jason’s cock, licking at the precome that was bubbling there, and pushed down, Jason all but mewling above him, his hips bucking lightly. His friend was courteous enough to not actually lift off the couch into Percy’s inexperienced and eager-to-gag-and-vomit-at-any-moment mouth.

At thinking the word “vomit,” his vision did a sharp u-turn, and Percy almost hurled right then and there. He pulled off Jason, gasping, blinking his eyes to try to set the world right again. It straightened, but remained blurry around the edges.

Water . I need some water,” Percy finally managed.

Jason immediately started trying to scramble onto his feet.

His knee clocked Percy square in the jaw.

Percy snapped around, more disoriented than ever, though nothing hurt. Nico was holding his waist from behind. Jason was apologizing.

He laughed, feeling a little embarrassed to hear himself outright cackling.

“I’m fine. I just need water. Or I’m pretty sure my hangover will kill me.”

Jason nodded and resumed his quest to fetch Percy a drink.

What Percy was really thinking about, though, was not the hangover. It was the fact that there was no way in Tartarus he would sober up before bed, and if he tried to lie down and close his eyes while the world was going wobbly and spinny…

He was going to throw up tonight. No amount of water in the world would prevent it.

He hoped Nico and Jason weren’t planning on kissing him good-morning, because it might be a bit more than they could handle.

Nico twisted and curled his finger and goddamn it was so wide .

Percy drunkenly ( duh ) tried to look under himself and almost toppled over. If it wasn’t for Nico tightening his arm around him, he would have face-planted. He straightened up and turned to look over his side.

“You want to see?”

“No, it’s just… how the fuck does your finger keep feeling bigger?

“I’m using three now.”

Percy gave him a wide-eyed, “Are you for fucking realsies, bro?” look and brought his own hand to eye level, holding up three fingers. Wow. Wowwww .


“You’re doing very well. All loose for me. It doesn’t hurt, does it?”

Percy shook his head.

“I don’t think so. I’m not super good at judging pain right now, but I don’t think I feel anything hurting hurting.”

“Good. Tell me if it does.”

“I got a water for everyone. Percy, you shouldn’t hide these in a cupboard. Took me forever to remember where they were.”

Percy grabbed the offered bottle and chugged it. He theoretically probably needed like, 20 fucking bottles in order to rehydrate. Maybe some Gatorade, too.

Jason eased himself onto the couch in front of Percy very carefully this time, not making any sudden motions so there wouldn’t be any more accidents. He pet Percy’s hair, and Percy couldn’t help but push against that hand, happy at the contact.

“You look amazing, by the way. Spread wide on Nico’s fingers. It looks so obscene and sexy. I really want to fuck your ass too.”

Percy tried to follow all the words while he finished destroying his water, but it took him a while to parse the whole thing. He’d got a bit stuck on, “You look amazing.”

Then he blushed and ducked. Yeah, he’d been blowing Jason for the last.... what, half hour? Ten minutes? And yeah, sure, Nico had his fingers deep inside him and was making Percy’s cock do jerky things by massaging that one perfect spot. But it was still very flattering- hearing Jason say he wanted to fuck him. Just like when Jason had said that he wanted Percy to blow him.

He looked behind him, kind of low-key hoping for the same kind of comment from his other friend. He was met with a kiss.

“Maybe next time, Grace. Tonight, Percy’s gorgeous ass is all mine.”

Percy blinked.

“Are you going to fuck me?”

Nico laughed.

“I said I would, didn’t I?”

Percy couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter.


Nico kissed him again.

“You’re gonna look so great, getting fucked on either end, taking it, moaning for more.”

Behind him, Jason groaned. Inside him, Nico’s fingers thrusted more aggressively.

“I’m almost kind of jealous of Grace. He’ll be the one who gets to see your pretty green eyes when we fuck you raw. See that beautiful flush and those divine eyelashes flutter when you orgasm.”

Percy moaned. Nico’s words were doing things to him just as strongly as Nico’s fingers were. A gentle hand pulled Percy’s face back around, and Jason guided him back to his cock, pushing Percy’s mouth open and forcing it down.

Percy didn’t mind.

“Don’t feel too bad, Nico. You’re the one that’ll get to see his tight hole stretched open so lewdly around yourself. You’ll see that gorgeous ass as it was meant to be viewed, submissive and full of cock.”

Percy moaned again. Ok, when did Jason and Nico get to be experts on exactly what should be said to make Percy feel all hot and bothered? And since when did he actually agree that his butt was made to be fucked? Because he’s pretty sure that hadn’t been part of his worldview like three fucking hours ago.

Yet, here he was, whining at Nico for pulling those fingers out of him and making him feel empty. Even a bit abandoned. He sucked tighter on Jason’s head, happy that at least that wasn’t going anywhere.

“Alright, Percy. Tell me if it hurts.”

Percy grunted, not interested in abandoning his thorough mapping of Jason’s dick with his tongue and lips.

Honestly, he was kind of hoping to go into deep throat territory, but wasn’t sure how to do it. Especially since he figured teeth might be an issue with that.

He felt a lot of pressure at his rim, and he had to brace his hands on Jason’s hips, gripping with all he had. Were they up to four fingers now? Closing his eyes, he tried to loosen his throat. Is that even a thing you can do? He pushed forward, but immediately gagged and choked. Jason groaned and pulled on Percy’s hair so hard it hurt before relaxing his grip.

Percy tried again, managing to suppress the gagging until it felt like the head might actually go down his throat.

Then he gagged and had to pull off again, really hoping his stomach would behave long enough to do this.

Fuck, Nico was stretching him so wide. Percy shifted, uncomfortable with the feeling of being so full. Not that the feeling was painful, exactly, it’s just that… it was just way too different from everyday sensations to be easy. Whatever.

“Fuck, Percy, you look so good, all open on my cock. You feel even better. So tight around me.”

On his… cock? Percy opened his eyes, confused for a moment. He stared at Jason’s pubic hair, trying to understand the situation. He had hands on his hips. One hand. Two hands.


Fuck! ” Nico cursed.

He was actually getting fucked .

Nico continued thrusting, which jostled Jason’s dick in Percy’s mouth in a way that had Percy fighting with his stomach contents. Percy pulled up and off, unable to take the abuse to his tonsils.

He spun around, perhaps more aggressively than he’d planned to, and smacked Nico’s hips.

“Nico, hold still! This is difficult.”

On the one hand, he should probably deal with the fact that his ass was currently occupied by cock. On the other, he wasn’t done investigating Jason yet and he really, really wanted to figure out deep-throating.

He turned back and found Jason a lot closer, kneeling on the floor with them. Actually, it was Percy’s cheek that found Jason by bumping right into Jason’s rib cage.

Percy backed up and leaned down to get at the cock again. He kissed the tip. Jason’s thumb asked him to open his mouth wider and he did so, pushing forward enthusiastically, sucking on his new favorite toy.

Jason’s hips rocked and Percy held his gagging off, instead pushing forward solidly.

It worked.

It actually worked .

He tried to exclaim, but it came muffled and useless, just vibrations along Jason’s shaft. Jason certainly appreciated that and his hips shoved forward into a deep thrust. Percy flailed, struggling with the intrusion, then realized he couldn’t breathe.

He pulled off gasping, his jaw already feeling tired.

Jason was already pushing back in, and Percy opened himself up to him once more, tears in his eyes from the pressure at the back of his mouth. He vaguely remembered that his eyes always teared up when he threw up.

Probably the same concept.

Probably shouldn’t be thinking about throwing up right now or this would not end well.

Nico finally thrust forward again, apparently unable to wait any longer. It didn’t matter anymore. Percy’s widened his legs, welcoming the action.

“Such a good boy for us-”

“-Taking both cocks-”

“You look so happy-”

“He sounds happy, too.”

“Did you finally find what you’ve always wanted Percy?”

“This is what you’ve always needed, isn’t it? A cock in every orifice?”

“God, you look so beautiful right now-”

“-Such a good bottom, opening himself up so gorgeously.”

Percy enjoyed the praise so much he wanted to die. He tried to spread his legs wider to let Nico in deeper, stay on Jason’s cock longer before pulling off for relief. Every effort seemed to rain more compliments and love on him.

He was so hard right now.

He could feel his dick swinging heavily between his legs, being jerked every which way by the force of two strong men fucking him on either side.

Jason came first.

Luckily, he pulled Percy off first, mostly , so his come hit the roof of Percy’s mouth rather than shooting into his throat, which, who knows what kind of effect that would have had.

Percy tried to use his tongue the best he could to get everything, but his mouth had been open at the moment, and come was dripping down his chin.

Jason pulled him up, even as Nico only sped up behind him, his fingers curling painfully into Percy’s hipbone.

It was a slow, sloppy kiss and it was exactly what Percy needed after having his face and mouth coated in come. He clung desperately to Jason as he was pushed back into a vertical kneeling position. A hand wrapped around his dick. A large, warm hand. Jason’s hand. Then another hand cupped his balls, massaging roughly. That was definitely Nico’s hand.

Percy bucked wildly, unsure whether to push back onto Nico or into those lovely hands that were squeezing him in all the right ways.

He came, moaning against Jason’s tongue. Then everything was too much, too sensitive, like his drunkenness decided to skip right over the orgasmic bliss stage. Nico’s cock inside him felt like it was trying to kill Percy with sensory overload. His fingers dug into Jason’s shoulders to communicate the pain. Jason just started pulling away from the kiss when Nico came, his turbulent thrusts making Percy twitch and spasm down below as he tried to get away from his own nerve-endings.

Nico was kissing his neck, panting heavily. Jason was kissing his ear, murmuring soft praise at how well Percy had taken both cocks. They were lying on the floor. The light was still on. Percy’s brain was too tired to make the world spin as his eyes slipped shut.


The light was still on, but hours had passed.

Percy’s mouth tasted stale, but that wasn’t the reason he was awake. Neither his headache, which was sharply cutting through his still disoriented haze, nor the soreness in his throat and ass were what woke him up. Percy struggled to his feet from between Jason and Nico. They both jerked awake and he waved them off, turning and heading for the bathroom, the sharp pain in his knee slowing his progress.

He’d known he would throw up tonight.

He was always right about this sort of thing.


By the time sunlight streamed in through the cracks around the blinds, they’d already managed to turn the lights off and build themselves something of a blanket bed on the floor. No one had had a particularly restful night- Nico and Jason waking up to pee all the time, Percy waking up to vomit.

Percy’s head was killing him.

He was still sticky all over from the sex.

“That officially marks the most tequila I’ve ever drank.”

“Seriously, bro.”

Nico just groaned, apparently in too much pain to even speak.

Percy kept thinking out loud.

“Maybe next time, we skip the alcohol. I’d like to actually have an orgasm that lasts more than a second before the whole scene changes and everything hurts.”


Percy was pressing a damp towel to his head. He wasn’t sure why he’d had that idea but it seemed to be helping him feel cooler and less irritated by everything. What he really needed, though, was an ice pack. Two ice packs. One for his knee and one for his jaw.

“Like, you know, when things move too fast when you’re drunk and you miss whole seconds? I basically missed most of my own fucking orgasm. It was the dumbest fucking thing.”

“No, like, next time?”

Percy looked to Jason, who pushed himself up to his elbow. He looked at Nico, who, despite looking like he wanted to just fucking die, also seemed very interested in what Percy had to say.

“Are you guys saying you’re all about the hit it and quit it? Last I checked, we do still all live in the same town, go to the same university, and train the same demigods. Might be difficult to avoid me.”

Nico finally managed to rasp out a sentence.

“No, just- not sure how you’d feel about cock in the morning.”

“What, you thought I’d wake up after spending a whole hour last night enthusiastically drooling all over Jason’s dick and be like ‘Ewwww! Penis! Get it awayyyy!’ ?”

His mocking voice was so shrill it hurt as it rang around his head. Apparently, his friends felt the same way and they groaned, lying back down and almost sobbing into the blankets.

Jason swatted at his ass.

“Fine, whatever, we’ll fuck you again, just don’t make any more high pitched noises.”

Percy blinked, unsure that they’d be the ones doing him the favor if they banged  again, but he settled down, too in pain to argue.

They’d all be doing each other a favor.