Before John, Sherlock had detested rainy days. They made crime scenes harder to process, they made people grumpy, and when there wasn’t a case to solve they made him stir-crazy. He would hear the rain drip on the windowsill and he would sulk like a two-year-old denied his favorite toy.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
After John he grew to enjoy them more. Yes, there were still moments went he felt he would go mad if he didn’t get out, but it wasn’t him in the flat alone, bored to tears. John would make them both a cup of tea, settle down into his chair with a mug in his hand, and do something to occupy himself while quiet serenity permeated the area around him. Even Sherlock wasn’t immune to the peace that enveloped the flat when it rained.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Now it was just him, in a dingy hotel room, the rain keeping him trapped there. He was so close to being able to go home, to see John again, to put these years of travel and fighting and doing his utmost best just to survive behind him. Soon, he could go back to his old life, as best he was able. And soon, rainy days wouldn’t fill him with grief. He would be back where he belonged.
The Perfect Drug
Once Upon A Time
The temptation to do magic now, now that it had come back to Storybrooke, was overwhelming. She was a true junkie, looking at magic as a shot of dope or an alcoholic drink. Both intoxicated the person who used them, and magic held the same intoxication for her, only stronger, more powerful. When she used magic she felt powerful and in control, felt like she could do just about anything. She hated feeling powerless, feeling weak, and she didn’t want to give that up.
The book was temptation, a constant reminder of all she could do now, now that the purple cloud had covered the town and she had gotten the book back from Rumpilstilskin. She saw it every time she was in the room, as if her eyes were drawn to it and it was singing a siren’s song to her heart, a lure to break her promise to Henry. The temptation was strong, but at least for the moment her love for Henry was stronger. She just hoped and fervently prayed that it would remain enough, because to give into temptation this time…well, there was so much more to lose now.
She's family. At the end of the day, even though he knows River is Mels and Melody and River all rolled into one, she's family. Is he angry he didn't get to raise her? Of course. Is he still accepting that his daughter was one of his best friends growing up? Yes. Would he rather have a normal family? Sometimes. But he's proud of his daughter just the same, and he loves her very much, and he knows deep down that while his family may be strange, it is far far better than not having one at all.
Round And Round
Then there was the trip back to the 1940s, and the return to the changed future, and all of a sudden she felt lost. Kevin was normal, and she wasn’t used to a normal teenager. There were no real changes with Jenna, none that she could see at least. And then there was the situation with Carter, and the pull between Carter and Grant, and her head felt so full of conflicting thoughts and feelings that she wondered if it would ever get straight again.
But slowly, the lost feeling went away, and she began to embrace this new life she had, with all its ups and downs. She had just gotten settled into things when she got caught on the ship, and then it was back again in a flash, and she wondered once again how long it would take to find some semblance of normal. But she held out hope this time, and that was enough to get her through the rough patches.
Haley had shown his fears could come true. The Reaper had gone after her and Jack, and while he’d succeeded in taking Haley from this world Jack had been smart enough to hide, to “solve the case” for his Daddy. Haley had paid the ultimate price and with her death his fears were doubled. If anything happened to Jack her sacrifice would be in vain, and he knew deep down that his biggest fear was losing his son. He did not want to be one of the many parents he had to deliver news to, that their child had been taken before their time. No parent should have to bury their child.
The only way to overcome a fear was to face it head on. He knew that, he did. But how do you face a fear so fundamentally a part of your life? When Will was taken by the bank hostages and JJ had to rescue her son from one of their clutches he knew full well that it could have been Jack. But he did what he had taught himself to do when that fear came up: squash it down and compartmentalize it in the back of his mind. It was the only way he’d be able to do the job he needed to do.
Some areas it was harder to avoid. She had made friends in those places, mostly after him, but before his betrayal. Those friendships had died a slow withering death in the time he had been gone. Even now that she knew the truth, she was not sure she could go back there. Some things were better left dead and gone, even if they weren't completely buried, but in a dark corner of her soul she held hope that maybe one day she might go back and set right what went wrong.
And then there was his memorial. He had left nothing for her, given her nothing to carry on. So when she first came back to Soul Society, she had a marker made, with the kanji for his name, and left it in the part of the Rukongai where he had found her, offered her the dried persimmons that had saved her life. She went there once, to place the stone there, and had never been back.
Some places, it would just be devastating to return to.
Learning A New Role
Slowly, he starting thinking about her needs, beyond the physical ones. When she was struggling, he offered her advice, couched in a tone of encouragement, or so he hoped. When she appeared sad, he offered her time to talk through it, if that was what she desired. When she accomplished something, he offered praise, and even tried to give her a smile, though not always succeeding.
He started to think of her as someone more than he thought of himself. He found himself feeling things he hadn’t felt since her sister had been in his life, though not in a romantic sense. He felt sadness at her melancholy, pride in her joy, anger at her pain. He was living again, no longer the stoic man all knew him to be. But this was kept a secret between them, and as a brotherly love soon prevailed, he found a sudden change in perspective, one that made him feel he could take on the world. And he would, too, if that was what his dearest sister wanted. For her, he’d be a true hero.