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Track 1:  I'm a fool, such a fool for you...

 

"I'm on my way out, I promise-" Ellen says quickly into the phone before stopping short at the unusual reply she receives.

"Do you want to go to the zoo and see the zebras?" Is what she gets instead.

Ellen frowns and looks at her phone for the first time since picking it up in her rush to get out the door. Patty Hewes. "Hello?"

"I want to go to the zoo with you and also to my house and I will make you tea but you have to wear a hat."

It takes a her moment, in which Ellen has to laugh a little at the innocent little voice on the other end. "Catherine?"

"No. Strawberry."

"Oh, Strawberry-" Ellen says, sitting at the edge of her bed and quickly forgetting that she's already late, "-hi, Strawberry."

"We can't have real tea, we have to pretend because grandma says I'll I make a mess."

Ellen's heart swells. She tells herself it's Catherine, and not the incentive of Patty that makes her feel this way. It's only been a few months since they last spoke after all. "Can we have biscuits?" Ellen inquires softly.

"Um...okay. But We can go to the zoo too and see the tigers."

"I thought you wanted to see the zebras."

Catherine giggles. "No! The tigers!"

"Oh my mistake. Okay, what else?"

"Are you Ellen?" Catherine asks suddenly.

Ellen laughs again. "Yes."

"You don't come over anymore."

It sounds like more of a demand than anything else and Ellen wonders if the little girl has inherited her grandmother's 'I-own-you' streak. Still, there's the overbearing sensation of remorse that she cannot shake because she knows what sudden loss of a constant presence can do to a child. Breathing in deeply, Ellen says regretfully. "I know, I'm sorry, Catherine."

"Come over today. We can go to the zoo."

Ellen's stomach turns at the thought of seeing Patty again after the fight by the water. "Does your grandmother know you're playing with her phone?"

Catherine pauses for a long while before saying simply. "Yes."

Ellen holds back a chuckle and attempts a warning, "Catherine..."

"Catherine!" Comes a distant voice on the other and Ellen instantly distinguishes it as Patty's. "Catherine, no more playing with my phone, come on, it's bed time."

Catherine laughs and drops the blackberry with a loud enough thump before running off up the stairs. Patty sighs and bends over to pick up both her phone and Strawberry, Catherine's latest favorite. It's funny that she keeps changing stuffed animal companions, but the same name remains. Noticing the telling signs of a current phone call, she presses the phone to her ear, just to make sure Catherine hasn't contacted anyone who make too big a deal out of the incident. Dreading the apology she might have to spew, she says, "Whoever this is, I'm sorry-"

Ellen holds her breath and she means to simply let Patty apologize and then hang up, but her racing heart and turning stomach won't let her. "Patty?" She says.

"Ellen?" Patty counters, the unexpected surprise forces her to sit at the edge of the coffee table, but she makes a quick recovery, "Sorry about that, Catherine has this new toy and it so happens to be my cell phone."

"You still have my number?" Ellen asks, her voice almost as small as Catherine's earlier.

""No." Patty lies firmly. "She must have--pushed some buttons and picked up an old phone call from the phone log."

"Oh." Ellen knows Patty is lying.

"Anyway, sorry about the inconvenience-"

"That's okay." Ellen says quickly, hoping to save just a bit of a conversation with Patty. "She invited me to the zoo."

Patty laughs.

"And she demanded reason of my absence."

Patty clears her throat, a sign of uneasiness, and rolls her shoulders back before sighing. "Sorry about that. I'll uh-delete your number as soon as I hang up."

"But I thought you already had." Ellen smiles as she says this. She isn't sure where the playful jabs are coming from, but she can't will herself to hang up the phone.

Patty's brow furrows in confusion and she asks after a moment. "What do you want, Ellen?"

For once, Patty is the one demanding an explanation, for once she is the one being summoned, although not intentionally.

Ellen looks down at her lap and fidgets with the hem of her dress. "The same thing you wanted when you sent me that Chanel purse, I suppose."

Patty pauses and takes in Ellen's words. It's no surprise. They dance around their mutual attraction and ignore the big pink elephant in the room, sidestepping around it like crazy, even when there's no room to breathe. But it is a little difficult to believe her, when Patty's laid so much out for Ellen to take and has given next to nothing in return. Patty isn't sure she can do that much longer. She intends to make Ellen understand this. "Ellen, you said--a lot. Enough, I would say."

"I know." Ellen says with a pathetically small nod. She's almost disgusted with her sudden vulnerability and her allowance of becoming someone who begs. Someone who begs Patty Hewes. She'd like to say that this isn't her anymore, but maybe she's always been this person. This Ellen parsons. The Ellen Parsons who can't get out of Patty's shadow out of pure free will. "I know what I said. I won't pretend otherwise. But I can't apologize for something I felt was right at the time."

"What are you trying to say, exactly?"

"I want to see you." Ellen says with a small shrug. "That's what I'm trying to say. And Catherine wants to see me. How can you say no to that?"

Patty doesn't say a word.

Ellen looks up from her lap and sighs. "Patty, come on."

After weighing her options in no more than five seconds--five seconds in which Patty hopes Ellen is writhing with agonizing anticipation--Patty simply asks. "Would you like to go to the zoo with Catherine and myself tomorrow morning?"

Ellen smiles and quickly replies, "Yes."

"What were you doing before Catherine called you?" Patty quickly asks, earnestly interested to know what her granddaughter so astutely interrupted.

"I uh--I was on my way out to a friend's party."

"Oh, well, I should let you go enjoy that then."

"I can stay and talk for a bit."

Patty is tempted to approve. She smiles softly at the suggestion, but there is still a little suffering to be had on Ellen's part, so she takes a deep breath and states as calmly as she's ever uttered a sentence. "No-no. Go to your party, Ellen."

Ellen is left with the phone to her ear long after the line is dead. Much to her dismay, she's smiling.

 


Track 2 : Right Now, Right now at this very moment, I still love her like I loved her then

 

 

Denise Parsons is a sweet woman. Sweet when she is sober. Not when she's holding onto 'sober' with both hands while tipping over the side towards 'heavily drunk'.

They've gotten through half of dinner and about three bottles of wine. Catherine has long since gone to bed and the three women have been left to their own devices. Without Catherine's constant 'awe' inspiring shenanigans, three grown women are left with not very much to say or do, except stare at each other while Miles Davis plays softly in the background.

The air is thick. And it's not that the room is stuffy or anything, it's just that Ellen's mother was not prepared for the level of discomfort seeing her daughter's new life would present.

It all happened too quickly. Ellen seemed to have dropped off the planet for six months, and one day, out of the blue, there was a phone call. Ellen was happy. She was with someone. it was complicated. But it was great and she was happy.

Mrs. Parsons was not expecting to hear that Ellen had moved in with Patty Hewes, her former boss. "Why are you living with your ex-boss?" She had asked. A long silence followed, proceeded only by an hour long conversation consisting of Mrs. Parsons explaining to Ellen all the ways her relationship with Patty was wrong, and Ellen yelling her reasons as to why it was perfect for her.

Mrs. Parsons caved. And while her husband is yet to say a direct word to Ellen on the subject, Mrs. Parsons is doing the polite thing by showing up to dinner. Except, now she's drunk and looking at Patty once in a while like she wants to reach over and strangle her with both hands.

Ellen senses it very quickly and she expertly clears her throat, piping up with a sunny little smile that is fooling no one, "So, mom, Patty made crème brulee. Your favorite."

Patty looks over at Ellen as if she's just confessed to a murder. Patty did not touch the dessert waiting in the kitchen. In fact, all Patty contributed to the night was the wine, music and a hell of a lot of patience.

Ellen's smile falters a little and there is a  brief glance towards Patty that says 'shut up and go with it'. Patty sighs into her glass and Ellen reaches over to cover the blonde's empty hand with her own. "She uh-" Ellen begins again, removing her hand from Patty's once her mother gives the affectionate action a questionable stare. "-she made it, because I told her you have a sweet tooth, isn't that thoughtful?"

"I'm off sugar." Mrs. Parsons says shortly.

"Since when?" Ellen asks, her temper quickly showing.

"You know--" Patty interrupts before she gets caught in the middle of a Parsons showdown. She reaches for Ellen's hand again and grips it firmly as she plants big smile on her face, even bigger than Ellen's--and leans forward in her seat, "--I'm supposed to be off sugar too, but it doesn't hurt to indulge once in a while, don't you think?"

"Yes," Mrs. Parsons retorts, lifting her own glass to take a sip of wine, "But women our age need to be a little more careful than younger girls like my Ellen here-"

"Well, Ellen has enough energy for the both of us, she keeps me young," Patty says without missing a beat. Then adds in tone that is lower than necessary as she looks over at Ellen, "She has so much energy, sometimes I think I can't possibly keep up." Ellen's eyes widen and Patty turns back to Mrs. Parsons, "She's like the energizer bunny, your Ellen." A cackle follows.

"Okay, that's enough-"

"Mom, would you like some dessert or not?" Ellen says suddenly.

Mrs. Parsons seems surprised at the harsh tone, but Patty is more than used to Ellen's more assertive, more rebellious attitude and so she simply sits and listens.

"This isn't going to go away, and you can be angry if you want, but it is what it is, so-" Ellen pauses with a shrug, "-you can sit with Patty and me and have some dessert. Or you can go home to dad. I reached out to you because this is something I want to share with you. This is what I want and I will understand if you can't...but I hope that you stay."

Mrs. Parsons takes one hard look at Patty, glances at the couple's joined hands, and then up at her daughter. She doesn't seem particularly excited, but she nods at her glass and says, "I'm going to need more wine."

Patty nods and swiftly gets her feet, "You and me both."

It isn't perfect, but Ellen will take it.

 


Track 3:  That wet, that fire, that powerful stuff...

 

 

"Ellen-" Patty sighs for the umpteenth time. It's not that she's a prude. Not in the least. But it's just that...spending over and hour and a half browsing through a web site consisting of nothing but sex toys and gadgets can make a woman a little...aware. Ellen's completely distracted by the images. Her bottom lip is trapped between her teeth and her eyes are practically gleaming. Patty sits up on the bed and removes her glasses. "Just choose something."

Ellen finally blinks and looks over her shoulder at Patty from where she rests on her stomach, hands idly over the keyboard of her laptop. '"What do you like?" She asks.

"I don't know," Patty replies, piling up three pillows behind her to sit against the headboard, denim clad legs crossed at the ankles. Her eyes narrow as she reclines her head and stares out at Ellen, currently on the other end of the mattress.

Ellen smiles and reaches to graze the heel of one of Patty's feet with the nail of her index finger, causing the blonde to jerk away briefly. "Come on, Patty. What are you in the mood for?"

"You know, we have a healthy amount of...assistance in that department, so what exactly got you so excited about shopping for toys today?" Patty asks, suddenly very curious about her lover's spontaneous decision to get "something new".

"You really want to know?"

"Yes, I do."

"Okay, well..." Ellen pauses, meets Patty's gaze and smiles a little wider, "There are these little bullets."

"Absolutely not." Patty instantly interrupts.

"What? Why not!"

"Because, Ellen, I know what you're thinking and there is no way I'm going to go through my work day with you--controlling that thing whenever you feel like it."

"But--" Ellen begins, closing her computer and gently placing it on the floor before sitting up as she talks, "--you don't even know how it works. Let me explain it to you." She nudges Patty's legs apart and she settles between them, on her knees as she reaches for the waist of Patty's jeans. She looks up expectantly at Patty who is still staring through half hooded eyes.

"Okay." Patty manages to retort through already bated breath.

"So, there's this little bullet-" Ellen begins again, unfastening a single button, then slowly drawing down the zipper while Patty licks her lips and watches in silence, "-and there's this little remote control." Ellen looks up then, "The remote is for me-"

"Oh?" Patty inquires with a raise of her eyebrow.

Ellen nods her head yes and pulls at Patty's hips with both hands, offering a little 'up' while she urges the blonde's hips to move in order to pull the denim downward.

Soon after Patty gave into a drunken make session with Ellen after their sixth trip to the zoo, Phil gave Patty some advice. It quickly became routine, their trips. Mornings at the zoo, then lunch, and then either Patty or Ellen would carry an exhausted Catherine to bed. Drinks would follow, and then inappropriate, unplanned kissing that gradually progressed into groping. One morning, Patty found a hickey. Phil caught it and called her on it. She tried to play it off as it if was nothing. Phil told her Ellen would keep her young and to stop analyzing everything. He said Patty seemed to glow. Patty smiled and told him to shut up. She hasn't looked back since.

And she's glad. because she can't remember the last time a lover has made her eyes roll to the back of her head so quickly into fooling around. As she does so now, she sinks lower against the pillows and reaches above her head to grip the headboard while Ellen licks and nibbles at Patty's neck and thrusts her index finger deeper inside Patty.

"So it goes in here--" Ellen mumbles, panting a little as she lifts her head from the crook of Patty's neck and stares down when the blonde's lips part in heavier breaths and a sigh or two escape her. Stilling the single digit within Patty's slick folds, she continues, "-do you feel that?" She kisses Patty's chin, "Patty, do you feel that?"

With great difficulty, Patty releases something that vaguely sounds like "Mmhmm" and nods her head.

"And it stays here, not doing anything-" Ellen continues, "-unless I want it to." Her hand begins to move and Patty sighs again. She adds her index finger and pumps her hand slowly, firmly in and out. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Patty chuckles a low throaty chuckle and looks up at the young brunette. "Fine, let's get the stupid thing," She pants, "But finish this first."

Ellen smiles and kisses Patty once before bracing herself on the mattress with her free hand and instructing sternly, "Spread your legs for me."

Patty does. She groans and whimpers as Ellen adds a third finger fucks herder, using the leverage of her hips to drive her hand harder into her.

The first time this happened, Ellen didn't think it could get any better. it happened in her apartment. They weren't drunk, like their previous encounters that had to be cut off once clothes began to ride up. It was sweaty and intense and they were left unable to form a single sentence when it was done. Ellen's been pleasantly surprised to learn that it got all different kinds of better. She finds that she loves everything about all the different ways. She loves the selfish, eager Patty that orders Ellen to fuck her harder. She loves the desperate, greedy Patty who will pull at Ellen's skirt and eat her out right then and there against the door until Ellen's screaming Patty's name and her legs become jelly. But she also loves this Patty. The Patty that allows Ellen to do to her what she wants. This is the calm and relaxed, in no hurry Patty.

She's warm and writhing underneath Ellen and this alone makes Ellen's body hum with arousal. The throbbing between her legs is almost painful but she can't stop now. Not when Patty's moaning and arching like this, and so wet, Ellen can hear it as she fucks her faster, grinding down against Patty's clit with the heel of her hand. Patty's hips gyrate against every thrust, pulling Ellen by the hair until their lips meet in a frenzied kiss. Patty comes soon into the kiss, moaning against Ellen's mouth, pulling away from only to plead, "Stop-"

Ellen continues to kiss the blonde, slowly this time as she removes her hand from between Patty's legs and then braces her weight with both hands as her hips drive forward involuntarily, her body still needing release.

"Let me-" Patty tries in between kisses, bracing Ellen's hips in an attempt to still her long enough to move her, "-Ellen-"

Something like a growl escapes Ellen and in one swift movement, she's pushed the crotch of her underwear aside and straddled Patty's thigh. She begins to grind down against the silky, white thigh and presses her forehead against Patty's, her breath coming out in puffs as she rides the blonde's thigh with a purpose.

"Fuck--" Patty groans, with nothing to do except feel. Feel everything from the rhythm of Ellen's hips in her hands, to her wet cunt sliding against her thigh and her breath hot against her face.

Ellen's brow furrows and her knuckles turn white as she squeezes the bedding in fistfuls as her hips jerk forward and she gasps when her orgasm hits so sharply, she feels as though she might collapse.

"We're going to have to do that again, I hope you realize, you selfish brat," Patty says with a rasp in her voice.

Ellen laughs. "Gladly."

 


Track 4:  Can't nobody tell me nothing is what it is...

 

 

"Look at what I got today," Ellen says, waiting for Catherine to have ran completely out of sight before pulling out a box of chocolates from her purse and placing it on the kitchen counter.

Patty looks over her shoulder from where she's washing a last dish and rolls her eyes. "How nice," She says dryly.

"I think it's sweet." Ellen says of her third gift from Perry this week.

"It's inappropriate," Patty grumbles.

Ellen has been enjoying Patty's reaction to Perry's unexpected affection. "He's harmless."

"He's a dead man."

"Ms. Hewes--" Ellen says, pretending to be surprised, "--is that jealousy I detect?"

Patty glares briefly as she wipes down the already clean counter. "You are demented."

"Don't be jealous."

"I'm going to have him fired." Patty retorts as she passes by Ellen, only to be pulled back by the hand, straight into the younger woman's arms.

"I find this jealousy thing kind of hot--" Ellen says, kissing Patty's unresponsive lips once, then again. "--why so tense, Patty?"

"This isn't funny," Patty snaps, ready to go off on a rant before she is completely silenced by Ellen's kiss. Within seconds, she's forgotten what she was angry about in the first place.

This whole Ellen thing is quickly becoming dangerous and making Patty lose focus. The strangest part of it, is that neither seems to mind losing a little perspective.