#01 - Comfort
He refuses to change his long-johns for two weeks when he first tries them on.
#02 - Kiss
He thinks about the way her lips tasted often.
#03 - Soft
Goatman has a gift for the gentle embrace, Fairbanks thinks when the news breaks.
#04 - Pain
He downs bottle after poisonous bottle of cooking sherry in an effort to close up the fresh wounds of her engagement.
#05 - Potatoes
Fairbanks gingerly pulls one out of the cold ground of his uncle's farm, and mentally names it Billy before taking a raw bite.
#06 - Rain
"It's kinda surreal," he observes; "The rain washing out the snow."
#07 - Chocolate
He decides to be adventurous and pump chocolate syrup into his black coffee.
#08 - Happiness
He and Alice, laughing crazily, dance around a burning effigy in Becca's likeness.
#09 - Telephone
He almost calls the husband, but stops himself at the last minute.
#10 - Ears
His ears turn visibly red when he realizes that the lottery-ticket girl has been flirting with him.
#11 - Name
"I almost forgot you have a real name."
#12 - Sex
He thinks about her body in his most private moments alone.
#13 - Death
"I hope she dies in a bus accident," he mutters to his cigarette, even though he knows he doesn't mean it.
#15 - Touch
He flinches at the hand on his shoulder.
#16 - Weakness
"I know you wanted to marry her, man, but screw Becca." Alice says bluntly. "You need to man up, and I'm gonna help you do it."
#17 - Tears
He doesn't let her see him cry when she buys him a lottery ticket, too.
#18 - Speed
Austin guns it through the forest.
#19 - Wind
The ashes of Becca's effigy float gracefully away, away, away...
#20 - Freedom
He and Alice give a shriek into the void just as Becca erupts into flame.
#21 - Life
"Tell me your story, from start to finish," the lottery girl says, loitering during the empty graveyard shift.
#22 - Jealousy
"You burned a Becca effigy without me?" Goatman asks in disappointment.
#23 - Hands
His hands feel empty sometimes, and he stares at his open palms in bewilderment.
#24 - Taste
Becca's mouth tasted like cigarettes, but hers tastes like cherry soda, and it is decisively better.
#25 - Devotion
"Christ desires your love and devotion," says the group-therapist.
#26 - Forever
"I wanna spend the rest of my life with her, Goatman, and when we die I wanna be buried next to her so that we're not apart."
#27 - Blood
Austin's glass cut is grotesque, but no one has money for hospital bills, so they spend the night trying to get the bloodstains out of Fairbanks' carpet.
#28 - Sickness
"Holy God," says his boss when he puts his hand up to Fairbanks' forehead. "You need to go home."
#29 - Melody
He hums along to the music playing softly on the radio.
#30 - Star
"Look at that one," Goatman slurs to Austin and Fairbanks, "Is that a star or a planet?"
#31 - Home
He sighs in exhaustion when he finally gets home.
#32 - Confusion
"Where are you taking me, Alice?" He wonders aloud, chuckling at the forest trees.
#33 - Fear
Fairbanks runs to turn on the lights when he hears a creak in the next room.
#34 - Lightning/Thunder
His living room is illuminated by lightning at the same moment it is on the TV.
#35 - Bonds
He dreams of being handcuffed, led away in shame from Becca's burning home, and wakes up tangled in his sheets.
#36 - Market
He and Austin sometimes go to the local farmer's market just to feel like adults.
#37 - Technology
Thank God for the iPhone, writes Goatman.
#38 - Gift
On his birthday, everyone in town is wearing a 'Fairbanks Appreciation Society' pin, and he immediately knows who's behind it.
#39 - Smile
Watching his young cousins whooping and shouting on the rope swing that he helped build, Fairbanks' smile is genuine.
#40 - Innocence
"Where do babies come from?" Asks a small boy over the counter, and suddenly Fairbanks wishes he were anywhere else.
#41 - Completion
He lets out a small whoop of triumph when he finally finishes his birthday puzzle.
#42 - Clouds
One night, an oncoming storm looks vaguely like Becca, and he thinks it is fitting.
#43 - Sky
The sky burns orange at sunset.
#44 - Heaven
Riding the mail plane (a gift from Alice for his birthday), he feels closer to heaven than he has ever felt before.
#45 - Hell
"Hell, hell, hell!" Stresses a pastor in the park.
#46 - Sun
He is blinded on his way to work.
#47 - Moon
The silver moonlight illuminates everything beautifully.
#48 - Waves
Water laps up on the sides of his uncle's canoe.
#49 - Hair
He stretches, and immediately she begins gawking at a tuft of hair peeking out from his pants.
#50 - Supernova
He loses control of his cooking-sherry anger just as the star above him grows brighter and brighter, eventually fizzling out into darkness.