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Fairbanks Appreciation Society

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#01 - Comfort

He refuses to change his long-johns for two weeks when he first tries them on.

#02 - Kiss

He thinks about the way her lips tasted often.

#03 - Soft

Goatman has a gift for the gentle embrace, Fairbanks thinks when the news breaks.

#04 - Pain

He downs bottle after poisonous bottle of cooking sherry in an effort to close up the fresh wounds of her engagement.

#05 - Potatoes

Fairbanks gingerly pulls one out of the cold ground of his uncle's farm, and mentally names it Billy before taking a raw bite.

#06 - Rain

"It's kinda surreal," he observes; "The rain washing out the snow."

#07 - Chocolate

He decides to be adventurous and pump chocolate syrup into his black coffee.

#08 - Happiness

He and Alice, laughing crazily, dance around a burning effigy in Becca's likeness.

#09 - Telephone

He almost calls the husband, but stops himself at the last minute.

#10 - Ears

His ears turn visibly red when he realizes that the lottery-ticket girl has been flirting with him.

#11 - Name

"I almost forgot you have a real name."

#12 - Sex

He thinks about her body in his most private moments alone.

#13 - Death

"I hope she dies in a bus accident," he mutters to his cigarette, even though he knows he doesn't mean it.

#15 - Touch

He flinches at the hand on his shoulder.

#16 - Weakness

"I know you wanted to marry her, man, but screw Becca." Alice says bluntly. "You need to man up, and I'm gonna help you do it."

#17 - Tears

He doesn't let her see him cry when she buys him a lottery ticket, too.

#18 - Speed

Austin guns it through the forest.

#19 - Wind

The ashes of Becca's effigy float gracefully away, away, away...

#20 - Freedom

He and Alice give a shriek into the void just as Becca erupts into flame.

#21 - Life

"Tell me your story, from start to finish," the lottery girl says, loitering during the empty graveyard shift.

#22 - Jealousy

"You burned a Becca effigy without me?" Goatman asks in disappointment.

#23 - Hands

His hands feel empty sometimes, and he stares at his open palms in bewilderment.

#24 - Taste

Becca's mouth tasted like cigarettes, but hers tastes like cherry soda, and it is decisively better.

#25 - Devotion

"Christ desires your love and devotion," says the group-therapist.

#26 - Forever

"I wanna spend the rest of my life with her, Goatman, and when we die I wanna be buried next to her so that we're not apart."

#27 - Blood

Austin's glass cut is grotesque, but no one has money for hospital bills, so they spend the night trying to get the bloodstains out of Fairbanks' carpet.

#28 - Sickness

"Holy God," says his boss when he puts his hand up to Fairbanks' forehead. "You need to go home."

#29 - Melody

He hums along to the music playing softly on the radio.

#30 - Star

"Look at that one," Goatman slurs to Austin and Fairbanks, "Is that a star or a planet?"

#31 - Home

He sighs in exhaustion when he finally gets home.

#32 - Confusion

"Where are you taking me, Alice?" He wonders aloud, chuckling at the forest trees.

#33 - Fear

Fairbanks runs to turn on the lights when he hears a creak in the next room.

#34 - Lightning/Thunder

His living room is illuminated by lightning at the same moment it is on the TV.

#35 - Bonds

He dreams of being handcuffed, led away in shame from Becca's burning home, and wakes up tangled in his sheets.

#36 - Market

He and Austin sometimes go to the local farmer's market just to feel like adults.

#37 - Technology

Thank God for the iPhone, writes Goatman.

#38 - Gift

On his birthday, everyone in town is wearing a 'Fairbanks Appreciation Society' pin, and he immediately knows who's behind it.

#39 - Smile

Watching his young cousins whooping and shouting on the rope swing that he helped build, Fairbanks' smile is genuine.

#40 - Innocence

"Where do babies come from?" Asks a small boy over the counter, and suddenly Fairbanks wishes he were anywhere else.

#41 - Completion

He lets out a small whoop of triumph when he finally finishes his birthday puzzle.

#42 - Clouds

One night, an oncoming storm looks vaguely like Becca, and he thinks it is fitting.

#43 - Sky

The sky burns orange at sunset.

#44 - Heaven

Riding the mail plane (a gift from Alice for his birthday), he feels closer to heaven than he has ever felt before.

#45 - Hell

"Hell, hell, hell!" Stresses a pastor in the park.

#46 - Sun

He is blinded on his way to work.

#47 - Moon

The silver moonlight illuminates everything beautifully.

#48 - Waves

Water laps up on the sides of his uncle's canoe.

#49 - Hair

He stretches, and immediately she begins gawking at a tuft of hair peeking out from his pants.

#50 - Supernova

He loses control of his cooking-sherry anger just as the star above him grows brighter and brighter, eventually fizzling out into darkness.