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thunder is good, thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does all the work

Chapter Text

The detention deck on the Helicarrier wasn’t full.  It was teeming with agents and crew, all pressed in against each other, and all looking intently at the occupant of the glass cage.

The occupant, in turn, sank back against the bench and gave his watchers a lazy yet predatory smirk.

“No, we can’t push the button.”

“Are you kidding?  Fury would kill us.”

“I think he’d give us medals.”

“Yeah.  Posthumously.”

Loki ran his palms across his thighs, his grin a broad glint of teeth.  “I’ve no fear of loud, overbearing one-eyed men.  I’ve certainly no trepidation over any of their minions.”

Gattaca-guy let his hand rest dangerously close to the release.  “I say we push it now, ask questions later.  For Phil.”

A low murmur surged through the crowd, and the triumphant gleam in so many eyes sharpened, the crew watching their prisoner with a hunger not to gloat but to rend, to rip apart, to make him feel a fraction of the hurt so many still carried.

“Yeah!  That bastard killed Phil!”

No one ever said revenge had a perfect memory.  Or maybe it was S.H.I.E.L.D.’s memos, which were often more cryptic than effective.

“Guys?” At the edges of the crowd, Phil pressed a hand to his temple.  “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, but I’m still alive.”

“For Phil!”

“Seriously, I’m right here.”

An ear-splitting whistle pierced the air, echoing against the bulkheads.  Maria Hill, flanked by the Avengers, entered the room, hands firmly on her hips.

“I know we all wish we could beat the crap out of this guy, but that’s a decision above your pay grade,” she said, even as a few crew were still clearly plotting their prisoner’s demise.  “Besides, he’s Thor’s brother, and...”

Eyelashes fluttered as Hill craned her head to look back at Loki, her fingers straying to brush against her throat.  Loki’s grin faded, his hands still gripping his knees.

“The whole adopted thing aside, how much is your brother like you?”  Tony smirked as his gaze raked over Loki through the glass.  “And in like you, I mean in the metaphorical hammer way.  And by metaphorical hammer, I mean sex.”

“I would not know directly.”  Thor, for a change, had failed to go into a Loki-induced berseker mode.  “He had his share of admirers at court.  But I should think my duties should answer which one of us was superior in such matters.”

Loki’s laughter cut through the glass.  He pushed himself to his feet, stalking towards his brother.  “Really?  Ask Sif, dear brother, which one of us was superior.  Compared to me, you are all sound and very little fury.”

“You cut her hair!”  Thor’s Sif-berserker button, however, had a hair trigger.  “Sif cannot abide your presence!”

“She can abide it long enough.”  Loki winked as he splayed his fingers across the curve of the glass.  “And may I emphasize that is a very long time.  But she does not let a little hatred get in the way of a great deal of pleasure.”

“I’m sold.”  Bruce rubbed at his chin as he looked Loki up and down.  “Nothing wrong with perfectly good hate sex.”

“You are not proposing what I think you are proposing.”  Thor’s brow furrowed as he looked between his brother and the increasingly lecherous faces of the Helicarrier crew, as well as his friends.

“He might be an unhinged megalomaniac, but face it, you two are ridiculously hot demi-gods.”  Tony raised an eyebrow.  “Who knows, maybe some extended, naked human contact would do him some good.”

“Oh no, Stark.  I don’t think so.”  Natasha pressed hands firmly upon her hips.

“Seriously, can you let your hair down for one night, or two, or however many evenings of unbridled craziness and passion this takes?”

“I didn’t say it was a bad idea.  But I think Clint and I should get the first go.”

The archer coughed.  “Excuse me, how did I get dragged into a three-way with the guy who brainwashed me?”

“Don’t worry,” Natasha said, laying an eager hand on Clint’s shoulder.  The corners of her lips quirked as she sized up the rather intrigued brainwasher.  “We’ll be sure to use plenty of restraints.  And that lovely little gag.”

“Well, well.  What a web the spider weaves-”

“Fine, fine, fine.  The three of you can play Mistress of Pain first.”  Tony shook his head, as if trying to shake the image away.  ‘But I’m third, well, because I said so and because I don’t really do the whole patience thing that well when it comes to hot aliens.”

“You would be the fourth.”  Loki looked over to the Captain, who looked obliviously back.

“Uh, no.  You did not get to him first.  Again.”  Tony looked at Steve, who was shaking his head.

“I did not sleep with you.”  Steve didn’t sounded more confused than horrified.  “I think I would have remembered that.”

“Do you remember me now?”  There was a flash of green light, and where Loki once was there was a stunningly beautiful, green-eyed, raven-haired woman with ivory skin and ruby red lips.  Her hair was curled off her face, and a dark green suit dress hugged her slender curves.

Steve’s jaw dropped, and it was a moment before he could manage to speak again.  “Okay, I did sleep with her.  It was during the war, and we were in France, and...she was kind of amazing.”  He paused.  “And really Thor’s brother, evidently.”

Lady Loki winked at Steve’s compliment before she shifted back into an entirely smug Loki.  Tony tugged at Maria Hill’s uniform sleeve.  

“Do guy Loki and girl Loki count as two separate people?  Because they really should, and we should get to know them both.”

Loki chuckled deep in his throat.  “You are nothing if not shameless, Stark.”

“You know, I’m really not,” Tony said.  “I’m told it’s one of my better qualities.”

The crew, after Loki’s little display, was looking at Maria with pitiful glances, and she held her hands above an increasingly restless crowd.  “People!  Right now, none of us are thinking with our brains up here.  Yes, he’s Thor’s brother.  Yes, he can change into a very attractive woman.  But he’s our prisoner, and we still have laws and standards to uphold.”

“Oh, you would not be taking advantage, Lieutenant, if I were more than willing to show you and your crew a far better time than that my brother evidently provided to his friends.  And all of the ship, it seemed.”  Loki grinned, spreading his hands wide.

“Really?”  There was something fluttery and breathless in Maria’s voice.  Blushing, she cleared her voice and tried to resume looking commanding.  “I mean, I will take that into due consideration.  Guess I’m not done with my Asgardian sexy-times rotas yet.”

“I believe I may have a skill that might alleviate some of your problems?”  Another flash of light, and now the cell was full of Lokis and Lady Lokis, all smiling alluringly at a room full of flushed and flustered superheroes and mortals alike.

Tony whistled.  “We really need bigger beds on this ship.”