If only his body and mind could stop craving it.
Jared pushed the stack of un-graded tests away, not caring when two fell to the floor. He would pick them up later. Probably. With a glare he looked down on the papers littering the kitchen table, page after page of messy scrawl, barely readable words or I's dotted with little hearts, he didn't know which was worse. At his old school the students had been good, all of them with Ivy League in their future but instead of being there he had been pushed aside to a school where the paint was peeling off the walls, a school where there was more likelihood of McDonalds and janitorial jobs in the student's futures. But then, the kids who he had loved before, whom he had helped raise to perfection, were the ones that had turned on him, the ones that had taken it all away from him.
Warm lips brushed his at the same time as hands roamed over his body, sliding down his back and down to grab his hips in a firm grip. Jared relaxed into the kiss, forgetting all of where he was, of the possibility of people walking by, in favor of tasting his boyfriend's mouth. The park was quiet around them, bathed in the soft glow of the setting sun but in comparison to Ryan's hands the warmth of the sunset faded into nothing.
"Wait...what...if..." Jared tried to speak but his words were swallowed by heated kisses.
A small part of him wanted to pull away, knowing full well that even though the park might be quiet at the moment, it was far from abandoned, but Ryan's lips felt too good and it was too seldom they got to spend some time together outside of their homes and Jared wasn't willing to let it end, not just yet.
"Oh, my god!"
The voice was too loud, too high, cutting through the pleasurable haze sharp enough for Jared and Ryan to pull apart quickly but Jared didn't really need to turn around to know they had been caught.
"Who are..." Ryan started but then Jared saw his eyes go wide and Jared knew he had to turn around then, had to see just who had found them out.
Turning he could still feel Ryan's body next to his, the barely-there touch of a hand against the small of his back. The second he saw the group of people standing there, a few of his own students as well as their parents, Jared knew his life would change forever.
Looking down at the papers on the table, Jared scowled and got up, walking out of the room without a second glance back. He didn't want to think about the students, the school where he felt like he spent more time than he ever did in his actual home. But then, his home was not much to be proud of either.
"Fuck this life," he mumbled to himself as he slid out of his clothes.
For a moment he thought about going to bed, but instead he made sure that all of the blinds were shut and the doors locked before he took a few deep breaths and allowed his body to move and change until he was much closer to the ground and his body was covered with fur. He couldn't remember if it had been weeks or even months since the last time he allowed the canine side to take over; it had been even longer since changing had actually helped in any way. A low growl escaped his throat and at least being in his animal form was a good way to vent some of the anger raging boiling hot inside him. Curling up at the foot of the bed he tried for sleep but even though his canine form usually allowed him to easily slide into sleep in an instant, that night sleep eluded him for hours and even when it finally came his mind was full of dark thoughts and darker dreams.
As always the school managed to smell of both dust and detergents at the same time, a scent sharp enough to sting Jared's nose whenever he entered it and he wasn't sure if that was because of the dog side of him or because the smell was just that bad. Outside he could hear the engines of the school buses idle while they let students out and Jared had to grit his teeth together to hold back the snarl threatening to escape. The balance between human and animal tilted more and more for each day that passed and Jared was at a loss as what to do about it. He just knew he had to do something before he lashed out and hurt someone. He might not feel anything but seething hatred for the students under his care, but hurting one of them would mean Jared's life being ripped apart. That wasn't an option, not again.
Taking deep breaths to calm himself down Jared could tell the very second the first students entered the classroom, an avalanche of scents hitting him like a punch and he turned to look at them as they entered. Where he had been used to perfectly cut uniforms he was instead met by torn jeans, threadbare t-shirts and dirty shoes. It wasn't the worst he had ever seen but it was still clear evidence of just how far from his old life he had come.
"Morning, Mr. Padalecki."
The soft voice had Jared looking down into bright green eyes that widened slightly at the scowl Jared couldn't hold back.
"Mr. Ackles," he said through gritted teeth.
It wasn't the first time the kid had approached Jared, nothing but a few soft words but it was enough to make Jared feel on edge. The boy's gaze fell away when Jared kept glaring at him but soon he was looking up from under long eyelashes, sun-bleached hair falling in his eyes and Jared wondered what it was that made the boy so different. When it came to most of his students he was sure that his hatred for them was nothing but returned, but the Ackles kid never stayed gone long no matter how short Jared was with him. The boy seemed almost fascinated by him and Jared had no idea why or what he should do about it. Soft pink lips parted as though the boy wanted to say something but instead he sighed, a soft exhale before he turned and walked to his seat.
When he called the class to order he could feel the weight of green eyes on him even as he turned to the whiteboard and the marker screeched dryly against the flat expanse. Jared didn't know why but there was something about Jensen Ackles that just got under his skin and he didn't like it, not one bit.
When Mr. Padalecki turned around, familiar scowl in place, Jensen tore his eyes away but he was sure that the man had noticed and a heated flush crept up his neck.
"I expect you all to have finished Lord of the Flies next Friday," Mr. Padalecki said firmly, his glare to the class clearly saying he wouldn't accept any excuses. "We will watch the movie then and after that you will all have to write a comparison between the book and the movie. This is not optional."
A few low grumbles were heard but for the most part the students knew better than to anger their teacher. No matter how Mr. Padalecki might feel about his students, he sure knew how to get the results he was after and Jensen wondered what it was about the man that had each one of them scared of him, like there was something there under the surface just waiting to break free. Jensen was quite sure he should feel scared, but that was not the emotion that Jared's presence stirred in him. Instead he could feel his cock harden inside his threadbare jeans, an insistent throbbing that intensified even more when the teacher's gaze suddenly snapped to him, a look on his face that Jensen couldn't place.
"That's it for today," Mr. Padalecki said suddenly, surprising the entire class. "Get out of here."
Jensen was out of his chair before the rest of the class had started moving, his books clutched in front of him to prevent anyone from seeing the bulge in his pants. Somewhere behind him he could hear Chris call out for him but Jensen quickly made his way to the upstairs restrooms, knowing they were most likely to be abandoned, and he ducked into the furthest stall, slamming the door behind him.
"Jesus," he mumbled, fumbling his pants down until he could wrap one hand around his cock.
The arrival of Mr. Padalecki at the school hadn't pushed Jensen into some kind of sexual identity crisis; he had already figured out what did it for him, but the teacher had made his until-then quiet libido roar to life and a low whine left Jensen's lips when he stroked the already gathering pre-come down his length, fingers dancing over the sensitive underside. He allowed himself to think of what it would be like, his huge teacher towering over him, so able to just claim Jensen, pushing him down and forcing him to take it. The mere thought of the man like that, cock splitting Jensen open, was enough for him to come shockingly fast and he bit down hard on his lower lip to keep in the scream that wanted to escape. Sagging back against the wall of the rickety stall Jensen looked down at where his come-covered fingers were still wrapped around his cock, his breathing heavy as he came down from his orgasm.
"Jensen, are you in here?"
Fumbling for the paper Jensen managed to wipe himself clean and tuck himself in, straightening his clothes the best he could before he pushed the door open to face his friend.
"Chris," he muttered, knowing full well just how he must look.
"What the hell was that about?" Chris asked, leaning against the wall.
"Nothing," Jensen mumbled, moving to the sink to wash himself off, splashing cold water onto his face to calm himself down. "It's just..."
"Yeah," Chris sighed. "I'm not stupid Jensen, but you are if you think I give a fuck."
Jensen met his friend's gaze in the mirror, knowing full well that all the things he had avoided telling Chris were suddenly laid bare between them. Before Mr. Padalecki, Jensen hadn't said anything about his slow dawning realization because he didn't see the point; after the man had arrived he didn't say anything out of fear how his friend would react.
"I don't even know what it is," Jensen admitted when the silence dragged out. "It's just... the way he makes me feel..."
"Padalecki?" Chris said, like it wasn't even a surprise. "You know, this obsession is cute and I'm happy you finally realized what your dick is for but really, in school?"
A shocked laugh escaped Jensen and he shook his head to clear his mind, water droplets flying through the air.
"You're okay with it?" he asked, dragging his damp fingers through his hair.
"What's to be okay with?" Chris said with a shrug, heading for the door. "So you're jerking off over a crush, big deal. No matter what little pedo fantasies you have, it's not like our teacher is stupid enough to tap a thirteen year-old."
Jensen sagged against the wall as his friend left the room, teeth biting down on his lower lip and he didn't know if he wanted to sob or scream. Maybe that was why he never had told his friend: before Chris knew at least Jensen got to have his fantasies to himself.
"I'm still not sure it's the right idea; you know we're not around to take care of it."
Jensen stopped outside of the door, listening to his parents argue in low voices.
"That's why I think it's a good idea," his father said. "We leave the kid alone here all the time, he needs company."
"I know that but...is he really old enough to take care of one?" Jensen's mother protested. "I know he's been down lately, acting different..."
"So we give him something else to focus on, and we get someone to guard the house while we're gone. The backyard is already prepared for it; all we need is a dog flap and we're golden. Jensen can walk him when he comes home from school."
All the thoughts that had been dragging Jensen down for weeks evaporated when he realized just what his parents were discussing and he crossed his fingers. He had been begging for a dog for years, but with both his parents working two jobs they had insisted that they wouldn't have time to take care of a pet and Jensen had all but given up on his dream.
"Maybe this will cheer him up, and with my new manager position I will probably work even more, but at least it's only one job now. He'll have a dog to keep him company, to keep him safe. Let him have it."
When his mother sighed and agreed, Jensen had to push his fist against his mouth to hold back the happy little shout that wanted out. With Chris still mocking his crush on their teacher, at least Jensen would have someone that would be happy to see him.
Jared scowled down at the beer in his hand, not looking over to where he knew his friend was sprawled out in the armchair. Not for the first time did he wonder just how he had ended up with a friend like Chad, but even with the anger building within him each day he knew to value their friendship. It had been a fluke, Chad running into him one late summer evening when Jared had been sure he would be the only one out there and he had caught Jared mid-shift. To Jared's surprise the man had stayed by his side even when his temperament had started to get the better of him.
"It's not like I have a choice," Jared pointed out. "I don't have a family."
"Well, that's because your family are fucking idiots," Chad snapped and Jared didn't even bother to protest.
Soft fingers stroked through his fur and Jared's eyes drifted closed when wave after wave of contentment washed over him. Sometimes he wondered what it would be like when he was older, when the soothing touches would come from a partner and not his family. At age fifteen that was a scary thought; not many shifters could relax with someone unknown touching them and Jared was no exception. He couldn't imagine loving someone enough to let them touch him like that. With a small yip, he rolled over to present his vulnerable belly to his mother's tender fingers and when she stroked through the soft fur he felt all the tension drain away from him.
No one knew why shifters needed their animal form to be petted, loved, but everyone knew that without the love of a family or partner, a shifter would go insane. That wasn't something Jared ever worried about though; he was sure his family would always be there for him.
"I have an idea," Chad said, pulling Jared away from his memories. "We need to get a family to adopt you!"
Jared burst out laughing, the first time he had done so in months, but the laughter died when he realized that Chad was actually being serious. Staring at his friend Jared tried to come up with words for just how stupid the idea was, even with Chad's job at the local dog shelter.
"Chad," Jared said slowly. "You know I work during the days? I think a doting family will notice me being, you know, not there."
"Not the family I have in mind," Chad said with a wide grin. "They even said they didn't want a puppy. You just get to the shelter Saturday morning. I'm sure it'll work."
Jared's nose stung with the many different smells filling the shelter, much more intense than when he had been there in his human form. He couldn't really believe that he had agreed to let Chad put him in a cage; every fibre of his being screamed against it and the urge to turn human was almost overwhelming. In an attempt to calm himself down he looked around the other cages and for the first time he realized that Chad's idea might actually have some merit. The other dogs at the shelter were all well cared for but Jared was in his prime, his coat soft and shiny and he knew that as far as dogs went, he was a gorgeous specimen. If only he knew how his friend had planned to deal with the fact that Jared couldn't be a dog twenty-four/seven.
All thoughts and worries were swept away when a too-familiar scent drifted in through the door to the front office and Jared sat up in an instant, ears twitching as he stared at the door. Even though the scent had warned him, nothing could have prepared him for the shock when Jensen Ackles walked into the room, closely followed by Chad and two people that must be the boy's parents.
Jared cursed the very day he met Chad.
The boy looked around the shelter with the biggest smile Jared had ever seen and it almost made him look like a different person, even more so compared to how sullen the kid had looked for the last few weeks.
"Can I choose? Jensen asked, turning around to face his parents.
"Just keep in mind that we want something big and strong enough to be able to be a guard dog but also stay alone outside most of the day," Jensen's father said.
"No lapdog, got it," Jensen said and started working his way down the row of cages.
Jared understood then why Chad thought his idea could work: if the Ackles family wasn't there during the day, they would be the perfect family for Jared and that thought made Jared feel slightly better even in the confines of the cage. Suddenly Jensen was standing right in front of his cage and Jared moved forward hesitantly, pressing his nose against the hard steel. When Jensen's fingers carefully reached out, allowing Jared to smell him before he reached inside, Jared's first instinct was to shy away from the unfamiliar touch but instead he forced himself to stand still and allow a small hand to nestle its way inside and scratch between his ears. The touch felt nothing like like the comforting petting he remembered from his old life, but at least if felt better than the few times Chad had tried to touch him so Jared endured.
"I want this one," Jensen said, much sooner than Jared would ever have expected.
"Are you sure?" his mother asked hesitantly. "It's an awfully big dog for you."
Jared wanted to growl at her; as much as the Ackles kid annoyed him at times Jared knew a golden opportunity when he saw it. To his relief Chad spoke up in his favor.
"That's an excellent choice; the German Shepherd is a good breed for a guard dog and Jay here is the only long-haired one we've had in quite some time; they are rare, after all," Chad said and if Jared could, he would have eye-rolled at the speech. "He might be big, but I promise you that he is well-behaved and used to kids as well."
"I'm not a kid," Jensen muttered but when he looked up at his mother his voice turned pleading. "Please, mom?"
Chad moved up to open Jared's cage then and Jensen moved out of the way slightly, seemingly reluctant to stop touching Jared but still keeping his distance when Jared walked out. It was good to be free of the cage and Jared shook himself once, making the boy laugh before reaching out again. That time Jared allowed himself to smell the boy more carefully and he realized for the first time how good his scent was when Jared was in his animal form. Carefully Jared reached out to run his tongue over Jensen's fingers, causing the boy to laugh once more and then the hand was back, stroking over his ears and then down his sides to bury in his fur.
"I want him," Jensen said with conviction, moving in to bury his face in Jared's fur and the warmth of his breath was surprisingly soothing. "He's perfect."
The boy's parents looked at each for a few long moments and Jared felt a surge of relief run through him when they nodded their agreement.
"Just know that you'll be the one walking him, and keeping that fur of his looking good," Mrs. Ackles said but fondness made her stern words softer.
For the next quarter of an hour Jared found himself dragged along as papers were signed and money changed hands, Jensen's parents seemed surprised at the low price Chad mentioned but Jared was thankful for it. Even if he didn't know much about Jensen from school it was clear that the family didn't have much money and Jared had no doubts that the money they had planned to spend on a dog must put a considerable dent in their savings. The only hard thing for him was standing still when Chad put a collar and leash on him and had not the family been there he would most likely have tried to bite the man for treating him like that, but as it was his only choice was to stand still and not cringe when Jensen hugged him and told him what a good dog he a was.
Once out at the rusty old car Jared had been expected to be pushed into the far back but instead Jensen insisted that Jared would ride with him in the back seat and Jared allowed the boy to wrap one arm around him, face pressed in against Jared's neck as they drove away from the shelter and towards Jared's new life. He sure hoped that Chad's plan would be effective; Jared himself had no idea how his canine mind would take to the petting from a family that wasn't his own. He didn't know if the fact that Jensen was the one to take care of him made it better or worse. A lot of his worries faded away with Jensen's fingers stroked through his fur and he felt his animal mind take over and for the first time in long months, having someone touch him actually felt good.
"Hey," he said softly as he slid down from his place on the couch.
Jay looked up at him but didn't move more than that and for a moment Jensen hesitated before he reached down to wrap his arms around the dog and laid down next to him.
"I'm so happy you're mine," he mumbled into the soft fur and he smiled wide when a tongue licked over his fingers for a quick moment.
More than anything he was happy that he had received Jay just before Christmas break since it meant he would be able to spend a lot of time with his new friend. He also know that both his parents would work almost around the clock for the entire holiday and he was happy to at least have someone at home with him, even if that someone came with four paws and a tail.
With Jay as a huge furnace against Jensen's side and he knew that could easily fall asleep like that; wrapped around Jay he felt safe, but before he could think any further he heard the front door open and he knew his mom had came home, father already asleep, an early morning call waiting him on the other side of midnight.
"Jensen, darling, still up?"
Jensen sat up, shaking his head to clear his mind and beside him Jay clambered to his feet as well and trotted over to greet Donna. Smiling slightly he kept his eyes on the dog, looking as Jay played the perfect pet. It wasn't until the words had crossed Jensen's mind that he realized just how true they were. One week with Jay in his life and the dog had done no wrong, perfectly behaved at every turn, but in that moment Jensen was sure that the German Shepherd wasn't as into the play and the petting as he let on. It was a weird realization to have, one that made him miss his mother speaking to him once more.
"Jen, are you asleep on your feet already?"
"What? No," he answered, tearing his gaze away from the dog.
"I asked if you've walked Jay yet," his mother said. "I’m going to sleep now; we open really early tomorrow, after all."
"Right," Jensen said. "I mean no, I'll walk him. Right now."
He gave his mother a hug and then reached for the the collar by the door, turning to face Jay. When Jensen looked over at him he saw nothing of the earlier picture-perfect dog behavior though; instead the dog was fully focused on licking himself and Jensen laughed out loud. Obviously his tired mind was playing tricks on him. Calling Jay's name, he managed to get the dog to give up his grooming and soon the two of them were heading out into the cold night air, the December chill biting into his skin and the wind tearing right through his worn coat.
"I'm going crazy," Jensen muttered to himself, rubbing his hands together for heat. "You're just a dog."
Jay stopped, looking up at him and for a moment Jensen almost expected the dog to woof in agreement, but instead the dog took a few quick steps away before his paws hit a patch of ice and Jensen laughed at the way the dog yelped in surprise.
"You big dork," Jensen grinned as he walked on, leash in a firm grip. "C'mon, I'm freezing my ass off here."
Once back in the house Jensen was still shivering and before he even made it to bed, the entire house suddenly went black.
He almost tripped over Jay before his eyes adjusted to the darkness enough that he could make his way through the kitchen and towards the window. Pulling the blinds aside he was met by nothing but blackness; all the lights in the neighborhood were out and Jensen sighed deeply. He knew just how low the mobile home part of town was on the power company's priority list and considering the heat went with the power, Jensen was in for a night, if not a few days, of cold.
"This' gonna suck," he muttered, quickly making his way to his tiny room.
The bed was already cold and the cover did nothing to heat him up as he slid under it, teeth chattering. Jensen had to blink back angry tears. Sometimes he really hated being poor. Even curled in on himself in bed he couldn't get warm, shivering so hard he wondered if it would be worth leaving the bed in search for just one more blanket to put on top of himself. Before he could make a decision, his bed dipped slightly when Jay jumped up, staring down at Jensen for a moment before he reached to grab the cover between his teeth and pull it away.
"What? No," Jensen squeaked, scrambling away from the burst of cold air that hit him.
He didn't have time to scold the dog though, not before Jay found his way in under the covers and lay down, his huge body pressed close to Jensen's.
"Oh..." Jensen breathed out, relaxing right away as the heat of Jared's body started to chase away the cold. "You wanna sleep with me tonight?"
A heated blush crept up Jensen's cheeks when he realized just what he had said and he was grateful Jay was the only one there to make a fool of himself in front of. Creepy smart or not, Jay was just a dog. A very warm dog that fit perfectly against Jensen's body and he quickly pulled the cover up over the both of them, wrapping one arm around Jay's body to gather even more of his heat.
Jensen woke up more comfortable than he could remember being in a very long time. During the night he had wrapped himself tighter around Jay's huge frame, reveling in the soft heat of him. The light shining in through the blinds told him it must be late enough that his parents were long gone, meaning that he and Jay would have the entire day to themselves, again. Sleep was still trying to pull him back under when Jay shifted, moving even closer to Jensen and the movement had his soft fur brushing against where Jensen's cock was straining against his pajamas.
Morning wood wasn't something unusual for Jensen, but the friction of something besides his own hand, that was very unusual and enough to make Jensen's hips snap forward before he could think about it. Beside him, Jay moved again, enough to turn his head and nudge Jensen's cheek with his nose but Jensen wasn't prepared to be pulled to full awareness quite yet. Instead he squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face into Jay's fur, fingers gripping tight as he rolled his hips forward once more. It was wrong, so dirty wrong, but Jensen's cock throbbed, pre-come turning the front of his pants damp and there was no doubt in his mind that he could come like that, rubbing himself against Jay.
"Jay," he moaned, hands sliding through the dog's fur. "God..."
The huge dog shifted then and Jensen tensed up, afraid that Jay would pull away but instead he twisted enough that he was able to lick down Jensen's neck. Warm and silken Jay's tongue felt perfect against Jensen's skin and he gasped, hips moving faster as he rubbed himself against Jay. Riding the dog's side with desperate movements, Jensen muffled his moans into Jay's fur, not wanting to be loud even though he knew there was no one there to hear it. Jay kept licking down his neck, tongue dipping in under his sleeping t-shirt to drag over his collarbone and with one last thrust of his hips, Jensen came hard, soaking through his pajama pants and whimpering when Jay licked up over his face.
Only when he was slowly coming down from his climax did it hit Jensen what he had just done and his eyes flew open, staring into Jay's dark ones for a long moment before the dog pulled away, sliding out of the bed and down on the floor where he promptly sat down and started licking the place where Jensen's come had wet his fur.
Jared's human side was close to a freak-out, the taste of Jensen still lingering on his tongue, but his dog mind wanted to get back up on the bed and make sure his human wasn't freezing.
The thought was enough for Jared to huff out a surprised breath that had Jensen flinching, tugging the sheets closer while a blush crept up his cheeks. Looking at the kid, Jared realized that he was more at ease than he had been since his life came crashing down around him so many months ago and it was with that knowledge deep inside him that he jumped back up on the bed, dragging his tongue over Jensen's cheek until the tension drained out of the boy and they both fell down on the bed, Jensen laughing and wrapping his arms around Jared. In that moment Jared decided to not overthink whatever it was that happened when he was in his dog form. Jensen gave him what he needed and he wasn't gonna worry, he was just going to make the most out of the winter break.
"I've never met anyone like you before," Ryan said, hands sliding through Jared's hair as he dragged Jared down into their first kiss.
Jared curled one hand around the man's head, holding him still as he pushed his tongue in between his lips and reveled in the close contact, in the warm body pressed up next to his and the sounds that Ryan made. It wasn't his first relationship, but it was the first time he thought that it might actually lead somewhere, that the man might actually be there to stay. But then, Jared had one important thing to tell the man if he wanted to have any chance of anything permanent.
"Wait... Ryan," Jared gasped, not really wanting to break the kiss.
"Mmmmm," Ryan moaned, his tongue dipping into Jared's mouth once more.
"No, wait," Jared repeated. "We need to talk."
"Huh," Ryan said, taking a step back. "Nothing ominous about that at all. What is it you want to talk about?"
Jared saw hesitation and worry in the man's eyes, but it was the glimmer of hope that had him taking a deep breath before he reached out to tangle his fingers with Ryan's, keeping them connected.
"There's one thing you don't know about me," Jared started slowly. "And the thing is, I really like you so I want you to know this."
A fast smile played across Ryan's lips then and he took a small step closer, one hand resting on Jared's hip.
"So tell me," Ryan said softly.
"I'm a... well," Jared said, eyes sliding shut as he pulled in another deep breath. "I'm a shifter."
He was met with nothing but silence and it was a few long moments before he dared to open his eyes and was met by Ryan's soft gray eyes smiling up at him.
"What breed?" Ryan asked.
Jared's mouth fell open, it was the last thing he had expected the man to ask but Ryan just stood there, waiting for the answer, like Jared hadn't just dropped a huge bomb on him and Jared found himself smiling.
"You really have no problem with this?" he asked, tugging Ryan even closer.
"You just said you really liked me," Ryan said with a grin. "That's good enough for me."
He pushed into the kiss and Jared's heart soared. In that moment, his life was perfect.
Jared opened his eyes and looked at the boy next to him on the bed, since the time the electricity had run out he had taken to sleeping in Jensen's bed. At first to keep the boy warm but he had to admit to himself that he liked the closeness and every hour he spent with the boy wrapped around him he could feel his fractured mind slowly healing again, his sanity returning even though the anger and bitterness was still there, easier to control when he was on all fours with small hands stroking through his soft fur. He told himself that was the reason that he didn't move away when Jensen moaned and rubbed his hard cock against Jared's side.
He could so easily remember the only time it had happened before but it felt too long ago, the memory of salty come on his tongue had faded away but a part of him wanted to taste it again. The next morning he would be back in school, no more long days spent with Jensen petting him, Jensen's entire being focused on him. It wasn't a hardship to give the boy what his teenage libido begged for.
Jensen's taste was still on his tongue, his smell filling Jared's mind when he came into the classroom where Jared was preparing for the day's lesson. He could feel green eyes on him but when he looked up the boy quickly looked away, cheeks turning red as he slid into his seat, soon followed by his best friend. He could see Chris lean in to say something, clearly something that the boy didn't like because he pulled away and glared at the other boy.
"Not funny, Chris," Jensen hissed, loud enough for the sound to travel through the still filling classroom. "You're such a fucking..."
"Mr. Ackles," Jared snapped, making the boy stiffen in his seat before he turned around to face Jared. "You know my rules in this classroom. Cursing is not allowed."
"Yes, Mr. Padalecki," Jensen answered, shoulders hunching in and the boy seemed to almost shrink when he curled in on himself.
"I don't think you and Mr. Kane should be sitting together," Jared continued, anger simmering white hot under the surface even though he wasn't sure why. "I'm sure you can find another seat."
Neither of the boys responded but Jensen did move to another seat and Jared went back to trying to focus on the papers he had managed to prepare, annoyed at what little time he had to prepare when he had to act the good dog for Jensen even when he really needed human time for his work. Being back at school really made him doubt Chad's plan and he could feel the calm of the last few weeks drain away with every moment he spent surrounded by kids that had no urge to be there at all.
Nothing was made better by the fact that he could feel both Jensen and Chris glaring at him.
"You know," Chris muttered when they left the school the same afternoon. "You could at least have called me during the break, I mean really, you've been that busy?"
That was enough to pull him out of his mindspace, head snapping up to look at his friend and he realized that he had in fact ignored his best friend for the entire winter break, too focused on Jay and too ashamed of what had happened between him and the dog.
"Sorry," he muttered, hitching his backpack up more comfortably. "I've...well..."
"I know your parents never have time for you, so I thought you would want to hang out."
Jensen flinched back at the harshness of the words, stepping away from Chris as he stared at the boy with wide eyes, feeling the first burn of tears wanting to spill over.
"Fuck," Chris said quickly. "Dude, I didn't mean it like that."
"It's true though," Jensen muttered. "They don't have time with me, so they bought me a dog."
"Really?" Chris' face turned from guilty to excited in an instant and he grinned wide. "You got a dog? Oh that's awesome, can I see it? Is it big?"
Pride swelled in Jensen's chest and he grabbed Chris' wrist, tugging him along with him and by the time asphalt gave way to the gravel of the mobile home park, they were almost running. Jensen was happy they lived in the furthest corner, the only reason they actually had a secluded and fenced in backyard for Jay.
"C'mon," Jensen said, almost stumbling when they made their way around the back. "He's..."
He fell silent when he saw Jay standing in the middle of the yard, clearly not caring about the cold even though the backdoor had a dog flap, one that barely allowed the big dog to wriggle his way through it.
"Hey boy," he said, climbing over the fence and he could feel Chris following him. "Did you miss me?"
Jay was on him the second he landed, tumbling the both of them down on the ground and he could hear Chris laugh when the dog licked all over Jensen's face. Jensen was laughing as well, trying to not think about the way the close proximity to Jay had his cock twitch with interest. There was just some things that Jensen would never tell his friend, no matter what.
"Isn't he gorgeous?" Jensen said, managing to untangle himself from Jay enough to get back up on his feet. "He's the best dog ever."
"He's fucking huge," Chris said, slowly reaching out one hand towards Jay.
The dog sat still, allowing Chris to touch him but showing no trace of the excitement he showered Jensen with, no lick to the offered hand and Jensen found himself happy over that. Crazy as it might be, he didn't want Jay's tongue to touch anyone but him. He wrapped his arms around Jay once more, loving the feel of the huge body against his, it soothed away the way Mr. Padalecki had treated him during the day.
Jensen knew that Jay was in the room, could hear his heavy breathing from over in the corner but for some reason the dog wasn't in the bed and without really thinking too much about it, his hand slid down over his belly to where his cock was slowly hardening. He sent a quick glance over to where Jay was curled up on the floor, clearly really liking the heat of the radiator he was resting by and Jensen couldn't blame him. It was really good to have heat back in the house and Jensen took advantage of the opportunity, pushing the covers off and he hesitated for only a moment before he slid his t-shirt and pajama bottoms off, stretching out naked on the bed.
He heard Jay moving and when Jensen looked over the dog was still down on the floor but his eyes were open and locked on Jensen. For some reason, that firm gaze made Jensen's cock twitch with interest and he reached down to wrap one hand around his cock.
Pleasure shot through him, making his whole body arch up off the bed and Jensen moaned, biting down on his lower lip to keep the sound down even though he knew his parents were hard enough sleepers that them hearing him wasn't very likely. He tried to not think of how it had felt a few days earlier when Jay had been right next to him, fur sliding over his skin as Jensen had pushed his aching hard-on against the dog's side until he had spilled all over him, again. But even when he tried not to think about it, the thought was right there and it was enough to make his cock throb, leaking pre-come that slicked the slide of Jensen's hand.
"God," Jensen moaned, not able to tear his eyes away from Jay's. "Oh..."
With a groan he managed to pull his head to the side, biting into the pillow as his grip on his dick hardened and he reached for the bedside table, pulling out the small drawer and fumbling around until his hand closed around a small, slightly sticky tube. Slicking his hand with lube he reached down to stroke himself again, not letting his gaze travel back to the dog but it was still Jay that was in his mind when his slick fingers drifted down to stroke over the tight furl of his hole. It wasn't the first time he had touched himself like that, it had been one of the first things he had tried once he started to figure out where his sexual interest lay, but with thoughts of both Jay and his asshole of a teacher swirling in his mind, it was almost too much to take.
The position wasn't the best, and Jensen pulled his hand away and turned around, hissing when the movement made his hard cock rub against his worn sheets. Pushing himself up on all fours he saw movement in the corner of his eyes, Jay sitting up and watching him but he ignored the dog in favor of inching himself forward on the bed until he could brace himself with one hand on the rickety headboard. He spread his legs wide and then reached behind him, slowly sliding one slick finger inside and he couldn't hold back the low cry of pleasure when he felt the digit open him up. Even though the position meant he couldn't stroke his hard cock, he could feel pleasure rise higher and higher with each push and slide of his finger and when he added a second one he was shivering, beads of sweat sliding down his back.
His entire body froze, fingers still buried deep inside, when the bed dipped behind him and he heard a low huff as Jay jumped up, his front paws brushing against Jensen's spread legs when he moved up the bed. Jensen knew he should push the dog aside, should get away, but instead he stayed right where he was until he could feel the warm press of Jared's nose against his lower back.
Behind him the dog stilled for a moment at the soft whisper of his name, but then the warmth of Jay's tongue traveled down his spine, gathering the sweat before it slid down over the curve of his ass. It was wrong, so very wrong, and yet all Jensen could do was spread his legs wider in a blatant invitation to the dog behind him. An invitation that Jay was all too eager to accept and Jensen let out a guttural groan when the wet tongue circled around where his fingers were stretching him open. It was unlike anything Jensen had experienced before; for the first time he had someone else touching him, not knowing what move would come next and the knowledge that it was a dog made it even better.
"Jay... Oh fuck, Jay... more, more..."
He knew that the dog didn't understand him, but it seemed that he liked the taste of Jensen because his tongue focused on Jensen's hole and a low growl escaped him before Jay pushed at Jensen's fingers with his nose. It took a moment before Jensen understood what the dog wanted but when he did, he pulled his fingers out with a low whimper, only to have them replaced by a warm, strong tongue pushing inside. The grip of the headboard slipped and Jensen found himself collapsing into the pillows, ass still in the air and the new position gave Jay even better access to get his tongue deep inside.
A small cry escaped Jensen, muffled by the pillows, when Jared's tongue found the spot inside Jensen that always made him see stars and it was even better than when he pushed his own fingers inside, better than the brush handle he had once dared to push deep into himself.
"Jay," he breathed out, not able to form any coherent sentences. "Good dog... Such a good dog."
Jay shifted behind him, tongue sliding out to swirl around the rim and Jensen moaned when his untouched cock twitched, pre-come leaking out and dripping down on the bed beneath him. In a bright flash of curiosity he thought of what it would be like if Jay moved forward, if the huge dog pushed his cock into Jensen's ass, stretching him wide. The thought made his cock twitch again and Jensen fumbled one hand down beneath himself, reaching down to wrap it around his cock and the dual sensation was enough to make his breath hitch and his vision flicker. Hi orgasm was building deep inside, a heat unfurling itself and stretching out until every nerve ending felt like it was on fire and Jay's tongue was rapidly pushing him towards the edge with each lick, each swipe deep inside Jensen.
Just when Jay's tongue found his prostate once more, a different image flashed through Jensen's mind, one of Mr. Padalecki bending him over, pushing his tongue into Jensen's ass and licking him open. The thought was enough to push Jensen over the edge and his orgasm crashed over him, wave after wave of pleasure so powerful that Jensen had to bite down on his pillow to keep from screaming.
"Jay... Jay..." he whined, voice barely audible. "God...Jay....Jared."
He collapsed down on the bed, Jay's tongue sliding free of his body and Jensen was too blissed out to realize that Jay was standing still on the bed, staring at him for several long minutes before he jumped off the bed and left the room.
Jensen gritted his teeth together, walking home briskly and cursing low under his breath with every step he took. If he had thought that the mind-numbing pleasure of the night before would set the tone for the week he had been sorely mistaken. In the morning Jay had been in a foul mood, growling low when Jensen tried to stroke his soft fur and Jensen had felt a stab of guilt over what he had allowed the dog to do. To make things even worse Chris was sick and Jensen didn't have anyone to talk to at school, not that he would have told Chris what had happened but at least his friend’s presence would have allowed him to think of something else.
What little equilibrium he still had managed to cling on to, had been shattered when Mr. Padalecki had snapped at him, calling him to answer question that the teacher must have known Jensen couldn't answer, things they hadn't even studied yet and by the time the school day was over, Jensen felt tears burning behind his eyelids. The only relief of the day was that Mr. Padalecki never taught last period so at least Jensen got some time at school without running into him all the time.
It was not much of a silver lining though, not when a part of Jensen loved watching the man, no matter how horrible he acted. Jensen was so screwed.
All he wanted was to get home, hoping that Jay was in a better mood and would allow Jensen to wrap himself around the dog and seek comfort in a warm tongue and soft fur. He swore to himself that if Jay was acting more like himself again, Jensen would make sure nothing happened between them again.
But Jay wasn't himself by the time Jensen got back to the house. In fact, Jay wasn't there at all because the backyard was empty despite Jensen knowing that the dog flap had been locked, only a small tufts of fur stuck to the fence showing where Jay must have managed to jump over. Jensen stared in shock at the fence, reaching out to tug the strands free and he bit down hard on his lower lip. It didn't help though, Jay was still gone. Biting back a sob Jensen spun around and started searching through the mobile home park without a single trace of Jay and not even door knocking brought him closer to getting his dog back.
Sitting down on the lumpy, second-hand couch, Jared sighed deeply, lifting a cheap beer to his lips and taking a deep swig. He knew he should be sleeping, getting some resme t, but each time he closed his eyes he could hear the echo of Jensen's moans, the way his name had fallen from the boy's lips.
His name. Not Jay, but his own, and the lines between his human and animal sides had blurred too much. Jared had had no choice but to get out of there, waiting for Jensen to leave for school before he jumped the fence and made his way to his own apartment. He had barely been there during the weeks spent with Jensen and the Ackles family, had only gone there for quick visits when he needed a book for one of his classes.
"Damn you for messing everything up," he gritted out between clenched teeth.
Only problem was he didn't know if he was speaking to Jensen or to himself.
Even in the car he could feel the weight of eyes on him, following him and judging him. He wished it was all in his head but when he looked out the window he met the gaze of a woman, her scowl clear evidence of just how right he was in his fears.
It shouldn't surprise him, not after the long talk he had just been through with the principal of the school he worked for. The job of his dreams, the very thing he had been working towards since he first realized what he wanted to do with his life. The very job he had been fired from less than thirty minutes earlier.
Just thinking about it was enough for tears to threaten to spill and he blinked furiously, trying to will them away as he turned in to his parents’ neighborhood. He could feel his mind fraying at the edges and he was desperate to get back to familiar ground, having his family's hands stroking through his fur to calm him down. Soothe away the ache of having lost everything.
Pulling in on the driveway he took a few breaths, trying to calm himself down but even so he almost stumbled as he made his way towards the front door, just about to reach out when the door swung open and his mom stood in the doorway.
"Mom," Jared breathed out.
"What are you doing here?"
Jared froze mid-stride, his mouth falling open as he looked at his mom, taking in the stiff posture and the hard, uncaring look in her eyes.
"What..." he started but then he shook his head. "Mom, they.... God, they fired me. Said they couldn't... have someone like..."
He swallowed thickly, trying to get the past the lump in his throat. Just when he was about to step forward again, seek out the contact of family, his mother let out a harsh laugh that was anything but comforting.
"Can you blame them?" she scoffed. "The way you acted... Your dad and I raised you better than this."
"You're a disgrace," Sherri went on and Jared felt the blood drain from his face. "The way people look at me when I go out shopping, the way they whisper behind my back. How could you do this to your family, Jared?"
There was enough venom in her words that Jared took a stumbling step back, not understanding what was happening. Surely the woman in front of him couldn't be his warm and loving mother?
"I don't want you back here," his mother said coldly. "Your perverted urges will not pull this family under."
Jared felt more lonely than he had since he arrived to the new town, to the run-down apartment that he pretended was a home. He had been stupid to think Chad's plan would work, that the thing with the Ackles family would be something that could turn permanent. Jared cursed himself for ever allowing Jensen to get to him, that he allowed anything to ever happen with the kid.
The warm, too-familiar scent of Jensen reached him even before the boy stepped into the classroom and Jared forced himself to not look up as he heard Jensen walk to his seat and it wasn't until Chris joined in the classroom that Jared's focus was fully torn from the essays in front of him on the desk.
"Dude, you look horrible."
Chris' words were enough to make Jared look up, trying to not make it too obvious that he was watching the two friends but the second his gaze fell on Jensen, he had to agree with Chris' statement. Jensen's skin was too pale, fragile-looking, and his eyes looked red and puffy and it took a few long moments before Jared realized that it must be from crying.
"Don't... Chris," Jensen murmured. "Just... please..."
"Jesus, what the fuck happened?" Chris asked, concern replacing the previous teasing tone.
Jensen just shook his head, refusing to talk to his friend but Jared didn't need him to speak, not when it was so very obvious what losing Jay had done to the boy and Jared tried to tell himself that was the only reason he found himself following Jensen and Chris after school ended for a day, paws silent against the frozen ground and his sensitive ears could hear each word the boys traded. Not that it helped much; it was mostly Chris doing the talking and Jensen slowly trudging behind, hands burrowed in his pockets. They rounded the corner of the house and Chris stopped when he took in the empty backyard.
"Where's Jay?" Chris asked, turning around to face Jensen.
Jensen stilled, the only movement where Jared was sure he was clenching his fists where they were hidden in the pockets of his too thin winter coat.
"Gone," Jensen said, voice sounding fragile and broken.
"What?" Chris asked and Jared edged closer, hiding behind the corner of the house. "Did you get rid of him?"
"I would never!" Jensen protested. "He just..ran away."
His voice did break on the last word and some part of Jared was urging him to move forward, to push his nose into Jensen's hand and allow the boy to stroke his fur until the sad tone was gone from his voice.
"I'm sorry," Chris said softly and in that moment Jared understood why Jensen was friends with the other boy even though they sometimes seemed a weird pair. "Really, I'm so sorry."
"I shouldn't be surprised," Jensen muttered, looking down at the ground. "I mean, not even my own parents really have time for me. Why would... I just thought that... Fuck, Chris, I thought he loved me. Aren't dogs supposed to love their owners? What's wrong with me when I can't even get a pet to like me?"
The next moment Jensen was crying so hard his whole body was shaking and Chris moved forward, pulling his friend into a tight hug. One that made Jared want to jump forward and growl, get those hands off his human. Instead he moved back, walking away until he could no longer hear Jensen's heart-breaking sobs.
Two weeks without Jay and Jensen was aching with how much he missed the dog. He knew that his parents were worried; his dad had even offered to get him a new dog even though Jensen knew they weren't even close to having money enough for that. The suggestion had ended with Jensen breaking down crying, again, and not another word had been said about replacing Jay.
Apart from missing Jay, Jensen couldn't stop thinking about that last night, how good it had been. And how stupid he had been to think it would mean as much to Jay as it had to Jensen, that it would mean anything at all. The whirlwind of thoughts filled Jensen with a burning shame, cheeks heating and not for the first time he felt the pinprick of tears behind his eyelids. How messed up must he be that he had enjoyed Jay's body against his and the strong tongue on his body? The thoughts wouldn't leave him alone and even with the hurt of Jay having left him, they were enough to make his cock harden. His fingers were nothing compared to the pleasure that had been Jay's tongue pushing into his body.
Jensen knew he was starting to become obsessed, but he needed answers, needed to understand himself. He told himself that was the only reason he found himself in the furthest corner of the poorly-stocked school library, sitting at one of the oldest computers, the ones that no one ever bothered to use. It was a stupid idea and he knew it, that didn't stop him from typing in his search phrase and hitting enter. He needed to know if he was the only one.
Jensen was not the only one.
He couldn't really wrap his mind around the sea of information he found, images and videos that took his breath away. Looking around he realized he must have spent longer in the library than he thought, light fading fast outside the dirty windows and Jensen quickly turned back to the computer, not wanting to return back home quite yet. The empty house wasn't very tempting so instead he clicked on a link he had noticed on one of the pages, taking him to a new page and Jensen's jaw dropped with what was portrayed there.
"Shifting Species..Oh, my..."
Staring at the page he had to clamp one hand over his mouth to keep from making a sound as he stared at the short clip showing two men kissing before one of them turned into a huge black dog, tongue still licking into the human man's mouth.
Of course Jensen knew about shifters, everyone did, but they were rare enough that his small town had never had one, at least as far as Jensen knew, but the very thought of a dog that would lick him like that, a dog that would be aware, was enough to make him whimper and his cock throb. If nothing else that page gave him all the answers he needed. He knew that he loved Jay, of that there was no doubt in his mind, and he knew his pathetic crush on Mr Padalecki might be stronger than he ever truly admitted, even to himself, but it was obvious that it was more than that because looking at the dog licking into the man's mouth in a messed up imitation of a kiss, Jensen was more turned on than he ever was with his own cock in his hand.
"Jesus," he moaned, quickly launching forward and before he could think it through too much he cleared out the browsing history, trying to cover up every trace before he pushed away and made his way towards the doors.
He wasn't looking where he was going, too many thoughts swirling around in his mind but he was forcefully brought back to the present when he slammed into something solid.
"Watch where you're going, Mr. Ackles. This is a library, not a playground."
Jensen stumbled back, staring up at Mr. Padalecki's huge frame, towering over him and his eyes looked almost black in the dimmed light of the library.
"Mr. Padalecki," Jensen gasped, quickly shifting the backpack he had been holding in one hand until it was covering his still half-hard dick. "I'm..."
His teacher's gaze flickered over to the computer Jensen had vacated and Jensen couldn't stop the way his cheeks flushed and a part of him wanted to go back to the computer, check a second time that there was no way for Mr. Padalecki to find out just what he had been up to.
"Go home," Mr. Padalecki said sternly. "I'm about to lock up here and I'm sure your parents are wondering where you are."
Jensen couldn't help but flinch, the words a harsh reminder that there would be no one at the house waiting for him, no warm body pressing up against his but he forced himself to calm down and he did nothing but nod quickly as he stepped around his teacher and left the library. He was sure that he could feel Mr. Padalecki's eyes on him with each step he took but he refused to look around to make sure if he was right, instead he quickened his step even though he had no real urge to get back home.
He couldn't really believe that Jensen had been watching Shifting Species, a site that was just too familiar for Jared to not recognize it with ease. It wasn't something he would ever have admitted to his family, not even to Ryan, but he had dreamt about it, about finding someone that could truly accept both sides of him. Someone that would want Jared just as much as he wanted the dog side of him. He had never expected to actually find it, and the mere thought of it terrified him. That one thing could be what he so desperately needed to put himself back together, but he also knew that if he found a person like that, and that person left, it would break him for good.
And people had a habit of leaving Jared Padalecki.
The elevator up to Ryan's penthouse apartment was moving much too slowly and Jared's fingertips were drumming out a staccato rhythm against the mirrored wall while he watched the numbers slowly rising. He just wanted the day to end, wanted it all to be over and done with. Leaning back against the wall he didn't even think of why he was where he was instead of heading home to his own place. He needed someone and had gone from things having been good, damn close to perfect, to where Ryan was now his only safe haven.
Once the elevator finally reached the top floor, Jared made his way out while fumbling for the spare key that Ryan had given him a few weeks earlier, accompanied by soft words about Jared always being welcome over. He still felt slightly weird letting himself into his boyfriend's apartment but he knew that Ryan would be at work for another few hours so he didn't even bother knocking.
But Ryan wasn't at work. Ryan was in the apartment, packing things into big moving boxes and the sight had Jared freezing in place, the key in his hand falling to the floor with a clatter that sounded too loud in the silence that stretched out between them. It was all too much, Jared's mind not even wanting to try to make sense of things and all he wanted was to be back to a few days earlier, back when his life wasn't crumbling around him.
"Well...fuck..." Ryan sighed, tossing the book he was holding down into an open box. "This was really not how I wanted to do this."
"There's a good way of doing this?" Jared asked, not knowing if he should laugh, cry or hit something. All options sounded quite good to him.
"No," Ryan said and took a deep breath. "I've been offered a job in London. It's too good to pass up."
"Right," Jared said, knowing full well that Ryan had longed for Europe for years but he couldn't be happy for the man because there was only one way for their story to end. "And what happened the other day had nothing to do with it?"
The way Ryan cringed and looked away was answer enough for Jared and he looked down on the floor where the key lay, gleaming metal against the hardwood floor.
"When did you get the offer?" he asked, surprised at how even his voice sounded.
"A week ago," Ryan said. "I had until yesterday to give them my decision."
"Would you even have told me, or did you just plan to disappear?" Jared asked. "No, never mind. I'm quite fucking sure I don't wanna know the answer."
"I'm sorry," Ryan said quietly. "I can't... It's my career and I can't lose... "
Jared just nodded before he kicked the small key towards his boyfriend, ex-boyfriend a voice in the back of his mind carefully reminded him.
"Fuck you. No, really. Fuck you."
"Never again," Jared said to the empty library.
He tried to push all thoughts of Jensen out of his mind as he left the library, heading straight for the closest liquor store.
Jared was not supposed to have the number he was staring down at, but he did. It was amazing the things you could find with the help of a computer and a wonderful thing like the internet. Somewhere in the back of his mind a voice was telling him he shouldn't be dialing the number, but the haze of alcohol blurred away the edges of right and wrong and Jared's fingers kept hovering over the call button. The table in front of him was littered with beer bottles, condensation leaving wet rings on the polished wood and Jared was way past a simple buzz. At 11 pm he had been at the beer for several hours, and he really didn't see a reason to stop now. Reaching for his latest beer, he pushed the button and waited for the call to connect.
"What the... who the fuck... It's four in the bloody morning!"
For some reason the word bloody made Jared flinch, staring down at the phone in his hand. He knew very well that it was a word Ryan would never have used before he left, just another small thing that showed how far away he was. How easy it had been for the man to leave Jared behind.
"You sound different," Jared mumbled to himself.
It hurt to hear Ryan say his name, voice laced with sleep in a way that was much too familiar, bringing up memories that Jared was sure he had buried much deeper.
"What the hell. Jay, do you know what time it..."
"You're such a bastard," Jared cut him off, not wanting to listen to the man's sleep-heavy voice, not even when the pain of the too-familiar nickname cut through him like knifes. "Was it easy for you?"
He could hear movement on the other side and could imagine Ryan getting out of bed, could too easily imagine the way his pajama pants would hang low on his hips and the way he would run one hand through sleep-mussed hair.
"Why are you calling, Jared? Has something happened?"
The concern in Ryan's voice was enough to make Jared laugh bitterly, squeezing his eyes shut while he tried to calm his breathing down enough to say the things he wanted to say, things he needed to tell his former boyfriend.
"I just need to know if it was easy for you to leave, Ryan," he said, not opening his eyes. "Was it easy to pack all your things and just leave the town, leave me."
"The fuck?" Ryan muttered. "Jay, are you fucking drunk?"
"I guess that's all the answer I need," Jared sighed.
"No," Ryan said suddenly. "It fucking wasn't easy, okay? But I couldn't... this job, it's good for me. I know it was a damn shitty thing to do and I'm sorry. I just couldn't stay, and I know I hurt you but... you and me were fun, Jared. But it wasn't long term. Never could be with your...issues..."
It probably took Jared longer than it would had he been sober before he could catch up and understand what issues Ryan was talking about and the words were enough to rip all wounds wide open.
"My issues? You mean...being a shifter. I thought you were... you said it was okay..."
He heard Ryan mumble something that he couldn't quite catch before the telltale sound of a lighter and then a deep breath reached him and he could only imagine Ryan with a cigarette between his lips, pulling the smoke deep into his lungs.
"I thought I... Fucking hell, this is not how I... Look, I thought I was but it's too much. It's one thing for your family to be all accepting and understanding but..."
The sounds that left Jared in that moment was nothing less than a growl and he could hear Ryan's shocked silence on the other side.
"My family disowned me for being gay, for humiliating them by kissing my boyfriend in public. And isn't that just the fucking cherry on top of this clusterfuck of a cake, Ryan. You could easily be there for that, but the second things turned bad, when I fucking needed you, you tucked your tail between your legs and fled. Fuck it, I thought I needed your explanation, but I don't. Because I've met someone that is more than you ever were, someone who can love me, all of me."
"I did love you," Ryan said, voice almost too quiet for Jared to hear. "I still love you."
Jared thought of how easily Ryan had walked out of his life without hesitation and then he thought to how broken Jensen still looked, weeks after Jay had disappeared from his life.
"No," Jared said. "You have no idea what love is."
He ended the call and dropped the phone down on the floor, not caring if it broke as he got up and walked to the door, leaving his half-empty beer bottle on one of the boxes that had served as a hallway table ever since he moved in. Before he could get the door open, he heard the ringtone of his cell phone and when he looked back over his shoulder he could see it vibrating on the floor. He knew what name he would see on the display and that made it even easier to walk out of the apartment, not even bothering to lock it behind him. As soon as he was sure that no one was watching, he shifted and ran as fast as he could to where he was sure that he belonged.
Sitting outside, looking out over the empty backyard didn't help in any way, but it was the only place where he could still feel some closeness to Jay so that was where he was. He was torn from his thoughts when he heard movement out in the darkness and he tensed up, fear making it hard to breathe and he pushed himself closer to the wall, hoping that whoever was out there wouldn't see him. A loud thump made him twitch and the next moment he could see a shadow moving through the yard, coming straight for him and Jensen opened his mouth to scream but the sound never came because the next second a soft woof rang out in the still of the night and Jensen would know that sound anywhere.
Of course the dog didn't answer, but he didn't need to, not when Jensen found his arms full of the big German Shepherd and a wet tongue licked all over his face.
"God, Jay," Jensen managed to get out, fingers gripping the fur tightly. "You came back. You came back to me!"
He didn't care where the dog had been, didn't care why he had gone, all he cared about was that Jay was with him again and he wasn't even ashamed of the tears that fell down his cheeks, not when Jay quickly lapped them away again. The cold of the night was quickly chased away by the familiar heat of Jay's body against his and Jensen didn't care when the blanket fell to the ground, at least it gave him something softer to land on when Jay pushed forward enough for Jensen to topple over, still clinging tightly to his beloved friend. It wasn't until Jay's wet nose found its way in under the collar of his coat that Jensen became aware of just where they were and even though his house was the one closest to the woods he knew that there always was a possibility of someone catching them. And he had promised himself he wouldn't do anything that might cause Jay to ever leave him again.
"No, stop Jay," he got out, pushing the big body away from his. "We should...go inside. Please."
Not for the first time did he wonder about the dog's intelligence when Jay moved toward the back door, turning around to look at Jensen where he still was splayed out on the ground.
"That's not creepy at all," Jensen muttered as he got up but he couldn't keep the wide grin off his face as he let the dog inside.
At first he thought about getting Jay some food but the dog went straight for his room, jumping up on the bed before he turned around to look at Jensen once more, another bark breaking the silence and if Jensen didn't know better he would have sworn that it was expectant.
"I'm coming," he promised, stripping out of his coat and jeans and after a moment's hesitation he pushed off his long-sleeved shirt until he was only clad in t-shirt and underwear.
Jay willingly moved to the side, allowing Jensen to slide in under the covers but he growled when Jensen tried to pull the covers back in place without letting the dog in under them. Jensen hesitated then, but when Jay turned big, pleading eyes on him there was no way he could deny them what they both wanted and Jay quickly wriggled his way in beside Jensen and returned to licking his face happily. It was obvious that Jay had missed him, even if it probably wasn't as badly as Jensen had missed Jay, and Jensen allowed the dog to lick until all traces of tears were gone and Jensen laughed at the tickling sensation. But then Jay stopped for a moment and looked down at him, his big body seemingly huge where it towered over him and Jensen couldn't stop the shiver that ran through him.
When Jay started licking down his neck, wet tongue finding every sensitive spot as it went, Jensen knew he should stop it, should push the dog way, but it felt so damn good and no matter what promises he had made himself he knew that he wanted Jay's tongue on him. His cock was already half-hard, tenting his underwear and by the time Jay's nose found the sliver of bare skin where his t-shirt had rode up, Jensen was already trembling in anticipation.
"I want you to... god..." Jensen whispered. "I really hope you want to..."
He moaned when Jay's tongue traced over his skin, soft heat that felt amazing and Jensen couldn't help the way his hips rose up off the bed, searching more contact. A shocked gasp left his lips when Jay's teeth scraped over his skin; it didn't hurt much but what little pain there was seemed to send white-hot pleasure straight to his cock. The dog managed to bite down on the waistband of his boxer briefs, slowly pulling them down and Jensen fumbled to help get them off, almost sobbing when he felt hot breath against his bare cock.
Jay looked up at him, holding his gaze for a long moment before he licked out, his tongue wrapping around the length of Jensen's dick and Jensen groaned, his head falling back down on the pillow. Jensen spread his legs wide, allowing Jay a place between them and the dog shifted around, fitting between Jensen's legs and his long, soft fur brushed the inside of Jensen's thighs as he moved forward to lick eagerly at his cock. What little hesitation he had still clung to faded away and all he could think of was how Jay's tongue felt on him, the pleasure that crashed over him with each lick. His hands were fisting the sheets, trying to ground himself in some way but he couldn't think further than Jay's tongue exploring him and when the dog licked down over his balls Jensen was almost sobbing with how good it felt.
"Jay, so good. Jesus, your tongue..."
The dog's tail swished back and forth as his tongue found Jensen's hole, sliding over it time and time again and Jensen trembled, could feel the first tendrils of his orgasm as it started to build deep inside him. He thought back to what information he had found, the few videos he had dared to watch and he knew what he wanted, knew that he would never dare to try it with anyone but Jay.
"Wait, wait... Not yet. Don't wanna..."
He pushed Jay away, fumbling for the bedside table and he swore he could feel the dog's eyes on him as he slicked his fingers up and brought them down between his legs. Jay's tongue licked over the inside of his thigh, making Jensen shiver as he worked quickly to prepare himself. His fingers felt good, but it was when Jay's tongue slid down to work over the stretched rim that he sobbed in pleasure and pushed three fingers deep inside, not caring about the burn.
"I love you," he moaned. "God, Jay, I love you so much."
The second he pulled his fingers out, Jay was there and his tongue soothed away some of the discomfort of the too-fast stretch and when it found its way inside Jensen couldn't hold back the soft cry of pleasure. Jay's tongue didn't leave his body when he turned around, tongue sliding out of his hole and instead licked over the rim and over the curve of his ass as Jensen got up on all fours. Looking back over his shoulder he met Jay's dark gaze and he swore he could see want there, something that was confirmed when he looked further down and saw the pink tip of Jay's cock.
He wasn't really sure what he was begging for but it seemed like Jay did because the dog jumped up, his front paws resting on Jensen's back and he was glad he still had his t-shirt on when he felt the blunt scrape of claws before the dog managed to fit his front legs around Jensen and pull him back. It was an almost surreal feeling, Jay's huge body blanketing his and the soft fur sliding over his skin as Jay got them both in position. In the next moment all higher brain function left him as Jay's hips thrust forward and he felt the first slide of the slick dog dick sliding between his cheeks and pushing against his hole. He had known from the video that it would be fast, but the speed at which Jay's hips snapped forward took his breath away and when Jay's cock found his opening and slid deep inside with one hard thrust, it was all Jensen could do to not scream out loud.
He could feel each inch of Jay's cock as it pushed inside him, much bigger than Jensen had ever expected and it hurt when it filled him up. If he had thought Jay would be gentle he had been mistaken, he pushed his cock so deep inside that Jensen thought he could taste it in the back of his throat. The dog held perfectly still for a few blessed seconds, but then it was like a switch flicked somewhere inside him and he started truly fucking Jensen.
"Oh, fuck," Jensen gasped, fingers digging deep into the sheets. "Oh...god...fucking..."
Jay shifted slightly, pushing closer and the new position made his cock hit Jensen's prostate, making his cock harden and pulse out pre-come on the sheets beneath him. He knew that he should think it was wrong, dirty, but all he could think of was how good it was and how loved he felt with Jay claiming him like that. The pleasure was still mixed with pain but Jensen didn't care, it just made it feel more real and he struggled to keep himself balanced with one hand while the other reached around to stroke over Jay's side. He could feel the muscles work under his fingers and each thrust made the soft fur on Jay's belly slide over his back.
Once more he could feel the orgasm start to build, but just when he thought that just a few more thrusts was all he needed he could feel something push against the rim of his ass, something even bigger than Jay's cock and it was only then that he remembered another part of what he had found on those pages, vivid images of a knot at the base of the dog's cock and he realized just what it was Jay was trying to push inside him.
"I'm not sure...god...will it even fit?"
Jay seemed to be very sure it would because the dog kept pushing it against him with rabbit-quick snaps of his hips and Jensen knew that his only choice was to try and relax. Even then he cried out when the knot pushed inside and he whimpered into the pillow when he felt it get even bigger, swelling inside him until it was pressing constantly against his sweet spot.
"Too much, Jesus fucking hell... too much..."
He wasn't sure if it was the size he was talking about, or the insane pleasure that exploded through him and at the first hot spurt of come deep inside him Jensen's orgsam tore through him, making him tremble and writhe on the bed, pushing back against the body behind him. Jay let out a rumbling bark, hips pushing forward a few more times and Jensen sobbed when the bulging knot tugged at his rim before Jay slowed down and stilled. He could still feel the dog shoot deep inside him, more come than Jensen had thought possible and he could already imagine it trickling out of him once the dog pulled free, wondered if Jay's warm tongue would clean him up.
His own cock was still hard, Jay's huge knot pushing unrelentingly against his prostate and Jensen had to bite down on his pillow to not scream loud enough to call the neighbors when a second orgasm was ripped from him, his whole body trembling as his legs gave way and he fell forward on the bed. Behind him, Jay followed the movement, crouching down between Jensen's spread legs to keep the knot buried inside Jensen and the new position was easier on Jensen even with Jay's body still on top of his, cock pulsing out more and more come until Jensen was sure he would be leaking Jay's come for a week.
"Yours now," Jensen mumbled, words slurred on his tongue. "Don't you... ever... leave me again..."
Jay's tongue slid over his back and neck and when Jensen twisted his head to the side he didn't hesitate to open his mouth and invite the dog for a kiss.
"So...perfect..." he mumbled against Jay's tongue, feeling it deep into his mouth and taste him.
He wasn't sure how long time had passed, Jay's cock still locked deep inside him, but he drifted off to sleep like that, Jay still licking his neck and huge cock and knot making it impossible for them to part. Jensen knew he was sick but to him, it was the perfect way to lose his virginity.
Jensen shifted in his sleep, pressing even closer to Jared and his breath warmed Jared's fur. The boy's trust in him was obvious and Jared didn't know what he had ever done to deserve it but he knew he couldn't allow himself to lose it again. Jensen wasn't Ryan, or his family and maybe the boy wouldn't leave.
The words were slurred, weighed down with sleep and Jensen's eyes were heavy-lidded, a yawn escaping his lips as he looked up at Jared.
"Thank you for coming back," Jensen whispered sleepily, stroking his hand through Jared's thick fur. "I just wish you could tell me why you left."
Jared knew it might be a bad idea, but he had no idea how to do it differently so he took a deep breath before he wriggled free from Jensen's grip and stood up on the bed, looking down at him. There was a glimmer of hurt in the boy's eyes when Jared pulled away but it was replaced with slack-jawed surprise as Jared allowed himself to shift from dog to human.
"What..." Jensen gasped and the next moment he scooted up the bed, away from Jared, until he was pressed up against the headboard with the sheet barely covering his naked limbs. "Oh, no..."
The small word cut through Jared like nothing Ryan had said had and even though he knew that the freak out should have been expected it didn't stop it from hurting.
"So," Jared said slowly. "I guess we should talk."
"Mr. Padalecki?" Jensen managed to get out, eyes going even wider.
"Uhm, yeah," Jared said, suddenly aware of the fact that he sat naked in a bed with a thirteen year-old boy.
Jensen's mouth opened and closed several times but no word came out and Jared was quite sure that wasn't a good sign, not at all.
"You...you..." Jensen said. "And I let you...I thought you were a...Oh god."
The boy's cheeks flushed redder than Jared had ever seen before, shame and guilt flickering across his features and when the boy shifted to the side, even further away from Jared, he winced and stared down at his own half-naked body. Even in his human form Jared realized that he could smell his own come trickling out Jensen's body and he knew the boy must feel it, must ache with the hard fucking Jared had given him.
"I'm... oh... I'm so sorry!"
Jared stared at the boy in front of him, not really able to understand the words or the sudden fear on the boy's face.
"Don't... please don't tell anyone," Jensen said. "I never meant to abuse you, I'm so so..."
Not stopping to think Jared moved forward, tugging Jensen forward and covering the boy's mouth with his own, swallowing down each word. Jensen tensed up, body going rigid and for a moment Jared thought he had done the wrong thing but as his tongue licked out, tracing the seam of the boy's lips, Jensen let out a soft gasp before he practically melted against Jared's body. Jared allowed himself to get lost in the kiss, his tongue sliding in between plush lips and the taste of Jensen was intoxicating. For all of Jensen's body that he had already tasted, it was different to actually kiss him, to have the boy's tongue tangle with his own and Jared didn't pull back until the need for air forced him to.
"Jensen," he said and the boy looked utterly surprised at Jared actually using his name. "Never think that you abused me."
"You're a... shifter?" Jensen asked, his body still pressed up against Jared, soft cotton of his shirt sliding against Jared's bare skin.
"I am," Jared admitted; that much was obvious, after all.
"I thought you were a dog," Jensen said, still sounding slightly stunned. "God... I thought you were a... and I let you..."
The boy's breathing picked up speed and Jared was quite sure he was already building up towards another little meltdown and Jared didn't want it, didn't think he could take it if Jensen pulled away again.
"You did," he agreed. "Never had anyone give themselves to me like that before, hottest thing I've ever seen."
Jensen's face flamed red again and he squeezed his eyes shut, but at least he didn't pull away from Jared again, his fingers gripping Jared's shoulders tightly.
"You left me," Jensen said quietly. "And you...at school... You never said a word and you left me!"
He should have known they would get back to that and Jared wrapped Jensen in his arms, lifting the boy up on his lap before he buried his face against Jensen's neck, breathing in the warm scent of him.
"I'm an ass," Jared said, lips dragging over soft skin. "I shouldn't have left you. I'm so fucking sorry I hurt you."
"You left...after I..." Jared could see the very second Jensen connected some things. "You left after I called you Jared in bed... Do you only want me when you're a dog?"
The very thought of not wanting Jensen seemed foreign to Jared and he held the boy close, one huge hand at the small of his back as Jared pulled back enough to look into bright green eyes.
"Trust me, I want you no matter what form I am in," Jared promised and rolled his hips up enough to make the hard length of his cock brush against Jensen's belly, obvious proof of just how much he wanted the boy.
Jensen pulled back slightly, looking at Jared with wide eyes but if Jared has expected the boy to look reassured he was sorely mistaken.
"You hate me," Jensen said, voice barely a whisper. "You hate everyone."
A few weeks earlier, his words would have been nothing but the truth but long hours spent with Jensen, the boy's unconditional love and soft touches slowly restoring Jared's sanity had changed him more than he himself had realized. The words stung, though and Jared pulled the boy back in, tilting his head until he could press another kiss to soft lips.
"I don't hate you," he said quietly. "Couldn't even if I wanted to. I was going... Let's just say that things weren't good for me until... you."
Jensen's lips moved against his, the boy clinging to him and his tongue finding its way into Jared's mouth and even though Jared knew they should talk more he couldn't stop himself from pushing Jensen down on the bed, covering the much smaller body with his own as he kissed Jensen deeply. He could feel the boy shiver beneath him and slender limbs came up to wrap around him, holding Jared close.
"Do you want me like this, Jensen?" Jared asked. "Do you want me, no matter my form? You said my name, that night when I..."
"The night before you left," Jensen said, gaze flickering away from Jared's.
"Hey," Jared said, kissing Jensen again. "I'm sorry about that, but damn, I thought I should keep my two sides apart. Thought you would never care about this version of me, that you could only love the dog me."
A small smile spread on Jensen's lips and the next second Jared found himself tugged down and Jensen kissed him again, his whole body pressing up against Jared and it was good, the soft body feeling amazing against his. Jared slid his hands down until he could tug Jensen's t-shirt off and he had to take a moment to just look at the slender body splayed out beneath him on the bed. Jensen's skin was flushed pink, making his freckles stand out even more but he didn't try to cover himself up, instead he looked up at Jared with wide eyes before he slowly let his legs part in what was nothing short of an invitation.
"Are you sure?" Jared asked, his cock already rock hard, the head slick with pre-come.
"Chris teases me about my crush on you," Jensen admitted. "I think...it's more than a crush."
Jared leaned back in, claiming Jensen's mouth in a deep kiss at the same time as he let his hands move over smooth skin, smiling when he felt Jensen shiver beneath him at the tender touches. He let his lips slide from the boy's soft mouth and down his throat and chest until he pressed a barely-there kiss against one small nipple. Jensen's back arched at the small touch and his hands came down to tangle in Jared's hair, pressing him down in a plea for more. Closing his mouth over the nipple once more, Jared sucked at the same time as he let one hand come up to play with the other nipple and Jensen let out a soft cry, whole body writhing beneath him and Jared was happy he was in human form so that he had hands to keep Jensen in place.
"You know," Jared breathed against soft skin when he let his lips slide down over Jensen's belly. "I don't think I really have to finger you open. I bet you're still wet from when I fucked you."
The pink on Jensen's cheeks turned red but his leg were still parted and when Jared dipped two fingers down to stroke over the boy's hole he found the skin slightly swollen and he had expected the boy to whine at the first touch but instead he tilted his hips up in an invitation and when Jared slid one finger inside he found the boy tight, soft and wet with dog-come. Jensen's moan was delicious and the boy's legs fell further apart, hips tilting up until Jared's finger brushed a spot inside Jensen that made him cry out in pleasure.
"Fucking sloppy," Jared groaned as he felt how wet Jensen was, muscle parting easily when he pushed a second finger inside. "You took my knot so good, still got my come inside you..."
Jensen's fingers came up to grab Jared's shoulder for a moment before his hand slid further up to tangle in Jared's hair, hard enough for it to almost hurt but Jared didn't care, couldn't care, not with the way Jensen felt around him and the way the boy looked. Jensen's lips were parted and his heavy breathing made his chest heave, skin flushed with arousal and it was a view that Jared wanted to preserve in his mind forever. Slowly he pulled his fingers out and he waited for Jensen's eyes to open and lock on him before he lifted them to his own mouth, sucking his own come from his fingers.
"Do it," Jensen pleaded. "Need you to... prove it to me. Show me that you want me, even like this."
Jared shifted, putting himself in a better position before he reached down to grab Jensen's legs and the boy willingly wrapped them around his waist when Jared leaned forward, balancing himself on one hand as he reached down to wrap the other hand around his hard cock and steer it to where Jensen was wet and open for him.
"Mine," Jared growled, snapping his hips forward and burying himself all the way inside Jensen's body.
"Jared... Jay..." Jensen cried out and Jared could feel him tense up around him.
It took all Jared had to keep still and allow the boy to adjust, even with having taken Jared's knot the night before Jensen was still impossibly tight around him and Jared leaned in to kiss the boy, distract him from the burn he must be feeling.
"I want you," Jared said and the words were enough to make Jensen relax. "Fuck, I want you so much."
He pulled back slowly and when he pushed himself back in, Jensen moaned and arched up into it, his legs gripping Jared's waist even tighter. Jared thought he had felt close to Jensen before, the boy's hands stroking through his fur or even when he fucked the boy in dog form but it was nothing compared to having Jensen's hands in his hair and the boy's lips brushing his as he moved slowly in and out of Jensen's body.
"So good," Jensen moaned. "More... Please, more..."
"Patience..." Jared managed to get out.
Every part of him wanted to fuck into the boy deep and hard but he forced himself to keep it almost painfully slow, taking great pleasure in the increasing pleading that fell from Jensen's lips each time his cock dragged against the boy's prostate. He reached up to cradle Jensen's head in one big hand, bringing the boy up into a deep kiss and only when Jensen's tongue was tangled with his own did he pick up speed, swallowing down Jensen's moan. A part of him thought he should take it easy, hold back, but despite Jensen's much smaller frame the boy seemed to take everything Jared could give and plead for more.
"Jesus," Jared gasped, snapping his hips forward hard enough to push Jensen up an inch on the bed. "How are you for real?"
Jensen didn't answer, but he fumbled one hand down between their bodies and he wrapped it around his cock for a second before Jared gripped it and pulled it away.
"What? No," Jensen whined desperately. "C'mon, Jared. Please, please. Need to...have to..."
"No," Jared growled and captured Jensen's lips in an almost brutal kiss. "Just like this, know you can do it. Can come from just my cock inside you. You did before, baby. Just from my knot inside you, from me tying us together and filling you up. Do it, Jensen."
Jensen's eyes were almost black his pupils were so dilated but he didn't look away from Jared and when Jared pushed into Jensen one more time the boy's muscles locked down around him and he felt the wet heat of come between them as Jensen came, cock untouched. If Jared thought Jensen had been tight before it was nothing compared to the incredible squeeze of the boy falling apart around him; he had thought he would be able to hold out longer but when Jensen cried out his name, nails dragging marks over Jared's shoulders, there was no way for him to hold back and he came hard. He stilled, cock buried all the way inside Jensen and he could feel his own come around his cock, knew it was mixing in with the dog come he had filled the boy up with before and the thought was hot enough to push his orgasm even further, pleasure like nothing he had ever experienced before.
"So you're awake."
The voice was a low rumble in his ear and Jensen shifted around until he could face Jared, looking into the multicolored eyes that he had spent too many school hours dreaming about. It was a lot to take in but whatever thoughts were swirling around in his mind were swept away when Jared pulled him in for the softest kiss they had ever shared.
"Hey," Jensen said, unable to keep back his smile when Jared pulled away.
"I guess we have a lot to talk about," Jared said.
Even though the words sounded ominous, Jared was still holding him close and that kept Jensen's worry at bay for the moment; he still wasn't sure it was a discussion he really wanted to have, though.
"About what?" he asked carefully.
"How to work things out," Jared said, leaning in for another brush of lips. "So that I can spend the most amount of time possible with you. You're good for me."
The last of Jensen's fears and worries drained away at those words and he wrapped his arms around Jared's neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss. He was sure the kissing would have gone on for quite some time if not for the sound of a car outside the front of the house. Jensen sat bolt upright; he hadn't realized it was already time for his mother to return home from work and he was grateful that at least they both were awake. When he looked over at Jared he was met with dark brown eyes and soft fur and Jared leaned in to lick a stripe over Jensen's cheek before he easily jumped down he bed.
"Good call," Jensen said with a quick grin before he got off and fumbled for clothes.
A quick look at the bed told him what a mess it was and he blushed slightly before he threw the cover over it to try and hide the most obvious stains; the knowledge that it was both human and dog come staining the sheets did nothing to chase the blush away. When he pulled his jeans back on he couldn't help but wince at the ache in his ass but it wasn't enough to fully chase away the smile on his lips. He had his Jay back with him, his crush wanted him and he wasn't a virgin anymore; overall it was a pretty good day.
The front door slamming was enough for Jensen to practically leap up off the couch, startling Jared where he had been dozing off with Jensen's hands stroking through his fur. Jensen had thought it would be weird to have Jared in his dog form when he knew what was hiding inside but instead it was even better and Jensen found himself whispering words in Jared's ear even though he knew the dog couldn't respond right then. That was he had been doing before sleep had started pulling him and Jared under, until the front door made him wide awake. With his mother in the small kitchen preparing dinner, it was only one person it could be.
"Dad!" Jensen called out and the next moment his father came into the living room, travelling bag still in hand. "Look who's back!"
His father looked from Jensen and down to where Jared had placed himself neatly at Jensen's feet, every inch the perfect dog and Jensen smiled widely down at the dog. At first his father looked stunned but then he laughed and some of the tiredness seemed to drain off him.
"Well hey there, Jay," he said and walked over to brush one hand through Jensen's hair before kneeling in front of Jared. "You sure made my son upset disappearing like that, how about sticking around in the future?"
Jared's loud bark rang out in the small house, making Jensen's father laugh again before he got back up and walked into the kitchen and Jensen looked down at Jared.
"Creepy smart dog," he mumbled low enough for only Jared to hear.
Jared only waved his tail before he ducked around Jensen and made his way to the kitchen, Jensen could understand why when he followed after his dog and found Jared being petted by both his parents, tail moving quickly back and forth and Jensen smiled so wide it hurt. It wasn't often his family was gathered for dinner like that, and having Jared there as well made it even better.
"Sit down, you two," Jensen's mom said and got up to wash her hands. "Dinner is just about ready."
When Jensen sat down Jared padded over and rested his head on Jensen's lap; for a moment he thought his parents would insist on the dog not being there but it was so obviously not begging, instead he simply seemed happy to be close to Jensen and neither said a word as they settled down for dinner.
"How was the trip?" Donna asked, passing the bowl of mashed potatoes over to Jensen.
"Most likely useless," Alan said with a sigh. "That town... the store is going well and all, but I hope they never send me back."
That had Jensen forgetting about his food, hungry as he was, and he looked over to his dad in time to see his father drag one hand through his hair with another deep sigh.
"Why do you say that, dad?" he asked.
"Apparently something happened about a year ago there, and people were still talking about it," Alan explained in a tired voice. "I'm not sure about all the details but it sounded like they pretty much chased a shifter out of town, and they were proud of it."
Jensen looked down at Jared who had suddenly gone absolutely still, tail tucked close to his body and in that moment Jensen realized how little he did know about shifters because he didn't fully understand why his father sounded so horrified at the thought or why his mother gasped with shock.
"What about...his family?" Donna asked.
"They were still there," Alan said through gritted teeth. "No one had a harsh word to say about them. Like it was something good they had done."
"I don't understand," Jensen said, his hand stroking soothingly through Jared's fur.
Alan pushed the food on his plate around, mashed potatoes mixing with the gravy, before he put the fork back down.
"Look, I'm not sure you've studied shifters in school yet, or that you ever will considering we haven't had one in town for so many years, but shifters are dependant on family. They need the human touch, the comfort, to keep the human side in balance with their animal. If they don't get it they'll go insane and they'll... Either they die, or they get stuck in their animal form for good, lose every trace of humanity."
Jensen felt tears burn in his eyes at the very thought of something like that happening, but then he realized something and he stared down at Jared in shock. Because if Jared was either in school or with Jensen, then he had no family and a lot of things started to fit themselves together in his mind. Jared let out a low whine before he pulled away from Jensen and walked out of the room, tail tucked between his legs and Jensen had no idea how to comfort him without alerting his parents to some things he wasn't yet ready to explain. Neither of them had noticed though, both too wrapped up in the discussion about shifters, both obviously upset about how the shifter had been treated.
Jensen was sure the food was good; his mother was a wonderful cook even with the limited resources they usually had but with the newfound knowledge a heavy weight in his belly he couldn't really taste it and he excused himself much faster than he usually would.
"Jay?" he whispered when he went into his room, carefully closing and locking the door behind him.
Jared lay on his bed, wrapped in around himself as best as a dog his size could and Jensen didn't hesitate to get up on the bed and wrap his arms around the dog, pressing a chaste kiss between soft ears.
"Was that your family?" he asked quietly. "Is that where you came from?"
For a moment Jared didn't move but the he nodded, a barely-there movement that Jensen wouldn't have felt if not for them being pressed so close together.
"Oh, god, Jared," he whimpered. "I'm so sorry. Please say I'm helping, I can't stand the thought of you... You can't die. You just can't. Please. I'm your family now, I'll be the best family you can imagine."
Jared shifted into his human form, body expanding enough for Jensen to almost fall off the bed before Jared sid strong arms around him and pulled him in close.
"You already are," he said and kissed Jensen. "I know I was an ass to you, and I hurt you when I left but Jensen... You're amazing. Being here with you, it makes me happy. It makes me whole again."
"Maybe we can tell them?" Jensen suggested. "Maybe they'd be okay with it."
A low laugh rumbled through Jared and he rolled them until Jensen was sprawled out on top of him and Jared's big hands slid down to cup his ass, pushing into the back pockets of his jeans.
"I'm quite sure they wouldn't be okay with me fucking their son," Jared pointed out. "That's still the part I'm having a damn hard time wrapping my mind around, after all."
Jensen moaned and rocked his hips down, rubbing his rapidly hardening cock against Jared's belly.
"We could...leave that part out. Oh, god, Jay..."
"Baby, we can't," Jared said in between heated kisses. "Your parents are still up, they could hear..."
Jensen knew he was right but he didn't like it. He wanted to feel Jared inside him again, feel the perfect connection between them. Somehow he knew it would be even better when he knew that he was Jared's family, how much it must have meant for Jared to reveal himself to Jensen.
He slid down Jared's naked body, tracing the outlines of hard muscles with his tongue and he could feel Jared shiver beneath him, muscles rippling with his strain to keep still and silent.
"Jensen, what are you... oh..."
Flashing Jared a quick smile, Jensen leaned down to lick a stripe up Jared's cock, from the base up to the head where pre-come was already wetting the skin. The taste of him filled Jensen's mouth and even though he didn't know what he was doing, how to make it good for Jared, he knew that he wanted to and he wrapped one hand around the shaft to keep Jared where he wanted him.
One hand slid into his hair and Jensen moaned at the soft touch. Jared didn't push him down or pull him away, just held there when Jensen carefully wrapped his lips around the head of Jared's dick, pressing his tongue into the slit to gather the salty droplets there.
"Fuck," Jared groaned before he lifted his other hand and pressed his fist against his mouth to keep quiet.
Up close like that Jared's cock looked impossibly big and Jensen couldn't really understand how it had fit inside him, even more so considering the big knot that Jared sported in his other form, but the very thought of it sent a shot of pure arousal through Jensen. He couldn't take much of Jared's cock in his mouth without choking on it but he used his hand to stroke the inches he couldn't fit inside him, tongue flicking over the head before he let it circle around. He smiled around the hardness filling his mouth when Jared's let out a muffled cry as Jensen's tongue brushed the sensitive spot where head met shaft and he was rewarded with another pulse of pre-come. Jensen knew he would soon get addicted to the taste of Jared, to the feel of him on his tongue.
"You're too good to be true," Jared mumbled, almost too quiet for Jensen to hear. "So good..."
The praise made Jensen want to smile again but instead he sealed his lips around the head and sucked hard, one hand stroking Jared's cock and his hand moved easier as pre-come and spit leaked down the shaft. He let his other hand stroke down over Jared's balls, rolling them between his fingers for just a second before Jared cursed low and bit his teeth together, his whole body shaking when he came into Jensen's mouth. It was too much to swallow it all but Jensen did what best he could and when Jared stopped shooting into his mouth, Jensen started licking whatever come he hadn't managed to get at first.
"You're amazing," Jared said, sounding slightly breathless. "C'mere."
He pulled Jensen up for a kiss, licking his own taste from Jensen's lips at the same time as he managed to get Jensen's jeans open and one huge hand wrapped around Jensen's dick. The touch was just what Jensen needed and it was over embarrassingly quick, his moans muffled by Jared's lips on his and the man's tongue in his mouth.
"I still think we should tell them," Jensen said when he collapsed down on the bed next to Jared, hoping his parents were too busy to have heard anything.
"Maybe," Jared said. "Some day. We'll see."
The forest was dark around him and Jensen knew he never would have dared to walk there if not for Jared by his side, he was slightly surprised by how much time the man wanted to spend in his dog form but if the shifter lore was right, Jared most likely needed it.
"Chris says I'm looking happier now," he informed Jared. "But he says my pathetic crush on my teacher needs to go away."
Jared huffed out a sound that Jensen was quite sure was the dog version of a laugh.
"I know," he said with a grin. "But, it's not like I can explain it to him. Or like I want to. Some things are just between us, you know."
They reached the place where a small stream cut through the path, water frozen over and just a few rocks peaked up through the ice. Jared easily jumped the entire stretch of it, landing on sure feet on the other side before he turned around and grinned at Jensen.
"Showoff," Jensen muttered.
It was a path they took almost every evening, a time of day that Jensen liked to think about as Jay time since it was when Jared let the dog take over completely and it was just Jensen and his dog out for a walk. Or would be if not for the fact that once they got home and lay tangled together in bed, Jensen knew that Jared would want to talk about whatever Jensen had been talking about during their walk. It worked for them both and maybe Jensen needed the dog time just as much as Jared did. His mind whirling with thoughts led him to not fully keep track of where he was going and one small misstep was all it took before the ice cracked beneath his feet and Jensen went down.
Pain shot through his leg sharp enough to make him scream and the next second Jared was there beside him, in dog form for just a moment before he shifted to human and stood naked on the frozen bank of the stream.
"What the... Fuck, Jensen, are you okay?"
Jensen shook his head because he was sure that if he opened his mouth again, he would scream. A quick look down his body told him just what was wrong because when the ice had shifted, his foot had gotten stuck and was now bent in an angle that Jensen knew wasn't natural. He sobbed when Jared's strong arms carefully lifted him up and he couldn't stop another cry in pain when his foot came free.
"Jay, you can't... you'll freeze," Jensen got out between sobs.
"Don't be stupid," Jared said quickly. "I can't leave you here, we need to get you back to the house and then to a hospital."
Jared could easily carry Jensen in his arms and his bare feet were almost soundless as he walked them through the forest and back towards the house. Each step he took was pure pain for Jensen; even though Jared tried to keep his foot from being jostled but every little shift was enough for Jensen to sob in pain and he hid his face against Jared's neck to muffle the sound.
"I got you," Jared said softly, lips brushing his hair. "And these evening walks in the forest? Never again Jensen. I just found you, I'm not losing you and I can't... Fuck. I hate seeing you in pain, I'm so sorry, baby."
"Not...your...fault..." Jensen managed to get out.
Jared walked in silence but Jensen could feel slight shivers running through the man and he wasn't surprised, not when the ground was still frozen and it was mere days since the last snowfall but Jared didn't complain, just held Jensen closer like he wanted to soak up his heat.
"There, I see the house," Jared said and Jensen breathed out a deep sigh of relief.
"Jay, what if someone sees you?" he asked when the lights came closer. "You're..."
Jared just shushed him but Jensen could tell that the man was trying to close in on the house at an angle that would keep him out of sight for the rest of the houses. For a moment Jensen thought Jared would drop him when he attempted to get the door open but the man's grip on him held steady and soon Jensen was placed down on the couch as Jared walked to Jensen's room.
"Where are you going?" Jensen asked.
"Clothes," Jared said. "I hid some extra in your closet. Can't take you to the hospital like this, after all."
"You can't take me to the hospital at all," Jensen called out after him. "What will they say? What..."
Jared came back into the room dressed in jeans and a long sleeved shirt and he didn't hesitate before he walked over to call for an ambulance, ignoring Jensen's protests.
"Look," he said when he put the phone down. "Do you really want me to let you go there alone?"
Jensen thought of that, of riding in the ambulance all by himself and he knew how very worried Jared would be for him as well and he shook his head. He was in pain and he wanted Jared with him every step of the way.
"My mom works tonight," he said, knowing full well that Jared knew that as well. "She'll ask questions. I don't want to get you in trouble."
Jared sat down on the couch next to Jensen, careful not to hurt him and he leaned in to kiss Jensen, tongues tangling until Jensen was too focused on the slick slide of lips to really think about the pain anymore and Jared didn't pull back until they heard the ambulance pull into a stop outside.
"If that's what it takes to keep you safe," Jared said."We'll deal with whatever questions come. Right now I just want you to not be in pain anymore."
The next hour was an onslaught of feelings, pain and confusion as he was whisked into the ambulance and taken to the hospital. He tried to keep Jared at his side for as long as possible but when the gurney he was on was pushed into the operating room he had no choice but to let go of the man's hand and he didn't care about the tears falling down his cheeks. At least someone had informed his mother because Donna came in, pink scrubs slightly wrinkled and she wrapped Jensen in a tight hug.
"Jensen, what happened, how are you darling?" she said, stream of comforting words that did nothing to distract Jensen from the the intense pain of the doctor set the leg correctly.
"Mom," he mumbled, mind being tugged down by painkillers. "Where's Jared?"
He could feel his mother tense up and pull away from him, looking down at him and for a moment Jensen thought that maybe he had called the man Jay by mistake but it was soon obvious that hadn't been the case.
"Honey, did he hurt you? You can tell me, why was he the one bringing you in?"
"No, mom, no," Jensen got out, he tried to sit up but the drugs were really starting to set in. "He didn't... I was out with Jay and I fell. Not Jared's... please. Don't... He would never..."
The words that came out were slurred and he wasn't sure his mother understood what he wanted to say but his eyes drifted shut no matter how much he tried to keep them open.
Jensen didn't hear if she answered but at least the pain faded away, replaced by blurry edges and a softness that rose up and pulled him under.
Jensen knew it was only a matter of time until the questions came; he had been home from the hospital for a full day and he had yet to be able to spend time with Jared because his parents were there all the time, hovering over him even though he knew they couldn't really afford to stay home from work.
Jay lay at his feet on the bed, ever so careful to not jostle the plastered leg but even when Jensen's parents were out of the room he refused to change and Jensen didn't know what to make of it; the need to actually talk to Jared was starting to get to him.
"They will ask me about you," Jensen said, looking down at the dog. "And I have no idea what to say. How can I explain it to them. I have to tell them..."
"Jensen, who are you talking to? What do you have to tell us?"
His mother words reached him the second before the door was open and both his parents stood in the doorway, confusion obvious on their faces as they looked around the room. Jensen jumped slightly and winced when the movement sent a bolt of pain up from his leg.
"Jensen... we need to talk," Alan said as he walked into the room.
Even though Jensen had expected it, the words made a hard knot settle in his belly and he scooted up the bed until he was sitting with his back against the wall, Jared a comfortable weight against his uninjured leg.
"You need to explain to us what that man was doing bringing you to the hospital," Donna said softly and sat down on Jensen's desk chair. "Don't get me wrong, we're happy that he did but...we don't understand why."
"We know he's your teacher," Alan said. "But...we're worried for you."
Jensen looked down at Jared, not sure what he should say but then Jared gave the smallest of nods and nudged Jensen's hand with his nose.
"You don't need to be," Jensen said without taking his eyes off Jared. "He would never hurt me."
"You've said that but Jensen, he's a lot older than you and...we don't understand it. How did he know you were in the woods?" Donna said, pulling the chair closer.
"He was...there with me," Jensen said, looking over to his parents to see their reactions.
Donna's mouth fell open and Jensen's father stepped up behind her and rested one hand on her shoulder but Jensen didn't know if it was her or himself he tried to comfort.
"You were...out in the woods...with your teacher?" Alan said and his voice sounded harder than Jensen had ever heard it before.
"Not like that," Jensen rushed to explain. "It's no... Dad... you remember what you told us about that shifter from the other town? How shifters can't...how they need..."
"Family," his father filled in when Jensen couldn't find the words. "I don't understand what..."
"Jared is that shifter," Jensen said, words tumbling over his lips. "I can't... he's hurting, he needs me and I don't... I can't... He's family."
He could see the emotion flicker over his parents faces, the shock and surprise there but also something else, something he hoped would transform into understanding. Jared lay perfectly still beside him and Jensen wasn't even sure the dog was breathing, both of them waiting for whatever the reaction would be.
"He's...family?" Jensen's father said with a frown.
Donna was the first one to understand it and Jensen could see the very moment it happened, her gaze falling from Jensen to where Jared was pressed close to him and Jared seemed to feel it as well because he looked up at Donna with the most pleading look Jensen had ever seen.
"Oh god," Donna said weakly.
His father looked down at her, tracing her gaze over to Jared and his eyes grew wide when realization hit him as well.
"He's family," Jensen said quietly. "And he saved me. He knew he would be risking everything and he still saved me..."
"Jensen..." his father started.
"No. You have to understand...without me, without us he will die."
Jared jumped down off the bed and walked out the room and Jensen tried to reach out for him, tug him back but the dog was much too fast. He just hoped that Jared was doing what Jensen thought he was doing. He was proven right the next moment when Jared walked back into the room dressed in worn jeans and a t-shirt, feet bare against the linoleum floor.
"You're...human..." Donna gasped, staring up at Jared.
"Technically not," Jared said slowly and leaned against the doorframe. "I'm a shapeshifter. And...your son was right, I'm the shifter you heard about on that trip."
"Your family..." Alan said. "Why?"
Up until that moment Jensen hadn't really expected Jared to explain but the man sighed, shoulders slumping and he sagged down on the floor, back against the wall and his face buried in his hands.
"It was the town's centennial," Jared said without looking up. "And me and Ryan were down at the marketplace. We weren't out or anything but we had been talking about moving in together. Until some of my students caught us kissing. Then Ryan couldn't leave fast enough, my job fired me and my family didn't want anything to do with me."
Tears fell down Jensen's cheeks at the quick summary Jared gave them, he knew how much it must cost him to tell them and he knew that the only reason Jared did tell was for Jensen.
"I came here and...things were bad. Very bad. And I knew I had to get a family or... I wouldn't make it. So Chad, the guy at the shelter, talked me into this and... I never meant to lie to you but I had to. This family...the way you accepted me. It made things bearable again. And when Jensen...figured it out, I thought that maybe I could have it all. But it's my fault he got hurt, I'm sorry and I should..."
Jensen opened his mouth to protest but to his surprise his father did it before he could.
"It's not your fault," he said firmly. "If we had gotten another dog, Jensen would still have been walking that path...would most likely have fallen but no one would have brought him to the hospital. And we were both working, no one would have..."
The words faltered but Jensen knew what his father wanted to say because the doctors had already told him, that night had been one of the coldest of the winter and had not Jared been there to take him home, Jensen wouldn't have made it.
"You're still teaching?" Donna asked, voice still sounding slightly strained.
"Yes," Jared said, looking up at them. "I... it might not compare to my old job but, I love teaching. And with a family I've... I'm me again. I can enjoy it again."
Jensen's mother turned in the chair, looking up at his dad and he was sure he could see an entire discussion in the way they looked at each other. Hope sparked in him when Alan nodded and walked over to kneel beside Jared.
"Jay...uhm...Jared," he said hesitantly. "You have an apartment, right?"
"I do," Jared said. "I will... right. I should go there and..."
"Pack your things," Alan interrupted.
"What? No!" Jensen protested and tried to get out of the bed, not caring about the pain in his leg.
Jared was by his side in a second, holding him in place and making sure he couldn't hurt himself.
"It will be okay," Jared said softly. "I'm...your parents are right I shouldn't... I should be in my apartment. I don't belong with..."
He fell silent when Alan stood up and put an arm on his shoulder in a weird imitation of the comforting gesture he had shown his wife earlier and Jared turned to look up at him.
"I meant that you should pack your things and come here," Alan said firmly. "Jensen is right, you're family and you should be with us. We don't have much to offer but you saved our son's life and we will always owe you for that. Please, come live with us. Keep him safe when we can't."
"Not sure we could offer much better sleeping arrangements," Donna cut in. "But...if you're prepared to be in your dog form at night there will always be space for you here."
She reached out, her hand hovering in the air for a moment before she closed the distance and ran her fingers through Jared's hair, just like she had done so often with Jay. Jensen smiled so wide it hurt and when Jared just sat there, staring between Jensen's parents, he pushed in closer and wrapped his arms around the man's neck. Jared let out a deep sigh, eyes fluttering shut and Jensen could see tears cling to his eyelashes before he blinked them away and wrapped Jensen in a tight hug.
He knew it would still be hard, they had things that Jensen really wasn't prepared to tell his family after all, but Jared was family and that was more than he could ever have dreamt of.
Outside of the door the school life was loud, cutting in through Jared's concentration and he sighed as he forced himself to continue to read the essay he had been grading, but it wasn't easy and only made worse by the fact that it was bad. Actually it was quite terrible and Jared caught himself longing for the private school of his old life where the students had wanted to do well.
The door slammed open and students started filling up the classroom, doing nothing for Jared's concentration but he tried to keep his eyes on the paper in front of him until the warm scent of Jensen cut through his focus and he looked up. Jensen had stopped right inside the door, gaze locked on Jared and there was a small frown on his face. For some reason, the obvious worry on the boy's face made Jared grit his teeth together and he tore his gaze away, focusing back on the paper on the desk while the class settled down. A boy with a broken foot shouldn't have to comfort a grown man and his own weakness annoyed him. Even with the sounds of the students around he could hear Christian Kane whisper something to Jensen even if he couldn't hear the words and the closeness of the boys made jealousy rise inside him and he pushed the paper aside and stood up.
"Mr. Kane," he said and focused his gaze on the boy. "Got anything to share with the class?"
In the corner of his eye he could see Jensen move but he didn't look over at him; instead he turned his back on the class and started writing on the whiteboard.
"So if you all could focus on today's assignment and not on gossip..."
"Can I come in, Mr. Padalecki?"
Jared looked up from where he had been reading through another essay, too focused on his work to even have noticed the scent of Jensen stepping inside the classroom. The tone of his voice let Jared know just how annoyed the boy was and Jensen was pushing the door close behind him, flicking the lock, before Jared had time to say anything. Jensen was already used enough to his crutches that he could move around with them quite easily, but it still took him some work to maneuver his way between the desks.
"Mr. Padalecki?" he said with a raised eyebrow.
"How are you, Jared?" Jensen asked softly and Jared felt his hackles rise once more.
"I'm okay. You don't need to..."
"I know I don't need to," Jensen interrupted but there was hurt in his voice. "I just know you haven't had Jay time for a while, with the move and the teacher-parent meetings and..I just thought that maybe you wanted..."
Jensen fell silent but he kept closing the distance between them until he was standing right next to Jared and he could feel the warm scent of him all around as Jensen leaned the crutches against the desk. The boy's words made him realize just how much he had missed hours spent curled at Jensen's feet, soft fingers through his fur and the sense of family and home surrounding him.
"I was an ass," Jared sighed. "Again."
"Yeah, you really were," Jensen agreed. "But you always were, so..."
Jared smiled bitterly at that, knowing full well what his students thought of him but he didn't really care about that. The only person whose opinion he really cared about was standing beside him and Jared reached out to grab Jensen and pull him into a tight hug.
"It's your job to keep me sane," he mumbled against Jensen's neck.
"Always," Jensen said. "Now, get undressed and change already."
"Jensen," Jared protested. "I can't, what if someone comes?"
"You need it," Jensen pointed out. "The door is locked and it's lunch time, no one will be in this part of school. Jared, I need you to do this, for me. Please?"
Jared knew it was probably a bad idea, but he still lifted Jensen up and carried him into the small storage area in the back of the classroom, giving them what little privacy he could. Carefully he sat the boy down on the floor before he pulled his clothes off and let his body shift. He hadn't been dog for more than a second before Jensen's fingers reached out to stroke over his soft ears and Jared pressed up close to him. When he had been in his human form he hadn't really been aware of the tension building up inside him, but he was very much aware of it draining away as Jensen leaned in a pressed a kiss to the side of his muzzle.
At that moment Jared was itching to press Jensen down on the floor and lick all over him, get the taste he hadn't felt on his tongue since before the night in the woods but there were some things he just couldn't do while still at the school. All he had to do was let Jensen keep him together until they got home.
That night would be the first one officially living with the Ackles; although he had put Chad's address as his own to keep questions away. He longed to get home to his family and once the boy's parents were asleep Jared had every plan to push Jensen down and lick him open, filling him up with both human and canine cock until Jensen would smell like him for days to come.
- The End -