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This isn't Twilight Hide!

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About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him - and I didn't know how potent that part might be - that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
--- Bella Swan








“Put your shirt back on, Hide.”


Kaneki rubbed a hand over his face and purposefully sighed loudly. He reached over to the other side of the couch he was currently on, and snatched the remote to pause the movie.


Kaneki gave the half-naked man a glare, “Hide. Are you being serious?”

Hide pouted, glaring straight back at Kaneki, “Whaaat? I’m just copying them.” He gestured to the T.V screen.

“Why? Those fictional characters are misrepresentative, plus you’re being really distractive.” Kaneki said dryly. Hide mock gasped in shock.

“How dare you! Jacob is my spirit animal.”

“What the- OK.” Kaneki knew there was no point in arguing with Hide about this. They had already had this conversation about fifty times throughout the movie. He only wished that Hinami never mentioned this god awful movie to Hide.

As soon as Kaneki surrendered, Hide jumped to un-pause the movie, but this required him leaning right over Kaneki’s laying position on the couch, naked chest and all.

Kaneki found it completely unfair when he felt the hot breaths brushing his bangs and he thought Hide was taking suspiciously long to find the remote, which was conveniently just out of reach.

Kaneki groaned out loud. “You could just get up and reach it instead of being lazy, you know?”

“Where’s the fun in that? I can’t be bothered to and I rather like this position anyway.” A smug grin grew onto his face and Kaneki shook his head in annoyance.

“Just hurry up. I thought you wanted to watch the movie?”

Hide hummed and Kaneki heard what sounded like something dropping on the floor.

“Hide that better not have be what I think it is.”

“It seems like the remote dropped on the floor. What a damn shame. I’m going to have to just,” Hide lowered himself, strong arms on either side of Kaneki, so that he was almost completely covering him. “Lean down and get it.”

Kaneki’s eyes had nowhere to go. He was trapped underneath the other and no matter what he did he couldn’t escape those intense brown eyes.

Hide's hands wandered down Kaneki’s side and his nose sniffed up and down his neck possessively. Kaneki shivered at every touch and didn’t care that his cheeks were flushed any more. He just wanted Hide to stop with the god damn teasing.

“Kaneki,” Hide whispered sultrily against his lips. Kaneki whimpered desperately grabbing onto Hide’s shoulders. “You’re... the Bella Swan to my Jacob Black.”





HIDE!” Kaneki pushed Hide off himself, consequently causing Hide to fall off the couch entirely.

“Ow!” Hide landed on the floor with thump. “I was trying to be romantic. I thought you loved that kind of stuff?”

“Don’t use Twilight for romantic gestures. Ever.” Kaneki huffed, folding his arms across his stomach. “Bella ends up with Edward anyway.”

“Oi! Are you trying to say something about our relationship?” Hide shouted, offended.


“Kaneki!” Although Hide sounded like he was moaning, Kaneki saw the grin on his face. The large canine fangs in his mouth were on full display, shining brilliantly. Kaneki couldn’t help but give a smile of his own in response. “I got the remote at least.” Hide held said object up in the air proudly.

“I’m not really in the mood to watch stupid movies anymore.”

“What! This movie is so relatable.”

“Hide, I know for a fact that you don’t always walk around half-naked like that. You don’t shift like Jacob either.”

Hide narrowed his eyes, “B-But we’re both werewolves. Hot werewolves.”

Kaneki covered his face with his hands. “Oh my god.”

“You can’t deny it. Ever since my hair grew longer and I started going out for runs every day, you’ve been perving on me way more.”

Kaneki couldn’t deny it. Hide has always been attractive since he was young, but now his face has become more angular and he had grown lean muscles and Kaneki struggled to breathe around him.

However Kaneki would never want to boost Hide’s, already large, ego by telling him that, so only snorted and turned his head away.

“Shut up.”

Hide chuckled, “Real mature ‘Neks. Such maturity.” Kaneki rolled his eyes. “So… If you’re not in the mood for a movie, what are you in the mood for?”

Kaneki caught the wiggle of eyebrows and threw his pillow at Hide. “I’m in the mood for not speaking to you.”

“Ow, that’s harsh. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Kaneki didn’t trust his mouth so ignored him and got up to move into the bedroom. When he didn’t hear footsteps coming up behind him he thought he could finally relax, but suddenly his world was turned sideways when someone picked him up bridal style.

“Hide! Stop doing that.” He really didn't need this in his life right now.

Hide hugged Kaneki’s body close to himself. “But, this is how a man treats his wife.”

Forget his face, Kaneki’s whole body burned in embarrassment. “I’m not your wife.” he mumbled.

“But, I love Kaneki!” Hide leaned down to rub his nose against Kaneki’s.

“I love you too, Hide.” Kaneki met Hide’s kiss halfway and shrieked when Hide ran as fast as he could to the bedroom with Kaneki in his arms.

Kaneki thinks that he wouldn't mind being Hide's wife.