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Milestones

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Age 1 month: Lifts head, responds to sound, stares at faces.

Sean is in his office, on the phone, when he sees the flash of blonde hair by Nick's desk. Adalind. Adalind and the baby. There is a stir amongst the detectives and he can see people moving towards Nick's desk, handshakes, admiration. He's not sure why Nick should be congratulated. At least when Adalind slept with him, conceived Diana, at least then he gave his consent. He knows he was manipulated by Adalind, knows she deliberately took advantage of him whilst he was under the spell that made him desire Juliette - all that lust, love, confusion whatever the hell it was - but in that moment he wanted it, wanted her. It doesn't compare to what she did to Nick.

The baby is being passed around and Wu is holding him now, a small white bundle, a suggestion of dark hair. Sean thinks back to those few times he held Diana. He hadn't anticipated the power of that, the feel of the baby in his arms, her looking up at him, the knowledge that this tiny creature was something of his, he was part of her. There had even been that brief moment when he'd thought he could be a family with Adalind and their daughter. He does understand why Nick is being swept along by this. He doesn't understand why it bothers him so much.

Sean is making noises of agreement but he's barely listening to the speaker at the other end of the phone. He usually tries to finish conversations with this particular politician as soon as possible but he's happy to let him talk now. He doesn't want to have to go out there. He doesn't want to shake Nick's hand, admire the baby. Definitely doesn't want to have to hold the baby. Doesn't want to be anywhere near Adalind. He knows it's ridiculous - the things they've faced recently, the events of the last weeks, months, even years, all the times he pretends feelings he doesn't have, conceals the ones he does: how can one small child have him hiding in his office?

He knows that Nick has been the subject of a lot of gossip. Only been back at work a short time and now he's here, with a woman they don't recognise (and many of them knew Juliette, not well but in that way they do know the husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends of the other detectives) and a baby. He knows the fact he isn't out there might be seen as a sign of something. He still can't do it.

Nick looks towards the office and their eyes meet, hold. Sean has a phone with a dead line to his ear now, no one on the other end. Sean has never been a man to refuse to face the dangers of his life but he just can't make himself leave this office. After a very long moment Nick turns away.

Adalind doesn't look towards him. She's laughing, maybe even flirting a little with the detectives around her. Just another pretty girl, he thinks. How wrong he was and how much he regrets that comment.

When Adalind leaves he finally puts the receiver down. Goes to turn the blinds - the signal that Captain Renard must not be disturbed - sits back at his desk. Just sits. He doesn't know why it hurts, just that it does.