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maybe stars know why we fall

Summary:

Taehyung owns a little café with his best friend Jimin and the time stops when he sees Hoseok's smile.

Kind of/a little bit coffee shop AU

Notes:

This is the second part (not sequel) of my series "tell me are you mine?" and while the first installment is about yoonmin, this is all vhope and their story in the setting. You don't have to read the first part to understand this one, but I would still appreciate it a lot!
This came out way longer than I expected whoopsie so I split it into two parts. I will post the second part in a few days! (It's already finished)

I hope you enjoy it! The title is taken from Thousand Mile Wish by Finger Eleven which you should def listen to!

Chapter Text

Taehyung had always loved to sing. It had already started when he had been a small boy and serenaded for his mother while she happily listened lying in bed. She had said that his voice made her happy, made her feel better and even though he had been really young, he was already smart enough to understand that his mother was really sick.

Actually, Taehyung couldn’t even remember the time when his mother was not in the hospital and his visits after school were a constant thing in his childhood. He knew that she was very sick, so if his voice made her feel better, maybe even less sick, then he would sing for her until his lungs gave out.

However, in the end it had been her lungs to give in first. He wouldn’t ever forget, he had been nine when it happened, and he had been singing his newest favorite song and suddenly she had started to cough and she couldn’t stop and there were tears streaming down her face and then there was blood coming out of her mouth. He was ushered outside by two nurses that had ran inside and that had been the last time Taehyung had seen his mother.

After that he started to hate singing. His voice did nothing, it couldn’t really make his mother feel better and make her less sick at all, so for a whole year after his mother’s death Taehyung didn’t even talk at all. His grandparents – he was living with them now, his father an unknown figure to him – were worried and sent him to doctors who all said that it was psychological and that he’d have to get over his grief and the shock. But it took time and it was hard for the little boy. He always clamped up when he heard the songs he used to sing in that depressing hospital room, having attacks that left him choking and crying until he fell asleep from exhaustion.

It took him one year to start talking again.

His grandparents owned a small hotel in Daegu, a bit on the outside and away from the buzzing center of the big city. Taehyung usual hung around in the lobby behind the reception and played with his gameboy or read comics his grandpa got for him whenever he drove out into the city. He would also come around and ask Taehyung if he liked the stories, hoping he would maybe talk to him about it, but he never did.

The weather was really bad and it was actually already late and Taehyung felt tired and more than often started to doze off and his grandma was just about to carry him into the back so he could sleep, when the doors opened and three people rushed in, running away from the wind and the rain outside.

It was a small family, parents and one son, and they looked drenched and tired. The father stepped forward and Taehyung’s grandma turned around to talk with them first and now he wasn’t even that tired anymore, a bit curious of the late guests.

“Ah, good evening! I was hoping we could get a room? Our car gave out on us a bit further down the road. We’re just glad we spotted this place,” the father explained, smiling despite everything.

Grandma, Taehyung even knew before he would witness it, got terribly worried and immediately prepared them a room to stay and said she would call someone to get their car. The man thanked her and looked relieved when he took the keys and thanked her three more times as he called over his wife and son with his hand.

The family started to go towards the stairs and grandma was suddenly in front him again and made him take her hand. Taehyung looked after the family and locked eyes with their son – he was probably about his age, maybe a bit older – who immediately smiled at him. Taehyung just averted his eyes and didn’t see the confused look on the other boy’s face.

 

Taehyung had overheard how his grandma had talked to the two adults of the latest guests the next morning. They had been on their way out of Daegu and back to Gwangju and Taehyung knew that it was a long way. Apparently they wanted to properly have their car fixed before continuing their long journey and would thus stay a few days longer while the vehicle was at the workshop.

Taehyung had just started reading his new comic in the hotel lobby when he noticed a shadow falling over him and a loud voice startling him.

“Woah! Is that the new Iron Man comic?!” Taehyung looked up and found the son of the family that arrived yesterday in front of him. Taehyung only nodded and the boy got really excited, actually jumping. “Can I read it with you? Do you mind? I already read all the ones I brought with me and it’s super boring here.” Taehyung only nodded again and suddenly the boy was sitting next to him, still giving him a blinding smile and Taehyung thought that it looked a little bit like a heart.

“I’m Hoseok, by the way! And I like the color green and comics and dancing, oh and dinosaurs, but only the green ones. What’s your name?”

Taehyung felt nervous, wanted to reply, wanting to tell Hoseok his name, too, but just the thought of hearing his own voice made him feel dizzy. Hoseok patiently waited for him to reply and even when Taehyung didn’t, he kept smiling at him.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to! Then I will give you a nickname until you tell me. I’ll call you… Binggan!” Taehyung was confused by that word (or name) since he had never heard it before and Hoseok must have noticed that.

“It’s Chinese and it means cookie! It’s the only word I know in Chinese so until you tell me your name, you’ll be Binggan!” And without saying anything else, Hoseok leaned down to read the comic and Taehyung looked at him for a while before doing the same.

The stayed like that and actually read the entire thing and then even started to have a conversation. Well, Hoseok actually just talked and asked him questions Taehyung could answer without talking, apparently not bothered at all that he stayed quiet the entire time.

Taehyung wasn’t really used to that. In school the other kids had long given up talking to him. He had even lost his old friends that he had before he stopped using his voice and every adult that knew about him just gave him this pitiful look that he hated because it made him feel even worse, made him feel like he was constantly doing everything wrong and he probably was because he was supposed to speak.

In the evening Hoseok asked if he wanted to join his family for dinner and Taehyung wasn’t sure, but his grandpa was also around and nodded enthusiastically, wishing him a good time. He didn’t have school or homework right now since they were in the middle of holidays so he really tagged along.

Hoseok’s parents were really nice, but he was still nervous that they would get upset when he wouldn’t be able to answer their questions and he felt how his hands got so sweaty that his chopsticks fell down when they asked about his name, his age and more.

“Oh, Binggan doesn’t like to talk so much, umma! You have to ask him questions he can answer with his head,” Hoseok had immediately said. Hoseok’s mother was surprised at the name and Hoseok explained that it had been his idea to call him that until Taehyung would tell him his name and no, he did not want to for his parents to ask his grandparents, he wanted for ‘Binggan’ to tell him himself.

The two adults apparently didn’t mind to ask him simple questions at all and Taehyung started to relax after a while when Hoseok started to tell his parents about his day and it couldn’t have been that exciting because he had spent it entirely with Taehyung and all they had done was reading comics, walk around the hotel and having their special kind of conversations. But when Hoseok told the stories, it sounded wild and like an adventure.

“And Binggan showed me the entire hotel, he knows everything around here and we raced in one of the corridors where no one was staying and I won every time! And you would not believe what happened to Tony in the new chapter! Appa, he lost one of his suits!!” The dinner continued like that until Hoseok had to leave with his parents after dinner, but he promised he’s be around again tomorrow.

And he was and he still didn’t seem to mind even one little bit that Taehyung was not talking. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t reacting. In fact, Taehyung hadn’t laughed and smiled or even moved so much ever since the day he lost his voice. Hoseok and him either read comics or played in the hotel, either tag or hide and seek and at first Taehyung was worried that his grandparents wouldn’t like it, but they told him to have fun each and every day.

“And that’s my biggest talent!” Hoseok had just finished his newest dance routine he had learned at the dancing school back home and Taehyung was in awe because the other boy was really good. He even made Taehyung dance with him even though he was blushing and tumbling over his own feet, but Hoseok kept telling how great he was.

“Binggan, I am so glad you are here! I would have died out of boredom! You saved me!” Taehyung froze at these words. Of course Hoseok didn’t mean it like that. Taehyung couldn’t save anyone. “Say, Binggan, do you have a special talent? You must have! Show it to me, pleeease!”

A year ago, Taehyung would have sung for him, but he knew he couldn’t do that… at least he thought he couldn’t. He only knew Hoseok for four days now and every day his desire to let Hoseok hear his voice, to know his real name, became bigger and bigger. Taehyung opened his mouth and Hoseok’s eyes widened in anticipation, but all that left his mouth was air and choked noises and he felt disappointed in himself. Jesus, he didn’t even manage to hum, he couldn’t do anything. No, Taehyung didn’t have any special talent.

“Let’s go eat something,” Hoseok suddenly said and this time his smile was more gentle than usually and he took Taehyung by his hand and led them down to the kitchen where they would always get a little snack.

Taehyung was so used to Hoseok already, it really hurt when he told him on the next day that they would leave in only an hour. He only managed to stare in absolute shock at the other boy who looked equally sad.

“Binggan, I am going to miss you so much! And I promise we will see each other again! I don’t know how, but we will, I just know it! I’m going to find you!”

“T-T-Taehyung.”

Hoseok stopped walking and slowly turned, his mouth agape and eyes wide. “What?”

“M-m-y n-name is Taehyung.” It was weird. God, it was so weird. He had expected for it to hurt, for his chords to rip because he hadn’t used them in so long. More so, he had been sure it would be the worst to hear his own voice again, but the desire to finally tell Hoseok his real name had been bigger, much bigger. Hoseok couldn’t leave and promise to find him without knowing his real name.

“T-Taehyung?” Hoseok asked and probably couldn’t believe that the other boy had actually spoken. He only kept staring at him, but suddenly his usual smile reappeared on his face and he moved forward to hug the boy. “Taehyung!!”

The two of them walked to the lobby together, Hoseok holding Taehyung’s hand tightly in his, and found both their parents and grandparents there.

“Are you ready to go, Hoseok?” Hoseok’s mother asked and the boy nodded quietly and looked over to his friend.

“Remember our promise, Taehyung,” he said and slowly let go of his hand and it felt cold without the contact, somehow not right.

“Wait, why are you calling him Taehyung?” Hoseok turned to his mother who was looking at him in surprise, probably expecting Binggan instead. Hoseok acted like that was such an unnecessary question and just shrugged.

“Because that’s his name, umma. He told me.” Everyone was quiet and suddenly Taehyungs grandparents were right in front of him, their faces in shock.

“Is it true, Tae? Did you tell him your name? All on your own?” Taehyung only nodded, feeling nervous and eyes darting around the room.

His grandmother started to tear up and his grandpa smiled widely at him. “Can you say it again? Can we hear your voice?” Taehyung only shrugged and for once it wasn’t because he didn’t want to say anything – because he actually really wanted for his grandparents to hear him too – but he just didn’t know what to say. So he turned to Hoseok who was still smiling at him, because somehow it would be easier to talk to him, he knew what he could say.

“I-I’ll show y-you my special talent when we see e-each other a-again.” Hoseok only grinned wider and nodded and suddenly there were strong arms around him, his grandparents hugging him close.

Taehyung stayed outside and watched Hoseok and his family drive away and he truly believed he would see the boy again.

 

 

Taehyung noticed several things were wrong when he woke up. First of all, his neck hurt like a bitch, but was probably because he was on the floor next to his bed instead of being in it. How that had happened he really didn’t know, but it was probably related to the great of amount of soju he had dumped the night before with his neighbor Jackson which also probably caused the nausea and the pounding headache.

“Oh fucking hell,” he whispered to no one in particular (no one was even there to hear it in the first place) as he heaved himself up and somehow managed to get into his bathroom. He only glanced at himself in the mirror, already regretting it because he looked like shit. He needed a shower and some food or just maybe an entire new body, but he was pretty sure his fridge only had toast in it so the latter option was out. At least he got a shower and it actually helped him to feel a little bit better about himself.

Surprisingly he was still on time for work today, not having the latest shift, only taking over once Jimin would leave for dance practice this afternoon. He vaguely remembered that he was supposed to flirt with some friend of his dance instructor or something. Apparently a prank, he didn’t really get the gist of it, but it wasn’t that important anyway.

He got dressed quickly, turning on some music while getting ready to get out, silently singing along to the music until his voice got louder and louder and he was shouting the chorus. He just saw it as a warming up in the morning. Didn’t hurt anyone, really. (Except of Jackson who started to pound his fist against his side of the wall, shouting at him to shut the hell up.)

Outside it was really fucking cold, there was no other way to describe it really when the wind was smacking into his face like that and he almost slipped on some frozen part on the pavement and what the hell, this day was not his, that was for sure.

He checked the time on his phone when he got onto the bus and he’d have about two hours in the hospital before he had to leave for the café – his own business and really it still sounded crazy to him. He was a business man, who would have thought? Well, he certainly didn’t look like one, he was pretty sure. After all he was wearing a bright green sweater and white skinny jeans underneath his brown coat and his hair was freaking lilac and a mess and he was wearing eyeliner, but he loved it that way.

He got off at the stop and entered the large building, only waving at the receptionist and making a beeline to the elevator to get to the third floor of the children’s ward. This job was his little secret. Honestly, Taehyung felt a little bad for not telling Jimin that he went to visit the kids of the hospital to sing for them several times a week. But he knew Jimin would get that guilty look, feeling like he had robbed Taehyung of his dream to be a famous singer which he hadn’t. Taehyung had been very sure in his choice to open the café with his best friend and in return to turn down the offer of that scout that had almost pestered him almost a year ago. It wasn’t like Taehyung would ever be able to actually perform on stage. No, just the thought made him shudder. Singing for sick kids was way better. They were always so happy to see him and chanted along with him and the parents were really grateful for what he did and he didn’t get payed for it, but he received tips from the parents sometimes so it was kind of nice. He didn’t do this for the money anyway.

He grinned at the head nurse that was already waiting for him with a guitar in her hand.

“The kids are already waiting for you, Taehyung,” she said and gave him the instrument. Taehyung grinned and wasted no time in stepping inside and yelling a loud “Hey fans!!” getting excited shouts back and two girls even running up to him.

He put away the guitar to pick up the first one to reach him who was secretly his favorite, too. She was a girl that had been here ever since he started doing this almost seven months ago and he knew that she would very likely never leave this place cured either.

“My twin, Taekyung!” Taekyung was only six years old and looked over the moon to see him. Today she wore a cute Hello Kitty hat, covering her hairless head. “I love this hat, oh my God. Where did you get it, I want it, too!”

“Mommy got it for me. It’s from Japan!”

“Ah, I have to beg your mommy to get one for me, too then.” He was joking, but he would probably wear it if he ever got his hands on one, if he were completely honest.

He kept Taekyung in his arms while going further inside to greet the other kids and eventually he had to let the little girl go to get his guitar and without further ado he started playing his first song.

 

Taehyung sighed as he put his head on the counter in the café. Today was a slow day and only some tables were occupied and actually it was nice to relax for a bit after the busy morning rush. Jimin had been in the kitchen the entire time and him and Seokjin had to handle the outside and it was hell and they really needed to hire another person, but they also had to watch their budget. Why was running a café so hard?

There was no helping it. It was his turn to be the waiter, Seokjin was now in charge of the register so he quickly grabbed his notepad and moved to a table by the window with three young men sitting around it.

“A good day, gentlemen! I’m Tae and I will have the pleasure to serve you today!” Waiting wasn’t actually that bad. He liked to act like this was a three-star restaurant and it actually earned him enough laughter and tips in the end.

The three customers turned to him and while Tae slowly looked them over, he got stuck on one of them who looked really familiar to him, but he just couldn’t but his finger on it.

“Oh hello, I have a question,” said person told him and Tae just nodded, waiting and hoping it wasn’t something too specific about their pastries because he didn’t really have too much of a clue. “Is Park Jimin working today?”

Well, he was able to answer that.

“Ah, yeah, he is, but he is busy in the kitchen today. Do you need to speak to him?”

“Oh no, I am just friends with him, but it’s not important.” Suddenly the boy threw a big smile his way and it was like a slap to Taehyung’s face because he knew that smile, God, how could he ever forget it? But it couldn’t be. It couldn’t. Kim Taehyung had accepted the fact that he would never meet that person again. It was just a coincidence so he wouldn’t even spend another thought on it and instead just smiled at their group.

“Can I still bring you anything?” He asked and made sure that his expression was just the same as when he had arrived at their table. The three ordered some cake and drinks and Taehyung swiftly noted it down and winked at them before leaving them with a quick “right up, my dear Sirs!”

Behind the counter he quickly started to prepare their orders while Seokjin was coming out of the kitchen and restocking them with cake. He started silently singing again, like he always did when he worked, though his mind was still busy with the thought of the young man sitting only a few feet away from him. He almost wanted ask for his name just to be sure and but he didn’t want to be disappointed again. Honestly, it had been what? More than ten years? Probably and he actually hadn’t thought about that particular boy in a long time and suddenly he was running up the walls just because someone had a somewhat similar smile.

No, it’s exactly the same. It’s heart-shaped.

He shook his head, as if that could get rid of the thought and instead took their receipt and doodled a little elephant on it like he always did with his costumers before stacking up everything on a tray and going back to the table.

“And I am back again and I have presents too, Merry Christmas!” His joke even worked out, it was winter after all. He put down the tray and handed out the orders and lastly tucked the receipt under the menu card before picking up the try again and leaving with another wink and one jazz hand that earned him at least two smiles and one odd look so he’d say it was a good quota for the day.

There weren’t any other customers to serve so instead Taehyung started to clean the tables and rearrange the chairs, still singing the last song he had sung for the kids today under his breath. All throughout of it, he felt a pair of eyes on him and at first he told himself it was just his imagination, but when he looked up he actually saw that particular guy looking at him and Taehyung did what felt the most natural to him and send a big grin towards his way which made him turn his head away so fast, it must have hurt. Cute.

No, it wasn’t him. He maybe just wanted it to be him, but that man was not his Hoseok.

 

That man was his Hoseok.

Taehyung didn’t find out right away, though.

The three of them kept coming back and he was the one to serve them every time, too (since they hadn’t so much staff in the first place) and he didn’t catch their names, but knew their orders by then. At least for their drinks since they chose a different pastry each time, but the caramel cappuccinos stayed the same.

Taehyung had come over his first initial shock and didn’t even waste much time thinking back to his first reaction to one of them, convinced that he just looked a lot like the boy from his memories. He did notice however that he was still checking him out sometimes and it was fun to grin or wink at him whenever he caught him staring. Taehyung might have been a very quiet (very, very quiet) child after his mother passed away, but by now he was pretty much a different person. Jimin always said that he simply had no shame and maybe he wasn’t wrong.

Despite all of that, Taehyung didn’t find out about his identity for quite some time.

He had caught one of their trio with Jimin in the kitchen early in the morning and he noticed the googly eyes they were throwing at each other and it was kind of cute, it really was. Apparently that person’s name was Yoongi as he found out. (Jimin wouldn’t shut up about him anyway, how could he not learn his name at least.) It was actually really fortunate – or maybe unfortunate – that Jimin never happened to mention the other two, especially since he seemed to be friends with one of them.

No, Taehyung found out when he was waiting for the elevator in the hospital and found himself not being alone. It was him, Hoseok-look-alike who seemed just as surprised, but quickly threw him a wide smile.

“Ah, hello, this is a surprise!” He said in a chipper voice and Taehyung nodded and smiled back at him.

“Are you here to visit someone?” Hoseok nodded and a worried look passed his face.

“One of my students – I’m a dance instructor by the way – hurt his arm and I wanted to see how he was doing. It’s nothing serious, though. How about you?”

Taehyung hesitated before answering. This person knew Jimin and there was a possibility of him telling him about all of this, but it was also rude to lie or not say anything at all. The dance instructor was patiently waiting for him to answer, still a little smile on his face, and more than ever he looked like the boy he desperately wanted him to be.

“Well, kind of? I, um,” he hesitated again and bit into his lower lip, debating if he should just do it. “I kind of work here? It’s voluntary work, though. I make music for the kids here.” He decided to tell him in the end and as they stepped into the elevator the other man looked at him in awe.

“Wow, that’s amazing! I’m sure they really appreciate it.” Taehyung nodded, still a bit worried now that the secret was out.

“Could you maybe… not tell Jimin about this? He doesn’t know and it’s a long story, but I just don’t want him to know for now. You dance with him, don’t you?” The dancer looked confused, but still nodded and promised to keep his secret.

Taehyung got ready to get out, his floor coming up first, and the doors were about to open, when he heard the other man speak up again.

“You’re Tae, right? I’m Jung Hoseok!” Taehyung’s blood ran cold and he didn’t know how he managed to get out of the elevator without tripping, didn’t know how he managed to stay calm and turned around again. Hoseok. Hoseok. Hoseok.

You found me.

“Yeah, but my full name is Taehyung. You can call me Binggan, though,” and Taehyung watched how the smile fell from Hoseok’s face and he stared at him in shock and he heard him whisper the old nickname before the elevator doors closed between them and he was gone.

It’s him. It was his Hoseok. The boy who had changed his entire life and had given him his voice back.

 

Taehyung didn’t know how he managed to push away the recent revelation of things. Maybe it was the children’s smiles that helped him to forget about it for now. Maybe it was Taekyung’s head on his lap as he sang them one song without the guitar this time. Maybe the little time he stayed to play a quick game with them which resulted in carrying as many of the kids at the same time as possible. He was still a little exhausted, but made sure to not show it. These tiny tea-cup sized people deserved nothing but smiles and positivity.

“TaeTae, when will you come back?” Taekyung asked when he was already halfway outside the room, standing in the doorway. He crouched down so she wouldn’t have to strain her neck and smiled lovingly at her.

“I will try to come as quickly as possible. How about… in two days?” Taekyung nodded, smiling happily and throwing herself towards him and he caught her effortlessly, picking her up to spin her around.

“Then it’s a date, little princess! Think of a song I can sing and I will and it will be just for you!”

He let her down again and they both knew she needed to get back to bed, but she hugged his leg once more before jumping away and Taehyung stayed to watch her go.

“So that is your special talent?” Taehyung jumped at the unexpected voice and turned around to find Hoseok leaning against the wall across from him.

“Oh… oh, yeah, I suppose it is.” This was awkward. Really, really awkward. Taehyung hadn’t imagined their reunion to be like this. Well, he had never even expected to ever see Hoseok again in the first place, but here they were now.

“Who would have thought you would be a singer?” Hoseok grinned and there was his heart-shaped smile again and some of the tension in the air left and Taehyung relaxed. He was about to retort something when the head nurse appeared next to him with a man in tow whom he didn’t know.

“Taehyung, do you have a moment? This gentleman would like to talk to you.” Taehyung just nodded and smiled at the man who was probably a parent of one of the kids. Maybe he would get a little tip, he wouldn’t mind that since Jimin and him were saving money to get some new decoration for the café.

“I heard you sing for the first time today and I was very impressed, young man. You are really talented. My son loves you and I can’t help to agree. Tell you what, I actually work for a really good producer and I am sure he would love to hear you, too. I’d like to leave you with my card.” The man already had his business card in his hand, but Taehyung didn’t even glance at it before shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not interested, thank you so much for noticing me, though. I only do this as a hobby and I already have a job which I like very much.”

Apparently this answer surprised both the scout and Hoseok who was still there and had been listening. The nurse next to him looked somewhat solemn, but didn’t say anything.

“Are you… are you sure about that? You could really go places,” the scout tried again, but Taehyung just nodded and bowed his head before wishing him and the nurse goodbye and walking towards the elevator, not saying anything when Hoseok wordlessly followed him.

They didn’t talk until they were in the elevator again and Taehyung pushed the button to go down. He noticed how Hoseok was eyeing him curiously and he already knew what was on his mind. The first time someone had tried to scout him here the nurses had wondered the same thing after all, but by now they knew.

“You’re surprised because I turned down that offer, aren’t you?” Taehyung turned to Hoseok who smiled nervously and nodded.

“Yeah, kinda. I mean, I heard you sing and you are really, really good. I mean, honestly, so good. He was right, you really could go places,” he was being genuine, Taehyung knew, but it was somehow weird to talk to Hoseok about this. Well, he never liked to do it, but it was somehow different with him.

“Maybe, but like I said, I’m not really interested. I’m happy now,” and I still don’t like my voice. He didn’t say it. He never did. The only one that knew was Jimin and he knew too much already after years of friendship and drunken nights when Taehyung hadn’t become hyperactive, but nostalgic and plain sad instead, until he had cried in his best friend’s arms.

Hoseok looked like he wanted to say something, but apparently stopped himself and smiled instead. “If that’s what you want, then that’s good.”

They stepped out of the elevator together and the awkward atmosphere returned and none of them really knew what to say until Taehyung remembered something Hoseok had said before.

“Wait, didn’t you say you were here to visit a friend? How did you also listen to me singing?” Hoseok next to him started to laugh while scratching his neck, a light blush on his cheeks.

“Well, you see… I kind of went to the wrong hospital? He isn’t even here and well… after you dropped that bomb on me I kinda had to go and see you.” Taehyung stopped in his track and looked at Hoseok in surprise who seemed embarrassed enough and then just started to laugh.

“Wow, what a feat,” he said in between laughs and started walking again, Hoseok still by his side and apparently just planning to go wherever Taehyung was heading.

They reached the bus stop and if Hoseok wouldn’t follow him to work, too then their ways would part here. He turned around again, his laughter had died down by now, but still with a smile around his lips.

“This is kind of crazy,” he admitted and Hoseok nodded in agreement, apparently sticking around until the bus would come.

“Yeah, kinda… you know I really did come back to see you again. To your grandparent’s hotel in Daegu. Well… actually we went there with my friend Yoongi because he was visiting family and I tagged along. And I went to the hotel, but your grandparents told me that you moved to Seoul for college and like… Seoul is really big, so I kind of gave up on maybe meeting you again and I guess I could have asked them for your number or address or something, but I didn’t. I thought it would be weird or you wouldn’t even remember me.” Taehyung listened quietly to Hoseok and wondered how he could have doubted him; he was still so much like the little boy all those years ago. His smile and laugh, the way he gesticulated when he talked and how he drove his fingers through his hair every once in a while.

“It wouldn’t have been weird and I didn’t forget you,” how could I, he added in his head. “But you didn’t even ask for my name back then and waited for me to tell you, so I’m not surprised you didn’t ask my grandparents for my number. When you first came into the café I was already wondering if it was you, but I wasn’t really sure. Over the years I met several people that looked like you, so I stopped getting excited.”

“You were hoping to meet me again?” Hoseok was looking hopeful, his eyes wide in surprise and his grin so big it showed his teeth.

“Of course. You did promise you would find me.”

“Well, I have to be honest, I did not recognize you at all. You really changed a lot!” It was very likely a compliment, but Taehyung just shrugged and mumbled a “yeah, I guess,” before trying to change the topic. Taehyung didn’t like to talk about himself.

“So, you didn’t know it was me, didn’t even suspect it, but still checked me out?” There was a cheeky grin on his face now and he had expected for Hoseok to start stammering, maybe blush, but instead the other man just returned the grin, proud and confident.

“Yeah, totally did. You’re kind of my type.” So instead it was Taehyung that ended up blushing and thanked the heavens for sending the bus their way in that moment.

“Well, I guess I see you around the café then?” Taehyung asked and started to look in his pockets for his bus ticket. There was suddenly a hand around his arm and Hoseok made him look at him.

“Give me your number… please!”

Taehyung looked at him in surprise and smirked, only shaking off his arms and started to approach the bus that was now standing in front of him.

“Nah, you gave up on looking for me when I wasn’t in Daegu anymore, right? So you gotta earn it! See you around!” And once again there were doors between them before Hoseok could even give his answer and he could only watch Taehyung drive away.

 

“There is a customer who wants to speak to the manager.” Taehyung was in the kitchen with Jimin, helping him putting groceries in the storage when Seokjin’s head popped in.

“What? Why?” Jimin asked, immediately worried and Taehyung also stopped to listen and find out what happened.

“I don’t really know, he said he had a complaint.” Seokjin looked just as anxious as the two of them felt. They hadn’t been in this situation before and Taehyung already knew that Jimin was getting panicky, so he quickly put down the box of apples he was holding and went out to deal with it.

“Don’t worry, ChimChim, I’ll take care of this!” He called back and feigned calmness even though he was also a bit antsy. His worries all disappeared, however, when he stepped outside and found Hoseok waiting there. He was looking serious, but Taehyung could see the corners of his mouth switching.

So, he wanted to play this game? Well, Taehyung would be down with that.

“You wanted to speak the manager, Sir?” he asked as if he had never seen Hoseok in his life before. Seokjin stayed a bit behind him and acted like he was cleaning the coffee machine, but Taehyung knew he was listening in.

“Yes, I am a bit upset with the customer service. I was trying to get your attention the entire time and was left hanging.” By now Hoseok was smiling, unable to hold it back, but Taehyung was better at keeping his poker face up. Oh, he was really playing a dangerous game. He really didn’t know this Taehyung at all.

Taehyung’s stance relaxed and he leaned at against the counter, a big sigh escaping him.

“Sir, it’s really enough, you have to stop following me. I told you that I will not give you my number.” At that both Seokjin and Hoseok seemed confused, the former slowly turning around and coming closer and the latter opening his mouth without saying anything.

“What is going on?” Seokjin asked, now sending next to Taehyung, looking worried.

Another sigh left Taehyung and he pushed his bangs down, a habit of his.

“Ah it’s just… this gentleman has some kind of weird attachment to me. He even followed me to the bus stop yesterday and asked for my number. He even went to see my grandparents in Daegu to find me. It’s a bit bothersome.” Taehyung knew exactly how all of this sounded now. It made Hoseok look like a stalker.

“What?” Seokjin asked, now brows furrowed and glancing to Hoseok who seemed at loss.

“No, wait, that’s not true! I know him! The complaint thing was just a joke! We know each other!” Apparently Seokjin wasn’t having it and stepped in front of Taehyung, as if he was trying to protect his child.

“So you didn’t do those things he just described?”

“Well… yes I did, but-“

“Sir, will have to ask you to leave.”

Taehyung dropped his façade, now that Seokjin couldn’t see his face and soundlessly laughed behind his back. Hoseok could see him really well though, and looked at him in desperation.

“Wait, no! We really know each other! Taehyung say something!” He tried to take a step towards him, but Seokjin was there to stand in his way and it was probably time to stop this.

“Hyung, relax! He is telling the truth, I was just playing!” Seokjin turned around and stared at him, apparently speechless, but then smacked his head.

“Jesus, Taehyung! I was this close to fight him! Don’t do that!” Taehyung only laughed, finding all of this just hilarious. Because it was, and Jimin would have probably laughed, too.

“Sorry, sorry! That was just too good! I’ll take over, you can get back to work! Also, good employees don’t smack their bosses.”

“Good bosses aren’t goofing around like that either,” Seokjin replied, but was already smiling again. He just sighed and got back behind the counter. Taehyung turned to Hoseok now who was just shaking his head and looked like he just lost ten years of his life. He was grinning though.

“You’re really crazy, Binggan! I’m really not good at fighting, he could have killed me!” Taehyung just snorted at that, glad that Hoseok seemed to appreciate his humor.

“Not really. He looks big, but he is a wet noodle.”

“I heard that, Taehyung!” came from behind the counter and Taehyung just turned his head to grin at him. He only got another sigh in return.

“Now, if he had gotten Jimin, he could have probably beaten you into a pulp.” Taehyung quickly scanned the café and saw that it wasn’t too busy so he pushed himself off the counter and led them to a table to sit.

“Jiminnie wouldn’t have hit me. I’m his beloved hyung.” The two of them sat down at the table, Hoseok staying in his coat for now which was probably about right, since Taehyung was at work and had to get back into the kitchen at some point.

“Yes, but I am his best friend and partner in crime for years, he would beat up anyone for me.”

Hoseok laughed and for a moment none of them said anything. Taehyung was about to get up again, excusing himself, when Hoseok stopped him.

“Did I earn your number yet?” Taehyung looked at him, wearing a small smirk and replied without hesitating.

“No? You didn’t do anything. You have to woo me.”

“And how would you like for me to ‘woo’ you?”

“Well, it would be pretty boring if I just told you like that.”

Hoseok thought about that for a while and for a short moment Taehyung was worried he was taking this too far, but the dancer got a determined look on his face and nodded once.

“Alright. Be ready to be courted then. Jung Hoseok style.” Taehyung snorted and stood up and pushed the chair back towards the table.

“Sure, I look forward to it. It won’t be easy. I’m known to be to basically untouchable. A forbidden fruit. The holy grail. What you have.”

“You’re weird, Binggan.” It was something Taehyung had heard often enough and yeah, for most people he seemed to be unconventional. He used to wear colored contacts or even wear high heels for parties. Not because he wasn’t sure of his gender identity, but because Taehyung saw no good reason why he shouldn’t wear make-up, high heels and tights when he looked so good in them. Honestly, hardly anyone could rock pantyhose like him. People also thought he was strange because he sometimes said random things or more than often asked questions that made people think he was stoned. Which he wasn’t. He didn’t need weed to ask the real questions. Also, he just sang under his breath or talked to himself, while working alone. So yeah, maybe he was weird, but he didn’t really mind it and when Hoseok called him that, he didn’t make it sound like a bad thing. Instead he was looking at Taehyung with gentle eyes, as if he found it endearing.

“It’s my best quality,” he replied and winked at Hoseok who also left his chair now, probably ready to leave, too. Taehyung turned to get into the kitchen and just when he was at the door he heard Hoseok’s loud voice carrying through the entire café.

“Are you a beaver? Because dam!” Taehyung stared at him in astonishment, couldn’t believe how bad that pick-up line was, but it still made him laugh and he turned to get behind the counter and quickly got a cookie out of the jar by the register and brought it to Hoseok.

“That was so horrible, you deserve a cookie – a binggan - for it,” He said and gave Hoseok the cookie only after he took a small bite from it himself and once again left Hoseok behind closed doors.

He did however hear the “There is more where that came from,” even after the doors to the kitchen closed behind him.

Taehyung wondered for a moment what they were actually doing here. They were obviously flirting. This entire thing had nothing to do with friendship or a reunion of two childhood friends and they weren’t even that, they really just spent 5 days together over a decade ago.

No, Taehyung knew that their little game now was of different nature and felt excited, wondering what Hoseok would do next. Would it be another bad pick-up line or would he come up with something else entirely? Yes, Hoseok was really courting him (to say it in his own words) and Taehyung liked it. He loved it. He knew what he felt for the other man, Taehyung fell in love with Jung Hoseok when he had been ten years old and the other boy had named him after the Chinese word for cookie.

 

Taehyung waited to see Hoseok again and he did come back with his friends (Yoongi and Namjoon, he knew all their names now) to the café, but Taehyung was too busy running his business to flirt. He was either stuck behind the counter, helping restocking, taking care of their deliveries or helping Jimin in the kitchen (at least helping him stacking up the storage because Taehyung wouldn’t even look at the oven without setting something on fire.) Taehyung was able to come in later in the mornings now because Yoongi kept hanging out with Jimin and he must have it bad for their pastry chef if he willingly came over at 6 am in the morning. And sure enough, the two of them became an item and Yoongi was just always around now. He didn’t mind of course, he liked him actually. He was sometimes a bit grouchy and sarcastic, but he was good to Jimin and that was all Taehyung needed to know.

It wasn’t until three weeks after the beaver line that Taehyung managed to be their waiter again and he slid up to their table with a bright smile.

“Hello~, is it me you’re looking for?” he sang in a dramatic voice, trying to imitate Lionel Richie. The three of them smiled at his conversation opener and honestly Taehyung was famous for them. He was like a celebrity on the red carpet; they never showed up twice with the same dress and he never started a conversation the same way.

“How do I have to be able to be of your service today, oh fair folk? May it be the usual or will you surprise us all this time?”

In the end they didn’t surprise him, but he was still happy to serve them, humming a tune that probably didn’t even exist while getting their order ready, sticking a head into the kitchen to tell Jimin that the man of his dreams was there (only have him almost drop a cake) before going to their table again.

“Gentlemen, it is I, Kim Taehyug, here to bring you the finest gourmet,” he announced himself, quickly putting all pastries and drinks in front of them before presenting them their receipt which was an origami crane this time.

“What the hell is that,” Yoongi said as he stared at paper animal, in a voice almost in distaste, while Namjoon picked it up and seemed impressed enough.

“Oh, I learned the art of orígami,” he purposely mispronounced it, too, “from an old sensei during my years in Japan. We lived up a mountain by a narrow river that led to an everlasting waterfall which was said to be cursed. The legend said-“

“Taehyung, you took a three week long course during college,” Jimin said, suddenly standing behind him.

“Jiminnie, you really know how to ruin me, why are killing my game like this? I was just about to tell them about a fair maiden that tried to cross the river to save her pet bird Naruto and thus fell into the raging water.”

“Naruto? Really?”

“I don’t really know many Japanese names, gomenasai.”

The others laughed at that and Yoongi wondered – out loud – how he can pull so much bullshit out of his ass on daily basis.

The two owner stayed a bit by the table, since business was quiet for now and they chatted for a while. Well, Jimin eventually ended up just talking to Yoongi as if they hadn’t seen each other only a few hours before and this time Taehyung had walked in on them making out with Yoongi sitting onto one of their counters.

“You make food on those things!” Taehyung had complained, not really so into seeing his best friend make out with his new boyfriend no matter where.

“Don’t worry, my ass is A+,” was what Yoongi had replied to that and it was so shameless that he kind of forgave them.

“Was Taehyung always like this?” Namjoon asked Jimin at some point and the pastry chef nodded, without even having to think about it.

“We were roommates right from the get-go in college and he came in with giant stuffed flamingo and told me that if someone asked, I never saw the flamingo and my roommate certainly did not steal it from the arts and craft club. I asked him if he really stole it and he said ‘yes of course, I did,’ and I asked him why and he just said,” Jimin looked over to Taehyung who was grinning brightly, remembering their first encounter just as well.

“I want to release him back into nature and free him from the cruel claws of contemporary arts students,” Taehyung finished the story, earning him laughter around the table.

“He also went around, telling people he has an elephant in his body.”

“But I do! I will show you guys at some point. No better way to make friends, really.”

Yoongi and Namjoon stared at him, while Hoseok just grinned widely, saying he can’t wait to see it and Taehyung thought that he missed a great chance for a pick line (something with seeing his elephant’s gigantic trunk) and he was about to say it himself when someone was calling his name.

He turned his head towards the voice and was surprised to find his neighbor and drinking buddy Jackson standing there, waving and approaching him.

“Yah, Tae, just coming around for payday. Is that alright for you?” Jackson briefly nodded to Jimin, who smiled back, before turning back to Taehyung, not noticing the other three men.

“Oh yeah, sure, I gotcha. I’ll be out for ten minutes, alright Jimin?” Jimin just nodded and asked what he was doing and while Taehyung was taking of the apron he was wearing, he absentmindedly replied with, “I just gotta blow Jackson in the bathroom real quick.” Namjoon choked on his coffee while his other two friends stared at him in shock.

“Excuse me, what was that?” Yoongi asked in shock and his eyes grew even wider when Jimin nodded, as if it was the appropriate reaction to this.

“Alright, don’t take too long, I have to go back into the kitchen in a bit.”

“Don’t worry, I’m quick.” Jackson only grinned smacking Taehyung ass and their three guests were still stunned until Taehyung, Jimin, and Jackson cracked.

“I’m just kidding, I owe him money and I’ll just go and withdraw some from the bank with him. This is Jackson, my neighbor.” Jackson saluted and put his arm on Taehyung’s shoulder to leave with him.

“I’ll get him back in one piece, promise!”

Taehyung laughed along with him and he didn’t notice Hoseok’s eyes on them when they left the shop.

Chapter 2

Summary:

“You said that the café is Jimin’s dream, but what about yours?”
Taehyung averted his eyes, his fingers were playing with the hem of Hoseok’s shirt as he pondered if he should tell the truth or avoid the question.
“I don’t really have one."

Notes:

I want to say a big thank you for the lovely comments you left me! I am always really happy about receiving those! Here is the second and last part to this story and I hope you enjoy it. (I'm sorry for the angst lmao)

Also, I used a line of a poem called "The Moon and the Stars" taken from a game called "Homesick". So all credit goes there!

Enjoy!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The group of rappers became a constant thing in Taehyung’s life and it had already been two months since Hoseok appeared in his life again (though it had taken them about a month to actually find out about each other.)

Taehyung still hadn’t given out his number, no matter how many pick-up lines were thrown his way, but by now it was almost like a little game between them.

“You know Hoseok, you should probably start to come up with something else but pick-up lines,” Taehyung said when Hoseok had come on his own this time around. He had noticed that Hoseok never asked for his number when he was in the café with his friends, only ever when they alone. Well, he still checked him out enough, though, but it was like he was sending him mixed signals and Taehyung wasn’t sure what game they were really playing here. His eyes would follow Taehyung wherever he went, he even felt the dancer’s gaze on him when he was tending to other customers, but he never asked for his number or dropped one of his horrible lines. Maybe he didn’t want to be teased by his friends, but Taehyung found that unreasonable. Yoongi was a lovesick puppy waggling his tail whenever he as much as saw Jimin’s red hair pass by so he was really in no place to tease anyone about their romantic life.

Fact was that Taehyung really wanted to give his number to Hoseok. He wanted to spent time with him outside of work, wanted to sneakily text him during work (though he was the boss so he wouldn’t really have to sneak anything), send him dumb pictures or stickers in kakao. He wanted to randomly call him to hear his voice or tell him the latest thought that ran through his head. He thought it was kind of silly of him to feel like this. All of these feelings were based on lousy five days he had spent with the other man when he had been ten years old. Then again, it had been special days for him. Hoseok had made him want to speak again after an entire year. He had helped him move on. He could have ended up an entirely different person if it wasn’t for that sociable boy that accidentally ended up at the small hotel at the outskirts of Daegu with his parents.

So yes, Taehyung liked Hoseok. But he was unsure. He was someone to think a lot about things even if people didn’t believe or expect that of him. But there was actually a lot of things going on in his head, a lot of worries too. What if he just liked the idea of Hoseok, but not the man himself? He didn’t even really know him. He was practically a stranger. Maybe it was just this romantic story of a magical reunion with his first love – if he even could call him that – that was alluring to him?

He didn’t really have an answer to all these questions. He thought about talking to Jimin about this, but then he’d also have to tell him about his and Hoseok’s past that would lead him to have to talk about his mother again which he still didn’t like to do. He wasn’t grieving anymore, but that didn’t mean it stopped hurting. Jimin knew of course that his mother passed away and that he had struggled a lot after that, had told him how he lost his voice. He only told Jimin that he just eventually started talking again as he got older, somehow finding the story of the boy that passed through his life like a storm somewhat private.

“Alright, I have an idea.” Taehyung’s eyes snapped back to Hoseok and he was pulled back into the here and now and away from his messy mind. God, his thoughts were a rubble of randomness and insecurities, he felt sorry for any mind reader that ever happened to encounter him.

“Tomorrow is your day off, right? Meet me at this address tomorrow at 9 am, I wanna show you something.” Hoseok took a napkin and scribbled an address that was actually pretty close by. Taehyung took it and put it into his pocket, making sure he wouldn’t lose or forget it.

“So not only are you claiming my precious day off, you also make me wake up early?” he said even though he would definitely show up, curious of what Hoseok might have in store.

“You won’t regret it, I promise. After that you will have to give me your number.”

“And what are you going to do with my number once you have it?” He made it sound teasing, but he really wanted to know. Wanted something to order his thoughts with.

Hoseok grinned widely and pushed himself off the counter, walking backwards to uphold eye contact.

“Then I’m going to ask you out.”

“But didn’t you already ask me out now? Or is this not a date tomorrow.”

“No, tomorrow is the grand finale in my quest to win ove-“ Hoseok was interrupted as he walked right into a table and Taehyung had seen it coming, but had not warned him because why would he want to miss how Hoseok stumbled over his own feet and even let out a high pitched yelp. Taehyung laughed (just like two other costumers that had witnessed the entire thing and Seokjin who was standing at the register and accidently let a loud snort slip out.) Hoseok was blushing now, but still grinning as he made sure that table and chairs were still standing where they belonged before turning around again.

“This was all planned.”

“Sure it was.”

“I made you laugh right?”

“See you tomorrow, Hoseok!”

 

“It’s really, really cold so whatever you want to show me better be inside.” It was the first thing Taehyung said when he arrived at the address just in time. Hoseok was already there and he just nodded and took Taehyung’s wrist to lead him into a building right next to them.

The second they set foot in it, Taehyung recognized what it was.

“This is your dance studio, isn’t?” Hoseok nodded and got rid of his coat and scarf and then even helped Taehyung get out of his, stopping to look at his choice of clothes. Taehyung found he was still somewhat tamely dressed up today. Just skinny black jeans and a giant black sweater with a Minnie Mouse head in the front and white polka dots around it. He loved this thing which he had found in the back of some secondhand shop and it was really warm and long and when he pulled it down, his collarbones were uncovered and he found that kind of sexy because he really liked that part of his body.

But the way Hoseok was eyeing him made him wonder if he had chosen wrong and this was just insane, Kim Taehyung never regretted his choice in fashion. Hoseok put away their outdoor wear and returned to brush away the bangs that hung into his face.

“That sweater is adorable. It really suits you,” he said then and usually Taehyung would have answered along the lines of “Yeah, I know right?” but instead his eyes were glued to Hoseok who was smiling at him and he felt really warm all of the sudden. Time to get some space right there.

“So, you want to dance for me, I take it?” He walked past his date/not-date towards the practice room, slipping out of his shoes before he stepped inside. Hoseok followed him, also getting out of his shoes, but already a new pair (probably just for dancing) in his hand. He turned on the lights and motioned for Taehyung to sit on a bench by the wall.

“Just lean back and enjoy the show. This is very exclusive content. It’s my routine for our next showcase. Also in that bag next to you is tea and sandwiches. Help yourself.” Taehyung looked over to the bag before shaking his head.

“I’ll wait for you. If you do well enough to impress me, I will feed you the sandwich.” Hoseok beamed at Taehyung’s promise and even jumped up once in excitement.

“Well then I just have to do well, right?”

And he really did not promise too much. Already two seconds into the choreography Taehyung’s mouth was wide open and his eyes were glued to Hoseok who almost flew over the dance floor. He couldn’t even comprehend how someone had such amazing control over their body. How they could move in such a way that complimented the music so perfectly, how Hoseok was pretty much a different person when he was in his element. They still upheld eye contact at first and Hoseok’s dark eyes were intense and boring into him, but at some point he must have gotten lost in the beat and his dancing, closing them, and it was honestly beautiful.

When the music faded out and Hoseok stood there in his final pose, his chest heaving from the exercise, Taehyung was honestly speechless. He didn’t know if he should clap or if that was too awkward or too much. He certainly deserved standing ovation, though.

“That was amazing,” he told Hoseok when he sat down in front of him on the floor. Taehyung immediately left the bench to sit down next to him and by now he managed to wipe of the star-struck impression off and instead smile at him until his cheeks stung.

“I’m glad you liked it! Does that mean I will be fed by yours truly?” He was grinning proudly – as he should be, anyone who was able to dance like that should be proud. Taehyung’s hand went into the back to grab one of the sandwiches. They were packed into a small box and he quickly opened it and ripped a piece off and Hoseok’s head moved forward, but instead of giving it to him, Taehyung motioned him to stop with his free hand.

“You have to come and get it,” he said and boldly put the piece between his teeth. Hoseok stared at him, stared at his mouth and the piece of sandwich between his them and slowly moved again until their faces where only inches apart. When he took the sandwich with his teeth, their mouths brushed only briefly, but Taehyung still licked his lips, aware how Hoseok’s eyes were still focused on them.

“Does it taste good?” Taehyung asked, but Hoseok didn’t answer him, instead he took Taehyung’s face into his hands and pulled him forward to kiss him for real and Taehyung sighed into the kiss, immediately returning it, his hands wandering into the dancer’s hair and pulling him even closer.

They stayed like that for a while. Feeding each other, making out and drinking the tea out of one cup. At some point Hoseok pulled Taehyung up and started to dance with him and they had done this before, too. Back when they were kids and it was more like a game, but this time there were hands around Taehyung’s hips, pulling him really close and they probably weren’t even following the beat of the music, but none of them cared.

He gave Hoseok his number on that day.

 

The next time they saw each other it was again in a hospital one week later, but for a very different reason this time.

It hadn’t been anyone’s fault. Just a small gas leak no one noticed and they were both lucky. Lucky that they already closed for the day and only stayed back to pass time until they could go to Hoseok’s, Namjoon’s, and Yoongi’s gig. Jimin had been working in the kitchen while Taehyung was sitting in the front, reading a magazine. Then he heard a loud sound and a scream and his entire body ran cold as he ran into the kitchen and found a big fire ad Jimin on the floor, unconscious and surrounded by black smoke. He had pulled his shirt over his mouth and pulled his best friend outside, outside of the café before calling for help. His hand holding the phone had been shaking so much, he almost dropped the device twice. The firemen and ambulance was there quickly, but not quickly enough for Taehyung who held Jimin close to him who was still out of it. He was like some heavy doll in his arm and Taehyung didn’t even hear the sirens, didn’t even notice the paramedic that had come to him until Jimin was pulled away from him and he was screaming.

They calmed him down and he realized that he must have been in shock and they drove them to the hospital – the same one he worked in – and they were separated again and Taehyung was fine, he was fucking fine, he just needed to get to Jimin.

The fire was horrible, but what was worse was to see his best friend being taken away from him. He was almost in panic when he ran through the hospital corridors and came to face with one of the nurses he actually knew. Telling her that he was Jimin’s emergency contact and that he needed to see him. It almost broke him when he found Jimin in the bed couching and Taehyung just hoped he wouldn’t cough of blood like his mother did in front of him before she died.

But the worst of it all was when Taehyung started to cry, falling onto his knees with his head buried into Jimin’s bed while Jimin stroked his hair, telling him he was fine.

“You can’t leave me, not you too. Not you, you are everything Park Jimin. Never leave me alone, please please please.”

He eventually calmed down, but he felt drained as if he had poured out everything in him. He heard someone yelling outside and recognized Yoongi immediately, since he had texted him at some point. He had been surprised that he had actually managed to do that. Jimin asked him to get him inside and Taehyung took a deep breath before leaving the room and managing to get Yoongi to his boyfriend. He decided to leave them be and instead slid onto the floor next to the door, staring at nothing at all until he heard quick footsteps arrive. He didn’t turn his face.

Right, I texted Seokjin and Hoseok, too.

“Where is he?! Is he alright?” Seokjin was kneeling next to him and slowly Taehyung moved his head, nodding.

“He is fine. Everything is alright.” Seokjin let out a loud relieved sigh and Taehyung heard the other that had arrived with him do the same. There was Hoseok of course, along with Namjoon and a boy named Jeongguk who danced with Jimin, Taehyung knew.

“Are you alright, Taehyung?” Hoseok was the one who spoke now and Taehyung just nodded, but felt way too numb.

He shouldn’t be like this. He should be relieved and happy because Jimin was alright, nothing happened. He would be okay. But all of this had been like an ice cold bucket of water spilled over his head. The way he had entered the hospital room and had found Jimin who had smiled, but immediately started to cough. It was just like his mother. Except it wasn’t, because Jimin was fine.

“I need to get out of here,” he got out, probably too quiet for anyone to hear. He pushed himself up and just left them behind and he heard how someone call his name, but his legs didn’t stop until he was at the elevator and he kept pressing the button and why was this stupid elevator not coming why was it so warm in here why couldn’t he breathe?

The door finally opened and Taehyung almost ran inside and just when the doors were about to close did Hoseok slip inside too.

“Taehyung are you-“

“No, no I’m not, I need to get out- I ne-need to get out of this hospital right now, I-I-I ca-can’t be-breathe.” He was shaking now and Hoseok quickly pulled him closer, holding him tightly.

“Count my breaths, Binggan. I’m here okay, you are not alone. Breathe with me.” And Taehyung did, he tried, feeling tears flowing down his face as he breathed with Hoseok, counting them with him. They reached seventeen when the elevator stopped and announced their arrival and thankfully no one had joined them or had tried to.

“Are you ready to get out or should we continue this.”

“N-no I want to ge-get out of he-he-here,” Taehyung could almost breathe easily again if it weren’t for the tears that were still not stopping and his nose was running, making it harder.

Hoseok kept one arm around him as he let him outside and once they left the building he led them to a bench, making Taehyung sit while he crouched in front of him.

Taehyung lowered his head, trying to put it between his legs, but Hoseok leaned forward so it landed on his shoulder instead and he got hold of him, his hands burying themselves into the other man so much, it must have hurt.

“I’m here for you, Taehyung. I won’t let you go, I’m here.” Taehyung was still shaking, but being with Hoseok helped. It helped a lot. They stayed like this; still breathing together, while in each other’s arms until Taehyung slowly raised his head. Hoseok was there, right in front of him, gently smiling at him, while stroking his hair and wiping away his tears even though it was futile since his entire face was wet.

“Are you feeling better now?”

Taehyung nodded and took a deep breath that came easy to him now.

“Ye-yes, I’m fine now. I’m sorry all of this just-“

“You don’t have to apologize. Or explain yourself.”

“C-could you go to the café with me?” Hoseok looked worried for a second, but nodded, not asking why and Taehyung was glad. I didn’t know if he’d be able to explain. At least not now. Maybe at some point.

They were both quiet in the bus and Taehyung just stared at the window, not really seeing the scenery passing by. His hand was gripping Hoseok sitting next to him who was watching him closely, but leaving him be for now which was good.

Taehyung wasn’t going to see the café for himself. He did this for Jimin and when they arrived at the scene, Taehyung started crying again at the sight of his and Jimin’s little business. The front of the café seemed unharmed but he could see the entry to the kitchen and what lay beyond. They couldn’t enter since it was probably not safe, but this was more than enough. The kitchen looked like a black hole, as if there was nothing of it left.

“Taehyung…” Hoseok’s voice was quiet next to him and he kept wiping away his tears, but Taehyung couldn’t tear away his eyes from this mess.

“How am I supposed to tell him? This place is everything to him, it’s his dream, what should I do Hoseok? What am I supposed to do?” They stayed quiet after this and Taehyung ended up in the other man’s embrace again where he felt a little warmer and not so helpless.

They returned to the hospital because Taehyung didn’t want to leave Jimin behind, he just couldn’t and they ended up in front of the room again where the others were still waiting. They didn’t say anything when the two of them returned. Seokjin only looked at him, wordlessly asking about his well-being and Taehyung just nodded before sliding down the wall again to sit on the floor. Hoseok did the same and they didn’t hold hands, but their fingers were still touching and at some point Taehyung’s head fell onto his shoulder. He heard Hoseok’s breath evening out, but he didn’t find any sleep himself. He could only stare ahead and repeat how much he hated hospitals.

 

The next day Jimin could already leave again and Taehyung knew he would go to the café first thing. Taehyung would have come with him, but his body and mind were exhausted, he could hardly stand. Yoongi was with him and both of them assured him that it was okay for him to go home. Hoseok came along again, making sure he came home safe and the dancer hesitated at the door.

“Try to sleep for a bit,” he said when Taehyung opened the door, a small smile on his face. He looked just as tired and Taehyung felt bad for all the things he made Hoseok do today. But despite feeling guilty, he still didn’t want him to leave.

“Could… Could you stay? Just… just lie down with me, I just… I don’t want to be alone,” he dared to ask and Hoseok didn’t even hesitate coming inside. They both got out of their shoes and usually Taehyung would have given him a tour, but today he only took his hand and brought them both into his bedroom. They didn’t really change, only got out of their coats and pants until they both lied down in their shirts and boxer shorts and found each other immediately. Taehyung buried his face into Hoseok’s shoulder and they stayed quiet for a while and even though he was so, so tired, he couldn’t sleep and he knew that Hoseok was awake, too.

“I want to tell you something important about myself. It’s something I’ve only told Jimin before. But not today okay?” Hoseok nodded and squeezed him once, his thumb stroking over the small of his back.

“I’ll listen once you are ready.”

 

They did this more often. Just sleeping together in Taehyung’s bed.

Just one day later they had decided to fix the kitchen with the help of their friends. It was really touching how they didn’t even have to ask, how there was a crowd ready to help. The three rappers, their only employee Seokjin, Jimin’s friend Jeongguk, even Taehyung’s neighbor Jackson and his boyfriend Mark came to help and worked almost every day. Of course they also needed money, so Jimin worked as a dance instructor, while Taehyung himself found a job at a local music school where he led a children’s choir.

He had been nervous the first day, but soon found how much he loved to work and sing with kids and some of them were so talented it honestly stole his breath away.

After work in the café or with the choir Hoseok would come over and they would sit on the sofa, both exhausted from the day, and Taehyung would tell him all about it. Hoseok always listened intently and he told him that he loved the way Taehyung’s eyes shined when he talked about music.

They never kissed again after their first date/not-date, only embraced each other in bed while talking for hours, but at some point Taehyung hadn’t buried his head into Hoseok’s neck to sleep and instead had pulled his head closer and he had missed the feeling of kissing Jung Hoseok and he was sure by now that he loved him, maybe always had.

Hoseok was pulling off Taehyung’s shirt, his hand wandering over his chest and his hand looked pale against Taehyung’s darker skin.

“You’re so beautiful, Binggan,” he whispered and leaned down to kiss his chest, right above his heart.

 

Taehyung had a concert with the children from the music school and he was nervous. Firstly, nervous for the children, but he had to keep it together, assure them, stay positive. He was also tired because between his job here and fixing the kitchen, he still went to the hospital because there was no way he could leave those kids behind. Hoseok often worried about him, but those were things Taehyung simply had to do.

But he was also nervous because they wanted him to start with a song on his own and his hands were shaking when he walked on stage with thirty children following behind. There was a quite the crowd there and he knew that all his friends were there, too. He just closed his eyes and took a deep breath, telling himself that he was all alone or just with his kids. An image of Hoseok popped into his mind and he felt himself relax and smile. And then he sang and for the first time in a very, very long time he didn’t hate the sound of his voice.

That night Taehyung went to Hoseok’s apartment, but they still did the same thing. They just talked for a long time, the atmosphere was good and Hoseok kept complimenting him on his and the children’s performance.

“You looked amazing up there, Taehyung.” Taehyung just smiled shyly and shrugged, not knowing what to say. Hoseok became quiet and pecked the corner of his mouth.

“Can I ask you something?” Hoseok’s face stayed close and he was still smiling, but Taehyung saw a little bit of worry in his eyes. He nodded and waited, curious what it could be, but somehow feeling like he knew what was coming.

“You said that the café is Jimin’s dream, but what about yours?”

Taehyung averted his eyes, his fingers were playing with the hem of Hoseok’s shirt as he pondered if he should tell the truth or avoid the question.

It would feel wrong to not honestly answer and he had decided he would tell Hoseok eventually. He took a deep breath which sounded more like a sigh.

“I don’t really have one,” he replied then and Hoseok didn’t say anything, but Taehyung knew he was waiting for more. “I never really had. I mean… I think I had one when I was a little kid. I wanted to sing. Like professionally, but I don’t want that anymore.”

“Was that before we met the first time?” Taehyung nodded and now he figured it would be too late to pull out of this, but he also didn’t want to. He brought some distance between them so he could properly look into Hoseok’s face, but he also grabbed one of his hands to idly play with his fingers while talking.

“I… always loved singing a lot and… I used to do it a lot, too, especially for my mother. She was… really sick, always had been and I used to spend my afternoons to evenings in the hospital with her and most of that time I sang for her. She always told me how much she loved my voice and that it made her feel better. But then she died, almost before my eyes. I was just singing to her and suddenly… I don’t really remember or I don’t want to, I only know that she started coughing and there was blood and I was taken out of the room and that was the last time I saw her. After that I stopped using my voice altogether.”

Hoseok had been quiet but attentive as he listened and a look of understanding appeared on his face.

“That’s why you didn’t talk to me at first. I always thought you were just extremely shy or anxious.”

“Well… kind of. I was anxious, but the sound of my voice really made me sick because it reminded me of my mother. It still does you know. Every time I sing a tune I think of her and when I was younger I couldn’t bear with it. It’s okay now… but I still don’t like the sound of my voice and it’s pretty irrational, I know that. But I think it’s just so deeply rooted into my head that I can’t shake it off.”

It was weird to have said it out loud. The one insecurity that was constantly on his mind which he never dared to tell. Hell, he had been drunk when he told Jimin. But now he was sober and he had wanted to tell Hoseok, just like he had wanted to tell him his name when they were younger.

“You know, you gave me back my voice. That’s why you are so important to me.” Hoseok looked surprised and touched and he raised his hand to stroke Taehyung’s jaw who leaned into it.

“But how? I didn’t even do anything.”

Taehyung shook his head and put his hand over Hoseok’s.

“That’s not true. Do you know how a kid that doesn’t talk is treated? Except of my grandparents, people started to forget about me. I was turning invisible, like a ghost. I was no one. Or they would look at me with pity in their eyes. Some people were even annoyed. But you weren’t. You didn’t care that I wasn’t replying to your questions. You treated me like an equal, a friend, and not some sad kid that lost his mother and was now somehow damaged. I felt good when I was around you, I could smile and for the first time I wanted to talk. This is why I did because when you said you had to leave, but also promised you would find me I was so afraid that you wouldn’t be able to if you didn’t know my name. I wanted you hear my voice. Hoseok, you did so much.”

 

They all celebrated together when they finished the renovations and were able to open the café again. Taehyung had maybe a little too much to drink and he clung onto Hoseok when they walked back to his place together.

They fell onto Hoseok’s bed and he helped Taehyung undress and Taehyung giggled when Hoseok took off his socks, saying he was ticklish which resulted with Hoseok on his lap, tickling his sides.

“Tell me,” Taehyung said once they stopped the tickle war. His head was still fuzzy and he wasn’t sure if it was from the alcohol, the tickling or just Hoseok himself. How could one person be so happy? “Tell me are you mine, Hoseok?”

Hoseok smiled at him like he always did and softly kissed his lips, kissed them better, until none of them could hold their breaths anymore.

“I always was.”

 

“And so we are dating,” Taehyung announced on their opening day and the three rappers were one of their first customers of course and both Jimin and Taehyung were standing at their table.

“Fucking finally,” Yoongi replied and Namjoon nodded, adding a, “we were this close to opening a betting pool on you guys.” They all laughed and Taehyung stroked Hoseok’s head before getting back to work and he kept glancing over to him, both of them locking eyes, until Seokjin slapped him with a wash cloth telling him to take out the orders and not to eye fuck his boyfriend. Sometimes Taehyung thought Seokjin would be a better boss than him. Generally, he felt like he was not that good at his job. Or as good as he wanted to be.

In the evening when he was at Hoseok’s apartment he shared his worries with him, too, and like always his boyfriend listened intently to him.

“I’m sure that neither Jimin or Seokjin feel that way,” he offered at some point and of course Taehyung knew he was right, but he still couldn’t shake off the feeling and also the thoughts that have been on his mind recently, ever since he stopped working at the music school.

“You know… I miss working with the kids. I felt really good doing that,” he admitted when they were already in bed later on and he wasn’t even sure if the man next to him was awake anymore. Taehyung was stroking his naked chest, drawing mindless patterns on it or tapping his fingers to the beat of Hoseok’s heart.

“You looked happy, too,” he replied, awake after all, and Taehyung hesitated before speaking again.

“You know, I really don’t want to sing professionally. I meant it when I said that. I wanted it at some point, but… I don’t know… teaching music was really fun.”

“Maybe you should talk to Jimin about this.”

 

Taehyung did eventually. Hoseok wasn’t pushing him, knowing that Taehyung would go at his own pace, that he just needed time and to muster the confidence to do it.

And he felt like he would be ready that day. He would go to sing for the kids in the hospital and then catch Jimin when he’d be closing up the café and then just tell him everything.

He didn’t, though, in the end. Because when he arrived at the ward he was surprised not to find Taekyung. He didn’t think about it at first. It wasn’t the first time that she hadn’t been around, having an examination or a test.

But when he was on his way out, he passed her room and found it empty. Empty of herself and all her belongings and his heart was pumping loudly in his chest when he hurried to the head nurse to ask about her. Maybe she was moved to a different room or even different hospital. Her parents had been talking about going abroad to a specialist, yes, maybe they finally made it. He was holding into those thoughts. He just had to.

When he asked, however, and the head nurse’s face fell he knew what had really happened and Taehyung didn’t even remember how he exited the hospital, how he got onto the bus and ended up in front of Hoseok’s apartment. But of course no one was there, Hoseok was still at the dance studio, so all Taehyung could do was to sit in front of his door and wait, feeling numb.

He should know better. And it wasn’t even the first time a child had lost their life during his time in the ward. But Taekyung had been special. She had been there ever since the beginning and today he had wanted to tell her that he was thinking of becoming a music teacher. Wanted her to get better so she could become his student, maybe. Or just better. He had cared greatly for Taekyung.

Hoseok found him three hours later, rushing to his side and asking what was wrong and all Taehyung could do was fall into his boyfriend’s arms and cry, apologizing that he always ended up this way.

They went inside and Taehyung told him what had happened after he had calmed down and Hoseok held him for a long time, held him so close, kissed him all over and better. He wiped away the tears from his face – again and again – and at least, Taehyung thought, at least he had found someone so precious and so incredible.

 

Taehyung received an invitation for a funeral set one week later and he asked Hoseok to come with him. Taekyung’s mother had contacted him and asked him to sing for her little daughter one last time and how could he say no to that.

He couldn’t swallow down the tears when they stood around Taekyung on the graveyard, when his voice dipped lower than usual, when it even broke sometimes, but he didn’t stop until it was over, he sang Taekyung’s favorite song until the very end.

Don't be so sad darling, I don't think I'd agree, I have to tell you something, Moon; we're all just dust, you see? I've been around the universe, I've seen a lot of things, but now that I have met you dear, my heart, it truly sings.” As he sang he remembered how the little girl would chant this line loudly, her favorite one, and Taehyung really understood now because the song was right. They all were just dust, so easily blown away. He looked up to find Hoseok’s eyes on him, finding even a little tear falling down his cheek.

Taekyung’s parents thanked him greatly and hugged him close, telling him how he had made her last months so beautiful and wroth living, and he didn’t know if it was true, but he would love to believe it.

“Hoseok,” they were on their way home when Taehyung first spoke up again. “I want to talk to Jimin. As soon as possible.”

And so he did. They met up the next day and Taehyung told him everything. Told him how he really met Hoseok all those years ago. Told him about his time in the children’s ward. Told him about his worries and his thoughts and he told him that he wanted to go back to school because he wanted to work with music and with children. He showed him that he found out that he could become a children’s therapist who worked with music. That he could do what he had done for the past year professionally, could sing and make music with children for them to learn or just for them to feel better.

Jimin only smiled at him and admitted that he knew about the hospital all along and somehow Taehyung wasn’t even surprised. Jimin hugged him close, told him that he was so happy that he would finally chase his own dream.

“You made my dream possible. Now I will do everything so you will get yours, too.”

Taehyung thought he was lucky. So, so lucky to have such a friend that would stand by his side through everything.

That he had found his true love (again) which he would never let go of.

And a dream, a path to follow.

Notes:

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