There are two boys very slowly making the trek up to the Hale house.
“Twenty in how they’ll quit midway,” Aunt Lexie calls out, head tilted so she can hear the boys’ conversation.
Laura gets up, jumps over the little hurdle Derek’s legs are acting as between the couch and coffee table and snatches the money out of Aunt Lexie’s hands.
“Twenty in how they’ll make it,” Uncle Peter calls out, boredly flipping through a book. Derek’s not really sure what the book is about but there is a bare chested man with long hair and a dainty damsel on the cover so he can only guess.
Laura collects the money he puts on the table and grins sharply. “Pleasure making business with you. Anyone else want to place bets?”
Derek’s dad shouts from the greenhouse that he has ten in how they’ll make it and Laura goes over to collect.
If his sister decides to quit college and turn into a loan shark, no one in their family would be surprised.
Derek sighs and boredly stuffs a handful of gummi bears in his mouth, straight out of a Halloween candy bowl Aunt Olivia insists in buying every year even if they never get trick or treaters this far into the woods.
He tilts his head and tunes back into the boys’ conversation, which has been the prime time entertainment of the Hales for the past ten minutes or so.
“It’s dark,” one of the boys whines.
“Don’t be a baby, Scott,” the second chastises.
“But, I don’t wanna,” Scott whines, like a baby.
They can’t be that old, especially given that fact that their voices still go abnormally high and how long they’re taking to get here. Like their legs are too short to carry them this far. Derek idly wonders where their parents are and if they should call the Sheriff or something.
“It’s our honor that’s at stake here Scott! We must do what no eleven year old has done before,” the second boy declares, and Derek think his name is Stiles but he can’t be sure. Maybe he’s misheard over the rustling of the wind, after all who would be terrible enough to name their child Stiles.
“Get murdered in the middle of the woods?” Scott asks and Aunt Lexis starts giggling.
“It wasn’t that funny,” Derek tells her.
“Don’t be bitter, Der. Eat some chocolate.”
He rolls his eyes and shoves a Mars bar in his mouth.
“No, dummy. We’re going trick or treating at the Hale house. You know that.”
“You hear that, Derek. Better not eat all the candy. Olivia will be pissed if she hears that there were trick or treaters here and we didn’t have any candy because you ate it all.”
He sticks his tongue out and very much intends to continue eating all the candy when the bowl is suddenly ripped from his lap and Aunt Olivia glares at him, standing behind the couch with her lips pressed and a face that screams thunder.
“Sorry, Aunt Olivia,” he intones and receives a shake of her head and a hand ruffling through his hair, because Aunt Olivia is as sweet as the candy she likes to put in that bowl.
“This is for the kids, Derek. If you wanted Halloween candy, you could’ve gone trick or treating with your cousins and siblings.”
He shrugs. He didn’t really feel like going out that much since- since Paige. Besides he likes spending time lazing around the living room with his family.
“I’m good here.”
Aunt Emily shushes them. “I can’t hear anything with y’all talking. I have money on this.”
They quiet down and tune back into the boys’ conversation.
“Can we not? It’s dangerous, Stiles!”
Huh, turns out someone was terrible enough to name their kid Stiles.
“I told Jackson we could do it so now we have to or do you want to be made fun of for the rest of our entire lives!”
Scott sniffles, or at least that’s what sounds like he’s doing. He could be snorting coke for all Derek knows.
“Right. You don’t. So we have to do this,” Stiles declares. “And you won’t have to worry about the deep dark woods. I’ll protect you,” he assures, and a round of awww’s passes through the residents of the Hale house.
A dog woofs, seemingly in concordance and Uncle Michael comes crashing down the stairs.
“Was that a puppy?”
His wife shushes him.
“Roxy too, obviously,” Stiles adds and well that answers that. There is a puppy.
Uncle Michael sits on the couch and throws an arm over Aunt Emily.
“Weren’t you working on taking care of the bills?” his wife asks, turning her head to him and kissing his cheek.
“This is more important. I needed a break anyway.”
Aunt Lexi is the one shushing them, but even when they quiet down, they can’t hear the boys’ voices, only the crunch of twigs and leaves and dirt over light feet.
“Peter’s gonna win,” he calls. They seem brave enough to make it all the way up here.
Aunt Lexie tightens her jaw. “Not if I can help it.” She stands up like she’s about to go and punch a house down and then announces. “Who wants to scare two eleven year olds with me?”
Derek shrugs. “I’m down.”
“Alexis!” Aunt Olivia chastises, but gets easily dismissed when Aunt Lexie kisses her on the mouth and climbs up the stairs to call Aunt Lyris who will probably play along. Peter would too if he didn’t have money on it.
“We should ask Aunt Mai,” he suggest and Aunt Lexie’s face lights up.
“Yes, who better to scare little children than the ancient forces of evil.”
Aunt Mai and Uncle Peter’s room door bangs open and Aunt Mai emerges with a green face mask clinging to her skin and a flowery robe.
“You summoned me?”
Aunt Lexie rubs her hands together. “Perfect.”
They don’t do anything too elaborate, contenting themselves with turning off all the lights in the house and flickering the one in the attic every five minutes or so.
“Honestly, Derek,” his mother tuts. It’s like you’re five again. “You’re gonna scare those boys to death.”
Aunt Lexie pokes her head through the doorway and grins at Derek’s mom. “Bet you ten bucks in how Scott pisses himself.”
Talia squints. “Twenty in how he runs away screaming.”
“You’re on big sis!”
Derek smirks. “And you wonder why all of your kids turn out how they do.”
“Hush, you. I have to go howl ominously to win a beat.”
Derek shakes his head and strains his ear to hear how far the boys are.
“Stiles,” Scott is whining. “What if they eat us Stiles?”
Derek exchanges a glance with Laura who’s been watching them putter around the house slamming windows and flickering lights.
“Don’t be silly, Scott. The Hales don’t eat people.”
“How do you know that?”
There’s a beat of silence and Derek can see from his window the shape of two boys standing a good couple of meters outside the Hale house, a flashlight surveying the windows.
“They’re nice. Ish. Nice-ish people probably don’t eat other people.”
“But they’re so weird.”
Derek would like to go on record that he is personally offended by this statement.
They are not weird. They’re peculiar, at worst.
Aunt Mai squints at the boys and turns to Derek, declaring, “You’re on jumpscare duty.”
“I think that’s a little-“
“Do it or I’ll leave you babysitting Malia for two days straight.”
Derek huffs and stomps downstairs.
“I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason for them to be weird.”
“Maybe they’re secret super heroes and are weird because they don’t want anyone to know their secret identity.” Derek presses his lips together. He’s anything but a superhero. He guesses the same doesn’t apply to the rest of his family what with the spontaneous saving of random citizens.
He still remembers the hours of questioning about how exactly Uncle Michael had managed to pull that van out of the river with his bare hands.
“Or maybe they’re nice mythical creatures. Like werewolves!”
Derek startles so badly he falls down the stairs.
“Maybe we should go back. We’re trespassing, Stiles.”
“No such thing for kids on Halloween.” Stiles declares and Derek can hear him starting to climb up the front steps.
“Derek, go do it!” Aunt Lexie urges and Derek is not quite sure of how wise that actually is but he throws the door open before the kids can even knock and roars at them, eyes flashing electric blue and fangs popping out.
He’s fully expecting the loud squealing and sounds of stumbling and candy baskets hitting the floor, what he was not expecting however was the bat to the back of his knees that sends him stumbling and suddenly he’s blinking dumbfounded at the ceiling.
“They’re gonna eat us!” Scott cries out.
“Ohmygod that was so cool!”
“What,” Derek mutters at the ceiling, because what.
“Hey mister, are you alright?” One of the boys asks, stepping closer and peering down at Derek, little upturned nose twitching as he swings his bat to lay it on his shoulder.
“Stiles! You’re gonna get killed.”
The boy that’s staring down at Derek snorts. “Pretty boys can’t kill me.”
“Pretty boys?” Derek asks, and honestly. He’s not pretty. He’s- well. Alright looking.
Someone starts wheezing in laughter from the living room and Derek bets all of his money that it’s Laura.
His mother is telling Aunt Lexie to come fix the mess she’s made.
“You’re pretty crappy for a werewolf, aren’t you?” Stiles, he assumes, asks and brings his bat down to poke Derek in the ribs with it.
Derek bares his teeth and swats it away. Uncle Peter just fell off the couch with laughter.
“Stiles!” Scott squeaks, stumbling back and pulling a slightly shaking Roxy with him.
He gets up and feels a little bit of his dignity come back when he towers over the younger boy.
Someone claps their hands and Derek turns to see Aunt Alexis and Aunt Olivia come their way.
“Boys, please. Now that we scared the boys with some quality special effects, it’s time for candy.”
“Special effects?” Stiles says doubtfully.
“Of course,” Aunt Lexie starts and Aunt Olivia covers her mouth with one hand. “You didn’t think werewolves are actually real, did you?”
Stiles looks over at Scott and grins.
“You hear that Scotty? It was just special effects. Magical beings aren’t real, obviously. Right?”
Derek raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest because there’s something wrong here.
Aunt Olivia starts giggling.
Definitely something wrong.
“Right,” Aunt Alexis says slowly, eyeing her giggling girlfriend.
“Hear that Scotty? No one here is real. This is all a dream.”
Scott huffs, relaxing a little bit.
“Stiles, stop making fun of the werewolves.”
Stiles pouts. “You never let me have fun,” he says before turning and waving at Aunt Olivia. “Hi ‘Livie!”
Derek’s aunt takes the hand from her mouth and waves. “Hi, Stiles.”
“So do you have candy?”
“In the living room.”
“Cool,” Stiles says, grabbing Scott by the sleeve of his shirt and dragging him inside.
“Wait,” Aunt Alexis says, confused. “You know him?”
“I told you I was teaching a young spark since Deaton seems to refuse to intervene whatsoever.”
“He’s the kid whose mother you saved last year?”
“Yup, glad our roadtrip got cancelled. I don’t even want to think of what would happen if I hadn’t caught Ms. Stilinski’s magic sickness on time.” Her eyes glaze over for a second and she shivers.
Aunt Lexie touches her arm and gently brings her back from whatever she was seeing.
“Ohmygod,” Laura squeals from the living room. “Can we keep him?”
“I’m not a stray puppy,” he hears Stiles complain and moves to the living room to investigate.
“Scott is the stray puppy!”
“Hey!” Scott protests and Derek walks in the living room just in time to see Stiles tug at the floppy dog ears perched on top of Scott’s head.
“You’re literally a dog, Scotty.”
“And what are you supposed to be?” Derek asks, eyeing the loose red hoodie and the permanent marker drawings all over the boy’s hands and neck.
Stiles grins smartly at him. “I’m a delinquent.”
Laura throws an arm over his shoulder and touches her cheek with Stiles’. “We’re definitely keeping him.”
It’s almost an hour later until someone comes by to pick up Stiles and Scott up since everyone absolutely refuses to let them go back home alone and by then Stiles and Scott have finished Derek’s candy and basically won the hearts of his entire family.
A car honks in front of their house and Stiles and Scott hop off the couch.
“Derek, be a sweetheart and deliver the boys to the Sheriff, would you?”
Derek sighs but herds both of them out the front door, Scott practically running off with Roxy on his heels and Stiles by Derek’s side, hanging close.
“Thanks for not clawing my face when I hit you with my bat.”
“I’m not a monster. And I don’t hit tiny children.”
“Tiny is your-“
“I was gonna say your IQ, perv.”
Derek cuffs him on the back of the head. Over the hour they spent together he think he’s earned the right.
Scott is already inside the cruiser with Roxy comfortably in his lap. The Sheriff waves at them from the passenger sit and Derek is ready to send Stiles off when a hand twists in the bottom of his shirt and Stiles looks seriously up at him, his eyes looking a little far away.
“You know, I’m gonna marry you some day.”
Derek opens his mouth a little stunned.
Stiles shakes his head and smirks. “I like your eyes when they flash. Blue’s just pretty, pretty boy.”
“What,” Derek repeats without any inflection.
Stiles throws a wave over his shoulder and climbs into the cruiser, the car kicking into gear and peeling away barely five seconds later.
Laura pokes her head through the door and asks what’s taking him so long.
“I think an eleven year old just proposed to me.”
There’s a beat of silence before the loud crash of something breaking as one of his family members falls over with laughter. Hard to say which since they all seem to be laughing at Derek right now.
(“Why are we doing this again?”
“Because we love each other very much, Derek.”
“I thought it was because you proposed to me when you were eleven.”
Stiles huffs a laughter and fixes Derek’s tie.
Derek makes a face at the mirror. “Why did we pick this color for the ties anyway? It looks terrible.”
“Don’t be grumpy, pretty boy. I think blue is the prettiest. Always have.”)