You did the right thing.
You did what the Commander is supposed to do – you saved your people. You did the right thing.
You decided this with your head, not your heart. It feels so wrong.
You’re walking through the forest surrounded by your warriors. Your pace isn’t as fast as you would have preferred it to be; the rescued are weak and slow you down. It is close to midnight, so the forest is dark and quiet. Walking that slowly in the silence, surrounded by darkness and nothing to distract you with gives you too much time to think.
You think about her devastated plea to stay with her and you feel her pain in your heart.
You think about the tears in those deep, blue eyes and you think you can taste the salt on your lips.
You think about her dead form lying between her people, her face and lips covered in blood and you think you taste the copper.
Your chest clenches around your heart. You stop walking. You can’t breathe. You can’t move. “Heda.” Commander. You have stilled in your stride and your people have stilled as well. You look around. They would follow you anywhere. They are your people. You are responsible for every single one of them.
Indra is standing beside you. “Heda, osir souda gyon au.” Commander, we should move on. Yes. You should move. But into a different direction.
“Indra, teik ai kru houm.” Indra, take my people home.
“Sha, Heda.” Yes, Commander. “Yu gaf in ai konge em?” Do you want me to call for her? You take a deep breath and stretch your fingers. You know you may not come back and there is only one person to take over your place until the spirit choses its next vessel and the new Commander.
“Sha.” Yes. Minutes later you are moving fast and silently through the forest. You know that you are gambling your life. You know that you are risking another war with the Mountain Men. You know you are not acting like the Commander of the twelve clans should act.
You make this decision with your heart, not your head. It feels right. You are doing the right thing.
Kom wor! (To war!) November 1st 2149
Today, Mount Weather
You enter the mountain through the reaper tunnels. You are sure that they won’t look too closely down here since Clarke and her people blew up the front door. You are cautious anyway. You can’t hide your grin when you step over a dead guard down the corridor inside the mountain. Octavia will be a great warrior. You can read the wounds like you could read her handwriting. She is still sloppy, but effective.
You stealth around the corridors, following trails, mostly of blood and broken doors; your sword ready to slide through flesh and bones. When you turn around another corner you see light and you hear voices. You close your eyes and concentrate. There is a slight smile of relief on your lips.
Years ago, Forest near Ton DC
You were not even ten years old when Anya woke you up in the middle of the night to take you to the woods for the first time. “Lexa, sen in.” Lexa, listen.
“Sha.” Yes. You stood blindfolded in the middle of the forest and she attacked you repeatedly. You were sore and bruised and covered in dirt this night and every night that followed.
It took you weeks to get to a level where you could hear her approaching. You still remember the proud look on her face when you dodged her attack for the first time. You were so happy you threw mud at her, which you regretted deeply after she shoved you face first into a puddle of mud.
“Hod yu rein daun, Lexa.” Mind your place, Lexa.
Today, Mount Weather
You hear a gun being loaded and Clarke hissing in pain. Your mind goes blank and you leap forward.
You run around the corner, your sword raised over your head and you jump over Clarke, who is kneeling wounded before a man who is aiming a gun to her head and bury your sword deep into his chest. He falls down on his back and you land with your feet on his chest. You feel his ribs breaking. He looks at you. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” Your fight is over. You turn your sword which is still stuck in his chest, followed by a cracking sound and a dying breath. You turn around and look at Clarke, one hand still on your sword the other outstretched towards her. “Clarke.”
Her eyes are wide and her lips are trembling. “Lexa?” She tries to stand up. You pull your sword out and take the guards gun before you walk over to help her up. “What are you doing here?”
You look into her eyes and search for words when two other guards enter the room. Clarke is in no condition to fight. You hand her the gun and position yourself between her and the men. “We had a deal, Commander.”
“Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op.” Attack her and you attack me. You take a deep breath. “Em ste ai kwin.” She is my queen. You feel Clarke catching her breath. She understood. She learns fast. You crouch down the second Clarke raises her gun and fires at the guard closest to you. As soon as he is falling to the ground you leap and kill the other. You turn around without looking at her, you can’t get lost in her eyes now. “We need to get your people and leave.”
“Where is your army, Lexa?”
“I came back alone. I have to protect my people, Clarke. I can’t sacrifice their lives for….” my selfish love for you. You take another deep breath before you finally look into her eyes, well aware that it may break you. “All I can offer you is my life and this I do willingly.”
She hesitates before she nods at you, only once, with softened eyes. She regains her focus within a moment. “We will talk about this when we have saved my people and are out of here alive.” She starts to move and you see her struggle.
You step to her side to offer her support, she hesitates again, but she adjusts herself around your arm once you lay it around her waist and help her walk. As soon as you leave the room, Octavia comes running around the corner.
“Clarke!” she stops the second she sees you. “Heda?” Commander. She crouches, ready to pick up a fight she can’t possibly win. The determination in her eyes impresses you.
“No Octavia! She is here to help us.” Octavia relaxes, her eyes still on you, weary and to a certain level filled with fear. “We need to find the others. Where is Bellamy?”
Octavia relaxes and sheathes her sword. “In the control room. Follow me.”
Today, Mount Weather
The gash in your side hurts. Lexa still carries most of your weight while you are following Octavia. When you enter the control room, Bellamy jumps up and runs towards you.
“Clarke! Are you okay?” He tries to hug you, but Lexa tightens her grip. You know she won’t let go of you for anything or anyone and you have to admit to yourself that you don’t want her to.
“I got her.” Lexa’s voice makes it very clear that she will not leave you out of her reach and Bellamy backs off with his hands raised. You can’t find it in you to feel sorry for him. “What information can you provide?” You look at Lexa, feeling a warmth in your chest and you need to remind yourself to not do this right now and focus back on Bellamy.
“We have full view from here. Most of our people are in one of the ground floors with a bunch of guards. Abby, Kane and a few others are in the harvest chamber.”
You furrow. “Where is Raven?”
“We lost contact after the explosion, but we heard them talking about her. We guess that they are taking her to the harvest chamber to take what they can get as long as she is alive… I think she is injured.” He bows his head.
You distance yourself from Lexa to stand on your own feet. You appreciate that she lets you, although her arm still hovers over your waist. “Lexa.”
“Clarke.” She looks at you and all you see is devotion and resolve. If you would tell her to get you the moon she would die trying.
“We need to get my mom and Raven out. If they want to harvest them, they won’t survive.”
You furrow and try to calculate your options. “We need to keep the control room. Bellamy, you stay here and keep us in the loop about what is happening. Octavia and I are going to the harvest chamber. Lexa, you try to get to the others.”
“Ai nou bants yu.” I won’t leave you.
“Em pleni, beja.” Enough, please. She steps closer and looks deep into your eyes. “Ai badan op yu en nou moun.” I serve you and no other. “I know you want to save your people, Clarke, but we are not enough to save them all at once. We need to stay together and gather your people one by one.”
You raise your chin in defiance, but you listen. She is the Commander of the twelve clans. She knows how to win a war.
“Bellamy will stay here with you. Octavia and I will head to the harvest chamber and free the hostages.”
Before you are able to protest, Lexa raises her hand and continues. “You are wounded. You will only slow us down. Octavia is a Trikru warrior”, Octavia squares her shoulders, “and I am Heda. We have better chances with you staying here.”
You know she is right. You also know she hates to leave you here, but you see that there is no better option. At least none that makes any sense. “Okay.” You try to smile, it doesn’t work. Lexa nods once at you and gives Octavia a side look. She nods back and places herself at Lexa’s side. You want to reach for Lexa. You hesitate, she turns and starts walking out of the room. “Lexa, set raun.” Lexa, wait.
Lexa stills, but does not turn around. “Sha, chit?” Yes, what?
“Ste yuj.” Stay strong.
“Wich in ai uf. Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim.” Believe in my strength. May we meet again. She leaves without turning or waiting for your answer.
Bellamy steps beside you. “What the hell did she just say?”
You smile. “May we meet again.”
Today, Mount Weather
Octavia is more used to move around in narrow corridors and rooms and different floors than you are, so you let her lead the way. This is her territory more than yours. You only meet one group of guards and you make quick work of them.
“Indra kicked me out. I am no longer her second or a Trikru. I don’t want to hide this from you.”
“I know. It doesn’t matter now.”
Octavia nods and signals that you are close. You crouch and tighten the grip on your sword. You sneak forward and hear voices.
“Please, she is a mechanic and of great value. I could save her if you would just-“
“Shut up! She is as good as dead and as long as she is alive we can extract what’s of value for us.”
Octavia tenses, ready to storm off. You hold her back and shake your head. She hesitates, but submits after a few seconds. You know that she is good, but you can make out at least four guards and six of Clarke’s people. If you want to save most of them, you have to strike with a clear head. You move forward and crouch around the corner.
Years ago, Forest near Ton DC
“Lexa, break ai au.” Lexa, free me.
Anya was sitting on a tree trunk with crossed legs, her chin resting on her hand. You still feel the anger inside you about her smug grin.
She was so sure you would fail miserably.
You were hiding behind a tree, at the age of eleven and four Trikru warriors were surrounding Anya.
It was training. Free your people.
You knew what to do, but you have honestly not a single memory about how you did.
You remember Anya looking at you with wide eyes and four grown Trikru warriors laying on the ground groaning in pain.
“Yu laik Heda, Lexa.” You are the Commander, Lexa.
On that day everyone knew that you indeed are the mightiest Commander there ever was.
Today, Mount Weather
You take a deep breath and calm your thoughts. You let your instincts guide you, you let the spirit take over with all of the experiences and skills of the Commanders before you. You leap into the room and bury your sword in the heart of the first guard while you roll over and throw your dagger into the throat of the one holding Raven down. You jump up, turn midair and slit the throat of the third. This all happens in one flowing movement. You hear Octavia killing the fourth guard. You scan your surroundings. All clear.
“Raven!” Octavia runs over to her friend. “For fuck’s sake Raven, don’t die on me now.”
“Get out of my way, Octavia.” Clarke’s mother shoves her aside and starts examining Ravens wounds. “What is SHE doing here?” She motions towards you and her voice seethes with anger.
“Obviously saving your sorry ass, Abby.” You smile at the tone of Octavia’s voice.
Abby is about to answer, but you really have no time for this banter now. “We need to move.”
“We can’t move her like that… but you don’t care, do you?” Abby doesn’t look at you. She applies bandages to Raven’s wounds.
Octavia rolls her eyes and throws her hands in the air. It looks funny. “Just fix Raven up and stop bitching, Abby.”
“We need to move or we will all die.” You look around and see a cot with wheels. “Move her with this. We will take you back to the control room. You!” You face the other sky people. “Take the guard’s weapons and try not to kill your own people.”
Octavia leads your convoy, you secure the back. When you are close to the control room, Bellamy is approaching.
“Abby!” He runs towards her.
You feel anger rising in your stomach. This useless branwada. Fool. You pass the convoy and hurry back to the control room, back to Clarke. Octavia follows you.
You are around the corner when you hear the shot. You want to scream. You run faster.
You curse under your breath and speed up again when you hear the second shot. You feel despair.
You leap into the control room and see Clarke laying on her back on the floor. She has afresh wound in her shoulder. Cage Wallace kneels over her, his hands around her neck. He is bleeding too. There is no hesitation when you grip his collar and pull him off Clarke. She is coughing. She will be okay.
You throw him a few feet away against a wall. You tighten the grip around your sword and press the blade against his throat. He does not move. You wait until Clarke stops coughing. You look at her for a second. “Clarke.”
“Lexa, he did something at the controls. I don’t know what.” You see panic in her eyes.
You furrow. “Speak true or die.”
“It doesn’t matter. We will all be dead in a few minutes.” He starts laughing. He lost his mind.
The others approach the room. One of the 100 you saved hurries up to the controls. After a few seconds he falls back in a chair. “Guys, we have a problem.” The others grow silent. You listen, but you do not take your eyes off Cage. “The contamination protocol is active and running.”
Bellamy sounds annoyed and nervous. “English please?”
“The contamination protocol draws life support off the affected floors. The protocol was overwritten, it will draw life support of all floors.”
Clarke is getting up with some help and walks over to Monty. “Can you stop it?”
You hear him typing. After a while he stops. “No, I can’t. And we have an even bigger problem. Someone redirected the acid fog into the air systems.”
Clarke answers. “Monty, the fog is gone. Bellamy took care of it.”
“No, it’s not.” Raven is sitting up. “There is another tank at the dam. We couldn’t risk to damage it while we took out the generators. It is still intact.”
You feel the despair in the room. Raven continues. “The biggest problem is that it is obviously not the same fog we know. And that fucking tank is fucking huge.”
Monty is typing again. “Okay, it seems to be a more aggressive version of it.” You hear him swallow. “A version that does not disintegrate.”
Clarke’s voice gives her fear away. “What does that mean?”
Monty sighs. “The fog will fill up the mountain, everyone in here will die. It will not disintegrate, which means it will eventually spread out of the mountain and if that tank is as big as Raven says, it will move with the weather and at some point, reach the Ark, Ton DC and who knows what else. It will kill thousands if not more.”