Chapter Text
When Cooper steps into McKinley High he has two goals in mind: meet his younger siblings' significant others and embarrass his younger siblings. He's been treated to preparatory texts from his siblings (texts from Blaine that babble about his boyfriend and texts from Santana full of explicit threats of what will happen if he embarrasses them in any way) so he knows exactly how to embarrass them the most. He's also quite excited to meet the people who have accepted his little siblings and made them so happy.
"Hey, squirt!" Cooper says, walking up to his little brother, who is standing next to an impeccably-dressed boy that he's directing his heart-eyes at.
"Hey, Coop!" Blaine says, and hugs his brother. "I haven't seen you in forever!"
Coop raises an eyebrow over Blaine's shoulder at the boy behind him, who's eyeing Cooper with an analytical eye. "So, you must be Kurt, the Boy-With-The-Beautiful-Voice-Who-Blaine's-Going-To-Marry-Someday-He-Swears."
Blaine leaps away from Cooper, cheeks flaming red even as Kurt laughs. "Yeah, that's me. And you must be the infamous Cooper Anderson."
"Guilty as charged," Cooper admits with a wink. "So, where's Diabla?"
"Probably off with Brittany somewhere while she has a few moments before glee."
"Oh, that's right- glee! Do you mind if I tag along to meet all your little amigos?" Cooper grins at how the blush in Blaine's cheeks gets even redder.
"Dios, Coop!" Blaine exclaims, "Can you ever keep yourself from embarrassing me?"
"Nope," Cooper admits with a cheesy grin.
Blaine rolls his eyes, sighing. "Come with us, we're heading to glee anyway. Maybe you can contain yourself, though I doubt it."
*
"Santana," Brittany says as Cooper, Blaine, and Kurt enter the choir room, "Is that your Big Bird?"
Santana looks up from her phone to see Cooper giving her a blindingly white smile from the door and smirks. "Hola, Queso. ¿Como estas?"
"Bien, Diabla," Cooper says with a grin, walking toward her. He pauses in front of Brittany, who is snuggled into Santana's side. "Is this the lovely Brittany?" He takes Brittany's hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles.
She giggles, then looks back at Santana and says "Even though I like your lady-kisses better, he's funny."
Santana resists the urge to grin. Instead she glares at her older brother and says, "Don't flirt with my girlfriend, Queso."
He lets out a dramatic gasp, his hand flying to his heart. "Diabla, you wound me!"
She rolls her eyes. "Seriamente, Queso?"
Mr. Schue walks over. "Who's this, Santana?"
"That charming" this is said with lots of sarcasm "man is our older brother Cooper," Blaine interjects.
Everyone is surprised that Santana and Blaine's older brother is the guy from the Free Credit commercials.
"Any other secret family relationships you want to tell us about, guys?" Sam asks.
"Sofia Vergara's our cousin," Santana responds quickly, and the New Directions gasp.
"Really?" Sugar asks, eyes wide.
"No, she's just kidding," Blaine says with a laugh, "Cooper and Santana are my only surprise relatives."
"Well," Mr. Schue says, "Would you three like to sing something for us?"
"I'm always ready to perform," Santana says.
"How about some Duran-Duran?" Cooper asks hopefully.
Santana sighs, but it's obviously a sigh of loving exasperation more than genuine irritation. "You and your Duran-Duran obsession. Seriamente, do you ever think about anything other than that band and yourself?" It's obvious that she's teasing him as the there's no bite to it. It still amazes the New Directions to see Santana interacting with people without tearing them a new one with the force of her insults.
They're still not even completely used to her talking so nicely to Blaine, treating someone other than Brittany like they're an actual human being.
Blaine and Cooper
Darken the city, night is a wire
Steam in the subway, earth is a fire
Santana, Blaine, and Cooper
Do dododo dododo dododo dododo doo doo
Santana and Cooper
Woman, you want me, give me a sign
And catch my breathing even closer behind
Santana, Blaine, and Cooper
Do dododo dododo dododo dododo doo doo
Cooper
Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand
Santana and Blaine
(Smell like I sound!)
Cooper
Just like that river twisting through a dusty land
Santana and Blaine
(Straddle the line!)
Cooper
And when she shines she really shows you all she can
Santana and Blaine
(Mouth is alive!)
Cooper
Oh Rio, Rio dance across the Rio Grande
Blaine and Cooper
Stalked in the forest, too close to hide
I'll be upon you by the moonlight side
Santana, Blaine, and Cooper
Do dododo dododo dododo dododo doo doo
Santana and Cooper
High blood drumming on your skin, it's so tight
You feel my heat, I'm just a moment behind
Santana, Blaine, and Cooper
Do dododo dododo dododo dododo doo doo
Cooper
Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand
Santana and Blaine
(Smell like I sound!)
Cooper
Just like that river twisting through a dusty land
Santana and Blaine
(Straddle the line!)
Cooper
And when she shines she really shows you all she can
Santana and Blaine
(Mouth is alive!)
Cooper
Oh Rio, Rio dance across the Rio Grande
Cooper and Blaine
Hungry like the wolf, I'm hungry like the wolf, hungry like the wolf
Santana and Blaine
(Don't make a sound!)
Cooper
Her name is Rio she don't need to understand
Santana and Blaine
(Smell like I sound!)
Cooper
And I might find her if I'm looking like I can
Santana and Blaine
(Straddle the line!)
(Santana) Cooper
(Ohhhh) Rio, Rio hear them shout across the land
Santana and Blaine
(Mouth is alive!)
Cooper
From mountains in the north down to the Rio Grande
Her name is Rio she don't need to understand
Santana and Blaine
(Smell like I sound!)
Santana, Blaine, and Cooper
From mountains in the north down to the Rio Grande
Fightin' the ground!
The song ends with the three of them in the middle of the room, three people who look incredibly different (who are completely different), yet there's no denying that they're family. They dance together, sing together, like they've been doing it for ages. There's a level of comfort between them that makes the New Directions wonder how they ever didn't believe Santana and Blaine when they said they were siblings.
The three take bows to fervent applause from the New Directions, and then Blaine and Santana find their seats back next to Kurt and Brittany respectively. Cooper plops down in the seat next to Blaine, behind Santana. "Tonight we've totally gotta have dinner with Kurt and Brittany," he says to Blaine as the clapping dies down, "I need to interrogate the the people who have stolen my younger siblings' hearts."
Blaine leans over to Kurt. "You're staying as far away from my family as possible this evening," he says seriously, and Kurt smiles.
"Amazing job up there," he says, taking Blaine's hand in his.
"Thanks," he replies, "I always have fun performing with 'Tana and Coop. We don't get to see him that often and every time he comes we try to do something like this."
"I can't wait for dinner, then- he sounds like a great guy." Kurt grins. "I especially can't wait for him to tell me all kinds of stories about you as a child. I'm sure he has plenty that your mama and Santana haven't covered yet."
"Kurt!"