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How Many Days Can Make up a Lifetime

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It was just an average day on a meteor that was flying through the void. The events about to take place would change Karkat Vantas’ life forever.


 

The dark meteor was unnervingly still for a rock that was flying at the speed of light. No one was in the halls, they were unusually quiet that day. Everyone was minding their own business, isolating themselves to their own rooms, enjoying the peace and quiet that would not last.


You were alone in your room, trying to pass the time on this god forsaken rock. It hadn’t even been one sweep since you and the other trolls had set off for the new session. And god were you sick of it. The longer you were on the meteor, the more you worried about meeting the humans. You wondered how much they had changed. Would they be the same? One and a half sweeps was a long time, a lot could change. 

A sudden beep from your husktop snaps you out of thought causing you to jump out of your chair, sickle in hand and teeth baring. You looked around your room only to find it empty. Your husktop beeps a second time, sighing you put down your sickle. Always being on your guard was tiring, draining, but that was the price to pay for being you. The price of living, always allowing that color to flow through your veins. You suppose maybe one day you wont always have to be on guard. It was true your friends could care less about it, but that color would always send fear down your spine. Maybe one day you could change, but it seemed unlikely.

There was a third beep, and then a forth, and a fifth. Holy ever living fuck, who ever was messaging you desperately wanted your attention. Slowly sitting back down in your chair you open up Trollian seeing what impatient bulging migraine wanted to talk to you now. You couldn't help but roll your eyes.

 

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GC: YO BULG3MUNCH, 1 N33D TO T4LK TO YOU

GC: KK

GC: PL34S3 R3SPOND. P4US3 YOUR 4WFUL ROMCOM FOR TWO M1NUT3S

GC: OH GOG OH GOG, FUCK

GC: K4RK4T P34S3 R3SPOND!

CG: SWEET ALMIGHTY TAINTCHAFING FUCK TEREZI

CG: WHAT IS IT?

GC: 1 TH1NK G4MZ33 1S GO1NG TO GO ON 4NOTH3R MURD3R R4MP4G3

You can feel the words on the screen burn into your irises, you shook your head praying that this was some sort of a joke. Oh god it had to be kind of sick joke. Your hands shake as you type your message.

GC: YO....

CG: OH GOD YEAH

CG: YEAH

CG: POSSIBLE MURDEROUS JUGGALO ON THE LOOSE....AGAIN.

CG: FAN-FUCKING-TASICK

CG: PLEASE TEREZI, PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU ARE JUST OVER REACTING AND THAT THIS IS JUST A BUNCH OF FROTHING LOONEYBLOCK NONSENSE

CG: PLEASE TELL ME THAT. BECAUSE I SERIOUSLY DONT THINK I CAN HANDLE ANOTHER FUCKING KILLING SPREE. SURE HE MAY OF FLIPED HIS SHIT BEFORE, BUT AT LEAST I COULD CALM HIS ASS DOWN. I CAN KEEP THE CLOWN ON A LEASH. I MEAN FOR FUCKSAKE HES MY FUCKING MORIAL, I CAN FUCKING HADLE HIM.

 You hold your breath waiting for her reply.

GC: K4RK4T DO YOU TH1NK 1'D B3 JOK1NG 4BOUT TH4T SH1T? 1'M FUCK1NG SUR3 OF 1T.

GC: TH3 FUCK3R W4S JUST 1N MY QU4RT3RS W4LK1NG 4ROUND CH4NT1NG TO H1MS3LF. H3 K3PT S4Y1NG HOW 1’D LOOK SO MUCH PR3TT13R 1F 1 H4D MY T34L BLOOD P41NT3D ONTO MY BODY 4ND 1 QUOT3 “COV3R1N TH3 MOTH3RFUCK1NG W4LLS L1K3 4 MUR4L OF M1R4CL3S.” TH3N H3 S41D H3’D 4DD SOM3 CH3RRY R3D 4ND … HOW H3’D K1LL FOR 4 B1T OF J4D3 TOO.

GC: SHOULD 1 GO ON?! TH1S 1S NO DR1LL! TH3S3 4R3 TH3 COLD H4RD F4CTS!

GC: 1T… TH4T’S NOT 3V3N TH3 FULL 3XT3NT OF 1T K4RK4T. H3.. H3

GC: H3 K1SS3D M3. ON TH3 L1PS

GC: 1T W4S GOGD4MN D1SGUST1NG

GC: 1’M SCARED KARKAT.

CG: WAIT...HE KISSED YOU?

 You feel a rush of relief wash over you like warm water. Closing your eyes you sigh, good. This was good. He wasn't getting his murder on. How could Terezi not see? It was so painfully obvious. 

GC: W3LL GOSH PO1ND3XT3R NOT L1K3 1 JUST FUCK1N SA1D TH4T

GC: *S1GH* WH4T’S 1T M4TT3R NOW

CG: OF COURSE THAT MATTERS!!

CG: JESUS TEREZI, I KNOW YOUVE NEVER HAD A KISMESIS BEFORE, BUT ARE YOU THAT NAÏEVE? HE IS DEFINITELY WAXING PITCH FOR YOU!

CG: PITCH RELATIONSHIPS FUCKING REVOLVE AROUND THAT SHIT, TRUST ME.

CG: LOOK....LEMMIE JUST FIND GAMZEE AND SHOOSH PAP HIS CLOWN ASS TILL HE CALMS THE FUCK DOWN.

CG: THEN WILL YOU STOP WORRYING?

GC: 1… 1 GU3SS SO

GC: B3 C4R3FUL YOU GRUMPFUCK

CG: UGH FINE

CG: I WILL BE MORE CAREFUL.

CG: I STILL THINK YOU ARE OVERREACTING THOUGH.

CG: JUST TELL ME IF HE TRIES ANYTHING DUMB SO I CAN CALM HIM DOWN.

GC: <3

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

CG: <3

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] 

 

You captchalogued your husktop incase Terezi started to freak out again. You had to be ready for her, the last thing you would want for her is to be scared. You also captchalogued your sickle. You don't know why you did this, it just seemed right. You knew nothing was going to happen but you did promise Terezi you would be careful. So here is you being careful, you shook your head as you walked out of your room.

You began to make your way down the halls towards Gamzee's room. You figured that was smart place to look, but then again that fucking Juggalo could be anywhere. It was like trying to find a poisoned needle in a stack of needles... Even though you had been on this meteor for god knows how long it was still hard to navigate. The halls were all dark, looking too similar to not be confusing. If you had a boonbuck for every time you got lost you...well you would have a shit ton of boondollars.

But you remembered you had to take at least three rights to get to Gamzee's room. Wait or was it three lefts? God this place is a fucking labyrinth.


You had been wandering around for what seems to be forever, and you still haven't Gamzee yet. Although you did stumble across a few hidden rooms, which was pretty cool you guess. Things were not always as they seem in this place, so you couldn't take anything for granted. This was pointless. Somewhere deep down you knew you were never going to find him from the start. The only way to actually find Gamzee was only if he wanted to be found. It always seemed like he knew where you were and how to find you at all times.

A sudden beep echoed though out the hall, it was probably Terezi wanting an update, you had been walking around aimlessly for quite sometime. Sitting down you took out your husktop and opened up Trollian. 

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GC: HONK

Your eyes widened as the mutated blood in your veins turned to ice. You remembered this all too well when Gamzee snapped for the first time. Your heart raced as you typed your message with shaky fingers.

CG: ....

CG: GAMZEE?

GC: you should have listen to your teal blooded girlfriend, brother

CG: OH FUCK OHFUCKOHFUCK

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER?!?!

CG: GAMZEE WHERE THE EVER LOVEING FUCK IS SHE???

GC: heh heh

GC: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL HAVE TO MOTHERFUCKING COME AND SEE, PALEBRO

GC: terecita and i are waiting for you in her motherfucking room

GC: MAYBE YOU CAN SHOOSH ME BACK TO NORMALCY BEFORE OUR LITTLE TEAL SISTER LOSES TOO MUCH BLOOD ;o)

GC: honk.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Your stomach dropped upon reading the messages Gamzee had sent you. You had been so wrong, so wrong, so fucking wrong! And now oh god oh god Terezi Terezi Terezi. You stood up and abandoned your husktop, it didn't matter at all. Bolting towards Terezi's room, you began to feel dizzy from fear. Your heart was pounding as you could only imagine the worst. The things he must be doing to her. The way she must be feeling- You shook your head. N-no mustn't let your mind go there. Your thinkpan must be clear and ready for almost anything...almost.

The only sound that filled the hallways was the loud hurried thumps of the soles of your shoes. This couldn't be happening, you just wanted to kick yourself. Terezi wasn't the one who was naïve it was you. It was all your fault, if only you didn't dismiss her fear, if only you were a better matesprit, if only you weren't the most absolute disgusting bucket of festering discharge in Paradox Space, if only you weren't you.

After every twist and turn you felt like you were getting no where. Everything looks the same, it was just an never ending maze. Hell you don't even know if you were going the right way. A burning sensation began to throb under your left side. Fuck! Damn your lack of endurance. Ignoring the pain you began to pick up your speed. You had to get to her, you just had to-

Turning another corner you slammed into someone which caused you to jump back with terror. You quickly regain your balance, arming yourself with you sickle, to almost faint with relief when you realized that someone you bumped into was Terezi.

"Terezi!" You screamed running up to her, she looked a bit started by your ought burst. Never in a million sweeps would you been so fucking joyful to see another troll. You grab her hands and intertwine them with your shaky ones, "Holy limp fronded stooge! You're okay!"

"What did I tell you Karkat! He's gone fucking nuts." She exclaimed. You heard her begin to speak again but in all seriousness you don't give a flying enflamed douche nozzle. The only thing that was on your mind if Terezi is hurt. Looking her over you see she had no real damage, but there was a bit of fresh teal that dipped down her lip.

A bolt of guilt hit you, if you had actually believed her before maybe you could of prevented that...Oh god what if she had actually died? Thank god she wasn't hurt too much. You realized Terezi was still speaking so you nod and catch the end of what she was saying. "He’s still back there, I tried to jam the door to my room shut but that probably won’t hold him...Jegus Karkat, he’s really gone off the deep end, and…." Terezi trailed off as she sniffed the air, her face twisted up in concern as she squeezed your hands.

"Karkat you’re shaking, are you okay?"

Your eyes widened, you hadn't realized you were shaking like a goddamn leaf, "He messaged me through your account like fucking last time!" Those messages were going to haunt you for quite some time. You grip onto her hands as if you were never going to let go,"Fucking christ Terezi. I actually thought you were dying!"

Her eyes widened as she formed an 'o' with her mouth. "W-what the fuck, oh gog come here." She pulled you in an embrace in an attempt to stop you from being the one to freak the fuck out. You wrapped your arms around her a bit too tight feeling her warmth, "I’m here, alright? I’m okay I’m… dude i’m about to crushed lighten up a bit."

"Fuck...I'm sorry, fuck!" Letting go of her you looked away. "I just need to find Gamzee and fucking calm him down again!"

"Karkat wh- fuck, no! That’s not an option karkat!" She retorted.

Turning back to face her, a surge of anger pulsated through you, "What the hell do you mean its not an option!! I'm his fucking moirail! That's what moiralis fucking do! Just let me shoosh pap him and we will all be fine!! I cannot fucking believe you would say that. That is so unbelievably stupid i can barely function. I now have a crucial date with a pneumatic drill, to bore a hole in the center of my forehead, deep into the plump anguish bladder which stores my dismay fluid."

Her frightened and once worrisome demeanor had suddenly changed and her face contorted into annoyance."Do moirails kill each other's matesprits!?" You were taken back by her sudden explosion, "No! That’s fucked up Karkat! No amount of shoosh papping will fix that! I thought you of all ‘romcom experts’ who be able to see something like That!" Terezi turns away for a split second and then faces you again. "Seriously bro, when was the last time your paps kept him calm for longer than a day?! Even a few hours!"

Your hands closed into fists, eyes flashing daring her to repeat once more the words that had stung your sides like freshly salted wounds,"Are you serious Terezi?! I can handle this." Your words shot out like hot acid. Terezi just stood there not saying a single goddamn word. You suddenly felt quite guilty again, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. The white hot feeling in the core of your stomach slowly started to die down, you opened your eyes. "Look, wether or not i can handle him, we cant just let him run loose, can we?? I am going to go calm him down, but if you feel the need to fucking protect me from my own fucking moirail, then feel free to tag along. But either way we have to make sure he doesn't run fucking loose!" You began to walk in the direction Terezi had come from.

"There’s gotta be a point when- Karkat wait!" Her voice panicked, "Karkat stop!!!" she ran right in front of you putting her hands up in defense. You stopped dead in your tracks listening to what she had to say, "Think about it for two fucking seconds! He’s lost his thinkpan, he practically threw it off the meteor himself! We could.. we could….We can’t fight him. Maybe… maybe we could get out of here!"

"What?! Terezi we just can't abandon Kanaya!" You stood there dumbfounded. What the hell was she thinking?

"KK are you honestly worried about Kanaya? She can hold her own against him, I have no doubt, she fucking sliced Ampora in half. Not to mention beat the shit outta vris and Gamzee, his bulge won’t be happy to see her again. We can contact her when we found somewhere safe, it’ll be okay! Can you trust me Karkat? Come on we have to leave!" Terezi grabbed your wrist holding you in place, she really seemed determined to convince you.

That white hot feeling in the core of your stomach was being fueled again, "No Terezi! I have hand enough deaths on this fucking meteor, and I am certainly not having any more before we meet the humans!" You ripped your wrist away. "Your plan sounds smart, but you are a fucking idiot if you think that I wont make sure everyones safe before we get the fuck out of here!" You paused for a moment thinking then begin to walk away and called over your shoulder. "Look, I'll meet you here in half an hour with Kanaya. Just stay safe until then, okay?"

Terezi's hand was still outstretched from you ripping your away, she pulled it close to her chest and uttered, "Hurry you fucking idiot" A few tears rolled down her cheek as she turned and ran to find a place to hide.


 

You had to find Kanaya, the quicker the better. Once the three of you were together you all could make a plan. So you picked up your speed. It was so hard to believe this was happening all over again, you really thought you had gotten through to Gamzee. You really thought you were a good moirail, but you guess you were wrong. You were always wrong.

Your breathing and heartbeat began to increase as your ears filled with white noise. The thumping of the soles of your sneakers against the concrete filled the hallway. Anyone close by could hear you coming a mile away. You felt extremely vulnerable, anyone could hear you. Anyone could attack you right now. You took out your sickle in hopes to make you feel safer. It didn't work.

You felt yourself start to become exhausted but you didn't care, you had to keep going. Turning the corner you crashed into something, or rather someone. You fall to the ground with a loud thump. Gazing up at the figure your gripped your sickle tighter,"Gamzee!"

He turned around, his face twisted in horror and agony. Was...was he shaking? Holy fuck he was. You slowly put your sickle away standing up.

"Karkat...you got t-to motherfucking help me." His voice was soft and oh my god he was stuttering, your heart nearly cracked in half. He looked so...so small and scared. Almost like a kicked barkbeast, you had never once thought he was capable of looking like one.

"Wha- what the actual fuck Gamzee?! Are you okay?" You couldn't help but ask, he was your moirail for fucks sake. You couldn't just stop feeling pale for him just because he started going crazy. 

Gamzee winced taking a step backwards, "I...I can't...I'm gonna motherfucking lose it!" He looked at you with pain in his eyes. "I don't want....I dont want to motherfucking hurt no one, b-brother... I need you."

Your eyes widened at his statement. Ever since you two had become moirails he had never really outwardly expressed needing you. I mean you always knew he did, he had to...right? However actually hearing him say it made you feel good but also really awful. You are so horrible. You were going to abandon him when he needed you the most. You were going to run away from him! He didn't deserve you. Gamzee is just a troubled kid and it wasn't his fault he had emotional issues. 

Your voice cracked, you needed to help him. You needed to be a better moirail. "Gamzee...It's okay. I can fix this. You won't hurt anyone." You opened your arms to him. "Just come here and everything will be okay."

"T-thank you!" Gamzee cautiously walked over, wrapped his long arms around you, nuzzling his face into the top of your head taking your smell in. "You are a motherfuckin miracle."

"Shoosh" You began to pap him. He tightened his arms, squeezing some of the air out of your lungs but you didn't care. "Shoosh" All you needed to was make him feel relaxed and calm.

"You know what else you are?" He asked.

You looked up at him, "What?"

He dug his nails into your skin, slamming you against the wall knocking the wind out of you. You gasped for air and Gamzee just laughed, he jus fucking laughed as he pined you in place with his body weight. He smirked. "A. Motherfucking. SUCKER!"

He used his now free hands to cover you nose and mouth. "Thats what you are!" Your eyes widened. Gamzee grins as your heart rate sped up. You wanted to break free, you needed to break free. Getting Terezi, Kanaya, and yourself far far away from him was supposed to be your goal, not to try and calm him down. You begin to feel light headed as your lungs screamed for air. You're a fucking idiot. How could you fall right into his plan. He was right.....you really are...a sucker.

A damned fool.  

Your world faded to darkness.