“Holy fucking God!”
The absolute horror in Jason’s voice had Tim running and bursting into their rented hotel room, bo at the ready, eyes scanning for assassins, ninja, cops… Yes cops. This is Jason he was with after all.
Seeing no one but his brother sitting in front of the newly bought laptop with a horrified expression made Tim narrow his eyes. Anything that could put that expression on the Goddamned Red Hood’s face was reason to be wary. “What happened? What the hell are you yelling about?”
“I–uhh… This!” Jason pointed accusingly at the screen like it was the Joker.
Tim strode towards the laptop, steeling himself for the onslaught of horrible, disgusting, terror–
Jason pushed into him hard, grinding his hips, making Tim moan. ‘Harder… Please…’
“What the–” Tim stared, commanding himself to stop reading but his stupid brain kept chug-chugging along, blame his superb speed-reading skills– 'Fuck me–Harder, Jay… Yes… Yes! Ahh… Fuck…’ – even as heat rose to the tips of his ears. “What the hell is th–that?!”
Seeing his dilemma, Jason dutifully turned the laptop around, breaking his eye-contact with the infernal porn–err–machine. “They call it Fanfiction.”
“Fanfiction?! That’s ridiculous! Why the hell would someone write –por–fan anything about us?!”
“Apparently, in this chunk of the multiverse… We’re comic book heroes.” Red Hood deadpanned. Tim’s jaw dropped. “I Googled our names. The closest thing we come to being real are cosplayers… Probably. Oh and Jensen Ackles as me, in some animated movie.”
“Animated movie?!” Tim slumped against the desk, leaning his jean clad hip to keep himself from falling over. “We’re dead! I’m going to be stuck here! With you! Of all people!”
Jason glared at him. “What the hell is wrong with me? I saved your fucking life a few hours ago!”
“By throwing us into an interdimensional gateway!” Tim countered, not the least bit impressed.
A few hours ago, they’d been fighting some evil scientist trying to merge different universes together. Jason was setting up bombs while Tim fought robots and kept Mr. Scientist busy. But then the guy flipped a switch and started firing lasers from different hidden compartments in his lab.
Lasers! Who the hell brings lasers at a hand-to-mechanical-hand fight? That guy. Obviously.
In an unexpected chain reaction, the lasers fried the robots. Was about to fry Tim too but Jason jumped him (No. Not that kind of jump!) and sent them both crashing into the interdimensional gateway that was whirling behind them.
They landed at the Gotham docks. Exactly where the lab would’ve been, had it been in another dimension. A cleaner, more peaceful dimension where capes didn’t exist except in comics, movies and… Porn.
Fuck it all.
“Let’s hope Batman got my message before we went all Ben 10 Omniverse on him…” Tim pinched the bridge of his nose. They had some cash but it won’t last long. They already bought a change of clothes, a laptop and paid for a hotel room. They had no idea how long they’d be stuck there or if they can even get back. “I hope he figures out how to pull us out of here. Or we may be here for a long time. Maybe forever. Ugh!”
“We’ll figure something out.” Jason replied rather calmly that made Tim stare at him. The older man shrugged. “No use dwelling on that now. We may need to move out of here and look for a cheaper place to hole in as soon as possible though. I only have a few hundred on me.”
“Me too.” He replied and let out a chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. At Jason’s raised eyebrow, he smiled. “Figures if I get sucked into dimensional rifts, it’d be with someone with no superpowers. Never been lucky like that.”
Jason’s eyes narrowed. “Well, I’m sorry you’re stuck with me and not your alien clone boy!”
Tim punched him in the shoulder. “I was thinking Zatana or Dr. Fate or anyone who can get us out of this mess, you idiot!”
“Oh.” Jason perked up. “Zatana would’ve been nice. Yeah.”
Tim laughed, imagining the sexy magician with those fishnet stockings. “Uh-huh…”
“Well, who knew you were such a perv, Boy Virgin?” Jason guffawed and slapped him on the thigh. Then he proceeded by turning the laptop back to face Tim as he stood up. “Here. Read some self-porn while I get us something to eat.”
Tim’s eyes locked onto the damn words again. 'There! Right there… Oh god, Jason… That feels so… Ah. Fuck…’
“Are you coming?” Jason asked from the door.
It took Tim three seconds to register that it was the real Jason asking, not the one in the story that said the exact same words. Tim tore his eyes away from the screen, face heating up as he stared at the damn guy. “I’m coming!”
Jason smirked. “Already, Timmy?”
“Oh fuck you, Jay.”
Jason slung an arm over his shoulder and drawled by his ear. “You already did, remember?”