Booth kept his eyes straight ahead, staring through the windshield at the really boring landscaping that edged the Jeffersonian's parking lot.
"Bones," he said, yet again, "I really--"
"Hang on," Bones said, voice muffled, "I almost have it."
Her hand on his thigh pressed down harder, and her breasts shifted against his leg, and he could not look down at her hair tossed across his lap again, he really could not--
He snapped his gaze back up. He really could not look down again.
"I think this would be easier if I weren't in your way," Booth tried. That was a whole sentence. Good.
"You're not in my way," Bones muttered, leaning more of her weight onto him, her hand curving around his ankle for a second before she squirmed sideways again and reached in a different direction. "I saw it fall, Booth, I just..."
Booth opened and closed his hands on the steering wheel and tried not to even breathe. In another minute, he was going to grab Bones by the back of her cute little blouse and pull her out of his lap, and tell her she could--
A rap on the window made Booth jump, which made Bones let out an irritated noise somewhere below his knees.
Booth tried to remember how to breathe, and rolled the window down, a sickly helpless smile on his face. "Camille," he said. "Hi, this isn't--"
Camille was staring at him. SUV, right, and Camille was standing outside, so she couldn't really see his lap. "Is Dr. Brennan--"
"One second!" Bones called out.
Camille's eyebrows arched up, and she leaned in to look--dammit, shouldn't have rolled the window down--
"This really isn't what--"
Camille straightened up, posture perfect, with this look on her face. Booth was still trying to figure out whether the look fell under the ex-girlfriend category, or the colleague category, or the Bones's boss category, when Bones finally braced her hand--and half her body weight--on his thigh and pushed herself upright, tossing her hair back. She was grinning and holding up her favorite pen. "Got it!"
Booth went back to staring straight ahead, so it was only in his peripheral vision that he saw Bones tucking her hair behind her ears with the hand holding the pen. She didn't take her weight off his leg, and she didn't back away. "Were you looking for me, Cam?"
"Uh, yes," Camille said, and Booth closed his eyes at the half-submerged laughter in her voice. He was never going to hear the end of this. "But you know what, it'll wait until you come inside. I'll talk to you later!"
"Okay!" Bones said, as Camille turned away and walked off, heels clicking on the asphalt. "I'll be right there!"
Booth rolled the window back up. Bones finally eased away from him and into her own seat, probably putting her damn pen away, and Booth turned his head to watch Camille walk away and back inside. When he turned his head to look at Bones, she leaned across the console and kissed him before he could react.
He was blinking at her, dazed, when she said, "See? I told you. After all this time, it doesn't matter how obvious we are, no one will believe it's really happening."
Booth opened his mouth, realized that You weren't actually going down on me in the parking lot would just sound like a challenge to his partner, and shut his mouth again.
Bones smiled and zipped her bag.
"You're an evil woman," he said finally, because he couldn't just not say anything.
"Evil is a construct of your hierarchically bound and frankly misogynistic religious framework," Bones replied. She gave him another bright smile as she opened her door. "It's really not my problem."