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Tea for Two

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Spike eventually fell asleep. Eventually. He woke up when Giles got up and staggered off to the bathroom. Spike could tell it was the bathroom from the sound of it. He tried his best to glare menacingly at the door for when Giles came back in.

As menacingly as you can when you’re spread eagled on the bed with your ass in the air. It still hurt.

Spike waited. Eventually he heard Giles rummaging around in what must be the kitchen. When he heard the tea pot start to whistle he lost it.

“You Bloody Plonker! You’re just going to LEAVE me here you Piss-artist?” He was sad to say his language got worse after that.

Giles came tearing into the bedroom with a completely shocked and bewildered look on his face.

“What?... what!... how did you…who…what….” Giles was still absolutely reeking of booze. Vomit and piss too actually. Lovely.

“You know there’s a PROTOCOL to this, ya daft wanker…” Spike snarled at him, “and this. Isn’t. it.”

Giles just stared at him.

Very quietly Giles said, “Spike?”

Spike gritted his teeth. “Yes?”

“Err… why you are ….” Giles waved at Spike and the bed, “here?”

Spike stared at Giles and sarcastically snarled, “Apparently your idea of a good time and mine are a bit ‘different’ Sunshine! How do you THINK I got here, you hit me with a bat and chained me to the bed!”

Giles stood there with his mouth open for a few beats. Then he closed it. “I…I did?”

Giles suddenly fled the room.

Sodding wonderful, Spike put his head back down into the pillows. Still tied to the fucking bed.

Every few minutes Giles darted his head around the doorframe, as if to check that Spike was still there.

After about the third time spike yelled after him, “You already KNOW what my arse looks like, Nancy!”

Spike heard a flurry of rustling noises, and after a while the front door opened and shut.

Oh Crap. Bad enough the damned watcher did this to me, now he’s gonna go and show off my magnificent arse to the Pack of wanna be slayers.

“I killed two Slayers you felching bastard, I deserve to die with more dignity!” He yelled after him but the door had already closed.

He heard the front door open again, a long time later. From the amount of noise Giles wasn’t alone. Either that or he’d gone shopping and was fighting with his grocery bags.

Spike sank his head back down in disgust. “No way to treat a proper villain.”

Giles was doing something noisy in another room. Spike frowned. He didn’t really hear anyone else, now that he thought about it. Ooooooooooooh shite. Guess he wanted to get some things to question me a bit more. Fuck. Well, it beats having wanker boy staring at his ass and laughing.

Giles came in carrying a bag and a tray with some medical looking implements. Spike closed his eyes and looked away. He could hear Giles come over to the bed. Giles put a hand on the whip mark and Spike flinched in anticipation of worse.

“What, didn’t get your rocks off enough last night?” Spike snarled defiantly at him. He had another think coming if he expected Spike to crack: Angelus had done worse just from having a bad hair day.

Giles opened something and started applying it to the cut. Spike snarled at him, expecting more of that burning pain. It didn’t hurt. What?

Giles gulped a few times, “First of all let me say I am really extremely sorry, I mean I never thought this would happen and I honestly don’t know what I could have been thinking. I was extremely drunk and I honestly don’t even remember very much of it…”

Spike froze. What the HELL was he saying?

Spike struggled to turn his head back to stare at Giles. Giles looked … frantic… and apologetic... And… embarrassed?

Spike was about to say something when Giles put a plastic tube up to his mouth. Spike was about to yank his head back but he smelled blood. He realized that the tube was part of some kind of hospital blood bag. What the HECK?

Giles stuttered and stammered some more while Spike started sipping at the tube, staring suspiciously up at Giles the entire time.

“Really, I don’t know what came over me, it’s entirely unacceptable.” He gulped a bit more, “I must have been insanely drunk. No matter how attractive you are there is just NO excuse.”