This is not how Bruce expected to lose his virginity. He had run the scenarios in his mind before, mostly in the quiet times in the dark, before he would fall asleep. Statically, he knew that given his demographics, he would have premarital relations. In running all the possibilities, this had never been among the percentages. There was a 43% chance he would lose it in the Manor, in his bedroom. And there was a 27% change he would lose it in the back of a car either parked on some side street of Gotham or out past the city limits (it was 9% vs 18% for city vs country). The other percentages fell to less likely odds such as losing it in a college dorm room (less 1% since he doubted college was in his future at this point), losing it on his family’s private jet (4%, if only for the thrill), losing it at one of the vacation properties (10% if he factored in a romantic variable to the situation) and the rest scattered among private and public spaces.
But he was 100% sure this is who he would be with.
There was nothing in his calculations for this: running down a filthy alley that smelled of piss and desperation, clutching his arm where the bullet had grazed him when he stepped in to protect Selina. There was no scenario that began with the two of them being chased by thugs armed to the teeth. He forgot the variables of fear, life or death, and the very real possibility that he might never see Alfred again if those thugs caught up to them.
In the years since Jerome had been murdered, the city became a haven for the criminally insane. The police did their best but they were basically powerless against the tsunami of crime. This city needed something else, something more, to protect its citizens. As the city grew darker and more violent, Bruce had grown withdrawn and more brooding, turning to books and studies. Selina hadn’t changed much, merely moving from girl to woman. Perhaps that is why he kept seeking her out. Her morality was grey, but it was always the same shade. Over the years he learned that her unpredictability was hardly that, it was merely self-preservation. It only looked rash and impulsive if you couldn’t see the patterns. Sometimes she surprised him though, like earlier today when she came to him for help after discovering a child trafficking ring operating out of the old Willowwood Home for Children. It was supposed to be strictly recon but it was never strictly anything with Selina.
She surprised him again as she yanked him out of the alley and into an abandoned building by his good arm. He resisted the urge to cry out as Selina pushed a finger to her lips and continued to pull him along. He always marveled how she could see in the dark. She found the stairs as if it was daytime while he stumbled as his eyes adjusted to the light. Light on her feet, she didn’t make a noise as she rushed up past the floors, him following behind as best he could in the dark and bleeding. He couldn’t even hear her breathing but then again, the only sound he could hear was the beating of his own heart rushing against his ears, making him dizzy.
Selina paused at the door to the roof. Falling to her knees, it only took her seconds before she had the lock picked and the door opened. She held it for him, gesturing for him to come through quickly. As soon as he had, the door was closed and she was back on her knees sabotaging the lock. If the thugs did figure out where they went, they weren’t coming through the door. The only option was the fire escape, which Selina was already running towards to see if the meatheads had figured out where they had gone.
The buildings were stacked so close together in this part of the city, they would have plenty of time to jump across and get a decent head start before their pursuers even made it to the top. For the moment though, Bruce sunk down to sit on the ground, back against the ledge of the roof. He pulled his jacket from his arm, looking at the wound in the moonlight. Not deep, though it hurt and he would have to try to make a bandage with what he had. He would have to make a note in his father’s medical textbooks of what it felt like to be shot. The papers and novels he read hadn’t described it accurately at all.
Selina peered over the ledge, walking the perimeter of the roof. It took her several minutes since she was being thorough. Finally, she moved back to him. Kneeling by him, she pulled a scarf from inside her jacket, moving to start tying off his wound. At least she spoke, but she kept her voice low. She knew the city would mask their voices this high up from those on the streets but she didn’t want to take chances.
“I don’t see them down there but that doesn’t mean they aren’t waiting someplace or checking dumpsters or buildings. We should stay up here for a bit.” She said, not looking at him as she tended to his wound. This was her fault, though she only admitted it to herself for a half second before her instincts kicked in. “Does it hurt?”
He watched her as she worked and then he nodded. “Selina, I might be going into shock. The wound isn’t bad but with the adrenaline and physical activity, I’ve lost a good amount of blood. I’ve only read about it but given the circumstances—“
She interrupted him, “Jeeze, do you never put the textbook down?” Her eyes met his for a moment as she finished and she moved to sit next to him. She finally sighed deeply, giving in. “So what do we have to do?”
“You’ve already stopped the bleeding. That is step one. I need to lie down and have my legs elevated. And I need to stay warm. I don’t think calling an ambulance at this time wouldn’t be wise.”
“You know, you’re really asking a lot. It’s a good thing I like you.” Selina shrugged her jacket off and moved to put it against his chest. It wasn’t much and it was too small but it was better than nothing. “Sometimes, people will leave mattresses and stuff on the roof, so they can star gaze. I’ll go see if I can find anything and check the street again.” Selina didn’t dare tell him that these were probably more likely used by junkies after they shot up so they could nod off without getting hassled by the police like they would on the street or in the alley.
Bruce merely nodded at her suggestion. It seemed ridiculous to him. Given the amount of light the city emitted coupled with the street steam and other forms of humidity, seeing the stars in this part of Gotham would be a futile effort at best. Really, it was just a waste of a perfectly good bedroom necessity.
But the moon was round and full, giving him at least enough light to see Selina as she moved around the roof. It seemed like a lifetime ago when the two of them were on the run. Once again from forces seeking to murder them. And then there was the time at the charity gala. Not to mention the dozen or so other times in the last few years. In thinking about it, Bruce was sure he could make a case for a pattern with them, one always rescuing the other from some predicament.
There was no time to formulate the proof as he saw Selina dragging something across the roof towards him. The sound was noticeable and he was worried for an instant that those the stories below on the street could hear it until he calculated the distance and ambient noise. Despite his wanting to help her, he knew in his condition it would be best to stay there.
Selina brought the mattress right to the edge of the roof so that they could still use the ledge to hide themselves. Bruce was not going to consider the unsanitary state this mattress was surely in after being on the roof for who knows how long and used for who knew what purposes. Instead, he wordlessly pulled himself over and onto it to lay down.
“I found these too.” Selina said as she stuffed blankets under his legs to elevate them, moving to drape one of the thicker blankets over him. Once under the blanket, she took her jacket back, pushing it under his legs to give him more elevation. She knelt on the mattress, looking at him, as if she was considering something. Finally, she moved, lying next to him under the blanket. “What? You said you had to keep warm.” She was just secretly happy that the blankets smelled stale and dusty rather than something else.
Neither of them spoke. Bruce listened to his breathing, trying to calm himself down. He focused on the moon. The danger hadn’t really passed. It was just hiding for the moment. He was going to have to be ready for when they hit the ground again. He was useless to Selina unless he could will his body to stay out of shock. However, when he felt Selina’s arm go around him, her body move against his side, he couldn’t help his heart speeding up along with his breathing. Turning his head, he looked at her in the moonlight. “Selina…” He said her name softly, partly because of the danger, partly for reasons he never would fully understand.
“Shut up, Bruce.” She said simply before she shut him up herself. She pressed her lips to his, hungry, wanting. Not waiting for him to adjust, she pushed her tongue past his lips, invading his mouth.
Bruce had no idea what to do. They had kissed before. All innocent. But this was different. This was something deeper. He had spent so many times reading about the mechanics of kissing and love making, now in the moment, he found himself unable to put it into practice. He floundered, embarrassment coloring his face. When she broke the kiss, he moved, desperate to get it back. “Wait…let me try again.”
She laughed softly, a sound barely there, but it wasn’t towards him. It was towards the situation. “Calm down. I wanted to give you a chance to breathe. You’re the one with the gunshot wound and going into shock.”
“I can handle it.” Bruce replied, in a more gruff tone than he had intended. He reached for her with his good arm, pulling her close to him once more. This time, he initiated the kiss. It was still sloppy, amateurish, but practice makes perfect and Bruce intended to practice as much as he could in this time they had.
Bruce expected it to be like the books or television or movies, where time stops and there are only the two of you. But the fact was that even though he was present in the moment with Selina, part of him was still listening for the rattle of the fire escape ladder coming down or the pounding on the roof access door. His eyes closed for only brief moments before quickly scanning the corners for signs of trouble. Perhaps if he had told Selina about his scenarios earlier, shown her the charts and percentages, he could have had one of those Hollywood experiences.
When he felt Selina’s hand slip from his stomach to lower, slipping under the band of his slacks, it yanked him out of his vigilance. He had no idea how long they had been kissing, how much time had passed. But he no longer felt faint and some of his color had returned.
She broke the kiss, looking at him. “This won’t make things worse will it? Like with your shock?” There was a rare tone of concern to her voice.
Bruce knew that her concern only went so far. Selina was a Venn Diagram and as long as concern with others overlapped with her own self-interests, everything was copacetic. He looked into her eyes. He was trying to discern her reasons for this. Maybe it was just the heat of the moment, the adrenaline, but there was a desire in her features.
“It’s good…I’m fine…” He said as he nodded. Given the position of her hand and what she was doing, he didn’t care if this would kill him. He’d die happy. This was a rare time when his reptilian brain, his baser teenage desires, overrode any rational thought. There was only Selina.
It might have been the kissing or it might have been the feel of her warm hand against his skin but Bruce was so lost in his haze of lust, he didn’t even notice as Selina kicked off her boots and wiggled free from the skin tight pants she always wore. He felt her move though, guiding him with kisses as she moved over him. Breaking the kiss once more, she looked down at him.
“You sure?” She asked. It was a simple question, it should have a simple answer.
The only thing Bruce could feel was the heat from her, the way her body felt as she sat on top of him, waiting on his answer. Part of him, now free from its cotton prison, was answering more enthusiastically. His mouth was suddenly dry but he did manage to nod his head. Selina shifted once more, rising up, and then…
Nothing in his books talked about this. It was all mechanics, procreation, cellular division. No amount of “educational” videos, watched on his laptop in the privacy of his own room, could have prepared him for these sensations. All of the charts, diagrams, statistics, and visuals went completely out the window. This was indescribable. He didn’t care about the thugs or the pain in his arm or that this wasn’t one of his planned scenarios. All he cared about was this beautiful woman on top of him.
He reached with one hand to touch her hip, tentatively moving upward to slip under her shirt. How he wished he hadn’t gotten shot. He watched her, Selina’s eyes half lidded in pleasure, her face turned up to catch the moonlight.
It was all over too quickly. He could have blamed any number of factors but his mind was swimming in too much bliss to begin citing research. All he wanted to do was stay in this moment forever, to drift to sleep with Selina beside him. But it was interrupted as he felt her pulling her pants on. He sat up slightly.
“Selina, I’m sorry. Next time...I’ve read books. I’ve seen movies. I have scenarios and ran variables for every conceivable possibility. I know 38 different ways how to please a woman.” There was a slight pleading to his voice, a tone only she could bring out. He wanted to reach for her and beg her to stop but he knew that would just send her running.
Selina turned and in the moonlight, he could see her smile, her eyes flashing with amusement. “Don’t worry, kid. You did great considering you got shot.” She leaned over, meeting his lips once more. This kiss was more sedate, more innocent, but still just as sweet. Breaking the kiss, she finished getting dressed.
“I think the coast is clear.” She said as she helped him with his pants. “We need to get you to a hospital, ASAP.”
Bruce reached for her but he didn’t say a word. He just looked at her. He was never good with words but in this moment, they completely failed him. There was a tension there now, something unspoken between them. They could never go back to what they were, whatever that was, and Bruce didn’t want to.
Selina’s smile faded for a moment but returned quickly. “Hey, if we don’t get you out of here and to a hospital, how are you going to show me those 38 ways huh?”
That was enough to break the weird tension between them. Bruce smiled but just barely. He was going to have to recalculate everything.